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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 98 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread |

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Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Ellen

    Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open Thread’s and EVERYTHING IVANKA, includeing these boot’s in GRAY, which are only $109. YAY b/c I cannot wear these at work but at $109, I can aford it for myself. I am now VERY fruegel after reading Corporete for all these year’s! DOUBEL YAY for Kat!

    This weekend, I am visiting with Grandma Trudy, who keep’s telleing me to find a guy. I keep telleing her
    I am tryeing, but I do NOT want a date, I need a MATE! Grandma Leyeh is annoyed that I took the $50K, but still have no SPOUSE. FOOEY b/c do want a spouse, but not a mouse & I need a guy with enough money to buy me a house! FOOEY on men that just want sex but NOT a house (or me). I will report back to the HIVE immediately if I find a guy, but if any of you can help here with an eligibel man, I would SO much apreciate it! YAY!!!!

    • Anonymous 2

      Ellen, I think we all love you dearly, but at least I think you are going about the marriage and kids thing all wrong. I’ll bet 50% of us on the site are married, and you’re more educated than most of us. I’d also venture to say that you’re probably prettier than most of us — at least in the eyes of impartial observers. Yet, of those of us who are married and not as attractive or educated as you, what were we able to do that you have not. Or, put another way, what is our secret? Well, I think is our attitude toward men and sex and relationships. While I am no psychologist, I think you are going about your search all wrong. You should not be looking for a rich guy to buy you a fancy house and cars so that you can lounge about in the suburbs, and perhaps bear a couple of kids as the price of admission. Instead you should be looking for a guy who will be your lifemate. You should lead with your heart, not your vag, because beauty is at best temporary, and if you have a beautiful personality, that will not fade, while looks certainly do. You are young and cute now, so do your best to seek a guy who will be with you for the long term, not a finance guy who may have more money, but a guy who will not drop you like a hot potato when you are 45 years oldwith 10 and 6 year old kids in tow who is no longer the young and hot babe that attracted him in the first place, as that finance guy will surely be looking to replace you with a younger and hottermodel than you’ve become.

      In a nutshell, look for the guy who is not that. You won’t find them in the Hampton’s or in the meatpacking district. Most likely, the guy for you may be right down the hall from you, either at work or in your apartment, in the gym or in your house of worship. With the right attitude, you can do what the rest of us “plain Janes” have done. Namely, find a soulmate who we can snuggle with every night, have great sex, and most importantly, a great life together. Best of luck, Ellen!

  2. Anonymous

    What is your favorite thing about summer?

    I’ll go first- the super long days! It feels like I have another whole day after leaving work. And the fresh local produce at the farmers markets.

    • anonymous2

      Not having to wear a sweater or a coat indoors or out. Fresh produce is right up there too.

    • JJ

      Being in the pool on weekends. Other than that, I hate summer. But, I live in Texas and it’s so hot that you can’t go outside.

      Ask me about fall! I love fall.

    • KittyKat

      Yoga every morning on the beach, fresh produce (though I will admit I like the fall produce better, all the pumpkins and squash), and sangria on my balcony

        • KittyKat

          I live in a place that has a very high quality of living and always makes a bunch of those “best” lists. But it’s also notorious for having 2 seasons: hot and snow. Spring and fall are 3 week events here

    • TO Lawyer

      Being able to leave the office at a reasonable hour and doing things outside without wearing 346 layers of clothing!

    • TBK

      It being light when the kids wake up. But other than that, nothing at all. I hate summer. I hate the weather. I hate the clothes. I hate the crowds of tourists on the Metro. I really hate the weather. I hate that I don’t live near the ocean the way I did growing up so there isn’t even that nice sea smell or that shift in the wind that brings cool air or eating steamers out on the back porch on a pile of newspapers or spending the day on a friend’s boat checking out the beaches. And I hate the weather.

    • anon

      Farmers markets, pool time and longer days. I live on the southern coast so a combination of ocean breezes and afternoon storms brings some relief to the weather. Otherwise it is 90+ and super humid for months on end.

      I’m with JJ. I love fall. College football, cooler temps, the light is beautiful, and the city is less crowded with tourists.

      • Away Game

        My DH would give a million points for this answer. (I prefer a nice crisp sauvignon, myself.)

      • Baconpancakes

        I can get behind this one. Rosé, berries, and grilling are the only redeeming qualities of summer. Hate the beach, hate the sun, hate the heat and the clothes and mostly the heat and humidity and did I mention the heat?

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      Being able to put in a full day of work and it being light outside when I leave the office. Drinks outside with friends. Playing in the park with my nephew. Wearing cute dresses and not being freezing!

    • Sparrow

      The warm weather. I can throw on a dress and slip into a pair of shoes and I’m out the door. Spending time on our deck. Fresh tomatoes out of our garden. School is out, so traffic is much better.

    • WJM-TV

      That I don’t have to wear 3 pairs of socks to keep my toes warm. That’s about it. I’m all about fall and spring.

    • Bonnie

      Walking to a neighborhood restaurant with the puppy to sit outside and read a book while enjoying a glass of rose.

      • Wildkitten

        If I were independently wealthy this is what I would do every day. In Paris.

    • Anonymous

      That my son isn’t in school so no homework wars, AND, I can sleep longer before work without having to wake him up!

  3. Pam

    Not having to wake up myself and the kids at 7am to be at school by 8am. Waking up is not the problem, it’s the cranky kids and my son re-arranging his room at 7:55am because he feels he needs to do that 5 minutes before the tardy bell rings.

  4. Tea

    I’m going to a formal tea Sunday for a friend who’s getting married. My husband and I are good friends of the couple, but the primary relationship is between my husband and the groom — my husband is a groomsman, but I’m not a bridesmaid. I haven’t been invited to any other parties for the bride, so I’m not sure if there’s also a shower or bachelorette. The couple live permanently in our city, are temporarily living in another city, and are originally from a third city (which is where their family are and where the wedding will be). It’s possible that this tea is sort of the shower/bachelorette replacement for the bride’s friends here.

    My question is — should I bring a present? If so, what sort of present? The invitation didn’t suggest that this was in fact a shower (it simply said a formal tea in honor of [bride]). Something off the registry? For how much?

      • Jules

        Agreed. And I think if it were intended as a shower it would say so on the invitation.

    • anon

      I would probably bring a card with a gift card inside, because I wouldn’t want to assume no presents and then show up without one or assume presents and be the only person with some bulky gift.

    • Need to Improve

      I think this a polite way to have a shower without seeming like a gift grab. I would bring a gift but it could be a very nice bottle of champagne for the couple with a card.

    • Anonymous

      It’s not a shower. If it were, it would say so on the invite. I would not bring a gift. I would show up in a cute outfit, be a good guest, and send a thank you note.

      When I see people do this it is because they do not want gifts.

  5. Tea

    Ugh stuck in moderation because I wrote out bachelor3tt3. Quick version — if I’m going to a formal tea in honor of a bride this weekend, do I bring a present? If so, what kind and for how much? For context, we’re close friends of the couple but I don’t know if there’s a shower planned (haven’t seen an invite).

  6. Small firm question

    I work for a small boutique type firm. I’ll be going into my 7th year of practice and my 5th year at this firm. The owner is in his early 60’s, former big law. I don’t know what the plan is for when he eventually retires. There are 2 other lawyers here beside me and the owner that practice litigation and then 3 others that do corporate/trusts etc. I can’t yet say for certain but I don’t think I would want to run my own firm. I’d probably prefer to find an in-house job at that point and the owner is well respected with a ton of connections and could likely help me do it. I just don’t know when that point will be. He could practice another 3 years or another 20. I feel like I need to start making a more long term plan. I have an annual review coming up. Would it be appropriate to discuss with him his long term plans for the firm and his potential future retirement? Would I be shooting myself in the foot to say I wouldn’t want to run the place come that time or would it be presumptuous to assume that would even be an option? I have a lot of freedom here though and I know I would give a lot of that up to go in-house. Maybe I should consider whatever the option would be come his retirement, even if it meant running a business. Anyone ever been in this position? It’s not clear like at big firms where you either make partner, become of counsel or move on. We are all just “attorneys” there is no partner/associate distinction really.

    • IMMJ

      I have never worked at a small firm, but I am the owner’s age and so maybe can provide some perspective. I would tell him that you love working at the firm but know it will change when (if ever) he reaches a point when he decides to pull back. You can ask him what he sees happening over the next several years and for his advice as to how he sees your future and what you should do. Don’t tell him that you wouldn’t want to run the place; just listen to what he has to say. If he asks you about what you’re thinking tell him that you would consider either staying with the firm or going in-house and ask him what he thinks. As you have probably already figured out, the key thing is to ask him for advice and to listen carefully to what he says. My guess is that he’ll say that he intends to keep working for a long time, but maybe not, and even if he intends to stay working he might have good ideas about your future.

  7. Anonymous

    I am planning a small city hall wedding in SF. It’ll be a short ceremony so I don’t want to spend a lot of money – but I’d still like to get nice photographs and get hair/makeup done – does anyone have any suggestions for experienced but cheap sf city hall photographers and stylists who can do asian hair/makeup? Also welcome other tips for those who have done similar city hall weddings?

    • Wildkitten

      I’d do drybar for hair. It’s only $45. I’d be surprised/horrified if the stylist in SF didn’t know how to do asian hair.

      • Anonymous

        I had a REALLY terrible experience with Drybar. My hair came out super sleek and straight on one side; super curly on the other. Neither side looked terrible on its own, but neither was exactly what I wanted and the contrast was weird and jarring. Also, FWIW I’m white but have thicker than average hair and the stylist was absolutely baffled by it and kept asking if it was my natural texture (it is). If you check Yelp reviews, there are a lot of complaints about the stylists not knowing what to do with non-white hair, including Asian hair. I am also in the Bay Area, in a city with a large Asian population.
        For your wedding day, I would go to a trusted stylist or at minimum a recommendation from a friend whose hair I like.

    • IMMJ

      Take a look at the amidprivilege blog. She’s older (late 50’s) and not Asian, but she got married there a year or two ago and had some lovely photos on her website. So that might be a starting point.

    • MJ

      Miki Vargas photography is great…they did my friends’ lesbian mariachi wedding (it was AMAZING!) and also the civil ceremony at SF City Hall. Highly recommend and Miki is from the East Bay so a bit more reasonable than some of the chi-chi SF peeps.

      http://www.mikivargasphotography.com/

      • Wildkitten

        Now I want a lesbian mariachi wedding. In Paris. With rose and puppies.

        • Anonymous 2

          Congratulations for your boldness, Wildkitten. It’s always heartening to read about other women who are proud of their sexuality — whatever it may be. I was particularly thrilled by the speech of Kaitlin Jenner (f/k/a Bruce). She is quite a spokesmodel for the transgender community, and I am thrilled that she has made the transition.

          • Wildkitten

            Oh I’m straight – that just sounded amazing. And Caitlyn spells her name Caitlyn.

          • Wildkitten

            I’m not trying to be nit-picky about Caitlyn. I thought it was interesting that she could have spelled her name with a K but chose not to.

    • Need to Improve

      I LOVE SF city hall weddings. Love.

      I like Veer and Wander for hair; it’s walking distance from city hall.

      Wendy K Yalom is a great photographer but I doubt she is cheap.

      If I were getting married at city hall, I would head to Zuni afterwards for a wonderful lunch party with champagne and oysters.

    • Sf wedding

      I got married at SF City Hall. Look at Triple Twist for makeup – the artist had a special weekday city hall wedding package that was very affordable. Her studio is in the flood building as I recall, or another one of those beauty buildings near Neiman. I went there first, then took a cab to city hall to meet DH. The owner was a aerial artist in cirque due soliel, so she knows about makeup with staying power, and the look she gave me was very naturally pretty a la the best version of the real me.

      As for photography, our photographer has moved away but check A Practical Wdding blog. There are listings for photographers who specialize in Sf city hall weddings and know the building really well so they know where are the best spots for pictures.

      Congratulations! Years later, we still have no regrets about our tiny weekday wedding.

      • Sf wedding

        Also, the makeup artist at Triple Twist is named Mei and is Chinese-American, I think. She also did the makeup for a wedding I was in. That bridal party included four Asian women from different east Asian heritages, two white women, and a hapa woman. We all looked great.

      • Anon

        I also got married at SF City Hall and used Christina McNeill Photography. She’s high end so not cheap but she offers a reasonable city hall package and her photos are gorgeous (she works mostly with film). Highly recommend her.

    • Mrs. P

      Ana Hogan photographed my SF City Hall wedding. She’s great – check out her Yelp.

  8. Need to Improve

    Question: what socks do you wear with booties under jeans or pants where the jean or pant is shorter than the top of the bootie? Those little white athletic socks for running shoes still poke out from under the bootie and look bad. Trouser socks seem a little too thick. It’s almost like they need knee high tights?

    PS: I love these. But I just bought 3 pairs of booties at NAS.

    • A

      Hue sells no-show socks that are actually no-show – they have a wider scoop than athletic socks, but they aren’t those annoying socks that you’re supposed to wear with ballet flats that always fall off your feet and you can see anyway. I also sometimes wear nude fishnet (or other sheer/patterned ) trouser socks.

    • J

      non-athletic no-shows (Target is great for these), or crazy patterned/brightly colored trouser socks so it looks intentional.

    • Baconpancakes

      I like the SmartWool no-shows. They stay aren’t no-show enough for ballet flats, but are perfect for Keds, boots, boat shoes, or loafers.

  10. Anon

    I am in my mid-thirties, but I’m unmarried, have no kids, and look young for my age. (Most people think I’m in my mid twenties.) How do I nicely handle it when co-workers or colleagues suggest that I’m young enough to flit around (take different jobs, travel, etc.)?

    They wouldn’t say it to a man with kids, and I doubt any man my age would be told that. I want to build a career, not be a manic pixie dream girl, and it seems completely unprofessional to tell a colleague to not take her job seriously.

    • Anon

      It’s probably wishful thinking on their part. If you think you aren’t getting the assignments you’d like, I’d recommend talking to your manager about stretch assignments or getting a mentor.

    • Anonymous 2

      Enjoy your status, and ignore those who would think you want to go through life as a thoughtless ditz. You have characteristics of an old soul, and that is a good thing. If you stick to your attitude, you’ll be far ahead of others 10 years from now. You’ll have a great career, money in the bank and prospects for the future. You may also have found a great guy to marry and live your life with. Congratulations to you and keep up the good work!

      • Anon

        Eek, just because someone is a bit restless doesn’t make them a “thoughtless ditz”. I “flitted” between a few jobs in my twenties, did a round-the-world backpacking trip, and moved across the country in my mid-late 20s. Now I’m in my early 30s and am an executive at my company – i.e. I have “a great career, money in the bank, and prospects for the future” AND “a great guy to marry and live my life with.” And I have a lot of great memories and learned a lot from my restless years! Right now, I’m quite committed to my career and staying settled, but definitely the light at the end of the tunnel is when DH and I are free again to travel and flit – I guess he and I will be thoughtless ditzes together!

  11. Home

    I had a conversation with friends today about this.

    – How old were you when you bought you first home?
    – Did you have family help with the down payment?
    – Do you have student loans? Or did you have student loans?

    I think parental help is becoming more and more common with home purchases.

      • Anon

        I don’the own a house. But it is common for parents to give some money as gift towards the down payment for the first house and/or pay for college degree among Asian (including Indian) parents.

    • roses

      26
      We didn’t need help but my in-laws gave us a gift of about 5K gift toward the downpayment – wasn’t planning on that though
      Hubs and I had 200K collectively in student loans; paid off appx 5 months before we bought

    • Anonynonynonynon

      32, nope, and yes, but only the federal ones (~$18K) no private ones, and I had finished paying them off about two years before.

    • Anonymous

      I’m 30 and we just bought our first home. We were moving from a very high cost of living area with BigLaw incomes to a very low cost of living area where a very nice single family home is $300-400K, so we had way more than a 20% downpayment saved, but we ended up getting in a bidding war (the market is extremely competitive for the best school district in our new town), so my parents loaned us money so we could make an all-cash offer. We paid my parents all of it back right after getting a mortgage. In the HCOL area where we lived before moving, even townhouse are in the $1 million+ range and so parental help with the downpayment is super common.
      My H had no student loans (parents paid for college and then a grad degree in the sciences with a stipend) and I had about $25K from law school (the rest was a combination of scholarship, summer earnings and some parental help). I paid off my loans within a couple years of graduating law school, well before we bought the house.

    • Meg Murry

      24
      Sort of. My parents contributed to a Roth IRA in my name when I was in college, and we used part of that under the no penalty for first time home buyers withdrawal
      Yes had student loans, but only around 30k each for H and I (no law school or anything like that)

      For relevant points:
      -we live in a low COL area, and bought a fixer-upper as a first house, so it was pretty cheap
      -my parents also gave us a gift for the down payment on our latest house, because it was an amazing deal on the kind of house we were saving to buy in 5-10 years
      -my parents were gifted the down payment for their own house when my grandmother sold her farm property
      -my parents also gave my sister the same type of assistance for a down payment, and may buy a place for her and the then rent-to-own it to her
      -my parents are in no way rich – they invested well and we live in an area with lower priced housing (and a lot of property where values went through the floor during the crash)

      • Wildkitten

        Do parents contribute to a Roth through a back door conversion for this? Can you do that? I am confused as to why people would contribute to a Roth in someone else’s name, if they are too wealthy for the tax benefits. I know that, if I have kids, my mom should do the 529 for them so it doesn’t count against the FAFSA, but I’m not familiar wit the child-Roth-thing.

    • Anonymous

      I was 26, no help, but I did live with my parents for a little while for free to help save up a down payment. I paid my student loans off at the same time, before buying.

    • padi

      I was 30 when I bought my first house. No help from my parents, but 2 years later when a remodel project hit yet another snag, my father did lend me $4k. I paid him back a few months later.

      My dad had offered to lend me the down payment and he did lend my brother some money for his first condo. He doesn’t have enough to outright gift it but doesn’t charge interest if we pay him back quickly. Knowing what I know now, it was stupid not to take that money and buy a better first house.

      I had paid off my higher interest student loans just over a year before buying the house. I still had/have about $40k in student loans at <2% on a 30 year repayment plan. So I am not rushing to pay those off.

      In some respects, I regret buying so early. I had a boyfriend and was planning on the whole get married and raise a family but, in all truthfulness, I had known even then that the relationship wasn't going to last long. If I was 100% honest with myself, I would have waited to buy until after I left that relationship and had more figured out.

    • DCR

      I bought my home just over a month before my 30th birthday. I liked the idea of buying before my birthday – but not enough that I would have settled on the house.

      I had (and still have) six figures of law school debt. I graduated during the downturn, didn’t get into any of the government honors programs I applied for, and went to biglaw. Because I hoped to leave early for government, I focused on saving figuring that I could qualify for public interest repayment if necessary. By the point I bought, I had enough saved for either a downpayment or to pay off 75% of my loans. I decided to buy a house – I wanted to lock in my housing costs, which were going to go up significantly when I was forced to move from the co-op I was renting; I bought based on a budget of what my post biglaw salary will be; I love having more space for only a few hundred more a month; and I’m in a redeveloping area with raising costs and wouldn’t have been able to purchase if I paid off my loans and then saved for the downpayment.

      My parents didn’t give me money for the downpayment. But my mom did help me out with a very short term no interest loan. I just had enough for 20% down, but didn’t want to have only few thousand in the bank. So, my mom loaned me 10,000 that I paid back in four monthly payments. I didn’t need it necessarily (and would not have done it without a relatively secure job), but it made me feel better and I know that if something had happened the loan repayment terms could be extended (and where extended by a month when my cat had a massive vet bill). I consider myself likely for that – my mom doesn’t have enough to give me money, but is willing to loan me money when necessary for the short term.

      • DCR

        Having read the article you linked, I want to add that my parents didn’t give me any money for school either. I have no debt from undergrad (a combination of need-based scholarships and working practically full time as an undergrad) and paid for law school with a loans and a small scholarship.

        As opposed to those the article is describing, my “luck” came by working in biglaw.

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      35, no family help with the house, and still have plenty of student loans. We managed to buy because I got some bonuses from my biglaw job. It was really hard.

    • Bankratty

      -27
      -my in-laws gave is $10,000 so we could buy a larger place; we had enough to buy a smaller place on our own, however
      -yes, about $40,000

    • CountC

      29 (6 yrs ago)
      Yes, $2k I think?
      Yes and still do. 6 figs worth

      My house is in a LCOL area.

    • Curly Sue

      Just bought in the last few months.

      I’m 28, and bought all by myself. No help from parents/live-in boyfriend, though we’re splitting some of the furniture purchases. I had undergrad and law school loans, but paid off law school last year.

      Literally none of this would have been possible without BigLaw and really, really aggressive savings.

    • anony

      28

      I married into the “funnel of privilege.” Our downpayment (80k) came from money my husband’s parents had in a Roth IRA in his name.

      Neither of us had loans from undergrad (both went in-state to state school). Husband’s parents paid for his med school (yeah, they have a lot of cash). I had 80k in law school loans, also in-state at state school. I paid aggressively my first year working and we put most of the cash we got as wedding gifts towards the loan, leaving a balance of 60k. My in-laws paid off the rest.

      I felt really guilty/embarrassed about the amount of help we got from my in-laws, especially in the beginning. I never asked for or expected any of it, because my family doesn’t work that way and doesn’t have the cash to anyway. But I’m at peace with it now. We live in a high COL area and I try to be honest with people that my in-laws helped with our down payment, because I don’t want people to be impressed at how we could afford to buy in this area so soon. I think it would be dishonest to imply that we did it without help.

  12. Anna

    I have gained almost 10 pounds in one week. Both numbers taken by the same scale at my doctor’s office. Last week I was 116 and this morning I was 125.7. The last number is a number that I haven’t seen in many years – like 20 years ago when I still had some baby fat and no exercise in my life.

    You guys, I am freaking out. In the last month, my cycle has been totally irregular too. My mid-section feels bloated. I’ve getting various tests done but so far there are no material findings. Each follow-up is like a week later and I’m just worried that something inside me is going to burst or something before the doctors find the cause…:(

    • Wildkitten

      My weight fluctuates like 5 lbs in a normal day – so I could easily change 10 lbs in a week if I had the flu for the first one and ate a big meal for the second. Drink a lot of water and don’t eat any salt.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      This happened to me when I had a bad reaction to a new birth control pill I tried. Have you done anything funky with your birth control recently? If you said your cycle has been off, it is very likely hormones.

    • Wildkitten

      I want to not get caught up in my own. I think Meditation is what might work.

    • NYNY

      This is a tip a massage therapist gave me once: When you are talking to someone and feel their energy taking over, press on yourself a little, physically, to remind your body that this is you, and the negativity is the other person. If you’re sitting, it’s easiest to push your palms down on the tops of you thighs, for example. Sounds crazy, but it works for me.

  14. Wildkitten

    I’ve been thinking about the folks who asked about Charity donations and how to divvy up mine. I said before, I want to donate 10% of my income,

    I know donating to international charities (mosquito nets in Africa) is more valuable than donating to my Alma Mater (huge endowment). Thats easy to know.

    How do you decide if to give 50% to mosquito nets, and 25% to legal domestic violence charities, or 25% to mosquito nets and 50% to DC? Mosquito nets saves more lives, but DV lets women here get the political capital to make sure DV doesn’t happen again. I think both are valuable.

    • espresso bean

      Are you familiar with Give Well? They specialize in this kind of thing — assessing which donations and charities will provide the most value for your dollar. It’s eye-opening and might be helpful with your questions.

    • Anon

      Depending on what you do or want to do, you may want to be business strategic with some of your donations. For example, my husband and I donate to legal aid type groups in our practice areas and go to networking events, and our local symphony’s young patrons also for networking. No it’s not altruistic in the same way as supporting an international aid org, but it’s career useful. And it doesn’t need to be all of your giving.

  15. D

    Went to a Boden sample sale this morning that was just down the road from me. There were no crowds and really no line at all. And lots of great stuff. I came away with 2 great coats (a hooded raincoat and duffle coat), 3 dresses (one with 3/4 sleeves) and a sleeveless eyelet top for a grand total of $240! Yay!

  16. Intern in SF

    I am an undergraduate business student interning with a tech company in SF. I have been working there for a month now and I have questions regarding etiquette. The level of formality varies hugely with some people coming in sweats and others in dresses and heels. As an intern, my first instinct is to dress in business casual but often times I am way overdressed than my (male) manager and sometimes the VP’s who wears a tshirt and sneakers everyday. I usually wear a nice blouse, nice jeans and a cardigan since its is cold. I personally feel uncomfortable arriving in the office in anything less than business casual, any ideas or tips?

    • Wildkitten

      It sounds like you’re doing the right things. If you still feel overdressed you could wear nice t shirts or nice sandals. I would never wear shorts to work and men in tech tend to think all skirts and dresses are dressed up.

    • Florence

      I would just embrace that you’ll sometimes be more “dressed up” than your superiors. You definitely don’t want to be the one who is underdressed. Your outfit sounds perfect for casual office wear – I would feel uncomfortable wearing sneakers/sweats in a professional setting even if others wore them. Heck, I usually don’t leave the house in sweats if I’m doing anything more than walking the dog or making a quick run to the store.

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