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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Weird question, perhaps, but: where are your favorite sweatshirts from? Do you find that some bridge that gap between loungewear and outside wear?
I just got this sweatshirt from Athleta in a second color (I now have 4 of their sweatshirts – so cozy, but I think I prefer to air dry them) — but the price still offends me in some deep way every time. I may be too used to $18 Costco sweatshirts, I suppose. (The Orvis ones are so comfortable, but very blah in shape.)
Anyhoo: I'm psyched to see this pictured “drape sweatshirt” from Caslon, of all places — it looks slightly elevated but cozy and washable, and HELLO, it's on sale for $18. Yes please.
It's available in 7 colors in sizes XS-XXL, and 2 colors in plus sizes.
(Also nice: this Sweaty Betty sweatshirt is down to $46 in some colors and sizes!)
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Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Horse Crazy
I currently have 30 meyer lemons and 40 Mexican (key) limes – what can I do with them? We had to strip our trees because they needed to be pruned. Any ideas for using them up? So far, I’ve made a meyer lemon bundt cake, a lemon tart, and lots of margaritas. Btw, highly recommend a meyer lemon margarita!
Anon
Meyer lemon sidecars are also wonderful.
Freeze the juice in ice cube trays so you can have a meyer lemon or lime margarita cocktail this summer.
Make limoncello.
Give some away! People will be thrilled
Anon
I would be eating a lot of homemade mexican food/indian food/thai food that uses these wonderful fruits for fresh bright touch before serving.
And I can’t imagine a more wonderful, small winter gift than a beautiful Meyer lemon and a key lime is a cute bag. Give them to all your friends and neighbors that enjoy cooking. Everyone will smile!
Anon
IDK, most folks I know politely demur when faced with lemons the size of grapefruits. They’re really good, but I do suffer an embarrassment of riches from my tree.
Vicky Austin
I always get a hankering for key lime pie around this time of year.
You can also freeze citrus whole and then bust it out for a meyer lemon margarita out of season like a boss!
Anon
I would make Myer lemon curd and jar it for use over the next year.
BB
Make preserved lemons! Ottolenghi has a recipe for this that you can find.
Anonymous
Lemon ricotta pancakes, risotto with lemon butter, and those lemon bar cookies.
Anon
Meyer lemons are the zucchini of Florida. I go through this every year. Juice and freeze. Make preserved lemons. I make a ton of lemonade and use the peels for limoncello. The lemon bar recipe from Sally’s Baking Addiction is easy and wonderful.
Sunflower
I hear you. My tree yielded 91 Meyer Lemons in the last season before it died in the Texas freezepocalypse of 2021.
Ina’s lemon-yogurt cake. So light and delicious. https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/lemon-yogurt-cake
Microwave lemon curd, which you can freeze. https://kellyneil.com/microwave-lemon-curd-recipe
Martha’s Meyer lemon and cardamom marmalade, which you can also freeze. https://www.marthastewart.com/1526708/meyer-lemon-and-cardamom-marmalade
MJ
Lemon and lime sorbet for sure.
I also make lemon-lavender shortbread and it’s so delish. Recipe is from The Beach House Kitchen and I add even more zest than they recommend. Very bright and fresh.
Anonymous
You can wash and freeze them to use later for zest and juice.
Anon
Ugh accidentally posted on the news post. Sorry – reposting here for discussion.
For those on mental health meds (Lexapro for anxiety in my case), how do you know when it’s time to switch things up? I started with a new therapist a couple of weeks ago and clearly it stirred some stuff up and now I actively feel like I’m losing it. It’s fine, I’m basically functional, I’m not in any danger. It’s just a struggle to make it through the day.
But it’s only been a couple of weeks and I’m reluctant to go on some of the heavier stuff I was on in the past (ability and then rexulti) which were like miracle drugs at the time but also blunted things generally and made me need a lot more sleep. And I’d kill for a klonopin prescription right now but always worry a bit about benzos for obvious reasons.
I’ll talk to my therapist but just – what’s your threshold?
Anon
I have a feeling your therapist may say that feeling the feelings is part of the process. You could ask for v*l*um or X*n*x for those moments. FWIW, I have a script for X and I very rarely use it.
That said… when not in the middle of therapy induced healing pain… I’ve asked for a review of the meds when I notice something off without an obvious trigger. I’m more tired. Lack energy. Foggy brain. Deep depression for a prolonged period of time. Inability to handle xyz daily scenarios bc anxiety is out of control.
Anon
I’d say a beta blocker like propranolol. Not addictive but lowers body anxiety.
OP
That’s an interesting idea that I haven’t tried, thanks.
Anon
I actually found it to be incredibly difficult to come off propanolol. I took a relatively low dose for m*graine for about six months (didn’t help, made me tired and I gained weight), but even though I tapered off, my heart rate would soar at the slightest provocation for several months. It was incredibly unpleasant. I didn’t even feel less anxious while on it!
Anon
That’s extremely atypical.
Anon
Anon @5:21, are you sure? My doctor warned me that it could be dangerous to so much as miss a dose, because the heart would become adapted to it.
(Both times I tried it, I had one or another adverse reaction and never went on it long term, but I remember this as a standard part of the pros/cons discussion both times docs had me try it.)
Anon
That’s considered a rare side effect, and when it happens (and it only happens after long-term use) it fixes itself in 1-2 days.
Anon
It’s good to hear the dangerous effects of quitting betablockers are rare.
I personally got rebound effects after a single dose of propranolol, and my doctor didn’t seem to think this was strange or rare.
Anon
This is hard to answer, because it isn’t clear if you just started the Lexapro or had been on it at one dose for years and now things feel worse.
Because for many of us on SSRIs, when we first start them the anxiety may get worse briefly before it gets better. In that instance, it is very common to use something like Klonopin as a bridge until the SSRI dose gets optimized. You may just need a few more weeks for the Lexapro dose to stabilize, or possibly an increase in the dose. This doesn’t mean you have to go back to abilify or something…
I always say it is never wrong to call your doctor when you notice any significant change for the worse. I mean, you are craving benzos right now in a way that you express violence (kidding… sorta….;) so I think you have reached your threshold.
OP
Thanks. No, I’ve been on the Lexapro for years and weaned off abilify several years ago. Also haven’t taken klonopin since before getting pregnant (three years ago). So it’s a stable situation that became less stable. But it’s also only been two weeks so I’m reluctant to jump to conclusions at the same time as it kind of feels like torture to get through the day right now.
Anonymous
I would try to talk to your therapist sooner than your next session and also talk to whomever is prescribing the lexapro about what your options are. 2 weeks is enough – I think feeling relevant symptoms that long meets diagnostic criteria for, say, a diagnosis of major depression – and if you have been through this before I don’t think you even need that long to know when you’re heading down hill in a way that is just outside the norm for you. You might just need a higher dose of Lexapro, or Klonopin could be a good bridge until you get through the worst of this in therapy. Your therapist might also want to see you more often temporarily if that would be helpful. I know there is kind of a tricky balance to feeling good but also feeling your feelings enough to get something out of therapy, but you definitely don’t need to feel like every day is torture! Hugs to you, anxiety is so miserable.
Anon
Well many of us have to change doses over time. That happens.
I’d still contact my doctor, and meanwhile lean into the things that can help anxiety in the moment – breathing exercises, 5-4-3-2-1 senses, exercise, decreasing caffeine/alchohol, good sleep hygiene, mindfulness/yoga/relaxation method of choice.
When I am totally wound up in the moment, I have been trying the cyclic sighing. So simple. Even just a few times slows things down for me.
Anon
After all our talk about Old Navy yesterday – my best sweatshirts have been from Old Navy! I have a fleece quarter zip that I wear almost every day and am in fact wearing right now.
Ellen
I read an article about Flashdance, as it is now coming up on the 40th Anniversary of the movie! I can’t believe it! I was a baby when it came out and now I love the Flashdance sweatshirts Jennifer Beals wore tho I never saw the movie until college because Dad did not want me to let do stuff like that b/c boys could then get the wrong Idea about me and I could get pregnant in high schoool; besides, I was never the dancer that Jennifer Beals was (and probably still is). She was so pretty and s-xy–I wish I was like her. I think that Flashdance and the music defined us growing up, tho I was to young to really appreciate the movie and the music like people who are mabye 10 years older then me do. I remember that Jennifer Beals got to date the boss and was very sexy then and it was clear he was very happy that he was the one dating her in the end, but it was a very happy ending for all, which is why I like the movie. I think the HIVE should take a poll on whether they like dramatic movies or movies with happy endings like this one. I vote for happy endings!
Anon
Embarking on a 90 minute drive in an hour. What are the best podcasts for that length of trip?
MagicUnicorn
I like Atlas Obscura for road trips. They vary in length, but you can easily binge a few in a row.
Vicky Austin
I like a couple Noble Bloods in a row.
Anon
Snap Judgment – amazing storytelling, some are heavier and some are lighter
Anon
Good one.
Or The Moth, or This American Life
Anonymous
Ultra!
Moose
99 percent invisible – would be about 3 episodes.
dear reader
Revisionist History
Anon
Morbid.
AIMS
Normal Gossip or Stuff You Should Know.
Anon
Really struggling with imposter syndrome and feelings of inadequacy right now, which is not helped by my bad procrastination habits. My confidence is shattered these days. I already regularly see a therapist, I guess I am just looking for tips and techniques on overcoming the feeling like I am about to crash and burn any day now.
Anon
Think about what crash and burn means. It’s not as apocalyptic as you’re imagining. What is the worst that can realistically happen? You lose your job? Ok, and then you collect unemployment and find another job. You have to give up your current living space? Ok, you find a living space you can afford.
None of these are likely to happen. These are the worst case. There isn’t a case where feeling like you’re not good enough for your job leads to anything catastrophic . You would survive. You will survive.
Ellen
I learned about Imposter syndrome at work, and if you have a degree, you by definition cannot be an imposter b/c you are credentialed for your job. Dad only had an MS degree from MIT, and he was able to do the job covertly until he got his PhD, and now he no longer considers himself anything but superior to any imposter. It can happen to anyone, but you will get over it. Good luck to you in the meanwhile!
Chl
Interesting article in this week’s New Yorker about impostor syndrome. The quote that I’m taking away is somewhat along the lines of, you don’t need to get over impostor syndrome, you need more childcare. You might find something to take away for your situation.
Anonymous
When I felt like this, a coach told me that procrastination is a form of avoidance, which is a defense mechanism to anxiety. It literally changed my life. When I properly treated the anxiety with Lexapro, it allowed me to get into work instead of procrastinating, and it also stopped me from constantly feeling like I was about to be disbarred and sent to work at a coal mine in West Virginia because I was useless for anything else. (Note that this is entirely irrational, as I’m also useless for working in a coal mine.)
Anon
Belated thank you for the post on clothes for tall women. I am a shortie, but I have a tall teen daughter (currently 5-8; possibly growing still). ON and Gap have been life-savers, but I appreciate having a longer list of stores now.
anon
Trying to think of places that have more appeal for teens:
American Eagle Outfitters (pants, jeans)
Maurices (pants, jeans)
Athleta
The Buckle (jeans)
Express (jeans, pants)
Other ideas:
J Crew Factory (online)
Loft (good selection online for long inseam jeans and pants)
Anonymous
American Eagle on-line too.
Anon
Aerie, Abercrombie, Lululemon, Athleta, Beyond Yoga, maybe North Face, Topshop, Asos. BR and Loft have talls but are probably too old for her. Designer clothing often runs longer but not as wide in bigger size. I think pants are now easy to find in lengths in many stores, the challenge for me is tops and especially jackets.
Anonymous
ASOS has great jeans for tall people. That’s about the only place I can find jeans for my 6’2” daughter.
Kat
Glad it helped! I didn’t include it because they’re just denim, but Midheaven Denim started as a shop for taller women https://www.midheavendenim.com/collections/shop-tall
thanksgiving anxiety
In addition to the ones already mentioned, Madewell and Aritzia have tall sizes. Aritzia is perfect for 5’8 because their “tall” sizes aren’t really that tall.
Lily
Zara is ridiculously long in pants so maybe that will work!
Anon
Finally! I’ve given notice to my dysfunctional employer and have a job lined up that I’m super excited about! Unfortunately, I don’t have any time off between jobs. Any suggestions on how to clear my head and mentally prepare for a fresh start we while still in the old job? Finances and time are tight so suggestions like a spa day on the weekend is not really in my cards.
Anon
Nothing like a long hike/bike ride in nature to clear my head. Follow with a hearty meal and a light stretching. I would follow with washing hair, body peeling, mani & pedi and then read a book with a glass of wine.
Vicky Austin
+1 – I was going to suggest DIYing a spa day of some kind, and this is that but better.
Anon
Agree. Would plan for A LOT of time in nature (4-6+ hours) on Saturday, followed by a very restful/cozy afternoon and evening. I’m thinking a good book + hearty pasta dish and glass of wine. Sunday would sleep in, plan for a fun brunch with some friends, and then mini spa day at home to feel refreshed/new.
Anon
Plan a 3 day weekend for when you’re able (President’s Day if your employer has that as a holiday, and if not, could you plan one for mid or late April?). It’s not the same as taking time off between jobs, but it’s nice to have something to look forward to!
If you have a local Hand and Stone (I’m assuming other similar chains do something similar, but I do not know) they have last minute deals for massages/facials that are around $60, if I recall correctly. Could you splurge on that or a nice pedicure from a nail place (that will include the foot massage)?
Not sure where you are and what your weather is like, but I’m in PA and it feels like spring today! A nice hike, bike ride, or walk somewhere scenic would be nice. Or, if it is warm and sunny enough, sitting in a park (or yard or deck if you have one!) with a fun drink and a good book would be great! If you’re somewhere cold, I like to turn on the Yule log video on my TV, put on some nice music, light a candle, and enjoy a cocktail or a book for an hour on a Friday night before I meet up with friends. Or, maybe a nice night in with all of that and some takeout.
I love going out for breakfast but never get a chance to do so. I would love to spend a leisurely Saturday morning getting breakfast out.
I cosign the at home spa day suggestions too! A bath or long shower, exfoliation scrub, a facemask, a fun candle, and fun nail polish, and a cocktail or mug of tea.
I’d also want to make sure my apartment is clean and I’ve made a plan for the first few days at the new job. Doing this obviously isn’t fun or relaxing, but I would be much calmer knowing that Monday isn’t going to bring chaos.
AIMS
I was in your shoes not too long ago. I scheduled an early morning blow out on my first day at new job to give myself a “new” feeling. I also scheduled some lunch dates because I was at a place where I actually could take lunch.
Anon
I bought two very full skirts — one midi (one is the tiered tulle one that Boden has) and one full-length (plaid, reverses to solid kelly green). They are so, so, so pretty. And I have no idea how to wear them. Do they even go with a regular person’s life? I think they might go to a fancy party, but I don’t actually have fancy parties or even dinners to go to. They deserve to live a life outside of my closet. Styling help please!
anon
You need to balance out the fullness with a sleek top. I have a bunch of pleated skirts that I wear with either tiny sweaters or spaghetti strap tops plus wedges (if fancy) or sneakers (if casual). The Boden one doesn’t look so formal that you couldn’t grab your friends and go to brunch. Treat it as an excuse to be a lil fancy and channel your inner influencer.
MagicUnicorn
Know your office. In mine you could go very casual on the rest of the outfit (something like a plain t-shirt, denim jacket, and All-stars) and pull off a floofy skirt with no problem.
anon
…where do you work? I want to work someplace where I can wear a tulle skirt to the office.
Anon GC
I work in-house for a retail company (not fashion) and our marketing people would absolutely wear something like this!
Alas I am in legal (and not fashion forward) so I stick with jeans + blazer or wide-legged trousers + cardigan. I really wish I could figure out leg coverings for dresses in 2023. Tights feel too heavy and dated and my legs are not something I want to show uncovered – even if it was warm enough. I assume by fall we are going to be wearing “sheer tights” (which I assume are the same as nude (for you) panty hose?) but I do not feel like we are there yet.
Anon
I swear Kyrsten Sinema is a regular commenter here.
Anon
Politics aside, while I do not love every outfit, I love her style. And I also wear pretty bold things to the office. Life is way too short not to have fun with clothes.
Anonymous
Ha! I find her unwillingness to dress appropriately so disrespectful.
MagicUnicorn
Ha, she is a prime example of why I included that preface!
Anonymous
I just saw a youtube video that might be useful. Not sure if you ever saw the British show “What Not to Wear” but one of the hosts, Trinny, is now a prolific youtuber. She has a video on how to dress down a fancy, big skirt.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=767956887178444
Anon
This is genius. Outside of my price range, but I loved her Prada outfit.
Anonymous
I think the tulle would work in the summer with sandals and a tee. Without more information, no suggestions on the other.
Anon
Could you invite friends over for a dressed up dinner party or dinner out? I love getting dressed up on occasion and also don’t have a life where I have fabulous events to go to, so occasionally we will make plans for the sole purpose of dressing up!
Vicky Austin
I would so come to a party where the dress code was “that thing you love and never get to wear,” just saying.
Anon
That’s actually a nice idea!
Anon
So I have a few big fun skirts, including tulle ones. Start thinking of them like jeans and suddenly everything goes with them. I will wear out to dinner usually. I look at my clothes as meant to be worn and the more fun the better. I also don’t especially care what anyone else thinks as long as I’m in the zone of appropriate (ie., I’ll wear a boring lawyer suit to court but to hell with being dull in my personal life).
Lizbet
Planning a trip to Venice and the Dalmation islands in Croatia in September. Totally frivolous question: any must-gos for shopping? I’m using Google’s trip planner to put places on the map and having fun fantasizing…
Cat
FWIW, I had a ball in Venice but didn’t find it to be a big shopping destination. The shops near the tourist locations are just overflowing with tchotchkes – masks, paperweights made of not-really-Murano glass, etc – and even the actual island of Murano felt gimmicky. (My style is pretty simple and tailored, so the super ornate and colorful glass, while amusing to see, isn’t anything I’d want as a souvenir.) I did pick up a pair of lace earrings in Burano, though!
thanksgiving anxiety
I’m not a souvenir person but I’d take advantage of the conversion rate + VAT return and hit the Celine store in Venice
Anon
I got a colorful glass necklace in Murano that I like. My style is simple too, but the necklace is a fun pop of color on otherwise neutral outfits. But I agree, I don’t think of Venice as a Shopping Destination.
Anonymous
Ooo, how are you getting from Venice to Croatia? We’re going to Venice and Istria in Croatia in early April. We had hoped to take the ferry, but it looks like it won’t be running yet. No advice re: shopping as I will be with my 10 year old son, although my Lonely Planet guidebook has some interesting recs for things like printmakers, bookbinders, and other artisans that appeal to me.
Anon
Not OP but a lot of Adriatic coast cruises leave from “Venice.” But it’s often not really Venice, it’s the big cruise port in Ravenna, which is a couple hours away and closer to Bologna (which I vastly prefer to Venice, although I know others disagree).
Lizbet
We are flying from Venice to Split (changing planes in Rome, unfortunately). Then will take ferries down to Hvar, Korcula and Dubrovnik.
AIMS
Maybe not what you had in mind but I love the bookshops in Venice, specifically Librarie Acqua Alta … they have resident cats and a ton of really cute prints. In general, I got some of my favorite artwork – both -rings and original – in Venice in various little shops etc., so that’s what I would buy if I went back.
Anon
any recs for a cleanser that I can buy at Sephora? My skin has been crazy dry this winter, I have mild hormonal acne that comes and goes and some issues with clogged pores. Ideally would keep it around $20.
Anonymous
I really like the Korres greek yogurt cleanser, I find it to be very mild and not drying. I’ve also liked the Farmacy ultra gentle cleanser, and the First Aid Beauty cleanser is good and may be a little cheaper.
Anonymous
I’d skip the Sephora stuff and go for basic Cetaphil — or look into one of those bloggers who talks about the pH levels of things. I think you want a really really mild one and I wouldn’t pay $$$ for it.
Anon
+1
OP – I have your skin. I stick with the simple ones my derm recommends like Cetaphil, but when I feel like things are really dry in the winter I go back to the old Ponds cream cleanser.
AIMS
+2
Anonymous
Get a balm cleanser, avoid foaming.
Anon
+1 the Clinique one is fine, I’d look and see if any of their asian import brands offer one. Foaming cleansers and even gel cleansers are going to exacerbate dryness.
The Inkey List makes an Oat Balm Cleanser but it’s just not as good as the thicker ones that come in a tub.
Anon
Cerave SA is what you want. I have the same skin, and it doesn’t destroy the moisture barrier. Finish with Gernier Moisture Rescue gel in the pink colorway (more moisturizing than the green).
CR
I have super sensitive skin (even Cetaphyl irritates it). My go-to is Ursa Major Milky Cleanser.
https://a.co/d/9Y8SZD7
Anon
My reactive, blessed-with-hormonal-acne-at-39 skin loves Bioderma Sensibio/Crealine micellar water. It removes all make-up,doesn’t irritate and doesn’t clog anything. I follow with washing face with clean water (optional). They do sell a small 100ml travel size (at least in EU), you can use it as a trial and if you like it, I would buy the bug 500ml version. They often run promotions 2 for the price of 1 or similar, which is when I stock up.
Anonymous
Drunk Elephant Beste No. 9 jelly cleanser.
Anonymous
What’s everyone eating and drinking tonight? If you’re going out share the menu so we can live vicariously through you!
anon
Pizza, as I do 9 times out of 10 on Friday nights. Would love a beer, too.
anon
Same. I don’t enjoy cooking so I give myself a break on the weekends.
Vicky Austin
We have a steakhouse gift card from Christmas to use up, so I’m looking forward to steak and maybe some of the really good mac n cheese!
Anonymous
Old favorite restaurant with some girlfriends. Love the crispy rice apps.
https://momoyanyc.com/chelsea.html
ChiAnon
Making Chicken Provencal from this recipe, and drinking some of the leftover wine!
https://themodernproper.com/chicken-provencal
Anon
Rotisserie chicken. Long live Costco.
Anon
Grabbing happy hour at a favorite pub with a friend. Will likely get a lager or a glass of cab and we will probably split some fries. I work FT and am in grad school PT, so I usually get happy hour out with friends and then come home to do HW. I will probably make brownies (my contribution to a Super Bowl party on Sunday) and have that (and maybe some sushi takeout?) while I study.
IL
Unlimited movie theatre popcorn and coffee at the local arthouse movie theatre. I just bought an annual membership and am so excited to go see my first film as a member!
Anonymous
Grilled chicken (oregano/garlic marinade), pitas, roasted cauliflower with lemon and cumin, cabbage, and hopefully one other veg, hummus.
Anon
Homemade zucchini and burrata pizza. It’s a Dinner A Love Story recipe I found via Cup of Jo (speaking of this morning’s thread). I use store bought crust so it’s super easy.
Liza
Cooking spaghetti and meatballs at home. It’s my go-to when I’m in the mood for pizza but don’t want to spend $60 and want to eat just a little bit healthier. I think they’re sort of in the same genre.
Anon
Miso maple salmon + roasted rainbow cauliflower (purple/orange/green).
Simple all on a sheet pan at 400. I put the cauliflower on first because it takes longer, while the salmon marinates a bit. So simple and healthy.
All from Trader’s but made fresh, but I bought the Miso from Whole Foods I think.
Anon
https://www.sliverpizzeria.com/
today’s pizza at the Oakland location is corn, baby spinach mixed with caramelized onions, mozzarella, bulgarian feta cheese, parmesan cheese mixed with fresh herbs, garlic olive oil, and limes. There are three locations near me (I’m in South east Berkeley) so we just pick up from the place offering a pizza of the day we like best.
It’s a knockoff Cheeseboard pizza style place. They also include a fresh herb green sauce to put on the pizza that is pungent and spicy and I could eat it with a spoon.
here’s a recipe intended to replicate the original Cheeseboard green sauce
https://honestlyyum.com/16898/the-cheeseboards-papi-chulo-sauce/
KS IT Chick
We had tamales that we get through a local grocery store.
Anonymous
My dinner was a bag of fruit snacks eaten while driving 180 miles home from a business trip. My family ate the delicious butter chicken that I left for them in the freezer. After I muster the energy to unpack my suitcase I may enjoy a beverage. Sigh.
OOO
Cross post: Anyone here move from working in government to consulting? How did it go? I have been working in state government on Medicaid policy for several years, and think consulting may be a next step for my career once LO is a bit older and I feel comfortable traveling more.
Anonymous
Did anyone else see the story in the NYT about the accommodations Fetterman is getting in Congress?
HOW many octogenarian senators do we have and they didn’t have closed captioning or audio-to-text transcription before this?!
Anon
I suspect Sen Fetterman is more engaged with the day-to-day as he learns the ins and outs of the Senate rather than delegating it all out to staff as the elderly Senators who have been there forever likely do.
Lily
I think it’s great. I also see a difference between people who have an actual disability or serious health event vs. people who are just old. The old people can wear hearing aids or get glasses…
Anon
Ouch Lily…
Actually, hearing aids and wearing glasses are all due to actual disabilities. They are just so common, that many of us have decided they are acceptable enough we don’t see them as such.
There is so much discrimination against people with the more serious or visible (or invisible…) or challenging disabilities that it is actually really important that people understand this.
Trixie
But they should have! They are too old to know that there are technologies that can help them! Do you remember the Mark Zuckerberg hearing oh so many years ago when some very old senator asked MZ how FB made money if it was free? He looked stunned, and said “we sell ads!” These are the people who are voting on tech legislation who know nothing about it. I think it is great Fetterman is using these technologies…makes him more competent. I use closed captioning all the time when I watch series–makes those accents easier to understand.
Anon
Are you criticizing the fact that he’s getting these accommodations???
Anne-on
No, it read to me as shock that these weren’t already in place! I’m thrilled he’s getting and publicly using these accomodations. My child (and many people!) have auditory processing issues and close captioning is amazingingly helpful as is captioning on pre-recorded videos and live speech.
Anonymous
Sorry I’m OP – absolutely not criticizing, accomodations for all!
Just think of all the people who might have needed it but didn’t want to speak up… and all the people who didn’t even know they needed it. (Says the lady who started watching shows with closed captioning for my APD son and now find it hard to watch anything without CC.)
Anon
I also find it very hard to watch shows without closed captioning lately.
Anon
SAME. And it drives my husband nuts. We don’t have a good compromise.
Anon
I also watch everything with CC. I think some of this is just advances in technology. It’s gotten much more possible to do close to real time automatic transcribing that’s pretty decent just in the last year or two. Before that, it would have had to be done manually, which would be a lot slower, so it wouldn’t work as well for real time interactions.
Anon
Oops, said a word that sent me to mod, so reposting:
I also watch everything with CC. I think some of this is just advances in technology. It’s gotten much more possible to do close to real time automatic tr*nscribing that’s pretty decent just in the last year or two. Before that, it would have had to be done manually, which would be a lot slower, so it wouldn’t work as well for real time interactions.
Anon
I am also not clutching my pearls that disability accommodations were made for Fetterman. This should be non-noteworthy at every workplace!
Anonymous
+1000%
Anonymous
I think that’s because he’s actually trying to do the job, unlike most of the oldsters.
Anon
I need good thoughts please. I’m looking to pivot from my field to a policy related job in my field (like Congressional relations in DC) and I’m filling out a big application this weekend! These roles are rare and I’m jumping at the opportunity to apply.
Anon
Good luck! You can do it!
Vicky Austin
Vibes!!! Good for you for taking the chance!
Carolina
I want to upgrade my house, like the fanciest hotel you’d ever stay in.
If money was no object, what would you do?
If money was an object, then what?
Dream with me, Hive!
Sunflower
Heated towel racks. Two dishwashers.
Anon
His and her bathrooms.
Cat
I’d take the daily maid and the room service over physical improvements, but on a doable budget, wouldn’t mind radiant heat floors in the kitchen and bathrooms… and on the unlimited? a (private) pool / hot tub‘ sauna complex ;)
Anonymous
If you live in a cold place, heated bathroom floors.
Anon
One of those walk-in closets like you see on TV, but with interior doors in sections so everything doesn’t have to be perfectly organized. I would love to have a center set of drawers, table height, accessible from all sides with the top shallow drawer for jewelry with a glass top so I can see it. Probably lit from within. My closet sections would also light up when I opened the doors.
I want a chaise longue in there, possibly with a mini fridge and a good reading light, and a do not disturb on the door.
This closet would open into my own bathroom that I do not have to share with my husband or kids.
Anon
I love this.
Anon
Well, for me hotels are mostly for sleep/end of the day. So I would have the most luxurious mattress, pillows, sheets, towels, skin care. An excellent shower. Agree with the heated bathroom floors. Wonderful robe, lounge wear that I would change into as soon as I arrived. Always filled with beautiful flowers, candles, smells.
Beautiful sounds system. Nice TV that can be hidden. A really comfortable couch.
Someone who cleans all of this, shops for all of this, and cooks my heart’s desire.
Anon
A small house, designed from the site up. Light, playful, high quality, but simple finishes, not too big. Plenty of bookshelves. Colorful and the kind of place where you never stop seeing something new about it no matter how long you’ve lived there. Just the right mix of high design and kitsch (and probably a conversation pit).
AIMS
Best mattress, pillows, sheets, blanket, etc., all in crisp white.
Also really good lighting, everywhere.
Blackout shades and custom window treatments.
Cucumber water in one of those beautiful glass containers.
Great towels. Including a ton of plush little white wash clothes, neatly rolled in a basket for drying instead of a single hand towel (to be thrown into another nice basket under the sink for re-washing).
If money was an object, I would focus on good lighting because I feel like good lighting makes everything else look better. You can find reasonably good sheets, pillows and towels on sale and at places like Homegoods.
Anonymous
Separate fridge and freezer both built to look like cabinets. Kick-toe central vacuums (see Skinnytaste’s kitchen tour.). Heated bathroom floors. If you’re building plan for sconces and security wires. I would not do double height anything but the taller your ceilings can be the better. 11’ at least. Library /coffered ceilings. A kitchen sink big enough to wash a cutting board in. Windows in every room. House door or whatever (side door that isn’t thru garage.) if we’re really talking dream, every person in house would have a suite of rooms (bedroom, bathroom, sitting room/library/playroom/whatever) for themselves. Surround sound movie theater with those leather recliner seats with cup holders. Conservatory or sunroom for plants.
I have ideas!!!!
Anon
Absolutely fabulous soft furnishings
Hand painted chinoiserie wallpaper
Persian rugs. Kilims.
Stunning art.
Murano glass chandeliers
Walk in wardrobes
Toto toilets
Antique clocks
Anon
Library
En-suite toilet in each bedroom
Anonymous
For me, hotels are just a place to sleep, so not something I aspire to in a home, but if money were no object I would build a replica 18th century saltbox and make it look period authentic with everything modern hidden from first glance.
Since money is an object, if I were looking to upgrade my bedroom I would buy a new top of the line mattress, down duvets, fresh coat of paint, new curtains, things like that.
pugsnbourbon
“a replica 18th century saltbox”
Muah. Chef’s kiss. Absolute perfection. This sounds amazing and I hope you win the Powerball so you can do that.
Anon
I just splurged on the four seasons bed – you can buy their mattress, sheets, duvet, etc. directly from the company. It makes our bedroom a 5 star hotel room. It’s expensive, yes, but in my view we spend 1/3 of our life in bed so I don’t mind spending money there. Highly highly recommend.
Anon
Your attitude is a wonderful way to enjoy your life.
Anon
🥰
MagicUnicorn
Windows windows everywhere, with natural light galore.
Anonymous
I love the wine country houses available for rent at the Carneros Inn. Just build me one of those! Or you could duplicate the bathroom in the barns at the Farmhouse Inn in Sonoma. Or build me a larger version of the barn. IRL, I bought a beautiful framed mirror from one of the suppliers the Farmhouse Inn designer used.
Poster with the depressed husband
Thursday’s poster with a depressed husband update: I took your advice and asked my husband to let me make an appointment for him with a therapist. Turns out he’s just been trying to hide his symptoms from me because he didn’t want me to suggest therapy and he doesn’t think he needs to go. I feel awful that he felt he couldn’t come to me when he was down and also upset and hurt that he won’t try to address it
Anonymous
For what it’s worth, I am sorry and I hope things improve for you.
Anon
Will he go see his primary care doctor about it instead?
Maybe a medication is the right thing for him, and he might be willing to try that with a push.
He certainly wouldn’t be the first man to refuse therapy. Most men do in my family, but they respond well to medication. And sometimes, medication is the doorway to starting therapy and/or other lifestyle modifications.
These are extremely hard discussions for you… for anyone…. I know, unfortunately. Only you can decide if you are willing to finally say to him….. I can’t continue to keep living like this. I love you, but it is killing me, and killing our relationship….. or what ever you feel.
Paris physio recs
Long shot but does anyone have recommendations for a physiotherapist in Paris? It’s for my MIL who is 79 and fell off an outdoor bike last year. She’s doing ok pain wise but lost a lot of muscle and suffering posture issues as a result. looking for someone who ideally can do a mix of massage and rehab core exercises to strengthen her core muscles again.
I’ve found that physiotherapists with experience in sports physiotherapy (rehabilitating injured athletes) do this best – at least in other countries I’ve lived in, as the focus is on regaining strength and function, but not sure where to start in Paris.
She is in the 5th if it matters, but she can get anywhere mobile within central Paris.
Anon
Interesting. I’m in the US and have a lot of experience with rehab here, particularly with the elderly. First, I am surprised you don’t call her doctor and ask them to prescribe PT and possibly OT in the home for her, which is easily covered here and it was my understand was also covered in France. The therapists that come to the house for patients like your relative are very experienced with the functional/balance/core issues you mention, as optimizing those are critical to prevent falls – the deadliest complication for most of us with aging. And actually here, therapists who do sports PT are not the best choice for seniors, who commonly have issues with chronic arthritis/back/joint/cardiopulm issues which are completely different that the typical young health sports medicine patient. The goals are completely different.
But at the age of 79, if she is so mobile that she is able to easily travel anywhere in central Paris on her own, honestly it is great for her to keep being active and go out for therapy if she prefers. But then she will have to pay for it herself, right? You are asking about private therapists?
OP
She’s had a few physical therapists – both prescribed and self-pay (she has EU insurance so most options are covered) but it’s a bit of a matter of fit. She was still swimming for the first few months bc they didn’t find the fracture in the first few X rays and MRIs. Then once they found a hairline fracture the doctor forbade exercise for two months, so that probably didn’t help on the muscle front. The main issue we are seeing is that she has aged very rapidly, her posture and general well-being is so very terrible compared to six months ago when she had the accident.
She didn’t like the PTs she had bc they were too strenuous, felt too commercial and money-grabbing rather than like a proper healthcare setting (her words not mine), tried to sell her stuff, etc etc. Hence looking for recs.
Anon
oops…. please see post below.
Anon
Well, can she go back to the healthcare setting? I mean if the private clinic therapists are too rigorous for her, that sounds like the wrong direction, and I definitely recommend avoiding sports medicine PTs, who would tend to make her work even harder! In the US, the major hospitals and rehabilitation hospitals also have outpatient physical therapy programs that are sometimes better for this situation. Is that true in France? I mean, her problem is actually the most common one of all seniors – deconditioning, worsened by a recent fall/accident/illness. It can be treated by anyone, but the hospital based therapists have the best experience / patience for working with older patients.
Has she been going alone, or does she have a family member taking her and advocating for her, and helping her do her home program exercises? Honestly…. most seniors dislike their PT and don’t do their home program. It is hard and usually not fun!
What worked best for us was hiring a massage therapist once a week, which honestly was important for pain. But to waste precious PT time on massage means she will get very little therapy for that session. And add going to the most experience therapists at the outpatient rehab hospital clinics. Is there a hospital near her?
If she lives alone, this is a really rough juncture, and I would encourage you to try rehab in her home to get her to stick with it … maybe she will complain less? And start to think about a long term plan for how she is going to live if she starts having a harder time on her own.
It is really had to help from so far away. It is great that you are trying.