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I just noticed that Nordstrom has a big section devoted to sustainable style, and I was intrigued to find Treasure & Bond in there — I'm drooling over a number of their affordable-but-cute basics anyway, including (pictured) this off-shoulder pullover.
(T&B is included because they donate a portion of their profits to a charitable organization — in this case, giving “2.5% of net sales to organizations that serve youth experiencing homelessness with supportive services, a safe environment, growth opportunities, and more.” You can read more about which brands are included and why in this Business Insider article.)
I like that the pullover is a little sexy and edgy but still easy — perfect for a date (Zoom, house date, or otherwise!) or catch-up with friends. It's also nice that it comes in a zillion colors, and regular and plus sizes.
The sweater is $69 full price at Nordstrom. It's listed as “hand wash” which for me would mean “sweater bag with Woolite on delicate cycle, then lay flat.”
(Slightly related because these are nice options from the same brand: Why am I such a sucker for ombre as well as slightly interesting sweatshirts? Sigh.)
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
(If you're hunting for other eco-friendly clothes to wear to work, check out major brands like Boden, Eileen Fisher, H&M Conscious, Karen Kane, Theory, and Ted Baker — and obviously a ton of weekend brands like Patagonia, prAna, Fair Indigo and Girlfriend Collective. You can also check out smaller brands like Amour Vert, Cuyana, Everlane, Emerson Fry, Grana, Reformation and Wallis Evera.
For ethical fashion brands in plus sizes, check out Eileen Fisher, Ulla Popken, Hours and MadeTrade.)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
This got buried in the morning thread but any insight from those who are following the issue — I legitimately don’t understand what is happening with the black population here and how/why they’re being left behind. I don’t buy that it’s vaccine hesitancy as surveys show that 6 out of 10 black people say yes they want the vaccine. Yet I now know 3 people personally (well enough that we can discuss this) who’ve gone to be vaccinated. 2 went to the same state run mega site at 2 different days/times, and 1 went to a smaller health system run site where she didn’t see that many people but prob saw 15-20 others coming and going. 2 have said that it was all white people getting vaccinated; 1 said mostly white with 1-2 Asians. Yet these sites are in counties with 15-20% black populations and counties where median incomes are 80-85k and 90% of people have internet access (we looked this up). So these aren’t situations of – oh no POC live here of course they wouldn’t be at the site or the POC population is very poor and without computers so of course they can’t grab appointments. I’m unclear on why it’s playing out this way.
Anonymous
It’s because white people with inside connections are grabbing all the slots for their friends. At least that’s what is happening here.
Anon
I agree that is happening but that is not the entire story. The history of what has happened to black people at the hands of the medical establishment has resulted in a lot of mistrust, and in this case, vaccine resistance.
AFT
In IL, you currently have to book an appt in advance for all sites, and it’s very competitive – like you need to be click through multiple sites, check at off hours, etc. I know it’s left a lot of seniors or folks who can’t navigate that system behind as it’s not just “do you have internet access/computer” but also “can you check multiple times, can you drive an hour to get to your appt, can you drop everything and hustle to get to a surprise opening”. I’m optimistic that, as supply increases (we’re expecting twice as many shots weekly in March) these inequities and the competition for spots will decrease.
Anon
+1, also in IL, observed the same among older family members and their friends, also eager to see more spots open up.
Anon
Even in middle class areas, you’re more inclined to have POC in jobs that aren’t desk jobs at a computer where they can hit refresh all day. I know black guys (and women) who make a nice living — in HVAC, auto mechanics etc. Skilled trades that get you over the median income but you are with clients, at job sites and can’t check your computer every 2 seconds.
Anon
It is like getting concert tickets — hitting perpetual refresh.
My parents’ home computer died and they just have my mom’s iPhone (dad has something old enough to have an area code no longer applicable to their region on the state and that could be in a museum). Not sure what the technology spend is like to be able to navigate this well, but this crowd also doesn’t likely want to spend hours in a public library on their computers (if that is even a thing these days). They are 75+/80+ and are just now getting their first shot in place that was a hotspot last spring.
NY CPA
+1 for NYC. I have a vaccine appointment coming up, but I only got it because I spent from 8:30AM-1:30PM on a Saturday constantly refreshing the state’s vaccine appointment website, until it would stop crashing and let me book something. If I hadn’t have done that, all the appointments were gone by that evening.
Anonymous
Yes, this. I’m recently eligible, but also got appointments for my grandparents, parents and elderly neighbors this way. Basically hours of refreshing constantly and monitoring Reddit to see if new appointment blocks had dropped. The average person does not have the time or resources or internet savvy to get an appointment. It’s a pain which is why I paid it forward to others in my life.
Missouri
I live in Missouri. Black people are concentrated in the two major metropolitan areas (Kansas City and St. Louis). The rest of the state is largely rural and white. The Governor/state is placing mass vaccination sites in all kinds of rural areas, with very few sites in the cities. The state’s mass vax sites for the “St. Louis area” are actually an hour outside St. Louis, only accessible by car. The slots fill up almost immediately. Meanwhile, a rural mass vax site had 1,000 extra doses, first come first served. Why so many? The town has a population of 65! As in sixty-five.
Anon in St. Louis
The governor is targeting ALL of us in the cities, let it be said. The racial impact is an unfortunate byproduct. It’s blatant and disgusting. What’s worse is that (I’m somewhat exaggerating here) those in the rural areas don’t believe in COVID yet are receiving all the vaccines AND if they were to get sick, they come to the hospitals in urban areas because their hospitals have closed, partly because of the way they’ve voted.
The governor has nothing to fear — he’s not up for re-election and wouldn’t need the urban vote anyway.
Still waiting . . .oh, and not all of us can hit refresh all day just because we have office jobs. I’m behind a firewall (can’t even read this site till I get home!)
anon
My parents and my husband’s parents and step-parents are all fully vaccinated, as of this week (2 shots + waiting period). They are all white. Their circumstances vary, but there’s a lot of privilege behind the individual reasons they were able to get vaccinated.
– 2 were eligible because they are healthcare workers. One is a physician, and one is a social worker. Both professions require a 4-year university degree, an advanced degree, and a professional license.
– 2 were able to get the vaccine because they devoted dozens of hours to hitting refresh on their computers.
– 1 was able to get the vaccine because she crossed state lines–which required the ability to make a 4-hour drive and stay overnight in another town (she stayed for free at her sister’s empty beach condo), twice.
– 1 was able to get the vaccine because he was in the first group of eligibility in our state besides healthcare workers (people over 70), and supplies weren’t limited yet. That’s probably the most likely to be equitable, but even so, he had access to the information about how to get signed up at our local hospital from his regular PCP, and he had a wife who knows how to use a computer.
DH and I are on a bunch of waiting lists. Some are because we have connections with healthcare providers. Some are just the local pharmacies. Either way, it’s a privilege that I could just walk out of my office and get the vaccine if I got a call.
Anon
I’m in Washington State. The shot rollout was terrible – our governor/government did virtually zero planning before December on how to roll out.
As the rollout has been so bad, the vaccination allocation has been hard for everyone to access but more so for elderly and low-income people who cannot use the internet and don’t have the resources to navigate the process. I spent 2-3 hours a day for 10 days to get my 88 year old parents shots. Got up at 7, stayed up until 1a.m., checking every hour for a week. On the other hand, my 95 year old mother in law got hers the first week from her doctor, who said that the clinic started at 100 years old and worked their way down.
Here the population is 69% white, about 12% black. So far, about 68% of shots have gone to whites, who have had 71% of the deaths in the state, because whites are on average generally older than other populations. There is a big discussion now about equity and how to make sure that low-income and minority communities can access the vaccine. The minority communities have had more cases that the white community but less deaths by population. The State has now set up mobile clinics and mass vaccination sites that target the underserved population.
Since then, there has been a FaceBook group started for Washington State with the express purpose to get shots for those who cannot access the internet or don’t have the language skills or can’t spend 2-3 hours a day to find shots. There are hundreds of helpers who volunteer to help posters find shots. Many people post on FaceBook for themselves or others who are elderly or unable to post. I have been helping although there is a “wait list” to sign up to be an official helper, ironic right? So far, I’ve helped 5 other individuals get shots besides my parents, outside of the website.
Dozens of other states now have FaceBook groups to help the underserved and elderly to navigate the awful internet Hunger Games hunt for vaccines. If you’re interested, find the group for your state or form your own.
Anon
I’m in Dallas and just spent all day giving vaccines at our county-run site, One of the big issues here is the system is very complex. Counties, cities, hospitals, pharmacies, all have waitlists with different standards for their eligible priority groups. For the most part, these sign-ups are online (and you have to seek them out). And a lot of these vaccination sites are not located near areas where POC predominately live. The big sites are also run during work hours, so you have to have a job that allows you to take a couple of hours off. The way it is set up makes it easy for motivated, computer-literate people with flexible jobs (this doesn’t really correlate with risk). Having said that, I would estimate that at least 50% of the people I vaccinated today were POC. FEMA was running a parallel vaccine drive-thru that focused on residents of certain targetted disadvantaged ZIP codes, but I am not sure what the demographics looked like on that side.
Kelsey
Can we talk about whether the word b*tch is acceptable to use, either among women or with male significant others, spouses, friends, etc.? My DH occasionally uses that word (e.g., says that a coworker was acting like a b*tch and refusing to share info on a project or his sister was being such a b*tch and refusing to pick up her phone when there was a parent emergency going on, etc.). I dislike that word but I see people, especially women, use it? e.g., the sweatshirt company that someone linked to this morning. Are we okay generally with this word? How do I explain to DH why it is wrong to use? That it’s gendered and harsh (and if that’s the case, what’s the gender-neutral equivalent term?)
Anonymous
i have no problems with the word bitch. as the old SNL bit goes, bitches get stuff done.
Anon
He can say she’s being a jerk or an a-hole or any number of terms. B*tch, when used by men, is used by men who hate women overall.
buffybot
I tend to agree. I curse a lot and it’s not a word I use (except I will use it as a verb when discussing someone complaining, sometimes – something to work on although I find I don’t use it differently across men and women). It’s interesting because I don’t think it always bothered me but now it sets my teeth on edge in the same way that the “c-word” does. If someone wants to use it to describe themselves I don’t mind – I think that’s similar to the sweatshirt company example – but I guess I’d ask your husband why THAT word is correct for a circumstance when “a-hole” isn’t. I think the answer will always, inescapably, have tinges of misogyny.
Anon
So interesting. I have very colorful language and indiscriminately refer to both men and women as the b word and c word.
Anon
Really? I swear a lot, but would never in my life refer to a woman as the c word, much less often.
Anon
Yea, I don’t know. It also would bother me 0% if anyone called me either one, either behind my back or to my face, so maybe I just don’t really feel personally invested in it? Not sure!
Anon
Every time he uses it, just tell him he is being a d*ck.
LaurenB
I personally use d*ck in a non-gendered way. A woman can easily be a d*ck, as can a man.
Anon
I feel the same way, honestly. And while I won’t sit here and claim to never use it, I try not to use that word, and I only use it when someone has done something REALLY bad. It steams my beans when people throw “b*tch” around any time a woman is rude.
I often feel like women are held to a seriously high standard of niceness. We have to be super nice, friendly, polite, generous, selfless, warm, helpful, sweet, etc. all the time, always with a beautiful smile, and any time we fail to meet those expectations, there’s a chance someone is going to get very mad and toss gendered insults at you.
Anon
Agree I only use biotch when someone’s been persistently aggressive to me, not aholish in general. Bc it is demeaning not just combative.
Anon
Agree it gets used by misogynistic men more frequently/regularly. A normal guy isn’t going to use that term often.
No Face
I would not insult a woman by calling her that word. It is definitely gendered in a bad way.
I say jerk. A hole if I’m mad. People of all genders have one of those, and they stink!
Anonymous
I would not insult a woman by calling her that word. It is definitely gendered in a bad way.
I say jerk. A hole if I’m mad. People of all genders have one of those, and they stink!
Cat
I think it’s fine in some circumstances but in the examples you gave of your DH, I don’t think it’s appropriate. There are better and more precise words to use.
anon
I see it somewhat on the spectrum as the N word. it’s been reclaimed by women to use amongst ourselves. Usage by men is not so acceptable. I personally just never use the word.
Anon
+1
Ses
Exactly. It’s like the N word. I feel I have a right to it, but men do not.
I generally don’t use it, because I don’t want men to feel they have a license to use it around me… But I think women get to use it because it’s a word about us, designed to lower and demean and insult us.
I am also tired of my gay male friends using it. I get that there’s some level of reclamation there too, but it still feels uncomfortable because they’re men and have the option to wield it in a sexist way too. Intersectionality is complex!
theguvnah
omg It is not remotely the same thing. I am a white woman (and a feminist!) and it is wildly outlandish to make this claim, as evidence by the fact that no one would dare type anything beyond “the n word” here (see the John Mulaney skit for more info).
Anonymous
I feel like it’s OK for women to use but not the same for a man. And in my circles, it’s rarely used unless either jokingly “B’s get it done” or something truly horrible and mean and usually a sustained pattern of being that way. “I can’t believe that B went out of her way to embarrass the new person on our call. And yet I can.” The C word is almost never spoken. I might call my office nemesis in a note-worthy moment or Marjorie Taylor Greene a C in a discussion with my husband but never in a discussion with friends and certainly not anyone not close. And I think the only reason I would do that with him is because it’s overly dramatic and exemplifies me not being me. He knows the humor of its use is that it’s outside of how I normally would ever talk.
LaurenB
I would never call Marjorie Taylor Greene a C because that’s an insult to Cs.
Anonymous
Not okay because he’s a guy using it is a derogatory way towards a woman. Not in a girlfriends ‘bitch your shoes are so cute I can’t even’ kind of way. I don’t use it in a derogatory way and I’ve converted DH from doing it by explaining that using gendered terms to describe awful behavior implies that the gender is part of the awful person’s problem.
– jerk, jacka$$, etc – lots of gender neutral options instead. FWIW, my kids now also use ‘Trumpy’ to describe people being awful.
Anon.
Highly recommend you watch The History of Swear Words on Netflix with him. There is an episode specific to B#$_&. It actually has a pretty good summary of why it’s problematic and gendered but in a light-hearted way.
EK
This is the best episode of this show. I occasionally use the word to refer to a female family member when they make me mad. I can’t remember the last time I used it to refer to a non family member.
anon
Ive never used the c word and I don’t use the b word anymore, either. Some people use it in a “reclaimed” sense and I’m not offended by that although I find it a little crass, I guess. (And in general I have no issue with swearing, it’s just the b word in particular grates.). But using it to insult someone, yes I think it’s misogynistic. I prefer to insult the behavior, not the person, so to me a-hole or jerk or vindictive or other adjectives are more appropriate. That extends to using it to insult men, because in that context the point of the insult is that they’re displaying a negative quality that we associate with femininity (e.g., “he’s being a whiny b”). It’s like calling a man a p—-y. oh ha ha, you’re not a real man, you’re acting like a girl, how terrible. I’m not ok with that and, tbh, if my husband called someone (and especially a woman) a b I would tell him to never do that again.
Anonymous
I don’t care if it’s ok with other people, and if people want to use it to describe themselves fine, but I do not use it and I don’t tolerate it. It is not ok to call human women animals to demean them. And I don’t have time to explain it to anyone beyond that.
Anon
I use it for people of any gender and will continue to do so. I do the same with all profanity that references body parts or sex–everyone is eligible.
LaurenB
So what that it’s gendered? Is there some new rule that we can’t use words that are gendered? And I agree with the SNL comment that b’s get stuff done.
anon
It’s gendered but it’s also calling a woman a dog (or a man a female dog). It’s not the equivalent of calling someone a d*ck, it’s more derogatory. Plus it’s a term directed at a lower-privilege/status group (women vs. men) so the difference in which gender it’s directed at matters, in my opinion.
Hollis
My 13 year old wants a new dress to wear to a virtual bat mitzvah. Don’t know why anyone needs a dress for a virtual event, but she’ll hopefully be going to an in person bat mitzvah for a different friend in the fall also, so I’m open to getting her a dress. However, having never been to a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah in my life, I have no idea what a dress for this occasion should look like or where I can find one during covid?!? Isn’t this what shopping malls were for?!? Please help me with any suggestions on style of dress and where I can get it. I’m in Seattle.
Anonymous
My young teen likes the dresses from Lulu’s. You have to be careful to rule out the ones that appear to be meant for clubbing, but there are a few age-appropriate ones in there.
Hollis
I’ve never heard of this store before, but I am an old. Thanks for the suggesion!
Anon
I am not jewish but a lot of my daughter’s friends were when they were all around bat mitzvah age. She was advised to cover her shoulders, so she had a number of looks with either a long sleeved top and a skirt or a summery dress with sleeves. I’m on the west coast so we may be more casual here, but none of them were formal dresses. More like church dresses/summer dresses. Like a ditsy floral pattern on a rayon dress.
Hollis
Thank you – it’s a lot easier for me to envision the church dress/summer dress look on my daughter who normally lives in leggings and sweatshirts (like all of us these days I guess).
No Face
Think homecoming dresses. I wore a cardigan over my dresses for the ceremony part in the synagogues. Macy’s was my source for dresses. That said, this was a long time ago!
I know people with much more energy that me have virtual parties where people actually dance and the full body is visible, so that is probably why she wants a new dress.
Hollis
It turns out that each girl is planning to visit the birthday day girl at home (outside, with masks on) and drop off their gift before the ceremony, and all of the other girls are planning to wear dresses apparently. I grew up wearing dresses from macy’s but of course the ones in our city are all closing down.
Curious
Yes — homecoming dress is right (and knee length, not long). If the congregation is Reform, you don’t need to cover shoulders for the party, only the service. My mom had me wear long skirts and short sleeves sweaters to b’nai mitzvot and I was so out of place.
Horse Crazy
Ehhhh, at my reform temple, you should still cover your shoulders. A cap sleeve is fine, or a sweater over the dress is fine too, but spaghetti straps would look soooo out of place at my temple.
Curious
Sorry — at the party, even? Or just at the service? We always covered for the service then took off the shrug and had spaghetti straps under for the reception.
Ellen
I agree. Macy’s had a great dress that Rosa wore for years after buying it for the Bar Mitzva party of Martin Fink, who’s now a really big time hostpital administrator somewhere in the mid West. Dad keeps needeling met o this day why I let him get away. I was much older then him and at the time he was a tall skinny kid with pimples that was totally unappealing to anyone my age, b/c I was already a junior in high school. Can you imagine ANY high school student, let alone me, a very cute junior, 4 years older even going out with a 12 year old guy with pimples? Even today, 30 years later, I cannot fathom the concept of him and me being intimate b/c all I remember was the goofy look on his face when he oogled Rosa at her high school graduation. FOOEY!
anne-on
This is what shopping malls were great for. What about Nordstrom or Bloomingdales online? I realize Seattle isn’t super formal but as a tween/teen we definitely wore what I would call fancy church clothes for confirmations/bar and bat mitzvahs, and the boys were almost always in suits, or at least slacks, a button down, and a tie. What about these? I could see a jumper being fun!
https://www.nordstrom.com/browse/kids/girls/tween-clothing/dresses/filter/party~8000544_8000562?breadcrumb=Home%2FKids%2FGirls%27%20Clothing%2FTween%20Girls%2FDresses%20%26%20Rompers&flexi=8000544_8000562
Hollis
Thanks – I will have my daughter take a look. I knew this would be the case, but there are almost too many choices and styles to choose from these days. For the record, my mom basically forced me to wear velvet dresses (plus white tights plus mary janes) for church, so that narrowed down my options considerably. To this day, I loathe velvet.
Curious
It’s more party wear than church wear (with a church shrug over for the ceremony). Think shiny and darker more than pastels and tights.
Curious
Something like this: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/zunie-lace-skater-dress-big-girl/4943233?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FKids%2FGirls%27%20Clothing%2FTween%20Girls%2FDresses%20%26%20Rompers&color=eggplant
Curious
Or this with a shrug
https://m.kohls.com/product/prd-3830470/juniors-speechless-lace-trim-party-slip-dress.jsp?prdPV=3&userPFM=juniors%20party%20dresses&diestoreid=1136&selectShip=true
Curious
Actually scratch the back on this — didn’t see it before posting.
Curious
Less revealing back, super cute: https://m.kohls.com/product/prd-4255734/juniors-speechless-asymmetrical-fitted-dress.jsp?prdPV=9&userPFM=juniors%20party%20dresses&diestoreid=1136&selectShip=true
Curious
Last one :)
https://m.kohls.com/product/prd-3843056/juniors-lily-rose-glitter-lace-hi-low-fit-flair-dress.jsp?prdPV=7&userPFM=juniors%20party%20dresses&diestoreid=1136&selectShip=true
Horse Crazy
No offense, Curious, but the Nordstrom dress is the only one that I would consider appropriate for a Bat Mitzvah, and I go to a VERY VERY VERY reform temple. The other two are way too revealing, in my opinion.
Curious
Just to be clear — are you talking about the service or the party? Am I coming from a really strange subculture where b’nai mitzvot end in a reception with less conservative clothes than what you wore for the service itself?
Curious
My friend wore spaghetti straps for her bat mitzvah but under a short non-sheer elbow length shrug, which she then took off at the party. Totally agree this is wayyy too revealing for temple.
Curious
But the party was at Maggiano’s, not on temple grounds.
Curious
And thank you for the correction :) My memories are from the Chicago suburbs in the 00s and may not apply in Seattle or today or outside that community :)
Anon
Both of my daughters attended at least 30 bar/bat mitzvah services and parties during the year they hit 13. Dress for the service is fairly conservative, with covered shoulders, no cleavage, not super fitted or short. Dress for the parties ranged from ultra-casual (jean skirt for a barbecue) to femme fatale as interpreted by 13 year old girls (for cocktail attire and black tie parties at restaurants and country clubs). Do not assume that what your daughter and her friends have decided to wear here will work for an in person service or party later. The locale, time of day (for both party and service), whether the party immediately follows the service, etc. all play a role in determining the dress code (and many invitations will provide guidance on appropriate attire for kids).
Curious
Sounds like kids have gotten cooler since I was doing this in the early 2000s :):)
LaurenB
It’s just whatever would be a nice dress that a young girl would wear to a church service and/or party. Obviously nothing too revealing (like you wouldn’t wear a strapless dress to church, either), but other than that — there’s no crazy dress code for a bar or bat mitzvah you need to concern yourself with.
Julie
See https://oureverydaylife.com/teen-etiquette-for-a-barbat-mitzvah-12085339.html
Anonymous
Why is there a mosquito in my house in February when it is freezing outside?
Anon
smart mosquito. Kill it at all costs.
Anonymous
Lol
Anon
My house is inundated with stink bugs. I’ve tossed four outside this week, though technically I suppose it might be just one very determined animal getting in multiple times.
BB
UGH! It’s from water thawing in odd spots…with mosquito eggs. I had this exact issue when I lived on the first floor of a Back Bay brownstone in Boston one year. It was literally January and there would be mosquitos every other week because my drafty windows faced the front garden.
Anon
And this is a great reminder that even if you live in the North, your pets should be treated for heartworm and ticks year round!
Anon
I loved the food discussion from this morning. I had Chinese food for lunch. From a restaurant take-out. When I was a kid, Chinese food came from a can from the grocery store.
I do remember that my mom had a fondue set (and an icemaker — they must have been wild before kids came along). I remember my mom having parties. Each pronged thing was a different color (for when parties get sloppy?). I hope she still has it. I think the pot was either turquoise or avocado green.
eye
Fondue parties are the best.
Anon
I work for the courts so we are required to go in everyday. I use a “Hot Logic” in chambers, which looks like a lunch box, but is actually a hot plate/mini oven. It heats your food to the perfect temperature without getting overheated. This morning I threw together some diced chicken, Trader Joe’s frozen cauliflower mexican “rice” and cheese. With the “Hot Logic” I warmed it up and the cheese got all melty. Topped it with some avocado slices I brought in, and voila! Excellent and super low carb lunch! https://www.amazon.com/HotLogic-Mini-Personal-Portable-Black/dp/B00EC7XJ00/ref=asc_df_B00EC7XJ00/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167155690034&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17814459200999417863&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032090&hvtargid=pla-305919862029&psc=1
Anon
I thought of those when we were doing a reno of our kitchen. I figured I could bring it to work and cook dinner as I worked, but it might bring in curious office-mates looking for a snack.
Shelle
I was introduced to fondue as a teenager and it definitely made me think my friend and her family were the most sophisticated people I had ever met! And the fondue was delicious, needless to say.
Anon
We never had Chinese growing up. My first time trying Chinese food was really greasy takeout (but also so tasty to my unaccustomed tastebuds!) at the food court in the Old Post Office building as a teenager on a field trip. That’s what I’ll always associate that building with – not the Trump Hotel monstrosity it is now.
Anonymous
That food court had much better food than that! It used to be my favorite place in DC. I am so sad it’s been defaced by the Trump Org.
Anon
I had mu shu pork for the first time at the Old Post Office (1985 or so). Delish. My mother’s version of chop suey was awful, so the influx of Asian immigrants to my So Cal town was very welcome to me. So many different cuisines! So many awesome, cheap restaurants!
Seventh Sister
We got fondue sets from both sets of parents when we got married. We had no interest and gave them away on the local buy nothing group. I think it was the way you said you were a sophisticated married person in the 1970s.
BeenThatGuy
I’ve purchased endless pairs of straight leg and baby bootcut jeans in the last month and nothing fits or looks right. I usually wear mid-rise or high-rise skinnies and they have a lot of stretch and are very comfortable. The new cuts, if they make it over my generous thighs and bum, don’t button and are stiff as anything. I’ve even sized up thinking that would solve my problem with no luck.
I really like dressing on trend and do take into consideration my age, 44, and body type. Does anyone have brand recommendations? Or should I ditch this trend and stick with the skinny jeans?
Anonymous
I’m 44 and am slowly replacing all my jeans with Mother brand jeans. They are insanely comfortable and very flattering on my non-curvy athletic middle-aged body. The brand website gives exact dimensions for rise, inseam, leg opening, and rates each style on stretchiness. I have found that the high-waist styles tend to run a little large and mid-rise are on the smaller end of TTS.
Anon
I’ve always followed the advice of over 30, on trends in basics (like sleeve length, jeans cut, neckline) dress to your body type and not with trends. I tried the low rise in the 2000s, high rise now, bootcut, skinny jean, etc. and nothing quite looked right on my short curvy (big thighs smaller waist) high waisted self. Once I discovered mid-rise straight leg, I never looked back and never will. The amount of taper in the straight leg might change with styles, but the principle remains.
Cat
I like AG jeans – they have just enough stretch to be comfortable (both in the skinny styles as well as bootcut or flare styles), but enough structure to feel “tucked in” and they don’t bag out during the day.
AnonATL
I bought a pair of Sonoma brand (kohl’s) bootcut jeans and I love the rise and the small bootcut. Helps smooth my mom pooch but not up past my belly button. I also have a big booty and thick legs They are $20 today and have become my preferred everyday jeans. I’m sure they make a straight cut.
Women’s Sonoma Midrise Bootcut Jeans
Anonymous
Talbots has a curvy fit straight leg you could try as well as a barely boot cut. I know some view them as for the “older folks”, but they are just plain jeans in a few different washes. And I wore them when I was 44.
Hollis
43 year old mom of three kids with a souvenir pooch here. I’m liking the NYDJ Barbara bootcut style. It has just enough stretch and just enough bootcut to look on trend.
Anon
I like Kut from Kloth at Nordstrom.
Anonymous
I like Code Bleu at Dillard’s.
Anon
I am OK with my hair going grey. I have medium brown head hair and the gray there is coming in in a nice streak. Yay.
BUT my eyebrows are dark brown and I found a gray one that . . . I really do not like. What do you do with very noticeable gray hair (it’s like neon white against the dark brown, so it shows). I see it, but no one sees me now. But I can’t imagine having a face with salt and pepper eyebrows. Pluck (when it’s just a few)? Dye? With my dexterity and nearsightedness, I’d probably color all of the fine downy hairs on my face and miss the gray eyebrows.
Anon
Dye with just for men facial hair dye or eyebrow dye kit. It’s a five minute process every few weeks that has a big impact.
anon
+1 I use the just for men beard dye and it works great.
Senior Attorney
I have some whites in my eyebrows and I do a combination of the following:
1. Have them tinted when I get my hair done
2. Pluck the really wiry white ones (talking to you, hair in the middle of left eyebrow)
3. I really like this “gimme brow” mascara-type stuff: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/benefit-gimme-brow-volumizing-eyebrow-gel/4699984
Cat
My tinted brow gel masks the one or two grays that pop up occasionally… for now.
eye
I had a woman drawing my blood for my yearly physical who told me she could see the grey hair in my brows across the room and actually reprimanded me for not dying them. Nice people.
Warning…. with aging your brows thin so I’d actually advise against plucking the grey ones. Agree with trying one of the men’s facial hair dying kits if you are not going to a salon to dye your other greys. Be careful though about not going to dark, even if you think you are returning to your “natural” color. As you age it is better to skew slightly lighter.
Senior Attorney
Amen. It’s a constant struggle: “is this wiry white one bugging me enough to sacrifice a precious brow hair?”
Anon
I am getting my father’s / Eugene Levy’s eyebrows as I age. Like some of them have some serious length and body on them. :(
Senior Attorney
You know the trick for that, right? Brush them straight up and then use little scissors to trim off anything that sticks up above the line you want your brow to have.
Cat
@SA, that works for people that have fine brow hairs to begin with. My brow hairs are long and coarse and grow decidedly parallel to the brow. If I took that suggestion I’d essentially have teen-boy stubble for brows, lol.
I pluck the few that are extra unruly and otherwise rely on gel to keep them locked in place.
Anon
I’m starting to get the random brow hair that is thick and wiry and grows straight out from my head, like little antennae. Bleh.
amberwitch
I am already far down the road towards the old man curly “horns” for eyebrows at age 45 – don’t think is is menopausal, as it started way back when. I use eyebrow gel as well as the brush up and cut – not where the eyebrow line is supposed to be, but further up, to avoid the stubble look.
Anonymous
Trim it with the scissors. The dye it. Don’t pluck. Your brows will get too thin.
In House Lobbyist
I have sparse, light brows and have them tinted a shade darker each time I get my hair done. It really makes a big difference and takes 5 minutes.
Anon
The food thread from this morning had me going down memory lane and had my mouth simultaneously watering and frowning in disgust (so much unseasoned food and cheese and mayo). Thanks for sharing guys.
Senior Attorney
I may have posted this before, but my husband and I always say we should have a potluck where the theme is “food your mom cooked when you were a kid.” Only problem is everybody would only bring the dish they brough themselves!
Senior Attorney
Only EAT the dish they brought themselves.
Anonymous
My mom was a terrible cook who fed us bland awful food on a daily basis, but everybody loves it when I make her signature potluck dish.
Anon
Do tell! My mother is/was a terrible cook, and the *only* thing I make from her repertoire is pumpkin pie.
Anon
My husband STILL jokes about some of the “gross” dishes my mom made when we were kids. His family is Sicilian, mine is German. He choked down some very fatty, greasy casseroles at my parents’ house.
Anonymous
Some of the things mentioned on that thread reminded me of a river trip I went on where each person/couple had to be in charge of dinner for one night. Most people did things like couscous, spaghetti, or stew that could feed a crowd easily and still offer flavor, but one woman brought several canned whole chickens. Google it for the grossest picture of chicken you’ll ever see…
Anon
I am afraid to google. Like how “whole” of a whole chicken is it??? And how big is the can?
Anonymous
Whole means what you think it means. The can is large. I skipped dinner that night.
Anon
Like they just killed the chicken and put it in some embalming stuff and canned it? I worked in a grocery store where they sold pickled pig’s knuckles in a translucent jar. At least the chicken people are using a can.
Anonymous
Meat in a can is always cooked.
Anonymous
This reminds me of the MASH episode where Houlihan and Winchester get food poisoning from eating a canned pheasant. Shudder.
Anon
Winchester would eat pheasant.
pugsnbourbon
Long ago we stopped at a Winn-Dixie in Brunswick, Georgia and discovered that canned whole chickens are, indeed, a thing. Didn’t have the courage to buy one and open it up, though I assume it didn’t look as pictured on the can.
Anon
I’ve bought one to open up. Not doing so was a good choice on your part.
Anon
So there is one regular picture.
And then Chewy.com sells an “organic” one but meant for dogs.
he pictures look the same. The pictures look the same!
Hollis
Wut? Is the canned whole chicken fully cooked? How is the skin not slimy?
Anon
Anyone else used to have Dinty Moore Beef Stew over rice? I loved it as a kid. Doubt I would love it now but it would be good to have in our storm rations.
Anonymous
We ate Dinty Moore camping, but never over rice.
Anon
I’ve eaten within the last 10 years and still like it. My grandparents ate it over white bread. Soggy white bread always grossed me out, so that’s a no from me. But I think it’d be good over rice.
Anonymous
The proper way to eat Dinty Moore is with canned biscuits on the side.
Anon
Dinty Moore OP here. So true story. My mom made the Dinty Moore w/ canned biscuits but one night my dad ate too many canned biscuits and got a bowel obstruction!!! That’s how we ended up switching over to rice. I really don’t think the biscuits caused the problem but he and my mom didn’t want to tempt fate.
Anon
Here’s another one for memory lane – Spaghetti-O’s with meatballs (in the can)!
Anonymous
And Alphaghetti!
Anonymous
After that discussion I felt pretty lucky that, while I ate a lot of Swanson’s TV dinners (esp. when we had babysitters) and then a fair number of Stouffer’s frozen meals (when I had athletic practice late and family dinner just mostly stopped happening), I was mostly the kid who was made fun of for eating adult and foreign foods from a very early age, we never ate canned vegetables, and my mother stopped cooking using canned soup pretty early in my life. But I still like some of the Stouffer’s dinners and eat them as comfort food. And I will always have room for some fake mashed potatoes. During an early pandemic shop, I bought a box of those scalloped potatoes based on decades-old memories, but they are still in the pantry.
Ekaterin Nile
I missed out on the earlier food thread because work got in the way, but I really want to honor my mom with some shared memories. She went back to school for her MBA in 1982 or so (post-divorce) and then–of course–worked full time. I don’t remember everyday meals but here are things she cooked that were amazing.
1. Beef stew with huge, ginormous, fluffy dumplings. I would kill for this recipe now. They were so good. I have never seen dumplings like that anywhere else.
2. Homemade bread on weekends. She would give us the heel, toasted, and with butter and cinnamon sugar. OMG.
3. Shepard’s pie. Delish.
4. Fried mashed potato cakes.
5. Tea biscuits. Hers were light and fluffy, and she took a little pride in the fact that there were better than her mother’s (they were).
6. And even though she was ALWAYS broke, sometimes we would beg her for McDonald’s when she got home from work on a Friday, and we would get it. I’d get a Happy Meal with a cheeseburger and orange soda. She also took us to Dairy Queen, and when my sisters and I are all together, we go to DQ in her honor.
I miss you, Mom. I wish you were still around so I could tell you how much better I understand you now that I’m older. Thank you for doing your best.
Vicky Austin
Your mom sounds like a straight-up badass. Thank you for sharing her with us. I hope you get to have a sister DQ trip very soon!
Ekaterin Nile
Thank you!
Love your handle, by the way.
Anonymous
If you want to eat steak at home, what cut do you buy? My general rule is to get it at a restaurant because they have the best cuts and know how to prepare it, but I’m not going into restaurants and not getting takeout for steak. I always thought filet mignon was fancy but while trying to prepare it at home found an article that called it “super 90s.” So what’s the cut of today (and why)?
Anonymous
We always buy ribeyes.
Vicky Austin
My husband did pan-seared ribeyes for Valentine’s and they were lethally good. And he didn’t do anything to them but salt, pepper and butter. Swoon.
I learned to cook steak on New York strip which I think is pretty good for when the occasion is just “wanted to eat steak at home.”
Senior Attorney
Costco has good ribeyes.
Anon
+ a million to ribeyes- season them well and don’t overcook. An instant meat thermometer is your friend
Anon
I don’t think a cut of beef can be “super 90s”. Filet mignon 4 lyfe!
Flats Only
Filet Mignon with a nice merlot, and a molten chocolate cake for dessert. Eat what you like, screw the trends.
Anon
You missed the mashed potatoes.
Anon
So there’s a trade off between tenderness and flavor. Filet is as tender as can be but doesn’t have a strong beefy flavor.
The toughest cuts have the most beefy flavor, but you’d never really cook them as steaks because they’re too tough.
So for me the compromise is a rib-eye. Still tender but enough toughness to have an excellent flavor.
anne-on
Buy what you like!
We alternate between NY strip and Filet for ‘steak for dinner’ nights inside as neither of us are big fans of fattier cuts. I am LOVING the reverse sear Senior Attorney mentioned last week – so easy! less clean up! super yummy and no worries about over or under cooking it!
For the grill we’ll usually do tri-tip, but for big holidays I absolutely do a tenderloin, aside from Jewish holidays which is brisket all the way.
Anon
Yes brisket!! Any good recipe to suggest? They all seem so labor intensive
Anne-on
The smitten kitchen cookbook (first cookbook) is my go to though I add about 4x the amount of smoked paprika. The real trick is to cook it a bit longer than it says, let it rest overnight (at least 12 hrs) and then warm it gently. Hence why brisket is a Sunday night food in our house, and I have been known to stay up late to make sure to get the brisket in the fridge before I go to bed.
Anon
I’m going to check that out – I really appreciate the suggestion! Sounds like it’s worth it…
Anon
Interesting—what I like about brisket is that it doesn’t seem labor intensive, no basting, etc. and the sauce is already made, pretty much. I will try and track down a source for the recipe I use. The key is laying aluminum foil in a t and putting the brisket and sauce in it and sealing tightly so all the juices stay inside. Slow oven, too.
Anon
Nice!!! Thanks :-)
Cat
We get NY strip.
Filet is ~fancy~ but IMHO not actually as flavorful as strip.
Anon
I have a comment in mod saying the same thing but inefficiently using many more words.
Anon
I’m a filet mignon devotee, the other cuts have too much fat for me (100% a flavor/texture thing, not because fat is unhealthy).
Bonnie Kate
Lol, food trends…that’s something I’m definitely not going to start following.
We buy filet mignon, because that’s the cut we like to eat whether we’re at home or in a restaurant. I buy it from a meat market and pick my own steaks. I don’t like fat, don’t like bones, and don’t want to cut around any of it – I like a filet mignon.
FWIW, some of the best takeout I’ve had during the pandemic was a steak dinner from a steakhouse trying to stay open. I was super skeptical but it was delicious, and I wish they were still doing it.
Vicky Austin
Filet mignon party? Dress code: side parts and skinny jeans.
Bonnie Kate
Yesssssss I see you!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :P :) :)
Vicky Austin
:D :D
Anon
I’m there!
Hollis
If you have a Costco nearby, get the seasoned tri-tip and just follow the directions (place in an oven for 30 mins. basically). It is so delicious and tender (cut across the grain). While you’re there, might as well throw some asparagus or broccoli in the oven to bake at the same time and dinner is ready.
We don’t buy steaks anymore – we just get seasoned tri-tip instead because the kids love it. Leftovers make a good steak sandwich the next day. They also sell non-seasoned tri-tip if you prefer the actual beef flavor of steak.
Anon
+1 for tri-tip. Marinade in a half & half mix of unsulphured molasses and wishbone Italian dressing (trust me, it works!)
Anon
No Costco tri-tip at my mid-Atlantic Costco, wah!
Anonymous
I was going to say that West Coasters don’t realize that tri-tip is a very regional thing. It is catching on, but it’s pretty hard to find over here on the right.
Anne-on
We get it in the summer in MA but they never seem to order much and it goes quickly! So good on the grill!
Anon
If you have access to a market or grocery with a knowledgeable butcher, they can cut you one. I love them because they are flavorful, tender and there is no waste. I eat very little meat, and this is one of the few cuts I’ll go out of my way for.
onpoint
So for a couple years I read tri-tip as “tai” tip (the font on the packaging was blocky) until one time after I sent my husband to the store to pick up Tai Tip. He had to ask at the butcher counter for the Tai tip, since there was only tri-tip on the shelves. I still smile about it when I am buying steak for dinner.
Anon
I always buy whatever’s on sale at the grocery store! Sometimes it’s sirloin, sometimes it’s NY strip, and for Valentine’s Day I got some filet mignons, planning to splurge but was pleasantly surprised to see they were on sale that weekend.
anonymous
I buy NY strip. I sprinkle both sides with sea or kosher salt and let it sit for 20-30 minutes. Rinse it off and pat dry before cooking. Then use a meat thermometer to cook it to the right temp.
Anonymous
based on yesterday’s breakfast discussion — so many people are baking bread! what are your favorite recipes that don’t require a breadmaker? thanks!
Tea/Coffee
I have been using this recipe for years:
https://artisanbreadinfive.com/2013/10/22/the-new-artisan-bread-in-five-minutes-a-day-is-launched-back-to-basics-updated/
It’s very forgiving so at this point the only thing I actually measure is the water. This is our standard bread, supplemented occasionally with challah if I have time and store bread if i don’t!
It’s really insanely easy and does get better after a day or two in the fridge.
Senior Attorney
I posted a bunch of links that ended up in mod so check back. Happy baking!
Senior Attorney
Oops nesting fail.
Senior Attorney
This is the one that got me started: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/11376-no-knead-bread
This one is easy and good if you like a more traditional loaf: https://butterwithasideofbread.com/homemade-bread/
Also this one (any anything from King Arthur flour’s site will be great): https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/english-muffin-toasting-bread-recipe
This has been my go-to lately: https://www.goodto.com/recipes/paul-hollywood-s-crusty-cob-loaf and look at this video to see how to shape it: https://www.bakewithjack.co.uk/videos/2017/2/15/bread-tip-24-how-to-stop-your-bread-dough-from-spreading-out
PolyD
That King Arthur English muffin bread makes FANTASTIC grilled cheese.
Anon
Obsessed since April 2020
https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-sourdough-bread-224367
Horse Crazy
https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/homemade-artisan-bread/
Senior Attorney
Hey, I tried this over the weekend and it was great! Thanks!
AnonATL
I love a good old fashioned banana bread. So easy. No worrying about under or over proofing. You can sub sugar and fats for healthier options. I’ve also had some success with diced apple cinnamon bread but that can be more hit or miss.
Focaccia is another one that is really hard to screw up if you want a traditional yeasted bread.
Anonymous
I could use the hive’s suggestions for concrete, easy/fast/inexpensive ideas for getting through the next few months of winter blah and pandemic work/health stress. I have worked extremely long hours in my public health role (I’ve been taking roughly two days off per month, including weekends – I’m trying to take all this weekend but am on call so TBD).
Current ideas:
* 10 minute stretching or yoga video. Aim for 3 days/week, but don’t beat myself up if it doesn’t happen (used to work out every day- I wear scrubs to work and am in the same size but they fit different.)
* write down 3 things I’m grateful for, every day. Even if every day is “co-workers, my pet, and coffee.”
* Send a card that can literally say “hello thinking of you” to a friend.
* Using masks – I got several sheet masks as a gift and I am trying to find times other than driving, eating, and sleeping to wear them.
Anon
–Bubble bath every other night. Soak with a good book or silly magazines.
–Commit to taking a different walk in an unfamiliar area once a week, even if it is just for twenty minutes.
–Purchase a couple of indoor plants to brighten your mood.
Anon
I am solidly behind the plant idea. I got my first indoor plants in April last year when I felt like I was spiraling, and they were a big mood lifter and distraction.
Anon
I wear a FitBit and I have to do my 250 steps/hour unless I’m in a meeting or hearing or something where I can’t get up from my desk. It really doesn’t take that much extra time out of my day and I feel so much better than when I sit in the same spot all day. The FitBit is key for me though as it vibrates at 10 of the hour if I haven’t met my hourly goal.
Bonnie Kate
5 minute dance parties in a closed room by yourself (thank you door with locks and AirPods), every day.
Also, it’s getting warmer-ish where I am (45 degrees tomorrow! ahhh! :)) – taking time to stand in the sun outside for at least a few moments every day.
Hollis
– Get some good tea and make it a daily treat! These days, I’m loving Bengal Spice tea from Celestial Seasonings, Chai (I buy Assam from Taylors of Harrogate and combine it with the Spicewalla Chai blend), and The Republic of Tea’s Ginger Peach Black Tea.
– Listen to a fun audiobook on your phone during drives/walks.
+1
Ugh. I’m sorry. In a similar role–HC attorney here barely hanging in there. Here’s what helping.
– Bluelight glasses!
– CBD oil tincture
– Hydrate like mad every day
– Bought a bike for at-home workouts bc making it to my socially distanced gym is difficult with my schedule/subscription includes non-biking classes too
– Get a standing desk situation (if you work at a desk)
– If I had a particularly rough day/late night, I pop some melatonin gummies before bed and the next morning go for a first-thing in the day walk, even if just for 10 minutes. Having that vitamin D exposure and reminding my body of it’s circadian rhythms has kept my burnout rate at a lower rate than when I stay inside for a whole week working.
– Reading fun books! Not having media (social or binging Netflix) in my wind down time is huge for me. It otherwise disrupts my sleep and my anxiety goes wild. I have found that reading fun books and watching one or two episodes of my favorite show (currently, the Crown) while wearing a mask or doing my toes feels splurgy/like a treat.
– Going out and getting Juice Bar to go.
– Splurging on groceries. Fueling my body well during this season has been invaluable! I’ve been splurging on Whole Foods groceries and it’s made reminded me that my hard work pays for this stuff.
– Daily gratitude practice
– Daily guided meditation practice in the morning and before bed (AND a super short one when I feel overwhelmed at work)
– Having an objective way to measure your recovery and how your body is doing. I got a Whoop band at the beginning of the pandemic and it’s been the absolute best way to care for myself and respect where my body is daily. Highly recommend if you’re in a high-paced, stressful job and/or if you enjoy working out.
– Bought a theragun knockoff to release all that tension. I use it during conference calls when I’m not talking, haha.
+1
Ugh. I’m sorry. In a similar role–HC attorney here barely hanging in there. Here’s what helping.
– Bluelight glasses!
– CBD oil tincture
– Hydrate like mad every day
– Bought a bike for at-home workouts bc making it to my socially distanced gym is difficult with my schedule/subscription includes non-biking classes too
– Get a standing desk situation (if you work at a desk)
– If I had a particularly rough day/late night, I pop some melatonin gummies before bed and the next morning go for a first-thing in the day walk, even if just for 10 minutes. Having that vitamin D exposure and reminding my body of it’s circadian rhythms has kept my burnout rate at a lower rate than when I stay inside for a whole week working.
– Reading fun books! Not having media (social or binging Netflix) in my wind down time is huge for me. It otherwise disrupts my sleep and my anxiety goes wild. I have found that reading fun books and watching one or two episodes of my favorite show (currently, the Crown) while wearing a mask or doing my toes feels splurgy/like a treat.
– Going out and getting Juice Bar to go.
– Splurging on groceries. Fueling my body well during this season has been invaluable! I’ve been splurging on Whole Foods groceries and it’s made reminded me that my hard work pays for this stuff.
– Daily gratitude practice
– Daily guided meditation practice in the morning and before bed (AND a super short one when I feel overwhelmed at work)
– Having an objective way to measure your recovery and how your body is doing. I got a Whoop band at the beginning of the pandemic and it’s been the absolute best way to care for myself and respect where my body is daily. Highly recommend if you’re in a high-paced, stressful job and/or if you enjoy working out.
– Bought a theragun knockoff to release all that tension. I use it during conference calls when I’m not talking, haha.
Anon
I know several people have asked for audiobook recommendations lately, and I think I’ve finally found a good one. I’m 30 chapters (about 2 hours) in, and so far it’s really interesting and the narrator is great! The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman and narrated by Lesley Manville.
Kelsey
Thanks for the recommendations. I’ve been meaning to chime in too but have not been reading Corporette in real time for awhile.
These audiobooks are well read and kept my attention:
– Gone Girl
– Rodham
– The Underground Railroad
– Unorthodox
I had to stop listening to these audiobooks after the first 3 hours because I got bored or lost (it may have been the reader or the fact that I stop and listen several times over the day):
– Anxious People (sorry – I know a lot of people said it was good, but it just dragged on for me).
– Eligible (love the author, didn’t see the point of the story)
– Sex and Vanity (no plot, or maybe slow in getting there? I loved the crazy rich asians series)
– The Duke and I (I loved Bridgerton but the book was just slow in my opinion)
– 50 Shades of Gray (just no)
Anonymous
Some books that I think are way better in audible format: Alice Feeney’s His and Hers and the You series by Caroline Kepnes (new one on Audible coming soon. Squee!)
Headachey
1000 Ships by Natalie Haynes – listened to it all in one go while knitting. I almost always fall asleep at some point during an audiobook but this was just gripping.
Panda Bear
+1 I loved this book!
Anon
I am replacing my 15 year old tempurpedic mattress, which is a heat trap, and buying new bed linens to go with it. Does anyone have a comforter or duvet they love? I’d like something very lofty, and am kind of indifferent on down vs down alternative.
Anonymous
I adore my hotel collection medium warmth down comforter from Macy’s. Also have the down alternative for the guest room and it’s nice but not as good for sure.
Anonanonanon
We got a Brooklinen duvet and cover during a sale and have no regrets.
KH
I got vaccinated today! Pregnant women just became eligible in my state. So thankful and yet so frustrated since I had to spend the entire time listening to the male pharmacist question my decision, tell me I should wait, and say that we just don’t fully understand the risks – all while wearing his mask below his nose. Apparently this genius has access to information not available to the American College of OBGYNs, the Society for Maternal Fetal Medicine, or the CDC.
Anonymous
Did you ask him to pull up his mask? Because you are pregnant, and you wouldn’t want to take any risks.
pugsnbourbon
If you went to a chain pharmacy, there’s likely a phone number or email where you can make a report if you are so inclined. At the very least, it would point out to the company that they haven’t provided their staff with the latest information.
Anon
Ugh. That is infuriating!!!!
LaurenB
I would tell him to mind his own business and pull up his mask while he’s at it. Ugh. How dare he question your decisions. This is bringing back memories of those rogue pharmacists who would refuse to fill birth control prescriptions …
Anonymous
Serious question — Are people whose medical masks are falling down wearing them upside down? Confused about the need to pinch the nose wire? What? I am so confused by this. (I’m not talking about fabric with no nose wire, though it seems like by now people should have figured that out, too.) I spent 30 minutes talking to an assistant yesterday whose medical-style mask kept falling down off her face. I was wearing something equivalent and mine sits securely across my face after I cinch the nosepiece. She’s pro-masking and has always worn one consistently at work and insisted on others doing the same and she pulled it up every time, which seemed like such a pain for her. I didn’t say anything to her — she’s vaccinated anyway — but I was baffled. What is the deal?
Anonymous
These masks are too large for many women’s faces. The nose wire isn’t meant to hold the entire thing up. There is a trick where you knot the ear loops and tuck in the pleats that helps some; wearing a properly fitted cloth mask over top will also help. They really need to start selling disposable masks in a variety of sizes.
anonshmanon
This. They sell one size fits all – that can’t actually work. How large someone’s head is, how far apart the ears sit, shape and size of the nose, all affect the fit. The simple elastic straps clearly aren’t made to be adjusted, so you have to rig it somehow, but a lot of people are hesitant to interfere with what they see as the default functionality of a thing. See also older people terrified of breaking their computer or phone and only doing the limited number of things they know exactly know how to.
Cat
Might have to do with your chin profile. I have a strong (lol) chin and masks stay up just fine when I’m not talking, but the strength of my jaw/chin when speaking pulls it down firmly, eventually working it off the tip of my nose.
Anon
It’s the ear pieces. They get stretched out or are too large to begin with, so the mask sags.
But it’s also dumbasses who say they can’t breathe in their masks so wear it intentionally halfassed/halffaced.
Annony
I’ve come to realize that my head is just designed for optimal mask wearing. The back of my head is weirdly flat, so straps that go around my head fall down. The top of my right ear is very short, so ear straps are constantly threatening to slip off. I’m Asian, and so I have a very low nose bridge and somewhat flat nose, so they also tend to slip down my nose if I’m not very careful. Once I have my mask situated, if I talk too much, it slips around.
Anon
I have a small head with a giant nose. Masks just swim around my features, except at the point they’re straining against the bulbous tip of my toucan beak.
Have you seen a pressure cooker with the little regulator that jiggles and revolves on the stem? That’s a mask on my face.
Anonymous
My ears don’t anchor a mask, I have to put clips in my hair to keep it from springing off.
LaurenB
Confession: The first week I wore masks (back in March 2020) I didn’t realize that there was a wire in them. (I wear the blue disposable surgical masks.) But we’re a year into this. A few weeks ago, I was in the post office and a woman in front of me kept having her (cloth) mask fall down. I couldn’t stand it so I put on my nicey-nice manners and said, “I bet you would like wearing the disposable masks, they would really prevent that problem, it must be so annoying!” and showed her how the wire worked. I kind of framed it like I was helping her out, like how you’d help out a woman who had some other clothing mishap. She was actually very receptive and asked where to buy them.
Soy Allergy and Picky Eater
I’ve always been a very picky eater. I think it’s a combination of midwest poverty (lack of childhood exposure to much that was not bland and over processed) and a texture aversion for many foods (no to anything even remotely spicy including mild salsa and cinammon, no heavily spiced anything including curry, no boba tea, no fat on any meat, no tomato insides, plus much more). Now I find that, at almost 40, I have become very sensitive to soy, resulting in migraines.
I have been trying to eat more salads and fruit but the carbs are mostly gone (grocery bakery and premade all have soy) and it seems all fast food and restaurants are gone. I was already so limited in my options and am already so locked down (super covid conservative in our fam), and this just feels like one more thing gone.
Sigh.
Senior Attorney
Do you have any interest at all in baking your own bread/rolls/pizza dough? The recipes I posted above are all really easy and contain, like, four ingredients not including soy. Also I made my own hamburger buns recently and they were easy and delicious: https://kristineskitchenblog.com/brioche-bun-recipe/
Anonymous
I have a picky kid with texture issues who can’t handle spice. We avoid ultra-processed foods and soy as much as possible. I am here to tell you that you are not as limited as you fear. My picky kid loves to eat and has learned to work around her issues to enjoy a wide variety of foods.
Curries are not spicy unless you add cayenne or other hot peppers. My picky spice-averse kid loves Indian, Thai, and Chinese curries as long as I leave out the hot peppers. I make curries so mild that my husband and I can’t stand them unless we add spice after the fact.
Neither my kid nor I can handle fat on meat. We don’t eat red meat, and I cook chicken in ways that render the fat off (braising, roasting, crock-pot) so we don’t have to deal with it. Or I trim the fat off and stir-fry it. Ground meat dishes (we use chicken, but you could do ground beef) are also your friend. I do a lot of stir-fry dishes with ground chicken. Larb, Thai basil chicken, the Korean beef from D@mn Delicious made with ground chicken, and so much more.
Tacos! Do you like fish tacos? Chicken verde? Gringo tacos with seasoned ground beef or chicken? Tings? Mole? Sautéed mushrooms? What about pasta? There are so many recipes for pasta with a roasted or sautéed veg and a quick pan sauce. What about lasagne or stuffed shells? My kid who hates contrasting textures loves both if we keep the filling texture uniform.
Soup is another possibility. Panini! Quesadillas! Tell us what you do like—I bet people will have lots of ideas.
Anonymous
Tinga, not tings.
Soy Allergy and Picky Eater
Thanks for being so kind! I don’t do any pasta or any rice, nothing asian (everything seems to be a texture concern or includes soy), I’ve never had most non-American cuisine so I don’t know anything about them (including Indian or others), no seafood, only white meat chicken and turkey, will eat red meat and pork, but universally no meat on bones or that at all looks like the animal it came from. However, I don’t cook meat at home on my own so those recipes go with when I visit family or if I am dating someone who cooks (the texture in prep and the sight of blood ruins it for me). I used to do TV dinners sometimes so I could have meat at home but those all have soy.
If calories and nutrients did not matter, I’d eat all the potatoes, delivery pizza, some simple salads (with one of very few non soy dressings), cereal to munch on, and basic smoothies and fruit. However, I know that is not an entire diet for an almost middle aged adult! I also think I’d begin to miss some types of desserts, especially since my taste buds want me to eat like a college kid (think drive thru foods and dollar store snack aisle).
I also eat super small portions naturally (unlikely to finish a happy meal in one sitting) and I live solo so buying big amounts of food gets tough when much goes bad before consuming unless I plan to eat the same food every meal for many days (which I’m not opposed to if I really love the food and it keeps or reheats well)!
Anonymous
I think what you’re describing is simply well out side the range of normal and that it’s worth talking to your doctor and seeing a dietician who can work with you to help you overcome some of these aversions and create a healthy and acceptable to you meal plan.
Outside of food, are you anxious? Treating anxiety can help with this.
Anonymous
+1,000
Anonymous
To avoid soy, you are going to have to cook mostly from scratch and make your own salad dressings. Check out the vegetarian recipe blog Cookie and Kate. She has a lot of great entree salads with variations to accommodate dietary preferences.
A baked potato with toppings (broccoli and cheese, caramelized onions, etc.) and a side salad is a nice healthy lunch or dinner. You can also put a lot of tasty things on top of a sweet potato.
AnonMom
That sounds miserable. Are you interested in advice? Or just venting?
If just venting, skip the rest.
If advice, I would suggest deciding whether maintaining your aversions is more important to you than giving something unfamiliar a fair chance to see if you might like it. There is a whole world of tasty, nutritious, non-soy food out there, but much of it is probably going to be a texture or have a flavor profile that you may need to cultivate a bit if you have been avoiding all but your familiar standbys until now.
The Lone Ranger
A large number of Brianna’s salad dressings are soy free, but salad dressing is one of the easiest things to make at home, including making only small portions and varying the tastes and flavors.
Anon
I eat a ton of salad and no commercial dressings. It’s easy to grind some fancy salt, olive oil and or a few drops of truffle oil on top. I also do lemon juice in lieu of dressing and it tastes *so* good.
Anonymous
Can you add canned beans or hard boiled eggs to your salads for protein? Can you cook whole grains like barley? Pulses, such as lentils? The grains and pulses cooked in broth will be tasty and provide carbs and protein. I like making my own vinaigrette, try one with apple cider vinegar or rice vinegar if you want something light. Also, have you tried soba noodles, they are buckwheat.
Anonymous
For carbs, check out all corn tortillas, that might work. Maybe hard taco shells as well (if not fried in soy oil).
Plum tomatoes are less «messy» on the inside, you might prefer them for your salads (the pulp pureed makes nice pizza sauce if you want to use the insides).
I love to make tortilla pizza: I add tomato sauce (just tomato in some form and some seasoning), maybe vegetables or ham/pepperoni, and some cheese, and bake very quickly until the cheese melts.
Anon
It might help to consult a nutritionist for ideas or even if you know someone who caters healthy food, you could talk to them about your limitations and see what they can come up with. It might also help to set some small goals for yourself – like once a week, you will try something new. Good luck!
Anon
I’m not entirely sure what your question is, but if it’s about what to eat, I think the answer is in the thread above: make your own bread. If you’re at home all day, it’s really easy and doesn’t take much hands on time. Once you have bread, I’m a big fan of things on toast, and there have to be some things that meet your other criteria. I like peanut butter and apple or banana or jam, avocado toast (might be a texture problem for you?), melted cheese, homemade hummus and veggies, cinnamon toast, jam and a fried egg (maybe weird, but other versions of egg sandwiches are also good), chickpea salad (sub tuna or chicken if you eat meat). Homemade pizza is also great and even easier than bread, plus you can make it with only toppings that work for you.
Student Loan Qs
Inspired by yesterday’s comments about student loan forgiveness, I have about $40k in remaining student loan debt. The loans originated as federally back loans, but I consolidated with a private lender several years ago. Is there a way to convert these back to federal loan status so that I may be eligible to participate in possible future loan forgiveness?
Anonymous
No