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Updated: Oct 31, 2022 191 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Fashion

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cocoa coated jeans from L'Agence

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Important weekend-related questions, ladies: do you prefer coated denim, faux leather, suede, or actual leather? (Do you find one category is more versatile than another?) If you are wearing this kind of look, are you opting for skinny jeans or “newer” styles like bootcuts? (And: what are your thoughts on colored leather?!) Are you still wearing the faux leather leggings that were omnipresent the past few years?

{related: can you wear leather to the office?}

I'm always interested in these things because I feel like I should be someone who wears a lot of this look (I do like the edgy tough-girl look!) but the coated denim and faux leather pants I have are kind of really cold for winter, yet it feels like the look is solidly a winter one. (I sometimes just suck it up and wear silk long johns — even beneath those Spanx leggings — but that can feel bulky rather quickly.)

Still, hope springs eternal — when I saw these cool coated denim jeans from L'Agence on the website I thought, OOH, what are those? The dark cocoa/petrol color feels new. I can't decide how I feel about the bootcut legs, though. (Although I think I do prefer them to the split hems on these.)

The pictured jeans are $286 at Nordstrom (and they also come in a super bright hot pink, which if you can wear, my hat is OFF to you). L'Agence actually has a ton of coated denim in bootcuts, skinny, and cropped styles — as do most of the major denim brands. If you're looking for an affordable way to try the trend, Mango, STS, Topshop, and Kut from the Kloth all have options under $100.

Readers, what are your thoughts?

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Sales of note for 9.10.24

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Lyssa

    I love the look of my faux leather leggings, but I agree, they’re crazy cold. I really can’t wear them unless it’s warm enough that I could go bare-legged. And since I wouldn’t wear them in actual hot weather, and it’s a look that’s obviously not going to work for most of my activities, this means I might have 2 opportunities to wear them a year (or I try layering them with hose, but … ugh). Sigh.

  2. Senior Attorney

    Help! I had been going to the same hair colorist for, like, 15 years and was more and more dissatisfied for a variety of reasons. Finally a few weeks ago I needed an appointment and she wasn’t available so I went to the woman who cuts my hair, and she did my color and it was great. So I haven’t been back to original colorist. I asked the new person if, if it were her, she’s prefer a “breakup” conversation or just to be ghosted,and she said she’d rather be ghosted because after all it’s just business. So. It’s been maybe 2 months. I go every three weeks for touch ups so definitely it’s been enough time for Old Colorist to notice.

    Well. Just now Old Colorist texted me and said “Hope all is well. I miss you.” (Note we are still friends on social media.)

    Augh. What do I do? Say “All fine here, hope you are well, too?” Ignore? Say “I’m fine, miss you too but driving to [where you are] just got to be too much?”

    Help!

    • Zennia

      I’d reply something like, “thanks for checking in! Hope all is well. My logistics have changed and I’m going to someone [closer/easier] now. Thank you so much for making me look fabulous over the years!”

    • Cat

      You’ve been seeing this person more often than I see my best friend… I think ghosting is a little odd with that amount of history. I’d text back and say hey, good to hear from you, all good! Full disclosure, I decided to switch salons bc the drive just got to be too much, but I didn’t know how to tell you, and indecision led to inaction… sorry about that!

    • ANON

      Our hair changes over the years as do the techniques and products. Sounds like your colorist hasn’t been keeping up.

  3. Anonymous

    I have a faux leather skirt I bought to give my evening looks some edge. I am planning on wearing it with tights and boots so it suits the season, but I agree it’s not very warm.

  4. Jo April

    I’ve got an afternoon free in Manhattan and really need to get a couple of pairs of pants for winter officewear. I’d like to stay around $100 per pair, bootcut or wide leg, full-length, size four-ish, and the cherry on top would be natural fibers instead of poly. Am I going to need to time-travel back to 1940 for this? Where should I shop?

    • Another anon

      I’m looking for pants too and the closest I’ve seen to this is Theory … more than $100 per pair though unfortunately.

    • Anon

      You are going to have to budget more than $100 for that, but I’d try consignment stores.

    • NYNY

      You may need to increase your budget for wool, sadly. I’d probably shop along Fifth Avenue in the Flatiron district, where there’s a J. Crew that is more likely to have workwear than some of their other locations, Banana, Aritzia, Theory, Eileen Fisher, and more in a stretch from 16th to 21st street.

      • Anon

        Agreed on the geography, but JCrew had no wool work pants for women when I was there for the same reason a month ago.

    • Anon

      You’ll need to time travel to find what you want at that price point. Think more $300/pair.

    • AIMS

      Check Club Monaco in that stretch of Flatiron and then walk up to Uniqlo on 33rd street. That’s where I get all my reasonably priced winter work pants.

      • Ellen

        I second Uniglo.Their stuff is not expensive, and a decent buy at least for a couple of seasons unless you sit on the subway. I sat from 77th down to Brooklyn Bridge, and wound up with a big stain on my tuchus from the subway, and I never even saw that their was marinara sauce on the seat even after I got up b/c it all got absorbed into my pants.

      • highlander

        That Uniqlo bit the dust unfortunately, but there are stores elsewhere in Manhattan (SoHo, Hudson Yards, 53rd).

  5. Anon

    I posted here a few weeks ago (maybe more like a month ago) about my sweating, even in cooler temperatures. I have to change my underwear when I get to the office in the morning because I sweat so much on the way to the subway. I knew I sweat a lot as a side effect from medication, but your responses were helpful in making me realize I don’t have to live this way. My doctor prescribed Glycopyrrolate to me this morning to try to combat the sweating. Has anyone had any experiences with it? I’m looking forward to trying it out and I’m encouraged that there is an option, so I’ll report back about how well it works.

    • Anon

      I don’t have any experience with the drug but I found wool underpants wicked away sweat and are way, way better than cotton ones.

        • anon

          Surprisingly, it’s not! I (a different person from the poster 4:58) wear merino wool underpants from Icebreaker, and the material is perfectly comfy.

          • anon

            Another fan of Icebreaker underwear here. Wore it for 3w in brutal colds of Patagonia mountains and months of humid summer in Europe and can only sing praises for the moisture-wicking properties and how airy and soft they feel. I have super-sensitive skin and didn’t have any discomfort while wearing it.

    • Anoynymous

      I’ve taken that medication over the years, and once you adjust to the initial dehydration, it’s awesome! I had to go off for pregnancy/nursing, but I can’t wait to go back on it!

  6. Anon

    I could use some outside perspective on a decision I have to make, albeit it seems like a small one. My H has been talking about going to a sporting event this weekend that I know nothing about and have no interest in. He wants to go only because an old friend of his will be there (who I have never met). I just found out an activity that I participate in regularly has a practice that would overlap with us attending the sporting event. The practice is somewhat important because we are learning something new and will be performing it in front of a fairly large audience the next day. My husband said I could go to the practice and miss the sporting event if I wanted to.

    Decision time. Do I go to the practice and know that he will be mad even if he doesn’t say anything or do I go to the sporting event and meet someone I’ve never met and probably will never see again and miss this practice?

    We would also get together with a relative we see every few weeks before the sporting event.

    • Cat

      I feel like I’m missing a step…. why do you think your husband would be mad that you skipped a sporting event that you don’t care about, therefore leaving him time to have fun with his old friend? If so, you have a bigger problem than this literal question.

      FWIW, I’d go to the practice with no guilt.

      • Anon

        Yes I don’t see why this is an issue. Also, it sounds like he wants to go to catch up with a friend. All the more reason for you to do your own thing. If anything, I would meet up with husband and his friend after activities for dinner/drinks.

      • Anonymous

        Yea this. My DH goes to football games without me all the time because he knows I find them boring and gets to hang out with man friends.

      • Anonymous

        1. He’d probably be happier just going with his friend anyway.
        2. It should be a given that you will attend rehearsal unless it’s something like a grandparent’s 90th birthday party. You are committed to the ensemble, you go to rehearsal.

    • Anonymous

      THis sounds like a marriage question and not a “what do I do about this event” question. What makes me sad is that your husband would be angry at you making this choice. Not sad, not disappointed, not wistful because he would have enjoyed doing the thing with you, but . . . mad. I am sorry about that.

      I wish you had the kind of marriage where you could easily say “we’re going in separate directions this weekend to do our own things — won’t it fun to get back together and tell each other how it went. Can’t wait to hear all about the game; hope you have fun with your friend.”

    • Doodles

      I’m struggling to see the problem here…. do you and your husband never partake in separate activities? Why would he be mad that you skipped this event? Seems like he has someone else to go with (relative? old friend?)

    • Anonymous

      Do you think he wants to spend time with you or meet his friend, or do you think he may be resentful of your success in this activity?

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, all. OP here. I know this seems like it should be a no brainer. I’ve been working on trying to set boundaries and do more things for myself. Historically, no, I was not “allowed” to do much of anything without him. I should be doing things with the family or for the family. Sometimes it helps to get outside perspective on things that come easily to others as I realize how out of touch I have been with how others live. I’ve recently been putting together how controlling and isolating he has been.

      • Anon

        I’m so sorry to hear all of this. It’s good you’re recognizing it now. This is a form of abuse.

      • Anon

        I understand why you asked the question. It’s hard to start setting boundaries or doing activities that might feel “selfish” at first. Practicing these skills by going to the practice will hopefully feel empowering to you!

        Also just validating that your suspicion is correct— this is not normal behavior or what happens in a healthy marriage. And in case you need it— your wants and needs are so important, and attending to those doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your family or doing anything wrong.

        I hope you’re safe and can find a better balance (either inside the marriage if that’s possible and safe for you, or some other way).

        • Vicky Austin

          +1 to all of this. Keep us posted, OP; we’re a pretty good gut check taken all together, and we’re rooting for you.

      • Cat

        Oof, I’m sorry to hear that. Yes, that type of attitude from a spouse is unusual and wrong and a form of emotional abuse.

      • anon

        I’m so sorry, OP. When you’re in the thick of things, it’s hard to see what is wrong with a situation like this. You are right that your husband is controlling and frankly this is abusive behavior. I hope you are able to get some help for yourself. You don’t have to live this way.

    • Chl

      Oh my. Agreed. This would be a ridiculous thing for your husband to be mad about.

    • Anon

      The real issue here is that your husband is being passive aggressive and telling you he’s fine with you missing the sporting event and then holding it against you. I know this phrase is overused here but this is a husband problem, not a scheduling problem.

      • HFB

        Yes, the saying one thing (“it’s fine if you miss sporting event”) but acting in contradiction to that is the biggest problem that jumped out at me in this whole situation. Assuming OP is reading the situation correctly, It’s not just that he’d be mad, it’s that he’d set you up like that by saying it’s ok with him when it’s not. (It’s also problematic that he would be mad but it’s worse that he’s being passive aggressive about it).

    • Senior Attorney

      This wouldn’t even be a question for me. I’d go to the practice and not give it a second thought.

      And I heartily cosign “this is a marriage issue that needs to be addressed.”

    • Anonymous

      I don’t accept passive aggressive nonsense. He said it was ok to skip. I would skip. I would thereafter refuse to listen to complaints, apologize, or feel guilty. You want me to attend? Put on your big boy pants and say so.

    • ANON

      My 23 year marriage works BECAUSE we spend time separately and there is no jealousy. Only issue was his family thinking that I should spend so much time with them but he never cared if I skipped yet another third cousin’s birthday bash.

  7. Follow up to yesterday's dog post

    Most of you said she was NTA about having a neighbor with a puppy whom she crates 12+ hours a day who barks the entire 12 hours (I think she said 7am-7pm or so), especially as she works from home.

    Some of you did say she was in the wrong for contacting the office though. It makes me think, what is or isn’t fair to expect for noise when living in a space with shared walls (townhouses, apartments, condos, etc.)? Where do you draw the line between rolling your eyes and deciding you need to deal with headphones if it bothers you versus it is their problem and you let someone know?

    At a time when more people are working from home, sleeping later (due to less or no commute), and the like, and fewer people can afford to buy or rent a house, what are the rules here?

    • anon a mouse

      Does your city have noise ordinances, or does your condo/apartment have noise restrictions? If so, I’d look to those. A puppy barking for 12 hours is annoying, but it’s not that different than if your neighbor was doing a renovation and had hammering or other construction noise. During daytime hours I don’t think you have much standing to complain (even though yes it is annoying!). But at night or especially overnight, I would have very little patience for it.

      • Anonymous

        I disagree that a dog barking is comparable to construction work. Construction ends at some point, there’s no guarantee that this dog will stop barking. There’s also an empathy element – it’s much more distracting to hear an animal in distress than to hear hammering.

        I would say the dog barking is more like a baby crying. Yes people have lives and sometimes those lives are noisy. But also it shouldn’t be constant noise for 12 hours straight – and if it is then they need to go to a doctor or something. And proactively apologize to the neighbors so no one calls CPS.

    • Anon

      I’d like to know the answer to this too. I live in apartments and I’ve never complained about noise during the day because I feel like I can’t. My new neighbor though plays some kind of electric guitar/bass guitar with an amp for several hours some days after work and that might break my no complaining stance. It’s more than just noise, it’s like I can feel it inside my body, so headphones won’t work. But…is a guitar player just SOL if they live in an apartment? Surely not. I haven’t said anything to management because I feel like there’s probably nothing they can do.

      • anon

        A guitar player can play quietly without an amp. My former nanny was a musician, and she practiced on her guitar and wrote music in our 1100 square foot apartment while the baby was asleep. He’d sleep for hours.

        If you want to play with an amp, you rent a rehearsal space. She did that too, after work.

    • Anon

      Yesterday’s post was not just about the noise bothering OP, I was distressed to read about a new puppy being locked in a cage for 12 hours a day, that’s animal cruelty. I’d find repetitive noise annoying but I’d find incessant puppy barking heart wrenching and difficult to ignore.

      My neighbours were sawing bricks (high pitched grinding noise) so I went to see them to find out how long it would be happening for, then I could plan to be out until they were finished. My other neighbours have a gardening company who use a leaf blowers to make them look busy and it serves no purpose which really pushes my buttons so I make plans to go out every second Thursday afternoon. I’d like to make petrol powered leaf blowers illegal but I know I can’t, so I have to deal with it.

      • anon Californian

        In case you’re up for writing to your elected officials, banning gas-powered leaf blowers is a thing. Palo Alto, California has banned their use for many years. California has passed a law banning the sale (but not the use) of gas-powered leaf blowers starting in a few years.

        Gas-powered leaf blowers are really, shockingly bad for the planet, in addition to the health impacts on the workers who use them and others who are nearby.

        • Anon

          Californians are so progressive, this is great to hear. Good idea, I will, thanks!

    • Suburbs

      This is so situation dependent I think it is hard to have a rule. But in general:
      (1) What time is the noise? Obviously 6 am and 6 pm are not equivalent.
      (2) How long does it last? A dog that barks occasionally at people walking by is not the same as a dog that barks or howls nonstop for hours. Putting up a picture or even a day or two of construction is not the same as remodeling that lasts for weeks. I don’t mind my neighbors playing loud music at a Saturday night party as long as it is over by midnight (which is in line with my local noise ordinance). If they did it every night, I would complain bitterly.
      (3) How reasonably can it be addressed? If someone want to play loud music at all hours, they can wear headphones. A dog (especially a puppy) should not be crated for 12 hours. Your friend does not need to lean on their horn when they pick you up at 5:30 am. And yes – people who play an instrument need to arrange practice space if they live in an apartment. However, a crying baby is a crying baby. Someone who works the swing shift cannot help walking around/showering etc. when someone else might be trying to sleep. Sometimes repairs have to be made and they make noise.
      (4) How loud is it? I am a fan of white noise machines and I have lived upstairs from someone who repeatedly complained about me walking around my apartment late at night in bare feet. That was ridiculous. Some apartment walls are so thin that even moderate talking and TV can be heard through the walls. That is just the price of communal living. However, if you are playing your music so loud my walls are shaking (especially if you are not throwing a party – you just like loud music) I am going to raise holy h*ll.
      (5) And finally, where do you live? I was once a student in student apartments. I now live on a suburban cul-de-sac in a townhouse. The noise levels that were acceptable at the first would definitely not be OK in the second.

      • ANON

        Does a high school student have to rent a place to practice their trumpet an hour or so each night? I would say listening to that is just apartment living.

        • Suburbs

          I was responding to the poster above about the neighbor with the amp several hours every day. My fault for not being clear.

          My next-door neighbors’ kid plays the piano for about an hour every afternoon and the unit I share a wall with as a teenager who plays the drums about three times a week. But neither of them are playing for more than about an hour and they’re not using amplification so in my view that falls within the“just deal with it“ category as opposed to the “complain about it“ category.

          But if you want to play with amplification or if you are a professional musician who needs to be practicing for hours day and night, then yes. I think you should get practice space. I know when I was in college the dorm required it (but then of course college students have pretty good access-at least where I went to school).

    • Anonymous

      I think there is a difference in something easily controllable (blasting a stereo) vs. not (kids screaming, dog barking). Note the post wasn’t about normal dog barking though — it was due to a dog being left alone for longer than it should that needed help vs sporadic barking when they would leave or squirrels ran by. Even the blasting a stereo thing depends. I would be more inclined to complain if it were regularly blaring of music for pleasure vs. say a roofer playing a stereo too loud for a day or two while working on a project.

    • Anonymous

      While the rules about what noise when are a bit blurry, the one rule that is crystal clear to me is that YATA if you go to management or police before ever speaking to the neighbor. In moat instances, I’d talk with them multiple times before complaining elsewhere.

  8. Anon

    I need more work pants. I have bought the pants I love most in navy, charcoal, and black (double on the navy). The only other color they come in is like a dark olive. How do you wear your olive pants? Would I be hopelessly out of style? I have no idea.

    I do have a jacket, a sweater, and a print blouse that are more olive toned. I’ve been wearing these with the navy or charcoal but color wise they’d look better with the olive pants. Not sure whether that would be too much.

    • anon

      Eh, how about getting a duplicate color of navy, charcoal or black? Do you really need another color in the mix? The versatility of olive really depends on the colors of your tops. I ask that because I wear a lot of navy, charcoal and black bottoms with cooler-toned tops that would look not great with warmer olive shades.

      • Anon

        Interesting you mention cool tones. I’ve had my colors done twice, both times by people who know what they’re doing. They both said somewhere between summer and fall. I have features of both (neutral to cool skin, warm hair, cool eyes). So I do have some warmer toned tops, like the warm side of pink, and the olive mentioned. But I also have cool toned tops.

    • Anon

      I wouldn’t wear olive with olive. I’d wear olive with cream or cranberry. If it’s not a super dark olive, you could wear it with navy or black tops too. I find olive pretty versatile and I don’t think it’s dated or anything.

      • Cat

        +1

        I wear olive with hot pink, cream, black, navy, and charcoal. Chambray for casual.

        Olive with olive seems like a Super Matchy Look – could work in a very intentional way only.

      • Vicky Austin

        My wardrobe is cram-jam full of navy and maroon/cranberry shades which go beautifully together, so see what navy-coordinating items you have that can make the jump to olive.

      • Anon

        Agree with Anon at 3:20. I have a pair of olive MMLF Foster pants and I get tons of compliments when I wear them with cranberry, lavender, blush, cream, bronze/golds – it depends on the exact color of olive but I would look for pieces in those families.

      • Senior Attorney

        I’ll do light olive with dark olive if there is enough contrast.

        Beyond that, I adore olive and wear it with All the Colors and also it looks great with leopard.

    • anonshmanon

      I have no idea what’s out of style, but I love my olive pants. They go with all kinds of red and pink shades, as well as mustard and some greens, and of course white.

    • Anonymous

      There’s nothing “out of style” about the color olive. I’d wear olive with black, ivory, cream, blush, navy, blue, or gray. I don’t like olive with warm tones like chocolate brown (too “fall forest” for my taste). But you can wear it. Just about the only thing I wouldn’t wear olive with is your olive jacket or sweater, unless you’re really confident in your ability to wear adjacent colors.

    • nuqotw

      Following because I love olive and also have this question.

      I like olive with navy blue or cream colored tops and gold/gold toned jewelry even though that seems very understated and like a lot of neutrals all at once.

      I’ve been considering an olive suit with Quince’s magenta silk tee but haven’t had the nerve; I’m happy for this board to tell me what to do.

    • Anon

      I love my olive pants. I wear them with black, white, taupe, mustard and all the blues from pale to navy.

      • Anon

        I love my olive pants. I wear them with black, white, taupe, mustard and all the blues from pale to navy.

        • Anon

          I’m OP and during the time I was hemming and hawing, the pants sold out! Haha. I will keep stalking them, probably on resale sites too.

  9. Duvet

    I’m looking for a wonderful pillowy comforter/duvet with a cover that is machine washable and also attaches to the blanket. Is there such a thing? Open to all price points. Thanks!

    • Aunt Jamesina

      I’m confused by the wording of your request. Do you want a duvet/comforter and a duvet cover? Because I’ve only ever seen those sold separately, not together. Any duvet you like and a duvet cover with inner ties should fit the bill. To me, real down is the most “pillowy”, although I don’t have a rec since mine is no longer sold.

    • Anon

      Avoiding the word duvet because people find it confusing. My down comforter is from

      https://www.thewhitecompany.com/us/

      It is European down, 90% down 10% feather, and I have the “warm” one. It’s very fluffy. If you want to re-fluff your comforter, you can shake it or put it in the dryer with wool dryer balls or tennis balls.

      My comforter cover is a very basic 100% cotton one from IKEA that I bought because I like the color.

      So – spend on the insert, save on the cover.

      • Anon

        To answer your question about attaching. Some comforter covers have ties at the inner corners to catch your comforter, and some comforters have corner loops to enable this. Since not all of my covers have had this, I bought clips online to keep them connected, and this is the most secure solution, although the comforter really tends to stay in place if the cover is the right size.

  10. anon

    How do you deal when your boss is too busy to give you any real feedback on anything? I’m just doing what I can and not worrying too much about whether she approves of it or not. But it’s really frustrating to be busting my tail on a couple of huge projects right now and hearing basically nothing from her. In the past, she’s wanted to review this type of stuff, hence why I’m sending it her way (with deadlines).

    It’s pushing my buttons for reasons other than needing her sign-off. She doesn’t truly understand the type of work I do (just sees the end results and not the process), and this is just a reminder of that frustrating dynamic, in addition to feeling under-appreciated in general.

    • Pompom

      As a boss that is currenty drowning, I worry so much that I’m like your boss right now. I hate that. I don’t want to be that way at all, ever, but there are reasons. If one of my direct reports came to me during a 1:1 and said “Hey, could we spend a little time digging into XYZ project, what I’m doing at the moment, and how I can proceed successfully? Having your feedback and involvment on certain aspects of this works both helps you stay in the loop and me stay motivated/engaged” I would JUMP at the chance to have that conversation, and think very highly of that person for being the leader there and managing up. If you don’t have regular 1:1s, then start by asking for a check in and then make this ask.

      I have often felt this same exact way about my own boss, and when I have tried this, it’s been a great reminder that people are motivated/stay engaged for very different reasons (so, if you need the visibility and appreciation from her, awesome! she might not need that, though, and not see that it’s your need), and that she’s probably aware that there are things she’s missing/could do better on. Advocating for your needs is the only way she’s going to know and be able to do better, absent some major shift in her level of busyness.

      You got this! Keep rocking your work.

      • Anonymous

        I 100% agree with this post. I have also had intense periods of business and a lot of direct reports and that leaves very little time to give feedback.

    • Anon

      I just do it, keep records of my achievements and pat myself on the back. You are obviously trusted and doing a good job.

  11. Anon

    I am interviewing to become federal magistrate judge. Has anyone done this before? Any sense of the types of questions they might ask?

    • Anon

      Congrats that’s awesome! I also have no advice but just wanted to say what a great opportunity this is. When I was a baby lawyer I appeared in front of a federal magistrate judge a few times. He had a reputation as being really smart and fair and he was also by all accounts a really nice person who was very compassionate with the awkward, terrified junior associate arguing discovery disputes in front of him :) I’m no longer a lawyer but this judge is one of the few things about legal practice that I think back on very fondly.

    • Anonymous

      Congratulations! I am a former MJ career clerk. I would be very clear on what MJs v. DJs do and why you are excited to be an MJ specifically to show you are not trying to use this to get to be a DJ. In our district it can feel like grunt work (discovery disputes, social security cases), but some people really like those and excel at those. Oh also our MJs do settlement conferences in all civil cases.

    • Pickled Gherkins

      Congratulations on being selected for an interview! It sounds like this is the panel interview? I’ve served on a merit selection panel in my district so at least can speak based on that experience.

      I expect they will want to hear why you want to be a judge and why you think you’d be a good judge. Think of this question as an opening statement. You may get asked about how you will get up to speed on areas of the law that you’re not familiar with. They may ask about how you will deal with situations involving pro se litigants (who sometimes have mental health issues) and your experience working with people from diverse backgrounds. They may ask about how you would run your chambers, your writing experience, and other questions about your temperament.

      To build on what Anon at 4:51 pm said, it’s good to show interest in the magistrate judge position as it is and not view it as a stepping stone to a district judge position. Some people do think the work is grunt work, but a magistrate judge’s decisions can make or break a civil case, and there’s also a very interesting criminal aspect to the job. So it’s good to show interest in all aspects of the job, even if you’ve never practiced in the area.

      If you have more specific questions, I’ll check back later this weekend.

      • Anon

        Thanks, this is all super helpful. My biggest concern is that I don’t have a lot of experience in the district due to having a more national practice, so I don’t know most of the judges. But hopefully I will get past round one and get to meet them.

  12. Anonymous

    When it comes to leather, I only wear the real deal. There is enough plastic in my wardrobe already with all of the other synthetic fibers, I don’t need to add more. While I don’t currently own any leather pants, I’ll be buying either straight leg or bootcut.

    • Anonymous

      A lot of chemicals go into tanning leather and some are particularly awful as they enter waterways. That’s not the flex you think it is. Neither are remotely great for the environment.

      • Liza

        Yea, if I were to do leather at this point I would probably only do vintage. It’s not a trend I’m THAT excited about to begin with, and there are so many other things to wear.

  13. Anonymous

    Has anyone located in a cold weather area looked into getting a heat pump? What did you decide? Very interested in them thanks to all the talk of being so great for the planet.

    • AnonJD

      Emily Henderson just had a great blog post about this yesterday. It’s definitely the right thing for the planet, especially if you live in an area where your electrical grid is powered by hydro, wind, solar, or other non-fossil-fuel source.

    • Anon

      They’re awesome. I love how low maintenance they are. Where I live electricity is 100% renewable and pretty cheap, so they’re perfect. I was replacing electric heat anyway, so a backup method for power outages already didn’t exist. And frankly it’s just not something I worry about much. Power outages where I live tend to be very short and I’m fine bundling up if I need to.

    • anon

      I’ve looked into it, albeit not super seriously. I’m in Toronto, so we have long cold winters, but there are way colder places out there. You would absolutely need one of the “assisted” pumps that can supplement heat with electricity or natural gas. That increases the already higher-than-a-furnace price. In our area as well, producing heat from electricity is much more expensive than natural gas. As I recall from my research, you are likely to need supplemental heat when the temp is below freezing. It is often often below freezing here. In terms of AC, I’m sure it would work well, but we already barely run the AC so there would be minimal improvement for the environment.

      Until heat pump technology is more advanced, this is not the eco choice I will be making. Top notch insultation and windows is way higher on my list, as well as learning to live with colder room temps in the winter and warmer room temps in the summer…

      • Anonymous

        We’re doing a big home renovation and adding in a heat pump for our second story. However, we live in California and our local electricity grid is all renewable, plus we’re adding solar panels. For us, going all-electric makes a lot of sense and is definitely the eco choice.

    • Anon

      My understanding is that heat pumps work best in areas that don’t get super cold. So the northeast is not a good candidate. I would think it would be best in mid-Atlantic (and further south) and Pacific Northwest type climates, though I’m not an expert.

      • Anon

        I believe that is a dated view, at least for newly installed heat pumps. Perhaps true of older versions.

        My parents installed one and this will be their third winter with it. They love it, it keeps the house temps very steady, and costs so much less for them to run.

      • Anon

        If you’re not an expert you should maybe refrain from commenting :) They work fine even down to 0 and colder.

        • Anon

          I think she has a point. They work fine but at 0 you’re using auxiliary heat and you’ve lost quite a bit of efficiency. My thermostat tells me how much I use per day and it costs a lot more if the temp is 0 vs 30. I can see the auxiliary heat kick on. It’s not just that it’s working harder, it’s that it’s working harder and it’s less efficient due to the colder temp. You wouldn’t know that from the temperature of the house, though.

    • Anon

      I have a heat pump. The new, most efficient types are great – they’re not the heat pumps your parents had. Our new heat pump is cheaper to run than our old oil furnace, in Pennsylvania. If you live where where it gets extremely cold for a long period, like South Dakota, then they often require backup heat which can be more expensive especially if it’s electric . You may have to do math there to see if it’s worth it. There are options for oil or gas backup.

      If I were really serious about the environment though I’d go geothermal.

  14. Anonymous

    I need a new happy lightweight show to get my through the next 2 weeks (well, until election dies down). Any recommendations? TIA!

    • pugsnbourbon

      Derry Girls if you haven’t watched it already. What We Do In the Shadows might not be “light” enough for you but it’s very funny. Selling Sunset or Luxe Listings for soapy reality and dreamy real estate.
      Do you like animated shows? Gravity Falls is a kid’s show for sure but very well done. Centaurworld is a bizarre but lovely animated musical. Over the Garden Wall is beautiful to watch and perfect for this time of year.

    • Anon

      HBO had some great entries in this category this past year: Minx, Sex Lives of College Girls, Hacks. Also they’re older but Superstore and Brooklyn 99 are great if you haven’t seen them.

    • Anon

      Bad Sisters on Apple TV. It starts with a death and a guy a lot of people wanted dead and then the series does current and past scenes to help you figure it out. Despite the dark theme, it’s very fun and often funny, and the whole thing is primarily about sisters and their bond.

      It’s another Sharon Horgan series (we loved Catastrophe) and this time it’s set in her beloved Dublin.

      • anon

        I tried to get into Reboot because so many people recommended it, but I’m just not getting it. I don’t find it funny at all.

        • Anon

          Yeah, I’m with you on this. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t find it very funny and kept finding myself getting bored and looking at my phone. I adore Rachel Bloom and would definitely recommend Crazy Ex Girlfriend, though. Also, Derry Girls and Jane the Virgin, to second some other recs, all on Netflix.

    • Anon

      They’re not all upbeat and light but they are a good escape: Gilmore girls, Jane the Virgin and Buffy.

      • Anonymous

        Jane the Virgin is so good. That always makes me happy. I’ve heard there is another version out now–maybe it was China that did a version? I’d love to see how it’s the same/different.

    • Vicky Austin

      Jane the Virgin is so good. That always makes me happy. I’ve heard there is another version out now–maybe it was China that did a version? I’d love to see how it’s the same/different.

    • anon

      Schitt’s Creek if you haven’t seen it yet. I’ve been rewatching Friends on HBO Max.

    • anon

      Marvelous Mrs Maisel was my discovery of 2022. First 2 episodes were so-so for me, but got hooked from there. It’s funny, it’s smart, it’s timeless.

      • Anon

        I love Gilmore Girls and Bunheads but I just couldn’t get into this show at all.

    • Anonymous Canadian

      Lilyhammer on Netflix is heaven. Not exactly super light but very, very funny. Also Schitt’s Creek, of course. Any season of the Great British Baking Show, and the Canadian version is also delightful. Any number of “cozy” British mystery series (Agatha Raisin, Chelsea Detective, The Madam Blanc Mysteries). Also British – Doc Martin. New Zealand – Under the Vines.

      Can you tell this is one of my coping mechanisms too?

  15. anon

    #TeamGisele

    Sorry, Tom, you screwed this one up. Yet another man who isn’t fully involved in his home life and leaves all the grunt work for his wife.

    • Anon

      This whole thing is so illogical to me. He’s said he’s for sure retiring after this year, so he threw away his life and marriage of more than a decade for…20 more games?! Just so dumb.

    • Anon

      So happy Gisele left him! I know I’m assuming she is the one who initiated but I think it’s pretty obvious. I love to see a woman putting her foot down, expecting a man be an equal partner and leaving when he isn’t.

      • KS IT Chick

        The NPR and Buzzfeed stories both say she filed. I’m glad for her. I haven’t always been her biggest fan, but she deserves an active partner, and their kids deserve parents who are present in their lives.

          • Anon

            I think it was a reaction to KS IT Chick’s comment that “their kids deserve parents who are more present.” Gisele is already present and the divorce won’t necessarily make Tom more present.

          • Anon

            The kids will be better off because one parent will be happier sounds like the kind of advice a therapist gives someone who is thinking of getting divorced. That’s not always the story the kids tell. I don’t think we have any idea how this will work out for the kids.

            I don’t care about football, but I don’t normally go around thinking that e.g. navy captains are just bad parents because they’re not present in their kids’ lives! I also hope they have enough money that no one is getting stuck with “grunt work.”

    • Anon

      I hope she becomes friends with Bridget Moynahan, whom he left when she was pregnant with his first son back in 2006.

      • Anon

        I think they’re already pretty friendly. Maybe they’ll become closer now, but by all accounts they got along very well even when Gisele and Tom were married.

      • KS IT Chick

        I read somewhere that the vacation she took in Central America included Bridget & her son Jack but did not include Tom. Because the women have become cordial co-parents and he is a maroon. *Bugs Bunny Voice* Whadda maroon!

    • Anonymous

      Happy for her that she got out before she gets stuck dealing with the brain damage from a long career in football whenever he eventually retires. And that will probably be the only reason he retires – CTE or dementia

      • anon

        I totally disagree with this like obviously no one knows what’s going on but news says he’s very involved in the six months he’s not working. It seems silly to leave someone who is a good coparent and probably a pretty good husband because they are too focused on their career especially when there’s kids involved

        • Anon

          6 months is a long time to go without a supportive partner and it sounds like they had an agreement he would retire but he went back on his word.

        • Anon

          What is this, 1955? It’s ok to want and expect an equal parent in 2022, even more so one who specifically said he would retire to do that (then reneged.)

          • Anon

            +1 by all accounts it’s the reneging that really upset her. I also don’t think this is just “a career.” Most careers don’t involve getting hit in the head repeatedly and likely developing CTE/dementia in the future. It’s reasonable for her to want him to leave this career.

        • Anon

          Huh? This is an odd take. 6 months is still a long time to be without a co parent.

          As a partnered person, I’d be furious if a family decision was made and my spouse decided to change his mind after I spent years supporting his career. And gave up a lot of mine. It’s pretty clear to me the two of them had a deal/plan and he decided he loved football more than her or keeping his word.

      • Anon

        Yes. Although her leaving him sort of just passes that burden to her children, which I’m sure she’s not thrilled about. (To be clear, not saying she shouldn’t have left him – just saying that if her children are dealing with it, it’s probably going to be an issue for her regardless of whether or not they’re romantically involved.)

    • Anonymous

      agree! I’d buy that shirt, ha. Does anyone else remember team Jen? I reminisced recently about Brad and Jen and got blank looks from my not “that” much younger co workers.

    • Anon

      I do not really know these people but I am going to give her the benefit of thinking she did not blow up her marriage because her husband travels extensively for work and will for the next few months. People get divorced for all kinds of complicated reasons, none of which are any of my business.

      I am just happy to see a celebrity couple who works out their property and custody arrangements amicably, make mutually respectful statements, and do not air their dirty laundry in public to the detriment of their children.

      • ANON

        It seems to be way more than the travel. He went back on his word to a dangerous job that he does not need.

    • Shanananana

      I listened to a really interesting podcast episode on the show scamfluencers the other day about the doctor who has been working with Tom since his early days, and wow did it shine a light on the brainwashing he has been listening to for a very long time and made all of this make more sense and Giselle’s decision even more justified.

  16. Anonymous

    I’m so disappointed… I surprised my photo-loving husband with a mini photo shoot this past weekend. Thought we would frame a couple and maybe send them out as a holiday card (we were debating whether to send some). Just got the proofs back and I absolutely hate them. We were fine/ laughing during the shoot, but 99% of the shots were from the side/profile view. although we are both athletic, apparently we both have huge double chins when smiling and shown from the side. There’s no way I’m sending these to friends or family and honestly I don’t know if I want to frame any. I’m not sure what I’m more bummed about, that the pics turned out the way they did or that now I’m going to question whether I look like a muppet from the side. Ugh.

    • Curious

      Okay that’s extremely frustrating. I’d definitely never go back to that person! I always look like I have a double chin when I smile, even when I weigh 30 lbs less than I do now, and a good photographer never makes that obvious.

    • Cat

      Seeing your other reply (these were the downselected proofs) – maybe as a first step, you contact the photographer and say this? “hey, 90% of the proofs were from the side, do you have others to offer some variety?”

      • Cat

        double posting bc I had another quick thought – if I were the photographer here, I’d want to know and have a chance to fix it, whether through editing some more shots or scheduling a re-do.

  17. Anonymous

    I’m so bummed. My husband and I did a mini fall photo shoot last weekend. We like the photographer; we haven’t worked with her before but our friends have great images from her. We got 20 proofs that she picked as the best images. 2 are ok, but not great – only one of us is smiling in one, the other image is of our backs as we are walking away. We absolutely hate the other 18 images. We’re both athletic, we run a lot of miles so we’re pretty fit…apparently we have huge double chins from a side/profile view when we smile. And all 18 of the other images are from the side/profile view, of us smiling at each other. I know this is a first world problem but I’m super bummed that the only one we would want to frame is of our backs, and neither of us really want to be “side view” in the future.

  18. Anon

    looking for recommendations for vintage jewelry repair and vintage watch repair , not expecting them to be the same person.

    I have a gorgeous vintage necklace, like a collar, with garnets and one piece has come out from the”woven” pattern. it’s heavy and complex and unique so I don’t want to take it to just anyone.

    I also have several watches that really need an old watchmakers love.

    any suggestions based on good experiences are welcome! thank you.

    • Anonymous

      On the off chance that you happen to be in Utah, Fankhauser is great for old watches.

    • Anon

      Do you have a favorite bench jeweler you’ve used for other things? I know mine could handle that. Look for a local jeweler who also sells estate pieces.

      No help on the watch business – sorry.

    • Anon

      You might also ask your favorite jeweler about who they use for watches. I asked at 2 different jewelry stores in town and they both recommended the same person. He was great and reconditioned a few watches for me. I guess I need to ask again, since he has now retired.

  19. Anon

    T shirt help needed, please. I am 5’5′, 138 lbs, a bit short-waisted, a bit rectangle shape except for 34 G bust, which makes many T shirt brands too tight — I am over 50 and don’t feel comfortable in very tight fits. Just lookng for basic tees. v neck, bateau and scoop necks better than crews generally, Suggestions welcome!

      • Anon

        This, and the chest measurement is fairly generous on these. I wear the smaller end of my size range (also with a large chest), and could easily size down even more f I wanted a more fitted look. Also over 50.

      • Anon

        I’ll third the Lands End rec, both the supima cotton and the rib crewneck (I get the long sleeve ones, but I assume the short sleeve ones fit similarly). I’m 5’3″ and also short waisted and rectangle shaped other than a 36DDD bust, so I have a really hard time finding tee shirts that aren’t skin tight or way too long. A petite medium fits me just right. They also hold up really well.

    • Anonymous

      I’m built very, very similarly (but a little taller and heavier) and like the Gap 100% organic cotton vintage v-neck T-shirts. They’re super cheap too – $10 for some colors. I got a large and could maybe have used a medium but I like the looser fit. It is a pretty deep, wide V but doesn’t show cleavage for me. I’m a 32H and usually wear a size 12 on top and 10 on the bottom.

    • Velma

      I am also over 50. I love Fishers Finery cotton blend (70% bamboo/25% cotton)–in my mind, the cotton helps them wash well (no pilling or twisting), but they drape and don’t cling at all. The cut is slightly A-line, and they’re available in scoop and V-necks. They run fairly large. I am taller than you and weigh 150 (smaller bust), and a M is a nice, relaxed fit.

  20. Anon

    Eileen Fisher advice, please?

    I placed my first order of Eileen Fisher. Got several pairs of pants, all of which fit true to size. However, other than a boiled wool pair that I’m keeping, the only ones that drape well (a hemp-cotton knit lantern cut) arrived awfully wrinkled from the packaging, and I’m afraid they will wrinkle even worse when I wear them. The other pairs, although well cut, fit oddly because the fabric is stiff and doesn’t drape well.

    Was I unlucky in my first order? Should I try again?

    • Anon

      I don’t know what fabric you got in the pants, but if it’s the same fabric as their system/crepe ankle pants, the wrinkles will disappear within a few hours of hanging them. I’d probably steam the ones you’re considering so you can really get an idea of what they look like unwrinkled.

      When I travel with my stretch crepe pants, I roll them to pack, hang them up when I get to my hotel room, and have never had any wrinkles to contend with the next day.

      • Anon

        Sorry I just saw that you said hemp. I haven’t tried those. I’d probably read the reviews on the site.

      • Anon

        OP here. Thank you. I don’t think any of the pairs I ordered were from the system capsule. I will try that fabric next time!

    • Anon

      No advice on EF brand, but hemp fibred behave like linen. They wrinkle and never let it go. If you don’t like the wrinkle effect (on this pair of pants), I would choose different material.

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