Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
For my $.02, this looks like the perfect summer dress. I like the long length, the wide neckline (so many crew neck dresses this year!), and I’m hoping the “open back” is wearable with a bra. (There’s a could’ve-been-great sheath dress from Halogen that we won’t be featuring this year because it shows a lot of skin on your back). It doesn’t have the knotty twists (not a fan) and it’s not too fitted or too swingy. The fabric is a poly/rayon/spandex blend, which I have high hopes for. Chef’s kiss. (I even like it as styled with the black retro sneakers!)
The pictured dress is $129 in the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.
Readers, which are your favorite summer dresses that can be casual or dressy depending on accessories?
(Also: as I just mentioned on CorporetteMoms, everyone’s favorite socks (Bombas) have a lot of great deals in the NAS.)
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Workwear sales of note for 3.22.23:
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off full-price pants and shirts; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – Extra 40% off clearance for up to 60% off
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price dresses, skirts, accessories & shoes
Would you wear clothing with silver in it to work? Business casual environment, but a stuffy group. I just got a black chanel-style blazer and it has silver threads in it in a windowpane pattern. I like it, but husband says I look like a Christmas ornament so now I’m wondering if he’s right.
absolutely, but then I would focus on dressing down with any accessories.
I would absolutely wear that and I tend to like something more if my husband doesn’t because that means it is truly fabulous.
That sounds nice! If you like it I’d keep. I find with men they tend to not like clothing they don’t understand, which is most things.
I cackled out loud at this
Absolutely! Your husband is so wrong.
I think you’re fine! if you think your coworkers are more likely to think like your husband and that’s not the result you want, though, it sounds great for after-work events.
A Chanel style jacket is a classic so I would not worry about this for one more moment.
I agree with a prior poster that you don’t bling out the rest of the outfit or you could end up very Real Housewives, but a classic Chanel blazer worn with sedate separates is an absolutely fine outfit for the office.
Definitely not until winter weather. If there’s at all evening wear vibe (or it looks like mistaking evening wear for formal business wear), then I’d skip.
I wouldn’t wear it in the summer, but I’d wear it fall/winter!
Absolutely, I’d also probably dress it down with jeans
My husband also has fashion-foot-in-mouth, he has said similarly ridiculous things about great outfits. I work in a stuffy place and wear a St.John knit dress with gold-colored threads in it all winter long. Wear it! Just not with silver sneakers or a lot of jewelry if you’re concerned, maybe w/ black jeans, small earrings, and a plain black t-shirt.
I am so relieved that my incompetent manager is finally rolling off our project today. That is all.
Hoping it goes more smoothly from here on in.
I think they rolled onto mine? I just spent 4 hours learning how to plan a week’s worth of work for my team for what I usually do under an hour my way. Im in final rounds of interviews with two companies. I pray one lifts me out of this fresh hell quickly.
Frivolous question. I recently received a small inheritance and I want to do something fun with it. I’ve never owned a designer bag, and I think I would like one. I want something I can use for dinners with friends at nice restaurants. The Chanel flap bag is popular in my circles, but I don’t want Chanel. I want something small and probably black. Willing to go up to 5k, but more comfortable at 2k. This is likely to be my only designer bag (at least this decade).
Oooh fun!! I love the look of the YSL camera bag. The toy loulou puffer quilted bag is pretty too. Those are both close to 2k. I am also obsessed with the Bottega Veneta padded cassette bag, though that is a bit closer to 5k. The Loewe Puzzle bag is also fun and somewhat understated.
+1 for the YSL camera bag…it’s amazing! I love the black on black, personally.
Saint Laurent wallet on chain $1590
What about the LV Pochette Coussin in black?
I like the look of the Lindsay shoulder bag by Balenciaga. I think it comes in Small, Medium or Large, so there is some size flexibility as well. I don’t own one though.
Fun question! Hope you find one you love.
I would probably end up with Mulberry, but really like Saint Laurent and Bottega Veneta as well. And the Chloe saddlebags.
(Highly hypothetical, I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than max 230 on a bag.)
I really like my Tod’s small Holly bag. It’s very understated, and below your budget, and has buttery soft leather. You can use it top-handle or use a detachable cross body strap. Or the Dior saddle bag in a bigish size, except the small size doesn’t fit much, some people say phones too. Or the YSL Cassandra is a good option too.
Think about resale value if you decide to sell it down the road. Google the bag and see what resale sites are saying. And maybe this is a given, but I would make sure the bag is leather or suede for that price, not canvas.
Or the Celine box bag! It’s very IYKYK
Oooooh that looks gorgeous.
Celine all the way. Especially the box bag. But any Celine for understated timeless classic. Drool.
Loewe puzzle bag!!
What a fun question. I am not really a designer bag person (hard core Cuyana tote fan here) but I’m googling everyone else’s suggestions and fantasy shopping.
The nicest bag I have is a Longchamps – not one of the leather trimmed nylon totes that everyone thinks of when they think Longchamps, but an all-leather bag. It’s so nice, and extra-special because I bought it in Paris. I don’t think it’s in the price range you’re looking at but it’s a keeper for me! It’s part of the Penelope line, if you’re interested.
I’m normally a Cuyana/Madewell girl through and through. This is definitely a big deal splurge for me, and I’m still not totally sure I’ll be able to pull the trigger. I’ll check out the Penelope!
Bottega Veneta knot clutch
The small Polene bags are beautiful. They are very popular now, but I don’t think they are trendy – will look nice for years to come.
You’ve gotten some great recommendations so far! Based on your post, I am assuming that you want to keep this bag for sentimental reasons (rather than focusing a lot on resale value) and that you want to be able to continue to wear this bag for a long time (so something timeless or more classic rather than buying the current “it” bag). My recommendations would be to look at the following options:
Alexander McQueen jeweled satchel – an edgier version of the Chanel boy bag
Alexander McQueen the curve
Louboutin cabata tote
Vuitton’s Epi leather line (e.g., Alma)
Prada Galleria or similar in saffiano leather
Let us know what you go with!
Yep! You nailed it. I don’t plan on reselling, and would love to use it for a long time (possibly pass on to my daughter).
Can anyone recommend some cute but protective long-sleeved cover-ups (preferably with pockets and thumbholes)? I’ve finally reached the stage of motherhood where I can primarily supervise from the sidelines… thank you!
Are you looking for a rash guard (thumb holes) or a caftan/dress (pockets)?
yes I think more like long rash guard. but not hip-length like lands’ end, and not midi-length like the one i got from amazon.
check out swimzip “half zip swim dress cover up”. I don’t own that piece but our family has several other things from that company that have worked great, and that looks like it might fit your criteria
Are you looking for something like a rashguard or something that you can chase kids in? Or something a little more flowy and cotton/linen?
if you’re really looking for sun protection, I’d go with one of the SPF brands. It’s hard to find things that cover you as much as those intentionally manufactured to be sun protective.
And yes, I drive in fingerless SPF gloves with thumbholes. I am that lady. So I feel you on this.
(expensive but it looks like you can get 15% off for signing up for emails)
I have other items from this brand that have been great
I have a couple of Uniqlo UV zip hoodies that I wear at the pool/beach all the time, and they’re AWESOME. And cheap. Pockets and thumb holes. They’ve been sold out of good (for me) colors for a little while, but I haven’t checked recently, so ?? But I get a TON of use out of mine.
I just bought a zip up hoodie coverup with zipper pockets and thumb holes from coolibar. It’s Upf 50+
It’s a lightweight and breathable fabric. It’s soft. I can leave it unzipped when it’s hot and I just need the Sun coverage. I like it
I really struggle with having undone work. Eg if it’s Friday and I haven’t finished all the work, I am tempted to work on the weekend even if the deadline isn’t urgent. It’s great bc I am always on top of things, but it creates unnecessary weekend/evening work. It’s like I cant relax until all the work is done. Help?
+1. I used to have this problem. I very much do not have it anymore and haven’t been worked a night or weekend in a long time. I have what looks like a “big” job in paper too.
Sounds like you’re setting unrealistic deadlines/overscheduling yourself. If some work truly doesn’t need to be done this week, just don’t put it on your weekly to do list.
If you go in and look at your paycheck, it most likely says somewhere that they are only paying you for 40 hours per week. Yes most Big Jobs technically require more than that, but I always find that a helpful reminder to level-set.
Not exactly true. In the US, the big jobs are FLSA exempt employees and are paid on a salary basis, not an hourly basis. This means that hours worked over 40 are not in excess of the hours for which the employer is paying you.
Yes we know
technically yes…. but if you look at things like PTO, it’s often on an hourly basis – like if you have 4 weeks’ vacation it may be expressed as 160 hours of PTO; if you take a day, that’s 8 hours withdrawn.
This is me. When I fail to take breaks, I procrastinate because I need a break, and the whole time I’m procrastinating I’m worried about things left undone/all the work I have to do, leaving me more stressed and exhausted than I began. And it means means 100% of my time is spent stressed about work. This cycle ends when you actually take a break!
I ordered Vejas (Campo style) after the thread on street sneakers a few weeks ago. Reporting back because I really like them! Those of you shopping for Europe trips, these are clearly popular for a reason.
-I usually wear a 7.5. Vejas are not offered in half sizes. In this style, I rounded down to a 7. 8 was way too big.
-They feel firm but supportive. There is room for a heel insert if you want more padding or arch support.
-They are friendly for wider feet. My normal pain point with sneakers is rubbing on my little toe, and no issues with the fit.
-I have a slightly narrow heel and the heel is a bit roomy, but they don’t slip around.
-The color is a nice muted white so it doesn’t feel like they’ll show every speck of dust immediately.
I’ve never worn non-athletic sneakers that are light in color, so my eye is getting used to the proportions, but I think they are keepers :)
Thank you! My sneakers have a hole in them and I was looking at Vejas, too. Though I don’t know if I could do leather for summer here, and I would trash white quickly, so I may just not be that kind of girl
What are you go to healthy snacks if your goal is to eat fewer empty carbs? I’m trying to gain some good weight and am finding that part of that is eating good meals and snacks and not just taking in empty calories. Thing is while I’m good eating vegetables and lentils for meals, I find that I can’t eat those for meals and then also have snacks like vegetables, hummus, roasted chickpeas etc. as it’s just too much fiber.
My go to snacks right now are basically string cheese and too much chocolate. I’m sure there are better options out there though for things that are higher calorie but also have some nutritional value beyond fiber.
If you are trying to gain weight but eat pretty healthy:
peanut butter and apple/carrot/celery/bagel
non-sugar cereal with milk of your choice (2% or up)
greek yogurt with fruit (2% or whole for more fat/cal)
chips/guac and salsa
cheese toasies (baguette with tomato and cheese)
Nuts! Also nut butters. Greek yogurt (I add freeze-dried fruit and honey to mine).
Up your fat intake. Nuts and avocados are the first things I’m thinking of.
The Lone Ranger
Hard boiled eggs. Avocados. Olives. Nuts. Nut butter (almond mostly). Sunflower butter. Those foil packages of tuna and salmon.
Almonds. If you really love chocolate, you can do something like mostly almonds, 20% chocolate (I like to throw in some Guittard chocolate chips). It’s good fat, it’s a bit of protein, and it’s filling.
I’d look for things with more fat- peanut butter, olive oil, pesto, avocado. I usually put those things on whole wheat toast, but you could put them on fruit or veggies or tortilla chips. If you bake, you can also make muffins or cookies with whole grains, nuts, seeds, and fruit, plus sugar and chocolate in reasonable amounts. I like the superhero muffins and other recipes in Shalane Flanagan’s cookbooks.
Whole milk and full fat dairy. Milk is nicely balanced between carbs/fat/protein. Add homemade granola to your yogurt (oats, nuts, dates). Add extra pats of butter and glugs of olive oil to whatever you’re cooking.
Dried fruit is my go-to, she types, as she unwraps another roll of Smarties.
Smarties helped me pass the bar exam. I swear.
Avocado on thin cracker like FinnCrisp w chili flakes, cottage cheese w Everything but the Bagel seasoning, fresh blueberries and nuts, pretzels and cheese, chocolate protein mousse (also my go-to dessert), hard boiled egg/deviled eggs
10 % fat Greek yogurt with olive oil drizzle or blueberries
sunflower and pumpkin seeds
avocado with splash of lemon, salt and pepper
seed flatbreads (keto style crackers) with tinned mackerel, mozzarella cheese or tuna
almond crackers made from almond flour, egg whites and salt
I don’t really like chocolate mousse, but you could make avocado or tofu cacao chocolate puddings.
Avocados! I literally cut them in half, scoop out the seed and sprinkle either sea salt or everything bagel seasoning on them and eat with a spoon.
Also – maybe you can branch out from string cheese but keep to the cheese? altos of good cheese options!
Nuts are also great. I’m partial to pistachios.
Balanced Breaks – the nuts and cheese and cranberries ones.
Nuts + a super fresh peach
Apple + peanut butter
Carrots + hummus
Popcorn + milk
^ all of these came into my life during my gestational diabetes diet, so they are good balances of carbs/protein/fat that shouldn’t spike a big glucose reaction. They can be as high-cal as you want.
I don’t know who I’m more irritated with today: my new landlord who is insisting I hand deliver a cashiers check to the office, which is only open M-F 9-5, or my bosses who every day this week have needed me to work on an “urgent” task straight through lunch (which is when I am trying to deliver the check)
Ugh, I’m sorry. My college aged daughter was recently required to pay her monthly rent with a cashier’s check because the apartment building had changed hands and had disabled the online payment system. It was SUCH a hassle, and expensive!
The lease signing and paying 1/2 of the deposit were online in the portal (so normal online payment). The other 1/2 is cashiers check. Every other apartment I’ve had (5 of them…) has accepted either paper checks (which I have and use!) or electronic payment.
My main bank is online only, so I had to get my cashiers check mailed to me. They wanted payment within 48 hours after I received the lease (I got it last Saturday afternoon so 48 hours would have been Sunday + Monday). I was out of town for the holiday, my secondary bank (in person branches) is closed on Sundays and obviously on the 4th, and being out o town for the holiday I didn’t have almost 3k in cash accessible to get a cashiers check from another bank…
In the year 2022 I’m banging my head against the wall that this is how they’re doing business!
Walmart. Get a cashier’s check at Walmart.
Are you in NYC? If so just explain to your bosses why you have to go. Everyone in NYC knows how totally bananas rentals are right now — if they don’t understand and let you go that would be nuts.
No not in NYC. I’m the sole 20 something city dweller on a team of 30s and 40s married with kids, suburbanite home owners. Normally they’d be fine with me popping out but I’m putting out several time sensitive fires today
I realized the hard way that I usually go camping with mainly women when I wound up in a larger groups that included a LOT of snorers. My DH snores, so I can nudge him to flip over and that solves the problem. Not so when camping with strangers in their tents! I need some earplug recs so that I can sleep on an upcoming trip and be tuned out from the symphony of nearby snorers, each of whom has a different tone and cadence. [Usually I’d never tune out the world when camping, but in a field of snoring men, it feels safe enough against outside bad guys.] What are the *really* good earplugs?
The best ones are the Macks silicone ear plugs. They are the BEST. I break them in half and put half in each ear. You can push them in pretty far and they really do drown out all noise, including my noisy snorer husband. They are easy to get use to and don’t fall out like those stupid cushion ones.
I second this. They do tend to stick to my hair (I have long hair) but not enough to annoy me to the point of not using them.
Pro tip for these – if you’ve been particularly sweaty or grimy during the day, which you might be while camping, wipe your ear out with a qtip so the silicone can get a good grip and not slip out overnight.
I have these but haven’t gotten them to work? They seem like they are covering my ear canal and are sealed, but don’t seem to block noise out.
Haha I’m a woman who snores like a lumberjack. We are not all delicate little flowers.
For disposable foam earplugs, I really like the Honeywell LaserLite earplugs.
I re-use them a few times before discarding.
I have no knowledge of Japanese politics. With today’s assassination of Shinzo Abe, I’m interested in learning more. I gather it’s a lone gunman, but that he thought the former PM supported some group he disliked? Was Abe popular or really disliked? How did the gunman get past security? Gun violence is unusual in Japan, how are people reacting there?
I’m not Japanese, but from another East Asian with similar gun control laws. It’s an absolute shocker, although I’m understanding it was a homemade gun? So I’ve seen some say maybe people thought it was a car backfiring or some other mechanical issue in the background than outright assassination.
Abe was quite polarizing in that part of the world, because of Imperial Japan’s treatment of China and South Korea (see comfort women for a start) during WW2 era and Abe was a nationalist. That being said, other countries werent as hostile to Abe and he was definitely really influential in politics on that side of the world. He also boosted the Japanese economy by implementing “abenomics” but I don’t recall the details.
Sorry for my rambling, I’m still processing that someone outright assassinated a former PM with a homemade gun.
Are you unable to access mainstream news sources (NYT and WaPo both have extensive coverage answering those exact questions), or are you a journalist quizzing us to check our level of engagement on this story? I don’t think this site has an extensive commentariat in Japan, given the time difference, so I’m not sure this is the place to come for personal perspectives from folks “on the street”. Now if it were Boris Johnson I would understand why you were asking.
dude are you serious? Why do you assume Boris is understandable but another state leader isn’t? Eurocentric much
There are (or at least to be?) a few VERY prolific London-based commenters. I’m not aware of any regular Japan-based commenters, and I’ve been around here off and on for over a decade.
See this is why I’m asking here, because I’ve read a ton of coverage about Boris Johnson, and yet I haven’t seen nearly as much about Abe, even in places like NYT. I understand it’s an ongoing investigation, but I was hoping there would be a few people with some insight into the general political situation there. Plus there’s just not the same level of coverage of new from Japan generally, and I am realizing how little I know about the country.
Abe was popular with most, because he had a clear vision for Japan, stayed in the job longer than most revolving-door PMs, and got (some) stuff done.
He was unpopular with left-leaning academics and politically engaged people because of his nationalist-ish views.
Gun violence and political violence is super rare in Japan. Everyone is shocked. People take democracy and the rule of law very seriously here. Settling personal or political scores with violence is unforgivable.
We are going to the polls on Sunday. Abe’s body arrived back in Tokyo today. The mood is somber.
Sounds like the dude was upset about something almost completely unrelated to politics. Sometimes weird stuff just happens.
In-laws etiquette question. Whenever I’m with my MIL she like attaches to me, focuses her entire attention on me, and in general just won’t stop talking to me. I know she means well but it’s extremely intense. On top of it, she spouts a lot of misinformation about important topics, like Covid vaccines for example, and I truly don’t have the energy to engage in a debate. I feel like I have to be “on” the whole time and as an introvert it is beyond exhausting, like I’m still recovering from a 3 hour visit last weekend. My husband says I’m too nice to her and encourage her when I need to just ignore her, give one word answers, start playing with my phone, and physically walk away. I feel any of those behaviors would be incredibly rude and would feel very uncomfortable doing any of the above. Does anyone have tips for how to deal with the situation? I think ultimately I need to limit our visits (they live very close so we see the ILs weekly) both in frequency and duration. The thought of having to see her again this weekend is honestly making me feel down, depressed, and energy depleted.
your husband needs to help here, because I agree it would feel very rude to start overtly ignoring her.
Where is he when she is mom-ologuing? Can you enlist him to check in with you after half an hour so he takes a turn? “Mom, let me walk you around the back yard. I need advice on our flowers.”
Also I know every family is different, but weekly visits with ILs (or even my own family) would not work for me. Maybe you can skip every other time?
Listen to your husband!! He is giving you the tools and you’re rejecting them. Don’t limit visits without trying dealing with his family the way he does.
I’d try saying “you know, I don’t agree with that” or “I’d rather not discuss this topic” to the misinformation. You also can get up and leave – excuse me, I need to use the restroom/respond to an email/get something to drink and then join another conversation group. If it’s a tiny gathering, your husband needs to get involved – “mom, stop badgering Y” or “let’s change the subject”.
If your husband says that that is the way to deal with his mother, that is how you should deal with his mother. He has a 30+ year head start on this over you.
I love books that are written fully or partially in non-traditional narrative forms. Meg Cabot has several fantastic books written entirely in emails/texts in her Boy series. I’ve also recently read The Appeal, written in notes/emails/playbills, and Funny You Should Ask is mainly written normally, but has inserts from blog entries and news articles. Any other good entrants in this field?
It’s older, but E: A Novel is entirely told through emails at a workplace:
A Visit From the Goon Squad has a chapter that somewhat famously is a PowerPoint. Every chapter was also published as a standalone short story I believe. If you haven’t read it before you definitely should, it’s extremely good!
Sally Rooney’s latest, Beautiful World Where Are You? alternates between narrative and emails between friends.
Daisy Jones and The Six is written as an “oral” history, kind of like a Behind the Music type of documentary.
Magpie Murders has a whole NOVEL within the novel, complete with a title page, copyright and everything. I loveeed this gimmick and found it totally delightful.
Just thought of another that might be the best of all– Night Film by Marshia Pessl. It’s been a while since I read it but I remember it being a total page turner and there’s all sorts of full web pages, emails, documents, and other non-narrative pieces, which made it super fun.
Are anyone of these appropriate for a young teen? I’d love to introduce my niece, who is a big reader, to a non-traditional format novel.
Maybe not what you’re looking for, but The Woman in the Library is a mystery/thriller that alternates chapters between the story itself and emails from another writer who is reading and critiquing each chapter as he receives them from the author of the story within the story.
Also, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? is written entirely in letters and emails.
Okay, one more: Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. From Wikipedia: “The book combines metafiction, historical fiction, contemporary fiction and science fiction, with interconnected nested stories that take the reader from the remote South Pacific in the 19th century to the island of Hawai’i in a distant post-apocalyptic future.”
“Lazy Days” by Erlend Loe is a quirky little book written mostly in dialogue form, with no marker as to who says what.
Encircling by Carl Frode Tiller is a fascinating book where different people write letters to help establish who he is to a man with amnesia.
It might not be as fully different, but The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time might fit your bill? The narrator is a neurodivergent boy and there are puzzles and diagrams.
When I want something different, I often read plays. Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf is as great a read as a stage play.
This is not a new book, but it fits your request: A Woman of Independent Means. It’s an epistolary (told entirely through letters) novel about a woman whose life runs the course of the first 3/4 of the 20th century. She inherits a substantial amount of money as a child and her use of it to influence, control, or otherwise dictate the outcomes of life events is equally fascinating and appalling, depending on your perspective.
My book club recently read it and everyone liked it, which is unusual!
I somehow just read this and actually cried. Very unusual for me!
Also, Several People Are Typing is hilarious and written exclusively in Slack format, like DMs and channels! If you work in tech and/or use Slack at work, it will resonate.
anon a mouse
Ella Minnow Pea is cute and clever.
My kids love the YOLO Juliet (and similar books), which is Romeo & Juliet in emoji texts. Amusing! There is at least one of the Austin books done in this manner.
Bridget Jones’s Diary?
Have you read the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel pie Society? Incredibly charming and written entirely thru letters.
+1 Guernsey. Also, 84 Charring Cross Road is short and sweet, I was able to get the audiobook through the library app.
The Woman In The Library is written as both a manuscript and an editor’s notes on the manuscript. I was HOOKED and could not put it down!
I’m vaguely remembering a dystopian book that is written jumping around a bit between “history professors” writing about the story and then the main action told through different POVs. Is it the The Power by Alderman? Or is it one of the Handsmaid Tale novels?
Not exactly novels, but the Griffin & Sabine trilogy by Nick Bantock.
I love epistolary novels.
Seconding Where’d You Go Bernadette – such a great book.
Also some other books I’ve enjoyed with quirky/non traditional narratives-
The Blind Assassin
Dear Committee Members
The Wife Upstairs
Twenty One Truths About Love
Anne of Windy Poplar
My Sweet Folly
Gone Girl, though I somewhat hated the book.
For a great beach read in this format, try One to Watch! A great mix of regular writing, blogs, emails, text messages.
A Secret History, The book of Ash by Mary Gentle. A historical fantasy dressed up as a historical publication. Including scolarly footnotes, e-mail exchanges with the publisher etc.
Cover Story by Susan Rigetti
You should watch discovery plus .
Ugh. Lately I am taking a nap every WFH day that I have. Is that normal? If I could sleep through the night, I wouldn’t be so tired, but seasonal allergies have wrecked my sleep lately. It’s just a short nap (<1 hour) right after lunch (so like a version of Thanksgiving syndrome, with the culprit being too little sleep vs too much lunch). I can power through if things are urgent and obvs don't nap if I'm in-office. When my parents were my age, they seemed "old" and maybe this is just me, perimenopausal and worn out?
Honestly, I think that’s a benefit of WFH. As long as the work is getting done and you’re generally available, I think you should just listen to your body.
just a little midday siesta. Nothing wrong with it if you have the flexibility to do it. Its not like you’re sleeping more overall if your nighttime sleep is poor. seems like a good option.
No, it’s not normal. This is why some people think WFH is a crock, just FYI, and claims of equal productivity hollow. Your colleagues who came to work aren’t taking a snooze in the middle of the day and you seem to recognize how inappropriate it would be if they did. If you’re too tired to work when you’re being paid to work, then you need to start going to bed earlier.
Omg I didn’t know my mom read here!
Lol or mine!
Everyone is different and has different productivity styles. What’s the difference between a beneficial nap and a lunchtime workout? Or spending time on Corporette (cough, cough, blush)? I want my co workers to be operating at their best and if this means a short nap, good for them. I need coffee and fresh air and those things take time out of my day so I don’t begrudge other humans their essential needs.
+1 to 7:46 pm.
Not normal. I’d have blood checked (low iron, thyroid, diabetes, etc.) What you’re describing is what poor glucose response looks like. Might be worth examining what you’re eating and when to avoid swings.
If you aren’t sleeping well at night, then a short restorative siesta makes sense and probably makes you more productive all afternoon. Count it as your lunch break, think of yourself as European and enjoy it and your afternoon productivity.
I do this too. I don’t think it’s a problem unless it’s interfering with work or night sleep.
Have you had your physical done this year? This is almost certainly just the allergies, but it’s probably worth getting a physical just to rule out other things, too.
For those of you who are traveling again, or if you are familiar with LA, what does one wear for a business trip there? We are back in the office (midwest US) but are golf-attire casual and while I had a decent winter wardrobe that hit the right notes, summer has me struggling to figure out a new norm. Age 40, size 14 and kind of a dumpy shape if I’m honest. Would like to update my look a bit anyway, but the prospect of traveling for work makes me wish we had adult garanimals.
Just got back from LA. I wore J Crew stretchy dress pants, a basic crew neck tee, and a j crew sweater blazer with loafers. Semi formal meeting. I felt like I blended in just fine.
I’m an Angeleno around your age and size – stretchy pants, blazers, nice t-shirt or blouse underneath. Loafers, maybe block heels. Don’t worry! Esp. outside of the entertainment industry, LA people are not as well-dressed or attractive as feared.
Many thanks to the poster from last weekend who posted a link to a YouTube video about how to style a bigger belly. It was a great video with new ideas. Very thoughtful of you!
Can you repost it share what day it was?
Any chance you can repost? I missed that thread but need the video too lol!
That was me! So glad it could be helpful.
This is the video – it’s a UK stylist and she has several great tutorials on how to tweak outfits to fit different silhouettes better, I really like her videos:
Thank you for posting! I will be tucking my shirts in a bit from now on!
Supporting my lifelong love of a longer blazer. Thank you.
Update from last week where I posted about how an R1 institution I work for sent my personal information on hiring paperwork to an unknown A0L email with a random name nowhere near mine and the number s!xtyn!ne in the name. I emailed the head of tech security as some of you recommended. I didn’t hear back from him but the HR dept. then emailed claiming someone in HR accidentally emailed my paperwork to herself and they asked her to delete the email so this should solve the problem. I responded that this made no sense, that the person they named in HR had no results in an internet search so she seemed unreal, that if she is real it’d mean she lied initially when asked about this, and asking why anyone in HR can email employee paperwork to themselves. I asked for answers and I cc’d the president and the dean of the college where I was hired. 2 days, no response. As I do know someone else in the school who does controversial work, I emailed her to give her a heads up too.
So far, my cc and venmo have been [email protected] and I’ve had to change all passwords. Don’t know what else is coming or who has access. Oh, and contact with p0lice was almost more traumatizing as they made it clear that the controversy of my work (unwelcome in my state) means they will not help if someone comes to cause harm due to my work. (For the record, my work supports a community of people that the state politicians are against, it’s pro-people, not harmful.)
Exhausted by this world and by this experience but wanted to update for those who were so kind to offer ideas and to validate my feelings last weekend.
Thanks for updating us, this is so stressful and time-consuming and I’m sorry it’s happening to you.
I don’t have any experience or advice to offer but sending my best wishes and sympathy. No body deserves this for trying to help other people.
Does the University have an ethics or compliance function? There should be an investigation whether there was a breach of University policy for mishandling of personal information or retribution again a professor for their views.
This is a good idea. Call your ethics hotline. Keep making a stink — something is really wrong for this to have happened. Are you a member of a union? If you are, I’d loop them in.
This saddens me so much. You’re basically saying “my employer allowed me to be doxxed and hacked.” It’s horrific. I’m so sorry.
Not even “allowed,” more like enabled.
So I helped answer this last week. I am surprised you’re not getting a response. I was harassed online (not due to my work but due to a personal relationship). It was horrid. My advice is that you should change all your passwords now – get something like LastPass so it is easy to have super secure passwords. If you get a two factor authentication you are surprised by, immediately change your password. Turn in two factor authentication for everything.
Each time you get hacked, notify the company and explain you’re being harassed. They might not care but they might have mechanisms for extra security.
Drop off social media. I left Facebook in 2010 over this because he would use things from Facebook to contact employers and friends pretending to be me and others in our friend group. (Also, being off Facebook is the best thing ever).
I was also told by police that there was nothing they could do. They were nice about it but the answer was basically that online harassment, account hacking, etc. isn’t their problem.
I was fortunate to know who it was so I could keep an eye out physically for this person. Eventually, he stopped, but it was many months of a lot of stress. Getting off of everything helped because he had less ways to attack me.
This is mind-boggling. I am so sorry. I’m glad you’re not backing down or accepting ridiculous explanations. I think the suggestion to contact compliance people and certainly a union, if you have one, is good. Beyond that, I’m thinking you may want to talk to a lawyer. I’m sure you’re saving every single email.
I agree with Monday. If the compliance people and/or university ombudsman/person? can’t help, does the town have any media people who are “fixers”? In Seattle, King5 TV had Jesse Jones who would get people’s money back from airlines or go to bat in other ways. Do you know anyone in local media? And agree talking to a lawyer would help. Good luck. That is the worst.
I don’t know that this tactic works much anymore. The NYT has done some stories about Zelle fraud and some of the banks they reached out to wouldn’t give people their money back, even with the NYT involved.
It may work in a smaller town. Some R1 schools are in smaller media markets.
If her work is as controversial as she says, the last thing she wants is more media attention.
Wedding gift help!
Help please! Just realized that we need a wedding gift asap:
-older couple (60’s), second marriage for them both.
-will not be moving into one house together (it makes sense, I swear) and I’m not convinced she’s taking his last name. So all those monogrammed things are iffy…
-likes: travel, wine, whiskey, but they know way more about all of those than i do.
-health conscious eaters, so food items are probably very very iffy.
-ideally something i can pick up or have delivered (conus) in the next week or so
The bride and groom can definitely afford to do/get anything they want, whereas this is something we needed to budget for (which i did… just forgot to actually get anything lol). This can be more of a symbolic / gesture gift, doesn’t need to be $$. But I need to get it to them asap. Thoughts?
Monogrammed rock glasses https://www.williams-sonoma.com/m/products/monogram-double-old-fashioned-glass/?catalogId=79&cm_ven=PLA&sku=3270155&cm_cat=Google&cm_ite=3270155_14571728133&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzqSWBhDPARIsAK38LY9j8KcWqiYhEJilq4odQHVUexzYIq-FSGh0SMrHYODIQS4EAnq3GmYaAqrAEALw_wcB&cm_pla=Tabletop%20%26%20Bar%20%3e%20Bar%20Glasses
Wedding gift help!
Yes! Something like this will be perfect. Thank you so much!
My post is in mod but you can get two whiskey glasses, one for each of them with their first initial monogrammed. Looks like Williams-Sonoma, Crate & Barrel and Wayfair have good options.
My go-to in that situation is crystal shot glasses or port glasses. You can find them at most antique stores, and a card that says for a night in when you want to be fancy… but, not too fancy.
I would either take them out to dinner or get them a restaurant gift certificate.
Help me pick my bridesmaid dress? I need to select something from Lulu’s navy collection. Needs to be maxi length, no lace, any sleeve type. Wedding is next month in a state where it’ll probably be 95 degrees. I am modest and the idea of wearing a deep V neck makes me want to cringe, but I’m worried about sweating through some of the picks. I am average height, athletic build, size S/M depending on the brand.
I don’t know what Lulu’s navy collection is and the site won’t let me in, but it sounds like indecision and lack of a perfect choice is your issue. If you pull up all the navy dresses that are the right length, rule out the ones that have lace, deep v-necks, or look like they’d make you sweat, do you see any options that look like they’d be fine for your body type? If you do, and there’s 3-4 of them, just order all of them, try them on, and see which one you feel best in. If the wedding is next month, I’d order fairly quickly to give yourself enough time to place a second order if you need to.
The Lone Ranger
Garden Bliss? It subs waist cut outs for the plunging neckline.
Thoughts of Hue? It’s a little less plungy than most of the others, and depending on how it fits, you might be able to tack it to be a little higher.
I was thinking Thoughts of Hue, too. Chiffon doesn’t make me as hot as a single layer of matte polyester, for whatever reason.
For the criteria you gave, I like the Endlessly Enchanted one. Bonus that its only $15.
What’s your favorite online strength training workout videos? Ideally free. Would love a program to follow instead of random picks!
What are your strength-training goals?
Primarily lose weight, increase metabolism by building muscle and tone/shape. Secondarily, enjoy side benefits of strength/resilience.
Caroline Girvan Fuel series
Caroline Girvan has different series on YouTube – some of them are really, really difficult though. As someone whose isn’t quite in shape, I’m definitely sore after one of her videos.
I love Fitness Blender. They have been doing more paid subscription content recently, but their older videos are all free. You can also pay a one time fee to get a training plan of the free videos that can be reused infinitely (a “program”). A lot of their programs are a mix of cardio and strength, but below are a couple that are mostly strength:
I haven’t personally used these programs as I often want more HIIT/cardio in the mix, but have used their FB 30, FB Blend, FB Abs and FB XT ones many times.
Thanks for this rec. Sounds perfect for me!
My overachieving incredible women….I am a reproductive endocrinologist/fertility specialist MD waiting out a noncompete. I see SO MANY woman struggling at home and want to figure out how to help people before they even reach the office. What did/do you ladies need in your journey? Facebook group? Vitamin support? Online course? Practical info? Please help me help! I want to make a difference while I have to work from home
Instagram/ video course + printout version of TCOYF. Think how Taking Cara Babies took sleep training to the masses.
In-house attorney here, and I believe there are a few BigLaw attorneys & in-house counsel in this community.
As a passion project/hobby, I write a very tiny email newsletter on things on career stuffs – namely, the importance of mental health in BigLaw & throughout one’s legal career and thoughts on finding an in-house job. (How tiny? Well, 2 people read it: me & a former biglaw colleague who wants to go in-house, lol.)
In any event, if anyone might be interested in reading it, please email me at dearbiglawassociate at proton dot me