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Updated: Sep 21, 2022 144 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

There are so many pieces I want from Favorite Daughter right now — their structured blazers, this stripey dress, this long-sleeve halter midi dress, and probably fully half of their pants, which look like that perfect blend of stylish, breezy wide trousers. Even their denim looks good!

For today's weekend open thread, though, I'm going to feature this fun oversized top in gingham, which feels like this summer's preppy version of a kimono or jean jacket — a really versatile topper with shorts, dresses, and more. The fact that this one has a matching bralette is even cuter.

The shirt is $188 at Nordstrom in lots of different colors and patterns as well as on the brand's own website; you can also find the brand at stores like Anthropologie and Revolve.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon8

    Would love to hear from people who have made a major career change– what was the change and how did you do it?

    I’m in my early 30s and thinking about making a change from insurance operations to…something that’s not that.

    • Monday

      At 30, I left humanities academics and began training in health care. I am still in health care 10 years later and plan to remain.

      If you’re unhappy or running into dead ends, I encourage you to do it. It may only become more intimidating to make the change as the years go by. I won’t lie–I had a really rough time for a while there. I hated being back in school after I’d been so sure I was done. Being an intern again, being at the very bottom of the career ladder again, all of it. But it was an informed decision and I’m glad I did it. AMA.

    • Anon

      I changed from law to a writing-heavy role in marketing/communications. I make a lot less money, but am much happier and work way less. I did it just by applying. I was able to convince them that my writing experience would translate. I also work in a niche related to my undergrad degree, so I’m sure that helped.

    • Anonymous

      Law to labor relations. I realized I loved the strategic consulting part of my law practice and not the detail oriented part of litigation and filings, nor did I like managing a small business (particularly not on a contingency fee model). I also really struggled with mental and physical health issues due to the lifestyle and wanted to work fewer hours. I did 500 informational interviews with other lawyers as I was realizing I wanted to leave my practice and was exploring other practices and… none of them described a life I could see myself living. Labor relations is really good area for recovering attorneys!

      • Anonymous

        Did you use What colour is your parachute? or Looking for your North star? I’m interested in resources to explore my options regarding my career but also my life in general.

    • Anon

      I went from practicing law in a niche area to financial compliance around your age. Best decision I ever made!!

    • JTM

      At 30 I left behind a career as a laboratory chemist to move to HQ for a retailer – first in data analytics and last year I moved into strategy work. Honestly it happened because I got a bit lucky – a recruiter reached out to a friend of mine, and she wasn’t interested but she gave them my resume instead. I was also recruited by a company that is known for hiring people who have core skills but want to do something different. Having a very clear understanding of my transferrable skills and how I could apply them to something new was the first step in my transition. And knowing what you’d like to do would help as well.

    • Anon

      Went from high school teaching to actuarial consulting in my early 30s. I loved the actual teaching and hated everything else about my job, and also I wanted to make more money. Nearly seven years in and I’m still here. While I miss teaching very much, I learned transferable skills to make me an appealing non-traditional candidate for my original job, and I’m still able to educate clients and work in L&D in my role to train others who are just starting out.

      • Anon

        I’m also a teacher turned actuary! But I only taught high school math for a year (that was enough)

        To OP, have you considered working in other roles within insurance? Not necessarily actuarial, but finance, underwriting, claims, brokerage, etc? The reason I suggest it is that it’s easier to transition to a new type of work when people already know you and know you’re a good hire. Some of the most satisfied professionals I know in our shared industry have bounced around in different roles until they found just the right fit. Even I did it, working as a highly specialized underwriter for 5 years before coming back to the actuarial side.

    • anon

      This will probably out me because it’s so unique, so if you know me…. pretend like you don’t.

      I went from teaching to real estate in my mid/late20s. To get in to real estate I took a job as a secretary in a real estate practice group at a bank, which also included a pay cut (even from a measly teacher’s salary). I was a sponge. I talked to every and any person I could about career paths and entry level roles on business/transactional teams. I kicked a s s at my admin job but used every possible channel to further my learning.

      I’m now almost 40 and 13 years in to commercial real estate finance, pulling in close to $1mm/year as an MD. I happen to have fallen in to a very high paying niche within this industry, but even less high paying roles are earning $200-400k in my world, which still would have been very worth the gamble to take a step back and out of teaching in order to take many, many steps forward. I had no business background, just a knack for math, and used every benefit my company offered related to paying for school. I joke that I have enough credits for two advanced degrees, but have no advanced degrees because I just cherry picked which classes – some in person, some online – at all the local universities in order to efficiently fill baseline knowledge gaps. The beauty of real estate is that it’s not often taught in schools, so while I didn’t have a business degree, it’s much less a “must have” relative to a fairway ibanking-type role. So much learning is on the job, but you have to come with some baseline skill sets.

      I say – you’re young. Give it some critical thought, but then take the risk then work your a s s off. Nothing will be easy but it will be so, so worth it once you’re on the other side. And, I’ll add, I used to be embarrassed to say I was once a secretary. Now, I love my story and I think it’s helped me earn clients, I think, showing I have hustle and drive.

      • Anon

        What are the niches and which are good – better in terms of pay? I am in a related field and am curious about retooling.

        • Super anon

          Not the original commenter, but I work in commercial real estate investment sales and regularly clear over $1M/year. It’s a tough industry to get into and a very specialized niche, but quite lucrative. If/when I ever want to downshift and go back to a salary, I’m regularly offered jobs making $300k.

        • Super anonymous

          I work in commercial real estate investment sales and regularly make $1M+ per year. It’s a very tough environment and quite difficult/lucky to get into. It’s also not for the faint of heart for many reasons (numerous daily emotional ups and downs, selfish and grabby team members, demanding clients, very long hours, sexism, to name a few), but it’s certainly financially rewarding. If/when I decide to refocus my skills, most associated senior level salaried jobs are between $200k and $300k per year. Happy to answer questions

    • Anon

      Not me but my spouse and BIL did the same thing: went back to medical school in their early 30s. My BIL had a degree in Medieval Studies from and Ivy and did pre req courses part time at night while working at a wine bar. Now a practicing physician! My spouse did a formal year long career changer program and now is in first year of medical school. Had a degree in psych from a different Ivy and had worked for about a decade in non-profit comms. Both found/are finding the big change completely worth it!

    • Anonymous

      I entered a JD/MPP program at age 27 to escape IT management. A decade into my new career in applied research, I have been promoted to the point where I no longer get to do the fun stuff and am only allowed to manage projects. The law degree was an expensive bait and switch (tuition went up, scholarship didn’t). I encourage you to closely examine what the new career looks like a few years down the road. If I had realized that as a PI at a nonprofit research institution I would would be considered too senior to actually work on the research projects I direct, I would have gone for a Ph.D. and an academic career instead.

  2. Anon

    What would of have done? Say you had a small party and one of your friends brought her latest boyfriend (which you said ok to but hadn’t met him) and he turned out to be one of those people who not only suck all the air out of the room but was borderline offensive. Not quite enough that it could be called out but just enough to ruin the fun.

    We were all outside on a beautiful day and there were cheese and crackers and wine and someone said “this cheese is delicious” and boyfriend said “I don’t eat dead animals or their byproducts.” (I didn’t know he was vegan but there were vegan options)

    He mentioned that he’d broken his leg fairly recently. One of my other guests said “oh, I broke my leg a couple of years ago. It’s really tough” and he said “oh, poor you” just dripping with sarcasm. (I guess he’s the only one allowed to have a broken leg)

    Everything he said just stopped the conversation cold, and then everyone else basically came up with an excuse to leave. Of course he and my friend were the last oblivious guests to hang around so I had to start obviously cleaning up to get them to leave.

    What would you have done? I was so disappointed in how it all turned out. (And I had a TON of leftover food)

    • Anon

      Not throw pieces of cheese at him (waste of perfectly good cheese), but possibly thrown vegan cheese at him, hoping it would drive him away. At least in my mind.

      Gentle empathy to the other people: “Sheila, I remember your leg from a couple of years ago. I had such a good time going to get that pedicure once you got the cast off.” I don’t like it when others get verbally mugged. I try to verbally love on them a bit.

      And to the friend: I’d love to have you over, but I don’t think that Harry went over well with our group last time and I’m only serving non-vegan cheese.

      • Anon

        Thank you. So many times I’ve gone over in my head what I could have done, like pull Sheila aside and ask her to take Harry and leave. Which would probably have ended our friendship and I’m sure Harry wouldn’t have gone quietly.

        What actually happened was that all of us sat there in stunned silence!!

    • Anon

      I don’t know that there’s something to DO when somebody is just a jerk like that. Other than politely redirecting the conversation, which is definitely your obligation as a host. I think what you do is eat the leftover cheese to deal with feeling bummed out and then never invite him to anything ever again.

        • Anon

          Right? I read it as demonizing the people who thought their broken leg was bad.

          Your pain is your pain.

      • Anonymous

        Veganism is absolutely fine, but commenting like that is definitely not. There are other ways to tell people you don’t want to eat dairy.

      • Anon

        I’ve been a vegetarian for decades and have never felt the need to make rude comments about other people’s food choices.

      • Anonymous

        Give me a break it’s 2022, no one cares that much about what anyone eats and it’s not like vegans are some anomaly like it’s 1995. What people DO care about is if you make rude comments on food others are eating, whether you are vegan or not. Normal people with any dietary restriction just eat whatever is served that suits their diet, or if nothing then graciously drink some water, and make conversation with other humans without mocking them or their injuries.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe I’m just rude but I feel like I would have called him out once or twice. Not on everything and not right away of course, but as it became clear that no one else was having fun. Like – why do you assume you’re the only one to experience x ever or what your x just more important? Sometimes it doesn’t stop the talker but the talker’s partner gets the hint and starts shutting up her bf or SHE is the one who leaves because she feels you’re being rude to her bf, not the other guests.

      • Anon

        With my luck she’s going to end up marrying this guy! One of my other friend’s husbands literally stole money from my kid when he was a preschooler (the money had dropped out of my pocket, my kid had found it on the ground, and husband said “give that to me!” and put it in his pocket) and she’s finally divorcing him this year – my kid is a teenager now. True to form, her soon to be ex tried to steal from her in the divorce, bordering identity theft.

      • Jules

        I agree with this take and with some of the advice from Anon at 2:31 – try to push back politely on the jerk and support the people he seems to be attacking. I have been on-and-off vegan for years, my ex-H and my kid are vegan, and this guy was just a rude a*hole about it. (Honestly, my ex might well have said something like this, but there are reasons why he is my ex.) But telling your friend her boyfriend is not welcome again, when he didn’t do something egregious like punch somebody or get drunk and wreck your furniture, is unwarranted. And passively aggressively having events where there is literally nothing he could eat would be returning rudeness with rudeness.

        But fingers crossed that your friend decides to DTMFA …

        • Explorette

          I disagree. I think OP should tell her friend that her boyfriend is no longer welcome, and explain why. He sounds like a giant tool and there is no reason why OP should ever have to spend time with that person again. Also it sounds like this friend has a pattern of attracting bad men, and as her friend, they need to have this conversation.

          In that situation, I would have let the first few comments slide not knowing him and giving him the benefit of the doubt, but once it became obvious, I’d push back on him. Something like “wow that was an intense comment” hopefully would be sufficient to make him realize he’s being over the top.

          • AIMS

            Thee was a Ms Manners with similar question recently. Her take – it is entirely unnecessary to announce to your friend that her boyfriend is not welcome when she hasn’t said that she is even bringing him.

            OP, your friend’s BF sounds like a real Debbie Downer. If I was in your position, at some point I would have given up and tried to make the best of a bad situation by just playing misery bingo. If nothing else, this will be a memorable story for you and your other friends. I also wouldn’t feel bad about pushing back a bit with humor when someone acts this rudely. So maybe not right away, but if the cheese comment came after I realized the guy was not going to play nicely with anyone, I would have just said something like, “more for us then!” Or you can just address his rudeness more directly. For ex., with the leg comment, you can say, “oh, I’m sorry, Todd, did you not find breaking your leg to be a tough experience?”

            Going forward, I think you can just address this as needed. My guess is they will either break up or your friend will learn to socialize separately from her rude BF. If she insists on bringing him, I wouldn’t feel bad just politely ignoring him.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think I would outright challenge his comments–it’s best not to add to the discomfort of other guests–but I definitely would have done a few “Oh wow. That’s kind of harsh with someone you just met” with a laugh or that sort of thing. You didn’t do anything wrong. If you’re caught potentially having him at future events, I’d be clear with friend that you thought he seemed kind of unkind (give the leg example) and say how uncomfortable this made you (focus on you, not him). How direct you want to be may depend on how likely the relationship is to continue and whether he seemed better or not after others left (some people are socially awkward with groups they don’t know and the anxiety can come out as being weirdly loud or provocative or sarcastic to try to deal with it). If he seemed the same way when it was just you three, I’d be less inclined to give grace.

    • Anonymous

      He’s obviously an asshole, but I think your friend shouldn’t be off the hook either. Bringing somebody with a restrictive diet without telling the host before arrival is quite impolite. It’s good manners to make sure your host can be prepared – not as in demanding special food, but a head’s up as in “I’m so sorry, he can’t eat xyz”.

      In the moment, the conversation destruction people are hard to handle because they’re breaking the social contract, but as host I think there’s not a lot to do apart from being aggressively cheerful in bringing the conversation on and supporting the victims of the rude people. And a few “wow, you did get out of bed on the wrong side, didn’t you”, should be allowed, but pershaps not advised. ;)

    • Seventh Sister

      I think I dated that guy in law school (or someone quite like him). He thought all of my friends were boring/silly/bourgeoisie, and I naively thought that he’d like them better if we all hung out more often. It didn’t work, and I’m immensely grateful that my friends didn’t break off all contact with me over time. It was really nice to have friends when he dumped me.

      A longtime friend had a profoundly irritating spouse, and I just tried to do stuff with my friend on our own. But I am delighted my friend is now divorced and is marrying a lovely woman.

  3. Anonymous

    Not having traveled in 2.5 years plus and just generally feeling restless, I REALLY want to go to Europe ideally this Oct. or November. I’m still on the covid cautious side of things, but I suspect it’s as safe as it’s going to get and by then I expect to have gotten the new booster we expect will be offered in the fall. So any ideas for Western Europe trips in the fall that can still primarily be outdoors?

    Obviously some sightseeing will always be indoors but I wouldn’t want to go to say Paris and limit myself to mostly outdoors as I’d be missing a lot of museums, shopping. All I can think of is Greece and I’m meh about that – not sure why, I know it’s beautiful and I’d likely have a great time, but IDK it seems complicated to constantly be moving island to island. This is a solo trip, I haven’t traveled that much so I want it to be easy. Ideally I’d like to fly somewhere direct from DC and just stay there in that city and if I really felt comfortable, take advantage of the European rail system to take a one day side trip to a smaller city near by. In terms of what I’d like to do – fairly easy – walk around a city, explore architecture – going inside for some tours as long as they aren’t packed, rinse and repeat. I’d love a place where outdoor dining is still an option but I suspect Oct-Nov is too cold for that in Europe, so then I’d be fine going into restaurants to pick up take out and eating in a park or in my room or something. Ideas?

    • Anon

      October isn’t that cold in most of southern Europe. Also outdoor dining is very widespread in Europe, so even if the weather isn’t ideal for it, you can probably still find it. We ate outdoors in Florence in March of this year (temps in the high 50s/low 60s) with no issues. In our Midwest home state, zero restaurants have outdoor dining at that time of year.

      Italy is always and forever my #1 European country to visit. I’m not a big city person, but I absolutely love Rome and you could do a side trip on public transit to Florence and probably some other interesting places.

    • Anon

      Rome! I was there in late November 2017 and there was plenty of outdoor dining and not too cold even in the evening. And while the museums are amazing there is plenty to do outside (just walking around the city, Ostia Antica, the Forum and Coliseum, Appian Way and the aqueducts). And if you are comfortable on a train you can take a day trip to Florence.

      Just stay away from the Vatican if you want to avoid indoor crowds!

    • Anon8

      Sounds like Italy or Spain to me. I’m going to Mallorca in September and it’s more resort-y than what you mentioned but seems like there’s mostly outdoor things to do.

      The good news for dining is that in my experience Europeans eat outside in much colder weather than Americans do. I was in Copenhagen, Amsterdam and Malmo, Sweden in late October and people ate outside everywhere. Come to think of it plenty of people were eating outside in Chamonix in February too (literally in the snow). In Sweden many restaurants had branded blankets and propane heaters, it was super cozy.

      • Anon

        We were in Mallorca last month and LOVED it. It was less resort-y than I thought it would be. There are tons of cute towns and beautiful beaches to explore, and some really interesting history in Palma. You can do the lounge-at-the-resort thing if you want to, but there’s a lot to do besides that. And yes, everything is outdoors. The only indoor thing we wanted to do was going into the cathedral in Palma (ended up not doing it because we were there on the wrong day).
        And +1 to Europeans having higher tolerance for eating in cold weather than Americans do.

          • Anonymous

            Probably you have done your research, but from my two recent trips there I would recommend:
            Villages: Valldemosa, Deià, Fornalutx (has won the most beautifull Spanish village award several years), Pollensa, Andratx, Capdepera, Petra and Colonia St Jordi (where the locals go).
            Beaches: Est Trenc, Es Carbó, Sa Calobra and Mesquida.
            From Palma take the old wodden train to Soller and eat a tangerine ice cream.
            Eat : Tumbet, Trampó, cocas with everything, arròs brut, pa amb oli, sobrasada with roasted honey and as many ensaimadas as you can.
            And if you are into shopping some of the best shoe makers are there in Inca (Carmina, George’s, Camper) and plenty of espadriles and abarcas.

        • Anon

          November is probably pushing it, but I think September or October would be lovely. Way less crowded but still beautiful for sight-seeing. It depends how much you prioritize swimming, I guess, but we only got in the water once and would have gladly traded swimming weather for fewer crowds. (Alas, I have a professor husband so we can’t travel in the beautiful fall months…)

          • NYCer

            Oh September in Mallorca is lovely. I have been twice, both times in September actually.

            It would definitely be warmer than most of Northern Europe in November, but for me personally, if I go to a beach destination, I want the option of swimming at least!

        • Anonymous

          Me neither, from late Sept the weather is quite stormy and in Nov basically cold.
          With all the heat waves we are having this summer the temp of the Med is quite about the normal one, the forecast predicts DANAS for sure. I was there last Sept and the DANA spoiled half of the week.

    • shananana

      am personally planning a trip to Portugal in that time frame as was looking for fall walking around weather :)

    • Away Game

      Rome – lots of ruins and things that are outside (or huge and airy). Weather in Oct might be nice enough still for outdoor dining, and there are plenty of parks. Plenty of interesting architecture in the winding streets around town.

    • Anonymous

      Spain, you are describing a trip to Andalusia from Madrid. Not sure how many days you are planning but fly to Madrid for 2 days and from there you could go into day trips in one hour or less to Segovia, Toledo, Avila, Aranjuez, El escorial or in 2 or 3 to Granada, Sevilla, Cordoba, Malaga.
      Plenty of strolling around and in Andalusia lovely weather for eating in terraces the whole time.
      For scheduling only consider that 12th oc is national day and 1st&2nd Nov is bank holiday.

    • CMS

      We did Switzerland this summer and loved it. Lots of outdoor dining and the big attraction is hiking and sightseeing in gorgeous scenery.

  4. Anonymous

    Totally random question but have exhausted my family and friends directly – we are having a bizarre issue where one of our light switches doesn’t work every morning but does work later in the day (kids’ bedroom). Other electrical things do work so I’m pretty sure it’s the switch not the circuit. Before we replace the switch or call an electrician – any ideas????

    • Anon

      I would just replace the switch to test it because a single pole switch is one of the simplest electrical repairs.

    • Anon

      Is the switch somehow wired in with other switches? Consider that is on later in the day but not in the morning and vice versa.

    • Anon

      Is it one part of two-way switch, where someone leaves the other switch in a half-flipped position at the end of the day and it gets toggled properly some time during the day?

      DH does that with our staircase light all the time.

    • Anon

      Has it worked in the past? If so, and it is a single-pole switch (meaning the fixture is controlled solely by that switch), a new switch will only cost you a couple of dollars at Home Depot. Turn the power off to the switch, pull the old one out, take a picture of the wiring of the existing switch and wire the new one in exactly the same pattern. More or less. Watch a Youtube video if you want. If it is not the switch, it could be the fixture. Have you replaced the bulb? Is it a weird bulb or a normal incandescent or LED bulb? My guess is that it is coincidence that it does not work in the mornings but does in the afternoons. In any event, replacing the switch is easy and would be the first thing I would try.

    • Anonymous

      Could be a circuit that’s not closed properly, making the switch work at random. Would call an electrician.

      • Anonymous

        If anyone has caught Lifetime’s new 3 part series on phrogging, this comment will freak you out more than you know. Episode 1 had three college girls who were convinced their condo was haunted, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream for them knowing what was really going on. I seriously couldn’t sleep after watching that.

    • Anonymous

      We had a switch that worked intermittently. The electrician found that the wires in the switch were rusted, possibly from condensation caused by the temperature differential between the inside and the outside of the wall (exterior wall, summer, A/C, lots of humidity). Replacing the switch was quick and inexpensive as far as electrical work goes.

  5. Anonymous

    Has anyone switched from counting macros to doing keto and liked it? I’m focusing on protein and fiber right now but wonder if I ought to be adding in a lot of healthy fats around it.

    • Anonymous

      Keto is bro science, it’s not healthy unless you have epilepsy or another medical condition that necessitates it.

    • Anon

      Keto is hard on your body and not sustainable. My husband lost weight on keto but then gained it back, and then some. That’s how most extreme diets ultimately work out.

      • Anon

        https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32238384/

        “No diets significantly improved levels of HDL cholesterol or C reactive protein at six months. Overall, weight loss diminished at 12 months among all macronutrient patterns and popular named diets, while the benefits for cardiovascular risk factors of all interventions, except the Mediterranean diet, essentially disappeared.

        Conclusions: Moderate certainty evidence shows that most macronutrient diets, over six months, result in modest weight loss and substantial improvements in cardiovascular risk factors, particularly blood pressure. At 12 months the effects on weight reduction and improvements in cardiovascular risk factors largely disappear.”

    • anon

      Please don’t do this. I know several women who lost weight on keto but their cholesterol went through the roof. That doesn’t sound like a good trade off.

    • Anon

      I don’t understand how people are still jumping on the keto bandwagon. It sounds horrible.

      • Anon

        I realize that by keto people mean low carb, but still. I eat this way because of a medical condition. I would not eat this way if I didn’t have to.

      • Anonymous

        OP here – Keto is making another circuit disguised as “how to lose weight if you’re a woman in perimenopause!” there are at least 2 different programs that come to mind – Galveston Diet, Thinlicious — and a few others where I can’t remember the name. I thought it was bunk but interesting bunk.

  6. Jules

    Follow-up to last week’s story about the ugliest bridesmaid dress ever (below-knee forest green dirndl skirt that made my friend’s willowy 30-y-o niece look like a roly-poly, peach satin insert across the top of the abdomen ending mid-b**b (with the two colors not aligning at the back zipper) and a blue print, maybe calico, on the cuffs of the short sleeves and on the collar, which ends in a perky little tie off to the side, like a kerchief):

    Once the out-of-town bridesmaids got their dresses, they all hated them. The MOH, the bride’s lifelong best friend who is the dress designer who had made the bride’s own beautiful dress, was extremely blunt that the dresses just could not happen. The two of them found online a forest green dress that has the sort of rockabilly vibe the bride apparently had been going for; the dress is perhaps not what most of us would choose but is not the horror show that the first one was.

    And to the commenter who thought I was weirdly over-involved in this situation, I had shortened things in the original post and left out a lot of detail that seemed unnecessary, but it wasn’t as weird as it sounded. The aunt of the bridesmaid/ future sister-in-law who started the whole discussion is not simply a random colleague but my law partner and very close friend; I have known her niece and nephew, although not well, for most of their lives. My partner is very close to them (the niece lives with her) and went with the bride for veil shopping the same day the bride and the niece/ bridesmaid later went to try on the terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad dress. The niece was horrified but prepared to suck it up and wear the dress, as many pointed out is a bridesmaid’s job, but even the bride repeatedly said that the dress had not turned out as she envisioned it. The bridesmaid and her aunt did talk about whether there was some graceful way out of it; I mentioned Lulu’s and found some links, and my partner herself forwarded them to her niece. So my only involvement was sharing with the bridesmaid via her aunt a source for possible alternatives.

    • Vicky Austin

      Good heavens, thank you for updating and BIG PHEW for your honorary niece!

      • Jules

        Phew is right! The looks on her face in the pictures in the two different dresses say it all, I wish I could post them!

    • Anon

      I’m weirdly invested in this and probably procrastinating a work assignment, but I’d love to see a pic of the dress.

      • anon

        Yes! I wanted to see the dress when first mentioned and still want to.I did miss the part that you were supposedly overly involved so I suppose I don’t agree with that.

        I guess rockabilly in this instance is just sort of country?

    • Jules

      The replacement dress is somewhat like this one, only not as sleek or specifically vintage looking.

      https://smile.amazon.com/MINTLIMIT-Rockabilly-Hepburn-Pleated-Cocktail/dp/B07S7GWFJ8/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=5mbuf&content-id=amzn1.sym.f199fff6-bb11-46be-9082-1c8e5ac00895&pf_rd_p=f199fff6-bb11-46be-9082-1c8e5ac00895&pf_rd_r=G9BXHRMZHN95997JEYV4&pd_rd_wg=B2r8s&pd_rd_r=3cb6ed88-b5c0-4341-9c49-00c790179bab&ref_=pd_gw_ci_mcx_mi

      The actual replacement dress has short, slight puffed sleeves and the fullness of the skirt starts much higher, it’s still kind of a dirndl. Oh, and there will be a neck bow kerchief kind of thing added. :/

      Trying to figure out if I can post the original on imgur.

      • Anon

        OMG. It’s like… waitress at the German biergarten at ERFOT, a knockoff of Disney’s EPCOT.

      • Anne-on

        WOW. With the images of the new dress I can definitely see the inspiration – the green dress reminds me of the Dolly Couture dresses that were really popular in the 2010s. The custom dress just looks like someone’s home ec knockoff with a twist of modcloth but waaay more ill fitting. Frankly the fit offends me more than anything else about it. So glad they went with something else!

      • Anon

        Omg bless you. I just burst out laughing in my office. This is one for the record books!

      • Anon

        This dress reminds me of the costumes the Lawrence Welk singers used to wear when they wanted to be something like “Bavarian but modern!”

      • helloanon

        I gasped so loud my dog came running. This is an abomination. Well done to you and all the others for diplomatically helping the bride find a better alternative!

      • Coach Laura

        That is so bad it’s almost not funny. I’m so glad I checked this thread today. It looks worse than the dress my sister sewed in 6th grade. The quality of the sewing is awful, bad, no good. The materials look cheap and I still don’t get the idea to combine the three fabrics.

        Good outcome Jules and good that you were able to provide some info. The alternate dress isn’t terrible, as far as bridesmaids dresses go.

      • Anon

        I love you so much for posting this. OMG! That is So. Incredibly. Amazing, and not in a good way.

      • Anon

        EPIC!! That dress is a work of art. Yes, I mean this in the “so bad it’s amazingly bad” way.

    • Jules

      EPIC!! That dress is a work of art. Yes, I mean this in the “so bad it’s amazingly bad” way.

    • Anon

      Haha, I still remember the absolute horror show bridesmaid dress I was forced to wear in the mid-1990s to a friend’s wedding: peach taffeta, with a two-tiered skirt, huge puff sleeves, a “sweetheart” neckline (that ended up off-center because the seamstress wasn’t quite talented enough to pull it off), and of course a huge ivory butt-bow. She also had us wear flat peach-colored hats with peach flowers on them made by her aunt, and ivory wrist-length gloves. It was really amazingly, shockingly bad and I’m so mad I didn’t keep any of the pictures, because over the years I think I would have won some “bad dresses” contests with photo evidence of this travesty. To this day, I have no idea what the bride was thinking. My mom paid $150 to have that stupid dress made and even though she is extremely frugal, she took one look at it and said “we can just donate that when the wedding is over.” I did, and I am sure it went to the Great Bridesmaid Dress Home in the Sky within days of the donation as no one in their right mind would ever wear such a thing voluntarily. A great service was performed by the people intervening in this situation you describe. People getting married really just need to look at BHLDN and Lulu’s and be done with it.

  7. anon

    I think I have…forgotten how to sleep? Every morning for the past week I have woken up with a lot of neck pain and stiffness. I have been stretching, trying to relax my shoulders, and breathing to help with anxiety. I am guessing that I tense up my neck and shoulders while sleeping because of anxiety (simple stuff, but still) and maybe because I am physically not sleeping properly. Any tips on how to fix this? Just turned 40…is it all aches and pains from here?

    • Anonymous

      When this happens to me I get rid of the pillow for a few days and force myself to sleep flat on my back. Or if you can’t do that without a pillow, still force yourself to fall asleep on your back with good posture and if you can try not to move around too much at night. So like every time you wake up, re adjust the posture. I find it only takes a few nights of this when I’ve gotten in a bad habit like rolling over one shoulder or whatever.

    • PolyD

      Is your pillow very flat and worn out? I know it’s time to replace my pillow when I start waking up with a stiff neck.

    • anon a mouse

      I find foam rolling before bed makes a big difference in how stiff or loose I am in the morning.

    • Hypatia

      If it helps, I find laying with a rolled towel under the small of my back and another under my neck with my legs up at 90 degrees releases a lot of tension. I’d try a memory foam pillow, a foam roller and stretching in the morning.

    • Anon

      You may need a new pillow. And no, sleeping is not all aches and pains after 40

    • Anon

      Have you tried changing the orientation of your pillow? Instead of sleeping with the long side of the pillow parallel with my shoulders, I’ve changed it so that the long side is perpendicular to my shoulders. More of the pillow ends up under my upper back and shoulders. That way, there is no “neck hump”. It’s kind of like trying to sleep flat on your back, but it does give a bit more support. I find it helps to let gravity do it’s thing to pull my head back, and try to correct the head forward posture I’ve developed from being glued to a phone/computer.

  8. Big Foot

    With the caveat that I know ballet flats are completely off trend, does anyone have a recommendation for a mid-priced leather ballet flat with whatever passes for a current toe shape? The discussion earlier this week about toe shape left me completely at sea.

    And yes I know loafers are more current (particularly with lug soles) but my feet are huge, I am self-conscious, and I do not want my feet to look more like hoofs than they already do. The soles are wearing out on my trusty Rothys (round not pointed; see aforementioned huge feet) and I want to replace them with a work appropriate shoe and am assuming leather would read better than knit right now (no mater how much I loved having washable shoes).

  9. Coach Laura

    To the poster a few weeks ago who wanted an inexpensive but good quality bicycle: I was just In REI and they are having a 20% off sale. Their house brand Coop bikes are below $500 and below $700. You can’t beat REI for service and helpful people. I’ve been to REI stores in Seattle, North Carolina, California and Portland and they are great.

  10. Alex Jones - justice, finally

    Good work, jury. He’s the actual worst.

    Texas lawyers: it’ll get reduced, right? To no more than twice compensatory damages plus $750K?

    • Ellen

      I am not admitted in Texas, but I do know that judges can always reduce the amount of a verdict, but not increase it. So if the Judge likes the plaintiff, he will not lower it below the maximum allowed. Alternatively, he can do nothing and on appeal, the justices can decide what they want to do.

  11. Anon

    Help me shop! I’m looking for a crossbody purse to wear while running errands on the weekends. Needs to hold a large wallet, large set of keys, phone, and makeup pouch. I liked the look and size of the Lululemon Festival purse but I don’t like how the main compartment is accessed.

    • Anon

      My favorite crossbody bag is the Edie Bag from Roots. It’s smallish, leather, and has held up remarkably well for the cost. It doesn’t have a lot of width though. They have other styles that are roomier, depending on how large your makeup pouch is.

  12. Anon

    Dear hive, I feel a strong sense of relief today that my dear little furbaby and I made it through his annual checkup and vaccine appointment with less hissing and growling than previous years. Little cat still needed to be put into a burrito to get the shots, but its over for another year – yea!

    • MagicUnicorn

      Hurray for improvement! It may never be afun trip, but hopefully your furbaby is recognizing these visits are simply unpleasant and not terrifying.

      • Anon

        Yes, exactly. I think he still remembers the time he had to get his urinary crystals cleared (before I got him on the special vet food), and he sees every potential vet experience as being that painful and unpleasant, when it’s not going to be that way.

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