Weekend Open Thread

147 Comments

1. Y’all are so great with book suggestions, I wanted to put one out there.

   I’m looking for a mystery that isn’t necessarily a cozy or a thriller, but also doesn’t have a detective solving it. By not a thriller, I mean the protagonist isn’t being pursued/in danger, and pacing that’s a bit slower than the stereotypical thriller.

   1. Harry Potter?

      1. Yeah, Harry’s never in danger in the books! /s

         1. At least the first two books qualify!

      2. I love this for this reason because you already know how it ends :)

   2. The Shadow of the Wind series (Carlos Ruiz Zafon) might work for this?

      1. That…is a series!? Nice, now I know my next read : )

      2. These are some of my all-time favorite books. I get so excited when I see them recommended!

         1. Me tooooooo! Love those books!

   3. Winter in Madrid by CJ Sansome? It’s older but what about Special Topics in Calamity physics? Or the Flavia de Luce series.
      Maisie Dobbs would be obvious if you didnt say no detectives.

      1. I think Maisie Dobbs might still be a good fit for this request. She’s definitely not a conventional detective and the books tend to be a bit slower paced. And to second some of the recs below, I also loved The Westing Game as a kid and liked The Plot, but can’t remember if that ended up in thriller territory by the end. There are VERY few mysteries where the protagonist doesn’t end up in some level of danger at the end so I can’t tell if you’re objecting to that even as a minor element or only if it’s most of the book. If that’s okay in small amounts, I also liked Clark and Division, about a Japanese-American family that moves to Chicago after being in an internment camp.

         1. I wouldn’t call The Plot a thriller, but it’s not a happy ending for the protagonist, to put it mildly.

         2. +1 to Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear. It’s a great series

   4. Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead?

   5. Where the Crawdads Sing, Bitter Orange, The Survivors, Apples Never Fall, The Plot?

   6. Not fiction, but reads like it–Red Notice by Bill Browder.

   7. The Westing Game? Was one of my favorites as a kid.

      1. For another kid book, The Egypt Game. There is a scene of danger at the end but the kids aren’t being chased the whole time.

   8. I think you might like Lisa Jewell’s the night she disappeared.

   9. Thank you so much for the recs so far! I’ve added a bunch of these to my to-read list because they look great.

      A tiny explanation about why I’m searching in case it’s helpful. I’m trying to write a book that’s a mystery, but more character-focused than most thrillers, though there is some violence that happens on-page so not exactly a cozy. None of the characters are detectives. I’m trying to add in more tension and am trying to see how real authors do that other than by having someone chasing the protagonist. An element of danger is totally fine, I am just trying not to make that the main focus. Where the Crawdads Sing and to some extent Razorblade Tears are sort of the mood of my piece (there was some element of chasing/danger in Razorblade Tears but I didn’t feel like that was the main driver of the action).

      Again, I really appreciate the suggestions so far and am adding them to my ever-growing stack.

      1. I think you’re describing a literary mystery. One option – Possession, by AS Byatt. It is a mystery, but character-based. It’s also my favorite book. A few others: Case Histories, by Kate Atkinson; all the Tana French Dublin Murder Squad books.

         1. Seconding Tana French for tension-building! Her most recent two novels are not focused on detectives.

         2. Aren’t Case Histories and the other Jackson Brodie books standard detective fiction? I enjoyed them but I wouldn’t call them literary mystery.

      2. Anthony Horowitz mysteries have a bit of the “not official detective detecting” plot about them, though some danger.

         Some of the Agatha Christie novels aren’t Hercule or Marple – Tommy and Tuppence are fun.

         A book like Life after Life isn’t exactly a mystery per se but you’re involved in how the main character’s life changes based on making different decisions so it feels like you’re feeling your way through “solving” with her.

         1. oh, and “adventure” stories might help you – like Into Thin Air or Shadow Divers. There is the threat of danger due to the inherent risks of the activity, but not out of a person being chased, and the challenges of the people involved make for compelling reading.

         2. I just read a few of the Tommy and Tuppence books and would say they’re definitely more thriller than most Christie books, but they were pretty fun light reads and hold up remarkably well considering that the first one is 100 years old this year!

      3. Highly recommend Julia Heaberlin’s We Are All the Same in the Dark. The way the story moves and the character development is really unusual. Just very well written.

      4. The Isabel Dalhousie books by Alexander McCall Smith sound like gentle versions of what you are seeking.

      5. Maybe Liane Moriarty’s newest one: Apples Never Fall?

         1. Agree, I think Liane Moriarty in general.

      6. This sounds really cool – enjoy writing your novel! And I see why you want to read more from published authors in the genre, but just wanted to pick on a word you used – you are a “real” author :) you are authoring something! Enjoy and let us know how it goes :)

         1. Thank you for your vote of confidence! The imposter syndrome is real. I will definitely share if this makes it beyond the “drafts” folder on my laptop. In the meantime, I went to my favorite bookstore over the weekend and loaded up on a bunch of these.

   10. Piranesi!

       1. I was going to say this too.

   11. The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris; The Devil May Dance by Jake Tapper (still might count as a thriller); Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead has measured pacing, but still some points of danger

   12. The Christie Affair. The protagonist is not a detective. There’s a detective of sorts in the book who is a minor character. My sister sent it to me and I really had a great time reading it. The situation is more relationship oriented than crime/pursuit.

   13. Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Book Store by Robin Sloan.
       The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz is written from the perspective of a writer (Anthony Horowitz) trailing a detective.
       If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio.
       The Wonder by Emma Donague.
       The 7.5 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle.
       The Searcher by Tana French (though the MC is a retired detective).
       The Bookman’s Tale by Charlie Lovett (there is a pursuit and danger, but it’s still not a thriller).

       1. + 1 to Robin Sloan.

          It’s been a little while since I read it, but Camino Island by John Grisham?

          1. I enjoyed Sloan’s “Sourdough” as well.

   14. The Royal Spyness mystery series from Rhys Bowen.

   15. You might check out some Agatha Christie novels that don’t have a detective.
       The secret of Chimneys
       Seven dials mystery
       Why didn’t they ask evans ?
       Sparkling cyanide

       There are a few more.

   16. The Maid

   17. The Franchise Affair by Josephine Tey should fit your bill. The protagonist is a country solicitor in a nondescript English small town. There are a few problematic issues in terms of derogatory class descriptions, but it’s well written as a mystery and should fit your research bill.

       You might also like The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey. While the protagonist IS a detective, the mystery he’s trying to solve, from his sickbed in hospital, is several hundred years old.

       Generally, you’ll find lots of mysteries that fit your bill if you look at “The Golden Age” mysteries and skip the most famous ones (Lord Peter Wimsey, Poirot, etc.). Try Ngaio Marsh, for example.

   18. May I plug my own book here? Single-mom and very much not-detective solves a disappearance. No gore/violence, no real danger, a bit cozy. Beach read thriller is what I call it.

       The Downline:

       “Mika Jenson, struggling single mom and hopeful #bossbabe working her multi-level-marketing business, is in awe of her closest friend and fellow sales rep Bree Kendell. Bree has it all: a thriving downline and business, a gorgeous husband who dotes on her, a big custom-built house in a gated community, and a closet full of designer shoes. On the surface, Bree looks perfect—rising from success to success all while being effortlessly flawless. It’s only on a closer look that the frayed edges start to come into focus…on an ordinary Tuesday, when Bree disappears.

       Left with few leads and little hope, Mika soon finds herself torn between shoring up an increasingly foundering personal business and sorting out a confusing tangle of facts trying to figure out what happened to Bree. The illusion of success and wealth in their multi-level marketing scheme unravels more and more with each tug on the threads that tie Mika and Bree together.

       And as Mika digs deeper into Bree’s life, she uncovers dark secrets and darker misdeeds—some so dangerous that someone might kill to keep them buried. The ladder of success in multi-level-marketing only goes in one direction—up to the top. But sometimes it’s the Downline you have to keep your eye on.”

       The Downline, Amazon Kindle or Paperback https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09693QXTJ/

       1. OF COURSE you can plug your book here! Thank you for sharing it, and I can’t wait to read it. This has been quite a journey. It’s encouraging to see others succeeding at it!

2. What kind of fabric should I be looking for to keep pants from stretching out over the day. I’m looking for elastic waist comfy pants that I can wear in public and don’t look like pajamas. Some seem great initially but over the course of the day they get all baggy in the seat and knees and I end up liking like a slob. Is there some kind of fabric combo I should be looking for to help soft pants retain their shape?

   1. It may just be quality? My $25 ($50 MSRP) Calvin Klein ponte leggings sag, but someone recently recommended the Universal Standard moro ponte pants as not going out at the knee by the end of the day.

   2. I like my Spanx Faux Leather Joggers.

   3. Something with a substantial amount of lycra/spandex in it or that is 100% synthetic (polyester or nylon, not rayon – rayon stretches a lot, as does cotton). Wool is pretty elastic but probably not softpant goals.

   4. I really like my Loft pull on ponte straight legs. They look good enough that I have actually worn them to a client board meeting. I suggest sizing up if you are thicker in the middle.

   5. I really like the chicos tailored ponte leggings. They’re not as tight as leggings but are really just skinny ankle pants. They don’t sag for me and are really comfy.

   6. I highly recommend these! I have both the black and blue pair, and wear them to my law office:
      https://www.costco.com/dalia-ladies'-pull-on-pant-with-drawstring.product.100779829.html

   7. I’d stay away from ponte unless it’s relatively stiff to the feel. Stick with a cotton twill or some of the polyester “tech” ones (Uniqlo used to have some, nic & Zoe recently had a tech fabric).

   8. Betabrand pants do this for me – don’t stretch or look like pajamas after wear. The fabric is good quality and heavy. And they’re intended to be comfy and wear all day.

   9. Woven wool, woven technical fabrics or scuba style technical fabrics.

3. Need recs for dinner and brunch in San Francisco – going to a show at the Masonic and staying by Union Square. Prefer outdoor dining, and no Indian/Asian food please.

   1. I recommend the Stinking Rose! It has reopened on Columbus Avenue and it is delicious if you like Garlic! I went there with my mom and dad years ago, and it was great! The pandemic resulted in it closing, and it moved a block and is now reopened! I am providing the link so that you can see for yourself. Hopefully, Kat will let the link go through as I have no connection whatsoever to the restrunt, and it is very healthy to eat garlicky things! If you are married, your husband will understand, and if not, and you meet a guy who likes garlic, so be it! YAY!!!!
      https://thestinkingrose.com/
      https://thestinkingrose.com/menu1.html

   2. If you would prefer dinner before the show to be close to the venue, Del Popolo is my go to for this. Make reservations asap, I think they have some outdoor seating. It is walkable/very close to the Masonic but does involve a very large hill, so maybe don’t wear heels!

   3. I like Cafe Claude on Claude Lane, casual French.

      1. Ooh I love Cafe Claude. Good pick

   4. I like Cafe de la Presse near Union Square

   5. Go to Nob Hill Cafe or the bar at the Huntington hotel. Both are right by the Masonic and classic, old school SF with good food. Nob Hill Cafe is Italian, the Huntington is perfect for a burger and a martini. Do not go to Del Popolo and walk up that hill unless you want to be annoyed. Uber and Lyft are your friends here.

4. What is going to happen with Russia and Ukraine? I went to bed last night with Russia attacking the largest nuclear reactor in Europe and part of it on fire (now we know: an outbuilding, but STILL), pretty sure that this has to cross a line in the sand (sure, Putin isn’t bombing NATO but if it is doing sh*t like this it’s not like the winds will never blow from east to west). And now . . . I’m just shaking my head, furiously reading all of the news, and feeling like I’m living out the Game of Thrones finale, except that there is no Jon Snow coming to save us after too many horrors to civilians.

   1. Is it awful that I’m sticking my head in the sand because everything is too terrible to contemplate?

      1. No. I do this from time to time too. My philosophy is that if you’re doing your best to help with some problem in the world, it’s ok if you need to tune out other problems in order to keep going. Including existential threats.

      2. I’m doing this as well. Otherwise, my anxiety spikes through the roof.

   2. idk but I am finding some comfort in gallows humor.

      My favorite tweet today was something like “I knew history repeated itself but wasn’t expecting the entire 20th century in the span of 2 years”

      1. Oh thank you I needed this.

      2. That’s great. I needed that today.

      3. I like the “spot the Finnish sniper” one.

   3. Dad says it is more serius then people think because Putin is a ruthless tyrant. At first, he thought he could just roll over Ukraine, but they are fighters, so he is taking a different approach–surround and starve them out, and send missiles in. It is difficult to believe that one beady-eyed schmendrick can cause such havoc, but Dad says he can because everyone in Russia is afraid of him and his oligarks.

      I recommend you not loose to much sleep over this as there is nothing we can do other then to find bomb shelters left over from the 1960’s, if any and move in.

      In NYC, we have the subways, but the homeless have already claimed the best spots. FOOEY!

5. Somehow, I’ve ended up doing some speech writing in my job. Any ideas for resources for how to write messages for the talking heads? I feel like I have the basics down, but that my finished products are lacking that extra something that makes it memorable.

   1. Will your org support you getting external training? Speechwriting is a specialized skill and it’s probably worth it to find some professional training. My federal agency has an independent contractor that they bring in to provide 1:1 training to senior staff who are asked to write speeches.

   2. I don’t give “speeches” per se but I do a lot of public speaking. I find it effective to return to the same theme, motif, or phrase a handful of times throughout a talk.

   3. Also, is it George Lakoff who writes books on framing and political language? There might be something there for you.

      1. It is!

6. Has anyone here overcome an irrational difficulty with staying home from work?

   I’ve slowly realized that I’m terrible at recognizing when I should call out, go home, or take leave. If I actually do, I usually feel guilty and I second-guess it. Even when my Dad died, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that I might need a break. (Granted, I was in grad school at that time, but looking back I really think I should have eased up in some way for at least a little while. I was teaching alongside my own academic work.)

   Yes, I was raised by work horses who were very reluctant to let me stay home from school sick. Coming up, I got the message from various authority figures (as many of us “overachievers” do) that a true professional soldiers on no matter what. At one point, one of my peer colleagues was even told that their parent’s su!cide was “character-building” and not any excuse to slow down. People would brag about the awful circumstances in which they came to work every day without fail–the clear implication being that taking time off is for losers.

   Intellectually I know better than all this, but emotionally I’m not totally over it. It doesn’t help, of course, that sometimes one does get subtle pushback for taking time off.

   Thoughts?

   1. I am like you. I always go into work, even when others don’t and even if I have to walk 3 miles through the snow. Dad says I have the “protestent work ethic” even tho I am not protestent. He says I am like a plowhorse when it comes to getting the job done. Even as a little girl, I would always get out and help dad shovel the snow around the house when Rosa sat inside making brownies. Then, when it was time for college, I went away to DC to study law, while Rosa stayed home and went to Nassau Community College. She is the one now with 4 kids, but I layed the groundwork for her by being diligent. I suppose that is why I was made a partner at my law firm, and she does not work at all.

   2. I take all of my vacation and use all of my sick time as none of ours rolls over. It’s part of compensation so perhaps reframe it as you end up paying the company when you don’t use it. I have zero interest in giving any of my compensation back to a company who would cut me any time they needed to (aka all companies).

      1. Yup. Although I don’t take *all* my sick leave because I have an absurd amount. But I take sick leave any time I’m sick enough to want to stay in bed and nap (which is always with the flu, sometimes with a cold) or whenever I have a kid home from school due to illness even if the kid’s not very sick.

   3. If you are senior, you need to take leave when you are sick etc. to set an example and help with culture change.

      1. Yes, absolutely! OP, would using that reason help you justify it?

   4. I have been WFH for over 5 years and struggle with this. I think it helps to look around at what other people do and make a note that people do indeed take time off. Also, it’s often better to take a few days sick and recover than be at work and unproductive for a week.

   5. Monday, I second guess myself all the time when taking sick days, because I used to end up taking them for undiagnosed depression and I never actually was sick physically sick (but I thought I was). I have gotten better at it but it’s still hard. And also I’m Midwestern and was taught to suck things up. You are too, right?

      1. <3 New England. But the message is definitely the same.

         1. Ah yes. Married into that.

   6. Get over yourself. That’s it. You’re not essential. Everyone will ge fine without you.

      1. I actually do worry about my patients dying either because I wasn’t there to keep up with them, or because I didn’t do my job properly. However, I imagine they would want me to find a balance between this necessary concern, and taking care of myself so that I can keep doing this work at all. Feel free to read up on the exodus of health care workers going on right now, and thanks for your support!

         1. If you’re patient facing (I thought you said before you weren’t) isn’t that all the more reason to stay home whenever you’re sick? A virus that is no big deal to you could be fatal to an immunocompromised or elderly patient.

            1. Yes, I see patients all day. (There are some others in health care admin on this board, but I am not one of them.) If I call out, none of them get seen at all, so that adds to my difficulty. But yes, not passing on illness to anyone is a big reason to be cautious!

         2. Thank you triple for what you do. I know we don’t always agree (#amazon), but I deeply respect your moral compass. As a patient, I want my carers to get a chance to rest and hate that the medical system doesn’t support that.Please do take care of yourself.

            1. Thanks so much for this, Curious!

               Thanks to everyone for the helpful insights as well.

   7. This is coming after 2 years of therapy and a lot of work towards it so YMMV, but I only found myself getting much better about this after I started being really in tune with my body. Meditation, especially body scans, and feelings checks helped me identify my own needs. It’s also one of those things where it was hard in the beginning (people do sometimes get upset about boundaries! I would worry about work while not there) but pretty quickly I saw some positive returns so it makes it easier. I’m so much more efficient and happier and a better doctor when I’m truly taking care of myself.

      Also, very gently, I don’t know what your field of practice is, but as a PCP I did have to reign in my “oh my god, I have to do everything for my patients and am the only one who can take care of them and they could die without me”. There’s definitely a fine balance of acknowledging how important and essential our work is (and appreciating the trust placed in us) while keeping in mind we are one small part of a large broken system. We can excel in our one small part and advocate for the improvement of the system, but we cannot take on the entire burden.

      1. Thank you. Your second paragraph is so true, and so difficult.

   8. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you have something that day that’s vitally important go in and do it first. Then go home. If you have interns/residents / whatever helping you have them do writeups. You could also reverse it – have interns do initial passes, then you go at end of day.

7. Maybe I’m just not made for ordering clothes online. I never seem to get the sizes right. I have a size medium top from Express that fits so I ordered other size M tops – one fits well, one is wayy too large,and one I think would just be more flattering in a smaller size

   1. This is an Express problem, not a you problem.

      1. Exactly. I find it downright ridiculous that I currently am wearing pants in not one, not two, but THREE sizes. And they all fit basically the same.

      2. +1

         Some stores have started doing a little pop-up when I order two or three sizes saying “not sure? Use True Fit to order what’s best for you!” and sorry not sorry, I continue adding to cart because so many brands are unpredictable.

         1. I think I did TrueFit for this too lol

   2. I just ordered three formal dresses in the same numerical size from Nordstrom and they all fit VERY differently, and none correctly. It’s the clothes, it’s not you.

      Side note: WTF does a size 16 gal who is suffering her way through fertility treatments wear to a black tie wedding in April?! I’m a freaking mess, had 45 eggs retrieved on Tuesday this week, look like humpty flipping dumpty, and three sizes bigger than baseline. Dying over here, folks….dying. The wedding is one month from today. FML. RTR is not helping, so that’s not my answer, fwiw.

      1. random idea but maybe separates (long skirt plus any top) might be easier? Good luck!

         1. A friend just got a two piece gown from Dillards of all places for a wedding and it looks great.

      2. no answer, just sympathy

      3. Tadashi Shoji has 16s and their dresses have stretchy fabric so you don’t feel crammed into a uncomfortable stiff thing.

      4. Have you tried a wrap style or higher waist? I have colon cancer and sometimes swell, and I’ve found playing with where the waist hits makes a huge difference in looking like me or a bloated Humpty Dumpty. ( And yes, black tie in April sounds miserable. No stretchy velvet or flowy sundress!)

      5. Sue Sartor organza dresses. Trust me, expensive but worth every penny. Flattering, formal, and comfortable.

         1. Specifically this one, also comes in a bunch of other colors but I love the green
            https://www.suesartor.com/products/firenze-pleated-neckline-ruffles-dress-hunter-green-silk-organza

      6. I’m about that size and found something at Macy’s recently. Usually Nordstrom is the place I find stuff like that but it was a total wasteland for some reason.

   3. You have to understand that clothes are stack cut (seamstresses/sweatshop owners feel free to correct the terminology!). In the factory they stack up multiple pieces of fabric before cutting — one way to save costs is to make those stacks higher. The pattern is placed on the top, the higher the stack the more likely the pieces on the bottom will be cut larger. The cheapest clothes can have a full size difference between the top and bottom pieces of a stack.

      It’s why cheap clothes are mostly large rectangles without lots of piecing and cheaper pieced pieces often bunch or pull weirdly.

      Lots of brands need to be tried on in person unfortunately.

8. What are your favorite one-pot meals that are fast and easy and don’t leave a huge mess in the kitchen? I prefer to eat protein and veggie heavy meals, and I’m hoping to build up a list of really easy protein-focused weeknight recipes so I don’t fall off the wagon as much as I currently do.

   1. pork tenderloin, carrots and other veg of your choice tossed in honey mustard – all roast together
      chicken laid over slices of lemon with green beans – again all roast together
      pre-making batches of pulled pork – easy to microwave day-of – to serve over rice & beans

   2. Stir-fry.

   3. From Eastern NC: Brunswick stew. Delicious, veggie-heavy, can add red pepper to taste.

   4. This basic technique: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016196-coconut-red-curry-with-tofu

      You could easily change out the vegetables and the protein for whatever you want/have on hand.

      1. Oh, also this: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020970-turmeric-black-pepper-chicken-with-asparagus Super easy and ingredients are swappable.

   5. My most recent favorite is to sear a rib eye steak in a small cast iron pan until it’s about 125 degrees internal, then while it’s resting, add some additional fat and a package of sliced mushrooms into the same pan and saute those down. Once they release their liquid, I salt and pepper them and maybe add some thyme or a few drops of worcestershire sauce, or both.

      I serve this with a little baby arugula salad on the side – sometimes I toss this in a bowl, sometimes I just add a little olive oil and salt and pepper to the arugula right on the plate.

      Optional and not one pot – roast some frozen french fries at a higher temp than on the package, as I like them crispy. If you already have the oven heated up, you can also easily roast some asparagus spears or broccoli/cauliflower florets.

      My other favorite one pot meals involve rice (jambalaya, risotto, arroz con pollo) so that doesn’t sound like what you’re looking for.

   6. Do sheet pan meals count? I’ll chop up bell peppers and onions and throw those on the pan with some turkey sausage. I also do crispy tofu this way.

      1. Sheet pan meals all the way. We have three in heavy rotation: one with chicken tenderloins and diced carrots and potatoes. One with salmon and green beans. And one with sliced kielbasa and brussels sprouts and mushrooms. Line with foil for easier cleanup.

   7. Tacos!

      On a slightly more serious note, last night I did pork chops with apples and onions in a skillet and it was great. Even the prep was simple.

   8. I do a variation of oven nachos that are super light on the chips and cheese, and super heavy on the beans and veggies. Sometimes I skip the chips all together and use zucchini or peppers as my base. You could easily add in protein via whatever meat topping you like. Very much one pan and quick to assemble other than chopping veggies (I use a bag of steamer corn that microwaves while I chop), although if you added meat I’d brown it first in a separate pan.

   9. Maple Dijon Chicken Thighs from Budget Bytes
      Parmesan Crusted Tilapia from Spend With Pennies
      Korean Beef from Mel’s Kitchen Cafe (you can use it as a filling for lettuce wraps)

      I also like baking salmon with some simple spices and a squeeze of lemon juice.

      In the summer, I marinate and grill meat.

   10. I second sheet-pan meals. We often have either chicken or fish with chopped veggies all roasted together in the oven. Frittatas are another one-pan favorite of ours and you can add whatever veggies you like. Also, one of my favorite one pan chicken dishes is Tuscan Chicken Skillet (just google for a recipe–the one I like has sundried tomatoes, white beans, and mushrooms and I add artichokes because I love them.)

   11. Pinto beans cooked with onions and celery in the pressure cooker earlier in the week plus handfuls of greens that I quickly stir fry with a little bit of olive oil plus salt, and some brown rice or other grain I cooked a few days ago, and a friend egg. And Kim chi. Maybe a piece of cheese. SO FAST as long as I cook the batches of beans and farro or rice or whatever every week or so (and cook big batches and put half in the freezer).

   12. Two faves –
       1) Skinnytaste salsa verde chicken (use in burrito bowl or tacos; make in slow cooker or instant pot) – https://www.skinnytaste.com/easiest-crock-pot-salsa-verde-chicken/

       2) Budget Bytes Sesame Noodles w/ Greens (SUPER customizable – i make with whatever veg i have handy, and these days i usually soft boil the egg). – https://www.budgetbytes.com/sesame-noodles-wilted-greens/

9. Does anyone machine wash silk? I got a bunch of silk blouses from the real real and want to wash them by hand but now I am wondering if I can get away with washing them in mesh bags on delicate. Anyone done this with success?

   1. Yes, but they come out more wrinkly than hand-washing, so I end up spending a bit more time ironing.

      1. +1 – if they’re preowned you might freeze them (to kill bugs) then wash them to get rid of any odors, and then ask your dry cleaner so they’re nicely ironed and after that get them dry cleaned?

      2. I steam rather than iron. It’s not quite as crisp looking, but so much easier.

   2. Always. I put mine in the machine on a regular cold wash, cold rinse cycle (our delicate cycle is not cold, so I worry about shrinkage) inside a lingerie bag ideally. If they are not knit, hang dry; knit should be laid flat to dry. They will require steaming or ironing.

   3. Yes, I use the wool (aka hand wash) setting, wash one item at a time, and use a laundry bag as well. Wool/silk detergent. I hang my blouses IMMEDIATELY when the machine stops, and stem while half-dry.

10. Lawyers, is everyone else insanely busy right now? Seems like everyone I talk to is just buried. I feel like the dearth of junior/midlevels of people who would have started law school but didn’t around the recession is coming home to roost.

11. This gave me serious “intern with the Birkin” flashbacks :)
    https://people.com/style/julia-fox-on-birkin-bag-from-kanye-west/

12. yesterday’s post made me consider selling the many pairs of lines suit pants I have in sizes 12 to 16, mostly brooks brothers or similar. carrying back to a year or 5 before pandemic.

    does anyone look for lined black and navy suit pants anymore?

    1. Absolutely! I’d be interested if we were a size match. You could def find a buyer on Posh or similar sites.

       1. thanks for the note!

13. I need some make-up hacks for very dark circles/ purplish that are never going away. I feel like it gets harder and harder to use concealer without it looking creased/textured/wrinkled. Been using Smashbox primer and trying different things but nothing miraculous. Is there a secret? I only wear tinted moisturizer so don’t pile on foundation with it. Do I just need to give up on a more natural look and go for fuller coverage?

    1. I need some make-up hacks for very dark circles/ purplish that are never going away. I feel like it gets harder and harder to use concealer without it looking creased/textured/wrinkled. Been using Smashbox primer and trying different things but nothing miraculous. Is there a secret? I only wear tinted moisturizer so don’t pile on foundation with it. Do I just need to give up on a more natural look and go for fuller coverage?

    2. Use a color corrector on the bottom and a concealer on top. The color corrector is to neutralize the purple. The concealer is to bring it back to your skin tone. I like Bobbi Brown color corrector (they’re pretty well described on the website) and NARS radiant creamy concealer

       1. Elf makes some cheaper color correctors too! Or just go to sephora or beauty counter and ask for color correcting concealers.

    3. I like Neutrogena Prep+Correct primer. I think the peach color would be good for the purple and dark circles. I use the green for my too-pink face.

       1. Hit enter too soon. I think you might have to experiment with primers because some don’t help and lead to caking. Someone here mentioned that the primer and the foundation have to match, silicone or not, but I don’t know enough so maybe going to Ulta and asking?

          The Neutrogena I mentioned is the only primer I’ve used that doesn’t seem to cake for me. But with WFH I don’t use much foundation – just a touch of concealer under eyes and then SPF 50 loose powder – Colorscience Sunforgettable that acts as a foundation/sunscreen.

14. The last time I shopped at Banana Republic, 40% off sales or coupons came around pretty regular. I don’t see the same discount these days. What is the best discount I should expect? I’m eyeing a few things I’d like to get within the next couple of weeks.

    1. I think the BR Friends & Family 40% sla eis coming up next week or the week after – I got a postcard about it the other day

    2. They really stopped those 40 off sales, didn’t they?! It almost feels like their prices doubled or something.

15. I’m looking to buy the aritzia tie front pant
    by the brand wilfred . Can someone look at these and let me know what the proper hem length is. Should they hit at the ankle bone or graze the top of my foot in flats?

16. Any recs for a casual black jacket (lightweight). Nicer than denim, could be worn to a nicer casual office, but not a blazer. Budget – under $150! Thanks!

Comments are closed.