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Weekend Open Thread

black midi tank dress with a V-neck and a side slit

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

There have been a lot of midi tank dresses over the past few years — which have been your favorites, readers? Which ones have you gotten a ton of wear out of? This V-neck sleeveless tank dress from Paige looks great if you're still on the hunt. I like the V-neck, as well as the fact that the side slit isn't too high. They've shown it with strappy high heeled sandals, but I could see it working just as well with the ubiquitous white sneaker.

The dress comes in black and sage for $149.

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Sales of note for 12.5

142 Comments

  1. I am for some reason feeling less interested in wearing skirts/dresses to nice restaurants and events. But pretty much all of my “going out” clothes are dresses and the only pants I have are jeans and work pants. What’s the right pants outfit equivalent to a LBD? I was thinking maybe getting some flowy wide leg pants and pairing it with a silk blouse?

    1. Ooh, that does sound nice. Someone in my office has wide-leg bright pink pants that she wears with a black blouse and some leopard mules with black accents, and I always think it’s fabulous.

      1. I love wearing wide-legged pants with a pretty top for events, although I do try to make sure the top is shorter ( maybe just slightly past the waist) and a bit fitted.

        I actually got a complement on such an outfit one time from a woman probably in her 20s, I was pretty chuffed!

    2. You know all those models who are topless, or wearing something that is barely a top, under a blazer? It’s kind of silly when it’s supposed to be office wear, but I think it’s a cool look for going out. The blazer can be a non-traditional material like silk or velvet, and I think many kinds of pants look good.

      1. I think it’s a cool look and as an IBTC member, I could pull it off. BUT I slouch a bit and IMO it’s a look that demands good posture (maybe b/c I am usually clothed — heh).

    3. I can’t seem to get comfortable in wide leg pants. The fabric swishes so much around my legs, I feel like I’m going to trip over it. Not because they’re too long- just like it swishes between my calves and ankles. What am I doing wrong?!

      1. You’re not doing anything wrong! The wider pant legs ARE swishing between your calves and ankles. That’s just a fact of what happens when you wear pants with a wider hem. If you’ve been wearing skinny jeans and leggings all your life, that’s probably a brand-new sensation.

        What do you do? You just wear the new silhouette enough times to figure out if a) it’s just the newness that is bothering you and once you’re past that, you’re fine or b) you actually really don’t like the feeling at all and will never adjust to it, and wide-leg pants aren’t for you.

      1. I was thinking of a jumpsuit. They can be really cool and dressed up or down. I think a sexy backless one is great for a night out.

  2. My go-to dress for the past two summers has been the Reverie v-neck midi tank dress by Z Supply. I have it in 7 colors and am wearing one right now.

    1. I didn’t know that brand. There is another midi where the neckline isn’t as low that looks like it could be my new go-to. Thanks for the rec!

  3. Has anyone had a tummy tuck and lipo? I’ve gained a lot of weight on ivf (over 60 pounds, estrogen was rough on my thyroid) and getting close to target weight.

    Is it very painful? How is recovery? Any recommendations for finding great surgeon?

    Thanks in advance!

    1. I had a friend who got lipo. It looked great. But if you gain weight, it will all come back. How close to perimenopause are you?

      1. Not OP, but in a similar boat. Why is perimenopause timing relevant? Is it because there’s an assumed weight gain with it? Or is there some sort of tummy tuck guidance where it isn’t ideal for people in their 40s/ 50s?
        Thanks!

        1. Not the person who made that comment, but everyone I know gained weight in perimenopause/menopause.

          1. Op. Estrogen changes causes weight to pile on and also puts you at risk for fat liver disease which you can get even if otherwise skinny.

    2. I had a tummy tuck some years ago (after weight loss gave me a Shar Pei tummy) and it is not for the faint of heart!! I am happy with the results but… it is most definitely not for the faint of heart. I took four weeks off work and was glad I did, because I had complications involving fluid buildup in my lower abdomen. Ugh. (Although if you are working remotely I guess that doesn’t have to be as big a deal.) My advice is the same as for any cosmetic procedure: Whatever recovery time the doctor estimates should be doubled.

      As for finding a great surgeon, ask around. Also if you can find somebody who specializes in tummy tucks, so much the better.

      1. Thank you SA! I am worried as a caregiver of my mum (along with my husband who does all the lifting) that I’ll be bed bound for weeks.

        To the other poster, I’m 48. Last cycle was 5 months ago.

        1. Not bed bound but definitely uncomfortable and definitely not lifting. I’d say totally out of commission for minimum two weeks.

          1. This is very helpful. I have a lot of Shar pei belly but I have some more weight to lose. I’ll meet with a surgeon for a consult in whether to wait or if they can remove the weight. The surgeon near me with the most 5 star reviews actually charges a 250$ consult free which I’d never seen before.

            Anyone else go through lipo and tuck in menopause timing?

  5. This is a rant but idk where else to put this.
    I have 2 very good friends from college, and the 3 of us have a very active group chat. One friend is getting married soon, and the other friend just got engaged so she is starting to plan her wedding (for 2 years from now). I broke up with my boyfriend pretty recently. They are talking about and comparing wedding planning and I’m not jealous but I just feel a bit left out when they’re discussing the exact price of floral centerpieces of whatever. But think it would be petty to bring up, and I do want to be involved in their wedding planning generally!

    2. If you bring this up they’re not going to stop having these conversations, they’ll just start having these conversations outside of the group chat, which may result in you being left out of other conversations too.

    4. Use the time for a pedicure or mask and look at your list of benefits of being single. If you don’t have one make one.

      (I married late in life. My mom never pushed me but others did. I had a great deal of milage from the phrase “God – single. Superheroes- single. Me- single!” Use as needed)

  6. For home improvement stuff that for whatever reason you are physically unable to do yourself, how much patience do you have for a spouse/SO/parent/friend/etc who swears they will do it for you but keeps putting it off? DH and I just got into a blowout fight over me wanting to hire a handyman or taskrabbit to paint a door, hang some curtains, and place a rug under our couch. I’ve been asking him for over a month, and his attitude is “this isn’t an emergency so it can wait”, while I just want it done. I’m so sick of nagging him.

    1. I don’t feel so bad now re paying for help putting a rug under a 6-person dining room table. I feel like I could do this at least a few times a year — hire a couple of burly guys who take direction well for a few hours and tip them well.

      1. 100%, I would get soooo much done doing this, not to mention marital peace! If only DH didn’t object like his life depended on it to hiring….

        1. Oh no, that is the secret to marital bliss. It’s cheaper than counseling and so much more satisfying.

    2. Just set a date after which you are calling, and tell him when it is. Sounds like the date can be soon, since it’s already been a month and these aren’t huge jobs.

      2. This is what I do. “We need X done; if it’s not done by such-and-such date I am calling someone to come do it.” And then I really do call someone and have them come and do the job. After a couple of instances of this, my husband figured out I was serious and started doing things by the deadline – or he would just say “yep, call someone, it’s too much for me.” Which I’m fine with. I would rather call someone to come seal the skylights on our roof, for example, if he doesn’t feel comfortable climbing around up there.

    3. The only way I’d wait for when DH got around to it is if money were tight or we couldn’t afford it. Otherwise hire as soon as this weekend and just get it done.

    4. My husband doesn’t exactly put stuff off, but sometimes he starts things he’s unable to finish. Like the $1500 plumbing visit last week that I suspect would have been less than $1000 if he hadn’t tried to fix it himself first. (it involved replacing pipes and valves. Not exactly your typical homeowner level stuff)

      I just accept him as the whole package. I did manage to hire roofers without too much objection, so that was progress!

      1. Replacing pipes and valves can be homeowner level. I did many at age 25 but drain plumbing is tough supply us easy. having the right tools (only a few but important) and enough time is critical.

        Most likely it would have been a very similar cost.

        1. Oh it wouldn’t have been a similar cost. In the process of “fixing” one line, he didn’t fix that and then broke another! I’m keeping him but it was an expensive lesson in just hire someone the first time.

          1. OTOH it’s a learning experience for him if he really wants to do more repairs in the future, so I would encourage him to practice if it’s his thing. Just not at an inconvenient time like before company is expected or a birth is imminent.

          2. Poster above who self taught at 25. For some reason, every time my husband’s family came to visit, there have been plumbing issues! If I had less experience I would have paid hundreds when some family clogged the toilet or inadvertently unscrewed the shower head (both actually happened). I paid for the confidence by screwing up things first so…..

            BTW most professionals have as well and you’re lucky if someone doesn’t learn on your house. Besides you now have a nice new line!

    5. My answer is that I pay for everything. I am 42 and make 6 figures and am way past the point of asking friends or such to do projects for me. Now, I don’t have a husband but my bf is very handy. However, I am way better at knowing what he has time for and what he doesn’t (he has ADHD, kids, and his own business, and admits he commits to too much). If I know it’s a super quick thing he can do one night when he is over for dinner that’s one thing. Anything over that and I don’t even ask or mention it until I have already hired someone. He always offers, l thank him profusely and then very gently point out how busy he is and that I would rather his free time with me be spent doing something that is more fun like hiking.

    6. My grandparents built their home in the mid-70s and still live there. When they moved in my grandpa promised he would build a bathroom in the basement that was only roughed in during construction. It is now 2022 and there is no bathroom in the basement. Let this be a lesson. If you can afford to pay, then hire someone. For the rug though, get some of those little plastic furniture sliders and move it yourself. They make it super easy!

      1. This reminds me of the light switch in the dining room of my childhood home. My dad kept promising to install it, and didn’t get around to doing it until the house was about to be sold and the buyers demanded a light switch (we’d been plugging the light fixture into the socket all those years to turn it on). When he was finished, my mom said, “See? It only took 15 minutes!” And my dad said, “What are you talking about? That job took TWENTY YEARS!”

      2. Tell me more about these furniture sliders! I would kill to be able to do this stuff myself. My amazon searching is failing me

          1. Here is where they stump me — Trying to put in rugs in a room that has furniture in it already. Hardwood floors. I can scoot things around a bit on floors (I don’t want to scrape or dent them), but I can never move things around enough to deal with rolling out a rug (and we likely have 3 very large rug-needing rooms that have couches, a queen 4-poster bed, and a dining room set in them). I feel like getting the rug pad down and then the rug is hard when there is a lot of big-bulky things (vs re-arranging things, which I can totally do).

          2. Oh, man, I would totally hire help for that! We (Hubby, grown son, and I) swapped out the rugs under the (king and queen sized) beds in two bedrooms a while back and it damn near killed us!

          3. Put the bulky stuff to one end or another room. That’s how the people you hire will do it too.

            Felt for hard wood floors and plastic whoozit for carpets. Back and relationship saving!

        2. If you just search furniture sliders on Amazon you will find them Basically its like a little disk you stick under the furniture leg and it makes it super slippery and you can slide it. You do have to get it under the leg but they are fairly thin so it doesn’t need to be lifted very high at all. I think some may even come with a tool to help you get it under and removed from the legs.

        3. Scotch Adaptable Sliders at Target, havent used yet, has furry bottom to a plastic cup which should work well to move sofa, bookcase, secretary on my hardwood floor

      3. Hah, my parents paid a contractor for a huge renovation when I was six years old– new kitchen, added a great room, fireplace, a bathroom, new windows a siding. For some reason, despite paying for all that stuff, my dad was adamant that he would install the baseboard trim in all those spaces himself. It sat unfinished until my parents divorced and sold the house when I was 16. Now I’m not necessarily saying that trim work led to my parents’ divorce, but…

        1. Same, but my parents didn’t get divorced, but they still have the almond-colored toilet paper spinner and towel bars waiting to be installed in their bathroom. And come to think of it, the hall bathroom doesn’t have that, either. Just the downstairs half bath.

    7. I once posted an ad on Craigslist asking for general labour in a similar situation. For $100, 2 highschool seniors helped me move all my furniture in less than an hour, it was win-win (since I’m sure they used the cash as beer money, lol).

    8. It depends. For those “non-emergency” tasks, I usually explain that it’s bothering me to not have it done and ask DH for a date by which he will actually do it or let me call someone. If there’s an external deadline, like the guest bathroom toilet needs to be fixed before we have guests, I make sure he knows I’m going to call someone if it’s not done a few days before that deadline. I probably would not unilaterally and arbitrarily say, “If this isn’t done in a month, I’m hiring someone to do it.” I’ll admit though that things don’t get done very quickly in my house–DH could totally be the guy who didn’t build out the basement in 50 years.

    9. My husband is a chronic overcommitter to house projects and thinks he can fit way more tasks into a weekend than is humanly possible. I set a specific date where I’ll just call someone to do it. “Okay, you’re going to hang the curtains by next Sunday? In case you end up not having time, I’m going to call someone else do it if they aren’t done two weeks from today”. I always give a short grace period after the target date, but things need to get done at some point.

  7. Does anyone know how Carve bottoms fit? I like some of their pants and I love cords for cooler weather (n.b., Carve is still selling skinnies per today’s catalog (I read catalogs now, how sad is that, b/c the news in the world is So Bad and I need a fluffy lunch read when I’m dining solo)). I am a bit of a pear. And I like full-length bottoms (vs cropped b/c I freeze if an inch of skin is showing). Trying to branch out from my usual mall brands b/c I’ve got up a bit in size since I last shopped in pre-COVID times.

    1. Please. No full sentences or off-tangent rambling clauses within parentheses within parentheses. It makes posts super hard to read.

  8. I have a sibling’s wedding coming up and am trying to find something to wear. The twist is that I’m pregnant, near the end of my first trimester, but not yet ready to widely share the news for a few reasons. This is not my first pregnancy and I’m showing much earlier than I ever have before. It’s easy enough to hide in regular clothes, but I’m not sure how I’m going to pull this off in a dress. Any ideas or suggestions for dresses with very forgiving waistlines?

    1. I wore a cardigan over a sheath dress in your situation and everyone knew. They just kept quiet. In looking at the pictures (what was I thinking), I think a blazer would have been better – something with a little more structure. I would drink faux cocktails to throw them off.

      1. Go with black instead of a pattern and a straight sheath. Something blocky is your friend. Agree with the poster on bright lip. Big necklace. Give them somewhere else to look. A bell shaped dress might also be good depending on how you’re carrying.

    2. Shoulder interest, scoop or v-neck with collarbone showing, red lippy, interesting bracelet, interesting shoes – wear something where people have a natural and very different place to focus their attention.

      For the dress, maybe a dress that has a belt that you can play with a little and maybe poof up the top bit to drape over the belt – you want a more upper part of your body to stick out more or have a “oh, it’s a tie-thingy” explanation.

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/tie-front-midi-dress-regular-plus-size/6991920?origin=coordinating-6991920-0-1-PDP_1-recbot-also_viewed_graph&recs_placement=PDP_1&recs_strategy=also_viewed_graph&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=6991913&color=KHAKI&size=8

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/floral-print-tie-waist-maxi-dress/6983357?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=696

    3. Unfortunately there isn’t a magic outfit that’s going to hide a pregnancy. It’s almost certain that some people will be oblivious and some people will know. Hopefully the people who know will be polite and won’t say anything. If they do, feel free to lie if you’re comfortable with that or deflect with something like “we’ll let know when we have news to share” if you don’t feel like outright denying it.

    4. Depending on how much you’re showing- I recently wore a Calvin Klein sheath dress (from Nordstrom Rack) in a size up and felt like it worked out nicely. I’m postpartum rather than pregnant though (I’ve been congratulated though by strangers, c’mon people) and have a bigger chest.

    5. Could you wear a dress with lots of appliqué on the upper waistline and breast area that night balance it out? And then add a sweater?

    6. Boat neck or off shoulder tiered maxi dress – meant to flow over midsection in wide A line

      Or

      Boxy, oversized blazer (on trend) over a sheath in a too large size

      Or

      A wrap style dress with multiple layers of skirt – camouflaging not tight

        1. idk, empire dresses tend to make me look pregnant when I’m not….they might make it even more obvious if you are

  9. The cabinets I have are painted in something called “cabinet paint” which is some sort of paint mix that 1) smells very strongly (but a bit different than oil paint) and hardens in a month if you don’t use it. Is this some specialty thing (or do only some brands of paint carry it)? It’s tinted in Chantilly Lace, but it’s not a BM paint type. I need to do some touchups but cannot figure out how to get more (the sample that I have is hardened but still giving off fumes). Thanks all!

    1. That’s almost definitely an oil-based paint (because it’s stinky and takes a month to cure) that is just formulated for cabinets. Do you have a can of it? I would head to your BM store with the can and/or a cabinet door in hand and ask what they think, they tend to have knowledgeable people on staff. It’s possible that somebody color matched to the BM color with a different paint brand.

  10. I would just like to thank 2020 me for buying a bunch of pants from Talbots when they were on super (maybe desperate) sale. I finally had two occasions where I needed dressy pants this week, and having beautiful new pants that fit me well was one less thing to worry about.

    I stared at them hanging there in my closet with their tags on for the last couple of years wondering why I’d bought them when I pretty much only wear stretchy jeans now, even for in-person meetings, but I don’t think jeans would have been the thing for a wake and a funeral.

    1. I have been pleased with myself for stocking up on sale items when warm earth tones were trending.

  11. Finally letting myself invest in making my home feel more homey after a period of multiple big changes. Looking for recs for 3 items:
    – adjustable height desk when WFH – just go with IKEA or Costco? Willing to spend up to $500
    – a coffeemaker for someone who lives alone and drinks a small cup (6 oz) coffee 2-3x per week. I don’t want to do K-cups for environmental reasons. I’m don’t consider myself a coffee snob, but instant coffee didn’t do it for me. I just want decent coffee I can make at home through the winter. So far, I’ve just driven to a coffee shop when I want it, but that doesn’t make as much sense now that I drink it more than once per week. (willing to spend around $100)
    – a lightweight, cordless vacuum. I would prefer bagless, but the non-negotiables are that I can use it on both floor and carpet and that it doesn’t have the round brush that I’m going to spend an hour cutting hair out of every time I vacuum. I saw a Dyson at a friend’s house that I fell in love with, but it was over $500. I’m willing to spend up to $400 but would prefer cheaper if possible.

    1. I inherited a Keurig with my house (it had been an Air BnB) and thought I would hate it, but it’s fine and convenient. I never use the single-use K cups but have reusable ones, link below to avoid mod. I use good quality coffee and it tastes fine to me (also not a coffee snob).

    2. Dyson is worth it. But refurb if your OK with less than perfection.

      Nespresso has tons of flavor options and recyclable. You can cut them open and use the grounds in your garden if you want to be really green

      1. Would you know much of a (quality) drop off it is for a refurbished Dyson? I got my older parents a refurbished laptop, and while it worked great for their needs, it wasn’t as good as I had expected.

        2. I can’t speak to this particular product, but I bought my Dyson Air Wrap refurbished and it has worked like a dream 2.5 years of daily use so far, and I don’t baby it or clean it the way it should. For anyone considering, it was expensive. But I LOVE it. I have shoulder length hair and bought the extra long fat rods, and I can make my wavy hair into smooth bouncy newscaster curls in just a few minutes now. I’m glad I didn’t pay full price.

    3. An aeropress sounds perfect for what you looking for in a coffee maker. It makes a great single cup of coffee and is well under your budget.

      1. Aeropress or French press would work great.

        A small French press at IKEA would be about 10 bucks.

    4. We bought the Shark cordless pet pro based on a recommendation here and have been using it for 3+ years and it’s still perfect. In fact my BFF also bought one because she liked mine and she’s pretty excited about it – yes, we now text about vaccuum cleaners, welcome to adulthood! – and we both have dogs, plus I also have two cats. Works well on both floors and carpets. More than $100 but there may be a good Labor Day sale somewhere. I def didn’t pay full price.

      In your shoes with the coffee, I’d buy a Nepresso.

    5. I have something similar to this and it’s been great. I am the only coffee drinker in my house but i like one big travel mug full in the AM. Simple, no fuss, not spendynin case you decide to upgrade later on. I will say that the one i have also has the ability to brew into an insulated carafe, which I wanted for entertaining, but have used it maybe 2 times / 10 years

      BLACK+DECKER Single Serve Coffeemaker, Black, CM618 https://a.co/amPXFqC

      1. I had a very similar travel mug/single cup coffee marker to this (maybe Mr Coffee instead of B&D) that got me through…5 or 6 years of daily use, including the first few years of public accounting. the travel mug was great to be able to take to-go if I was slow to get out the door in the morning. I ‘upgraded’ to a small 5 cup maker, just grabbed the lower price one off the shelf at Target. If you want to be able to make a bit more once in a while, be able to make some for yourself and a guest, or have a timer/keep things hot for an hour after you make it I’d go with basically any 5 cup maker. The footprint on my counter is pretty small and could be tucked under the sink if I really needed the space.

    7. I have a height adjustable desk from Costco that I love, so I vote for seeing what they currently have for that! And on the coffee, I’ll echo the Nespresso recommendation. There’s a lot of variety available and the pods are recyclable – they send you a pre-paid bag, you collect them until it’s full, then drop at UPS to send back.

    8. I get fully compostable single cup coffee from SF Bay Company. They can be put in the compost bin (can’t be composted at home). The refillable ones are too annoying.

    9. I have an IKEA adjustable height desk. It won’t blow anyone’s mind with its beauty, but I like it. I have the cheap one with the crank handle.

      I use a pour over dripper. Costs maybe $10, $20 bucks?

    10. Thank you all!
      For the vacuum, I should’ve clarified that it’s for my hair, not a pet. I have been experiencing significant stress-induced hair loss and having to spend ages cutting my own hair out of my vacuum roller brush has been…. not ideal for my mental health. I will look up the shark rec!

    11. Vacuum – we have the Dyson one and like it, but I’ve heard great reviews about the Shark one from here and elsewhere – if I was buying now I’d look hard at that one! My biggest tip is to wall mount it as soon as you get it – we were building for two years and living in a rental when I got ours, so we never mounted it in the rental and just let it lean against the wall and I plugged it in. It brought me an obscene amount of joy (and still does) to have it mounted on the wall and just slip it on and off it’s cradle. We should have mounted it in the rental, it took like 10 minute and would have been worth it.

      Coffee maker – I like my Ninja one. It has a “small serving” option in addition to the full pot. I like having the full pot available for company or if I want to make a bunch to keep in the fridge for iced coffee over a few days.

    12. French press! Inexpensive and makes a GREAT cup of coffee. Just heat water, pour, and wait. We just used a French press for years (until we had babies and wanted to be able to just ores a button at 5 AM and make a half gallon of coffee appear….). But for a nice cup I still love the French press. Plus you can use any coffee and there are no filters – it is as eco friendly and budget friendly as you can be. I have a $10 from the grocery store and a much nicer ceramic one from Le Creuset and they’re both great.

    14. For coffee: pour over. You can buy the small single cup pour over funnel for less than $10 and it makes a gorgeous cup of coffee without the waste of a Keurig or the extras you’d be left with a French press.
      I love my Dyson stick vacuum when it works but would caution you to get it from a place with a good return policy. I’ve had three with battery issues; they have 10 mins of charge when I first got them then we’re down to less than a minute of use per charge within a year. No helpful.
      We also have the adjustable height Costco desk and love it.

  12. On topic for once – this sleeveless target midi dress in black has been a summer workhorse for me. I have been wearing it everywhere – PTA meeting, neighborhood block party, even (with a blazer on top) to work. Highly recommend it and it’s only $20.

    4. Thanks! I ordered this for my college aged daughter. We had a funeral this week, unfortunately, and she discovered she didn’t have a black dress. Seems like it would be good to have one for the future, just in case, and for $20 I figure you can’t go wrong

  13. If you were a size 14 curvy pear and wanted to upgrade into some designer jeans after wearing mainly Levi and Gap, what brands and cuts would you start with?

    Caveat that I don’t have a Nordstrom or the like local enough to make a day trip to try on everything, so I will be ordering online. Thanks!

    1. I’ve been very happy with my H&M “mom” jeans. The higher waist is nipped in, the hips accommodate my sitting-all-day spread, and the length is just right. They’re also 100% cotton, which I love. I’m 5’9″, 160lbs and the size 12 is perfect –no belt needed.

      1. Thanks, but I’m interested in upgrading to some higher-end denim. Mainly because I want to splurge and can afford it, but also so I don’t feel like country bumpkin cousin at my casual work events (finance) where my male peers are in AG jeans.

        1. Well, I don’t think they look low-end. The fit is very good for this long-bodied pear. And isn’t fit usually better at any price usually better than expensive that doesn’t fit?

          1. That’s great! And I really do like my Levis for everyday use!

            I’m not looking for the most comfortable fit ever or lowest cost-per-wear pair but am actually interested in a more premium pair, hence my question.

    2. Honestly there are very few good brands available in size 14. I think that’s size 33 in denim. I’d just go to
      Bloomingdale’s or Nordies and filter by size. AG, Paige, Joe’s, maybe frame. Good American might be your best bet.

    4. I like L’Agence, Mother, and Ralph Lauren. Veronica Beard has also had some great looking Fall season stuff, but I have not actually tried any of them.

  14. I’m attending an outdoor cocktail party/nonprofit benefit for our local zoo on September 10th. Dress code is “Animal inspired cocktail.” I want to look great, spend less than $100, and have fun with this theme without wearing a gorilla mask. What would you wear? I’m a size 6 or 8 and my legs are my best feature.

    3. Nordstrom has a number of leopard-print skirts, both traditional and snow leopard, on sale.

    4. I think you could go two directions:
      1. a tan/brown/beige dress with leopard accessories – big cat colors
      2. a really bright dress with equally bright accessories (maybe stuff you already own) – tropical bird colors

    6. Floaty chiffon above knee dress in teal or similar, with a peacock headdress or single feather.

  15. Ok, this is embarrassing but… I wore a pad / liner earlier this week and I forgot and had it on all day. I wasn’t actually on my period, I had some watery discharge in the morning and didn’t want wet underwear all day. I got a little uncomfortable that night and realized the same liner all day, that was mostly dry. I took it off and showered and thought it was fine. Traveled all day yesterday, was uncomfortable sitting and walking all day, today I finally looked with a mirror and I have what looks to be like rug burn or a small lesion down there. It is so uncomfortable. (I’m confident it’s not an STD but that’s what the internet searching says it is- I’m long single so nothing new there!) Is it safe or effective to put some kind of cream down there?? It doesn’t itch so much as hurt, and honestly I’d compare it to a burn or blister on my finger feeling – more of a wound than an itch. Trying not to be graphic but I’m hoping someone can help! I’m away from my PCP for 5 days and would rather not try a random urgent care unless necessary.

    1. I am not a doctor but I would think something like a Monistat cream would be ok. I have used their topical cream when I’ve had a yeast infection and it helps for irritation and is also cooling so might help with the burn/ wound feeling.

      1. Definitely not neosporin. Apparently, allergies to neosporin are really common and people go to the doctor thinking that they have a terrible infection when they’re really just reacting to the neosporin. Only use it when you’re trying to prevent infection and probably not even then. Aquaphor is a better choice.

    3. Aquaphor. I get those burns from pads and some underwear elastic, sensitive skin!, and a dab of aquaphor night and day for about two days fixes me right up.

        1. I went to the derm for a rash and she asked what I’d been putting on it so far. I said Aquaphor, but I’m like the dad in My Fig Fat Greek Wedding who puts Windex on everything, but my windex is Aquaphor.

          She was so happy I think she wanted to adopt me. She said that it was an excellent choice.

          However, my rash turned out to be poison oak, and that required steroids. Plus Aquaphor.

          1. +1 to the MBFGW reference! It all started early in my childhood when my parents had me put “princess lotion” on my chronic eczema and since then Aquaphor has been my cure-all for skin ailments….

    4. It might be the travel more than the pad? I got terrible vulva pain after sitting for ~12 hours on a flight from Europe to the west coast. I didn’t look to see if I had any visible marks, but it HURT (and I’ve given birth, for reference). Felt like I got punched down there. I slept without underwear for a couple days, and it got better on its own.

      2. I was just coming here to say that! Desitin, Butt Paste, or aquaphor diaper rash. All help when baby gets these.

    6. If your brand of liner was new, consider that you might be allergic to the pad, as well as the more obvious “diaper rash” from your discharge solution. Contact dermatitis from scented products or too plastic-y or unbreathing products could also be a thing.

      1. Yes, when I was traveling to Pitsburgh last year, I thought I had finished with my period, so only wore a light pad. I was OK for the train and at the hotel, but as soon as I finished my work and was heading back to the train station, I began to feel different down there and felt the telltale moistening of my panties when I wasn’t quick enough to have a pad in place after doing it with my ex. The problem was that I was llate heading back to the train, and also did not have a spare pad handy. So I got my train, but un lucky me, there were not anypads in the toilets. I had to get creative and load up down there with lots of toilet paper and just wait until I got back to NYC. I also wound up with a rash the next day that I treated with Zincofax. Because I was not seeing anyone, I knew this wasn’t an STD, and just waited it out with topical applications of Zincofax! YAY Zincofax!

    1. I think a semi-fitted sweater worn half-tucked would be a great weekend look.

      J Crew Factory has been knocking it out of the park lately. I never shopped there until recently and now want to just set up direct deposit from my paycheck.

    2. I have similar ones from Bean and lean into the stripes (like shown on the model). I don’t like the striped shirt shown, due to the odd white cuffs, but love a good striped t, and I feel like they are readily available at all price points. I also wear with a sleeker black t with an interesting neckline and black sandals.

  18. Jumping off of the comment above about pants purchased in 2020… What are (new) items in your closet that you’re looking forward to wearing? For me:
    – new mustard yellow suede pointed flats from Sole Society with this really cool asymmetrical detail on the edge of the top/vamp (?). Hard to explain but gives them a little extra something.
    – new maroon / burgundy leather jacket that recently had the sleeves finally hemmed
    -“Logan” wide leg pants from Banana Republic circa 2009 (when I first started reading here!)—they’re 100% wool (!) and fully lined (!) and miraculously still fit (!!)

    The first two were purchased right before Covid when I was on maternity leave and then all WFH—I finally get to bust them out this fall and we’re in the office 2 days a week. I held onto the pants because they made 20-something me feel strong and confident. Glad to see wider pants come back. May need some hemming.

    1. I’m looking forward to dressing up from time to time. I feel like I’ve largely forgotten how. My day to day is still solid – I never fell into the “athleisure all the time” trap, but there are so few occasions to dress up now.

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