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Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here. Caslon has a number of cute linen dresses right now (including a stripey option and a plus size madras one) that seem sophisticated and elegant — while also being breathable and super easy to throw on when temperatures climb. The pictured dress is $69, with lots of sizes left. Caslon Linen Blend Dress This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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126 Comments

  1. Reposting from the morning thread –
    I’m going to do some paid side work and am required by company policy to formally disclose this to my employer. I assume before I submit the paperwork to HR, I need to give my boss a heads up. Is this something that can be done over email or do I have to talk to him in person? If I can email, does anyone have a script? This work is really minimally paid, and is for a cause I care about, so I think of it as essentially volunteer work – is it appropriate to mention the low pay? I don’t want to make it seem like I’m whining that my side gig isn’t paying me enough (since that’s obviously not my boss’s problem), but I think mentioning the low pay might alleviate concerns that I’m using this gig as a way to transition out of my full-time career.

    1. I think you’re overthinking. I wouldn’t mention how much you get paid, that’s weird. Just say it’s a side project for an organization/cause you care about and that should cover it.

      1. +1 I have to file a disclosure for my side job. Our company has an online form and all I have to say is what it is and where, and represent that it won’t affect my work for my FT job.

        1. Our HR form is online too. Did you tell your boss first? Should I just fill out the online HR form and assume they will run it by him?

          1. My boss and big boss knew already, as it isn’t something that is a big deal for my job (adjunct professor). I can’t remember if our policy required me to or not though.

    2. Hey boss, I want to loop you in that I am going to self report with HR about a small side income. I would gladly volunteer for XY organization, since I care about the cause, but they are offering a small compensation for my help on the XY project*. Let me know if you see any issues with that.

      *If you can add a sentence mentioning the end date of any temporary gig, or say something like on Sunday afternoons, I would find it useful context as a boss.

  2. Lets have a victories and back pats thread! What are things you’ve done lately that you’re proud of? Big or little!

    For me:
    – finally got an oil change that I’ve been putting off forever
    – finally called a landscaper to take out hideous scraggly bushes and plant hydrangeas in my front yard
    – did a couple of nagging but not time-sensitive tasks on my work to-do list, none of which have taken much time or been as annoying as I thought they’d be

    1. Have an appointment at DMV this afternoon for Real ID, and actually have all the required documents on my person!!

      1. From my experience observing others while waiting in line to get my Real ID, having all the required documents with you is, in fact, a major accomplishment. The number of people that got sent away was impressive.

        1. +1 — at my DMV location, they won’t even let you check in without running through the list of required documents. The woman was very surprised when I answered yes to all of them.

        2. I got sent away because I didn’t realize I needed my marriage certificate. I had a social security card in my married name and thought that was enough, but they needed the marriage certificate too. I should have checked the list better.

      2. If you don’t have your Social Security card and get paperless W-2s and paystubs, the SSN requirement is tough. But it is easy to request a replacement SS card from the SSA, and it came very quickly – I just filled out information online and mine came within two weeks.

          1. Obviously, Anon. But the CA DMV location I went to will not accept printed out copies of W-2s or paystubs because they are not originals. Both my husband and I were turned away for the same reason.

    2. I recently went to the dentist for the first time in years (bad, I know – I have no excuse except the fact that I moved and was scared of visiting a new dentist). Anyway, I had a bunch of cavities but I got them filled, and now will be going every six months to a dentist I know and trust.

    4. Gave my very first presentation on Wednesday and was told by my higher up that I did a great job!
      Also, finally met with a new dog trainer for my rescue dog, and have a plan in place to work on her reactivity to what seems like everything. 4th dog trainer for her, and I’m hopeful it’ll be the last!

    5. I was the one asking about casual interview attire (and I wore a jacket on top of my dress, as per your advice) and I got the job! My head is spinning right now. Any advice for a successful transition? I really like my boss and am feeling super guilty right now.

    7. I love this! I ran two miles yesterday, faster than I have in a while, and puzzled out a bunch of complicated work with my boss this morning.

    8. Big – closed on a house! Small – participated in a pitch to a potential client who decided to go with us, and my boss is giving me 25% of the origination on it since he felt like I was a big factor in their choosing us.

      1. wow I’m so proud/jealous of you for this! I want to do it once a week and can’t bring myself to wake up early one day and just do it! This inspired me to make it a priority next week.

      2. Yay! My goal is 2x next week in preparation for student return, where for the first few weeks of the semester, it’s easier to get to work a velo than by car.

    10. Ran a 5k… which is great for me, because I’m in my second trimester, and I did it in almost exactly 30 minutes. It feels really good to be faster than I was five or six years ago, even when slowed down by my changing body.

    11. Done:
      -Just checked my log and I’ve stuck to cross-training at least twice a week alongside marathon training.
      -Cracked 60,000 words on a novel draft.
      -Knocked out a bunch of stupid little things I’ve been procrastinating on at work this week.

      Need to do:
      -Get my car inspected.
      -Mail thank you notes from wedding.

    12. I successfully got jury duty postponed! Woohoo! I get called for criminal court every two years and I normally don’t care but I could not do it at the beginning of the fall semester, teaching a new course, etc. I went in and begged my case this morning and the woman was so nice and offered to have me postpone to a specific month (July of 2020) rather than a vague postponement. I am soooooo relieved!

      1. Congrats! I didn’t realize that anywhere other than DC was on the two year jury pool cycle. All my friend in other places have never had jury duty, or had it once in 20+ years. Whereas, I’ve had it 3 times in the last 5 years in DC. At least the DC cycle seems to be stretching to every 3 years, instead of every 2.

        1. In Orleans Parish (like a county), you can be called every two years. Some people never get a summons. Some people get into the civil court cycle (which I’ve never done), but it seems like, once you get into the criminal court system, they call you every two years like clockwork. It’s now 4 days (Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday for two weeks) and it used to be a whole month. Four years ago, I went in February and two years ago, I went in July. This time, I was really freaked out by the possibility of September, but the lady was incredibly helpful. In Jefferson Parish (the N.O. ‘burbs), you go one day a year, I think. A whole lot easier to swallow!

    13. I found out I’m the top candidate for a job I’m not going to take because it is geographically undesirable, but it’s nice to be wanted.

    14. Fell off a 17.2 hand galloping horse and lived to tell the tale. I feel like I got hit by a truck and am in serious pain, but I’m so glad I didn’t break anything.

    15. I love this thread! Am learning to ride a bike at 53 y.o. I found a really wonderful teacher who is in his 70’s, I think. :)

    16. Just got a paper accepted! Probably won’t stay in research long-term but it feels nice anyway!

    17. Tamed the jungle that is my backyard.
      Got my 2d Gardasil shot (at 45, so my last “shot” at the vax)

      1. I’m 40 and single and really want to get this vaccination, but feel so weird asking my doctor for it. Did your insurance cover it? How many shots and at what intervals?

        1. Not a doctor, but my understanding of vaccines is that having a lot of people vaccinated leads to beneficial herd immunity. Therefore, you could try and rejigger the way you think about it to protecting yourself…and everyone else if it makes you feel less weird. Go for it!

        2. Get it! I started the three-shot cycle when I was a month shy of 26 and it was brand new. I’ve felt good about having it ever since. I had much better insurance then (11 years ago–wow) but I think it was covered 100%, just like any other vaccination/flu. I suspect you can get it at a local pharmacy/the grocery store/whatever.

        3. I will say, my doctor’s office handled it poorly. I asked for the shot and for STD testing at this appt. I did not really need the testing, but if I enter into a new relationship, I want to be able to say I’ve had it (and expect the same). My NP reacted appropriately but surprised. Then the staff took over and the fuss they made in an attempt to keep this quiet was comical. In part this was bc I was self-paying and they wanted to be sure I had info on costs. But the many not-actually-hushed conversations followed by side glancing among the staff made me feel like i should feel embarrassed even though i really really did not.
          As I said, I was self-paying, but i dont believe either the shots or the testing would have been covered under my insurance. It was a few hundred dollars and totally worth it to me.

          1. I’m so sorry that your request got such a reaction at your doctor, that’s such a bummer. I’m so grateful to have gotten the series the year the vaccine was released, when I was 16! My ob/gyn was shocked (but super happy) at my annual exam to find out I had been vaccinated, as I’m now in a state where apparently teenage vaccination for it is uncommon.

    19. What a great idea!

      – I am meeting new people and enjoying it! I moved across the country about 2 months ago and am proactively getting out there and trying to make friends. I joined the local bar association, Rotary (thanks Senior Attorney!), met up with a couple who is a friend of a friend, and have lunch with a mom whose kids are in the same school as mine. It feels great to make new connections.

      – I started practicing my Spanish on the duolingo app (thanks to whomever suggested it). I just do 15 minutes a day and I love it. I was speaking in Spanish to the carpenter yesterday and my mother in law said after how well I speak Spanish. No, not really…but it felt good to speak again, it’s been a long time

    20. My nephew texted me a my senior prom photo, and I shared it with my sister and told her I was wearing her shoes stuffed with paper. I wore her shoes stuffed with paper to the junior prom and dress up day too. It’s been many years, but I’m glad I finally told her. She didn’t care, but back in the day she would have been mad. Now, she understands why someone would do this and I just feel so much better to have shared that part of my life with someone.

      1. Smart decision. If you are just haveing sex with only 1 person, Margie said it is optional, but I think she is wrong b/c you do not know if your boyfreind is only having sex with you, so this is a good idea. I am waiting to go to Nordstrom’s to see if they have the dress Kat showed us yesterday, and will get one if they have the orange and yellow one in size 2. Then, off to the Catskill’s! YAY!!!!

    22. We are working on insurance this year, and are close to having a set of sensibly researched policies in place instead of coverage by happenstance. Next year is estates and trust year.

      1. What state? If you’re in Texas, I’m happy to provide a recommendation for your city/area.

    23. I landed a major project and got email kudos from boss’s boss’s boss! I had to change the way I worked from the past ( “I am smart and effective, so listen to me, though of course I’ll take your input”) to be more receptive, listening, and gently influencing (because now I’m playing in rooms with people far senior to me who know a lot more context than me, whereas before I was directing juniors ). I’m super proud that I learned the new behaviors fast enough to make this happen.

    1. I like it on the model, but fear it would be too poofy around the middle on me. Has anyone tried it on?

      1. I worry more about the linen aspect of it. Lululemon has a similar dress that I’ve been lusting after. More expensive, but better material. The Throw it On dress.

      2. I love the Striped version of this Dress, and it’s at Nordstrom’s so I can try it tomorrow when I go with Myrna to White Plains. We are going to spend the weekend in the Catskills, where it is going to be nice, and Myrna’s brother has a summer house. She says to bring Mosquito repellant, so I must go to CVS. HAPPY WEEKEND TO THE HIVE. I hope to check back in tonite if there is a good phone signal up there. YAY!!!

    3. I think it looks like a sack and does nothing for the (presumably very slim) model.

    4. I like it too! That sleeve shape is flattering and it looks good for the price. I’d add a woven belt to mitigate the frump that elastic waists can create.

    5. I tried this dress on and liked it for work. Felt it needed some accessories for anything else. It’s pretty basic, but it’s comfy and looks good, though nothing amazing. Thought I’d like the striped versions for the beach, but they’re a bit more fitted on the bottom which is odd with the top.

  4. I’ve been doing pelvic floor therapy for about 3 weeks and was told that there’s not as much improvement as they’d like to see. She said we may need to do electric stimulation, which sounds terrifying. Has anyone had this done? Any words of wisdom? I was told it takes 20-30 minutes and there is “discomfort” — how bad of a discomfort are we talking about here?

    1. I did this as part of pelvic floor PT but it was with a TENS machine with little sticky pads I put on my lower back. I could then control the electric stimulation myself. It was not bad at all – very mild. I don’t know if what they’re proposing to do to you is different (internal?) but I’m sure they will start with extremely low electricity and let you be in charge of how much to turn it up. I wouldn’t worry about it.

      1. Yeah I have never found a TENS machine uncomfortable. I actually like the way it feels.

    2. I haven’t done pelvic stim, but I’ve done regular stim. I was super-nervous before the first time, but it really wasn’t bad at all: more of a sharp tingling sensation than anything I would fine truly uncomfortable. At least when I’ve done it, I’ve gotten to control the box where you turn up the intensity, and started on a very low setting–so you can turn it up gradually and turn it back down if it becomes too much.

      I think it did help the couple of areas I used it for!

    3. Maybe too late for you to see this but I have done the internal stim as part of pelvic floor physical therapy and it was not a big deal. They start the stim low and gradually increase it. It feels a little like stinging/buzzing for the first few seconds but then after that was totally fine for me.

    4. I’ve done it for my knee. I didn’t control it myself but the technician was nearby and adjusted it at my direction while I got settled. It was a tiny bit uncomfortable (not painful) for the first few minutes but after 3-5 minutes was oddly soothing. Can’t speak to the pelvic floor part, though.

  5. I have a tunic-type blouse. The buttons start midway down my sternum, so I need to wear a cami underneath. It’s the second blouse I have like this (the other is a pussy-bow style, so not as obvious in the store). In the summer, it is a bit cooler, but it also seems crazy to have to wear two layers in the summer. Can we have things a bit less exposed please?

    2. Hmm. Midway down my sternum is actually right about the spot where my most flattering v neck tops hit. I think your tops sound pretty lovely! I’m tall, so when shirts are too close to my collarbone, I just have one giant rectangle of space between my shoulders and br3@sts. If I target the spot that’s directly center between my armpits with a necklace or interesting top, it’s a great way to break up all that swath of space, with a v neck, bow or buttons like your blouses, or other features for visual interest.

    3. Can you sew up the placket to where you would like it to be? I have hand sewn a few of these closed extra inches and it was a pretty simple job.

      2. I sew in a press stud – that’s about where my level of sewing skill is (wonky press stud placement less troublesome than a wonky placket)

      3. +1 I sewed a small stitch in a work shirt that would otherwise be too low cut and stopped having to wear a tank top underneath. I’m planning to do it to a casual half-button down shirt I wear a lot too.

      1. There are also little fake cami inserts you can buy on Amazon to attach to a regular bra.

    5. I prefer wearing a cami under things in the summer so there’s a layer to absorb my sweat. Maybe that’s just me though…

      1. I actually wear a very thin cami or tee under a bra in the summer. Chafing be gone!

        1. This is brilliant. I have a very sweaty day at a festival coming up, and will give this a try.

  6. I need a bit of a wardrobe refresh. I’m older and heavier than I used to be and 1) our office has gone full-on casual but 2) I’m doing more work travel with important meetings, so I don’t need / can’t a wear a lot of what I currently own.

    I’m 5-4 and a pear. I’ve got a high waist and short torso (so I need petite dresses/jackets or the waist placement is all wrong, but seem to have normal-length legs, so petite dresses can often be scandalously short (maybe I need an Executive Shift???)). 6-8 bottom; 4P-6P tops.

    Any mall brands to recommend or places to order from (Boden never used to work for me b/c it accentuated my tummy to the point of Burrito Baby; The Fold looks lovely)?

    1. I’m similar with having a really high waist. Banana Republic fits me better than most. For sleeveless sheath dresses, I do better buying non-petite and having the straps/shoulders shortened. It is still longer than a petite dress.

    2. I would honestly start with ordering a Bento from MM LaFleur. I, and others here, have had mixed thoughts on the quality of some of their pieces, but I think it is the type of clothes you are looking for and would be a good opportunity to try out different styles to see what works for you. I’d recommend trying the Etsuko in a 4/6 and the Sarah in a 6/8.

      I have the same body type as you, though am a lot younger. I’ve had good luck with Ann Taylor, Talbots with significant tailoring, and not much else, in terms of mall brand stores. Though, you might try something like this: https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens_category/dressesandjumpsuits/casual/tiewaist-shortsleeve-shirtdress/AC707?color_name=black

      1. :) OP here and my Etsuko size is an 8 (monster hips?). And I just scored a similar dress with a v neck on the MMLF BST group on Facebook now that I know my MMFL size. But I am just done with dark solids — I love them, but otherwise I just have 5 or 10 black dresses and gray dresses and wine colored dresses. The Etsuko is such a keeper (may donate everything else).

        1. Yeah– I think what you’re looking for is going to be long-sleeved statement dresses. This is what a lot of the older women in my office (law firm) wear. They wear the same thing to our office as to something like a deposition, and it somehow works.

    3. From your description, it sounds like we may have similar builds. I have success with Ann Taylor, Loft, and Talbots at the mall.

      1. Me too. 5″3, not showing much leg above knee due to office culture. Loft, Ann Taylor, Banana, and some Calvin Klein mixed in. I also have the waist shortened by raising the shoulders. All my dresses are A-line or fit and flare as I am not comfortable in fitted dresses due to the disparity between top and bottom. Many times have to buy something to fit hips and have it taken in at the torso sides and shoulders raised. Jcrew is a nightmare with darts and sometimes it can’t be done but usually my tailor makes it all work.

      2. Agree. Try Talbots. Online selection is better than in stores in my city. They generally carry the same suits/dresses in both misses and petites, so easy to match pieces.

    4. The brands I find short waisted and that might work for you are Boden and Lands End.

  7. Am somewhat looking for a job, and yesterday found a v interesting sounding one that is a pivot from my current career, but seems to be very in line with my experience and skill set. But I can’t tell if it’s something that would pay more, the same, or significantly less than what I make now! I hate when job descriptions are so broadly phrased…it’s a new position at this company, so there’s not really an equivalent that I can think to google salary comparisons. Any ideas?

    1. Can you just apply and see what happens? I agree that it’s annoying when companies won’t post salary bands for a position, but applying for a job isn’t agreeing to take it. Unless it’s a really cumbersome applications process, I say go for it.

      1. Oh I basically plan to! But will be bummed if I get anywhere in the process only to find out it’s not a viable option—there are plenty of jobs for what I currently do, but not many interesting-sounding pivot options I’ve found!

        1. Typically at large corporations, recruiters will have an introductory call with you to sound out salary ranges, so that is something you can scope out early in the process!

  8. I’m looking to get a new couch, and need for advice. I really like to sit with my back leaning against the couch arm and my legs stretched out down the couch, or with my legs crossed or under me. I basically never sit in the “normal” position, facing forward with my legs on the ground, when I’m at home.

    My problem is that the couch cushions always come loose, such that there is a gap between the back of the couch and where the cushion starts. It is super annoying to always have to push the cushions back in, and I want to avoid that problem with a new couch. Does anyone know why this happens or what to do to avoid it (besides sitting normal, cause that isn’t happening)? I’ve tried looking for couches where the cushion is attached in the back, but haven’t been able to find any.

    3. My leather couch cushions are attached. On 2 different styles so maybe look at leather?

    4. My Costco sectional came with cushions velcro attachment to the back. And it’s full leather and great quality.

    5. My couch has long straps made from the upholstery fabric attached to both sides of the cushions, with a hook with a slider closure at the end. The hook then catches a sturdy elastic loop that is attached securely to the area behind the cushion. That way you can pull the cushion out and unhook it if you want to, but otherwise it stays in place. Admittedly this was an expensive couch, but you could probably get an upholstery place to do something similar.

    6. Do you want the back cushions attached or the bottom cushions? Because I have seen lots of couches with back ones attached but not as many with bottom ones.

      1. I think it needs to be the bottom cushions. They come forward, and it’s like my couch
        is trying to eat me.

    7. The seat cushions on mine have a rear strip of wide Velcro (one side on the cushion bottom & the other side is attached to the base of the couch.
      Wide strip Velcro is available in rolls (at most fabric stores) with heavy adhesive so it would be quick to cut & apply to alleviate your problem.

    8. Late reply, but I sit the same way. I got a sofa with an upholstered back and one cushion that is clipped in. No couch eating me issues!

    10. I have the Margot sofa from crate and barrel. It doesn’t have separate cushions. We specifically looked for no cushions since our dog always got tennis balls stuck under them and proceeds to rip the fabric on past couches. I love it!

  9. I’ve been daydreaming of some fall outfits to refresh my clothes. What are you all thinking of adding/ replacing this fall? I would love a pleated (shorter than midi) skirt that is like the one posted here a while ago, as well as some sweaters to replace worn out ones. I’m a skirt/ dress person, but still live with the optimistic hope that one day, a well fitting unicorn pant will be found.

    1. 1. Button front jeans
      2. Pullover sweaters in autumnal colors, at least 1 with mock turtleneck, at least 1 cashmere
      3. long line cardigans (s)
      4. I always buy a pair of boots near my birthday, I call them Birthday Boots (fall baby here) Probably going to get another pair of Dansko booties.
      5. Some sheer long sleeved blouses/shirts to wear under slightly cropped sweaters/sweater vests
      6. Always on the lookout for a good non-black work pant. Green, purple, burgandy, navy, etc.
      7. Sweater/sweatshirt jackets to wear instead of shorter cardigans
      8. brown moto jacket (probably pleather because I am cheap) to replace my beloved one that become too shabby to wear
      9. loafers (but am particular about the shape/style, haven’t found the right pair yet)

      note that I do a ton of thrift shopping, so we shall see what falls into my lap.

    2. Last fall I worked on my outerwear and having an almost complete wardrobe of the coats, scarves and gloves I needed was life changing. And it wasn’t as expensive as I thought it would be. The only thing I still need is a long puffer for athletic events that will fit a pear with broad shoulders. Anyone have suggestions?

      1. I have a London fog puffer that works well and is warm ( hourglass shape) so fits my bust and hips. I’ve heard Edie bouer and north face suggested here which may work for your shape, though they fit tight in hips and bust for me.

  10. Earlier this week I completed a project that was submitted to a client that has been hypercritical of me in the past. I worked really hard, and my boss said “great job!” and talked a bit about next steps in a very positive way. The clients never replied. It has been several days now without a response, which is extremely unusual. They are also not responding to my emails about other projects. I have this feeling that they hate my work and are telling boss they never want to work with me again. I straight up asked Boss if everything is ok with client and project and haven’t gotten a response yet. I was at a very abusive/toxic job before this so I’m still reprogramming my brain, but I have had knots in my stomach all week about this and I can’t get it off my mind.

    1. sometimes we do the right work for the wrong people…stop overthinking this…your boss acknowledged your work and you know you did your best work….that’s all that matters

    2. No advice but affirmation. I also came from toxic past (family and first job). My mentor has been super proud of me, but uncle boss (not partner, not boss boss) hated a recent project. When I asked him for feedback, he said “everyone” hated it. But he hadn’t read it. And when I asked him for more feedback, he ended up saying “Well, Co-Worker B didn’t like it. And he’s a nice guy. So it must have been terrible.”

      Thanks, Uncle Boss. It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

    3. You know that boss knows you did good work, so that’s all that matters. In my experience (ad agency so not law), silence like this typically means 1) Project is almost over so client has made it very bottom of importance and you won’t hear from them with the same intensity again until they need you for something else 2) client is leaving where they work or moving to another division (or is about to but hasn’t announced publicly) and doesn’t care about the project anymore because of it 3) vacation or about to vacation so you’re low priority 4) competing project came up that is a hotter fire so focus has shifted. If they don’t want you back on a project those sorts of convos rarely come up at the end of a project (they would rather have someone they don’tike waiting in the wings than no one and why bother dealing with if the person may have already moved on by the next project )—it’s far more likely for dissatisfaction to be relayed when the next new work comes in (or they’ve lined up someone else to redo) 5) Project need has changed/lowered in importance since it was first undertaken (shifting priority due to change in client’s new CEO, shift in business goal or what have you) so it’s not as urgent or significant as once deemed. Given the huge amount of factors beyond your control, no point in sweating. All of this just naturally comes with the territory of client service functions.

  11. I had a great appointment this morning with my reproductive endocrinologist. Egg retrieval should be Monday or Tuesday. (My time with the lab wasn’t as fun…took three pokes to get a blood draw….) Very much looking forward to getting this over with, and knowing what we’re dealing with re: embryo number so that we can plan next steps.

    2. Sending you the best of luck!!! I had my retrieval in April. It was a bit nerve wracking, but mostly uneventful. Take care of yourself in the days following. I did find the daily calls of the embryo report stressful because I had to take the calls at work and then deliver the news to my husband. I really hope all goes well for you!

    3. Good luck! The hazy anesthesia nap after the retrieval was blissful.
      I had two retrievals. Incredibly bad and discouraging news {lab error} with the first and then a crop of embryos in the second. You’ve got the right attitude!

  12. Will frame this as a hypothetical – I’m trying to decide if there’s anything I can do here before sinking more money into it with attorneys. If you are a landlord whose tenant filed 13 that converted to 7, you have no pre-petition claims and your lease is assumed as an executory contract and terminated 4 days later, are you able to sue for unpaid rent from the pre-conversion period and for property damages not covered by the security deposit and billed post-conversion to 7? BK was discharged 2 months after all of this.

    1. Bankruptcy is a matter of both federal and state law, IIRC. So this may depend on which state you live in.

      But the larger issue is that unsecured creditors in chapter 7 tend to get about four percent (last I checked – someone might have a more updated figure) of what they are owed. You could easily spend more money on attorneys than you could ever recover.

  13. I’m unexpectedly flying to San Francisco for work. I’m going a day early so I’ll have all day Sunday on my own. Hotel is downtown, I’d like to be there by around 6 Sunday night to relax. Any suggested favorite places to eat, sightsee, SF-only shops? Is Alcatraz worth it?

    Also, best way to get from airport to downtown?

    1. Alcatraz is absolutely worth it but you might have a hard time getting a ticket. You might try checking with the concierge at your hotel. If you only have one day and the weather is good I would walk along the waterfront from the Ferry Building to Fishermans Wharf, check out the view of the GGB and then up the Chinatown /Nob Hill and then take an Uber to City Lights Bookstore. But ask 10 people what they would do with 1 day in San Francisco and get 10’different answers.

      And take Bart to downtown from the airport.

    2. Hi there. SF resident here. Alcatraz is fun but doubt you can get a reservation so last minute. They’re booked up most summer days. Plus it’s a big time commitment. Suggest Hayes Valley neighborhood for shipping and food. It has lots of cute, unique boutiques and good restaurants and locals hang out a lot on weekends especially. Check yelp for recommendations. Too many good ones to suggest. Souvla is good fast casual Greek. Loving Cup for rice pudding and custom yogurt. Others locals experiences are the Mission neighborhood (Valencia St between 15-20th streets) and Golden Gate Park/Inner Sunset neighborhood (park closes to cars on Sun on JFK Drive). Uber or Lyft around town (but this weekend is crazy due to music festival Outside Lands). Also the easiest way to get from airport.

  14. I am a naturally buoyant person (disregarding my major depressive disorder. Thank you, medication). I laugh easily, I’m upbeat, etc. But I think I probably come across as goofy/flighty/immature. I’m good at what I do, with a ton of experience, but I think people have trouble taking me “seriously.”

    I am planning to venture out in the next year or so on my own, with a new business idea that I have. It will require persuading a host of different people to “believe” in me and be willing to commit money/time/resources.

    How do I learn how to…calm down? be more professional? without smooshing my normal self?

    Thanks,

    1. Ohhh following this. I’ve been told similar things (only a couple of times, but easily see how I can come across this way in the office atmosphere). Perhaps I’m more on the energetic side – I’m told this has come across as uptight or nervous. That said, I’m also very socially aware. Am early to mid career, and always curious how others use their personal characteristics in professional life! I’m fortunate that my workplace contains quite a number of various “personalities” and varying levels of professionalism so it’s not as much of a concern at this employer. To maximize future prospects, is the type of item I like to stay aware of and look to successful examples on :)

    2. Yes, also following, and maybe you might get more responses if you repost in the morning.

  15. Fiance and I are mid 30s and planning a smallish wedding – morning ceremony, luncheon, no dancing/bouquet toss, just excellent food (our lunch is a buy-out at one of our cities best restaurants and of course we will have an open bar) and those that are closest and most important to us as we start our married life. What are some small, special touches we could have at the reception or as part of the weekend to make it special for our guests? Any little touches that you’ve noticed as a wedding guest that you’ve appreciated?

    1. A thoughtful guest book – like having people write notes that are tucked into envelopes in a book or something like that. Also, roasts or speeches seem obvious but it is so touching. And just being good hosts by helping people make connections and get comfortable, especially if they don’t know many others. Congratulations!!!

  16. I’m East African. My white MIL is well meaning but ignorant and often quite racist and has these black statues that look pretty offensive (exaggerated features, expressions and dancing poses) that she keeps in her front entrance.

    They’re on the windowsill and you can see them from outside the house.

    Should I try to explain to her that they not only look super racist but it’s the first thing anyone sees approaching her house? Or leave it alone?

      1. Hubby things it’s hilarious and wants to know how long it goes before delivery guy or someone else calls her racist to her face…

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