Weekend Open Thread

90 Comments

1. Did Banana Republic stop having frequent sales? I may be late to the party, as I pretty much stopped shopping for clothes in 2020, but I currently have a cart full of things that I’d be interested in trying but don’t want to pay full-price for. Any advice for scoring the best deals there?

   1. They don’t seem to be having the 40% off sales nearly as often as they did.

      I know we shouldn’t depend on sales and we pay too little for clothes blah blah blah, but I’m not paying 40% more for the same quality. I’ll consider 10-15% or maybe even 20%, but not 40%.

   2. On the subject of Banana, it looks like their inventory hasn’t turned over in nearly 6 months? I’m a little worried something is up and the brand is on its way out

2. I want to shout it from the rooftops but can’t for various reasons – I just finished the process for a new job that took almost 2 years, for a dream job that was such a long shot, it was a fantasy. I can’t believe it!!!

   1. Wow!!! Congrats! I’m so curious what this is but I understand if you can’t say.

      1. Thank you everyone! I’ve been reading here since at least 2007 and have enjoyed this community with all the changes through the years. I certainly have changed and developed a LOT.
         As for the position, all I’ll say is that it’s a popular setting for shows and movies :)

      2. Congratulations to you!! That is great news!

   2. Congrats! I had the same thing happen to me, took 20 months from application to job offer with over 1,000 people competing for the same job. I cried when I got the offer.

   3. Hooray!! Congratulations!!

   4. Congratulations! This is such a big deal – and I know so much hard work – and I hope you can shout it from the rooftops soon! :)

   5. That’s a great accomplishment! Wow. Impressive.

   6. Congratulations!

3. Because I’m basic, I’m very excited to pull out all my stocking caps that have the little puffball on top. I have black, plum and ivory. Love them all.

4. I find wool blends to be uniformly itchy, so I am team Puffer with a Drawstring Hood all the way!

5. Does anyone know from a logistical perspective if the kid COVID shots will need to be shipped to pharmacies? Is it a different product or can pharmacies just change the dose and give you what they have? Wondering if I can just make appointments for my kids next week and say they’re 18+ to get the appointment slot.

   1. They need to be shipped out. Our pediatrician just sent out an email that they hope to have them in the coming weeks and will be doing clinics to do the shots.

      1. This is correct. The packaging/labeling is different to avoid the change of an adult dose being administered to a child.

   2. Around here, I found the appointment systems were updated pretty quickly to accommodate the newly eligible. And I live in the Deep South where all the dumb people, racists, and anti-vaxxers in America live.

   3. It’s a different vial. It’s apparently a slightly different formulation than the adult vaccine, so they can’t just dilute an adult dose. The local CVS told me they expect to start appointments the week of Nov. 8.

6. Pfizer approved for kids 5 and up! Still leaves one of my kids unvaccinated, but it definitely improves the risk profile of our family as a whole.

   We skipped Thanksgiving altogether last year, but this time it will be all vaccinated people and one toddler. Not bad.

   1. We skipped last year too and even though my 4 year old is not vaccinated yet, we’re hosting my parents, SIL and BIL this year. All the adults are vaccinated and boosted. We have been so, so cautious and this isn’t risk free but I couldn’t bear another year without family.

      1. I assume you are all getting boosters before? Especially your parents if they were vaccinated when the became eligible. The news today about vaccinated people being spreaders has me back solo and inside for the foreseeable future except for the absolute necessary. I am cancelling holiday/travel plans for sure.

         1. This seems like quite an overreaction, why don’t you get a booster? They’re readily available.

            1. Um the above poster already said “and boosted” but +1, this is going to become endemic, get your booster and go.

            2. I will get a booster when 6 months have passed, but when did we go from “we have to protect each other” to “I’ve got mine and F all y’all”?

            3. Where do you see f y’all in those comments? Again, boosters are widely available and the US is tossing thousands of doses daily. If you don’t get one because of some misguided idea that it’s taking someone else’s that’s on you.

            4. The issue isn’t taking someone else’s booster. The concern is the fact that the vaccinated are just as good at spreading the virus as the non-vaxxed

         2. 4:24 here, yes the adults all got our boosters already, my SIL and BIL were the last ones to do it and they got them this week. My parents live a very low risk lifestyle and we’re asking my SIL and BIL to be more cautious than normal the week before they see us and take a rapid test right before they come (because of our unvaxxed kid).

            I’m sorry you’re canceling plans and feeling isolated. If I didn’t have a kid who was too young for the vaccine, I would be doing a lot more. I agree with others the virus is going to become endemic and all we can do is get our vaccines and boosters when we’re eligible and then go back to something resembling normal life. I might never do indoor dining again because the risk:reward ratio is not there for me when we can dine outside ~8 months of the year, but I’m certainly not going to never see my family on Thanksgiving again.

         3. Half my family is unvaccinated, so I am anxious about the holidays as well. And my suspicion that our autoimmune-prone genetics leave us susceptible to long COVID seems to have been confirmed by some relatives really, really struggling to bounce back (and yet they remain more afraid of the vaccines!).

         4. This is a ridiculous statement.

7. Foodies, what are you making this weekend? Since finishing work (it’s 9.15pm here) I have made a batch of snickerdoodles and some yummy harissa chickpeas baked with feta on top. Snickerdoodle recipe from Deb Perelman, chickpeas and feta from Elly Pear.

   1. I’m baking no-knead Dutch oven bread and making this granola: https://pinchofyum.com/big-cluster-peanut-butter-granola Pro tip: Trader Joe’s has the best honey-roasted peanuts!

   2. Coconut rice and beans with mojo chicken

      I am single and that plus spinach or salad or peas will be dinner the whole week. Frozen veggie burgers for lunches unless I have it in me to make hummus and shop for vegetables.

      I am not really cooking like a foodie these days.

   3. I made gingersnaps tonight to snack on while watching the latest episode of Bake Off! (King Arthur flour recipe)

   4. I managed a batch of chocolate chip cookies from scratch and will be attempting some pumpkin brownies for Sunday.
      I’m going to push through the cold flu whatever I’ve been fighting to read a ghost story online for my friends and then celebrate with pumpkin beer.
      I’m in London where pumpkin beer doesn’t exist, but we expats have a pumpkin-spice + guinness trick… well – I’m not allowed to say more.

   5. I’m making a butterfinger cake for the weekend… TBD if it gets shared with my hobby friends on Saturday evening or Halloween friends on Sunday :) I got into cake baking and decorating during quarantine and I’m having so much fun perfecting my skills. I’m getting pretty good, actually, and it’s fun to try new recipes and designs. The butterfinger cake looks like it’s actually chocolate cake layers with a cream cheese + whipped cream filling, complete with crushed and whole fun-size butterfinger bars. I’m VERY excited to taste it!

   6. A vegan version of Pumpkin Crumb Cake for Sunday morning breakfast. I’m also experimenting with tofu scramble … we have vegan house guests.

   7. Cranberry pie.

   8. Vegan chocolate cupcakes. Pork chive dumplings. And beef spinach dumplings for the baby.

      It sounds like a lot but I’ve made these so many times I’m pretty efficient!!!

8. I have this weird, general sense of foreboding this week that I can’t seem to shake. I don’t have depression or any other known health conditions – any tips for shaking this?

   1. Super rational response: get outside, get some good exercise, get good sleep, etc. It will pass.

      Taking it more seriously as a gut feeling: figure out what specifically you’re worried may happen, and take any steps that would make you feel more prepared if it did happen. Or, check the status of anything you’re worried about and don’t have updated info on.

      I would likely use both approaches if I had a “general sense of foreboding.”

   2. I get like this when I feel like I’m forgetting something or have back-of-mind worries — usually resolved when I think about each plate I have spinning and make a list :)

   3. Sometimes when I feel that way I lean into it and allow myself to feel that way. I might even wallow a bit in sad movies & such. I find that allowing myself to feel my feelings enables me to work through them faster than if I try to shake it off.

   4. Did you drink a lot this week by any chance? When I drink too much I get a days long mental hangover that includes a lot of dread and anxiety.

      But otherwise, exercise and sleep.

   5. I know this is a logic-driven group given the heavy law aspect, but…sometimes you’re just in tune with stuff. I’d be extra cautious.

      1. ‘In tune’ isn’t illogical – there is plenty of evidence that our animal brain picks up a lot of information our conscious self doesn’t. Take for example studies of human sweat – people smelling fear sweat vs normal sweat samples (without knowing that is what they are smelling) have the fear center of their brain activated. Think ‘the gift of fear’ and picking up on micro-expressions we don’t consciously register. Or the ‘sense of very serious immediate impending doom’ that sometimes precedes things like a life-threatening medical event.

9. Well, the thyroid mass biopsy came back and it looks like it’s likely lymphoma. I’ll post again next week (and I’ll see the doctor Tuesday) but does anyone have anecdata on treatment and prognosis? If tissue biopsy confirms the diagnosis, should I try to transfer away from our general hospital to the cancer center in my city?

   1. Yes. Go to the Cancer Center. The treatment and prognosis depends on the type of lymphoma. Many are treatable/curable. Hugs – I am pulling for you!

10. Ugh, posting again to get out of mod.
    Well, the thyroid mass biopsy came back and it looks like it’s likely lymphoma. I’ll post again next week (and I’ll see the doctor Tuesday) but does anyone have anecdata on treatment and prognosis? If tissue biopsy confirms the diagnosis, should I try to change away from our general hospital to the cancer center in Seattle (Fred Hutch)?

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that. I would definitely try to get a consultation with Fred Hutch if you’re local to the area. There may be better treatment options or clinical trials available to you (compared to your regular doctor) and it would be ideal to get in early in case there are current opportunities. Please keep us posted and best of luck navigating this process.

    2. I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m also waiting to see the doctor for diagnosis of something that’s much, much more likely to be a (still life altering) chronic condition than cancer, but it’s stressful and painful while I wait and the uncertainty is hard. I don’t know anything about lymphoma, but this internet stranger is thinking of you and wishing you the best.

       1. Ugh. That’s super hard too.

    3. I’m so sorry to hear that. I was one of the people with a thyroid nodule who posted last week and I’d been thinking about you and hoping for the best. I hope you get good news from the doctors as far as a treatment plan and prognosis, but I know it must be scary especially with a new baby.

       I don’t know if this anecdote helps at all but my dad had surgery for thyroid cancer this year and the recovery from it was really not bad at all. My dad is a fairly big wuss about pain but he didn’t take pain meds beyond Tylenol after he got home from the hospital, and his voice was only hoarse for a few weeks and is totally back to normal now. He had some urinary tract complications that resulted in him having a catheter for a while but I think that was due to being an old man with an enlarged prostate and young women aren’t at risk for those issues.

    4. Curious, you’ll know more after your Tuesday appointment. The doctor will go over your pathology report and be able to tell you if you have a common lymphoma or a rare lymphoma, and also describe its characteristics and a likely general course of treatment. She’ll advise you whether you need specialized care.

       I am so sorry about this. Try to stay off the Internet this weekend. Dr. Google is not your friend. Do things that make you happy and help you relax.

    5. I’m so sorry. I don’t have useful information, although I’m sure others will rally. But I’m thinking of you and wishing you strength and health. From your posts around here you’re obviously a sensible and thoughtful person who will be able to make good decisions about this. Hugs if you want ’em.

    6. I can’t speak directly but I found out I have colon cancer at 46 a few weeks ago (will stage as 2 or 3 after surgery Monday) and one of the things that has helped me the past few weeks is being selective on whom I tell. It’s been hard to manage my own feelings and I don’t always have bandwidth and I still want to pretend things are normal sometimes. I also had some extremely awful reactions from some of the first few people I did tell—stories of other people with completely other medical situations much worse or much better as to brush off my circumstance, discussion of why they think I would be more at risk than them (I’m not, but I think it’s a weird coping mechanism or something), immediate discussion of how this will be financially draining, etc. Just oof. Later folks I broke the news via email so I didn’t have to be subjected to foot in mouth. I also set ground rules—no discussions on social media, no sharing my diagnosis with anyone outside of the group being told, no conjecture on my level of risk or prognosis, etc. If it is cancer, then put your own emotional needs first. It’s not your job to have to be the boss me to make others feel better about your diagnosis.

       1. Thank you.

       2. Also, I’m sorry you’re facing this, and I’m bummed on your behalf that people’s reactions were so weird. Thank you for sharing what’s going on and the advice.

    7. Curious, I’m a lymphoma survivor – in remission for 27 months from an NHL and I’m an armchair expert in navigating lymphoma. I’m also a Fred Hutch patient (local to Seattle), transferring there after my original oncologist didn’t seem to have a good understanding of my rather rare NHL. If it’s an NHL and not diffuse large Bcell lymphoma DLBCL or Mantle Cell, it’s likely indolent (slow growing, low death rate). But DLBCL and Mantle cell are faster growing but still have a much better survival rate than even 2 years ago. There are lots of molecular markers that help with prognosis. Classical Hodgkin’s I know less about. I also am on a few FB groups and run my own about NHL research. FB groups are a good way to learn about new treatments and navigate treatment side effects. I was never a FB user before lymphoma but it is isolating to have lymphoma and I didn’t know anyone IRL who had it.

       I love my oncologist at Fred Hutch – Stephen Smith, an NHL expert, but there are others like Ajay Gopal. I read a book at my initial diagnoses and the doctor who wrote it said that *every* cancer patient should get a second opinion. You can even get a second opinion at Fred Hutch and then they will work with your original oncologist on the treatment plan. I did that until I transferred permanently.

       If you want to contact me, send me an email. I’d be happy to talk via phone if you want also. happy77peanut at email of g. Good luck. It’s scary but you can get through it.

    8. I’m sorry. The people I happen to know who have had lymphoma had very different treatments and prognoses; they are both okay. I think the type of lymphoma matters for treatments. I hope you you will get the biopsy results soon and that you learn more on Tuesday.

       One way I personally would research general hospital vs. cancer center is by connecting with patients once I know the exact Dx (whether that’s a Facebook group, a listserv, or a support group) to hear what others’ experiences have been (I know doctors often caution that there are “all kinds” in support groups, but I don’t feel it’s that hard to tell who is a sensible person). It could be they take different approaches and I like the hospital’s better, or the cancer center’s better, or it could be the hospital takes it cues from the center and they’re not that different; I would just try to learn some more first.

    9. Sorry, Curious. Let me know if you need anything at all- triple vaxxed and happy to help. Email is username + e t t e at gmail.

       I’d go to Fred Hutch, I had to go to a hematologist once for a weird blood clotting thing and they are absolutely incredible.

       1. Thank you so much, Sloan.

    10. I’m so sorry to hear this news. Fortunately, lymphoma is one of the “better” cancers to get, if you have to get cancer (and honestly, most of us will if we live long enough….). It is true that there are different subtypes, but most are very treatable and people do very well.

        Fortunately, you also live near an excellent academic center and you absolutely should go there for your care. For cancer and most complex or rare disorders you should go to the best academic or specialty hospital in your area, as long as it is reasonably convenient for your care. And even if it is a little far away, go there for a second opinion, and their input can sometimes help guide the care/treatment at the more local hospital.

        I know the Fred Hutchinson center is a famous research institute for cancer, but I’m not sure if the clinical care is done there or done primarily at U of Washington. Where was your biopsy done? Who ordered it? Ask that doctor where you should start. You will be looking for an oncologist who specializes specifically in lymphomas. There are oncologists who subspecialize in this. The webpage for the hospital was pretty useless at first glance for listing the specialties. Try calling U of Washing hematology/oncology department tomorrow and ask which doctors treat Lymphoma. If the person answering the phone doesn’t know, ask if you can speak to the clinic manager. Then ask them…. “if your mother had lymphoma, who would you want to treat them?” And then look the doctor up online and ask your PCP for input.

        Good luck. You can do this.

    11. Curious, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m a doctor in Seattle (on sabbatical and zero chance that you’d be my patient!), and the Hutch is a great option, especially if there’s anything unusual about your lymphoma. Cancer care at Swedish is also excellent. There are many, many kinds of lymphomas, so it’s hard to say anything specific about treatment/prognosis, but many lymphomas are curable these days. Lmk if I can help with anything — I can set up an anonymous email if you want to chat more.

    12. Thank you all. I read this last night after a cuddle with husband and baby and felt like there was a whole additional community there for us :).

        1. Curious my long reply is in mod. 2+ year lymphoma survivor. I’m in Seattle at Fred Hutch. Email me at happy77peanut at the gmail if you want.

           1. I emailed you – look for corporetteburner Gmail.

              1. And thank you :)

              2. I sent you a reply. xoxoxo

    13. I would go to Fred Hutch if I were you. A comprehensive cancer care center has more specialists, more services, and may offer trials you qualify for. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year I was living 1/2 mile down the road from a small cancer center attached the local hospital. I considered going there for treatment because it would have been convenient but ultimately decided to have all my cancer care at an NCI-designated comprehensive cancer care center that was 150 miles away. It was a 5-hour round trip drive to every appointment, infusion, and surgery, and luckily I had support to help me get there and back each time. I’m good now and I think my outcome would have been the same. But I would still choose the cancer center every time if possible.

11. Mom’s site is dead over the weekend so asking here – recs for a 2 year old birthday gift for a kid who “likes building things”? She has an older sibling with similar interests and they already have all the legos, magnatiles, megabloks, marble runs, etc. I’m a parent too but am at a complete loss as to what to get. Normally for people who have tons of toys I get books or art supplies but that doesn’t really fit with the kiddo’s interests.

    1. nice beach sandcastle stuff?

    2. Are you saying a two year old’s preferences are so firm that nothing else will interest them?

    3. Get them a kite they color, a single use kit, Jenga, or a start your own garden type kit that is super kid friendly.

    4. What about one of those fort-building toys? The 2 year old might (would) need some help for a while, but would still like playing with it. Or, I’ve gotten some specific magnatile type things before, such as to build a Ferris wheel, or a train. So you might be able to find an add-on kit they don’t have that would be fun!

    5. I would just get a board book about building things, construction workers, etc.

    6. At two my kid was obsessed with the Fisher Price bubble lawn mower. What about Lincoln Logs?

    7. kinetic sand, playdoh, finger paints. Mostly still building related, just a different kind of building.

    8. Amazon sells these flower building toy sets that are sort of like blocks. Great for a 2 year old and more obscure.

       1. Yes! This was just what I was looking for and hadn’t thought of. Thanks.

12. Any AUSAs here who do appellate work? Do you like your job? It seems like an amazing gig to me – and a spot for an appellate criminal AUSA a job has opened up in my city, which almost never happens. I’m going to apply but want to make sure I know what I would be getting into. I’m a biglaw litigator and have been told I’m making partner this year. I love being an appellate litigator, I don’t love biglaw (I’m burnt out and not enamored of our types of clients either; I just want to do good, interesting work, not all the client schmoozing and politicking….and 80 hour work weeks). I did lots of criminal work as an appellate clerk and loved it, though I’ve done little criminal stuff in private practice (some pro Bono and white collar).

    1. Most AUSAs make very little money, like under 6 figures. They are not on the GS scale and make significantly less than main DOJ attorneys. It’s what has stopped me from moving from main justice to a US attorney’s office.

    2. The comment below is off. I am an AUSA and make low six figures. But that’s a little beside the point- you didn’t ask about salary, which presumably you know, because it’s publicly available. You asked if criminal AUSAs like their jobs. And the answer is – yes! Go for it! It has the highest job satisfaction of any workplace I have ever had. The work is substantive and interesting, the bullshit is minimal, the camaraderie is great. Caveat that this is my office, though- I have never worked in another district. But if you’re burnt out in big law, what do you have to lose?

13. I’m looking for riding boots—tall shaft, flat, metal trim. 6 pm has 15 kinds, but none in a size 10 like I need. I know there is a similar site, think it has blue in the name, can’t remember the rest. Can anyone help me out? Tia.
    https://www.6pm.com/filters/women-shoes/CK_XAToCohVCAgYHwAEB4gIEAQgYBw.zso

    1. Bluefly. I also sometimes get lucky with Nordstrom Rack online.

14. Anyone here who is pursuing public student loan forgiveness see the new “waiver” in effect? It seems as though more payments will qualify, but it’s hard to know which ones. I am someone who made A LOT of extra payments over the years, not anticipating ever being eligible for forgiveness. I am hoping those payments will now be counted and that I’ll qualify and maybe even get a refund, but it’s so difficult to discern.

15. I want to buy some potted orchids to brighten my home. Is there any difference in quality between the orchids sold at Trader Joe’s and a dedicated nursery? Any tips on caring for orchids?

    1. What kind of orchid are you interested in?
       If you live up north, Cymbidiums are the most cold tolerant and can handle being outside much of the year. I live in north Florida and can’t do a darn thing with them.
       Phalaenopsis are the most common ones you see in grocery stores. They do okay in most windowsills – check out the American Orchid Society’s care sheets. Don’t do the ice cube thing – that’s BS marketing crap that is terrible for the plant. That said, mass-market phals aren’t bred with longevity in mind, so while they tend to rebloom given sufficient care, they don’t always.
       If you live in a warmer area, I recommend plants from the Cattleya alliance. They can handle more intense light and warmer temperatures. These are the classic corsage orchids and are most of what I grow. Once you find a spot where they do well, they’re really easy – water if there’s a drought and cover or bring inside when temps are <40.
       Vandas and Dendrobiums can also handle more intense sun and higher temps, but are a bit picker about lower temps. I have a few of both, but can't be bothered to bring them in as early as they'd like, so I usually lose one or two in the winter.
       The American Orchid Society is a great resource and they have care sheets on all the common types.

16. Looking to purchase a traditional leather work tote but…what do you do with your lunch if you bring it to work. What kind of insulated lunch bag fits best in a leather tote? I usually only bring a sandwich and a snack so I don’t need a giant lunch bag, but still, they can get quite bulky. What do other folks do and still look stylish?!

    1. I use a Stainless steel bento box. Works for me.

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