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Updated: Apr 22, 2022 261 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I'm not regularly a pink girl for shoes, but Miz Mooz has a ton of fun hot pink options right now. I like these bright sandals (so unexpected!) but the whole line is nice.

I don't know if Miz Mooz is officially a “comfort brand” or not, but they've always been high on my list for comfortable, walkable brands.

The shoes are $99 at Nordstrom and Zappos. Happy weekend, all!

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Sales of note for 9.16.24

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Anon

    Anybody have favorite low-FODMAP recipes or meal ideas? A lot of my favorite foods are in the high FODMAP category (alliums, mushrooms, cauliflower, beans, dairy) so I need some inspiration.

    • Anonymous

      Garlic oil is lowFODMAP I think, and an excellent way to get the onion taste. Also, chives – time to start a windowsill pot.

    • Anonymous

      How about some creamy polenta with jalapeños or chives for your cauli or bean cravings?

      Maybe some miso broth or miso sauteed veg to get the earthy umami of mushrooms? Sage as a spice also has that earthy taste.

    • Anon

      America’s Test Kitchen has a good Gut Health cookbook that’s focused on low FODMAP and good at providing options for other dietary restrictions. Like the commenter above suggested, they use a lot of garlic oil to get flavor without alliums. They also discuss lower FODMAP options for people who aren’t on a total elimination diet- like lentils are okay for most people as long as you eat them in smaller quantities.

  2. Ses

    I do actually kind of love these sandals.
    Hey, anyone else watching the market right now and getting bummed out? I just invested a huge (like, once in a lifetime level) bonus and watching it shrink is really demoralising.
    And this was a fairly risk-averse mix relative to my age group.

    • Anon

      Definitely bummed. I was close to reaching a retirement milestone that I busted azz to get to, and everything slipped back SO far.

      • anon

        Same here. It just keeps hovering slightly below the milestone and driving me crazy.

    • Anonymous

      This is why I don’t watch the market and don’t obsessively watch my retirement account balances. That money isn’t real until you sell the assets in retirement. What’s important is the general trend over 30+ years, not the short-term fluctuations. I operate on the set-it-and-forget-it plan. Keep chucking money in every paycheck, rebalance periodically. That’s it.

        • Anon

          Same. I check it about once a quarter when I do a financial wellness check for our house and usually it’s up quarter to quarter unless things have been really bad.

      • Anon

        You are my soul sister. Set it and forget it because very little good can come out of following the market changes.

    • Anon

      I’ve been an adult through the dot com crash, 9/11, the recession before the great recession, the great recession and whatever you call now. As long as you can tighten your belt to ride out the current instability, you’ll come out of it better off than before it started.
      The people who end up in the hurt locker are the ones who freak out and sell when the market takes a dive (or are forced to because of circumstances).

      • Ellen

        My dad went through all of those things, as did I, tho I was in school for most of them, even after 2008, but we stuck it out. I’d hate to be retired now and watch my portfollio dither away, but my dad and Ed are managing my assets for me and they say this will not be as bad as 9/11 or 2008, tho now even Myrna is panicking, and she is in the industry! She thinks that the US will become a 3rd world nation unless we get back on our feet soon. Dad says it reminds him of Jimmy Carter who was a peanut farmer before he became president, but got ran out of office when Inflation got out of hand. I wasn’t born until 1982, and don’t remember any of that. Right now, I just have to focus on my job and making sure we keep all of our cleints. YAY!!

  3. Anonymous

    Looking for advice – are there any trusted blogs, stores, or websites that specialize in wide width shoes? I have a duck foot shape and my pinky toes appreciate a wide width. My legs are narrow and I need regular width for calf size (example – tall boots). I don’t care about the brand, but I get frustrated searching for shoes and then finding out the brand has one style available in wide width, for example. Naturalizer has a way to sort by width but not all do.

    • Anon

      I liked Zappos for this. My son had to wear leg braces that needed XXW shoes and zappos was the only place I found that worked well / easily and most importantly, had easy returns.

    • Anonymous

      My experience has been that it’s easier to search each brand’s website that carries wide or search Nordstrom or Zappos by width. I usually return to the same few brand because frankly a wide width outside of athletic shoes is not easy to find. Naturalizer, Munro, Vionic and Sam Edelman are my go-tos. I’m sad Blondo stopped making wides.

    • Kathy

      I get most of my shoes online from Nordstrom or Zappos. You can search by width. They both have generous return policies so plenty of time to try on the shoes at home. The brands that work for me are Munro, Naturalizer, Clarks, but also some shoes that are technically not wide width but still work from Gabor or Mephisto.

    • Ellen

      Both Rosa and I have wide feet. Dad took us to the Barber shop in Manhasset when we were little girls to show the guys there our feet. They all laughed at our wide feet and suggested we go to the Army/Navy store to get some snow shoes. What jerks. Rosa did not appreciate the humor.

  4. NewJobAnon

    I’m about to accept a new job that will result in a gap in health insurance from mid-May to mid-July due to the waiting period to join my new employer’s plan. I’m open to using COBRA retroactively, but can’t figure out if the IRS requirement for minimum essential coverage allows this long of a short coverage gap if I end up just foregoing coverage for the full period (the language is “less than three months”). Does anyone have experience with a similar gap in coverage that spanned less than 90 days but was technically across three calendar months?

    • Anon

      Not an expert but based on my own experience in 2021, I believe this is a non-issue. I left one job for another (no time off between). Old Job’s health insurance immediately turned off but I had COBRA available to use retroactively if needed. New Job’s health insurance had a waiting period of 60 days (spread across three calendar months).

      Between the new job and the old job, my IRS health insurance coverage forms came with check boxes in all of the months. I am not certain but I think this is because the COBRA availability “counted” whether I actually used it or not.

      • Bonnie Kate

        +1 I think you technically have to report that you weren’t covered when you filed your taxes, but there isn’t actually a penalty.

      • Anon

        Idk I just did my taxes and was facing a penalty for not having coverage for a month – I’m in CA – but I actually did have coverage for the month, just filled it out wrong. The penalty was about the amount I pay for coverage on the exchange (I’m self employed)

        • AZCPA

          There’s no IRS/federal penalty.

          Some states like California will assess a penalty if you don’t have coverage, and each can set their own rules on what a short gap entails, and allowable reasons for not being insured. So OP, I’d start with your state to see if there’s any mandate to even worry about.

    • NewJobAnon

      Thanks all, this is helpful advice especially around the state penalties. Appreciate it!

    • Anon

      When you mention using Cobra retroactively, I think you plan to sign up only if you need it, right? If that is the case, remember that in a worst-case scenario (say, a bad accident), you’re SOL if you don’t get the Cobra forms in the mail, and you may not be in a good position to do that.

      When I was in a similar situation I just signed up for Cobra knowing I may not need it because I didn’t want to miss deadlines or eligibility if something catastrophic happened. And yeh, I am more risk averse than many.

      • LaurenB

        I know a woman whose husband was on the second day of his new job (hence not eligible for their health insurance til the end of the month) and had a major health issue (which ultimately resulted in his death, but not after 2 months of intensive care unit bills). They were ultimately able to COBRA-in-retrospect from his old job, but they were relying on a GoFundMe for bills that quickly reached six figures. I would not take the risk – I would go COBRA til I had new insurance.

  5. Anon

    I have a slight vitamin D deficiency. Other than eating more fish (sushi for lunch today — spicy tuna roll FTW), has anyone had any luck getting this # to budge? I’m not about to take a fish oil supplement. But I will eat more cheese :)

    • A Nonny Mouse

      I had a significant deficiency, and taking 5000 IU of D3 daily has gotten my levels to a good range.

      • Anon

        I do this too. It brought me back up to the bottom of the normal range, which was a big movement for me. I don’t take other supplements – generally I think of them as producing expensive pee – but this one worked for me. Make sure you get one with vitamin k as well, as it seems you need one to absorb the other.

        I get mine on Amazon and have them auto delivered every 2 months (I take one per day and the bottle is 60 tablets.) I have to take Synthroid in the morning anyway, so it was easy enough to just add this to it.

    • Anon

      My endocrinologist put me on a megadose of D to be taken twice a month, instead of a daily amount to be taken all the time. He claimed that method works better for long-term deficiencies of fat-soluble vitamins.

      • BeenThatGuy

        Mine did the same several years ago. And it’s worked. Been in the normal range since about 3 months after I started.

      • Anon

        I thought that food-as-vitamin worked better due to it being fat-soluble (or something like that).

        • A Nonny Mouse

          Very few foods have Vitamin D. If she doesn’t want to take fish-oil supplements, she probably doesn’t want to eat fatty fishes or beef liver, either.

        • Anonymous

          I thought the problem with vitamin D is that it isn’t commonly found in foods other than fish, which is why milk is fortified and many people take supplements.

          • Ellen

            Dad makes me take 5000 i.u. of Vitamin D-3 every day to fight COVID. It has worked b/c I have not gotten COVID, but I also got the vaccine and was b’oosted. I also took the Moderna vaccine b/c Ed took it for free at Merrill Lynch with Rosa since she could tolerate it even tho she is so petite.

    • Anon

      What does fish oil have to do with anything? Take a Vitamin D supplement. If you’re actually deficient, it’s not normally something you can fix through diet and sunshine. Even small Vitamin D deficiencies really mess with your body, including your immune system. You want to take a supplement ASAP to correct it. I see an endocrinologist for thyroid issues and the one thing he does with every new patient (besides the standard thyroid tests) is a Vitamin D test and a high dose supplement for anyone who is even slightly low. I had normal range levels and he still thought I could benefit from supplementing. My understanding is that it’s basically impossible to have too much Vitamin D, especially if you live far from the equator.

    • LaurenB

      Just take a vitamin D supplement. It’s a good idea anyway from a Covid-prevention standpoint – it’s the one supplement that has been proven to have a beneficial effect.

      • Anon

        Melatonin has also been shown to have a beneficial effect against Covid. But I agree, take the Vitamin D.

    • Anon

      I’ve had a hard time raising D historically. I read somewhere that magnesium deficiency could make it harder. So I’m taking magnesium in addition to my D3 supplement, and at least I’m within range now. Bonus: the magnesium seems to help me sleep (magnesium glycinate). I’d still like to get my levels up to where they’re thought to potentially help protect against MS since my family has a lot of autoimmunity and MS is one of the conditions I don’t want to end up with.

        • Anon

          I’m not really brand loyal, but 1-2 of the 200mg NOW brand is what I’ve been taking lately (since NOW what was what was cheapest last time I bought it).

  6. Anonymous

    I’m going to a BBQ this weekend and trying to think of healthyish green sides I can bring – any ideas or should I just do the Skinnytaste kale salad?

    • MagicUnicorn

      I love the Honey Mustard Broccoli Salad from Budget Bytes for this sort of thing. It’s a hit any time I take it somewhere and is so easy to make.

    • anon2

      Smitten Kithcen just posted a recipe for snacking asparagus that looked really good. (I haven’t made it.)

    • Anon

      Everyone likes a broccoli slaw. I know it has a fatty, sweet dressing, but hey, broccoli.

      I don’t like to make it with the prepackaged slaw mix. I can post a recipe if you like.

      • Anonymous

        The Cooking Light cranberry-almond broccoli salad is great. It replaces about half the mayo in the dressing with Greek yogurt, which I think tastes better because it isn’t so heavy. I blanch the broccoli instead of using it raw.

    • Mouse

      I love a broccoli salad, which others already have covered, and also a grated carrot salad (not ‘green’ but veggie so maybe counts?) – I use the David Lebovitz recipe.

    • brussels sprouts

      Love me some roasted brussels sprouts! Cut ’em half, toss ’em with just a touch of olive oil, garlic salt, and black pepper, bake on a tray at 400 degrees for ~30 minutes (or until they start to turn golden brown).

      • PolyD

        And they are shockingly good cold/at room temp. My cafeteria used to have a tray of cold roasted Brussels sprouts (I think they roasted some onions along with them) on the salad bar and they were very good.

    • Anonymous

      I’d probably go with a pan roasted asparagus or a broccoli slaw with lemon-tahini dressing or a napa cabbage slaw with a basil (or mint) buttermilk dressing.

  7. Anonymous

    Does anyone else feel like the world is less s*xist lately? I had to fight for college admissions, jobs, important projects, everything was a battle, but lately I’ve just been selected based on my merits and it’s so strange. Every time a good thing happens and it wasn’t a fight I’m uneasy. I’m not exactly sure what the point of this was, but maybe this is what it’s like to be a man?

    • Anon

      Apparently it’s still rampant with getting into a competitive college even if you are well-qualified for it. Guys need to fog a mirror, but it seems like it’s just a different game for them.

    • Anon

      A senior engineer joked in front of leadership this week that I should take over for the retiring packaging engineer, since I know better what it’s like to have a box, and nobody thought that was worthy of reprimand. So…no.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t even understand the innuendo, which must mean it is very crude indeed.

      • Anonymous

        This is a perfect example of when to totally plead ignorance and say, with a very serious and confused face, “I don’t understand, what do you mean by that, Bob? Can you explain the joke?”

        • Anon

          It’s a shame that your instinctive response to crude s*xism is to Monday-morning quarterback the proper way for the woman to respond to it.

          • LaurenB

            No, it’s a helpful way to suggest how to deal with a situation which is obviously untenable.

          • Anon

            I didn’t read it as victim shaming. You can empathize with a woman who experienced sexism, think the guy who said it is gross, and still offer her a possible snappy comeback for next time.

    • Anonymous

      Nope, not at all. If anything, the world is more*xist than it was 5 or 10 years ago.

      • Anon

        I agree that we are moving backward, legislatively and culturally. I’m about at the age where I’ll be the old lady marching with a sign that says “I can’t believe I’m still protesting this sh*t!”

    • Anonymous

      Glad things are falling into place for you but overall no. I mean who do you think has opted out of the work force or taken steps back in their career due to kids in a pandemic? Largely it wasn’t the guys. So who is going to have resume gaps to explain or a lower salary history or jobs more on the sidelines that they need to come back from?

      • Anon

        I was on a D&I committee and one of the two chairs, a man in his thirties, looked at the stats for how women are well represented at entry level but fall off as we go up the chart into leadership positions, and he literally said, “yes but those are typically in the years where women are having children and can’t keep up with the demands of a leadership job.”

        The CO-CHAIR of the diversity and inclusion committee, ladies and gentlemen.

        Yes, I snapped back. And yes, now I’m the “angry feminist.”

      • No Face

        Yeah, literally millions of women were pushed out the workforce in the past two years, whether they liked it or not. Major setback for working women.

        My career is definitely not where it would have been if I had real, all workday every workday childcare the last two years even though I’m still working.

    • Anon

      I keep thinking it’s the older generation of men, and once they retire things will get better, but I have been very disappointed to see men of my own and younger generations being the same kind of garbage. Even if they make an effort to sound woke. It’s all performative.

      • Anon

        The younger ones are worse, it’s like taking an abuser to counseling. They’re intentionally learning the language and tools to get away with more bullish*t. At least the older ones are bumbling idiots who show their true colors right off the bat.

      • Anon

        Agree with this. I’ve also found it to be a bigger issue as I’ve advanced further in in my career- pretty much a nonissue in high school and undergrad, worse in grad school, and then much worse when I became a professor and suddenly there were no women around anymore.

      • Anonymous

        This. I feel like the men of this generation – those that are currently in their mid 30s and 40s 100% realize that they benefit from the system as it is. So while they are big proponents of D&I committees and talking about the issues – so that they seem like they care – they are VERY invested in making sure things don’t change too much nor become too equal. They aren’t like the age 50+ men who will come out and say – women don’t work hard, they should be home with kids or whatever BS. These guys talk the talk but let’s be real in their OWN homes, it’s largely their wives that are the primary parent running off to daycare every time a kid needs a parent because THEY don’t want to have to be rescheduling meetings or be out of sight. IDK what the 20 something guys are like just yet, they’re probably too young in their careers right now for it to matter.

        • Anonymous

          +1 million. They get so resentful and/or brag a ridiculous amount about the little that they actually do around the house and with the kids. They really want everything just to happen invisibly the way it did for their dads, and they feel cheated that they have to compete with women at work and don’t have every single thing done for them around the house. But g-d forbid a wife suggest that maybe everyone would be happier if she stayed home to take care of all that, because it’s not fair to expect the man to bring in all the money.

    • Ribena

      No, I get mansplained to constantly by the senior engineer running my project. CON-STANT-LY. And I can’t seem to get a break on a promotion when all the men I know are getting promoted based on potential.

    • anonymous

      In my office it’s only the older men making bigoted comments but maybe that’s because the old men never give anyone else a chance to speak. Whoops did I just type that…

      • BeenThatGuy

        This. I recently timed my C-suite male boss talking for 47 minutes straight. Not making a presentation or anything. Just non-stop talking in a meeting with 7 other people.

    • Anon

      I manage a lawyer who persistently refers to his lack of attention to detail as a “man scan.”

    • Anon

      Are you kidding? At least from a US perspective:
      Incels
      Women-belong-in-the-home far righters
      Anti-abortion legislation
      Only 6.2% of the S&P 500 companies are headed by women
      No female US president
      Women still do the majority of parenting and eldercare
      Women still make less
      No equal rights amendment
      Men still the default first listed party on mortgages by companies
      Women’s healthcare concerns often dismissed, pain dismissed, scientific studies for medicines etc inadequately address female hormone fluctuations
      Rape culture
      Do we need to keep going?

      • LaurenB

        In fairness, the majority of this country DID vote for a woman in the 2016 presidential election. Sigh.

    • Anon

      Nope, I’ve encountered far more sexism in the last five years than ever before. But I also had my first kid 4 years ago which opened me up to a whole new world of pregnancy and motherhood discrimination.

      Is college admissions sexism a thing? I definitely had people tell me I only got admitted to my prestigious college because I was a girl (which is sexist and untrue) but I didn’t think there was a whole lot of sexism in the admissions process itself, at least not relative to the working world.

      • Anonymous

        Girls are doing better than boys in high school, so maintaining a 50/50 gender ratio means that the college admissions game is way more competitive for girls. I have told my daughter that as a smart high-achieving generic suburban girl she is in the dime-a-dozen category and shouldn’t even bother with elite schools. If she were a boy they’d be beating down her door.

        • Anon

          I don’t think that’s really true. Getting into an elite college is a complete crapshoot for everyone. As someone who used to work in admissions for a sought-after Ivy, I can assure you that Harvard and Yale and Stanford are not beating down the doors of any high-achieving generic suburban boys. Maybe if you’re an Olympic gold medalist or have published original research to great acclaim (and even then the elite schools don’t really chase you, they’re just more likely to accept you), but that’s hardly a “generic” situation.

          Also there are elite STEM-focused schools like MIT and Caltech that struggle to maintain gender balance in the other direction.

        • Anon

          Also boys far outscore girls on the SAT, which matters more to top colleges than high school grades. This isn’t nearly as simple as you’re making it out to be. Are there situations where an individual boy or girl gets passed over because of their gender? Yes. But globally, I don’t think there’s persuasive evidence that one gender or the other is favored in the admissions process.

          • Anon

            “Far outscore”? Source?

            If mediocre men don’t take the SAT, women’s averages will be dragged down, but that doesn’t mean there’s a dearth of 750+ women.

          • Anon

            Boys are ~40% more likely than girls to score in the 1400-1600 range, and that’s the range for elite colleges. This is a source I found quickly on Google but I’ve seen similar stats elsewhere too: https://msmagazine.com/2018/02/15/highest-performing-women-still-scoring-lower-men-sat/
            I believe but don’t know for sure that the gap is less pronounced when talking about more average scores. But a girl who can score 1500+ on the SAT is not going to find herself in an applicant pool where girls are over-represented.

      • Anon

        I feel like it is the reverse — an abundance of well-qualified women and social pressures for a “good” cis dating culture means that admissions are held to 50% of slots and not one more for women regardless of merit and 50% of slots for men, many are in spite of not-as-quantifiable-merit-and-presence-of-Y chromosome. It is maddening.

        • anonshmanon

          It sounds like admissions offices are concerned with the campus dating culture? Is that really what you are saying?

          • Anon

            Not for dating specifically, but generally admissions offices do like a gender balanced class, along with geographic balance, extracurricular balance, etc.

    • Of Counsel

      Relative to when I started as a lawyer in 1992? Yes. There is far, far less sexism – both explicit and implicit

      Relative to 5 – 10 years ago? Not really. People have gotten better at saying what they are supposed to say And they seem to think that using the “right” words are enough and it does not really matter what they actually do I am so tired of it I do not care if you refer to a group of women as “guys” I care that you seem to think that women who do not have children are defective and women who do have children lack commitment to their careers

    • Peloton

      Yes, I think women who fought those fights over the past decades should be very, very, very proud of the world they have created for women coming up now. Sounds like you did some of that fighting, so thank you.

  8. Anon

    I bought some cut Gerbera daisies yesterday. They came with the plastic straws/sleeves on the stems. The straws/sleeves are bright green. Was I supposed to take them off when I put them in the vase, or leave them on? TIA!!

    • OP

      I take them off – always thought they were to protect the delicate stems in transit.

    • Lisa G

      Yes–those are just for transport to keep the stems from breaking off those (expensive!) flowers.

    • MagicUnicorn

      I leave them on to help keep the heavy flowerheads from drooping, but have zero clue whether or not that is the intended purpose.

      • Anon

        That’s what I do too. When I have removed them, they needed help staying up.

  9. Anonymous

    Would anyone care to help me out with book recommendations? I am looking for a light, funny nonfiction book as a distraction gift for a friend who is stressed out and going through major, heavy life stuff. Target audience is 40s, mom of teenagers, teacher, liberal-ish. Nothing super crude.

    • Anonymous

      Mary Roach has a fun book about the gastrointestinal system, very interesting.

      Buzz, by Thor Hansson, about bees.

    • Anon

      The Feather Thief!

      It’s a pretty short non-fiction book following a fascinating story. A man steals a near-priceless collection of birds from the British Natural History Museum to facilitate an esoteric hobby. It was a mishmash of so many unusual niches and was a delight.

    • Senior Attorney

      Moonwalking With Einstein by Joshua Foer — about a guy who taught himself to be a memory champion. Fun and interesting!

    • Anonymous

      I always think Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris is funny. Old but good.

    • Anon

      Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl is a great read, especially if she’s at all into food.

      • Anon

        I can’t read Carl Hiassen on airplanes, which I have learned the hard way. Too much blast laughing!!

    • CMS

      The Nineties by Chuck Klosterman is allowing me to relive absolutely everything that I’d forgotten.

    • Anon

      Does she like Gilmore Girls? Lauren Graham’s book of essays was cute and I can’t recall their being anything particularly heavy in it. I also liked Mindy Kaling’s, Amy Poehler’s and Ali Wong’s memoirs, although the latter is probably too crude and both Mindy and Amy dealt with some heavier topics (cancer, divorce, etc) in theirs IIRC.

  10. Anon

    If you got a big C-suite job and huge signing bonus that allowed you to revamp your wardrobe, where would you shop and who would be your style inspiration? And the fantasy applies only to the job and money — you have to dress your actual figure, personality, and color season.

    • Anon

      Selina Mayer in Veep would be my inspiration. I don’t know where her clothes came from, but I’d definitely shop at Reiss, Hobbs, Theory, and Akris.

        • Anne-on

          The Fold store in London does private shopping visits by appointment. It was my Christmas gift to myself one year, I ‘only’ bought three pieces and could have easily bought out half the store. They have past season options in store and will pull for you ahead of time too. Highly recommend it for a special splurge if you’re there.

      • Anon

        Selina Meyer wore a lot of Victoria Beckham dresses. And totally agree, she’s my style icon in the fictional world in which I have unlimited money and a Big Job.

        • Anon

          I can’t even afford secondhand Victoria Beckham! My dreams will stay dreams.

    • Anonymous

      I would go nuts at The Fold. All the structured dresses.

      Style inspiration is more difficult. I enjoy following Queen Letizia’s wardrobe, and her body type is surprisingly close to mine, but some of the stuff she wears is just kind of weird.

    • MagicUnicorn

      If I really needed a luxury wardrobe (and not just nice current pieces from Nordstrom or Boden or JCrew or BR or the like) and money was no object, I would find some amazing fabrics and hire a seamstress to custom sew some pieces inspired by The Fold but that would be tailored to fit my not-a-model body.

    • Anon

      I’m plus size so I’d fly to Europe and shop Marina Rinaldi (Max Mara sister brand) – and in fact, I have done this, though my job did not give a clothing allowance.

      • Anonymous

        Would love to have a Max Mara budget, but tend to find their colors unbelievably dull. Any recs for similar quality but less beige and white?

        • Anon

          Hasn’t been my experience. I find Marina does a fair amount of warm/autumn colors, but I also have cool toned pieces from them – a gorgeous green dress, navy suiting separates, etc.

    • anon

      Claire Underwood. Because you only get that look if you have all the time and $$$ in the world for tailoring, perfect fabrics, and someone to iron everything for you.

    • Anonymous

      I still love the fashion in The Good Wife. And I would work with a London tailor for great suiting that actually fits.

      • Senior Attorney

        I love the fashion in The Good Fight, although I do think all the characters tend to dress more alike than they would if they were real people.

    • Anonymous

      Loved Gina Torres’ character’s wardrobe in suits – so whatever that would be ten years later would be an inspiration.

      Boss, Victoria Beckham, Joseph, Paul Smith, Vivienne Westwood…

      • Anonymous

        My first thought was, what? Zoe didn’t wear suits! Her leather vest was awesome, though.

      • Anonymous

        Should have been capitals Suits, but hey, that Firefly vest was awesome!

    • Peloton

      Do you know your sizes, including–and especially–in undergarments? If not, first stop should be a personal shopping appointment at Nordstrom that includes a fitting for undergarments. The delta between “pretty close” and a “perfect fit” in underpinnings is the delta between “expensive clothes that look cheap” and “actual polish.”

      Then agree with others that you should explore non-department store options.

  11. Anon

    Any of my fellow migraineurs have a really prolonged aura? Yesterday I had a doozy of a migraine and my visual aura was close to three hours long. I couldn’t look at anything so I tried to nap through it but the headache was concurrent (usually the headache is after the aura for me) so it was really hard to sleep.

    I don’t take any daily meds for migraine other than baby aspirin because I only have 1-3 migraines per year.

    • Senior Attorney

      Once in a blue moon I’ll have a migraine that’s aura only, with no headache at all. (Normally when I have the headache there’s no aura — crazy, huh?) And yeah, it can last for quite a wihle.

      • Anon

        Thanks, I see the one. I sometimes have aura only and no significant headache. But I got both yesterday and feel hung over or not quite through it today.

    • Anon

      Yes, sometimes my aura can be hours long. Triptans do not work for me; I have tried Topamax in the past but it made me feel really weird. My treatment med combo right now is metoprolol + gabapentin, and the gabapentin does tend to help with bad aura, but for the most part I have to wait for it to pass. I will also sometimes get visual migraines and again, have not found much medication-wise that seems to help. I am hoping maybe some other migraineurs will have suggestions.

      • Anon

        Do you take metoprolol and gabapentin at onset? Or are they maintenance drugs for you?

        I’m a day out and one of my eyes still feels a little messed up. My head feels sore today where it really hurt yesterday.

        I made an appointment to see my PCP next week. I tried to call a neurologist I’ve seen before, years ago, but he requires a new referral unfortunately. When I saw him ages ago and described my prolonged aura, he said vasoconstrictors were a bad idea for me because of the prolonged aura – some stroke risk – so I’ve been white knuckling it with Aleve and Tylenol only, but I know the meds have evolved.

        • Anon

          At onset, although my doctor is encouraging me to take the gabapentin daily to deal with hot flashes. I have not had so many hot flashes that I feel like it’s warranted yet, but I may get there.

          I want to give you a big hug for the white-knuckling thing. There are better options now than OTC. I never was able to tolerate triptans – they gave me horrible neck/jaw pain that was almost as bad as the migraine (it happens in some people). I am fortunate to have a regular GP that is willing to talk through options with me and prescribe things to see what works, and right now, the metoprolol/gabapentin thing is working. One good thing with the gabapentin is that since it works specifically on the nerve, I have far less/less prolonged postdrome after migraines than I used to in the past. I hope you can get some relief soon.

          • Anon

            Thank you for the hug. I think I needed it. I lost a full workday Thursday to the actual migraine and all day Friday due to the hangover. I really was useless.

            There are a lot of good things about being self employed, but lack of sick days isn’t one of them!

    • Anne-on

      I used to white knuckle it through because triptans didn’t work for me. The new meds make a huge difference, ubrevly is a godsend, I highly recommend asking about it. Before then, excedrine migraine, a full sugar coke, and McDonald’s French fries is my go to combo.

      • Anon

        I am another “gimme a full-sugar Coke” person when my migraines hit. I know so many people who use it as a symptom-soother, Coca-Cola should work it into their advertising somehow, LOL

    • Peloton

      I have what you’re describing, down to the cadence. The only time the visual aura has lasted more than 20-30 minutes is when I was freshly pregnant and dealing with wonky low blood pressure. I’m sure you’d know if you were dealing with the pregnancy piece, but flagging just in case you’re not taking a look at the blood pressure piece.

  12. Anonymous

    What’s the quality like on the ON Pixie pants? I see them mentioned here a lot. I imagine ON pants being thin and cheap/rough.
    Thanks.

    • Anon

      They are what you expect for the price point. I buy a stack in my size in black and navy, expect them to fade with regular wearing, and pull a new pair out of the stack every few months. I am a plus-tall, and they’re way cheaper than other pants I can find, and I like that they’re unlined and easy to take to a tailor to hem.

    • MagicUnicorn

      Cute for a minute but really low quality fabric that fades, pills, and bags out in the butt and knees after a few hours. Okay if you are on a very tight budget and have no other options, but frustrating if you are not into disposable clothing.

    • The Lone Ranger

      Try the Liz Claiborne Emma at JCP. Similar price point when on sale, which is almost every 3rd day. Wear well, decently made. I have 5 year old black ones that still look great.

    • Anon

      BR Sloan are similar but will last way way longer. Try to get them during 40% off sale and wash in cold water, hang to dry,

  13. Anonymous

    Healing from heartbreak, my therapist says it just takes time and I’m doing everything right, but I am so sick of this underlying hum of sadness and of feeling like there are emotional pitfalls everywhere. I know it takes time but emotionally, I am exhausted by this. I live with vulnerable people so most of the fun I’d try to do to distract me is out (trivia nights, the gym, etc.). Support or commiseration or anything you’ve got would be helpful please. I know my IRL friends are sick of hearing about this guy whom they never liked anyway (for good reason).

    • Anonymous

      Do something for someone else to get yourself out of your own head. Volunteering, etc.

    • Anon

      I’m going through the same thing! And mine was a 2-month situationship, so I feel stupid for even feeling like this in the first place. I’m sorry – I really empathize with you. I think it just takes time.

    • Anon

      Can you take a trip or do some outdoor activities like kayaking, outdoor yoga classes, hiking? I think break ups are especially tough during covid because you have a harder time distracting yourself but anything to get away, get out of town would be helpful.

    • Anonymous

      I empathize. Coming out of the funk of a breakup of a two-year relationship Time certainly helps eventually, but I have found it takes me a long time and happens in sudden leaps, not at a slow and steady pace. I have gotten the most relief from a couple of random hookups, honestly.

    • Anon

      Doing things that made me feel most like myself, that gave me continuity with my identity, helped me through heartache. That included visiting some places from my past on vacation, traveling with friends, rereading a favorite book, not abandoning my regular routines (iced coffee, empanadas and the new yorker at a cafe on sundays). All the good body and mind care matters – meditation, sleep, nutrition (I’m not saying you need to eat super healthy all the time, but like take some magnesium and b12 supplements). Dance helps process emotions out of the body, even if you’re just swaying to a song that makes you feel good.
      It does get better. I hope your days start to feel easier soon.

      • Anon

        +1000 to this.

        When my first husband moved out and took basically everything (that wasn’t the deal, but that was the house I came home to) I had a futon on the floor with no bed frame. I went out to used book stores and bought stacks of used books to read, but also to use as temporary nightstands. Having “too many books” drove him crazy, and I pledged to live in a house full of shoes and books for the rest of my life, a promise I’ve kept. I’m remarried and my husband is fine with my book habits.

    • Peloton

      This is how we heal — we encounter the triggers, experience nothing worse than negative emotions, and then the triggers become less powerful over time. So even though you’re frustrated, it may be helpful to remember that this is what healing looks like. You are exhausted because you are working.

  14. Anon for this

    Tell me if I’m overreacting. My boyfriend has a tendency to screenshot Instagram photos to send to people. Last night, we were looking at his camera roll and there was a screenshot of a woman in a bikini. I pretended to be scandalized and asked who she was. He told me that it was a friend of his college friend, and that he’d taken the screenshot to ask his college friend what beach she was on. I sensed something a bit off with this answer, and said, “Show me the message to the college friend?”

    He said he couldn’t because that was a lie. He then pivoted that she was an acquaintance of his from a different social circle (completely unrelated to the college friend) and that he’d taken the screenshot to zoom into her face to see if it was actually her, since she looked different than how he’d remembered her. I got really, really upset.

    For me, this felt like just really strange because how easily he lied about who she was, how he knew her, and why he’d saved the photo. He said that he’d panicked because it looked shady to have the saved photo on his phone, and that he promised to never lie again. I’m just having so much trouble getting over it though. It feels so strange that had I not asked to see the message, I would have never known he was lying and maybe there are many other small white lies that I wouldn’t catch. Is this normal? Does everyone do this? I know I can tell small lies on occasion to save feelings too, but it is so disorienting to be on the receiving end of it. It feels less about trusting him and more about trust in general – how precious and fragile it is, and how easy it is for people to just say things that aren’t true.

    Am I overreacting? I kept going on about how I feel like it was a huge breach in trust and how awful it felt, but I don’t know if I am blowing it out of proportion since it’s such a small thing. I know he’d never cheat on me and I do believe the second answer he gave me, but it still feels so weird and I’m having trouble letting go.

    • Anonymous

      Omg why did you pick this silly fight to begin with? He clearly just thought she was hot what is the problem?

    • Anon

      I think your gut is telling you this is a red flag, and you should listen to it.

      • Anon for this

        Do you think it actually is a red flag based on the action, or just on my reaction to it? I have experiences with weird boyfriends / lying, so I think I do have a tendency to catastrophize and anticipate the worst.

        • Senior Attorney

          Dude, if your rule for relationships is “I get to tell little white lies but you don’t because I have a History,” I don’t think that is going to serve you well.

        • Anon

          Your reaction is super important to the analysis! I think if it was no big deal, you probably would have sensed that. Women are very intuitive about this type of thing.

          • Anonymous

            No way, women can project a problem that doesn’t exist or avoid one that definitely does just like anyone else. The value of one’s intuition really does depend on how intuitive one is.

    • Senior Attorney

      Okay, from the standpoint of presuming good intentions: I can (barely) imagine giving a false answer in the moment if the real reason he had the photo was embarassing. And he was obviously really bad at lying, and he fessed up immediately, so I can imagine it being a one-off.

      But. You took it seriously enough to get super upset, so you should look into where that’s coming from. Is it because you don’t trust your boyfriend for some reason? Or is it because you do the same thing and you suddenly realized it sucks to be on the other side and that makes you feel awful about yourself and you’re taking it out on him? Honestly this is where my spidey sense is going here, but only you know the real answer.

      Anyway, bottom line is jealously and mistrust is poison for a relationship so you need to either take it seriously and consider whether you two are not a match, or you need to really truly let it go.

      • Anon for this

        Thank you for this answer – those are really helpful things to consider. Something I didn’t mention, but was the biggest factor for me, was he’d expressed having experience with feelings of being addicted to “gardening videos” and had talked about self-gardening to Instagram models. I had anxiety about this affected our gardening life, since it seemed like maybe there was maybe some conditioning around what gardening should be and it didn’t always feel the most intimate.

        Our resolution for that had been that he’d promised that it wasn’t as big of a thing as I’d thought that it was, and that he didn’t feel like it impacted him to the extent I’d worried it did. He also stopped watching gardening videos for himself and that he’d told me that self-gardening to photos of girls he knew in real life seemed like cheating to him. I’d entirely forgotten about it for the most part and our gardening had started feeling more intimate. But seeing the screenshot (and then being lied to) made me worry that all of that had been a lie too, and that the impact of the gardening-video addiction / Instagram conditioning may have impacted him in the way I was initially anxious about.

        Again, I may be totally overreacting. My feeling was just like, if you can lie about this, does that mean any of the previous conversation we’d had about this topic may be lies too? And then also worrying about him self-gardening to photos of girls he knows, which I don’t think is the case, but still makes me uneasy to think about.

        • Anon

          So…I’m wondering if the other commenters are dating in this current era? Don’t get me wrong – I respect their advice, but it helps to know the current state of play. IME guys who thirst after women on Instagram are trouble.

          • Anon for this

            I think that was a major part of it for me. Like if he just lied because he was embarrassed about being nosey, that wouldn’t bother me at all. But because of the lie, I got freaked out that there was self-gardening or thirsting involved. I feel like that is a firm boundary for me. I don’t want to have a boyfriend who screenshots bikini photos of girls he knows IRL for lusty reasons, but because of the first lie, it was hard to trust whether or not anything else he said about it was true.

          • Anon

            Honestly, my money remains on “he takes screenshots of bikini photos of girls he knows IRL for lusty reasons,” which is what I assumed based on your initial post as well. That makes a lot more sense to me than his story #1 or his story #2, and it makes more sense as a reason he’d lie in the first place if he knows you’re not cool w/this. Maybe I just think this because it crossed your mind and you’re the one who conveyed the story though.

          • Anon

            I’m not dating in the current era, but I don’t understand why jerking off to a bikini model on Instagram is different than jerking off to the cover of Sports Illustrated 20 years ago. What am I missing? I totally agree that leaving thirsty comments for Instagram models would be creepy to me, because there is a level of interactivity there that you don’t get with dirty magazines. But it sounds to me like he had just screenshot-ed the photo and there was no evidence he was leaving comments/messages?

          • Anonymous

            Well, some women don’t find the Sports Illustrated thing acceptable either. That was a dealbreaker for me back when I was dating 20 years ago.

          • Anon

            Pretty sure >99% of straight men in the US masturbate. You’re allowed to have whatever dealbreakers you want, but that seems like one that’s going to severely limit your dating poo and/or encourage your partner to lie to you.

        • Senior Attorney

          Well this is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish, isn’t it? Maybe the two of you are not a match?

          • anon

            Yea. I mean I couldn’t care less who my boyfriend uses for his own pleasure on his own time bc I want to use whoever I want to in my own time! My lust for some hot dude on Instagram has nothing to do with my love for my boyfriend. And until he does something more than just use a picture, it’s not a problem for me.

            HOWEVER, you get to decide what your boundaries are and if j e r k i n g off to strangers on IG is one of them then so be it. I don’t think you get to tell him he has to stop doing it though. You can tell him how you feel and see what he does. If he wants to do this and it doesn’t work for you, then you need to break up.

          • Anon

            I have to say, I would be beyond creeped out if I learned someone I personally knew in real life had been trawling social media for vacation photos of me and had photos of me saved on their phone for this purpose.

          • Anon

            Does he actually know her? I assumed “I was zooming in to see if I knew her” (lol yeah sure) was the white lie for the truth of “she’s a random girl whose photo I was using.” Am I interpreting this wrong?

            But yeah generally I think you shouldn’t put bikini photos on social media if you don’t want anyone using them for this purpose.

        • Dr. The Original ...

          Okay, so your question in the post isn’t actually your question. It sounds like your question is actually, “after a boundaries discussion with my bf, I discovered that he’d broken the agreement. When caught, he initially lied, then either gave an odd confession or gave a second lie. Am I wrong to be upset about this?”

          The reality here is that you were clear with him on your boundaries and he agreed; no lusty IG use. It’s clear he screenshot for lusty reasons. He also lied at least once when caught, which indicates he knew what he did would upset you.

          I think you either need to decide you don’t care who or what he uses for self time and then get over it and never ask him about it or decide that this is important to you and thus it means that his breaking that agreement is major and his lying about it is major and the two of you need to discuss whether the original agreement is okay with him and this was a one time error or if his self needs and your boundaries make the two of you incompatible.

          But to answer your original question, it’s never overreacting when something feels off, it’s only problematic if you don’t figure out why your reaction was so strong and then discuss the situation with your partner.

          PS What anyone else finds okay or not about self time doesn’t matter, we are each allowed our own boundaries and this is a negotiation with a partner or a dealbreaker with them, depending how much it matters to you.

    • Anon

      Yes, you are overreacting. This is a small, silly lie that doesn’t impact you at all. It’s like me protesting, “no, of course not!” when my husband teases me about whether or not I think a new coworker is handsome. It was a dumb thing to reflexively lie about, but not something to get even a little worked up over. Do you never lie?

      • anon

        Yea I am constantly zooming in on screenshots of social media bc I am nosy AF. I also would probably make up some small dumb lie bc admitting I am a nosy judgy person would not be my first choice. But none of this has anything to do with my relationship with my bf who I love very much and would never tell a lie too about something truly meaningful, like money.

      • Ellen

        There has to be other reasons for the red flag she sees in this guy. My ex always ooogled women on the Internet, but he did not know them. Even if he did, I doubt they’d even give him the time of day, let alone do anything s-xueal with him. But if the OP has sensed something untenable, it could be that he is not attentive to her, and focuses on people he does know, and that is so much worse than him playing sock puppet with his winkie while thinking of Kim Kardashian or Rhianna. My ex was a jerk, but a harmless one in the sense that most pretty women would always steer clear of him, and his breathe stunk b/c of the food that got stuck in his teeth.

        Since my ex couldn’t do better then me, I was the one who had to finally cut the cord. The OP’s situation may not be as one sided as mine, but I can tell her that even if he is more of a catch, I haven’t heard it yet here. I think he is kind of a doosh, and would think twice if he is even worth it.

    • Cat

      Like – if the real answer is “I remember her looking super different and wanted to zoom in to see if she got her nose and b–bs done” I would probably stumble over a dumb first answer too out of sheer embarrassment.

      • Anon

        Glad to know I am not the only one who does this, with the picture-zooming. So many of my contemporaries are getting work done and I can get a little obsessive about trying to figure out who’s done what, LOL

    • Anon

      Definitely a major red flag. I’m not so concerned with the specific lie just the fact that he lied to you like that. I’d be more concerned with whether this is indicative of his behavior and lack of trustworthiness or jus at one off situation. I’d really think about the entirety of your relationship and whether you can trust him going forward. Personally, this would probably cause my relationship to slow burn before it crashes.

      • Senior Attorney

        I can’t believe I’m taking the “pro-lying” position here, but if he fessed up immediately once it went beyond idle small talk, is it even really a lie?

        • Anon

          Idk. My bf has never lied about anything even when the truth was not ideal. It’s just not his nature.

          • Anonymous

            That you know of. I think it’s a rare person that can be completely candid with a partner about “self-gardening” preferences. My husband is the most honest person I’ve ever met – seriously, he is almost physically incapable of telling even the mildest white lies like “no, that dress doesn’t make you look fat” – and this is the one area in which he’s told me something resembling a white lie, although it was admittedly not nearly as detailed as this lie. The fact that OP’s BF seems to be bad at lying and fessed up immediately makes me think he is not a regular liar and there likely isn’t a more nefarious story here like cheating. Would it have been better for him to tell the truth that he was jerking off to it? I guess. But it’s a pretty obvious white lie to a very personal question and I really don’t think it’s that big a deal. YMMV.

    • Anon

      Personally I think you’re overreacting, yes. The lying isn’t great but I think it’s pretty obvious he was jerking off to it and didn’t want to admit that to you (even before I saw your follow-up comment that seemed like the obvious answer to me). Unless you have a problem with mast*rbation (which is kind of a separate issue), I don’t think this is really a big deal.

    • Honesty Here

      Yes, you’re overreacting. Of course he lied to you, you set him up. What was he supposed to say? “Oh don’t be upset babe, I just screenshotted this so I could ask my friend if he remembered Molly being this hot in college.” Had you asked him in a normal way instead of acting scandalized and trying to catch him in a lie, it sounds like he would’ve just been honest with you from the start.

      To answer your question: your boyfriend’s response was normal. Trying to catch your partner in lies, asking to see your partners text messages or making them prove their honesty in any way is not normal or healthy relationship behavior.

      You should apologize to your boyfriend.

    • Lawsuited

      Yes, everyone tells white lies. It’s easy to say something untrue when it is also something that doesn’t matter. Making sure you and your partner align on what falls into the “matters” category is important, so that you trust he’s honest about everything that I’d important yo both of you. People tell white lies all the time to grease the wheels of life – save time (because the real explanation is too long or complicated), save face (because the real explanation is too embarrassing), save feelings (because the real explanation is unnecessarily hurtful), to the point where I assume people are not always telling me the truth or full truth and generally trust they have their reasons and will tell me what I ought to know.

  15. Anonymous

    I got not 1, but 2 job offers today! So excited…it’s been a long search!

  16. Anon

    Any recommendations for a female primary care physician in the NYC/Northern NJ area? I have not been able to find one I like. I live right outside of Manhattan and willing to stay in NJ or head into Manhattan. TIA

    • Anonymous

      Jen Meller in the east 80s on Park. She’s amazing – great listener, thorough without being alarmist, and just easy to talk to. IDK if she’s taking new patients – she tends to be pretty busy/delayed as she spends a lot of time with people.

  17. Anonymous

    Are interest rates going to end up at 8% by year end? I am one of the posters who had been looking for a house for what feels like a long time, and everything just seems like it is getting worse. Our inventory is still so low, homes are regularly going for 75-90k over ask, and I am still not seeing anything that doesn’t need major work in the kitchen an baths. I feel nearly in panic mode, which I know isn’t the right place to be for a major purchase like this. I also feel like people are very tired f hearing me talk about this, but I seem to be a bit fixated. It just seems like this once in a lifetime opportunity of ultra low rates passed me by, and I honestly don’t know how the Fed is going to be able to address inflation, so I fear a never ending increase in rates. My current living situation is not good and now my confidence in myself is somewhat impacted, as is just feels like I made a drastic mistake in not buying last spring.

    • Dr. The Original ...

      No way for any of us to know, but I think the bigger concerns are both that you are in a tough living situation and that what happens around you is causing you to question your confidence and see decisions as a mistake as if you should have known. Not sure if you can make your current situation better but I worry that you doing your best is something you are still beating yourself up about, which is unfair to do to yourself.

    • Anonymous

      Can you downsize stuff / things and rent a nicer but smaller place (to stay in budget?)

      Can you stomach a farther commute (if needed) to have some space?

      Is it possible to long-term minimize one or more of the bad factors of the current situation? Would it take money, time, a breakup, someone else moving?

    • Anon

      I don’t know the answer to this, but I’m right there with you on the frustration. The house down the block from me (pretty much identical to our current rental) sold for just under $700k right before the start of the pandemic and just sold for $1.2 million. I don’t even have the slightest idea of how we’re suddenly supposed to pay an extra half million dollars compared to if we’d been able to buy just a few years ago. This is already at the very low end of housing in our town, so it’s basically a choice between paying up or leaving the city/state, as there’s nothing cheaper anywhere close.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, right there with you. Rates were at 2.75 at the start of the pandemic, and are now around 5.5. They definitely are moving higher, and from what I understand, that move is going to come quicker than we expected. So for someone who started looking a 1.5 years ago, and is still struggling to find a place, they may very well have missed an opportunity to borrow money at very low rates, and may end up borrowing at 8% instead. Home prices are still going up, and the fear that the Fed is creating around how quickly rates will go up will likely (along with the low supply) continue to fuel the housing market. Basically, if you didn’t get a place during the pandemic, it is going to get tougher and significantly more expensive. This in turn will prompt more people to stay in their current homes, which will further decrease supply, and cause the drastic price increases we are seeing. I do think some people missed out on an opportunity, although I don’t think it makes much sense to worry about that. You can’t go back in time and change those decisions, so best to just try to be happy where you are.l

    • Peloton

      There will not be a “never ending increase in rates.” Rates will rise. Rates will fall. You have not permanently missed out on anything.

      Take a step back. It’s OK not to buy right now. It sounds like you do need to address your current living situation in some way, so focus on that as a first step, and buy when it feels right to you.

    • Anon

      My parents bought their home with a crazy high interest rate in the 80s because it was the right time for them. They refinanced not long later and brought it down significantly. If you end up paying a lot of interest, it won’t be forever.

      • Anon

        Right. Like I was able to refinance my 16% mortgage to 12.5% in the 80s. Such a deal!

  18. nutella

    To whomever was looking for a decorator or someone to help with paint colors, lighting fixtures, and updating your kitchen, many designers do “Designer for a day” or limited-term design services. It’s true that a color consultant can help you with paint colors, but if you want to make other updates, you may have better luck with someone who is looking at a fuller picture.

  19. Anon

    What would you read into the fact that the title of a company’s one and only lawyer is Deputy General Counsel?

    • Anon

      My first thought would probably be that the GC left and hasn’t been replaced yet, but maybe I’m being too charitable to the company. If you’re in the interview process, I would certainly ask for clarification.

    • Cat

      There is no GC for whatever reason. Perhaps they use outside counsel as the GC either in the interim or as a quasi-permanent (bc I don’t think this works well) solution.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe – They’re leaving room to promote that lawyer down the road. Friends of mine have been hired as GC in their early 30s but leave. Friends who were hired as Counsel then Deputy then GC then CLO are still there.

      But I agree – ask.

    • Anon

      I was once hired as associate director and there was no director. I reported to an assistant Vice President. It was weird, but it was definitely a cost savings/promotion strategy. I was promoted to director less than 18 months later.

    • Anon

      Do they have a parent company? How is Legal viewed in the company? Are there typical Legal duties that are farmed out to accounting or the C-suite?

  20. Anon

    Last minute book recommendation request: leaving on Monday for our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos. What should I read?? Bonus points if it’s tropical themed or feels island-y.

    • Anon

      Congrats! I read The Unhoneymooners (set in Hawaii) on a trip to Hawaii last summer and thought it was fun, even though romance isn’t my normal genre. It’s not set on an island but I also recently read One to Watch about a plus size influencer who becomes The Bachelorette and thought it was cute and would be a good beach read.
      And unsolicited TCI rec – if you like to snorkel, don’t miss the Bight Reef in front of Windsong Resort/Coral Gardens. There are often turtles hanging out there.

  21. Anon

    Long shot but did any of the lawyers here go through EIP and choosing where to live/practice with a significant other? My partner and I are both law students and are trying to decide which market(s) we want to target for EIP. NYC is obviously on the table, and probably our best bet of being in the same city, but not where we want to be long term

    • Peloton

      We did, and we targeted every market either of us would have been OK with. We then broke up a couple years later. I don’t think either of us would’ve chosen the market we both are still in absent the relationship, but I think we’re both happy we’re here. In other words — if the relationship doesn’t work out, the city might, and if the city doesn’t, you can move (possibly while staying at the same firm). So, I would not stress over this too much.

      • Anon

        This is so comforting the hear. Thank you. Right now it all feels a little bit like life or death

  22. Rothy’s sizing help?

    Comments on sizing for Rothys? I’m looking at the loafer. I have moderately narrow feet, but not a true narrow. Size 7.5 typically.

    • Anonymous

      I am a narrow 7.5 and have the Rothys point and loafer in size 8. I would probably do better with an 8.5 in the point.

  23. Anon

    Anyone have experience with Sarah Flint shoes, particularly the Rosie loafer? They cost about three times what I normally pay for shoes. I’ve been checking secondhand sites but have yet to find my size in a color I like so my option is pay full price or pass.

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