ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 269 Comments

Holiday Weekend Open Thread

woman wears loose navy maxi dress; she also wears a hat and bracelets and carries a drink

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I saw a Twitter thread recently where someone was asking for a great casual summer dress, and I was SHOCKED by how many people replied that it was, well, this one. In fact, Amazon notes that it is the #1 Best Seller in Women's Casual Dresses, which feels like it's saying a lot considering how many casual dresses Amazon has.

The pictured dress comes in 38 colors by my count (!!), sizes S-XXL. It does have pockets. The same brand also has versions with short sleeves, with a halter crisscross neck, and with a V-neck. They're all under $40 at Amazon.

(If you prefer not to shop on Amazon, I've noticed a few readers giving shoutouts to this similar dress from Z-Supply — it's $68, so not that much more, and available in sizes XS-XL. If you're looking for something similar in plus sizes, Universal Standard's best-selling dress is similar in vibe for $128.)

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

269 Comments

  1. Can anyone recommend a good, all-inclusive resort in Mexico that’s not that hard to get to from the West Coast? Cabo San Lucas and Puerta Vallarta look like good possibilities. It doesn’t have to be all-inclusive, but I know that if the prices on the menu are high, certain people in our family are going to want us to cook all of our meals and the shopping/cooking will fall on me. We would be traveling with my parents (late 70s) and also with a few teenagers over the holidays.

      1. This is where I’m going next time we opt to travel to Cabo if we’re sans kids. We looked at this and I ultimately decided to do Hyatt Ziva in Cabo a few months ago. I heard so many good things about Hyatt Ziva and I will say our kids absolutely loved it, great kids club, and I might even go back if traveling with them, but would definitely not go there without kids. The food was very meh – yes it looks pretty and there are lots of desserts but if you’re used to big city nice restaurants I suspect you’d be underwhelmed. That said, I recognize we are coming from a privileged background and my parents and grandparents would probably go nuts for the restaurants there. It was very much a party atmosphere at the main pool though. The adults only area was nice but if you’re sans kids, go somewhere else. If we go without the kids we’ll go to Grand Velas next time. We also had similarly picky friends who stayed at Palmilla and really liked it.

        1. I wouldn’t go to Grand Velas without kids. It’s a lovely place but definitely family oriented and there will be kids (including babies and toddlers) all over the place. There are many fabulous adults only resorts in Mexico and they generally have a better value for your dollar than resorts that allow kids.

        2. Thank you for posting this! We are heading to Hyatt Ziva in a few months (with kids and a grandparent). DH stayed there once for a work retreat and thought it’d be good for this purpose – easy family trip.

          We are used to big city nice restaurants but we’re going for ~5 days so I’m sure we’ll be fine – but good to know ahead of time to temper expectations. I’m sure the grandparent coming with us will be fine – they are picky but basically only eat crackers, cheese, dessert, and the occasional salad.

    2. We just returned from the Buenaventura Grand in Puerta Vallarta, all inclusive. Wonderful place. Food was great – except if you are vegetarian but we still managed. Plan to put on weight if you go! Recommend.

          1. Compared to literally every other all inclusive resort I’ve been to, which is at least a dozen of them. Food was terrible, rooms were outdated, pool areas were dirty, lots of stuff was poorly maintained and just felt rundown. Nice service is about the only positive thing I can say but I’ve never been to a resort in Mexico with bad service. It’s a very friendly country.

            Room rates there start around $150 a night which is *insanely* cheap for an all inclusive, and… you get what you pay for. You don’t need to go to the ultra luxury places that cost above $1k per night to have a good time, but I’d look for a place in the $300-500 range at least. Anything less than that is going to be a dump.

        2. I had a great experience! Maybe it’s changed since you were there. Very clean and exceptional customer service!

          2. It’s like anon went to a different place entirely. The place was squeaky clean, modern furnishing, beautiful layout, 2 pools, separate spa, excellent food and everyone bending over backwards to provide service.

  2. From the picture I thought this was going to be an article about what basic looks like today. The Starbucks cup. The crazy white teeth. The orange fake tan. The bleach blonde hair. And she’s older (ahem my age), I totally walked to class in college with this girl wearing a velour track suit with Pink across the rear in full face makeup and hair done basically the same as pictured, split ends and all. And like 10 years ago we were all wearing a substantially similar jersey dress that was V-necked and nipped in just under the bust. Pretty sure I still have both outfits somewhere in the depths of my closet. Maybe I should just embrace my basicness?

    1. I don’t the standing on tip-toes unless you are trying to reach something on a high shelf or in ballet class. I see it in so many pictures (like this one).

      1. That’s the new way to pose that’s making its way around SM. Face the camera straight on, pop a hip, point one toe forward.

    2. I think this look is basic from pre-Covid tbh, but the dress worn in a more modern way is simple enough!

    3. I was startled by the image myself. It feels like the women who make me feel uncomfortable in swim/tennis communities in the suburbs of my city. The dress itself is pretty cute, but the styling is translating to a very different set from.my own.

      1. 2015 is kinda where this blog’s fashion sense is still stuck. I wish they would take the feedback from various posters here more seriously, but I guess in the end it’s all about those affiliate links.

        2. I once suggested more picks for the casual office because that’s life for a lot of us now, but the screaming chorus said they always need more sheath dresses…. Do you really?

          1. tbh yes. The people who are above me in my org are dressing like it’s 2019. Can I get away with dressing more casually and like, not lose my job? Yes. If I want to get promoted should I dress accordingly? Also yes.

          2. Yeah, my job got more casual post-pandemic in that we no longer wear suits. No jeans, even on Fridays for us (even though 95% of people WFH on Fridays).

            We’re in the office 4 days a week in what I’d call pre-pandemic elevated business casual.

          3. Have not seen a sheath dress in the wild in 5 years. Would adore if more casual office outfits were featured here.

      2. you guys do realize this isn’t an image of Kat, right? just a stock photo from Amazon? I still think the dress looks cute. those hats always looked idiotic.

    5. It’s Christian suburban SAHM vibes to me. She also works as an influencer + model for an e-commerce brand.

      How do I know this? I love to occasional look at a college friend’s extended family – all her cousins are former cheerleaders/HS high school athletes, very pretty by traditional standards, and have this look down and influence for e-commerce brands (“Guys this shacket is SO GOOD!; This got snapped right up!”).

      I will never understand how Starbucks is touted as something special. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine and I get coffee there, but to me it’s like using a grocery store chain like Kroger or another franchise like a status symbol.

    7. So much hate on this board these days. I just saw a super casual summer dress and thought it was weird there was a Starbucks drink. Think a lot of these comments say way more about the commenter than the photo. So much hate for other women sometimes for absolutely no reason and a lot of stereotyping. I’m wearing a tee shirt dress today working from home. Next week I’ll be in a suit at a conference. A beach day might find me wearing something like the dress pictured. Still the same person.

      2. This is a fashion blog—do you not think we should be allowed to discuss the featured outfit?

        2. Sure, but all the conjecture over her being a basic bitch isn’t a fashion comment. It’s just another way to be awful to people, particularly women. Funny how their isn’t a guy equivalent.

  3. I will be spending a couple of hours during the day with my dad on Sunday before our entire family gets together and takes him out to dinner. He recently retired and told me that he wants to get out of the house more. So, this year, I want to think of an activity that takes us out of the house and I would love ideas for activities we could do in the span of two or three hours in the afternoon. He does not have very many hobbies (which is something he would like to figure out now that he is retired) and is not interested in watching movies, TV, or sports (playing or watching any sports), or shopping.

    Any thoughts?

    1. My dad isn’t a vigorous hiker, but he likes to go on trail walks. I like this also.

      He’d love to tell me all about his vast collection of slide rules, but I know that that would take at least a day. :)

    2. Does he have any interest in gardening? My dad is similarly not interested in movies/tv/shopping (although he does like sports), but we like wandering the local nursery for plants. Maybe a nearby hike or nature walk?

    3. kayaking? go to a Top Golf? pickleball? go for a walk?
      see an exhibit at a museum?
      not if dinner is in the picture but in the future, explore a new area of town, have drinks one place, apps another, dessert another…

      1. A few years ago when my dad visited my city, I took him to the zoo just because I like walking around there. My dad loved it. I realized that, at his age, he has not been to any zoo in many years, and modern zoos try harder to “recreate” the animal’s natural habitat so the exhibits themselves are interesting.

    6. Axe throwing. Or an Escape Room (although that’s my idea of a nightmare).

      If you have a Maker Space near you they may have 1-2 hour classes and workshops that would help him figure out a retirement hobby.

      If he’s into cars at all, see if there is a cruise in somewhere, you could get ice cream or coffee and look at cars. My dh is a gear head and we’ll do this occaisionally so he can get a fix.

    7. Could you take a class? Something like beekeeping, photography, composting, yadda yadda. Local schools, libraries, and more have those kinds of classes where I live.

    8. Oooh all of my uncles (mid 60s – mid 70s) have retired in the last few years.

      Here are some activities that they do:

      At-home hobbies: birdwatching, listening to audiobooks and podcasts, planning travel, puzzles (World and Soduku), tinkering / house work / yard work / fixing things (these men can literally fix anything!), gardening, their pets, reading, playing an instrument, finding free activities (between senior discounts and the library, they are pros!), reading the obituaries (I jest, but older folks do love telling you who just died), slowly becoming tech savvy (one just discovered podcasts and now loves them… he thinks they’re new).

      Social hobbies: having friends over for game nights, spending time with grandkids, “ROMEO” aka retired old men eating out ( a weekly lunch group), joining a choir, getting more involved at church.

      Out of home hobbies: traveling, bargain hunting (they all love yard sales and Costco; they also love price comparing),park picnics, taking a course at the community college or online, attending talks or events at museums or local universities.

      Active hobbies: hiking, biking, camping (1 aunt and uncle have a camper van and camp at least once a week April – October!), pickle ball, tennis, coaching sports, going to the gym to lift, running, softball, golf, sailing.

      Their social lives have also definitely improved now that they and their friends and siblings have more time. I feel like every time I catch up with one of my aunts / uncles, they’re telling me about who they just had dinner with.

      Clearly, we’re a pretty active family which may not be for everyone. A few of these uncles have had health scares which made them refocus on their non-active hobbies (that’s how one uncle got into birdwatching and now he’s obsessed).

      1. Great list! Lol @ ROMEO…my FIL’s a part of such a group (and bird watches and tinkers/fixes things and so many others from your list)

    9. Thanks to everyone for these great ideas! Anon @ 3:52’s comment made me laugh out loud because my dad indeed loves Costco and gave me what will probably be two years’ worth of laundry detergent the last time I visited.

    10. Walks around nature centers/local bird sanctuaries/walking trails/Audobon type places.

      I vote no axe throwing unless you know it’ll be a hit. Same with museums- unless you know it’s his jam it’s hit or miss.

    11. My dad loved visiting the local museums and historical churches and houses. We have an auto museum, an aeronautical museum, and a small local history museum.

  4. Has anyone attended a DEI workplace presentation that they thought was actually valuable and helpful? The last one we had was absolutely horrible. I complained and now have been put on the committee tasked with finding an alternative.

    To be clear, I was not and am not complaining about having one; quite the opposite. I would just like to find an option that does not simultaneously insult our Black and Hispanic employees and make the White employees angry and defensive.

    Thanks!

    4. We recently had a Juneteenth presentation that was really well received. I realize that’s probably not exactly what you’re asking for, but hey I’ll take what I can get when the white men actually pay attention and don’t complain.

      1. Here in USA we did a Racial Equity Institute workshop, and it definitely was not a DEI presentation at all, but it was good, so that was something.

        I wish I had a DEI workshop to recommend, but I’ll pay attention to this thread.

    5. I liked a program by Dr Steve Robbins that my workplace did years ago. It was a fairly general one on Inclusion in the workplace and why it’s smart to emphasize inclusion.
      Once your workplace culture evolves beyond basic bringing people around to the idea, there are nice trainings focused on targeted topics. You could learn about hiring best practices, good onboarding programs, mentoring, whatever. I find the targeted topics more useful for incorporating into actual everyday work.
      More recently I’ve seen Kenji Yoshido who works on the topic of Allyship and had some good stuff there.

      1. I went to a great DEI CLE by Kenji! Also, the (now possibly former, I haven’t kept up) head of DEI for Stanford had a phenomenal talk for alumni.

        1. Kenji was my con law prof. He’s incredibly good at leading conversations about sensitive and complicated issues without making anyone feel defensive, flustered, or cornered.

      2. I also did an amazing one from https://www.unh.edu/powerplay/ recently that was about bias, and how to react in the moment when someone says something biased. It’s a bit more focused on academic spaces but they were phenomenal. It was highly interactive without putting participants on the spot. Professional improv actors playing out scenarios, and attendees giving cues a la ‘how does this conversation change when this character says x instead of y’.

      3. Also recently participated in a workshop by Steve Robbins and it was really well received.

      4. I had Robbins recently and WOW he was engaging. focus is on inclusion vs diversity which I think may land with some white folks who are less receptive to the diversity message.

    6. I’ve attended a couple for school/PTA-type things, and the ones I thought were helpful were ones that were somewhat individualized for our particular situation.

      We aren’t a mostly white, well-off school district with a tiny minority population (which is often the kind of place that has a PTA who can fund this sort of workshop). Some of the speakers are focused on the market, which makes sense, but that’s not us. Our district is very diverse in terms of race and socioeconomic class, which is wonderful, but the dynamics among the adults can get pretty toxic.

    7. My husband’s org had one that was focused on neurodiversity that he found stand-out. Like, actually mentioned it and said it had useful actionable content.

      1. Yes. It’s for a law firm. There has been some discussion of different sessions for attorneys and staff but we thought we could discuss that with the potential vendors.

        1. I am really curious why you would be considering separate presentations. Is it because the staff is more diverse and likely have a broader array of life experiences and social circles/lifestyle that include interacting with a broader swath of society whereas the lawyers are a more heterogeneous group with a narrow set of life experiences, fewer interactions with people of different demographics, but more power and this more ability to do harm? Or something else?

  5. What would you tip movers for a 2 bedroom apartment move one state over? Moving from VA to NC about 6 hours apart. I think there will be 2-3 movers.

    2. I’d tip at least $50 each but probably more like $100 – $150 each given the distance.

    3. I moved a 4 BR house recently, but only about 30 minutes away. It was an all-day job for 4 guys. I tipped them $400 to split between them and also bought them lunch, which conveniently fell as they finished loading at the old house. I think the actual bill was about $2700. I have no idea if that was right.

    4. Tip cash to the movers directly. Give each of them a couple of $20s. More of it’s a big move.

  6. Does anyone else find it disturbing that employees are expected to basically give their employers an interest free loan for travel reimbursements. Everywhere I’ve ever worked, you submit your travel expenses after the trip. If the trip requires a flight then I booked that months before the trip. If I were to leave that amount on a credit card, I would have to pay interest on it, which my employer would not reimburse (and of course I pay off my cc every month). Why doesn’t the employer have to pay me interest? Whenever I bring this up to anyone they act like I’m crazy, this is just the way things are done. But I’m really peeved! Even more so now that I have mentees. Has anyone successfully advocated for a more fair reimbursement system? (Also isn’t that a comment on me/society, how is it that women are more fussed by bad things done to other people than themselves?).

    1. I get reimbursed for flights as soon as I pay for them. Our travel reimbursements are on a weekly cycle, so if you submit your voucher as soon as you buy the ticket or return from the trip the longest you have to wait is two weeks if you hit the wrong part of the cycle.

    2. Everywhere I have worked (smallest company was ~1000 people), there was an option to bill travel directly (usually for flights) or work with an Exec Assistant who has a corporate card. Putting corporate expenses on personal cards can also be a job perk. I get tons of points from my business travel that I then use for personal things. But I do realize this is a high burden for more junior staff members (thus the using a corporate card).

    3. I also get stabby about having to get an Amex card that I have to pay for (that has crazy short payoff times, which are horrid if you travel any), so I can’t get miles or points or anything, they make ME pay for the Amex (not some corporate account), and I have to use their crappy travel service which is either unresponsive, unprofessional, unhelpful, or has really long hold times. I book my own travel with zero hassle outside of work and I’d never pay an agent for service this lousy (for me, a good agent knows about places I’ve never been to before and don’t want to try to research on my own, and I’d gladly pay for that service).

      1. OMG. I think we work for the same employer. I hate AMEX and Concur, too. Itemizing hotel receipt charges (room rate, local tax, state tax, etc) is such a waste of my time.

        1. Same at my old company. At my most recent employer after that one, I got to use my own card, and now my miles are completely maxed out and I get hotel upgrades all the time. It really was like getting a pay raise.

    4. This is definitely not universal. My employer provides a corporate credit card to every employee who is expected to incur work expenses. All travel costs go on the corporate cards. If anyone who doesn’t have a card needs to pay for something, we either get them a card or use someone else’s in the interim.

      I do know some of my colleagues actually tried using their personal cards to obtain the points for their work travel, then submit the expenses for reimbursement. They were told to stop, apparently b/c the company earns travel points and the executives get to use them. So that part is a bit annoying, but maybe it’s an angle you can use in favor of getting company cards for company expenses?

      1. +1 everywhere I have worked has either issued me a T&E card and/or a P-card depending on my role. I actually got salty about it at first bc I wanted to accrue the points on my own card but it is not allowed, full stop.

      2. Yes, the OP must work in a crappy place. I never pay for any of my travel expenses. They get billed to the Firm’s AMEX Account, including room, food, entertainment travel expenses and incindentals while I am over where ever I am working out of office. One time I had to interview law students in Boston, and Lynn made all the arrangements from the car services to the train to the hotels and the restaurants, so all I had to do was show up, eat, interview 7 people, use the bathroom and come back; all within 48 hours! YAY!!!

    5. This is why corporate credit cards exist. If you travel often you demand one. If you travel rarely then you tell your manager you don’t have the cash on hand to float the flight and hotel costs, so they need to figure out how to book it on a company card.

    6. That’s on your employer. Companies absolutely can and do book travel arrangements on behalf of their employees. Companies can easily enough set it up so the only thing an employee would need reimbursement for are incidentals incurred during travel. They can even issue travel cards, locked down to only travel related merchant category codes, for individual travelers to hold and use for business travel.
      Weirdly, for every person who (correctly!) wishes the company would institute a travel program so employees don’t have to go out of pocket, there’s another who insists upon reimbursement, even though it’s a terribly outdated way of doing things. They’re usually higher-ups who are used to it, can afford to pay their balance whether or not the reimbursement hits in time, and like to churn card points. The bosses need to have the spine to tell these folks “NO”.

    7. In exchange for getting the miles / points associated with corporate travel for myself? I’ll take the trade.

    8. Why do you have to wait until the trip is over to expense your airfare? Can you not submit for it after purchasing?

      1. I have had to wait until I’ve taken the trip to expense airfare before. I guess because up until your flight things could change.

        1. In that case, I’d book last minute and the employe can deal with paying the higher fares.

          1. Eh but then you will always get the worst seats. Cutting off your nose to spite your face and all that.

          2. If you’re having to pay interest on these airfares that you won’t get reimbursed for, it seems worth it?

          3. Are you seriously trying to fight over the time value of like, a couple of thousand dollars at most, for like two weeks before a reimbursement clears? Because unless you’re not paying off your credit card, you’re not “paying” interest.

            Honestly, take those sweet points and miles for yourself and be grateful you don’t have to give them to Corporate Overlords.

          4. Definitely not worth it to me. I am no longer someone who can just sit on any seat on an airplane. I wish I could.

          5. I think the idea is not that you’re paying interest, but that the money could be earning interest for you in the bank. But that’s so trivial in most cases that it’s not worth worrying about. Say the airfare is $500, the interest on that for three months in even a high yield savings account is, what, a dollar or two? Not worth it.

    9. I currently have a corporate card, so I pay for nothing out of pocket. Tbh, I actually don’t like this because I’d rather put the expenses on my card, get the points, and then be reimbursed by my employer. On the occasion I have to pay for something on my own (once a hotel couldn’t run my corp card, so I had to put a $1,000 hotel stay on my personal), I’m reimbursed in the next pay period.

      The last 2 places I worked were set up where the employer (government, in my case) had a contract and would directly book flight / hotel. M&IE was paid for on your own card and reimbursed (slowly). I was very junior, made no money, and on a shoestring budget at this time, but I was okay with it since I didn’t have to float the major costs and got CC points.

      I think having employees front travel expenses is fine, as long as there’s a process for an employee who can’t afford to do so.

    10. This is common in higher ed and is especially egregious for students and other people making low salaries. When I was in grad school, I easily had travel expenses of 30% of my salary some years and was just expected to float them for months on end sometimes. Once I got sick and couldn’t go to a meeting, and then I didn’t get reimbursed at all, which sucked even more. It’s a huge problem and hard to deal with if you work at a state university, as there’s so much bureaucracy around travel.

        1. Students can’t, though, at least not at any place I’ve worked. And faculty actually can’t either at my current university, though my husband who is staff can.

          1. yeah, the hoops to jump through to get a corporate card at a university are substantial and students are viewed as not full employees who wouldn’t be eligible at all.

          2. Student travel is normally paid for by the sponsoring faculty member or the university though. As an undergrad and even grad student I never paid for any of my own travel expenses, at least not the big ticket items like flights and hotels.

          3. As a grad student, I always had to pay for the conference fee/hotel/registration myself and get reimbursed later from my boss. Then we received a per-diem for food, paid later.

            It was brutal. I had to save up for months to have enough cash and had to charge the rest. But stipends were much lower back then.

    11. I also have the option to get a corporate card.
      But I put everything on my personal cards for the points.

      1. I wish I was allowed to put things on my personal card and get reimbursed! I want the points!!!

        1. Same – unless you’re living paycheck to paycheck it’s hard for me to understand why you wouldn’t put things on your own card for the points.

          1. Yup! And if you are living paycheck to paycheck, then you have bigger issues than this. And I say this as one of the lower paid posters on this board.

          2. Most Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. This group can be so out of touch with reality.

          3. Most Americans don’t travel for work and certainly don’t spend $30k on it. The majority of white collar workers who fly regularly for work are not living paycheck to paycheck. The only exception I can think of is grad students.

    12. I work for a tiny company and everyone has a corporate card to use for company purchases, including travel.

    13. Honestly, unless youre new to the workforce and haven’t had time to build up savings, you should have enough in savings that you can float the travel expenses.

      If you pay off your CC every month, you’re not paying interest or incurring any additional expenses. You’re actually coming out ahead because you get the CC points or cash back. I am jealous of those who get to front their own travel, because I want the points!!

      About half of the places I’ve worked have had me front expenses and the other half have corporate cards. If this really isn’t working for you, express interest in getting a corporate card.

      1. I mean, I personally had $30k in outstanding travel expenses at one point – all for costs I paid but couldn’t get reimbursed for yet. That’s an extreme example, it’s usually closer to $5k, but even that is still a lot of money regardless of whether you’re fresh out of the workforce. It’s pretty dismissive to say oh you should be able to float that. You the employee shouldn’t HAVE to. No one should have to jeopardize being able to making a really great down payment, or paying for a cool summer camp, or helping an ageing parent – because they’re out of pocket thousands of dollars for months while their employer gives them nothing to compensate them for the loss of the use of that money for so long.

        1. You can’t get a corporate credit card? Other than the issue of students and universities identified above, I’ve never heard of someone not being able to get a corporate card. And if you’re a student you should talk to your professor.

        2. THAT is insane. 30k?!?! If you are either that frequent a traveler (or that high up on the totem pole you are traveling on private planes…), then you should have a corporate card for this.

          I would push back in your shoes. That is not reasonable.

          1. It doesn’t take private jets. A couple of international business class tickets will get you there easily. Airline prices are insane right now.

        3. ok, having reimbursement take months is the unusual and unfortunate problem here, not you being asked to front the costs per se.

    14. we have the option to use a corporate card but i like putting it on my personal card because i get to keep the chase points!

    15. That’s weird. We have a corporate credit card for all work expenses.I work in Asia.

      1. Oh and I still get the miles because the airline credits them to my account with the airline, not to a CCard account.

        1. People are talking about miles from spending, not flying. I earn ~200k airline miles per year and almost all of it is from credit card spending. I earn maybe 10% of those miles by flying.

          1. yeah- like for American, if you book on their cc and you’re sufficient status, you get like 10-11x the cost of your ticket in Loyalty Points. It really adds up!

    16. I have seen it done two ways:
      1) law firms + current job: no corp card and you just put expenses* on a personal card and submit for reimbursement. pros: travel points stay with employee, cons: management has to be very diligent about reviewing and approving expenses so that the employee isn’t stuck. *current job has a specific card all flights go on, so expenses doesn’t include flights.
      2) corp card: all expenses go on corp card, and reimbursement goes directly to card, but expense reimbursement process is the same where employee still has to go thru CONCUR or whatever to account for expenses. pro: not floating cost to employer, con: no points and have to make sure to use the “right” card for business costs (small point but during COVID I rarely used the CC and often had an “oh crap, where is it?!?” moment.)
      I see the biggest differences solved by diligent management honestly. no business should make its employees float expenses for more than a week or two.

      1. My law firm does the same as 1–flights on firm card, all other expenses on personal card. Hotels and car rentals typically don’t charge until you actually pick up car/stay in hotel, and the firm is good about quick reimbursements, so it’s usually not an issue.

      2. Yeah, every law firm I have worked for has required travelers to float the expense until after travel was completed. This included staff who had to travel internationally for long periods of time. One of my best friends was asked to pay for a weeks-long trip to Hong Kong as a paralegal. She was pretty young and did not even have credit sufficient to float that. The hoops to get an exception were crazy, though it was addressed.

    17. I work in government, and it’s always been standard (though we do get reimbursed pretty fast). I don’t love it but my managers have always been very helpful about any snafus or delays.

  7. How do you keep yourself from being derailed by meetings, e-mail, etc.? I am trying to finish up some work and keep getting interrupted by mini-crises of various sorts. Today I thought had a whole day to write but opened up my e-mail to a press inquiry, so I spent the morning conferring with my PR person and prepping for an interview that turned out to be a dead end. Now I am struggling to get back into writing mode. Whenever something like this comes up it wrecks my whole day. How do you quickly switch gears from dealing with e-mail, meetings, interviews, negotiations, etc. back to actual productive work, especially when the interruptions are high-stakes and/or contentious?

    1. following! i also struggle with this. the best thing i’ve found is to strictly limit the time that i’ll check email, texts, etc — i’ve made it clear to anyone who matters that they should call me in case of emergency.

    2. I handle this by doing personal stuff during work hours between meetings (errands, booking appointments, exercise-
      whatever doesn’t require deep thought – and then doing deep work during personal hours. It doesn’t work for everyone, but for me this has been the only thing that works.

      2. Ugh. This would probably work for me too, but I’m so resentful of the need to do it! It would mean no uninterrupted time off ever.

  8. has anyone tried Violette lipstick? (or: what’s your favorite lipstick if Violette is stalking you on the internet?)

    1. I have and it is my go-to. I don’t love the texture as much as others, but it is fine, not drying, and I find the color to be as close to “my lips but better” as any, so it is what I carry in my purse and put on when I feel like I need a little pick-up to my face

      1. I will note that I bought the stick version, not the liquid referenced below.

    2. Yes, and I wanted to love it but I never use it. It spreads/bleeds a lot and doesn’t stay nearly as well as my other liquid lipsticks. Also the color I got doesn’t work very well for me, but that’s on me, not the lipstick. Every time I’ve put it on I’ve ended up wiping it off before leaving the house.

  9. it feels quiet here today. are y’all getting a long weekend for Juneteenth too?

    5. I am off on Monday, but no fun plans because I have a wedding (which, a wedding will be fun. But, I can’t travel anywhere for the long weekend because of it)

    7. We have the Juneteenth holiday! Small law firm and it is both a federal and state holiday, so courts are closed.

    8. No holiday, even though it’s a state holiday and I work at a state university. The university is very stingy with holidays and there are many state holidays we don’t get. They’re generous with vacation and other PTO so I know I shouldn’t really complain, but I always get grumpy when I have to work on a state holiday because I am technically a state government employee!

      1. Do you have off between Christmas and New Year’s Day? Most public universities seem to save enough “state” holidays and then observe them during that winter break closure.

        1. Yes we do, so I know we come out ahead. But we’ve always had winter break, and Juneteenth was just made a holiday in my state last year and we didn’t get anything for it so it kind of feels like we’re being screwed out of an additional day.

          1. If you come out ahead with all the University holidays and breaks, maybe you’d be happier if you approached this as winning.

    10. Absolutely not, we only get 6 holidays as it is, including holidays that have been around for decades, no way we’re getting one as recently created as Juneteenth

  10. Home decor dilemma – I have stuff stored under my bed and would prefer to hide it. The bed is slatted so it seems like a bed skirt wouldn’t work well? Is there a good solution out there?

    1. lots of under-bed rubbermaid-type solutions. ikea had some cloth under-bed bags. depends what you want to store… i’d still go for a bed skirt. (why wouldn’t it work if it’s slatted? lots of bed skirts these days are like headbands, they only wrap around the bottom of the mattress. oh or do you mean like a platform bed?) you could also get like wicker baskets or something if you want to be fancier…

      1. Slats are laid into the frame, so a bed skirt (or dust ruffle, if you will) would have to wrap around where the slats are inserted into the frame. Normally you’d lay it the skirt over the box spring and put a mattress on top, but I only have a mattress and slats. I may try to macguyver it in place somehow, though. I found some creative solutions online that may be worth a go.

        1. Can you place a bedskirt (with split corners to fit around the frame’s legs, if needed) right over the slats rather than over the non-existent box spring? If you have footboard that gets in the way, you can often pull the bed skirt down between the slats and the footboard at the end of the bed, maybe cutting another split in the skirt if you have a center support to go around.

          Or perhaps just a very, very long strip of fabric that you attach with sticky-backed velcro somewhere under or behind the frame?

    2. This is what dust ruffles are for.

      Unsolicited rant: One used to be able to purchase sheets, pillow cases, duvet cover, dust ruffle, throw pillow cases that matched (same fabric and same color/pattern). Now, if you’re lucky, anything other than sheets and pillow cases is available in the same fabric only in white, if at all. I’m not talking about luxury linens here; I recall buying sets of all these components as recently as 15 years ago from reliable “bridge” brands like Wamsutta, Cannon, Martex, Fieldcrest. I can’t find lines with all these options at any price point now.

      Same issue with towels: One used to be able to buy matching (fabric and color/pattern) bath towels, bath sheets, washcloths, hand towels and bath mats. Good luck with that now. The last place I used to be able to do this was BB&B, their in-house Wamsutta line (they bought the name from the former owner, but I’m here to tell you that they did not buy the manufacturer quality). Even that is gone now.

      Similar issue with flatware: It is a challenge to find a pattern you like that offers not only 5 piece place settings (salad fork, regular fork, knife, tablespoon, teaspoon) AND offers additional individual pieces (dessert fork/spoon, demitasse spoon, grapefruit spoon, iced tea spoon) AND offers a full range of serving pieces. Gorham makes two patterns in stainless steel with all of these options. Happily, I liked one of them.

      I used to be able to walk into virtually any department store and see many, many options in all three contexts. I don’t understand what happened. And also, do people just use non-matching things?

      1. Having all of those things match and be in a color that isn’t white strikes me as kind of a dated look. Like there’s a reason you last found it 15 years ago.

        Also, demand just isn’t there for a bunch of unitasking utensils. Dedicated iced tea spoons?! You should probably follow estate sales as lots of people look to unload this type of massive set.

      2. No offense, but you sound like my mom :) She’s still upset that people don’t register for china, crystal, and silver anymore.

        I agree with Cat, the everything matching just isn’t “in” right now. I’m sure it will cycle back and you’ll have plenty of options, but for now it’s not stylish.

        Right now, things like throw pillows and serving pieces are purposely contrasting or statement pieces (patterned throw pillows against a plain bedspread +sheets and regular pillowcases, wooden serving pieces). People will choose purposefully eclectic (coordinating but not matching, if you will) flatware and serving ware.

        1. OP here. I hear you, Anons at 4:39 and 4:39. I am not saying “everything color X” but “most things color X” and “a couple items complementary color Y” but all in the same fabric with the same touch. I know. Still not your style. Just clarifying. Same with the table: all our flatware is the same, all the individuals’ dishes are white, all the serving pieces are one-offs (mostly ceramics from international travel). I just want the option, that’s all. Thanks.

          2. Oh my gosh. Thank you for pointing this out. The lack of accuracy on this site is such an issue. I spend a lot of time seething at the misleading statements people make here because they are not paying sufficient attention to detail.

      3. Also, I believe bedskirts and dust ruffles are the same thing. OP said that a bedskirt won’t work .

      5. you’re me except more expressive. I am 44 and just kind of grumble about a lot of these things under my breath while explaining them to my husband whose parents were younger and more hippie than my older boomer aspiring WASP parents.

      6. Ralph Lauren at Macy’s has good coordinated but not matching bed linens and good towel options. Replacements has flatware sets and add ons.

      7. Look, I’m 58 so I get you, but you’re sounding about 95 years old here. Things change. We move on.

      8. My rant is that I can no longer find shower curtains that coordinate with my bedding. IDK if it’s matchy matchy, I like it to coordinate.

  11. Had anyone considered retiring abroad as a permanent resident? Wondering which countries might be suitable for an English speaker without any family ties except in the US.

    1. No personal experience, but when I was getting ready for a trip to Costa Rica earlier this year and looked for travel books, I got a ton of hits for books on how to retire there. (One title: “Cut the Crap and Retire to Costa Rica,” LOL). I think there are a lot of North Americans especially on the (pricier) Pacific coast. It is a spectacularly beautiful place.

    2. We think about Israel. I don’t speak Hebrew, and it’s fine. Even in the healthcare setting, you can usually find someone whose English is nuanced enough to have a detailed conversation. I don’t worry about security there. Healthcare is good. Food is great. Prices are rational. At this point, the biggest risk is that Netanyahu might transform it into an autocracy.

      1. I’m Jewish but you could not pay me a million dollars to move to Israel. We have friends who had to move their (academics who don’t get much say in where they live) and their stories about life there are hair-rising. I’ve visited and it’s an interesting place to visit, but truly cannot imagine moving there voluntarily. I also don’t really understand the point about security. You’re presumably less likely to die in a mass shooting but way more likely to die in a terrorist attack.

        1. I have not seen an explicit comparison, but I bet that I am more likely, statistically, to be killed by gunfire in the US (regular crime or terrorism, domestic or international) than to be killed in a terrorist attack in Israel. I always feel very safe there.

          1. The US definitely has a much higher homicide rate overall but I think the risk to an individual is extremely dependent on where you live and what your lifestyle is. I feel perfectly safe in the US and felt very uncomfortable with all the machine guns in Israel even though rationally I understand they’re not a threat to me.

      1. +1 Portugal is one of the most popular destinations I think. I know three or four American couples who retired there without family connections.

        My dream retirement destination in Italy, specifically Tuscany. There’s a lot of affordable real estate there, and I speak conversant if not fluent Italian (and English is widely spoken in Tuscany). But the reality is we will almost certainly retire to wherever our kid lives, assuming she’s ok with that. I have gotten DH to agree to a month in Tuscany every summer once we’re empty-nesters (we can work from anywhere in the summers).

      2. Yep! They moved in June 2021 and are loving it. They are in a small town rather than one of the British / American expat enclaves, which they prefer. My mom is a whole new person after retiring, and they’ve made both local and expat friends.

      1. Definitely not the UK. You can’t move there for retirement without citizenship or marrying a British citizen.

    5. I posted on the news round up but will share thoughts again. You might consider what ages you plan to be living abroad and the level of specialty healthcare access. My parents stayed in the US but retired to a beautiful part of Washington state that’s a 3 hour drive from a major city. In their 70s, they both had major health scares where they preferred seeking out specialty care through specific medical centers in the city. The drive was cumbersome dealing with treatments/surgeries, and they’ve moved back to being within 30 minutes of a major city. I know this is fairly privileged as much of the US doesn’t have access to that kind of specialty treatment. However, if it’s something you can afford, you should consider the vagaries of health as you age and how long you’d want to stay abroad. All those charming hillside towns in Europe are also pretty far from major medical centers and also built on being very healthy, able to walk your cart to the grocery store. I imagine specialty care varies a lot as you look at cheaper countries to live in.

      2. Agreed.

        I also think you shouldn’t dismiss how hard it can be to move away from all your friends and family. Some people make new friends easily as adults, but it can be challenging for a lot of people, especially when you don’t have a job or school age kids. Social connections are so incredibly important for brain health as you age. I’m all about frequent travel to charming European villages, but when it comes to where I live, I want to be near family and close friends.

      3. My parents lived (quite happily) in a remote-ish beach town for about 15 years, and have recently moved to my sibling’s city. I think that the distances (and all the driving) were fine until it wasn’t anymore. FWIW, it wasn’t a bad financial decision for them to make the initial move. Housing prices have skyrocketed in their beach town so they made quite a bit off of the sale of their house.

    6. I know friends who are doing it but I’m close with my young adult kids who wouldn’t be able to make the move, so I will stay here so I can see them all the time.

  12. can i just say that sometimes 2 factor auth annoys the crap out of me? like who is trying to pay my mortgage except me?

    1. Seconded. It is so freaking annoying. I’m also trying to grab my phone less during the day and it interferes with that.

    2. I have no problem with it for my bank account or 401k. I absolutely hate the security Verizon puts on their website. I truly have no idea why it’s set up that way.

    3. This annoys me to no end! I get it for transferring money to new payees but transferring money between my own accounts is ridiculous. Same thought, the bank is protecting me from someone else timely paying my bills? I call that a DISservice!

    4. i don’t mind it for banking… but OpenTable and Resy can GTFO with the text codes every time I want to use them!!!

    5. I was all for it until the day I forgot my cell phone at home and couldn’t log into my office computer. I was so mad I couldn’t get through a day without my cell phone! Older millennial so I remember a time when we weren’t tethered to electronic devices.

      1. In a corporate environment, if you call help desk they can usually give you a temporary token to use. They plan for cases like that.

    6. It’s also a pain when you want to share access to accounts with a spouse. Even if you share passwords, it’s a pain dealing with things like utilities, phone, internet, FSA, banks, etc. because of this. These are things that we should both have access to but there isn’t a good way to set them up so that multiple people can access them anymore.

    7. I don’t like it because it’s so hard to do so many tasks without my cell phone. I’m 27 but if I’m not actively using my phone, I don’t keep it with me. I frequently have to get up and go into the other room to get my phone to log on to so many different websites.

      I understand it for banking or other sensitive websites. I don’t get it for innocuous ones, but so many innocuous sites require it!!

    8. For real. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the billing from the lab my doctor uses. They send you a bill with a code you can use to pay online without having to create an account and have to keep track of yet another password.

      1. This. And MFA has prevented our company from getting hacked on more than one occasion.

  13. who are your favorite influencers, for office clothes or anything else? feel like i need to add some new ones to my list.

    1. I don’t follow influencers. I wouldn’t know where to start. But I do like to read Who What Wear for all aspects of attire.

    3. She’s pivoted away from workwear a bit, but I still like Jean @extrapetite. Even though I’m 6′ tall, lol. I think she has a classic but still up to date style plus she seems like a nice, down to earth person compared to many influencers.

    4. I like W Magazine and Harper’s Bazaar for thoughtful fashion advice. I don’t follow the microtrend influencers.

    5. Hannah Martin and Sali Hughes for makeup and skincare. This place and the directrice for workwear. I don’t really visit a lot of websites anymore save those two, and I haven’t really found any clothing/style influencers that really speak to me on IG. I’m too impatient for YouTube videos.

      I’m a beauty pie member and I watch most of Marcia’s Sunday long form IG videos to find out about the products and what’s new.

    6. I’ve really liked DresswithDani (tiktok) or _dresswithdani (instagram). She mainly features work clothes and they’re very approachable.

  14. I’m the poster who asked about biopsies a little while back and just wanted to follow up with good news. Everything seems to be fine and it wasn’t as painful an experience as I imagined. Still stressful, but I guess better stressed than sorry. I saw the posts about mean comments this morning and just wanted to say how much I still find this place to be the most helpful on the intern*t even if there are some cranky posters here and there. Your empathy when I was panicking meant a lot. Thinking of one of the other posters who had this coming up too. Hope you get good news also.

    Would love to hear any other goods news y’all might have. Happy weekend!

    5. So glad for you, blessings and wishing you much happiness personally and professionally! Shock: Stage 4 lung, lung removed, metasticized to blood/nodes, prognosis: 3-4 yrs to live w targeted therapy, 6% chance of living 5 years.But I am choosing to believe I will be completely healed as it is the only way I can get through this emotionally as I have been not in a good space since recieving the news. Started drug today. Anyone here have similar experience that might be willing to share what helped them physically and emotionally? Alternatively, happy to visit off this blog if someone is so inclined. Thanks in advance. So grateful for this community and the kindness of readers!

    1. Yes. The funny thing is the dress I could work with, and would enjoy the ease/comfort, but would style it very differently.

      1. It’s really the tan, the hair and the makeup (and the prominent Starbucks!). The shoes, jewelry and bag (from what I can see of it) aren’t what I’d choose but I don’t think they’re the real issue.

    2. I am interested in this dress, but for newborn photos where I know I’ll be a mess and won’t know my dress size. This seems like prime nap dress territory :)

    3. Haha, strong agree. Not the tan, the extensions, the hair color overall, the sugary coffee-based drink, the shoe with no back. Purse and shoe color = okay!

  16. Anyone have recent experience buying a Toyota Corolla hybrid or similar car? My parents are on the wait list for one. The dealer said they should get one within a month because they’re flexible on color, but a quick google has made me skeptical…seems like a lot of people are reporting waits of 6-12 months (or more!)

    (And if anyone is wondering why I’m so invested in my parents’ car-buying process, it’s because we’re buying their current car once they get a new one. So I’m wondering when I’ll get my new-to-me car haha.)

    1. My husband recently got a Toyota RAV4 hybrid, and delivery was exactly as predicted. He loves it, by the way.

  17. I’m likely going on a business trip to Saudi Arabia this year for an international conference. I’ve travelled to plenty of conservative places, but this will be the most. Anyone (especially women) ever travel there? Aside from tops with no cleavage/shoulders covered, what do I need to know to be respectful? Do I need wide leg pants? Head coverings everywhere or just outside/public places?

    1. I just went a few months ago, and it really depends on where in SA you will be. I was in Riyadh, and there were tons of women who didn’t cover at all (Myself included). Women were in skinny jeans, long dresses, etc. But Riyadh itself is very modern and I felt zero issues being uncovered. Jeddah is supposed to be more traditional, and whenever I travel in the middle east I bring a scarf everywhere just in case. Its a really amazing place though – have a wonderful trip!

  18. ‘Tis the season for… chafing. Anyone have a fav pair of shorts for under skirts or dresses that won’t roll and are comfortable? TIA!

    1. Thigh Society. Love the cooling ones, wear them all the time in the very hot and humid SEUS.

    2. I usually get the old navy cotton bike shorts for this. They come in a pack of 3, and save me from being completely uncomfortable.

      1. I tried men’s shorts but I have too much junk in the trunk so the waistband doesn’t lie right on me.

  19. I want to turn the reach-in closet in my bedroom into an alcove with custom closet units that have a combination of hanging spaces, drawers, and shelves, some open and some behind doors. I’m on a budget but pretty handy. Best places to buy quality closet units? I’ve done Elfa type units in the past, and that’s not what I’m looking for. I want wardrobe type units.

    1. Do some searches to find suppliers of semi custom cabinets in your area. You can hack them into a unit.

    2. We have IKEA pax wardrobes and they are great. Lots of places online make doors to fit this line if you don’t like ikeas options.

    3. I DIY’d my own via intense measuring sessions, taping out the planned layout and adjusting until everything fit, then sourcing compatible components from my local big box stores and online at Amazon and Zoro tools. I first did my kid’s closet, and was so happy with it that I did my own the following weekend. That was pre-pandemic and I still LOVE our closets. Exactly the storage we wanted, no wasted space, and the supplies themselves were about two hundred bucks all-in for both closets. Installation was way easier than planning.

  20. I swear I saw a Monday post up today and then it disappeared – anyone else?

    FWIW most people I know do not have today off (private companies, not government).

      2. Split household: the one who works at a nonprofit is off, the one at a big company is working.

    3. I saw the post too around 9:15, there were a few comments on it. You’re not imagining things!

    4. I think I saw it but it may have been Tuesday?
      My commute was slightly lighter than normal from the Chicago suburbs, but our corporate office building including restaurants on the ground floor) was locked up. My company is having a speaker at lunch time but otherwise it’s a relatively normal day.

    5. I thought I saw a post this morning too! I’m working but I know a lot of people who are off and none of them are in government.

    7. I’m surprised by which companies have the day off where I live! The non-profit I work at does not and neither does our state or city government.

    8. My very conservative company is not even acknowledging the existence of Juneteenth much less giving anyone the day off. But we get Good Friday off so everyone can observe, of course.

      1. This reminds me of the awful law firm I worked at that gave Columbus Day off but not MLK Day. It really sent a message and in this case the message was very accurate (many people there were super racist).

      2. The one advantage of Good Friday is that it’s always in late March or April, which has a dearth of holidays. The back half of the year is stacked – Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, day after Thanksgiving, often Christmas Eve, Christmas, and usually NYE. Sure, New Years Day is technically in the first half of the year, but it’s right after the holiday bonanza of November/December.

        By the time March rolls around, I’m more than ready for a three day weekend, for whatever reason.

        1. I agree it would be nice to have a holiday in March, but as a Jewish person I’m really bothered by making Good Friday a holiday and not giving any time off for Passover (they sometimes overlap but not always). I think a floating holiday is a better bet.

    9. My conservative state and my conservative leaning firm both have a holiday today, though I’m in the office trying to stay on top of my caseload.

    10. In my area, it’s not a state government holiday or a holiday for most private employers, but it’s a city holiday, which means the libraries and the city’s parks and rec summer camp are closed. It’s tough for parents with elementary school age kids. I’m WFH right now while the kids have too much screentime and am hoping to knock off by 3 pm and take them to the pool.

      1. You might use this as a lobbying point to encourage your company and your state to recognize this federal holiday!

        1. They don’t care, lol. I think I’d have more luck lobbying the camp to open since most working parents in my area don’t have the day off. And there are other private camps in my area open today but the parks and rec camp has the best schedule for working parents (open all summer except holidays, 7:30-5:30) and is super cheap and close to my house so in the big scheme of things this one day inconvenience is worth putting up with.

        2. Or your lobbying may become a “performance” issue highlighted in your next review.

    11. My daughter is in grad school and has the day off but has to make up for it by having class on Friday when they usually don’t. But it’s an intensive program so it makes sense they need to make up for lost time.

      I’m self employed so I’m taking the day off as well.

    12. I’m in TX so you bet my small employer is not observing this holiday.

      But I am also working from home because the nanny had a training to attend for her teaching job, and there’s not a lot to do even if I were in the office, so I guess I’m getting it by default.

    13. I work for a ( maybe thee) top beauty company in the world and I am off. And they didn’t subtract a day from another holiday either. They added a net new holiday, Very proud and grateful to have the time to reflect on the meaning of Juneteenth.

  21. For real- how do you manage email? If you’re looking at an inbox of 400+ items (from clients/partners, not listserv garbage), how do you tackle it? I got buried in early June, was starting to get on top of things but then was out two days last week, taking the holiday to try and dig myself out, and I just – everything feels behind and overwhelming.

    1. First, sort everything in Outlook by subject so you’re seeing all related emails together, and file/delete/deal with emails as a thread all at once.

      1) File away the things that are FYI without reading them. If I ever actually need to know the information, I can go back and find the email.

      2) File away anything that is more than 2 weeks old and doesn’t have a specific discernible action item for me pending – presumably someone else took care of it or, if it’s that important, the sender will follow up.

      3) If there are things that don’t need immediate action but will require action at some point in the future, put a calendar entry on that future date to “Do XYZ,” and file away the email.

      4) Likewise if there are emails with asks that are going to take a significant block of time to respond to, block a time on your calendar to, e.g., “Analyze and send comments on XYZ proposal.” File the email with the ask away.

      5) You should be getting down to short triage type emails at this point. If you can respond to something in under 5 minutes, do so, without proofreading or over-analyzing or being 100% comprehensive – the goal is to get the ball out of your court. If something is unclear, the person can follow up with more questions.

    2. agree with everything said in Anonie’s list. I’ll add i sometimes do a sort first by person, to see if i can clear out certain people quickly/ or tackle high priority individuals. My other advice is to do it in evening or on weekend when people aren’t online, put on a movie i like but have seen a lot as background noise (for me it’s weirdly lord of the rings). No clue why it helps, but it does.

    4. Hahahaha. I don’t. Shrug.

      More power to those who do, but I have never done it and it’s worked fine for me!

  22. Any recs for men’s suits in the $500 range? My partner is in desperate need of a new one.

    2. If there’s a men’s wearhouse near you, they will usually have some good options there and some deals, too.

  23. Can anyone share their experience with Paxil? I had to stop taking hormone replacement because of blood clot concerns before and after surgery. My gyno suggested paxil to help with hot flashes. Has anyone had especially good or bad experiences taking Paxil? I could probably benefit from the anti-anxiety part too, to be honest.

    1. I took it for anxiety. It was effective but tapering off was brutal and I swore never again.

    2. Curious why she didn’t consider Effexor, which I think has more evidence for benefit and is also useful for anxiety?

      Sorry – I can’t help with your question though. I am just curious because my history is not dissimilar to yours, and I’m seeing my menopause GYN this week to talk about treatment.

    3. Thanks for the replies. I’m going to give it a try- I’ll report back if my outcome is extra good or bad.

  24. Anyone have a freestanding outdoor clothesline that they like? We have a nice, open spot in our back yard that seems great for hanging things to dry but I don’t want something permanently installed since I may need to relocate it if it turns out that spot is in the sphincterless-bird flight path.

    1. I loved using a clothesline growing up. There was nothing nicer than clean sheets dried in the breeze.

      I have been considering putting a line up in my backyard, as we used to have one. We literally just used a rope tied between our garage and house, with hooks that are secured on the garage/house. Simple knots on each end.

      1. I wish I could do this! Unfortunately we don’t have a second anchor point that doesn’t route a line straight through the drop zone. The birds are just so messy that I’m tempted to rig up an indoor solution. But a portable/freestanding thing would at least let me take it outside and try to find a spot out of the bullseye.

    2. I just rigged one up between several trees using stainless steel hooks and knot tying skills from Girl Scouts. I seldom use the drier and it’s served me well for several years now. West Marine is convenient for all sizes and shapes of stainless steel hardware.

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