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Updated: Sep 30, 2022 116 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

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dusky blue sweater dress with collar and button front

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Sweater dresses are big this season, and I'm particularly liking the ones that button up the front because they seem so much more versatile. Wear it as a dress, as pictured. (Ok, maybe with different shoes and socks…) In fall/spring, you can unbutton higher and show a bit of bare leg. I'd also play with wearing it either as a dress-with-pants (high slit — maybe with only 3-4 buttons buttoned) — or as a duster cardigan, worn completely open. (I'm seeing it with flared black trousers and a simple black tank-like bodysuit or turtleneck, but that's me.)

The sweater dress itself is on a pretty big sale at Nordstrom – it was $110, but is now down to $66; in addition to the dark blue color pictured it's available in a light brown; Madewell still has some petite sizes in stock. If you prefer gray or white, Caslon has something really similar for $89. (So does Rag & Bone, but for $318.)

(If you're in need of a different size range: Gap has petites and talls in this non-sweater dress that looks similar, and this dress from Amazon's The Drop is available from XXS-5X.)

Psst: Lots of Free People on limited sale today.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Vicky Austin

    I didn’t know sweater dresses were going to be big this year when I decided to wear them for as much of my pregnancy as I could, but if anyone asks, I absolutely DID know and moreover, I knew first.

    Unrelated: I want to hear about everyone’s favorite uses for the Instant Pot, please :)

    • Anon

      I make oat porridge with bananas, apples, cinamon, vanilla soy milk every few days. Soups. Rice. Beans and vegan stews.

      • Curious

        instant pot oatmeal is sooo good. I make it when my in laws come and everyone oohs and aahs over breakfast.

    • Anon

      Hard boiling eggs (7 on pressure cook, natural release for 10+ minutes) & Indian food – for instantpot, not dress.

      • Sybil

        This is what I don’t get about instant pots – I feel like people never count the release times. I can make hard boiled eggs on the stove in less than 17 minutes. I want to like it? It just doesn’t seem that useful in my daily life.

        • Anonymous

          The only thing I like the Instant Pot for is hard-boiled eggs. Even though it takes just as long as the stovetop, they come out better. Everything else took too long and tasted bad. I didn’t want a giant appliance just for boiling eggs, so I got rid of it.

          • Anon

            Perhaps you’d like a non-giant appliance for boiling eggs:

            DASH Rapid Egg Cooker: 6 Egg Capacity Electric Egg Cooker for Hard Boiled Eggs, Poached Eggs, Scrambled Eggs, or Omelets with Auto Shut Off Feature – Black https://a.co/d/f4K31Oo

            I bought this on a recommendation here and I use it all the time. I thought I didn’t need another single purpose appliance but this one is really small and works perfectly every time. My daughter uses the poached egg function pretty often too.

          • Anan

            I love instant pot for soft boiled eggs because they peel so much more beautifully than when I do them on the stovetop.
            I do 3 mins low pressure, quick release and they are the prefect slightly jammy yolk for me.

        • No Face

          I can walk away from the instant pot, which is very important with little kids. So I can the food going and then change a diaper, manage some hurt feelings, chase around a naked baby, etc without worrying about food burning or boiling over.

        • Lyssa

          I have that problem with it, too. The recipes all claim I can make such and such in 30 minutes or something, but by the time I’ve prepped, let it heat enough to come to pressure, cooked, and let it release, I’m usually an hour in at least. And if it takes that long, I would usually rather just wait until I have a good chunk of time and make something better. I’ve got a good collection of 30 minute meals that are tastier for weeknights.

          I’ve had mine for about 3 years (received as a gift). I think I’ve used it 3 times.

          • Anon

            If you ever want to make something that simmers for a long time, like beans, pot roast, bolognese sauce, etc, it’s good for that.

            I agree that for a regular chicken thigh dinner or whatever, its not a time saver.

        • Anonymous

          I do 6 min , quick release. They come out better and are super easy to peel.

      • Anon

        Oh yeah instant pot Indian food is the best. That was my lockdown food for early 2020. The website two sleevers or something like that is great. I especially appreciate her instructions on how to cook the basmati rice on a rack at the same time as the curry cooks below it.

    • Anon

      Chicken tortilla soup, Indian food, and shredded chicken, with a special mention for steel cut oatmeal which I then put in muffin tins, freeze, and microwave a fiber puck with a ton of TJ’s Everything but the Bagel on it every morning.

      • SS

        +1 to Indian food and specifically butter chicken. The recipe from the Indian Instant Pot Cookbook makes a double batch so perfect for one dinner and one frozen batch of sauce that can be used for a quick weeknight dinner with whatever protein suits your fancy. I like shrimp just to keep it different.

    • Anon

      Risotto. 90% as tasty as the version that takes an hour on the stove, about a quarter of the work.

      Cooking sweet potatoes, especially when it’s too hot to turn on the oven.

      • Anon

        As a dedicated risotto specialist, risotto on the stove top does not take an hour!

        How do you get the creamy starchy sauce without stirring though?

          • Anonymous

            You may make quick risotto, but that doesn’t mean it is good risotto or properly/traditionally prepared risotto. Lots of people make food more quickly than the traditional manner, and those people usually can’t tell the difference so it’s good all around,but some of us can tell you cheated. Risotto is a prime example of that. I presume you are good at chopping the ingredients if you are making the same thing over and over each and every week, so that probably does save you some time legitimately.

          • Anon

            You aren’t a special cook who is good at making risotto fast; you’re just making it badly. The InstantPot version might even be better than yours.

          • Anon

            I’m not Anon at 3:57 but I think it’s weird to assert that risotto has to take at least one hour to make. Even the BA recipe you linked (and it’s dumb to say anyone who doesn’t follow a particular recipe is a bad cook) says the actual risotto making process takes 5 minutes of toasting the rice plus 25-30 minutes of adding liquid ingredients and stirring. So…very in line with what that poster said about 30-40 minutes? Chopping ingredients should not be counted in the prep time because the InstantPot isn’t going to save you time in that department. You can also save time on that by spending more money for pre-cut vegetables at the grocery store or bulk chopping ingredients on the weekends. I have several good risotto recipes that require basically no prep – it’s just the time spent cooking the rice, which does not take 1 hour according to the recipe you linked (or any other recipe I’ve seen).

        • LaurenB

          The great thing is that we don’t care if someone thinks we “cheated” and took the easy way out. Just because some people like to cook doesn’t mean we all do, or that we all think homemade food is soooooo superior.

      • Seafinch

        I always say the exact same thing. 90% as good with less than five minutes work. Definitely a top use. I use mine daily for: mashed potatoes, rice, quinoa, beans (Lots of beans!!), boiled eggs, steel cut oats, Indian food, a few pasta dishes, mashed potatoes and meatloaf together at the same time, stew, pot roast, any kind of pulled/shredded meat, and dessert; Creme Brulee, rice pudding, and Pots de Creme.

    • Anon

      Anything that needs a long, slow simmer I throw in the instant pot, even if I start it on the stovetop. I usually use the low pressure setting for this and my rule of thumb is sort of a divide by 10 (not literally because the clock is base 12), but for instance, a 3 hour simmer stovetop is a 30 minute low pressure jaunt in the instant pot. I appreciate the unattended time almost as much as the time savings.

      We also make rice in the instant pot. I especially appreciate it for rice that takes longer to cook, like brown rice or wild rice.

    • Anonymous

      Hard boiled eggs, rice, beans, plain chicken for shredding, risotto, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, beets

    • Anan

      My favorite IP uses are:
      -brown rice
      -boiled eggs
      -big pot of beans
      -steaming Taiwanese zongzi
      – premaking dinner, in the morning so that dinner is waiting when I get home. (I’ve never really gotten as good results with my slow cooker…)
      -I used to make yogurt, but it’s not as cost effective these days as it used to be.
      Favorite cookbooks: Milk Street Fast and Slow and Indian Instant Pot

    • Anon100

      Another one here for Indian food – I also like the instant pot for Japanese curry and for Taiwanese beef noodle soup or stew. On the stove, Taiwanese beef noodle soup takes at least 2 hours, usually closer to 3, and since I have a gas stove, I more or less prefer to stay within sight of the stove. In the Instant Pot, I put everything in once the beef is cleaned of impurities, and off I go do other things in or even outside the house. Come back an hour or so later, the beef is perfectly tenderized (which I sometimes fail to do on the stove) and the soup is delicious.

      My parents like making brown rice in the Instant Pot – according to my mom, that means she can use the rice cooker to steam eggs instead of cooking rice in it. Dad uses the Instant Pot to make a thin yogurt.

    • Anon

      Pork shoulder – carnitas and pulled pork. Takes a fraction of the time it does in the oven and comes out perfect every time.

  2. PCOS help

    Advice for PCOS? I have always had it but frankly have ignored it for many years. I am in my mid-30s, now have prediabetic blood sugar levels and am also hoping to get pregnant soon and am trying to take better control of my PCOS and health but I am overwhelmed at where to start. Do I see a dietician? Do I try to see my ob? What about a general health coach? Is HIIT good or bad for PCOS (I see studies for both!). Should I focus on changing my eating first or exercise or both? There are so many books and recipe books. I generally have started exercising more by walking 30 min a day + light jogging or cycling 3x a week. I have cut back on carbs but have not embraced keto. I feel like the more information I read the more overwhelmed I am.

    • Betsy

      I could have written your post word for word, but especially the last line. I saw an OB recently and she was happy to prescribe fertility meds, but wasn’t helpful in providing guidance on getting my PCOS under control. For me, exercise alone has never made a noticeable improvement in PCOS symptoms. The only thing I’ve done that has made a difference is doing the Whole30. When I do a Whole30, I get my period. Unfortunately I haven’t quite figured out how to use that information to create a sustainable dietary lifestyle but that’s what I’m trying to work on now.

    • Anon

      Would your insurance pay for a continuous blood glucose monitor, or would you be willing to self-pay if you had a script for one?

      I found that seeing a dietician was somewhat helpful; I learned a few things (including that my diet was inadequate in some nutrients).

      But actually seeing blood sugar respond to different foods can be way more helpful than just taking advice from other people. Sometimes this is called “eating to the test.” When I tested my diet, I had to do finger prick testing with a glucometer, but this was hellish and not particularly cheap, and I would choose a few weeks of painless continuous glucose monitoring instead now that it exists.

      For getting pregnant, reproductive endocrinologist is the specialist to see w/PCOS.

    • Anon

      I still don’t have it figured out, and I have lean PCOS with no insulin sensitivity (that has been detected, at least) but my understanding is that managing your blood sugar levels is the most important thing you can do. Eating balanced meals (with protein and fat), eating your vegetables before the rest of your meal/starting meals with a light salad, avoiding sugar, etc. Inositol also has some great studies demonstrating it is as effective as drugs like metformin but without many of the side effects. I take a lot of different supplements and even my traditional doctors tell me to keep taking inositol.

    • AnonZee

      I’m trying to hard to reply to you and it keeps saying “spam deleted”. Grr. Keep checking back, OP.

      • Kat G

        I just checked spam and don’t see anything in there, but any bigger reply is not in the moderation queue… I’ll email my tech guys.

        • AnonZee

          I reworded my first paragraph ever so slightly and seems to have taken this time around. Hoping it made it to mod queue.

          • Kat G

            Argh. We had an onslaught of spam a week or so ago so I changed some discussion settings and then my tech guys did – since that our “spam” is way down (under 10 messages a day instead of 300+) but there have been a lot more legitimate comments getting stuck in the few messages I am seeing. I apologize to anyone who has had messages deleted; we’re working on it now. Thank you for reading!

          • AnonZee

            Is mine in queue? It didn’t post real time but also didn’t say “spam deleted’, so hoping it went through.

    • Annie Q

      I went keto five years ago and never looked back. It will greatly lower your A1C and also lower your inflammation which is a key risk factor on most of our so-called rich people diseases (astonishing that doctors don’t even look at it). Keto seems hard because you can’t imagine giving up foods you love, but once you go two or three weeks without them, you will wonder why you ever cared. You just lose your cravings for them. Unfortunately, just going low carb isn’t enough, because it won’t put you into ketosis which is where the magic happens. The continuous energy and feeling of well-being alone made me love keto; the fact that I lost 30 pounds was icing on the cake.

  3. Anon

    What would you wear for dinner with the CEO and CEO’s wife of your husband’s giant company? My husband is the lowest man on the totem pole invited – it’s a dinner with the leadership (and spouses) of his department. Saturday night, at a restaurant. Husband said the dress code was “polo and khakis,” though it’s supposed to be pouring rain and 60°, so too cool for short sleeves for anyone.

  4. Anon

    I had a horrible month. Busy work, everyone on my team had COVID, random nonsense. Now that quarter end has happened and I’m still standing, I am feeling like a small plurge. Does anyone have a SportKilt (specifically, the women’s SportKilt or the HikingKilt)? I was thinking of a rufflepuff dress, but I like the vibe of the SportKilt. I am not Scottish (sort of EuroMutt background tho). But I think they just want to sell me a kilt? Also, I was thinking I could wear over leggings now that it is cooling off and it would cover my butt and also be cute (and less blocky than all of the sweatshirt tunic dresses I have). Pls tell me you have this and love this b/c I really think I want one. [Any sizing tips appreciated — I am a bit of a pear.]

    • Anonymous

      It would be great for caber tossing (do women do that?) or axe throwing.

      • Anon

        My area has Highland Games. My cousin’s wife is super into that (she is very Braveheart). Apparently there are events where women throw very heavy things. IDK if they are cabers or other things. But I think it’s like track & field, but with ale and more redheads.

    • Anon

      I read “small purge” and I agreed, I am also ready for a small purge. See you at midnight.

    • Anon

      Aiiii! Splurge!

      [Although, I had lunch today. Then I looked at the container — it was a bit expired. Just a week! It’s been that sort of month. Hopefully it will be an uneventful evening, punctuated by some internet browsing / shopping.]

    • Anon

      I actually have one. I got it as part of a punk rock costume. Fit-wise they are adjustable but run small. In normal clothes I am a 0/2, hips are bigger than my waist but not abnormally so. I have a medium skirt and it is the correct size.

  5. Anon

    Thank you so much for the commenters who responded to my VA/DC tax question this morning. I called HR and they fixed it…DC had been taking $700 a month from me in taxes. I cannot believe my take-home pay is increasing my that much! I feel very relieved.

  6. AnonZee

    Raging case of PCOS here. Undiagnosed until TTC at 33 years old. It was then diagnosed after 6 months of naturally trying (I lied and said it was 12 so we’d get pushed through based on a gut feeling…). Sounds like you already have a diagnosis, though.

    I would strongly recommend ignoring all the noise and talking to your OBGYN and ideally a referral to and conversation with a reproductive endocrinologist. There are some well-intentioned OBGYNs out there that will prescribe you clomid or other meds to induce ovulation, but that would have been highly, highly risky for me given the volume of eggs I had (seriously – I’m in a study because I have SO many, even for PCOS). Leave the conception interventions to the pros – the reproductive endocrinologists.

    My RE had me do two things immediately: (1 ) get on 1500 mg of metformin daily to address my insulin resistant case (is yours IR? You’ll want to know), and ( 2) lose/manage weight – I got on WW and lost about 45 lbs up until the moment that I was pregnant. There was no discussion of exercise except in the context of managing weight. I was already active and knew I had to focus on what I was putting in my mouth, not getting an extra 20 mins of HIIT daily.

    The rest of it all WooWoo looking to make a buck and confuse you so you keep coming back for more, as far as I’m concerned. If Keto or IF or whatever helps you lose, that’s great, and do what works. But, remember, you can’t out exercise a bad diet. All the exercise in the world will not change the fact that your body reacts to food differently than the average Joe. I’d focus on food and not exercise.

    I am someone that conceived using an IUI the first time at age 34. Trying for our second now, at age 37, has been a challenge. Eggs for days (yay pcos) but an angry uterus, it would seem. My only wish is I had been diagnosed at a younger age and started to talk to an RE much, much sooner. FWIW, my PCP decided to put me on metformin full time. I’m now taking a break from TTC and I’m on wegovy and using WW. Down 30 lbs in 3 months. You might try something like that if you’re looking to make changes in the immediate term before TTC.

    Post your location if you need a good doctor recommendation! RE or otherwise.

  7. Anonymous

    Sometimes I have a hard time identifying and articulating my feelings. I have gone to a therapist. She told me I sound like I know myself very well, I do not need medication of any kind, I effectively communicate, and she doesn’t think she can help me. My boyfriend is great and our relationship is solid. He does get frustrated sometimes as I come off “like I don’t care” when he is frustrated at something at work or with his ex (they share children, so they still communicate). I try to listen actively but we think what he’s looking for is validation – that I understand, agree with him, believe his feelings are justified, or get even angrier and riled up on his behalf. But I don’t feel any of that – I don’t always think he’s being rational, or he may be defensive, but I don’t want to say that when I think he’s venting. So I sit and nod and ask questions and say I’m sorry it is happening and that it sucks – and yet – he thinks I should have more of an emotional reaction. I guess if I do have an emotional reaction, it’s pretty far down and I can’t “feel” it or maybe I think it’s a thought but I don’t know the right words? Anyone have any ideas for me to bridge the gap here, either learn something so I can adapt or new phrasing so I can share his struggles differently?

    • No Face

      I think your boyfriend’s expectations are a little unreasonable. Listening, asking questions, or saying “that sucks” are appropriate responses. He needs to accept your personality.

    • Senior Attorney

      Ugh he sounds awful. Don’t let him tell you you are doing your feelings wrong.

      Have you tried being honest? “BF, honestly you don’t sound super rational at this point. I can’t seem to give you a response that satisfies you so I’m gonna go in the other room until you are feeling better.”

      • Senior Attorney

        And also? Don’t take on the emotional labor of his co-parenting or work issues. You are maintaining good boundaries and you shoudl keep it up!

    • Anon

      I think this is totally normal. I don’t think you can really bridge the cap, you can’t fake the anger and be upset. I recall one older female family member talking about how she has to manage the “ego” of her husband. I didn’t quite get it at first but as I’ve gotten older, I see the examples you shared and the the reaction the man wants as being example of it. What I tell my husband is that I can’t support him and help him if I am as upset by things as he is.

    • Explorette

      This is a him problem, not a you problem. He is expecting you to be as emotionally involved as he is in issues that frankly, you never will be. It’s not your ex wife or your job. You are not, and should not, take on the emotional baggage of his struggles. I suggest you have a conversation with him about reframing his expectations of how you should react.

    • Anon

      Sounds like you don’t think very highly of him, tbh. And if he is being irrational or defensive that’s probably reasonable. But I get why he’s upset. If my partner frequently thought I was being silly when I had a problem, I’d feel pretty unsupported and lonely. Anyway, what I’m trying to say, is I think he picks up on your true feelings even if you’re saying the right words.

    • Anonymous

      Girl. What. No. You don’t have a problem except that you don’t feel the way he wants you to. You solve that with a new boyfriend.

    • Anonymous

      Welp, here’s my (off the cuff and perhaps entirely inaccurate) take on what’s going on with this particular example. Your boyfriend wants you to validate his reactions by expressing the same frustration or outrage he is feeling. You can’t do that, because you’re not a fake person and you’re not going to express what you don’t feel.

      You probably actually ARE in touch with what you feel, it’s just that they’re not things you’re going to express to someone who is in the middle of venting. Here’s some options for what you might be feeling-but-not-expressing: If you’re thinking he is being defensive or irrational and are getting fed up with being the dumping ground for his immaturity and foolishness, you might be feeling impatience, disapproval, frustration, intolerance, loss of respect, etc. Or, if you’re understanding that he’s in a bad place and isn’t actually an irrational, defensive, insecure, angry as he seems, you might be feeling caring, patient, forgiving, tolerant, and welcoming.

      Since I don’t like people venting at me, I’d probably be feeling impatient or frustrated. But since I cared about him, I’d be doing my best to be tolerant and understanding. That’s about all I’d be able to muster.

    • AIMS

      I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong and I think your BF is expecting too much. But if you’re looking for a phrase I think something like “that sounds really hard” or “that’s so frustrating” is a good go-to.

    • Nesprin

      How does he react to “I’m not going to be a good audience” +/- “why don’t you talk to X about this”?

      Honestly from what you’ve written it sounds like this is a him problem not a you problem- if he’s expecting you to empathize (i.e. feel what he’s feeling) with him and not sympathize (i.e. feel bad that he’s hurting, but not feel his underlying hurt) that’s not particularly healthy.

      And especially the way you’re tying yourself in knots trying to be a better partner- this is about identifying with his feelings not identifying yours right?

    • Anon

      Do not get into a pattern where your significant other tells you how you feel. That’s a slippery slope to emotional abuse. Ask me how I know.

    • Anon

      I think we’ve had the same experience with a therapist. started seeing a therapist after goung to the ER for panic attacks and went to maybe 8 sessions before she said basically the same thing. That I know myself, am self aware and seem to know what to do about what we were talking about. I stuck with about 3 more sessions when she asked Why I was here in therapy and it didnt seem like I needed more help on the issues we’d been talking about. Stopped going after that because I felt like what I answered wasnt a great reason to be showing up each week. Mostly because I felt really dumb trying and failing to express what I was feeling in a way she could understand.

    • Anon

      I think your therapist is right, you don’t need a pill or counseling, you need a new boyfriend.

    • Cat

      a martini but with soda water so it’s not as strong
      French 75 but… with vodka

      tbh, I like more flavor in my alcohol (vodka mostly feels like I’m just spiking something for the sake of drinking) so rum, gin, bourbon, or tequila are all easier to experiment with IMHO.

      • pugsnbourbon

        Most flavored vodkas are gross IMO but the fancy Ketel ones are good.

    • Anon

      I prefer gin in most things but I love vodka in a French martini (which is not a French 75.)

      2 oz pineapple juice
      2 oz vodka
      .5 oz Chambord

      Shake with ice. Poor into a martini glass

      It’s a really pretty drink. The Pineapple juice makes it a bit foamy and the chambord will eventually settle a bit to the bottom of the glass, making a two toned effect.

      I usually go a bit heavier on the pineapple and lighter on the vodka but that’s just personal taste.

    • Anon

      Vodka and tonic with a squeeze of lemon or grapefruit. It’s pretty basic but it’s my favorite.

  9. Anonymous

    What’s everyone doing this weekend?

    I have an unusually busy one – skating lesson for kid, then exploring a new area with my husband for a long afternoon date on Saturday.

    • Anon

      After feeling like we had no social life for two years, we’re suddenly very busy every weekend lately. Today: Corn maze with friends and play date for kiddo. Tomorrow: Sunday school and dinner with husband’s colleagues.

    • Anonymous

      Date night on Friday — dinner and a play + nightcap
      Saturday — Morning workout; 11-2 Art lecture followed by late lunch; birthday party in the burbs for a work colleague/friend (ugh, the drive/$120 uber)
      Sunday — Morning workout; farmers market meetup; art walk to see my friend’s studio + dinner

      Somewhere in here I have to do some work.

    • Liza

      Saturday morning sports were cancelled for weather. So Saturday = two kids’ birthday parties, then my husband went to a ball game with his friend.

      Sunday = sports lessons for the kids (unless also cancelled), meeting up with an acquaintance from our old city and their family, and a race in the afternoon (also pending weather).

  10. Anon

    I need advice so I don’t burn bridges. I will be starting maternity leave soon. After a lot of thought, I’ve decided I don’t want to come back to my employer after the leave due to work life imbalance and other issues. I have an open offer (from a family friend) for a job that will allow me to lean back for a months or a year, and then I plan to pursue something more career oriented again. Can/should I give notice early in my leave and still get my full maternity benefit while also giving a lot of notice? Do I wait closer to my return date and say it was a last minute decision? Is there a third way I’m not seeing?

    • Anonymous

      No. Give two weeks notice. You don’t wing yo get fired while on leave.

    • Cat

      I don’t know anyone who trusts their employer that much. Say nothing, at the end of your leave say you were presented with an opportunity that was too good a fit to turn down, and move on. You’re not the first or last to do this.

      • Anon

        +2, I did this twice for two separate jobs (about four years apart, in different cities) and I waited until about three weeks were left in my maternity leave before giving notice for each. NBD.

      • Liza

        +3. You won’t be burning bridges IMO. Unless this is a particularly small and likely-to-be-resentful employer, where you expect references to carry a ton of weight and in a small industry that will impact your future career. But at, e.g., a BigLaw firm, I’d bet they’ll forget about you within 2 months. It’s not a big deal.

    • Anonymous

      Wait. Do not give notice until you are ready to no longer be affiliated with the current employer.

    • Anonymous

      Third way: plan on going back to the job. Tell friend you are excited about the opportunity and will make a decision when you have 3 weeks of Mat leave left.

      If your maternity leave is unpaid or not protected (meaning they don’t legally have to rehire you), my answer changes. Do whatever you want, when you want. But if it is paid or partially paid, or you’re in a protected category like FMLA, or on current employers benefits, I’d wait.

      Reason: my company regularly accepts resignations effective immediately or 2 weeks from the date of the notice, even and especially when it’s someone on maternity or medical leave who is trying to “be nice” and give 10 weeks notice. This means company can start hiring, they see it as they didn’t discriminate because you voluntarily quit, and they aren’t on the hook for providing their premium for medical insurance. Instead you go on COBRA way earlier, at your expense.

  11. Anon

    suggestions for leaf peeping drives and lunch or dinner in the nj/ny/pa/CT areas?

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