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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. Whether you're celebrating Pride Month, or just love rainbows, these boots look perfect — I love the neutral topper with the colorful, happy base and teensy wedge. Nordstrom actually has a ton of great Pride-friendly clothes, including these subtle athletic shorts, these fun sunglasses, or this bold belt. The pictured boots are really highly rated, and as I've noted before they look like a great update to the traditional knee-high style. The pictured boots are $100; other solid colors are $95. (Also super cute? These rainbow wedges from Boden. I'm trying to find the other discussions readers have had for what to wear for Pride events; there have been some great links shared recently.) Happy weekend, all! This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
BabyAssociate
Ottawa ‘rettes: a dear friend is being called to the bar soon. I unfortunately can’t make it, but I’d really like to send her something. I’m thinking a consumable (champagne, chocolate, cheese, etc.). Any local recommendations?
Anonymous
Thyme & Again is a great local shop that does artisan cheese gift baskets.
Skipper
Vicarious shopping, please! Someone mentioned in the morning comments that she wears closed-toe sandals. I would love a pair! Does anyone have any suggestions?
Rainbow Hair
The Aubrey sandal by Rockport Cobb Hill is the best thing ever. I have worn mine into the ground — I should really replace them.
Skipper
I love those. Thanks very much.
Anon
+1… I have these and love them.
Ariadne
I wear the naot rongo in a gold colour— I have foot issues and this shoe really works. I had to get used to wearing this as it’s more substantial than a delicate shoe, but my feet rarely hurt as a result.
Anon
I’m looking for a new tankini, and having problems finding one with enough support. I’m a 36DDD. Any recommendations from other large chested people?
Pompom
If you haven’t already, check out the bra-sized swimwear from brands like Freya, Panache, Fantasie, etc. (UK brands) on her room dot com, fig leaves dot com, bare necessities dot com. Once you see them in an easily searchable format like that, you can always search and find on the river site.
Anonymous
Figleaves store brand stuff is good too, and really affordable comparatively. Just pay attention to UK sizing.
NOLA
I’m a 34DDD and I found two tankini tops that worked at Target. One was a bra-sized top, marked as a 34D, but it definitely worked for me.
Anonymous
Lands’ End, Bravissimo. I feel like years ago Delia’s was good for DD+ swimwear so I just looked and… wow… no. It’s like music video pool party swimwear.
Miss
The only one that works for me is Profile by Gottex. Buy the cup sized swimsuits. They usually have an underwire bra in them. I have been buying them for years and they’re the only swimsuit that supports the girls, looks good, and is high quality. I tried Freya and Fantasie and other cup sized swimwear and it was either dowdy or the material was too thin and unflattering.
Ms B
Late to respond, but Torrid as long as you otherwise are a size 10-12 or up. For reals.
Moving from CA
Currently, my husband and I live in California. We both work for ourselves at this point and would like to move somewhere with a lower cost of living in a later time zone (I’m a stock trader and my mornings are pretty rough because I start trading at 6:30). Would love recommendations for places to move that have good healthcare options and are likely to have a state provided option if we lose ACA (both of us are uninsurable and do not get health insurance through work – we rely on ACA), lower cost of living than CA, not high altitude (I have a medical condition that is exacerbated by altitude) and ideally does not have an abortion ban. I have never lived somewhere with snow and would also love to hear about your experiences with snow. Are there things you like about living somewhere with snow? We are in our mid thirties and do not have children, so school districts are not a consideration. We do really like good food and theater, movies, etc. I’m a sucker for a cute downtown with small businesses. Thanks, everyone!
Anonymous
Michigan
Anon
I would say Portland Maine but I think the weather thing would obviously be huge and I wouldn’t recommend moving there until you have a better sense of how you to deal with snow. Warm weather and reliably blue states aren’t very compatible though, except for the West Coast (and Hawaii which is even further the wrong way).
Kelly
move to Minneapolis! Excellent place to live, fantastic food and theater scene. and it’s in the middle of the country so time zones aren’t really an issue.
Moving from CA
I love the idea of Minneapolis! How do you feel about the health insurance exchange there? Do state politics lean towards helping people who need insurance? Thanks!
Anonymous
MN has a decent health insurance exchange and politics do indeed favor insurance coverage for otherwise uninsurable individuals. MN has horrible tax laws (but good schools, and government services). MN’s cost of living is also increasing quite rapidly (not nearly as high as costal areas, but still rather high), which includes all of the taxes. I work in all US time zones and find it convenient from that perspective.
Moving from CA
Thank you so much! This is very helpful.
Minnesota Transplant
I moved to Minneapolis 10 years ago and I agree it’s a great place to live. Great health care options, solid infrastructure and schools. Lots to do here including theater and the arts; sports; outdoorsy activities; great restaurants. Moderate cost of living and high taxes but it seems like they are put to good use.
Another great location is Madison, WI. If you take all the great things about Minneapolis and put it into a smaller city it would be Madison.
Anon
I haven’t lived there myself, but I’ve heard others recommend North Carolina as a great low COL place that meets your criteria. Hopefully they don’t ever get an abortion ban in place. I’d also consider Chicago. Another California person looking to move myself, although I’m looking for mountains and altitude and I love snow.
Anonymous
It’s pretty conservative there and a lot of anti-abortion sentiment. I have relatives an hour outside Raleigh who are looking to leave.
Anon
Yeah Raleigh is a blue bubble but the state overall is still quite conservative. I can’t imagine them offering public health insurance if Obamacare is repealed.
Nashville
Except for the healthcare thing/maybe a potential ban coming.
But the core is really blue.
Anon
Maryland!
Anon Lawyer
Honestly, if you’re willing to compromise on timezone, I’d move to Portland. All the Californians are doing it.
Anon
Portland has such a huge housing and homeless crisis right now that I crossed it off my list (I’m Anon at 3:02). I’m leaving SF for those reasons, not trying to find them elsewhere. However, I have heard that Portland is super fun and beautiful so it could be a good destination if you’re not crunched for cash.
Anon Lawyer
Hmm, it’s definitely an issue but NOTHING like SF, in my experience. And very location-dependent. It doesn’t sound like the OP would be commuting downtown, and it’s basically a non-issue in most of the neighborhoods I spend time in.
Anon
My best friend lives in Portland I live in the Bay Area. SF is a lot worse than Portland. There is homelessness in Portland but it’s more limited and housing is way more affordable overall.
Anon
Housing in PDX is probably way CHEAPER overall but it’s not more affordable because wages are SO much lower here than any other major city.
Also I have no idea what you all are talking about with the homelessness not being that bad there are tents EVERYWHERE they have started putting giant BOULDERS on all the corners because they can’t get people to stop putting tents literally everywhere.
Anonymous
I’ve lived in SF (5years) and currently live in PDX (2 years). Homelessness is a problem here but nowhere near as bad as the bay. There’s still property crime but also nowhere near as bad as the bay. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a big city without those issues (also lived in DC, Boston and hail from Chicago). If I didn’t have to commute to downtown, I’d live in the surrounding area like McMinnville, Newberg, or more in the gorge like in hood river. And honestly Oregon City is now cool. Those places are within a 2 hoir drive of the city proper and are lower COL and very cute
Anonymous
I live in Portland and would agree. You won’t get any time zone benefits but it’s got many of the amenities you like at lower COL. If you don’t need to be in the city proper there are tons of cute towns within a few hours drive of Portland too. If you want a time zone benefit, id look into Denvers burbs. Or honestly where all the portlanders are moving is Boise, ID.
blueberries
Didn’t Massachusetts have something akin to the ACA before the ACA? Boston is cheaper than the Bay Area, but for even better COL, maybe Western Mass.
Vermont
Minnesota
Diana Barry
Definitely western MA, maybe Northampton? Cute college town and liberal culture but much lower COL than Boston area.
Anonymous
Boston?
NH Anon
New Hampshire! In you live in the Manchester/Concord area, everything is an hour away. 1 hour to the beach, white mountains, Boston, Vermont, Portsmouth. 1.5 to Portland Maine. Perfect starting point for lots of amazing day trips. No income tax. There is a bit of a gun culture here though. You are not required to carry concealed here so you may see people at the grocery store wearing a piece.
Anonymous
New Hampshire is extremely white and not that liberal… I lived there for an internship during college and felt very uncomfortable as a minority.
Worry about yourself
So I live in Boston, and I love it, but the snow can be . . . a lot. Especially for newbies. People move here thinking it’s gonna be white and sparkling, the snowflakes gently falling from the sky and swirling around you and everything is magical and sometimes it be like that, but even when the snowfall is pretty, it eventually gets slushy and dirty and gross. And sometimes it falls hard and fast and it’s dangerous to drive, and you can’t find a place to park, and it’s awful.
But I’ve lived here all my life and I have no plans to move. Winter trips to warm climates should probably become a priority for my boyfriend and I, but we love it here.
If you move here, get a warm winter coat, waterproof snowboots, and a shovel before you need one! And when interviewing, find out the expectations when the snow is bad – do people generally work from home as a precaution, or are you expected to go in unless there’s a state of emergency and the T is shut down? Most offices are cool with people working remotely when it’s supposed to be nasty out, but you definitely want to know for sure ahead of time.
Also, fall and spring are gorgeous, but short. It tends to get really cold in late October or early November, and then we get some unseasonably warm days but for the most part it’s super cold until mid-late April. I wore a winter coat in early May. I was so mad about it.
If you’re a sucker for a cute downtown, Boston might not be your jam, but maybe Salem, MA or Portsmouth, NH would be nice.
new englander
City snow is gross. Country snow (close to mountains, ice skating, snow shoeing, cross country skiing, etc.) is fun.
Vermont or New Hampshire.
Vermont is way more liberal than New Hampshire and has correspondingly higher taxes. As the home of Bernie Sanders, there is a bit of a bias against reaping the rewards of the hard and intellectually difficult work that some people provide (example: there was generalized outraged about a nationally-regarded and extremely hard working physician pulling in high-six figures a while back) which personally drives me nuts, but it has other values that are really positive, like a focus on environmentalism, access to healthcare, etc. Also, people who flex their wealth and act real fancy are… unusual. It is the perfect place if you want to live quietly and comfortably.
Other downsides: New England can suck for seasonal affective disorder. Neither of those states are diverse.
Anemone
I suggest avoiding places right on the freeze/thaw line, like where I am (Philly). If you don’t mind cold, go truly north. Around here it’s a constant see-saw of 28-34 degrees, and we get tons of dangerous sleet and ice, plus the potholes have 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.
Moving from CA
Thanks for all the replies! You have given me a lot to think about. Maybe I would rather get up early than deal with snow!
CecilyC
If health insurance is your main concern, Massachusetts, New Jersey, DC and Vermont will maintain an individual mandate which will stabilize their state insurance markets. I too live in the Bay Area and other areas further east that are appealing to me are Asheville, NC and Charlottesville, VA.
Leatty
How often do you change up the decor in your house? Paint colors, rugs, duvet covers, curtains, etc.
Anon
Not often. Duvet cover, yes, because we have to wash it, but not much for anything else. We finally got new blinds when we replaced our windows and that’s after 10+ years of living in the house.
Ellen
I had a beautiful duvet cover a few years ago, but my ex vomited all over it and I was forced to have my cleaning lady try and launder it, but she could not do it, and I told her to keep it. This is why boyfriends can be such losers!
BeenThatGuy
I might be crazy for admitting this, but I do it every 4-5 years. For context, my main floor base colors are gray and cream. Currently my accent color is orange (actually more of a paprika color). The accent color is on pillows, curtains and throw rugs and pottery pieces. Before paprika, it was yellow tones. When I do it again in a few years, I’ll probably swap the paprika for a bright teal blue.
anon
If you’re someone who likes change, I think this is the way to go. Neutral base, but switch up the accent colors every few years.
We’ve been in our house for 8 years now and while I still *like* our paint colors and think I chose well, I totally have the itch to repaint. I tend to be more of a “switch up the accessories seasonally” sort of decorator, while leaving the main stuff alone for years. It scratches my itch for change without requiring a whole lot of investment.
Keek
Very rarely. This is largely because my/our style is informed by really classic American interior designers (Charlotte Moss, Bunny Williams, Gil Schafer, Phoebe Howard), so I don’t really like trends for home design. My house is all white walls and will stay that way until we leave. Instead of doing a full switch of rugs, curtains, furniture, lighting, etc. I think of it as constantly evolving. That’s also because most of the home decor elements I like are not cheap so I tend to spend $$ and buy things to have for a while.
Right now, I’m trying to figure out a fabric to refresh the sofa pillows in one room and floating reupholstering the sofa in another. Art gets allocated to new places or sold if I find something new that I love. Ultimately, things stay in the white/blue/natural wood tones/sisal range, but things slowly change over time.
Anon
I would also say mine is constantly evolving. I will get new things here and there, but I wouldn’t ever start from scratch. Mostly because I want my home to look like it’s actually lived in, with an authentic style, and not something copied from Pinterest.
Keek
Definitely! Authenticity is important to me, so I don’t buy wood veneer or really any upholstery from big-box stores. I also spend a lot of money on things like high-quality curtains, but they’ve made multiple moves and go a long way in making a space look lived-in.
This is a subject I’m super passionate about especially as I moved to a state where people seem to love sofas with cupholders and painting everything grey :(
Rainbow Hair
Wow this is so interesting because I never do it consciously, but also it’s constantly changing. Like, until a month ago we had more neutral colors in our living room, but because [blah blah not interesting] we switched some things around, bought/moved back into the living room some orangey/red art, bought a brick red armchair and put the orange sofa back in the living room, and so we’ve gone back to a pretty explicit MCM look with an orangey pallet. But it wasn’t an intentional “let’s change the style of this room” — more just a natural evolution. Similarly, I guess in my bedroom the curtains look good with the duvet, and I put in a rug we already had that brought out the same colors… but if/when the duvet bites the dust, I’ll probably buy another one that coordinates with the curtains, and it’ll keep evolving.
I assumed everyone did it this way, but now that I think about it, probably lots of folks don’t have the same turnover as we do. Our stuff cycles more quickly because we have a kid and two cats, so we don’t buy “investment” furniture or decor (except wall art, which is still not expensive, but I treat it as a forever thing) because everything will be destroyed in the foreseeable future.
Leatty
We have two cats and a kid, too, so we expect that some (most?) things will be destroyed. We’re definitely not investing in expensive furniture/decoration now, but I have considered changing up the wall colors (medium blueish-gray) and accent colors in our living area and master bedroom now that we have darker floors. Most stuff takes too much effort (which is why we have a room for the cats/occasional guests that has hand-me-downs, no decor, and our old bedroom furniture). I’ll probably keep it that way unless/until we have another kid, but the main living area and our bedroom could use an overhaul to brighten up the space after only 4 years.
Anonymous
Very rarely. We might add a painting or move one from place to place but once a room has been decorated we generally stick with it.
Skipper
Oh, God. Literally never. I deeply detest every single thing to do with homemaking. Sometimes we bring home new art or something. But mostly things stay as they are, plus or minus a few replacement for things that are damaged or worn. My sister tells me we need to paint, so I’ll probably let her pick out a color and I’ll hire someone this summer. We have kind of a classic style and depend on our plainspoken nearest and dearest to tell us when something’s too passe.
Anon
This is me, too. I also don’t like a lot of knick-knacks or other stuff sitting around, so I get good furniture and a few things I like and leave well enough alone.
Anon
Almost never. Most of our furniture is either Ikea or inherited and it’s perfectly good. I am trying to consume less (to benefit the environment and my own wallet) and I am used to wearing things into the ground before replacing them.
anon
We bought our house 7 years ago and have gradually furnished it. We haven’t “re-done” anything in that time, other than a small kitchen reno and painting everything. We mostly buy antique and vintage furniture, so it doesn’t get dated and it’s extremely well made and is going strong years later. It’s just now getting to the point where I’m considering repainting some of the rooms I painted when we first moved in. I may replace the throw pillows on the couch at some point, but we haven’t gotten there yet. I try to be eco friendly and not buy cheap crap that I’ll have to throw in a landfill in 2 years.
Anonymous
Paint: almost never. In 10 years, I’ve only changed one room
Rugs: when the pets ruin them
Art: I usually add one or two pieces a year
Furniture: only when it is beyond it’s useful life.
Decor items: A sprinkling over ten years. One new duvet cover, a few new pillows, some arts festival items.
Anemone
We bought the house in 2004 and have painted less than half of it, even though I hate the colors (DH does not get a say in color choices, per his protanopia). Our pets are blurry balls of destruction, so even though I love the idea of redoing everything to my taste, it feels like a waste of time and money.
MagicUnicorn
I swap out the down comforter for the woven cotton blanket every spring & fall. Does that count?
Anonymous
About every 10 years. In between, I do nice thing every year to keep things changing. But about every 10, it can use some professional assistance, and we use a designer to help pick paint and track down pieces we can’t get because they are to the trade. I have been waiting until the next downturn to redo the kitchen, which is about 20 years old, and will likely do a few additional fixes then.
Paris Food Tour?
Any food tour recs for Paris? I’ll be going solo, so looking for ways to have human interaction. Thinking somewhere in the 4th, 5th, or 6th but willing to go farther (Montmartre?) if it’s amazing.
Anon
We did a tour with Paris by Mouth, and it was amazing. They do them in different neighborhoods, including the 4th, 5th, and 6th. We did ours in the Latin Quarter. I would recommend doing it in whatever area is closest to your hotel so that you can stop by the sweet shops, etc. on the other says you are there.
OP
Thanks! I’m staying in the 6th and can easily wander off to 5th and 4th since they are so close by.
Senior Attorney
+1 to Paris By Mouth. We also did their cheese tasting class and it was fabulous.
clothing budgets
As we approach the middle of the year, I’m curious to hear how all of you are doing on clothing spending. For those of you who planned a year of no shopping, how has that been?
Here’s my tally:
Spent so far: $1,300 (~$250/month)
Target for remainder of year: same budget (~$250/month). Hopefully I can stay lower, because there’s not too much that I need.
Best purchase: Gauzy white top by Xirena. Barely worn yet but just seeing and touching it in my closet brings high levels of joy.
Worst purchase: Nothing regrettable yet…
Abby
My no-shopping so far: I bought a navy blazer & lilac floral shell from Ann Taylor, but used store credit so I didn’t count that. I ordered a white pencil skirt from JCrew that’s in the mail that I will keep if it fits well because I’ve wanted one for over a year now.
I bought several things and returned them: the JCPenney skirt a ‘rette here recommended a few weeks ago, didn’t fit as well as I’d like, some super sale blazers from Loft that I will also return because of the fit and I don’t truly NEED them.
Overall I think it’s been going pretty well and I don’t feel deprived. I kon-mari-ed my closet and have kept up the folding, but moved my winter clothes into storage.
Vicky Austin
I’ll play! I have been trying to keep my clothes shopping to a minimum, but here’s what’s happened so far:
-Spent about $150 in January, including a gorgeous red knit bathrobe from Talbots that I got on supersale and absolutely adore. That’s probably my best purchase tbh.
-Spent another $200 some in May on springy staples from Old Navy and Uniqlo, including new work pants from ON that I saw recommended here but didn’t end up liking as much as I thought I would. I think the style is called the Everyday Khaki, and while I was looking for work pants that were skinny cut, they are a lot more casual than I was expecting, and they get so scrunched up on my legs that they feel downright unflattering, so I’m planning to donate them. And lo the sad saga of trying to find budget work pants that don’t suck continues. (Most of the rest of those purchases were smash hits though.)
-Just bought a pair of navy Sam Edelman flats at the Rack that I’m really excited about.
MomOfAHappyOldBeagle
I have tried every kind of work pants and if you can get them on sale or don’t mind spending over $100, NYDJ ponte trousers are great. At least they worked for me!
UHU
Linen $250 (4 tops, two trousers)
Jeans $80
Shoes $300 (4 pairs, summer/spring)
Socks $20
Total: $650
I don’t foresee getting anything else until it gets cold, then I’ll reassess my needs.
NOLA
Oh Lord, I don’t even want to think about it. I’ve had to replace my wardrobe 2-3 times in the past year. At this point, I have enough and need to stop.
Best purchase: probably my light turquoise faux leather jacket. It was perfect this spring. Followed by a fun pink tweed jacket/cardigan that I now have in two sizes and goes great with skirts or jeans.
Worst: not sure. I kept a couple things that I should have sent back (didn’t really fit well) and I have prematurely bought clothes in a size that I thought I would stay at, but didn’t.
Anonymous
I’ve done an accidental year of no shopping…I’m fairly sure I haven’t bought clothes for myself since last fall. However, it’s sort of cheating because I had a baby in early 2018 and spent a lot of money that spring and summer buying new clothes for my postpartum/nursing body.
AN
I’ve spent about $10 k to date but much of that is replenishing my sari and salwar suit wardrobe which I haven’t done for years. And replacing my weekend clothes. I won’t be doing much more for the rest of the year.
Irish Midori
Hardly anything (kind of by accident). I started the year with a KonMari of my closet, which kept me from adding to it for a couple months, then I did a clothes buying fast for Lent, and then at Easter learned I was (surprise!) pregnant, and so there’s little point in buying clothes now because my size needs are about to go bonkers. I guess I’ll have to start picking up some maternity items soon, but I have a similarly-sized coworker/friend who just went through this and promised me her maternity wardrobe, so I’m hoping I can just dump my clothing budget into my “oh gosh maybe I shouldn’t have gotten rid of all my baby stuff yet” budget.
Anonymous
I didn’t do no shopping, instead I made a list of categories off limits— I have plenty of jackets, sheath dresses and athletic wear. I did really well not buying in those categories until one brand I really like announced bankruptcy and another changed designer, so I did a shop of the last chance items and snagged two jackets.
Anonymous
L K Bennett in US?
Anonymous
Yes, and Kate Spade went 70s, which isn’t my vibe.
LawyerAnon
For work, I have to take a trip to a very rural part of the Dakotas and in order to get to where I’m doing a site visit, I will be driving about 3-4 hours through what I’ve been advised is mostly wilderness. Since I will be traveling alone, are there any safety precautions you would suggest? Also, if anyone is familiar with this part of the country, any suggestions for someone traveling alone?
Anonymous
Yes, been there done that. I’d suggest you keep your gas tank full and bring an external battery pack for your cell phone. You won’t have cell service in some areas, or it’ll be weak, and that kills your battery. From experience, your car charger won’t be able to keep up. Make sure your rental car has built in GPS. Also, buy water/snacks when you land (I went by a Dollar Tree) as stores in more remote areas will be expensive. Have fun! The Dakotas are beautiful. I’ve driven from Denver to Rapid City, SD, and Rapid to New Town, ND.
Anon
How’s cell phone coverage? I’d consider a satellite phone if coverage isn’t good in the event of car trouble or an emergency. Likewise, have a standard car emergency kit (food, water, whatever you need to keep you comfortable in the climate, flares/triangle, flashlight, probably stuff I’m forgetting) and the number of roadside assistance that will help you in that location.
anon
Know where you can stop for a bathroom break and gas. Keep a physical roadmap in your car. Definitely keep the gas tank at least half-full. Make sure someone knows your travel plans and roughly when you expect to be halfway there, arrive, etc. Do whatever you need to do in order to stay alert — sometimes, that can be the hardest part of rural driving!
Enjoy the drive; the Dakotas are pretty.
Anon
Go back to the basics – leave a detailed itinerary with family and friends with instructions to call emergency services if you don’t check in by a certain time.
Anon
If rural as in woods, you have natures bathroom right there. If rural as in mountains, you might want to pack a way to “go” in your car if that could be an issue for you. You can buy Biddie Bags that are used for rural hiking online. For number 1, I’ve just used a wide mouth bottle in a pinch. A lined trash can can work for number 2 in a pinch. Gross, but better than going in your pants or mooning passers by on the road if there is really nowhere to go and no woods.
Vicky Austin
Haha, at least in my part of state-that-ends-in-Dakota, we do not have woods. Sorry OP!
Anonymous
Is this really necessary? Like it’s only a 3-4 hour drive so she probably won’t need to stop and it’s unlikely that there isn’t even a gas station or small town once in 4 hours.
Anon
Depends on the person and on the day. I envy those of you that don’t have to worry about it.
Anonymous
Kitestring app? On the off chance your car breaks down bring extra water and something for sun coverage (umbrella? those front windshield covers?). Flares too maybe. Are you renting a car or driving your own?
Anonymous
I used to make that type of drive often. I would not drink any water – so that I didn’t have to stop. If I do stop, restrooms at McDonalds are usually cleaner than gas stations. I do not recommend driving through areas where the local or state police do not have jurisdiction, if you can at all help it. Bring extra food and water and you will be fine. Bring a paper printed route map in case your phone doesn’t work.
anon
If you are driving is the upcoming summer months, I assume, bring a gallon or two of water, not just a little (professional) bottle. And don’t let your car overheat.
Walnut
If you have Verizon, you’ll have solid cell phone coverage in North and South Dakota. Plan as you would for any road trip and you’ll be fine. Also, I-90 through South Dakota has an 80 mph speed limit, so you’ll make good time if you’re on it.
If you post what particular region you’ll be in, I can give specific recommendations.
LawyerAnon
OP here. Thank you! I will be in the vicinity of Britton and Sisseton, SD, if that helps.
Anonymous
It’s been a long week and going to be an even longer weekend (memorial service for a dear friend’s child). Tell me something happy or good news you’ve had recently.
Anon
Oh my goodness, how devastating. So sorry for your loss.
Rainbow Hair
I am so, so sorry for your loss and your friend’s loss.
Vicky Austin
Gosh that’s sad. Peace and strength to you as you are there for your friend.
A coworker’s home burned down last night, but in the good news department, there’s an empty apartment nearby for them to move into, a local church has offered to cover their rent while they’re there, and a bunch of us are going over there tonight to make the place homey. So good things are still happening in the world.
Calico
I found this so uplifting:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/06/07/theme-park-employee-lay-down-ground-next-an-autistic-boy-having-meltdown-her-act-solidarity-went-viral/?utm_term=.5ca3876a33e1
Senior Attorney
I’m so sorry for your loss!
I was actually coming here to start a “good news” thread because my sweet husband finally got back on the bike yesterday after being on injured reserve for 32.5 weeks because he flew over the handlebars and cracked his skull way back in October. He is so happy and so am I!
NOLA
Oh wow! I didn’t know that that happened. Glad he’s okay!
Ellen
Don’t worry. It will be over soon. Hang in there!
Egg Reserve Test
Married, in “biglaw” in SEUS city (bill a lot, but people are fairly reasonable). Babies not currently in the plans, but foresee probably trying later. One of those people who doesn’t want to raise kids, but love the idea of a full house once they’re older. I’m very curious about the egg reserve test? I recently had my annual check-up and the midwife suggested that it could be something I could do to assuage concerns (for background, been on the pill since 18 and never had regular cycles) and questions. We discussed how we can’t control what happens, but I worry about getting to five years down the road to my mid-thirties and feeling like I could have done something back then (i.e., now).
I’ve read it may not be super accurate? Any thoughts? Did you get one? Would you recommend it?
Anon Lawyer
My anecdotal evidence is that it’s not super accurate except for predicting how you’ll react to fertility drugs, especially IVF (and even then, there are outliers). Lots of people have perfectly good numbers and trouble getting pregnant and others have bad numbers and get pregnant really quickly. There’s a lot of luck involved and also a lot of factors we don’t currently understand.
Also, your numbers could be good now but then could decline drastically – I don’t think they decline linearally for most women. So honestly, I probably wouldn’t do it personally.
Anon
+1 to all of this. Also, as you probably know, the number one predictor of both egg quality and quantity is almost always age. So if you are 40 and have good ovarian reserve, that is helpful for IVF but by no means a guarantee that you will get pregnant easily. OTOH if you are 25 and have low ovarian reserve, you very well might still be able to get pregnant fairly easily because the eggs you have are probably high quality. If you want to delay childbearing for the longer term, you may want to freeze embryos so you can transfer them when ready (although even that is no guarantee of a baby, but it gives you a good shot depending on your age and number of embryos.)
Dagmar
I realize this is a late response, but hopefully you’ll see it.
My midwife tested my ovarian reserve when we began to TTC. I didn’t ask her to do this and didn’t know that it was part of her standard testing for women in my age range until she called me with the results.
My AMH level was .4 (according to my midwife the low end of normal for my age — 38 — was 1.0). When my midwife relayed this news she explained some interventions we could try and she encouraged me to read up on donor eggs and get comfortable with the idea of using them.
She said I could try to conceive without help but she didn’t recommend trying for longer than three months before we started seeking assistance, due to my low levels and advanced age.
I completely freaked out and did a bunch of internet research. Articles like this gave me hope:
https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/ovarian-reserve-tests-fail-predict-fertility-nih-funded-study-suggests
I got pregnant the second month we tried, had an easy pregnancy, and now have a healthy baby. I’m not a baby person, though I do love my kiddo, and I look forward to having an older kiddo (going for hikes! drawing pictures! playing cops and robbers!). I don’t want a big family so we’re almost definitely stopping with just the one kid.
I like data so I guess I’m glad I have the information about my ovarian reserve, though I did get super stressed about it. Had I gotten tested earlier I probably would’ve felt pressure to get pregnant sooner, which would have been more logistically difficult than waiting til we did…
tl; dr Consider how you’ll react to news of low ovarian reserve and incorporate that into your decision whether to get tested.
Semantics
I’ve been thinking about a semantics issue that bothers me, but I can’t quite put my finger on why. I don’t like it when people say they’re going to “do” a location on vacation. Such as, “I want to do Thailand next year.” Or, “We did Banff last summer.”
Note: I never, ever say this to anyone who uses the phrase because I don’t think that arguments about usage are generally productive or interesting or kind. And I know there are bigger problems in this world. I’m just bored this afternoon and trying to decide why it bugs me. Does this bother anyone else, and can you articulate why?
LAnon
It bugs me, I think because it implies that these places are just a binary thing to check off a list – if you’ve been there, you’ve “done” it, which somehow implies that you experienced everything there worth experiencing. The part that is harder to articulate is that it also somehow makes the places seem less real or devalues them. Like it was just an Epcot-y experience, not a living, evolving place where people actually live their lives.
Cat
Yep. I prefer to say “visited” or “went to” or “do a trip to” rather than just “did” for exactly this reason.
Blueberries
Well said, LAnon! The expression also annoys me.
Semantics
Yes! I think this is it. It’s treating a place— sometimes a whole country— as just a thing on a list to check off. Thank you!
The airport thing below also bugs me. I know why that does— it’s not actually shorter to say ATL instead of Atlanta, and it is a way to signal the person travels a lot and knows airport codes.
Anon
Yup, I agree.
Anon
That one doesn’t bother me, but the similar issue that makes me rage regularly is when people say “Oh we were in ATL for the weekend!” or “we’re spending a week in SFO.” Just no. Say the damn city name.
Anonymous
Sadly there are days where I can say “I spent the day in ATL” and mean exactly that. (but I otherwise agree with you)
Blueberries
The airport code thing annoys me because it’s not accurate. I didn’t realize that people were trying to signal worldliness. That makes it more annoying.
Anon
I agree that it’s weird to use something that’s *just* an airport code like SFO. But ATL is pretty standard slang for the city of Atlanta and has been for decades. I don’t really associate it with travel or people trying to brag about how much they travel.
anon
Ha, I’m a person who viscerally hates when “gift” is used as a verb so I won’t judge you. (And obviously bored this afternoon too). This has always seemed a little off to me as well. I think that it’s because it implies that a country, with all that is encompassed within a country, is like an activity that doesn’t vary from visitor to visitor– like it commodifies it somehow. What does it mean to “do Italy” for example? Did you go to Cinque Terre? Did you drink wine in Tuscany? Did you spend all your time enraptured in cathedrals and experiencing art history in Rome, or Florence, or Milan? Did you meet locals and get to know them? Did you learn about the lives of anyone living there? Did you learn anything about history, or language? There’s an infinite array of experiences you could have in any country– if you “did” it already, what does that mean–there’s nothing else for you to see? That doesn’t fit. Agree with LAnon– sounds like you went to Epcot. I just like to say “I’ve been to __.”
Anonymous
Agree. Only OK to use if you’re referring to Dallas. And your name is Debbie.
(Hmmm. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t sound right?)
Anonymous
Does anyone have a great recipe for cinnamon buns or blueberry muffins? Thinking ahead to Father’s Day. Bonus points if they’re vaguely healthy. Thank you!
Anonymous
Not at all healthy but SO delicious: https://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/cinammon_rolls_/
I make a very simple cream cheese frosting instead of her maple frosting. These are such crowd pleasers. Takes time but so very worth it.
Ses
+1 this recipe is awesome, AND I also do a cream cheese frosting instead.
editrix
Not healthy but fun and surprisingly easy to make:
https://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/cinnamon-star-bread-recipe
Rainbow Hair
Pride question/thought. (Setting aside the whole commercialism thing about pride, as a discussion for another time) am I just a terrible rotten grump for not loving “Love Wins” as a slogan on teeshirts etc.? Because … love doesn’t always win? Certainly, historically it hasn’t. Marriage equality was a real win, of course, but “love” hasn’t won on all fronts, for sure, and it just seems a little bit like… placating? “It’s OK, Love Wins, drink some Absolut and don’t worry your pretty little heads about it.”
I would genuinely like to hear from anyone who likes the slogan, and to hear what it means to you.
Anon
What do you mean by “love hasn’t won on all fronts?” Just curious. The term doesn’t bother me, but I wouldn’t say I actively like it either.
Rainbow Hair
Just like, that you can arguably be fired for being gay in the US, plenty of folks (on this board!) wouldn’t vote for an otherwise qualified politician because he’s gay, you can get imprisoned or killed for being gay in other parts of the world… love hasn’t won.
Anonymous
I think of it in the sense of the MLK jr quote that “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” In the end, love wins.
Rainbow Hair
Oh! I hear it as like, in the present tense, like “Gretsky takes the shot and!!! LOVE WINS!!!!!”
I could certainly get behind the sentiment of “[if we fight for what’s right] love [might eventually] win[s]” ….
Rainbow Hair
(Pls forgive my Friday afternoon grammar, or whatever that is.)
anonshmanon
That’s how I read it. Wins as I will prevail. We’re not done, but we are absolutely, unwaveringly confident of which side will win.
anon
Me too. It’s an encouraging statement, not a declaration of victory. (In my head, anyhow!)
LAnon
It strikes me as just one of those platitudes that sounds nice but is essentially meaningless. Stuff like “it’s always darkest just before dawn” (no it’s not) or that quote that makes the rounds on occasion about the arc of the moral universe bending towards justice. (Which is nice rhetoric but… is basically just rhetoric.)
So I don’t have a problem with it per se; it just seems to be a nice thing that we’d all like to believe in, more than a factual declaration that this is always how the world works.
anon
Yes, to me it’s wishful thinking. I like it as a show of support/solidarity, but Rainbow Hair is right. Love doesn’t always win. And it’s not enough just to say that love will eventually win out. We need to actually pay attention to policy details and maybe strategize a little bit? Not just trust that the universe will keep naturally bending towards justice and ride it out? Really not wanting trying to start a political flame war here but just as an example… wear love wins tee shirts all you want but it’s Mitch McConnell who is reshaping the federal judiciary via actual exercise of political power. It’s ALEC and National Right to Life and Focus on the Family who are drafting and submitting model legislation that is getting passed and putting progressives on the defensive. Saying #lovewins isn’t strong enough to stand up to these tangible hurdles towards legal equality.
Worry about yourself
I’m generally irritated by people who insist we just need to love each other and everything will be okay! I feel like it’s sometimes said to placate the people getting passionate about what they believe in, because anger makes people uncomfortable. I think kindness is important, but love isn’t going to be enough, sometimes we need to get angry, get worked up, get loud, and actually fight for things. Sitting in a drum circle and sending people good vibes while the world burns down around you does nothing.
Rainbow Hair
Yes, this too!
Anon
Related to that, I’ve noticed a lot of people try to shut down debate by accusing the other side of “hate.” Obviously it’s one thing to hurl racial slurs, but it’s another to critique problems (i.e., male violence or police violence) and then get accused of being driven by nothing but hate. It’s intellectually dishonest and misogynistic since it’s often targeted at women.
Anonymous
Yes you’re being a total grump. Honestlyget iver yourself.
Anonymous
I am still not over the popularity of “Life is good” merchandise (which remains popular where I live).
Diana Barry
Good cheap flip-flops that can go in the water (not fabric strap)? Are there better ones than Old Navy that I could buy for <$20?
UHU
Havaianas or Ipanema, both Brazilian brands, both have ankle strap options
Anonymous
+1 for Ipanema.
I really like the ‘flip flops’ with an ankle strap.
CrowTRobot
Havaianas are about $18… good quality. I’ve been using the same pair as my shower shoes for years.
Anon
Havaianas are no different than the Old Navy ones. Save your money and buy the $5 Old Navy pairs.
Another anonymous judge
Volcom ones are nice thin straps (which I like better than the traditional flip flop).
Anon.
Just this week I bought some Muk Luks on Woot for $11 which seem to be moderately better than Old Navy.
West Coaster
Love my Reef flip flops but they do have a thinnish fabric type strap and run ~$40 at MEC in Canada (akin to REI in the US). My criteria was a non-leather strap that can still get wet. For pool decks, chlorine, and any type of communal shower situation, I loooove my Old Navy flip flops! Got them on sale for about $4-5.
Irish Midori
My favorite ones are New Balance. I think I got them on sale for like $15.
chocolateminttruffles
Sanuks are currently available at my local Costco for $11.99!
Anon
Looking for thoughts/advice – over the past 6 weeks I’ve gained a little over 6 lbs. without changing anything in my diet or exercise routine. It’s not usual for my weight to go up a few (like 2) pounds and then return to normal, but this is totally new. And it’s real weight – I couldn’t fit into a pair of pants this morning. I did recently turn 35 – is this the metabolic buzz saw i’ve heard so much about? I’ve started tracking my meals to make sure I’m really eating what I think I’m eating. I’m considering making an appointment with my gp (but worry I’m being a bit dramatic). Open to any and all suggestions or internet diagnosis.
Anonymous
the metabolic slow down is real. and super not fun.
Anon
A pound a week sounds like way more than normal mid-30s slowdown. OP, get your thyroid checked.
Anon
Go to GP and also take a pregnancy test.
Irish Midori
It could be your metabolism — my slowdown hit later than everyone said it would, and caught me by surprise. But yeah, could be something else, too, so don’t feel silly for getting it checked out with your GP. Better to know.
Rental Income Accounting
Any recommendations for programs/softward to help withing accounting and managing expenses for a rental property? It’s a primary residence rental rented to a long-term tenant, so it’s not quite as complex as a vacation rental, and while I have separate bank accounts for rental income and expenses, right now my system in addition to that is a google spreadsheet and a bunch of paper files…
Celia
If it’s just the one building, you can track everything in a spreadsheet easily. Date, Vendor, Category, Amount. Look over Schedule H (is that the right one for rental properties) to make sure you’re categorizing things correctly. You don’t really need to spend on the software yet for just one building.
You could also buy Quicken, which has a version for the small real estate owner. You can do personal tracking as well as rental property tracking in the same data file, giving you a more complete picture of where you stand.
Firm
To those in BigLaw – does your firm reimburse you for cell phone / wireless charges while you are on *vacation* out of the country, if you “needed it to do client work”?
anoon
absolutely. if it is for work, you should charge back.
Anon
I have gotten these charges reimbursed if they can be charged to a client. So the situation you mentioned. On these types of things I used to worry about them and then once did the math on the number of minutes of my billable time the charge represents and then stopped thinking about it. If I’m incurring an expense I otherwise wouldn’t be to be available to a client, i charge it (subject to reasonable limits). That said, this varies by firm, practice area and client so suggest checking with someone on your team.
Cat
Yes, my firm paid. Not sure about your use of quotes though, are you trying to suggest you don’t actually need the coverage to do work?
Anonymous
Only the charges for the calls, not the whole roaming charge.
anon1
Not BigLaw, but I work in consulting and yes, I have my entire bill reimbursed when out of the country on vacation. If there’s an expectation that you should be checking emails at all times (not just when you can get on wifi), then everything should be reimbursable.
alicia
I’m starting a really busy job soon and I know that there was a series of posts about how to manage errands, healthy food, exercise, other tips etc . .. .for insanely busy jobs. Any know how I could find those, or have other tips?
alicia2
I’m starting a really busy job soon and I know that there was a series of posts about how to manage errands, healthy food, exercise, other tips etc . .. .for insanely busy jobs. Any know how I could find those, or have other tips?
Anonnish
How do I search all Corporette comments?