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I was excited to see that Anthropologie expanded the style offerings for its popular Somerset maxi dress, such as this shorter version — but they now have a maxi skirt, a mini skirt, and three different kinds of minidresses (the above, in eyelet, and a strappy one in poplin). And all of the offerings are available in sizes XS-3X, as well as petite sizes!
I like the colors and the carefree, boho vibe. (Also, I'm kind of happy to see that tie-up sandals are in again? The pictured ones seem to be sold out, but these or these are similar.)
The various Somerset dresses are $98-$168; the pictured dress is $140.
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Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
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helloanon
Does anyone here work in planned giving? If so, could you share how you got into it and your likes/dislikes about it as a career? Thinking about making a pivot. Currently a lawyer but have some experience in fundraising (none in estate law, sadly).
Anon
I am in hybrid giving director role (major and planned), previously have done both. Pros: I am a geek for planned giving. I enjoy helping people who love our mission generally make their largest gift. And the technical side of understanding the different vehicles. Cons: My midsize Midwestern city is seeing a decrease in planned giving only directors. It now expected that giving directors know and understand planned giving, at least enough to be dangerous. The larger institutions such as universities and medical systems still employ PG teams and this is where JD is preferred. The teams are smaller than even five years ago. Also, planned gifts take time. Fundraising is very metric driven and it can be hard to show your value without a supportive ED and board.
Those I know who have made the career switch generally came from financial services or worked in family and estate law. And usually at a stage in life where they are on the runway to retirement. If you post a burner I would be happy to chat.
alanis
Any insights on a counsel position with Am@zon? I’m the main breadwinner in our family and need stability but have been interested in making a change. Are they a fair and reliable employer?
S
They have the reputation of being intense and a bit crazy. The people who like it really like it, the people who don’t burn out quickly at least as of a few years ago.
Curious
This is pretty on point. Note also that your management really matters, so in addition to what Walnut recommends below, make sure you speak to both your prospective manager and skip level and ask hard questions about turnover.
Ellen
I think there are places to work where you can earn more and work less. I will be looking for such a place as I get older, since I am doing so much billing now I am getting a bit weary. The last thing I would do is go in house to a place that doesnt pay more then I do now, but Dad says there simply are no real places for me other then a GC at a Fortune 50 company. But the problem there is that they have to know alot more then just WC, the area of my expertise, unless I work for a supermarket company, but those are not big in the Fortune 50, and Roberta’s company is not even a public company so Dad says they don’t even pubicize their compensation. I can ask Roberta if she will bring me in to replace her, but I am not ready for that yet.
Anon
As a tech person, I can say that AWS is particularly notorious for unreasonable workloads and constantly changing expectations, but other branches offer good WLB. I can’t say whether that applies to legal roles or not, but it may be worth investigating.
Walnut
If you throw you hat in the ring and get an interview, ask to do a candid chat with an attorney within whichever affinity group is most relevant to you. The point of the program is to link candidates with someone who is more than happy to answer all of the questions normally considered taboo that isn’t part of the hiring process.
nyc
One of my friends joined them and has mixed reviews. Generally, not too busy and there’s good WLB (compared to biglaw). Downside is that it sounds political and people try to pretend to be busier than they are
Anonymous
So it’s like biglaw only less busy?
nyc
Haha! Exactly right
Anon
I have heard that they do not pay competitive salaries. Most of your comp will be in options. However, those options do not vest for a full 4 years. Lots of turnover after that 4 year period. In addition, don’t expect to cross-learn. The business units are completely siloed and I’ve heard even within business units there are silos.
I’ve been working on a project with that company on the other side of the deal and become friendly with the lawyers. (I’m also a lawyer) They are not happy there.
Curious
Comp just increased substantially to correct this ( accurate) problem.
Anon
Based on my friends’ views and posts I see on fishbowl, Amazon still has heavily back-end-loaded stock options, and below-market comp for in-house salaries. They have raised their salaries a bit, but they are still the lowest of MAANG. Also, in general, I think you learn more in-house in a smaller environment, where you can touch more things. I want to go in-house at a much larger law department someday, but….not yet. I’m a tech lawyer who has worked in biglaw and in-house, mid-senior level.
Baby Weight
Hi! I’ve been in-house with them for less than a year. I love my internal clients. It’s like drinking from a firehose but I generally have weekends off, so yay! Really long and demanding 10 hour days are fine with me if I get two days pretty much left alone.
Claire
I’ve seen a lot of short-torso recs lately but any brand recommendations for tops and dresses with lower waists for longer torsos? Tall sizes don’t necessarily help if the waist, and for a dress the hips, aren’t any lower. Thanks!
Ribena
Oh this is so tough! I’m in a similar boat and it’s just tricky. Boden is okay sometimes. Because my legs are relatively short for my height I have just become okay with having waistbands at the bottom of my ribs, to put me back in proportion (I’m 5’ 9” with barely a 32” inside leg, all the rest of my height is in my waist)
Ellen
As I have a long body and short legs, I find it sometimes difficult to buy clotheing to look as statuesesque as Lauren Bacall did when she was with Humphrey Bogart. If I looked like her, I would already be MARRIED. FOOEY!
[ I wonder if parents name their sons Humphrey any more? I don’t think so. Dad says that was a big name around 1900, but no longer.]
Anonymous
I buy Boden Talls. Chaus, Hobbs and DKNY also fall the right place on me.
Anonymous
Look at any brand worn by Duchess Kate, she has a long torso.
Ellen
Yes, but she is also very svelte, with a very tight tuchus, which is hardly my strength. The only one at her wedding with a better tuchus then her was her sister, Pippa Middelton. What a great tuchus she had! All of the old men in my office (including the manageing partner) were ooogeling her tuchus at the royal wedding. Most people with long bodies and short legs usually are much less attractive from a distance then she was. they named her something like Best Tuchus of 2011. Look for yourself:
https://people.com/royals/pippa-middleton-is-the-world-s-most-famous-bridesmaid/
Anon
Amalli Talli and Long Tall Sally are both cut extremely long in the torso.
Anne-on
Lawyers – I am dying to hear your take on the Olivia Wilde/Jason Sudekis paper serving drama. That seems like a crazy stunt for his lawyers to pull without him being aware of it (as he claims), and apparently you can’t get nto Cinema-con without being in the industry/vetted (unlike comic-con where anyone can buy a pass). Also wouldn’t the lawyers have to pay for (and bill back) the cost of the pass? So I don’t entirely buy the ‘process server went rogue’ take. Thoughts?
KS IT Chick
My DH has been oddly fascinated by this and has researching how process servers do their jobs. What he is seeing is that someone probably has been trying to serve her for some time, but they hadn’t been able to. In one case, a process server had to buy a ticket to a speech/appearance by a baseball player to hand him the papers for his divorce.
Her reaction (or lack of reaction) suggests to me that she was expecting the paperwork, but she wasn’t expecting the paperwork to appear at that point in time.
Anon
I would be shocked if this is the first attempt to serve her. I’ve hired many process servers, including a few where I approved stake outs and service at public events. It’s always because they avoided service otherwise. (But I will admit that none of these cases have involved famous people)
Anon
It was completely inappropriate to do it while she was on stage. Having said that, process servers bill their expenses after service is accomplished so it is possible his attorney did not know in advance. (Although obviously it is impossible to know but since it makes his client look bad I would not have expected him to OK it. There was not reason not to wait until she was finished with her presentation.)
Anonymous
Honestly, I buy it. I suspect the plan was to serve her there – the going up to the stage seems like the process server wanted something flashy.
pugsnbourbon
If you walk with purpose and act like you belong, you can get into a LOT of places. I’m not surprised that the process server would get into the event but going up on stage was a bit much.
Anonymous
Thanks to the few people who say this late yesterday but wondered if there were any other thoughts – networking question. Say there’s a company where you had been thinking of reaching out to a contact that you’ve met from a professional org. I’m a lawyer and this is a corporation where there’s a department working in my subject area but not the law part – say it’s a tax law wanting to move to a tax advisory business [not exactly it but close enough]; it’s a type of move that a rare type of lawyer makes to business so it isn’t unheard of but not common and IDK whether this company would consider it. The contact is actually the practice leader so I had wanted to reach out to learn more about what they do/how a person like me could fit either with that company or another. Now I find out that they are hiring, which to me confuses the issue. Now wouldn’t reaching out be more like seeking to apply rather than info gathering? Or would certain questions be considered dumb because – you’re applying here but you don’t know how our industry does x [even without an official application]?
Feel like I waited too long to reach out though if I’m being honest it was a little bit about waiting out the covid surge, as I am local and this is a friendly person who would say let’s go get lunch and discuss and I knew if I said no I’d be burning a contact. How would you approach this if at all?
Anonymous
E-mail the person and said “hey saw the job posting, I’m interested, do you have a few minutes to discuss the role.” And then if they ask you to lunch, go.
Cat
+1, say “I’d been considering tr-nsitioning to a role like this since I met you at XYZ event, and when I saw a job posting open up, I knew it was time to explore the opportunity. Would you have a few minutes to discuss the role and how someone with a legal background might fit?”
Anonymous
I am having a problem with stinky blazers. Why are so many blouses sleeves, but jackets so difficult to clean? I just bought some disposable pads to put in my blazer armpits and hoping they help. What other tips do you have?
Ribena
Airing them out as soon as I get home – putting them inside out on the hanger.
Anonymous
I only wear sleeveless garments under washable jackets unless I am willing to have the jacket dry cleaned every 3 wears or so.
Diana Barry
I spray vodka on them after wearing and get the pits actually wet with it – when it dries it is less stinky. Totally cut down on dry cleaning with doing this!
Wheelie
Vodka, like Diana Barry says, and airing in sunlight works well for me.
Anon
I find sleeves don’t help that much. If it’s warm enough, a thin sleeve isn’t enough to protect the blazer. I hate to mention dress shields which were popular in my mother’s (your grandmother’s) day, but hey, they serve this particular purpose.
Anonymous
I’m cleaning out my closet this weekend. Any tips/good vibes appreciated! I’ve been the same two sizes for my entire professional career (size small/4-6 in everything) and my budget-shop-at-good-brands means I have many pieces for years. BUT. Since the pandemic, I hardly wear any of it. I donated 90% of my heels in 2020, but I’m looking at these brightly colored Sheryl-Sandberg sheaths and thinking, “Am I really going to need or wear 20 sheath dresses in the foreseeable future?” Ditto with full suits. I have worn a full suit twice since March of 2020, and I probably don’t need as many as I have now. My issue is a) volume of clothes that are in good condition, aren’t horrendously trendy, and still fit or very likely to fit when I predictably fluctuate a size during the winter; but b) I just don’t wear anymore, and I do still shop occasionally so it’s not like I have a capsule forever. I tried boxing them up for a while but it was still hard to get rid of things that are in good shape/fit/just aren’t worn. My mother’s voice says “You may need this someday!” So: I have a great charity identified to donate to, and any words of encouragement to cap the number of pieces in my closet or just get rid of it appreciated!
Anon
It sounds like you’ve got this.
dress
+1
I agree.
Let them go!
Also, as you get older, your preference of dress and body shape will continue to change. Getting new pieces that flatter you over time is key, especially as a woman in a sexist/age-ist world.
Anon
I didn’t have that amount of work clothes, but my university’s career center was over the moon with the stuff I brought in. Your stash could make some new grads’ interviews and entry into the workforce SO much smoother. When I think of the things I’m getting rid of going to good use rather than sitting in my closet, I’m much more inclined to clear them out rather than let them sit another season.
anon
This is an excellent plan! Visualize a stream-lined space, listen to good music, take breaks, and if you find yourself saying “I might need this someday” to more and more things? Stop the project and regroup later! (Easy for me to say this — I need to make the time to do the same with my closet! Mine may take a little longer/more bandwidth because I have to try things on to decide if they fit.)
Anonymous
If your criteria for keeping an item is if it fits and is still in good condition, along with “What would my mother keep?”, then no wonder you’re stuck! You have so many clothes that it’s not possible they’ll get worn enough to ever wear them out, your size doesn’t change so things always fit, and (it sounds like) your mother would keep almost everything.
How about a different set of criteria? Maybe, “how many items of clothing am I comfortable storing long term but never wearing?” or “what are my 5 favorite sheath dresses?” or “How empty do I need this closet to be in order to feel like I have some semblance of peace when I look at it?” or “if i didn’t have this and an occasion came up where I could have worn it, what would I do?” (this counters your mom’s ‘what if you need this someday!!” protest.) If you have the type of job and salary that has allowed you to accumulate a whole closet-rod full of sheath dresses, I’m guessing you’re a problem solver who can easily figure out something to wear, and your mom’s question just isn’t applicable to this stage of your life.
Anon
Think of how great it will feel to donate to an organization like dress for success. If these are work clothes in great condition, that’s where I would try and donate. Or a women’s shelter. You’ll do great!
Anonymous
I’ll take them off your hands! haha
Anonymous
How about a restyling session? My work went from Business to Casual attire and I remixed my business pieces with casual pieces and have worn a lot of them out. Pull apart the suits and try the skirts and dresses with different belts, flats and casual toppers. Save the pieces you can restyle and donate those you really can’t.
Anonymous
You don’t need a closet that’s a history of clothes you have liked wearing at some time. Use your space for the future, not a museum of you.
Jolene
What helps me finally get over the hump of giving something away that “you might need someday”: yes, and if you do, you can always buy it again at that time. You will have the money to spend on a colorful sheath dress or two or five if it REALLY comes to that. But, as you’ve already deduced, it likely won’t, so you’re better off moving on.
Anon
Does anyone have a sense for how much money we should give our nanny’s daughter for her quincenera? We were not invited but would like to acknowledge the occasion.
Anon
I gave $50 to a colleague’s daughter. Giving a larger amount felt like a “Why didn’t you invite us?” statement, but I may just be an overthinker.
Anon
$50
Anon
I’d say $100 if you love and appreciate your nanny. And maybe give it the day after the fact if you’re concerned she will view it as a request for an invite?
Anonymous
$50-$100 depending on your relationship with the nanny and her daughter (if any). If daughter has come to your house to do homework growing up that’s different from a kid you’ve never met whose mother has worked for you for 12 weeks.
OP
OP here. These numbers are lower than I expected! I was thinking like 150-200 like I would do for a bar mitzvah. Are quinceneras not “big gift” occasions? For context, I don’t know the daughter but we adore our nanny.
Anon
I would do $100 per head if my family were invited. I am sure a teenager would be delighted with a flat $100
Anon
Am from NM where quinceaneras are a whole thing; I have been to many and was in one when I was a teenager. $50-$100 is wholly appropriate if you weren’t invited. I would go with $100, but over that amount is not necessary.
Anon
But at the bat mitzvah you’re invited to the party and the host is paying for your food. I think $100 is incredibly generous if you weren’t invited to the event and don’t know the child. Honestly I think $50 is generous.
NYCer
My nanny’s kids are older, but I would definitely do at least $200 if one of her kids had a quincenera while she was working for us. Maybe more honestly.
OP
OP- Thank you everyone! I appreciate your input
facial scars
Any advice for good healing / minimizing scars after a facial biopsy?
I am having some atypical hair loss and just had 2 biopsies of my high forehead/scalp line today. The dermatologist is very fast, gives no advice other than “wash it once a day. Put vaseline on it”. I get stitches out in a couple weeks.
I had a car accident many years ago which left me with some unfortunate facial scarring after receiving no advice then either, and I’d love to not have the same end result.
I am debating whether I have to go to a different dermatologist just to get preventative advice, but this is all costing me so much $$….., but just curious if anyone here can share their experience.
Anne-on
Hydrocollodial patches. They need to be applied to bone dry skin, but it makes a HUGE difference.
facial scars
Wow – thank you. Any specific recs? And when do you start using them? Early? After stitches off? How long?
She told me it was up to me whether to cover it.
Anne-on
Whatever size fits you best, they should be in the wound care section of the drugstore. My husband had a large melanoma removed on the back of his neck and he used them for about a month in total. The derm was shocked at how good the scar looks without him doing anything else.
facial scars
So interesting. He didn’t put any cream/vaseline? Just the dressing? Change it with each shower? So simple. Sounds wonderful.
I hope your husband is doing well. Is he in treatment now? How are you doing?
BB
Seconding these. I used the band-aid brand ones after I had a weird bump removed right in the middle of my forehead. And yes, vaseline. I have no scarring from my biopsy, but it was also quite superficial.
facial scars
Wonderful. I really appreciate you describing your experience.
Don't Drink and Drive!
(1) Vitamin E gel on the scar and take it as a supplement; and (2) Absolutely no sun. It is not enough to wear sunscreen once the incision heals. I am talking no sun at all until the red fades completely, which can take a year or more. This was the advice I got from the plastic surgeon who put 100+ stitches in my face after an auto accident and it really did work.
facial scars
Thank you DD+D. Unfortunately I had a reaction to topical Vitamin E in the past, but I really appreciate the advice about sun exposure. I would have never thought I needed to be careful that long.
And wow, I am so sorry to hear about your injuries. How are you doing now?
I was also almost killed by a drunk driver and had some rough facial/head lacerations and almost lost my eye. It was my birthday. I was a front seat passenger and I was holding a decorative metal piece of art on my lap that I had been given as a present. It went straight into my face.
I had a traumatic brain injury as well and don’t remember the accident, but I remember waking up in the ER and realized someone was sewing on my face. I was out of it, but somehow still knew an ER doctor should NOT be sewing on my face, and that I should ask for a plastic surgeon. But I was so out of it that babble just came out of my mouth as I tried to push him away. I didn’t heal well….
Don't Drink and Drive
Thank you! I was incredibly lucky that my recovery was excellent and the scar not nearly as bad as it could have been. Fortunately the family member who was called by the police is in health care and insisted loudly and often that I needed plastics (while also repeating the magic words: “private insurance” and “lawyer” over and over). It took some doing because no plastic surgeon wanted to come to the ER at midnight on a Saturday night but they did find someone (and he was amazing).
Of course the guy with the .20 BAC was not hurt at all because that is the way the world works.
Anon
I am using silicone patches on my stomach after abdominal surgery, alternating with a silicone-vitamin E gel (the patches don’t stick well if you’re sweaty or moving around a lot). My derm recommended NewGel+ but there are similar options that cost less.
Tanya
Vaseline is a good suggestion tbh. I would also look into silicon gel.
2 years ago I got a second degree on my burn. As it was healing I used to massage silicon gel and sunscreen on it in the morning, and silicon gel and lotion at night, any lotion. I also kept it covered with athletic tape although you may have to do something else on your face. Like covered tight to prevent keloids. I’m prone to scarring and you can barely see the scar today if you know where to look.
Anonymous
I’m prone to keloid scarring, which is apparently more of a risk if the incision is anywhere on your body above your waist for some reason. In the past, I’ve been told to rub vitamin E oil to minimize scarring. My derm saw a bad surgical scar I just got following a surgery last fall while I was in for something else and she suggested injecting the scar now with some sort of steroid every six weeks to help it flatten and take away the redness. If I hadn’t agreed to injections, she said I could wear patches at night (sounds like what others are suggesting) but that the injections work better. Since this is your face, I wouldn’t hesitate to talk with a derm. Scarring there is going to be a much bigger deal in life.
Anon
I recently had a mole removed by a plastic surgeon, but I wasn’t completely happy with the resulting scar. I’ve been using a topical silicone stick and I think it’s helping.
https://www.biodermis.com/collections/pro-sil-silicone-scar-stick
A
Silicone gel.
facial scars
Thank you all for your suggestions about silicone gel. I have never heard of that. I will start gathering my supplies and talk with Derm when I go back for stitches removal.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!
Jules
Hello, ‘rettes in Portland, OR –
In a few weeks I’m going to my first in-person conference in two and a half years, in Portland at the downtown Hilton. I’ll have Sunday evening and most of the day on Monday open, before the conference starts late afternoon on Monday. Any recs for veg/vegan/pescatarian-friendly (I’m mostly vegan but do occasionally eat fish and shellfish) restaurants in the area? Things to do on Monday? I like museums, gardens, cute neighborhoods, interesting shops. I’m not interested in real hiking on this trip but am open to a nice walk. I won’t have a car but can walk, use public transit or take a Lyft.
Thanks.
Anonymous
plant based papi! the sudra for vegan indian food. toki is great too (very hip place rn) and i always love departure for a fancy lunch (it’s on top of the nines) but to be honest i don’t remember how vegan friendly they are. you could also walk to nob hill and harlow is vegan and totally fabulous, and that street is great for shopping (plus, salt and straw and bamboo sushi). skip voodoo donuts and go to blue star instead. i would avoid the old town area at night. fair warning, you may be shocked at some of the houselessness situation depending on if you’re from the west coast – it is sad. i would definitely go to the japanese garden or washington park although weather is looking pretty rainy on monday so make sure you have good footwear and a rainjacket. if you want to stay in the city i would check out powells. also worth a visit to the east side as that’s where the cute hipster neighborhoods tend to be (alberta st- gumba is the best pasta ever).
DC pandas
I don’t know how veggie heavy their current menu is, but the best meal I’ve ever had was at Mucca Osteria in Portland. Enjoy!
Anon
I wouldn’t say best meal I’ve ever had, but Mucca Osteria was definitely our best meal in Portland. We had a musroom ravioli dish with almonds and white wine cream sauce that I still think about. I don’t think it’s very vegan friendly though. Italian food generally isn’t.
Jules
Thanks, both of you!
Anons
The Rhododendron garden in SE Portland is really pretty right now. The Sellwood neighborhood is close by and very cute for strolling and browsing.
Rachel
Hey, hope you see this in time. I LOVED Andina in Portland. Still dream about the place and joke with my husband that I want to go back to OR for that restaurant alone. Delicious, flavorful Peruvian food. Service was excellent and they had live music when we were there. Highly recommend!
Anonymous
Aging parent issues – two questions.
First – when do you “assume” symptoms like continuous [or at least daily] fatigue, headaches and dizziness are aging in an upper 70s male? Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying ignore things and just say oh you’re old. But he’s been to many types of drs – more than one primary care, geriatrics, cardio, neuro, urology – and all have done lots of testing and say no the testing is fine. But interestedly none have said, this is aging – though maybe drs. in the US don’t say that? Or don’t say that in your 70s? IDK.
FWIW he spends a TON of time on google and thinks it’s chronic fatigue. It makes me sad to see that over the last 5 years and moreso over the last 2 in the pandemic he looks deconditioned, walks very slowly, hunched over. And sad and worried to hear things like – he went to the car dealership to pick up the car after servicing and had to wait 15 min because they were running behind and while he stood and waited, the rest of the day was a “bad” day per my mom – as he was exhausted. He very much has a “routine” and if that routine is changed in any way, he’s exhausted – so having to wake up an hour early bc a landscaper was coming by or having to go to the car dealership or whatever [yet he won’t think to “compensate” for that by catching an afternoon nap or an extra coffee that day, he’ll just be tired and unhappy].
My view as a non dr is whether it is aging or chronic fatigue, it will require some lifestyle moves since there isn’t a medicine – and one of those may be some exercise. Now I’m not suggesting that he should just get up off the couch and walk 2 miles – I think that’d be unsafe. But little things like stretching, standing for say half the evening news [15 min], keeping some small 2-5 lb weights and doing 5 reps while sitting and watching TV, or walking from the back door to the fence line once or twice a day [it’s a moderately sized yard though not like walking miles either] can only help — it could improve things or it could maintain some stamina. He’ll do some of these things for say 4 days every quarter and when he doesn’t see immediate improvement he stops. He vents A LOT about how he feels [and no one cares] but you mention anything out of the ordinary like mild exercise and he’s all – but how, but what would I do, but what would it help. Now to be clear this isn’t a senior citizen who doesn’t use technology. He is on his phone ALL DAY LONG. Yet google a simple yoga stretch or even google which channel out of the 5000 TV channels they subscribe to his some exercise shows and it turns to – but how, I can’t. So second question – how much do you push/keep at it on these issues w/ aging parents vs. saying I’ve said my opinion before?
Anon
This isn’t something confined to the elderly – this level of deconditioning is common even among my 40-something contemporaries. It’s just a lot harder to pull yourself out of it the older you get. The advice he gets to do short, low-impact things like the 10 minute walk after dinner is spot on. He didn’t get the way he is overnight and he won’t see immediate results. That said, at this point, nothing you say to him is likely to make a difference. He’s been making his decisions and will have to live with the consequences, even if it’s difficult to watch.
Anon
I don’t know about the first part of your post, but I will say that none of my parents’ doctors hesitated to say that certain things change as people age (especially the doctors like gerontologists). Have you been to the appointments with him? If he’s willing to let you go in, sometimes that helps you get a better understanding of what’s going on. My parents got to a certain point where they wanted me to come with them to help communicate with their doctors.
I do have a lot of experience with the last part of your question. I had one parent who was active basically until the end, though totally non-complaint and dangerous in certain ways. Another parent who had a long slow decline due partially to inactivity and other lifestyle factors. I tried my best to help both of them by giving my opinion, trying to give resources about what the doctors prescribed, etc. None of it worked. Plus it made them feel like disempowered children to have people constantly telling them what to do. Once I realized I was kind of treating them as if they owed me their lives/happiness, I backed off and our relationships got better. My mother still had to go to the hospital from time to time because she ate too many potato chips (she had congestive heart failure and her sodium was supposed to be strictly limited). She knew that’s why it happened, she did it anyway, and she was of sound mind. She didn’t want my help and any attempts just upset her. Same with my father on other issues. My point is that it hurts to see people you love deteriorating, especially when it feels like if they’d just do this ONE THING! they’d be happier and healthier. Which maybe they would be. But they get to decide that, and the best thing you can do is help as much as you can when they want it, say things once, and otherwise accept that they might not make “the right” choices all the time. This is one of the hardest parts of elder care in my experience.
aging
Are these new complaints? Headaches and dizziness are never normal parts of aging in your 70s. New headaches in the elderly new to have brain imaging if no other cause can be found, and many common causes (dehydration, undiagnosed sleep apnea etc…) need to be clearly worked up.
Dizziness is very dangerous. Whether it is due to inner ear problems, or dehydration, or heart issues etc… A fall could be all it takes when you are that way to break a hip or cause a head bleed and sometimes that is all it takes to end life early.
Some doctor has to take the symptoms and try to address/treat them, while following your parent closely to see if their cause is revealed over time. For example, a trial of drinking more fluids (but not just water which can sometimes cause sodium problems with aging), or physical therapy to help with the dizziness and fatigue, or honestly…. counseling/depression screening to be sure the fatigue isn’t caused by mood changes with aging. It is also a terribly depressing time for the elderly, trapped inside during COVID, realizing that they may never have the retirement they hoped for because catching COVID will always be riskier for them and will likely always be a stressor.
And try to be forgiving… waking up an hour early for a car appointment would screw me up all day (and an afternoon nap wouldn’t help and could make it worse). When you break your routine in your 70’s it is often very hard. That is normal. Aging is rough for even the best of us.
Keep an eye on your Mom. What does she think and how is she dealing with it?
Anonymous
So all the work ups you’re suggesting have been done except physical therapy – which is where my mind goes re a bit more exercise for balance and stamina. An ENT did recommend some test that he refuses to do because “what does the dr. care that that test will make me feel awful.” Only other rec has been more fluid – which he has been doing for 5-7 years. These aren’t new problems as they’ve been going on for 5 or so years but def are worsening, and the deconditioning now is more obvious; I do think the pandemic has played a part in the deconditioning. Previously he may only have been going out on one errand per day but it was one errand; now it’s still relatively rare but the more you’re home all the time as an older person the more I think you lose confidence and going out seems like a “big” deal.
As for the routine thing – I’m not shocked as we all have our routines even by 30-40 but I guess it surprises me that a retired person is SO upset by the routine being messed up when they have nothing else to do?? I feel like working people get upset because after getting up an hour early to deal with the car, they still have to commute and do work for 8 hours often with an annoying boss??
As for mom – she’s all over the place and yes that worries me too. She goes no where because of him – but wants to travel, visit relatives etc.; she “blames” him for that most of the time but then also says oh well married people sacrifice for each other, it’s fine. He vents to her all the time. And she doesn’t do the American thing [we’re Asian] of – we’ve already talked about this. She reasons and counsels him every single time [which makes him feel better even though it’s the same talk over and over of – your results are fine, dr. x said you’re good, you need to eat better/work out/whatever etc.]. But while he dumps on her and feels better, she obv doesn’t. And then she turns around every few weeks and calls me – always on a Sunday night when I have a long day of work ahead [but who cares about my routine] and dumps on me. She poses half the time as if he’s can just fix this/is choosing not to etc. but in reality she’s worried too [she was INSISTENT on a neuro consult and there was no stopping her even though it was during one of the earlier pandemic surges but since that came back ok she’s more relieved but still concerned].
Anon
Agree with this. It sounds like a lot of what’s happening here is a combination of aging and deconditioning, but that doesn’t mean you should just ignore it and headaches and dizziness especially are more concerning. I assume when you say he’s had all the tests, they’ve ruled out the most serious causes for these, but there are still medications that could help (albeit with side effects that are more problematic in older people).
I posted on the thread this morning about managing my chronic m*graine (that word puts you in mod) and conditions like that really require doing a lot of different things (meds, sleep, diet, dietary supplements, exercise, PT, ergonomics, avoiding other triggers, etc.) that don’t have benefits immediately but each one adds up over time to feeling a lot better. It’s a lot of work, but worth it to feel better. I understand that it might be daunting to an older person, and it may or may not be worth it to do all those things, so he can make the decision on his own. Sometimes there’s a magic pill, but it sounds like those scenarios have been ruled out (assuming he’s done bloodwork and other testing for thyroid, vitamin deficiency, etc.), and most of the time there’s not an easy solution (certainly true if he actually has chronic fatigue).
No Face
I agree that he is an adult and you can’t make him do anything.
If he wants help figuring out what to do, can you find him local classes for seniors? My local YMCAs have group senior classes. My grandpa went to some class he called his “fall down” class. If there is a medical/PT/OT school nearby there may be studies with senior participants he could do (dance for seniors, etc).
I don’t blame him for not being motivated to work out with internet videos. I’m not either!
Anonymous
I think this is a good suggestion. He might be more likely to do the exercise if it is not self-directed, communal, and an “appointment” at set days and times. That certainly has worked best for my aging parents to get in strength and flexibility exercise, though they do a fair amount of walking by choice.
anon
Is he depressed? I say that as someone whose grandma finally found the right SSRI at age 82 after spending most of her 70s with people thinking she was just getting old and sleeping.
On the second question, offer to go to or take him to appointments (… then go out for pie, cake or cookies afterwards… not joking, old school floats or milkshakes at a dinner do wonders for dad / daughter bonding time). My experience is doctors will take complaints more seriously when adult children take time off work to make them.
Anonnn
This was hard for me to read as someone who has actually experienced symptoms that could be described as chronic fatigue. I believe getting doctors to help with chronic fatigue type symptoms is a brutal uphill climb at any age.
My own symptoms ended up being from a combination of autoimmune PA/atrophic gastritis and MG. The PA was causing autonomic neuropathy and orthostatic intolerance which caused profound fatigue, and the MG was causing fatigable weakness. I saw doctor after doctor for years. I’m not saying that those things are what he has. I was certainly tested for many other conditions when I finally found some doctors who wanted to do some doctoring. But I can report that it can take many, many rounds of second opinions to get conditions with symptoms like “fatigue” and “exercise intolerance” diagnosed. The default assumption is to say it’s deconditioning and depression even when it’s not (most of us know what those things feel like!).
I can exercise again on treatment. My fatigue improved after just a few weeks on B12 injections, and my exercise tolerance improved after literally thirty minutes on Mestinon — I literally put on sneakers and went for a run, which I hadn’t done since my symptoms had started years prior. And sure, I was out of shape! But that’s not what was causing my symptoms. It’s great to be benefiting from activity again. But not exercising wasn’t the cause, and exercising wasn’t the cure (despite its other benefits).
Maybe he made it to his seventies without being able to recognize what it feels like to be out of shape and is just in denial or something; I don’t know. But I wouldn’t trust doctors that “everything is fine” without basically double checking their work, or that there isn’t any “medicine” that could treat it, since I was told all those things too. (Heck, I was told it was “just aging”! But I knew people older than me didn’t feel like I did, so that never added up.) If there’s really and truly nothing wrong, maybe he could see an anti-aging type doctor or get into juicing or something similar that has subjective or placebo benefits or general wellness benefits like nutrition. But if he really thinks he has chronic fatigue, I would believe him even if doctors haven’t figured out why.
Anonymous
What is MG? And what type of drs. did you see that finally helped – as in what specialties or even which health systems just in case it happens you’re on the east coast?
Anonnn
MG is a rare autoimmune disease that causes weakness (MG stands for “myasthenia gravis” which I think just means “seriously weak”). The symptoms can be bizarre (too weak to do every tasks after a certain point in the day). It seems like it’s common to be misdiagnosed with CFS or FND before a doctor figures it out. I was originally prescribed the Mestinon for my autonomic symptoms, so I was seeing an autonomic specialist neurologist at the time (which was convenient, since they’re usually also neuromuscular specialists, which is the right specialty for MG).
I honestly had no idea at the start of this that there were subspecialties of neurologists and that they don’t all treat the same conditions! Apparently Mestinon can be used for chronic fatigue syndrome as well, if they think vasovagal tone is a factor, but it seems to be hard to find doctors who treat chronic fatigue syndrome at all. I feel lucky I didn’t really have CFS since it seems harder to treat.
For OP, maybe it would help to watch Jen Brea’s TedTalk on undiagnosed chronic fatigue to get some perspective on how it can feel to be seeking help for vague symptoms while all the tests come back negative. (Fortunately she’s also been diagnosed and treated since she gave that talk.)
Anon
I’m always surprised to hear that myasthenia gravis takes so long to be diagnosed, as it was one of the first things my regular old PCP brought up when I started having vision problems and eye strain. It turned out I actually had a mild form of strabismus that took many more years to actually get diagnosed, so very sympathetic about how frustrating it is to take a long time to get answers. It’s really hard when you have vague symptoms that occur across multiple body systems (I also had vertigo, nausea, and headaches) because everyone just wants to pawn you off on a different specialty that looks at things in isolation rather than treating the whole person (in my case, vision issues aren’t even treated by doctors or health insurance at all, which is whole other rant). Clearly you needed to see a subspecialist, but for the OP of this thread, it sounds like her dad might be better off with someone who can help with symptom management and a day to day treatment plan to feel better (can gerontologists do this?), while also sending him to specialists as needed to rule out other things.
Anon
I’m anon at 4:42 and just wanted to clarify that I’m not knocking Anonn’s experience- I also had to see a subspecialist optometrist to finally get a diagnosis. I just desperately wish for a doctor that would treat me and my symptoms as a whole, rather than only seeing specialists who are incapable of dealing with the fact that multiple body systems interact. Weirdly, physical therapists seem to be better at this than anyone else I see, but can’t do anything with medication.
Anonnn
Physical therapists can be a great resource, I agree!
I wrote way too much above, but I guess the actual point was that I went undiagnosed for years and could very easily have gone totally undiagnosed forever. If you wouldn’t view a fatigued person as lazy, difficult, selfish, and neurotic if there were a diagnosis to explain it, at least consider that something could be wrong that the doctors missed, or that aging itself can be profoundly destructive and limiting and doesn’t hit everyone the same way. And when doctors say nothing is wrong, it can put us into a weird position where we try to do stuff we can’t really do, which creates more problems than if we accepted our limits. But it actually helps to be believed.
Anon
Is he actually asking for your advice or just asking for a shoulder to cry on. He’s almost 80. You do get more trail and tired and weak as you get older. You sound kind of fed up with him so take a break, but also give him a break. I feel like you just want him not to be old, and that’s not going to happen.
Anonymous
It’s a combo – starts as venting, then progresses to “what do you want me to do,” then you suggest things [same things again] and it’s met with – I don’t know how/I can’t/that’s not going to do anything. I get a break [though then he thinks I don’t care because I don’t ask] but mom doesn’t. But yeah maybe this is just about listening to the vent and not offering suggestions repeatedly.
Anon
Different anon, but one with a chronic illness, and lot of times what I want most is just for people to accept me as I am. I don’t need to be fixed, I don’t need sympathy, I just need people to realize that there are things that are now hard or impossible to do and that’s how it is. I find myself avoiding people who are always trying to get me to do things I struggle with and dismiss the reasons I give as trivial- it might be trivial for them, but not for me. I get that it’s hard to hear someone complain constantly, but maybe what he’s really saying is that he needs help because things like going to the car dealer and dealing with the landscaper are just too much for him now. Men often have trouble directly asking for help or admitting that they can’t do things, so maybe try offering to help out with things?
Anonymous
Maybe but if you need someone else to take the car to the car dealer why not say it? Rather than assume everyone else is a mind reader. I get my own cars serviced, yeah I can do theirs too but really this – I won’t ask for help but just vent and expect you to come with a solution I agree with is not helpful to anyone.
Anon
i wish i had both my parents still.
your parents have a few differences versus your peers including age and culture. what motivates them and how have they changed in the past? would he go for a walk or lift weights if your mom needed help?
can you take some of the kids on or how someone to take his car in etc?
what about private dr and a full body scan?
Anon
also maybe he really does feel lost. just because he’s online all the time doesn’t mean he may not have dementia or other issues in resolving this. you keep trying the same words that didn’t work before. he’s not you. he’s not your friends, he’s an older Asian man who needs help, from his daughter
can you take over booking appointments and frame it as time together before or after the appointment?
I wish I had my dad again. remember none of us are permanent….
Anonymous
Is there any way to estimate utilities cost for a house? First time home buyer [if I can find one] and have for the last decade and a half only lived in apartments that were 700-1100 sqft in high rises. In Va. now and looking for a townhouse that would be 1600-2200 sqft. Obviously things like internet/TV would be the same or similar to an apt – my apt. isn’t one that has any discounts or deals with any providers. I would assume water usage would be relatively the same as the same ppl living in the apt would live in the house. But I’m trying to guess re electricity and natural gas. I find in an apt. here will I pay a fair amount for electric in the summer due to the AC as I’m not used to real heat being from New England; but the heating bill is next to nothing, as the heat turns on like a half dozen times per season in the early morning hours for like 30 min. I feel like that may be different in a TH where you aren’t kept warm by hallways right outside your door or apts. above and below you.
Cat
we moved from 700sqft apartment to 1500sqft townhouse (in the middle, not an end, so we still benefit from neighbors’ walls) and our utilities didn’t double – they increased by maybe a third or so. Most of that was natural gas in winter bc of our heating system. Electric didn’t really budge much – we’re not suddenly turning lights on in the whole house just bc we could, and our AC is zoned which means we only actively cool the rooms we’re using.
Anonymous
I believe you can ask to see a year’s worth of utilities history to understand costs.
Anonymous
Might be technically true but in this market people are practically buying sight unseen, no inspection and something like an inspection contingency makes you lose the house – so yeah you’d be laughed out of there asking for a utilities history; I mean things are less fast that they were in Jan but still fast.
Anonymous
I don’t know, we sold for all cash, no contingencies, and with a backup offer, but we still provided 3 months worth of utility bills to our realtor as part of the package that was provided to all prospective buyers. Shrug.
Your realtor may be able to give you a general estimate even without that info though.
Anon
Also, our utilities were through the roof until August 2021 b/c there were 4 of us home 24/7, so heating/cooling the house when normally it would be empty, flushing more, cooking more, improbably always doing wash.
Anon
The only way to know is to ask the current owners (and take into account the household size/needs – a family of 5 is going to look a bit different from a single person). Your utility provider will make a difference, too…. where I live, the cost just to HAVE the utilities is almost $100/month. My actual usage based fees are only $50-80 depending on the time of year. If I were in the county, the breakdown would look a lot different.
Anon
Don’t forget about water/sewage and trash, which you often don’t pay in an apartment. These may or may not be part of your HOA dues, but definitely add up. Water usage also goes up dramatically if you have to maintain a yard vs. just indoor use. When it comes to actual bills, though, like the commenter above said, some places have high fixed costs just to have service and usage is only small fraction of the total bill, so that makes a big difference when working out the difference between your current place and new place. After that, it matters a lot how efficient your new house is, and new houses are much better than older ones. I moved from a 2006 house to a similar 2014 house just a few miles away and had dramatically lower bills due to the improvement in standards implemented by the Obama administration.
Anon
Late but in my city, you can look up the average utility cost for any residence served by the electric utility. You just search “*Utility* cost lookup”
pugsnbourbon
Hey! This is your reminder to Do The Thing so it’s not hanging over your head this weekend!
I just did my Thing and I feel better.
Senior Attorney
Done!!
Anon
You’re totally right, and now I’m doing it.
anon
Same – thank you for the reminder!
Hi
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Anon
I just emailed my new boss that I was on top of all my time sensitive work and I was tired so I was taking the afternoon off and they were 100% supportive.
I’ve never worked somewhere that didn’t have a performative cult of busywork culture or an obsession with martyring oneself to the company and I’m honestly a little freaked out by new bosses reaction but I’m excited. And it’s sunny. And I’m going to take my kid and dogs to the park.
Seriously what universe am I living in?
No Face
Welcome to the good life! Sounds like you’re detoxing from your old workplaces, but in many jobs/roles you could have just stopped without sending the email.
Anon
LOL yeah my reaction too. If I sent my boss an email every time I was signing out early on a nice Friday afternoon to take my kid to the park, it would be…a lot of emails.
Dress code debate
Well this is a fun conundrum: I have a bunch of direct reports starting soon, and they’re all new grads. We’re in tech, with a strong WFH policy. Those two things mean that “dress code” is… not really a thing? Until it is? Especially for women, which is reality, like it or not.
I’m debating about how much to coach/outline/recommend about dress code. You can legitimately get away with just about any form of clothes in our company and industry, but there’s still some raised eyebrow outfits. For example, it seems quite reasonable to tell them not to wear midriff-bearing attire if they attend an in-person event. I would advise not wearing spaghetti straps, but I’m not going to be policing the width of your tops on your shoulders, so maybe I don’t say that?
Can I just give a general direction that it’s advised to cover from roughly your just below your collarbone to mid-thigh? I get that dress codes tend to be inherently s3xist and our industry and company mean you can pretty much do what you want. But people talk when the brand new female graduate showed up to a recent in-person engagement with her midriff showing, so I want to help them avoid that.
Nina
I think tech dress codes are whatever you want – but still appropriate for work. So no (or very little based on current styles) midriff, maybe not the thinnest straps. I think you can say. The recent grads in my office certainly dress very casually, but everyone is clearly making more effort to look appropriate than they would just hanging out with their friends.
I think you should at least say the “collarbone to mid thigh” part because even if your company is casual its good to have some idea of work dress codes, and you might have events like client events where you certainly have to be dressed up.
Anonymous
I don’t think dress codes are typically sexist (though there are certain my exceptions including an email I got from Biglaw HR suggesting Spanx). Fashion is sexist in that it encourages women to expose more of themselves. Consider whether you would find it appropriate for a man to wear a sleeveless button down or a tank top or anything midriff baring with shorts with a short inseam to any work event. Ask yourself if you have ever witnessed any.man get close to this line. It’s the fashion industry making this complicated for women.
Woof
My son once had a casual job who educated as to dress code by doing a “What Not to Wear” power point slide show. Photos ranged from the perfect to the ridiculous, and everyone laughed a lot–this might work. More visual, less verbal, add some photos of crazy headpieces and shoes, and some tame office attire as well–might be fun.
Lawsuited
I worked in a casual workplace where the written dress code was “casual clothes in smart condition (no rips, etc.) that look like you’re going to work and not the gym or the beach” It was just enough guidance re: look and feel without being prescriptive about skirt lengths, spaghetti straps, etc.
Jolene
I would definitely not say anything preemptively. If/when it becomes a recurring problem with a particular person, you can discuss it with them. But it seems reasonable to assume your new hires will be professionals who are capable of understanding dress codes/norms without having it spelled out for them on their first day. Describing specific areas of the body that should be covered sounds bizarre.
A better way to address it might be, for in-person events, in the email invite, note that the dress code is “Office Casual,” with a link to how that is defined, or to the company dress code? That way you don’t have to try to describe what it requires.
Dress code debate
OP here, thanks for the suggestions! I think the challenge is that we’re all 100% remote, so it’s not like they can even take cues from how others dress at the office. I’ll have to hunt around to see if we have a dress code policy, maybe it exists somewhere.
Anon For This
Ladies who “garden” by themselves – any recommendations for Instagram profiles or websites (soft-core only) to use as, ahem, visual aids? I’m newly single, and mostly used written content (yay liter0tica!) in the past, but looking to try something more visual.
M2020
What has been your experience with Functional Medicine? I’m a slightly overweight 40 year old with regular periods that got so heavy with such bad pms and cramps that I need to take off work 3 days a month. My mom didn’t get until menopause until 55, so the idea of this is perimenopause and deal with it for the next 15 years is not something I can handle. I have migraines with aura and other stroke risk factors – so hormonal birth control has never been an option for me.
I went to a functional medicine consult at the Cleveland Clinic when I was visiting (I go to Cleveland a lot) and they ran 37 blood tests and had me do a 3 day stool analysis. Nothing popped up. They prescribed lots of expensive supplements and an elimination diet. Im doing it but I feel like they are just trying to take my money.
Can someone convince me it is worth it?
Anon
There are a lot of things that can cause terrible periods that wouldn’t show up on a blood test, e.g., endometriosis. Have you talked to your OB?
M2020
Yes, my gyn was like “sorry that’s perimenopause for you.” Grrr
Anon
That sucks. Maybe try to get a new gyno? (Fwiw, I’m 38 and in perimenopause according to my gyn and my periods are light. I had very heavy periods with horrible cramps before I had a baby at 33, and she told me I likely had undiagnosed endometriosis that was alleviated by pregnancy. She said it’s definitely possible for endo to go undiagnosed until a woman’s 30s or 40s.)
Peloton
Yes, this sounds like endo. Have you considered getting a lap and/or exploratory ultrasound? Have these been consistent your whole life or become worse over time? Either can be consistent with endo.
A Nonny Mouse
If you aren’t still looking at having kids, I have two friends that were in the same situation and they both had ablations. They sing their praises – after the first month of healing, they had no more bleeding.
Anonymous
+1, an ablation really helped me. I would try another gyno.
Anon
I would feel the same way! — though arguably I did take a more of functional type approach to these symptoms. I got a copy of Lara Briden’s Period Repair Manual and worked through some of the suggestions with the help of my PCP (this was after my gynecologist told me she had nothing to offer to patients who can’t take BCP, otherwise I might have worked with a gynecologist).
I did end up on some supplements, but they worked really well and were worth it for me, and I didn’t buy them from a doctor or anything.
If endometriosis is a possibility, “Nancy’s Nook” on Facebook is an amazing resource! I ended up not needing to pursue that possibility because my symptoms are minimal now, but I was really grateful to have so much information about how to access good care on hand.
Anon
(And Nancy’s Nook has info about adenomyosis and fibroids too, not just endo.)
Anon
Very important law student question: Can you wear jardigans instead of real blazers in BigLaw? Gotta make some career choices
Anon
It probably depends on the firm, but at my former firm, yes absolutely unless you’re going to be in court.
Anonymous
100%
Peloton
Girl, at this point, a lot of us are barely wearing real pants.
Anon
lol that’s my dream. Working on building a work wardrobe exclusively comprised of things that look like structured fabrics but are secretly stretchy
Anonymous
Yes unless you are a litigator.
Anon
Oh no! Is that just for court? Or do litigators have to dress up more?
Anom
Depositions too. At least the early meetings with witnesses. In my experiences as both patent litigator and transactional atty (but as a specialist not the corporate lead), litigators have more in person meetings with third parties as well as clients.
Peloton
I’m a litigator and made the above comment about not wearing real pants. Court and depos are still mostly virtual for me, so even if I’m wearing a blazer for video, I’m not wearing a full suit and heels. And I’m taking it off at any break.
anon
cardigans even
AnonyMom
After 2.5 of pandemic and almost 2y of working at a job and not meeting most coworkers (we are 100%remote) I have an in-person work things for a few days in Lisbon, and then again in Madrid this summer.
I work in fin-tech (so not a ton of women) , in the tech side. What do I pack?
Madrilian
Not sure about your company dress code, but generally speaking in Spain is more relax than in other European offices (thinking in London or Paris). Keep in mind that July is super hot here (above 35ºC) but dry, Aug a bit less and Jun/Sep quite nice. And we have the same AC wars between men and women in the offices.
If it were my company HQ the tech people dress quite casual. But here only directors have to wear suits compulsory Mo-Th, we have casual Friday for everyone.
(not sure If I have posted twice, apologies)