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Happy weekend! I feel like I haven't heard anything about Michael Stars in a while, but the brand has a nuuumber of cute, simple summer dresses. I like this tank dress, but there's has a V-necked version as well as a U-necked one.
(The brand used to be known as one of the top brands for casual women's t-shirts, along with Splendid, James Perse, and Velvet… would you still agree with that? The last time we discussed the issue readers loved Madewell and Caslon.)
The pictured dress comes in a bunch of colors, some of which are on sale right now (including this pretty blue). Full price it's $108, but the sale colors are down to $73.50; the dress is available in sizes XS-XL. (This black dress is verrrry similar but without the slit.)
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Pet Meds PSA
The Costco discussion this morning reminded me to post a public service announcement. Do you know that you can fill your pet’s Rx at Costco? i learned this only recently. The medication for my dog is just about 10% of what my vet was charging. While paying 10 cents on the dollar is likely extreme, the savings can be significant. I wish I had known this when I was paying several hundred dollars per month for medication for another dog who has since died.
Anonymous
Also sunglasses! I got Maui Jims and Raybans at Costco for around $100 per pair.
Agree about the prescriptions, for humans too- my husband just had one where insurance wanted to charge $200 per refill, Costco charged about $15.
Anonymous
Hearing aids are a bargain there, too.
Anon
Even if you don’t have a Costco nearby or in your country, it’s also cheaper at a pharmacy than the vet.
Anon
Yes, we did the same with “human” drugs our dogs had to take. Heart medications (furosemide, coreg, etc.) as well as phenobarbitol. Generic pricing, dog patients. Waaay cheaper.
Kelsey
How do you clean a nylon handbag that has leather accents on the edges? Mine is from Tumi, but it’s similar to a LePliage bag. Can I throw it into a mesh bag into the laundry or will that destroy the leather?
Cat
I use Dawn on a washcloth and then sponge it off carefully. The leather does bleed a bit. If it’s a dark bag it might not be noticeable but mine is pale pink.
Anon
I put my Tumi bag in the wash and let it air dry and it was totally fine. It was way beyond spot cleaning after many years of abuse. The colour of the leather handles faded a bit but it’s not noticeable unless you’re looking up close.
AIMS
I take it to the dry cleaners. cost was about $15 (NYC). Looks good as new.
Ellen
This is me too. I love TUMI and I have had Tumi for many years. I recommend it to the entire HIVE!
I wanted to update the HIVE as to my status. I am still single, but am dating an MBA guy who’s in his 50’s and has kids who are 25 and 26. I can’t figure out where the time went but now those kids are getting married and I can be a step Grandma if I get married to this guy, which could happen b/c he is really crazy about me. I told him he should have found me 10 years ago when I could still bear children, but he was married then. Once his kids graduated from college, his wife divorced him and supposedly took much of his assets away in the divorce, but he says it was worth it. I suppose if I had married this guy, I could have been the one getting divorced instead of now, when this guy now is back interested in me now that I am older, and cannot have kids at my age. I suppose it could be worse, since this guy lives in a nice apartement on the Upper East Side (I met him at Whole Foods) so you never know. Myrna thinks he is conceited, but he is a Manageing Director, which is still a good thing to be.
Anon
I have washed a Le Pliage that had leather straps and accents. I washed it on tap cold, gentle, extra light (those are the settings my washer has) and then took it out to dry. Before I laid it flat to dry, I rubbed the leather with a leather conditioner, and then I did that again once the bag was fully dry and I was ready to reuse it. Worked fine. I had taken the bag to a taproom and someone spilled their beer on it; it was either wash the bag and see if I could get it clean, or throw it out. I’m glad I washed it.
Sallyanne
I wash my Le Pilage in the washer (lingerie bag) and air dry. I experimented on an older version first but now have no problems tossing them in the washer.
anon
I ran an MZ Wallace bag with a little leather trim through the wash in a lingerie bag as well.
Anon
What regrets do you have in your life in different categories? I.e., career, relationships, friendships etc.
I think most of my regrets stem from not putting myself out there or being too shy and timid in the past. And from always assuming the worst and being anxious. I still do these things, but am working on them…
Anon
Regret is a useless emotion
Anon
Sure, to dwell on. But it is an emotion and people are going to feel it from time to time. It’s not useless to have feelings.
Anyway, to answer OP’s question — I wish I had taken more math classes in college. I also have some serious regrets about a family + real estate situation that is going to be a problem for me until my parents die, but you’d better believe I’ll never make the same mistakes again.
Anon
Ill advised marriage in my early 20’s. Lesson learned – don’t marry out of a feeling of obligation or pity. Things ended relatively quickly and we both went on toe different, happier relationships and fulfilling lives, but life is short and I see those years as wasted opportunities for both of us. We both compromised for the other in ways we regretted.
Emma
Yup, marrying my college boyfriend is my only regret. I should have left him at the first sign of trouble and had more fun in my 20s instead of trying to save a dying relationship.
AIMS
Biggest would probably be in my personal life. My dad passed when I was 20 and my grandparents are all gone and I really wish I could have spent more time with all of them. Some of this is obviously impossible but some of it was very much just me not knowing how little time I would have. I try to be mindful of that in my relationships now.
Sometimes I also regret not working harder in school or not taking advantage of more opportunities but I’m also pretty happy with where I am, career wise, so I don’t really know if that qualifies.
Anon
+1
Yes, my regrets are mostly family/friends related.
Both of my parents are gone now, and I wish I had spent more time with them, been less judgmental of their choices, and been more supportive in general. They were more amazing than I gave them credit for, and did their best with the resources they had. And I desperately now wish I had recorded conversations with them, telling any stories about themselves or my family.
And I regret letting some friendships die just for silly reasons, or holding grudges/resentments for small slights. Life ebbs/flows, friendships change and can be revived.
Anon
I actually regret how *hard* I worked in school, college, early career etc. I got into a really good school, worked my ass off but took a ton of loans, got into a great law school but took out a bunch more loans … it took 18 years to not have a negative net worth after getting all those fancy degrees and I gave up so much (personal relationships, hobbies, fun vacations) during those years in order to make the grades / finish the brief / etc.
Really, I would be as happy and financially stable if I’d done the fun stuff while I was young and gone to a ‘good enough’ school, picked a career more fulfilling that law, taken out few to no loans, and started earning more than I owed before my 40’s. I could be at a similar place to where I am now with more fun experiences along with way. Also could have spent more time with kids when they were babies instead of racing back onto the treadmill of work because I was afraid I’d fall behind.
Monday
Career: getting a humanities PhD. A lot of good things came from doing that, but it was a net loss in terms of time and missed opportunities to do something else. One of my life rules to come out of that is “don’t assume you are the exception.” As in, if you’re on a track that doesn’t usually lead to a good job, expect not to end up with a good job yourself either. I find it applies to a lot of other things too. I am now in about the most utilitarian, employable position possible in health care.
Relationships: my first marriage. I entered it in good faith, but my ex did not, and left me after about 3 years saying he had never really wanted it in the first place. I don’t take the blame for that, but I do think that if I was more alert to bad signs I could have seen them. I was in a very low place in my career at the time when we got married, and I think that influenced my decision when it shouldn’t have. After taking a long break from dating I ended up with my current partner, who went through something similar himself and is 100% the person I was waiting for.
Anon
After my mother died, I started learning about trauma and responses to it. I realized that most of the behaviors that drove me crazy were her response to trauma. An example would be her extrema and exaggerated startle response. She was always yelling! If I had realized that when she was alive, I would have been so much more tolerant and patient with her.
Anon
Letting drinking and feelings for a stupid boy ruin my closest female friendships in college. I think I naturally would have faded away from that friend group because we come from very different backgrounds (I’m middle class Midwest, they’re all quite wealthy New Yorkers and I feel like I didn’t see or fully comprehend a lot of the disparities at the time). But I hate the way our friendship ended and the person I was senior year of college.
I wish I had pursued more STEM classes. I went into communications bc I’m decent at writing and I didn’t know how to find other jobs with my liberal arts degree. I have a successful career but I think I would have enjoyed something in tech/finance/engineering much more…and would be making more $$.
pugsnbourbon
I’ve always been risk-averse and afraid of failure – I wish I had been more adventurous in college and in my 20s.
As a fellow anxious person – when I find myself envisioning the worst-case scenario, I try to stop it by thinking “what if something good happens?”
Anon
I don’t have a ton of regrets, honestly. Things have happened in my life that were out of my control and I dealt with them as best I could at the time. In hindsight, with perfect information, I might have made a different move, but at the time I didn’t have perfect information. I forgive my past self, and you all should too.
anon
+1 I can’t say I have always made the best decisions (not even close), but I love the person I have become through all that mess and so I have no regrets. I refuse to spend time thinking what if, because that takes away from right now. I reflect and try to learn, absolutely. But regrets? No.
Anon
I don’t feel like I have regrets either. I’ve definitely made some bad decisions but things have always turned out ok, which I know involves a lot of luck. For example, I went to law school despite not really wanting to practice law, which could have ended very, very badly. But I was lucky to have a scholarship, graduate with minimal debt and get a job in Big Law so I built a nice little nest egg that set me up well for a much less stressful, lower-paying second career. Also I met my husband during my 2L summer (not at work) so not going to law school would have negatively changed the course of my life for sure.
anon
I have slowly come around to this way of thinking. I realized I had been evaluating my past choices with the information I have now, which of course is not fair or reasonable. I repeat to myself that “I did the best that I could at the time” over and over again when I feel these feelings crop up (which is far more often than I’d like).
Anon
Hugs to you. Keep working on it. I forgive you and you should do the same.
Anonymous
I’m probably in the minority here in that I don’t have any regrets. While I’ve made some really stupid choices and learned some really hard lessons, there is nothing in my life that has me going ‘oh I wish…’
My life might be different now had I made different choices, but different doesn’t mean it would be better. I really like the life I have now and the person I am right now.
Senior Attorney
Agree with this. I made catastrophic mistakes when I was younger but it all led me to where I am now. I guess if I hadn’t done the things I would otherwise be regretful about, I would be some other, arguably better and maybe even happier version of me, but I’m good with how things turned out.
Anonymous
I think the reason I have no regrets is because it is impossible to say whether I would be a better or happier version of me if I’d made different choices. Especially since some of the best choices I made were the direct result of some of the worst.
I guess I just don’t have the time or energy to waste on looking back with ‘what ifs’…
Anon
This makes a certain amount of sense to me, but I think my regrets are more about letting others down in some way.
Anonymous
I recognize that while I have probably let people down, I also did the best I could in the situation I was in with the information and choices I had at the time…so it doesn’t make sense to me to hold on to it as a regret.
Anon
I think I’m stuck in mod, but I can’t really say the same. I haven’t always done the best I could with the information and choices I have at the time. So that probably does make it feel different.
anon
Both of my marriages. That would account for most of the other categories.
Not taking more foreign languages/home ec in high school (although we were severely limited as to electives and I took what I could. We had restrictive state requirements at the time that don’t exist today.
Anon
Mine nearly all fall into the category of doing what other people expected of me or what I thought society dictated as expected, complying with values that aren’t my own, hiding what I actually want or believe, or going into “Stockholm syndrome” mode with perceived authorities (like going along with a recommendation from a healthcare provider against my better judgement).
It’s strange because I think I’m perceived as having a strong will and a lot of independence in life, but it’s also the thing I’ve struggled with most.
Curious
I wish I had gotten treatment for depression in college, but I don’t know if I would have been mature enough to do the work.
Anon
Not leaving relationships and jobs sooner. They were only holding me back from exploring better options.
Smokey
I really wish I could have redo the 10 years I spent smoking cigarettes!!
Anonymous
Taking life too seriously. Thinking I needed a serious career and going to law school right out of college and exhausting my (very) modest trust fund doing it. I could have bought a cute apartment and worked doing something interesting and married into money while I was young and pretty. My life turned out good but it seems like I missed a major opportunity.
Anon
Well, I’m proud of you for taking the more secure route. Too many of those I-married-into-money-while-I-was-young-and-pretty marriages don’t last once you are no longer young and pretty. Good for you for achieving a good life using your hard work, smarts and serious career!
Anon
Not the Anon above. I have seen some of the “married when young and pretty” marriages work out and some fail catastrophically. My problem with the former marriages is that the couples are often insufferable.
Anonymous
I’m the anon above and honestly you’re way too kind here.I’m not really successful. I’m the kind of co worker people here complain about. I wasted that money on a law degree. I’m not particularly smart (I passed the bar but graduated smack in the middle of my very mediocre law school class) and I’m just not very hard working by nature. (I’m not proud but it’s the truth.) I simply couldn’t hack it in mid law, and while I’ve been steadily employed for the last decade I have rarely been promoted and I really need my husband’s income to live a decent middle class life. Everything is fine but real estate and a very wealthy husband (or even a decent divorce settlement from one) would have served me better with less boredom and frustration. I’m sure I’d have ended up making at least my modest salary even if I’d gone into teaching or event planning or selling cars by now and I wouldn’t have wasted my twenties as a complete stressed out mess.
AIMS
I have the U shaped dress in black and really like it. Cute with converse or sandals and a denim jacket (if too chilly alone).
Sallyanne
I have the featured one in black and have gotten so much use from it. Packs well and can go casual or dressy-ish.
Anon
Where do you wear this? Running errands?
AIMS
Errands, or just out to the park, or an outdoor summer concert – anywhere that I would wear jeans but in the summer.
Anon
To my eyes, it looks too body-con for errands and the park, and the tank makes it too casual for much else.
Near me, the outdoor events are more formal; think, men wore sports coats when taking their kids to the Easter egg hunt.
Anon
Who cares if you wear something body con to the park?? Or for errands, for that matter.
AIMS
Who said anything about an Easter egg hunt? I also literally said I have a different style and color (black appears much less body con). And if I am running errands there really is no uniform. Maybe we have different errands? I can go to the library to return books in all kinds of things.
Anyway, highly recommend this for wearing to a summer concert or a casual date night. It’s a great option for when you want to look cute but without being overdressed (which is perfect with the sneakers and denim jacket).
Anonymous
People wear leggings to run errands all the time but a body con dress is… not ok?
Anon
I don’t think this is too body con. maybe a little bit in the b00b area but I suspect the model isn’t wearing a bra, and anyway a jacket would cover it. I think your outfit sounds super cute, AIMS!
Also definitely not a universal thing that Easter egg hunts are Fancy. My neighborhood is having one on Sunday and I expect 100% of the people to be in jeans or leggings. I mean, I’d assume you’d dress up for an egg hunt at church but that’s because it’s church, not because it’s an “outdoor event.”
Anon
Man, I’m glad I don’t live someplace where people wear sport coats to go to the park. That sounds awful. Way too formal for me.
Anon
This is a matter of personal preference. I would never wear this – way too clingy and therefor revealing for me to be comfortable in casual settings. I would be self-conscious and people (aka men) would definitely take a second or third look. But then I am a curvy DD cup. My sister – an A cup with narrow hips – would live in something like this and be completely happy. Neither of us is “wrong”, we just have different bodies and different preferences for how revealing we want our clothes to be.
I don’t wear leggings as pants either.
Anonymous
I pretty much live in dresses like this in the summer, outside of work and more athletic adventures.
Towelie
+1, I’m actually ordering this in one of the sale colors right now :)
Anon
I don’t have this one from Michael Stars, but I have a similar one, and as you say, it’s so great for casual wear on the weekends. It’s great for throwing on with a denim or linen jacket and Birks and going to the farmer’s market and then to brunch.
OOO
Looking for a location for a family reunion next summer. Thinking resort in US or Canada, near a city with a major airport
Anon
Can you provide more info? Where are you coming from? How do you define “resort?” What activities?
OOO
Family will be traveling from NJ, MI, KY, GA, AZ, and Vancouver. It will mostly be seniors who are not very active, and families with little kids. I think the vibe will be sitting on a beach. Kiawah Resort comes to mind, or a hotel/resort in the Ozarks since it’s central. Other options may be Los Abrigados in Sedona, it’s not on the beach but in a great location in downtown with beautiful scenery. Hotel doesn’t have to be a resort but ideally would have a pool.
Anon
Kiawah sounds about right, although it may be kind of hard to reach. For this kind of thing, I’d probably start by looking to see where people can fly to direct and then look at a destination that’s easy for the most people to reach? I’m guessing among coastal areas in the US, you’re going to have the best flight options to Florida.
I adore both Tahoe and Banff personally but wouldn’t do either with seniors with limited mobility.
Anon
For a family reunion, I might choose a more mild weather location that would be nice for the older relatives.
Lake Tahoe – fly into Reno
Banff
Anne-on
It is definitely pricey but look into Tyler Place resort in VT. I went almost a decade ago on the suggestion of an OG mommy blogger (anyone else read Amalah?) and omg it was amazing. The accommodations are rustic but they recreate a sleep away camp environment for adults and kids and the kids are in childcare for roughly ~8-9hrs a day so the grownups can have an actual vacation. 12/10 highly highly recommend.
Anon
I don’t get why you’d vacation with kids just to put them in childcare 8+ hours a day (and if I recall, at this place it’s not optional childcare – the kids and adults are actually forced to spend this much time apart). If you don’t want to vacation with your kids, why would you even bring them on the trip? Don’t get me wrong, we go to resorts with kids camps and things like and I’m not above putting kids there for an hour or two there so I can get a spa treatment, but it’s pretty sad to me to have your kids in childcare for 40-45 hours/week on a family vacation.
Anon
If everyone is okay with an hour drive from an airport, try Lake Geneva in Wisconsin. They have some lovely resorts up there with beach access, pools, on site restaurants, and activities. Drivable from parts of Michigan and Kentucky. One hour from O’Hare.
Anon
Do you have a hat that you wear often/daily in non-winter months? I guess more for casual day wear, if doing errands etc.. Maybe one on work commute days too….
I need to start wearing one for skin protection reasons, as even with sunblock I am still having a lot of problems on my face. Ugh.
Anon
Just a couple baseball caps.
Anonymous
If I’m going on a walk or jog outside or to a park with my kids I’m in a baseball cap with a long brim. Vampires for the win!
BelleRose
I have cute black and light-colored straw hats that I wear if I’m out and about during the summer. I hate wearing and reapplying sunscreen, so coverage is the way to go for me. I get so many compliments!
Then I also have the super dorky sunhats for if I’m out gardening or hiking, no compliments on those lol
Anon
I like straw hats for summer. That’s a good choice.
Anon
Thanks for your thoughts. Any non-baseball cap styles?
My cheeks are the big problem area, so I think I need more than just a front brim
I have a larger head, if that matters. Appreciate something cute, but as I am not a hat person I am not sure what qualifies ;)
anon
I had a Tilley hat — quite expensive — that I somehow lost. But then I found a dupe at Costco (!) for very little and bought two of them. The coverage is much better than baseball caps (of which I don’t have any) and is where I need it, on the cheeks. I also have the floppy straw ones that BelleRose mentioned. I get compliments too, but they are strictly for protection. If they get too smashed, I get a new one at Target, also for cheap.
Anon
Are you me?
I have a Wallaroo hat with a wide brim which looks like straw but is completely wahsable, nigh indestructible, and rolls for rucking away in your bag if needed thens opens right back up into shape. Cheaper than Tilley bur great quality and pretty, and fits my big head :) If I ever lose it I am buyng the same style right away.
Anon
Another great company – thanks!
Gail the Goldfish
I have a tilly wanderer that I’ll wear while hiking or doing yard work. It’s not super cute, but it’s functional. For cute, maybe something straw?
Anon
I have an Athleta trail hat. It’s cheaper than a Tilley but is really decent, but not fashionable. I also have a straw hat that I wear in summer, but it’s not as comfortable or a squishable as the Athleta.
Hats and Skin Cancer
Skin cancer runs in my family, and I live in SoCal. So I wear hats all the time. San Diego Hat Company has great UPF protective hats in many different styles. Bonus: they pack and travel well. My favorite is a white ribbon one with a medium size brim (large enough to provide protection 360 degrees, but not so large as to be floppy). I also have a baseball-cap style white hat with an extra-large front bill and a bow in the back that I wear when I drive (so my head can touch the car seat behind me).
Anon
Great rec on San Diego Hat Company – thanks!
JD
Do you have a link to the one you like? I really should have more hat options. My straw options are floppy, and not as useful as I’d like.
Hate and Skincare
This one in white (link to follow):
Women’s Ribbon Medium Brim Floppy
RBM202OSBGE
$39.00
Hats and Skincare
https://www.sandiegohat.com/collections/ribbons-womens/products/women-s-ribbon-medium-brim-floppy-2
Hats and Skincare
The one with the large visor and the bow at the back is the Betmar Face Framer Cap in white. SKU B964 $45. Link to follow.
Hats and Skincare
https://www.hats.com/brands/betmar/betmar-face-framer-cap
Jane T
Good rec on SD hats, have a few in my collection. My go-to is still a Stetson(Texas, gotta represent) that I’ve got from a local gun store ages ago, at leat whenever I do more casual jeans+jacket. Whenever I go with dress I’m going with San Diego hats :D
Anon
Yes, a couple. A pale felt one for cooler weather, a tan straw one, a fabric floral broad brimmed one and a Panama hat.
Incorporate them into your style! It’s fun and means you are much more comfortable (face shaded so no squinting) and have better skin.
Anon
Great idea. I will probably do this.
OP
Thanks for all of these great suggestions.
Anyone have a pair of fun HUGE sunglasses that you are wearing that you love?
Anon
Are you just trying to figure out our disguises now? What next, favourite fake moustache ;)
Anon
hahaha . Totally!
Now that I am not wearing masks, I need some other way to hide … :)
Runcible Spoon
Sun readers, which I get at CVS — they have magnification to allow me to read a book on the beach!
Runcible Spoon
And they let me see the instrumentation and also the road while I’m driving. Seriously, sun readers changed my near-sighted life, once I became old enough to need reading glasses. (Happens around age 40, ladies, when everything starts to fall apart — eyes, teeth, etc.!)
Anon
How great! Never heard of these. Thanks.
Anon
Filson Summer Packer
Anonymous
Do people who travel more frequently than me have hard opinions about the different big US chain hotels? Hampton Inns, etc? I wish they did a better job of differentiating themselves.
Anon8
Marriott all the way. They are EVERYWHERE and I’ve always had a positive experience at Courtyards and regular Marriotts. Also, critically, it’s what my boss uses, so I’m always in sync with her when we travel to the same city. If you’re traveling for work and they have a preferred hotel chain, I’d just go with that.
Anne-on
+1 to asking your colleagues if you’re going with a group. In my company now, and previously, it was totally normal to stay at your preferred brand hotel to maintain status as long as you were within a few blocks of the meeting location/client site. Road warrior types are alllll about keeping their status.
Anon
Marriott crew represent!
Anon
When traveling with my family for an overnight, Hampton Inn: they almost always have a pool and the h have a very solid free breakfast.
When we bring our cat, La Quinta for $0 pet fees.
Marriott Residence Inn for longer trips.
I have not had great luck with Holiday Inn, so I avoid them.
pugsnbourbon
I’ve stayed in a couple Residence Inns for work and they’ve been great.
Anon
Holiday Inn Express and Hampton Inn. I’ve stayed at a few HIEs that have been really nice. I’m all about the free breakfast and endless coffee.
Anne-on
Hyatt has one of the better rewards programs so I tend to lean towards those, even though they tend to be clustered in big cities. For more rural locations, I’ve always had good service at DoubleTrees and Hampton Inns. I’ve been at some pretty gross Hilton locations so I tend to skip those, and will chose a Marriot if there isn’t a Hyatt option.
Anon
I’m tripadvisor guided all the way — different chains differ so much depending on the location, age of the building and management.
Anon
To be honest, I prefer Hyatts, and I prefer their points program. But Marriotts are everywhere and I end up concentrating my points there for that reason.
Anon
I think it’s more important to compare price, reviews, and location of individual hotels than to blindly follow a chain. I have Gold Marriott status through United and have generally been happy with them (in particular, have never had a bad experience at Le Meridien and have generally had good experiences with Courtyard properties) but I have also had some really awful experiences, including last week at a Marriott by the airport in Madrid. I miss Starwood (which merged into Marriott) and think Starwood was more consistently good than Marriott is.
All else being equal I do try to go with Marriott for the points, but if I can get a much better location or perk or price by booking a Hilton or a Hyatt or non-chain hotel I will definitely do it. Airline loyalty is different for me and I’m 100% committed to Star Alliance. But hotel properties vary SO much and the perks for being elite are not as significant in hotels, so it’s more important to me to assess it on a case by case basis.
Anon
What do you like to eat when you have a very sore throat from a cold? I’m out of ideas. I sound like a frog and swallowing hits.
PS strep and COVID have been ruled out. It’s just a cold.
pugsnbourbon
Cottage cheese, scrambled eggs, yogurt. And ice cream and milkshakes.
anon
I had the worst sore throat of my life from a cold, not strep, about three weeks ago:
* tomato-bisque soup or any other smooth soup you like
* fresh squeezed OJ or pineapple-ginger juice from WF (the ginger really helps!)
* pudding
* greek yogurt with berries
* 24/7 tea, some with honey, some without
* lemonade (homemade with splenda or honey so not so much sugar)
Feel better soon.
anonshmanon
for tea, sage in particular helps me.
Anon
The honey in tea is a really good idea. My pediatrician recommends honey for kids with a soar throat.
Anon
Honey can help with coughing too. It’s a good thing to give kids who are too young to take cough medicine.
BelleRose
POPSICLES!!! also numbing cough drops. If you have to swallow, make sure it’s at least something soothing. Some people find tea and honey soothing, though doesn’t work for me, I find the honey just burns.
The other thing is experiment with decongestants. I find sometimes my sore throat is because I have post nasal drip, so drying up the secretions is best. Other times, the decongestant dries me up too much and the dryness makes the sore throat worse.
Sending socially-distanced hugs and best wishes for recovery!
Anon
Yes, a couple. A pale felt one for cooler weather, a tan straw one, a fabric floral broad brimmed one and a Panama hat.
Incorporate them into your style! It’s fun and means you are much more comfortable (face shaded so no squinting) and have better skin.
Anon
This is going to make my sore throat feel so much better! J/k but hilarious mis-nest!
Anon
Oops! Sorry, don’t eat your hat ;)
Bone broth with sea salt and hemp seed oil feels good and nourishes me and my gut bacteria when I don’t feel like eating anything but need something.
Rice pudding with cinnamon or chicken congee when hungry.
AIMS
Soup, specifically broth.
Anonymous
I avoid dairy and drink warm mild tea with lemon and honey, warm not hot chicken soup with lemon.
Anon
+1 to avoid dairy and maybe soy, both those can make people phlegmy.
Anon
Huh, I also had strep-level pain from a sore throat about three weeks ago and tested negative for Covid, strep, and flu. Is there some weird bug going around or have we all forgotten what it’s like to have a cold? I know that thanks to pandemic precautions I haven’t been sick in years until recently.
Anon
OP here – Same for us. My son got it from his college roommate, he’s home for spring break and finally getting better now that it’s time to go home, but now both of us, his parents, have it. Roommate and son tested negative for COVID and strep at the health center on campus, husband and I tested negative for COVID using home tests and aren’t (yet) bothering with strep since we clearly got it from him, and he’s tested negative.
Husband was symptomatic a day before I was, and after three days of a razor blade throat, is starting to feel better. That should be tomorrow for me.
So YES, it does seem to be going around!
Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. I’ve been eating soup and am sick of it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of cold things, but that sounds so much better. Maybe I will make some overnight oats and go get some cottage cheese (why does that sound so good)
Curious
FWIW, my NP says my colds feel worse right now because of background allergies. Adding Claritin has done wonders for the recent sore throats.
Katherine Vigneras
This! This is the time of year when I add Flonase to my routine (I already take Zyrtec year-round.) Check with your pharmacist to see what’s OK to combine.
anon a mouse
Jello!
I also rely on smoothies when I am sick – add a bunch of protein powder so even if nothing else sounds good I’m getting some nutrition via frozen fruits and yogurt.
Anon
I got sick all the time in college and would go for weeks where it felt like I ate nothing but kozy shack rice pudding. Cold, sweet, and bland, goes down easy on a sore throat.
Anon
That sounds so good right now – yum!
Anon
Hot tea, especially with ginger.
No Face
Throat coat tea, cough drops, gargling with salt, Neti pot to reduce the amount of post nasal drip bothering my throat. I also order ramen.
OOO
+ 1 to ramen takeout
Smokey
Chai tea latte from Starbucks.
BelleRose
Repost from end of morning thread:
Recommendations for sturdy yet comfortable jeans? I’ve loved the Old Navy jeans for fit and comfort for so long, but now that I’m size 14, the thigh area just disintegrates within months even though the rest of the jeans could go for another few years (side note: is there a better term to use than “chub rub”?). Recommendations?
Anon
Thrift stores, honestly.
AIMS
Madewell.
Anon8
+1 Especially the curvy version if you have a big hip to waist difference.
anon
What style of Jeans are you looking for? Super stretchy skinny jeans are going to wear out faster than straight leg jeans that have more cotton in them. I just got a pair of the Abercrombie 90s straight jeans and the fabric is nice and thick (and the curve love fit is great).
Anonymous
Look for more cotton/less elatic fabric percentages. Stretchier may be comfy but tends to pill easier.
Anonymous
kut from the kloth and wit and wisdom both have held up well for me
Sallyanne
Didn’t see morning post but my Levi’s are ones I always gravitate towards. I like the wedgie straight.
Anon
I like Levi’s too.
Anonymous
Levis
anon a mouse
My favorite current jeans are from Universal Standard, a mid-rise. In the past I’ve also had good luck with Kut from the Kloth, Lucky, and Good American.
A friend puts a patch of scrap denim on the inside of her jean thighs to help prevent them from wearing down. I haven’t tried it yet but I’ve been thinking about it.
Anonymous
I used to do this like 15 years ago when I was a lot thinner – weirdly now that I’m bigger I haven’t had to do it. Not sure if that’s because my jeans are thicker or what (I’m the one who swears by Kut from the Cloth, Wit and Wisdom, oh and NYDJ.)
Anon
I wear only Old Navy and Talbots. The Talbots would probably last longer. I find both brands very comfortable.
Anonymous
Talbots jeans wearer as well with thick thighs. They do wear out, but I tend to have several pair in rotation, so it hasn’t been an issue for a while now.
Lydia
Gap factory
anon for this
Following the skin question above… I have developed several small flesh-colored bumps on my face. They don’t hurt, they look like they used to be pimples that just turned skin-tone. (They were never actually pimples and just appeared out of nowhere.) I wash my face regularly, but I hate the way it’s looking lately. Is this the sort of thing that microdermabrasion can help with? Can they be removed?
AIMS
Where are they? I have something like this on my forehead and they can be removed (i do this when I get my facial).
AIMS
But it’s not by microdermabrasion, but by a special tool they use to basically squeeze (cut?) them out.
anon for this
They are all over – one kind of above my mouth on one side, one under my eye on the other side, one near the center of my chin (ugh) and one very near my hairline by my ear. They are bigger than blackheads, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to squeeze out, it’s as though I have a bunch of skin-colored moles suddenly.
Anne-on
This is going to sound weird but why don’t you also try to cut out SLS in your toothpaste/shampoo/facewash? I thought I was getting hormonal breakouts around my mouth/ears but it was an SLS allergy. I now use a low PH non foaming facewash (cosrx gentle good morning cleanser is my go to) and sensodyne toothpaste. The color safe/moisturizing versions of L’Oreal evercare line were SLS free.
Anne-on
I’d start with chemical exfoliation before you jump all the way to expensive microdermabrasion. There are various levels of chemical peels but for the absolute cheapest starting point use plain old stridex in the red tub every night (roughly 2% salicylic acid). It’s way less than Paula’s Choice BHA (salicylic acid is a BHA) for roughly the same active ingredient. If you can tolerate that without irritation after a week, I’d add in the de la cruz sulfur ointment – it’s stinky but that stuff dries up everything from eczema to hormonal acne. Dab it on the spot and wipe it off with a tissue after 10 minutes and then wash your face/do the stridex pads. Also – keep on moisturizing/using sunscreen so you don’t mess up your moisture barrier!
Cat
Look up milia – is that what you’re experiencing? A derm can help.
Anonymous
It might be milia, which are usually white, but I think could present as “flesh colored.” When I get a facial, that will sometimes take care of it (but in some places, facialists won’t remove it because it requires going under the skin, which is not allowed by their license in some states). If that’s the case, a dermatologist can remove. Good luck!
Anon
I have three of these too! Just three. I don’t use SLS in anything (even toothpaste). It’s not milia.
I haven’t seen a dermatologist because they don’t bother me much but I’m curious if anyone knows what they are.
Anonymous
I have two. I’m not helpful because I can’t remember what my dermatologist called them, but he said they were no big deal and while he could remove them, it probably wasn’t worth the risk of scarring, so I’m just ignoring them.
Anon
I have several flesh colored moles on my face and neck, and have looked into having them removed but the scar would be worse than the mole so I just live with them.
Do they have an indentation in the center? That’s something different and I forgot the name, but I’ve pointed those out to my derm (who is wonderful) and she said to leave them be.
Anonymous
Sounds like sebaceous hyperplasia. I think a dermatologist can use cautery on these. https://dermnetnz.org/topics/sebaceous-hyperplasia
Anon
Check in with a dermatologist if you can, as there are a few different things these could be.
I had some of these, and it turned out they were related for the type of hair loss I had. I think I started noticing them before I even noticed the hair loss, actually. And once I treated the hair loss type (frontal fibrosing alopecia), the bumps went away.
Anon
Could be keratosis pilaris. Usually this appears on the upper arms, but it can appear on the face too. It is a build-up of keratin. After exhausting all other possibilities for the bumps on my face, I am convinced it is keratosis pilaris, but still have not found a silver bullet for it.
Anonymous
Does anyone have any experience with getting your mortgage company to let you pay the taxes instead of doing escrow? I refinanced a couple years ago and wonder if I should have asked for it then…
Anon
I’ve owned 9 properties and escrowing has always been optional. (I think it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread because it’s one more bill I don’t have to fuss with, but I could see DIYing being really helpful if you have an irregular income stream.)
Anon
Yes, we don’t escrow taxes or insurance. It’s a perk our bank offers (citi private bank). Not sure its commonly offered by every bank, but could be wrong.
Elle
I have purchased 4 different residential houses over the years and have always chosen to opt out of escrow. the mortgage company/bank has never given me a hard time about it
Anon
We’ve always just asked and been approved after a difficult experience with our first mortgage: the servicer-from-hell kept a ridiculously high escrow balance, paid our property tax late and then increased the escrow. We asked about opting out at the next refinance and never escrowed again.
Anon
I’m in consulting at a big 4. In order to get promoted, put on the desirable projects, become more visible you need to network within the company and I’d like to put in more effort in that area. I want to reach out to managers and senior managers that I’ve previously worked with and schedule a meeting, although virtual since we don’t live in the same cities. I’m struggling with how to word these emails/requests for time on their calendar. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
eertmeert
I like to open with a reason I thought of them and be specific about what I want to connect about.
I might find an article or something in a topic they work in that they would find interesting, forward that, and say something like “Saw this and reminded me of your work. Can we set a time to check in and catch up? I’d like to get up to date on what you are seeing in your clients these days.” or “A couple of my clients are struggling in X area that I think you might have some insights to. Could we set a meeting and I could run a few scenarios by you to see if you see what I see here?”
Or if you know of a hobby or something, you can do the same there. Or if they are particularly good at something like communicating expectations, or have a great template for whatever, bring that up as something you would like to get more insight into.
“Hi there, I just realized it has been 2 years since we worked on Project together. I was thinking of how I appreciated X thing about your approach to Project, and it helped me in the time since then to navigate some other projects successfully. Do you have a half hour on your calendar int he next few weeks to reconnect? It would be great to learn about what you are seeing in your practice these days.”
Bbanon
I wonder if the advice to network with an article is kind of outdated since the recipient will have already seen whatever news is relevant to their field? Unless the sender has something with a little substance to say about it?
Anonymous
When I used to do this I’d say “in case you didn’t see it” or something like that. There are too many sources to know of all of them, but I would defer to a smaller (but good) source rather than a front page NYT article or something.
anon
I’m an MBB partner, and I’d say don’t overthink it. I don’t fully read emails like this that ppl send, I just skim to see what they’re looking for (usually a coffee chat) and have my EA get it on the calendar. Just be direct about what you’re asking for and pleasant. I also like eertmeert’s suggestion.
Another Anon
+1 from a big 4 consulting SM
TravelingAnon
Can anyone recommend some specific brands and colors of nail polish? Criteria: Target or Amz, trendy but not extremely funky. Open to non traditional colors but not super far out there. I just want to get away from boring classic colors, and be more current but don’t know what this is! Caucasian pale skin if that helps to know. Thanks!
Anon
I just bought Essie NFTea for a summer pedicure. It’s an orange. I don’t know if that’s trendy or not, since I just buy what I like.
Anon
I hate the MLM aspect… still going to recommend Color Street.
Anon for this
Essie Geranium is flattering on my similar skin. A punchy orange-red without going too trendy.
Anon
There are so many great “indie” brands of nail polish out there, I’d really recommend branching out from what you can get at a drug store!
Bball
Can we start a thread on women’s basketball? I was amazed watching the SC-IA game last night, nearly all my male relatives were also watching. These guys have never paid attention to women’s bball. I feel like I’m witnessing a movement and I’m so hopeful and also weirdly nervous it won’t last and am curious if others on this board have thoughts!
Anon
I don’t think it’s the beginning of some kind of movement. I think enthusiasm really just depends where you live and how good your preferred teams traditionally are. Women’s basketball is pretty big where I grew up because the local team regularly makes the sweet 16, but not where I live now.
Anonymous
There is no movement. None of the sports fans I know care about women’s basketball. Actually, the only time women’s anything gets noticed where I live is during the olympics…
Women’s sports in general caters to a niche market and I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon.
Anon
LOL you’re so wrong. Just because you’re not seeing it doesn’t mean it’s not true. There’s tons of stats out there and articles about how the popularity of women’s sports is growing.
Anon
I want to try using eyeliner while still maintaining a natural look. I’m not very good with makeup application (don’t have a steady hand) and have somewhat oily skin. What type of eyeliner product is easy to apply, has good staying power, and looks natural?
Anonymous
I like the Almay eye pencils.
Lydia
what’s your coloring? I have green eyes and blond hair and find gray eyeliner is less harsh. I use the sephora brand pencil, but NYX also has a good one. also recommend trying plum.
Anon
Sephora Collection’s Retractable Waterproof Eyeliner in Shimmer Taupe. I picked this up on the recommendation of an influencer (Kate Bryan from the Small Things Blog), and think it’s a good fit for what you’re looking for. It’s easy to apply, the brown/taupe color looks natural, and I’ve found it to have good staying power on my oily lids. (Although I also recommend using an eyeshadow primer.)
Cat
Clinique’s quickliner, or get a shadow stick (like Bobbi Brown) and use it as eyeliner. Easy to smudge for a less made-up look.
Anon
Thoughts in this jumpsuit for evening wedding/bar mitzvah outfit? I’m 5’1, curvy, 42 and am finding most dress options not to my liking (I am a fan of neutral colors, geometric prints, no ruffles etc.) Would love other suggestions if you’re not a fan of this one! https://www.dressthepopulation.com/products/djug26-3053001
Very nice!
I love this jumpsuit. If I didn’t already have thirteen thousand black dresses and jumpsuits, I would buy it.
anon
Saying out loud for the first time that I think I have to leave my boyfriend of over 2 years. It’s hard and so sad. Thanks for listening.
WATCHES
My family gave me an apple watch for my birthday and I am feeling a little ungrateful. I mostly WFH and don’t wear a ring, watch or bra. Even when I was in an office at work, I would take my watch off to work on my laptop. When I go to the jail (no apple watches allowed) or court, I always wear a regular watch. I have an ipad and iphone so it seems that the only reason to keep this is if I want to track my movements all day. Will I get used to it and grow to love it? Or should I fess up and return now when we can get out money back? I hate to hurt feelings.
Anon
Any recommendations for a spring jacket that is professional enough to wear to work? I live in Chicago. I do not have anything other than a Columbia rain jacket and a North Face winter parka. I was thinking about a classic trench coat, maybe similar to this one at JCrew but hopefully not the price unless you all think this is worth it:
https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/coats-and-jackets/trench-coat/new-icon-trench/BF456?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=vintage-khaki&colorProductCode=BF456
Thanks!
Anon
Some other options I have found and would love your opinions/suggestions:
https://www.samedelman.com/product/womens-belted-trench-coat-3029031/navy-ec0238631?&partnerid=Google%7cPLA&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=&utm_name=AMP_Sam%20Edelman_Shopping_All%20Products_New&utm_campaign=AMP_Sam%20Edelman_Shopping_All%20Products_New&gclid=Cj0KCQjwz6ShBhCMARIsAH9A0qXhACOJdJIHmxNWRwl1RC1zKUVllwpObvKWumoKZBhW5eRdtep1_hAaAo52EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
https://www.eddiebauer.com/p/20612683/womens-girl-on-the-go%26reg%3B-trench-coat?ch=pla&cm_mmc=GooglePLA-_-non_brand_NB-_-US-_-Outerwear_Rainwear_Chicago_DMA-_-0067343100000050-_-145006100605&color=Black&gclid=Cj0KCQjwz6ShBhCMARIsAH9A0qWw9IOFmtoUFHtvh9771uJIJWzAZiKxVwylJCXN4JtqPMctbLzHY3waAsOxEALw_wcB&size=M&sizeType=Regular&sp=1&utm_campaign=PLA_NB_Outerwear_Rainwear_Chicago_DMA&utm_content=Outerwear_Rainwear_Chicago_DMA&utm_medium=psrch_pla&utm_source=Google&utm_term=0067343100000050
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/london-fog-womens-hooded-double-breasted-trench-coat?ID=15071461&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla
midwest atty
I’ve never owned anything Tory Burch – is this $548 handbag worth it? can anyone attest to the quality/durability? https://www.nordstrom.com/s/fleming-soft-leather-clutch/7221583?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FTop%20Brands%2FTory%20Burch&color=001