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What sneakers are you guys liking in the NAS? There are a TON of them (and the loafers, my goodness) — the blue version of this sneaker caught my eye because, well, blue, but then I was especially intrigued to see that it's almost entirely sold out in the blue except for lucky sizes. That's usually the sign of both a trendy shoe, as well as a really comfortable one — so now I'm even more interested in the black version. Hmmn.
The shoe is currently marked down to $149, but it'll be $245 after the sale ends on 8/6.
(If your size is 10+ you might want to check out the selection of 574 New Balance sneakers in the sale — lots of nice colors.)
{related: we recently rounded up our favorite sneakers for work outfits}
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Anonymous
I’m a young early career mid-level employee and keep getting assigned to work with a specific accounting tech who is late-career, territorial, fake-friendly (regularly smiles through meetings and then turns around and complains to the next person about the last person), and frankly just difficult to work with because of her personality and discomfort with change. Our manager is aware of these deficits – mentions them in meetings with me while assigning me projects with her – but is doing nothing that I’m aware of to coach her. It’s not really my problem whether she’s getting coaching, I’m just so frustrated trying to work on projects and being asked things like “Why are you bringing this up, I’ve been working on it” and getting emails that convey a degree of frustration with me for interactions that are outside of my control (other people in our company taking info and running with it). I do my best but I’m tired of not being in charge and having to maintain a reputation for being easy to work with so I keep getting assigned things. I keep looking for jobs but the pickings are slim in my line of work and I have golden handcuffs to boot.
Anon
I think this is one of those things that is unpleasant but you have to learn to deal with. You’ll likely encounter many more people like this in your career.
Anonymous
I think this is one of those things that is unpleasant but you have to learn to deal with. You’ll likely encounter many more people like this in your career.
Anon
This is just part of being in the workforce
helloanon
This is definitely a part of office life, and as I’ve progressed in my career have actually come to appreciate some of the difficult people I worked with while junior because they helped me develop coping and communication skills.
My best advice is to disengage. This person is a curmudgeon; it’s not personal. Don’t let it get to you (easier said than done). And do not engage with them on the silly stuff. If she sends you an email complaining about something someone else did, ignore the jabs and respond on substance. If she gossips to you in person about someone else, change the subject to something work related. And be strategic about how and when you communicate. In one of your examples, she seems annoyed that you checked in about a project. If you’re not their manager, many people would be a little put off by a colleague checking in with them unnecessarily. Not saying that’s you, just suggesting you think about it. If there is a piece of a project you are leading with her, be clear and upfront at the beginning about timelines and set a midway point to check in on progress. Otherwise, don’t micromanage unless she’s demonstrated that she blows deadlines.
Finally, your boss doesn’t seem great either – rather than talking to you about another employee’s issues (inappropriate), they need to manage this person and problem solve. You can manage up by looping them into issues and asking them for advice on specific situations you’re facing with this person. And continue the job hunt :) Best of luck there!
Anon
Great advice.
Anonymous
This is great advice, thank you.
Cb
Signed a contract and submitted my resignation! I’m so sad to leave my current employer and feel quite a bit of trepidation about the role, but I’ll be glad to lose my status as my local airline’s best customer…
AIMS
Congrats!
blueberries
Congratulations!
Senior Attorney
Woo hoo! Best of luck with the new venture!!
Anon
Congratulations!!
Jules
Go, you!
Hellooooooo
Congratulations CB!!
ArenKay
This is awesome! Congratulations.
Coach Laura
Congratulations!
Vicky Austin
Yay, yay, yay!!! The role will be great since you won’t have so much of your brain taken up by your plane commute!
Anonymous
Has anyone tried the Marycrafts brand of suits or pants on A–zon? They look like they could work for some office-wear (but probably not court). They have good reviews, so might be worth a try.
Any other workwear from A–zon that you’ve been surprised by or really like? I have a blazer from The Drop that is quite good quality.
anon
The LaClef maternity dresses were great when I was pregnant. Decent quality, really accentuated the bump and slimming otherwise.
Anonymous
I like all the workout clothes I’ve gotten from them – baleaf and syrokan I think
Ok tees/dresses from anrabess
I got the muxxn dress everyone loves in the former LawMa group on FB but it was very bodycon – decent quality but I’d have gone up 2 sizes if I needed it.
Anon
Ha! Very on topic as I am looking for a sneaker. Can anyone recommend a cute sneaker that will be durable on grass/occasional bad weather but isn’t too athletic? Like I’m not looking for a running shoe, but I’ll be volunteering a lot at a table on grass. Something with the look of the Cole Haan grand pro sneaker but I can’t wear those with rain in the forecast as they are leather. Bonus points if the sneaker is black.
Anon
I should add that the reason I’m looking for a “cute” sneaker is because after volunteering on the grass, I will attending an event. This will be a recurring thing.
AIMS
Google waterproof sneakers. Lots of possibilities.
These aren’t bad – https://www.zappos.com/p/sorel-out-n-about-iii-low-sneaker-waterproof-black-sea-salt-1/product/9712686/color/986222
Also a brand called Vessi comes up that looks cute and comfy.
Anon
I’d skip sneakers and get something like Blundstones, or Thursday Captain. They are plenty comfy for long days on your feet and fine to get wet.
Anon
Blundstones are perfect for this. They’re so comfortable.
Anonymous
Ewww. So hot and heavy
Anon
First of all, the OP asked about bad weather and I have yet to wear a sneaker that holds up in bad weather.
Secondly, the OP didn’t say she needed something for summer. She also did not mention her climate. Yes, I would not wear Blundstones to something like this now, but I also probably wouldn’t wear sneakers either (they’re also hot in the summer!). I would wear Birks in the summer (unless the activity requires her to be in closed toe shoes) and Blundstones in the fall, winter, and spring.
IME, the sneakers that are comfortable for tabling events are not cute enough to be worn to an event after. Cute sneakers are not comfortable enough for a multi hour event.
Anon
I live in FL and wear boots all year round. After a point, hot is hot no matter what you’re wearing if it’s a closed heel/toe shoe. If there’s rain in the forecast, I’d rather be hot and dry than hot and soaked, so boots (Thursday Vanguard) it is. Wool blend socks are a big part of all year round comfort.
Gail the Goldfish
How cute you find them probably depends on your tastes, but I have a pair of Plae sneakers that I bought specifically because they were waterproof. Mine are about four years old, but it looks like the current version is the Ecols. They don’t have a ton of cushion so you wouldn’t think they would be that comfortable, but they actually are. I took them on a trip to Italy and walked around a bunch and was fine.
Anon
Try googling “women’s lifestyle sneaker black” or same only with “black sole” to get a range of options. Only you know how sporty your tolerance is, but black with a black sole looks less athletic, as do slip-ons.
Of Counsel
I am not sure they qualify as “cute” but take a look at the Allbird Mizzles. They hold up well to damp/wet ground.
Cat
If you’re in warm weather, I’d wear supportive flip flops (like Reefs with arch support) or Birks rather than sneakers – is there a reason you want sneakers specifically?
Cat
Miss the edit button – plastic Birks. Sneakers just get sodden and gross in rain even if the fabric wouldn’t be ruined IMHO!
NEsprin
Cole Haan Grand pro comes in a fabric variant
Worried
I love the new balance 327s and I’ve been stopped and complimented by younger people when wearing them. At first, I couldn’t get them to fit…they felt a bit bigger than the 574s, but I added an orthotic and padding, and walk tons in them on gravel, forest, concrete. They are very durable…and did I say I have another pair waiting for me in store for pickup:)
Sneaks
Nike Pegasus Goretex or a similar Goretex sneaker.
Ellen
Years and Years ago I had a pair of REEBOK’s that had GORETEX which made them water proof, and they lasted almost forever –throughout my highschool and college, and I almost wanted to use them in law school, but they ran out of tread, and the waterproofing of GORETEX made them smelley to the point that I had to put Baby Powder in them each time I put them on and took them off, and needless to say, this would not be a way of finding a man if I went to his place and took off my REEBOKs–I think that would be it romantically, unless he had a foot fetish like my Alan did. FOOEY! LITERALLY!
I am late to the party, but I am surprised no one has mentioned HOKA’s! They are the latest craze and both of my Grandmas wear them as well as Dad, tho Mom hasn’t caught on and still wears these clunky shoes from the 1970’s, but she is obviously not man-hunting like the rest of us. HOKAs are not cheap, but they run the gammut, from fashionable to clunky and everything in between. I prefer the clunkier ones at my age, because I have a pair with treads that grip, w/o having to worry if I step into poopie in the park or on the street, b/c I can just soak the bottoms in 1/2 inch of water overnight to dislodge the poopie w/o having to give them to Luz to give to her daughter, and at $150/pair, I really can’t afford to step into poopie with any other sneakers, like my Nike Air’s! DOUBEL FOOEY!
Anon
First – OP asked for sneakers for grass and occasional bad weather. Whether for aesthetics or because she does not like her toes or because she needs something she can move in more easily than sandals or that is lighter than a boot. I am pointing this out because I have noticed a trend of people ignoring the OP’s requests to propose something completely different. It has happened to me and it is rather condescending. I suspect it is also the reason so many people write novels to explain their simple requests.
Second – I am not sure it would work but I actually love Keds or some other light-weight canvas sneaker for this. They are inexpensive, easily washed if they get dirty, and go with a lot of different looks.
Anon
And you can buy keds in leather if you are worried about the canvas holding up to wet grass in the morning.
Travel Recs
Hi all! I might be too late in the day but looking for travel recommendations. DH and I are looking for a waterfront hotel/lodge/cabin in early September for around $300/night or less. We’re coming from Philly, willing to fly or drive, and I just want to relax on a lake or rocky coastline and not be overheated. Think Maine, Nova Scotia, finger lakes…open to any recommendations! Thank you!
AIMS
The Sagamore in Lake George is lovely and prices in September should be around 300$ if you time it right.
Anonymous
Really highly unlikely you will find the sagamore for $300 a night ever. More like 600
Anon
I just checked and the first dates that I tried in September came up at $297. Of course, that is not including taxes etc.
Anon
My daughter is home from college and wants to do some reading for fun. She asked for a romance that was well-written and not YA style. I recommended Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler (a modernization of Taming of the Shrew) and she LOVED it.
Any other recommendations in that vein?
Jules
Romantic Comedy
Love on the Brain
The Rosie Project
Eligible (Curtis Sittenfeld’s modern take on Pride & Prejudice, with TV dating shows and “hate s*x”)
AIMS
I loved Eligible! Also loved Pride by Ibi Zonoi, which is technically YA but written really well and I loved it (reading as an adult).
Romance adjacent but so well done and one of my all time favorites: I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith.
For more generic contemporary romance I liked Book Lovers and Beach Read by Emily Henry (i found People We Meet on Vacation super boring though and I haven’t read her newest one).
Anom
I really enjoyed I Capture the Castle as well! Great recommendation!
Anom
Nora Goes Off Script
Author’s new book is Same Time Next Summer, but I haven’t read it yet. I loved Eligible and Romantic Comedy, too.
Cat
Unpopular opinion but I didn’t like the Curtis Sittenfeld books. The modernizing made them feel dumbed-down to me. What about the OG Pride & Prejudice? I read that as a high schooler for class but then as I got older it got better.
Anon
She has read that and we’ve watched both the 1995 and 2005 films together!
Anon
Only one of Sittenfeld’s books is a modernization of a classic (Eligible) and I agree it’s not great. That’s my least favorite book of hers. But I love her books in general.
Cat
Oh good to know, I thought that was her ‘thing’ so I’ll try a different one!
Anonymous
I like georgette heyer
Kat
Its not a romance per se, but I loved the book Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
Anon
All of Edith Wharton’s catalog
Anon
Replying to myself—sorry, not exactly romance but my college age daughter devoured Edit Wharton.
Anan
If she likes Pride and Prejudice spin offs, I recently enjoyed Pride and Protest by Nikki Payne. I hear she also has a sense and sensibility novel.
Sonali Dev also has a series of Austen inspired books. I really enjoy her writing too.
Anonymous
Spymaster’s lady – I read it after someone here called it one of the best books they’d ever read, romance or no
Try ravishing the heiress or another of hers – sherry Thomas I think
Book lovers
Loved Kate Canterbury’s last 2, something about jam and the one about ER docs
Anon
Georgette heyer.
Anon
Reposting:
Confession time: What are you most excited about having bought in the Prime Day sale, if you bought anything?
And separate question, spurred by all of these posts re skin products: what is your holy grail, can’t live without skin or beauty product? Why? What type of skin do you have?
Anonymous
I try really hard not to buy anything there to not enrich Bezos the clown any more but DH bought a tushy squatty potty for 1/2 off and I’m not mad about it because I’m so excited for a more aesthetically pleasing squatty potty
Anon
It wasn’t part of a prime day sale, but I did buy it during prime day. I started doing subscribe & save for Horizon chocolate milk so that I can have single serve chocolate milk (easier for when I’m at the gym or on a trail) easily available after a workout. I like that the Horizon is shelf stable so I don’t have to fit all 18 cartons into my apartment sized fridge.
—–
My two favorite skincare products are both dupes I bought instead of a pricer alternative.
1) I switched from Paula’s Choice BHA Liquid Exfoliant to the Sephora Collection Resurfacing Peel Mask as my chemical exfoliant. The mask is half of the price of the Paula’s Choice and I think it makes my skin look even better.
2) I switched from Supergoop Glow Screen to e.l.f Suntouchable Whoa Glow. It’s also about half of the price as the original, and has more shimmer. Like Glow Screen, it also has SPF.
Both products (and my natural tan in the summer, despite wearing lots of SPF) make my skin look so good right now that I’m skipping foundation all together and just wearing Whoa Glow (partially because it makes my skin look great, partially because the Sephora Collection peel is doing wonders for my skin).
texasanon
I bought some boring things like conditioner and hand soap during prime days. I did finally decide to pull the trigger on a Waterpik during the sale but I decided I wanted one with the full water pressure and so I didn’t go with the one that was on sale.
_________________
My two skin care products are
1. Tosowoong’s Enzyme Powder Wash – This is a dry powder that when you add water will melt any/all makeup off your face without being too drying/stripping.
2. First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream moisturizer
I have seriously dry skin although I also have started breaking out in my 30s for some reason. I have to use a heavy moisturizer and can’t use anything drying.
Anonymous
I drank that chocolate milk when I was pregnant. Its a good option.
Betsy
Combination skin, pale and prone to redness and unevenness, 30’s – my absolute favorite product is Sunday Riley Good Genes. It’s a higher price point than I usually go for and sometimes I decide to stop using it. When I pick it back up again I catch myself in the mirror and I’m surprised at how good my skin looks. Lactic acid is the primary ingredient, but I think the secondary ingredients are bringing a lot to the party because I do not get the same effect from the Ordinary lactic acid.
Anonymous
Same skin type, same experience. It’s also the only thing that helps the red bumpy skin along my jaw line and under my chin. I assume the alin condition is kp, which I have on my arms, but the skin is too sensitive for kp treatments.
Anon
I just ordered ho-hum household stuff I would have eventually ordered anyway, and yes, I did check the price I last paid for it to make sure it was a good deal. I chose the slow-boat shipping for everything since it was nothing we needed right away, so it hasn’t yet arrived.
Anon
Prime, on a lightening sale for Prime Day, Aloha protein bars. Mixed box with PB cup and cookie something.
Anon
I didn’t buy anything on Prime day but my holy grail products are the following:
1) Laneige Lip Mask. Expensive but worth it. I try to buy on sale. Even my bf loves it!
2) Anastasia brow wiz or the NYC dupe. I look so much more put together when I use a brow pencil.
3) Skinceuticals tinted sunscreen. It doubles as makeup for me plus SPF 50. My skin looks great after using. I am mid 30’s and have combination skin with some discoloration.l from sun damage.
bird in flight
I really didn’t want to but then I really wanted glass shot glasses (for batch making homemade turmeric shots) and then because I needed a $15 item I was like wth might as well buy the Eufy $280 self emptying robot vacuum because it was 30% off. Make that math make sense.
bird in flight
Type of Skin: problematic and hormonal, annoying. :)
my holy grail skin/beauty products:
Hair
John Frieda Frizz Ease Secret Weapon Anti-Frizz Styling Creme
Kenra Platinum Silkening Gloss
Skin
Olay Regenerist Moisturizer
Versed Doctor’s Visit Instant Resurfacing Mask
The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid
Body Lotion/Fragrance
Sol de Janeiro Bum Bum Cream
Makeup
Lancôme Dual Finish Multi-Tasking Lightweight Pressed Powder Foundation
Anon
Hahhaa that was an expensive $15!
Anon
A bassinet and park and play. Neither of which are particularly fun, but I hope will be useful after my baby’s born this fall
Anon
* pack and play. Don’t know what that autocorrect was about
Anonymous
We got a ton of use out of both. Pack and play still used occasionally, Bassinet was amazing until she outgrew it. Definitely good Prime Day purchases.
Cb
Nothing here, except for a hirigana workbook for my son. He’s 6 and obsessed with japanese writing and I’m counting on it keeping him busy for a few hours.
Formerly Lilly
Prime: Coway HEPA air purifier (wirecutter rec)
Skincare HG: from May Lindstrom – Youth Dew serum, Jasmine Garden facial mist, Honey Mud mask, Clean Dirt exfoliator, and Happy Galaxy body oil (which I cut into Kiehls unscented body lotion in lieu of taking up bank robbery to afford my Happy Galaxy habit). The rest of my skincare is bits and pieces of Juice Beauty and Moonjuice.
Anon
I ordered one tube of sulfur face mask, which was 50% off in the Prime Day sale, and they shipped me three tubes (order arrived today). I checked the order and I most definitely only ordered one tube. Should I try to get ahold of someone at Amazon to return the two extraneous tubes? Or is this a “hahaha suck it Bezos” situation?
Anon
Keep them!
Anon
even if you were able to contact someone, they would say just keep them.
Cat
I did not buy anything from Prime Day. I was tempted by a TV but then found out Best Buy had the same one on regular sale for within $10 and was like… not going to be tricked by the sense of urgency.
Skin product – the Fresh soy cleanser. I love it for my combination skin.
Anon
+1 not a big “stuff” person in general and specifically try to avoid A-zon.
Anonymous
I bought a metal detector, a walking pad and one of those little mini fridges. I don’t know which I’m more excited about.
Anon
I bought a water pic flosser based on a recommendation here the other day!! Can’t wait to try it!
Anonymous
I love the 9 wishes foaming rice wash – just enough exfoliation – but I get it from Walmart
Kinky curly/knot today shampoo and conditioner from target (curly 2c/3a)
For prime day I barely remember what I bought, lots of boring normal stuff. New plant stand and a very thin/muslin throw blanket.
Anon
I’m missing Mare of Easttown. Looking for a good crime or mystery miniseries that isn’t scary, preferably with good characters and most importantly, a good mystery. I have most streaming services.
Lily
The British ones are the best (and arguable Mare was based on them – lots of lead female detectives) – most are on Netflix, some on Britbox or Amazon Prime.
*Happy Valley
*Broadchurch
*Line of Duty
*Unforgotten
*Endeavour
Anonymous
I enjoyed the British series Vigil, about a woman detective investigating a murder on a submarine. There was one violent scene I couldn’t watch but it’s otherwise not too scary.
Anonymous
Have you seen Three Pines? Full disclosure, I have not, but it’s on my list and I love the books so much.
Senior Attorney
It’s very different from the books, for good or for ill. I didn’t finish it.
Anon
+1 to it being very different from the books. I didn’t watch it past the first episode for that reason.
AIMS
Have you seen Broadchurch?
AIMS
Two more: 1) The Bridge (US version), which is a remake of another show called the Tunnel (UK-France), which is itself a remake of a Danish show called The Bridge. And 2) Young Wallander.
Anonymous Canadian
The Tunnel is very good but I found it quite scary!
Anon
The Gillian Anderson one from a few years back. Don’t remember the name.
Sunflower
The Fall.
AIMS
This is great!
anon
I wouldn’t describe The Fall as “not scary” though. The stalking scenes in s1 are pretty creepy. (Show is great though)
Anon
+1 The Fall was extremely scary to me. But well made.
Anon
I just started watching it last night, thanks to this thread!
Anonymous
Happy Valley
Senior Attorney
Trapped on Netflix, if you don’t mind subtitles
Anon
Broadchurch, Dark Winds, Why Didn’t They Ask Evans, Fargo, The Tourist, Mystery Road, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries
Anan
Miss Fisher is my comfort food!
Anon
Father Brown and Foyle’s War for something more quaint. Definitely Broadchurch. I’ve been very into Shetland lately, but I have a VPN and watch it on the BBC website. I’m not sure if it’s available through Britbox.
helloanon
This genre is my jam.
Happy Valley
Broadchurch
The Fall (bit scary)
Bodyguard
Criminal
Unforgotten
Fargo
The Tourist
Shetland
Luther (bit scary)
Magpie Murders (lighter but entertaining and strong cast)
Scott & Bailey (not a miniseries)
Bad Sisters (comedy/drama with a mystery and so good)
Vicky Austin
God I love Bodyguard. Angsty Richard Madden? Sign me UUUPPP.
Anonymous Canadian
I loved Happy Valley but I did find it a bit scary. The Chelsea Detective was lovely! Also:
The Madame Blanc Mysteries
Signora Volpe
Shetland
Agatha Raisin (maybe more comedy than mystery)
Manhunt (with Martin Clunes)
Code of a Killer
Midsomer Murders (bonus, millions of episodes)
Scott and Bailey (loved that the main characters are women)
Pie in the Sky (old but charming)
Anonymous
Vera (the books are excellent, and I like the show)
the Strike miniseries are better than the Rowling as Galbraith books
TravelDreams
I have a somewhat morbid but realistic question. I live in another country from my elderly parents. At some point soon I’m going to get a 3am call that needs me to get on a plane for a funeral. However, I have never been to a funeral and I don’t own appropriate clothes, so I am planning ahead. I imagine having something ready to throw in a suitcase will really help! An added complication is my parents are religious Jews and women are not allowed to wear pants. Can anyone help me shop for a dress and/or maybe skirt that would work in a cooler climate (3 seasons of cold/ slightly less cold). Ideally long sleeves or 3/4 sleeves. Flowy. I am 5’4” size 8-10 depending on cut. I do have black blazers to go over an outfit. Was thinking with sales now might be the time to get something ready. Appreciate suggestions!
Chl
Sorry to hear this. I think the mm Lafleur etsuko could be good as long as the length is appropriate given the religious consideration. You can surely get one on poshmark and I would get a 10 if you’re between sizes.
Chl
I can’t read. You wanted flown and the etsuko is not. I would look at Boden.
Cat
This is a hard season to buy a black dress with long sleeves… maybe Brooks Bros?
Anon
https://www.eshakti.com/shop/Dresses/Cotton-jersey-surplice-dress-CL0088347?view_source=regular&index=21
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/empire-waist-long-sleeve-midi-dress/6514987?color=BLACK&size=small&country=US¤cy=USD&utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=seo_shopping&utm_channel=low_nd_seo_shopping&srsltid=ASuE1wSUDrdrRD8h3KBMc-40GFJ0fDcdRSvoopx0d5rPZYKXWahXuVn1Wyo
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/v-neck-long-sleeve-midi-dress/7025060?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=001
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-long-sleeve-faux-wrap-midi-shirtdress/7428316?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=002
https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/the-kooples-glam-pleated-belted-maxi-dress?ID=4457170&CategoryID=2910
Anon
I recommend an in-person shop at a department store. Check you have appropriate shoes and perhaps hosiery.
Anon
Be sure that the shoes are comfortable and easy for walking. There are likely to be times when you are on your feet, and you won’t want to be distracted by that.
Anonymous
If you do not want a purely black dress, I am really enjoying this very affordable dress and it somehow keeps me cool and warm depending on the environment, so could be good regardless of season. It can easily be paired with a variety of footwear and also tights and a sweater or jacket as appropriate.
https://shop.mango.com/us/women/dresses-and-jumpsuits-midi/printed-shirt-dress_47035862.html?c=02
Anonymous
I gave a response about a Mango dress that hasn’t posted yet, but if you’d like something a bit more elevated, check out the Tahari hammered satin dress and the Ted Baker Astrydd dress, both at Nordstrom at escalating price points.
Anon
Something like this? https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-5810520/womens-croft-barrow-fit-flare-midi-dress.jsp
This with a jacket or sweater? https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/suits/cata000013/572342.html
Anon
I think this one checks your boxes and is on sale: https://www.talbots.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-talbotsus-Site/default/Product-Variation?pid=P232036328&dwvar_P232036328_color=BLACK&dwvar_P232036328_sizeType=MS&cgid=apparel-dresses
Anon
This one isn’t quite as flowy but has longer sleeves: https://www.anntaylor.com/petites/petite-suits/cat550044/544911.html
TravelDreams
Thanks to all for the recs esp the links…. Very helpful! I was really struggling but see lots of options. I think I have a blind spot when it comes to dresses! You are all so kind!
Anon
Net a porter has filter for modest dressing. Suggest browsing there if you are expecting to need multiple days of modest clothes.
Anon
It varies somewhat by congregation, but in more conservative traditions, the children of the deceased tear their collar a few inches at the funeral. I.e., you won’t wear this dress again. Some super orthodox congregations only “allow” the sons (not the daughters) to rip their collars. And in less traditional congregations, no one actually ruins their clothes because they give you black ribbons to rip and pin on your chest.
Also, you might need one of those lace doilies that women wear on their hair in conservative congregations.
I was raised Reform, so I don’t know all these rules, but I know they exist.
Finally, you might want to print out a transliteration of the Kaddish prayer and put it in your bag so you have it handy in case the prayer book is only in Hebrew and you don’t read Hebrew (or don’t read it well under stress).
May you know no more sorrow and be comforted by the mourners of Zion.
Senior Attorney
Whether or not you have to tear it, it’s extremely unlikely you will want to wear the dress again in any case. I wore a favorite navy dress to my mom’s memorial service and afterwards I couldn’t even look at it again. I ended up giving it away.
Anonymous
Cos has lots of loose, modest dark dresses. Depending on what brand of religious Jews your parents are, niche brands like The Frock or Mimu Maxi might be appropriate as well.
AIMS
I have a lot of dresses like this.
Some specific ideas: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/skirt-detail-jersey-midi-dress-black/sty-d0433-blk?cat=C2_S2
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/misook-crpe-de-chine-midi-dress/7039042?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&fashioncolor=Black&color=001
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/karen-kane-long-sleeve-jersey-dress/6117145?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&fashioncolor=Black&color=001
https://www.saksoff5th.com/product/emmie-rose-lace-trim-tiered-midi-dress-0400017754061.html?site_refer=CSE_GGLPLA:Womens_Dresses:emmie+rose&country=US¤cy=USD&CSE_CID=G_Off+5th_PLA_SSC_Women%27s+Apparel:Women%27s+Apparel&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9c2RhrSPgAMVxtzICh1NMALYEAsYDSABEgLM5fD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Nylongirl
Hi! I’m in the same situation. The website maggy London has lots of black day dresses. Mine is 3/4 sleeves, fit & flare.
Trish
I wore a Michael Kors shirt dress with exposed zippers to my mother’s funeral. I loved it and I am sure she would have, too.
Flats Only
This dress gets good reviews as a funeral dress AND a travel dress. Appears formal and conservative while also probably being comfortable and forgiving if your weight fluctuates a little bit.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GBH4LM1/?coliid=I1XBYWEGB91KS&colid=2HET1TQ6IM2Z2&psc=0&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it
Anon
I have a TV recommendation some folks here might like: Deadloch, which is an Australian show available on Amazon Prime. You can read about the show online, but basically: it’s a send-up of dark moody murder/crime shows like Broadchurch and Dark, set in a small coastal Australian town. The lead town detective gets paired with an out-of-town detective and at first they’re like oil and water. The first couple of episodes are kind of frenetic and then the show settles down and reveals an actual mystery you get invested in. There is a LOT of profanity and some pretty crude humor, so if that’s not your thing, then definitely skip it. But I LOVED this and will probably re-watch it again in the next few months.
AIMS
This sounds fun!
One of my favorite shows right now The Righteous Gemstones. I really can’t do it justice by describing but if creative profanity is not offensive to you, I highly recommend it.
Anon
Already a fan! If you love RG you’ll probably love Deadloch!
Seventh Sister
I find it super funny. It has that ridiculous sort of Kath & Kim energy but also murder mystery.
Anonymous
Thank you! I’ve had this in my sight, and you swayed the vote.
Senior Attorney
That sounds right up my alley! Thanks!
Dressing for trial
I just bought the seasonless stretch AT skirt suit in dark navy for a serious criminal trial. I generally feel better in skirts than pants and blue is known as the color that is most trustworthy, honest, etc. The questions is: how do I accessorize so I don’t look like a flight attendant. I am in a red retiree Florida area.
Anonymous
White… pastels… prints. If you’re trying to avoid flight attendant I’d avoid pairing it with red, cobalt, and light blue. Maybe black too.
Anon
Saffron, rust, magenta, lilac, orange of various shades — in those color families that isn’t a bright primary color.
Anonymous
I think a column of color is a good way to go with navy, so just pop on a shell/shirt in navy, with or without a small pattern. A simple necklace is also fine, as flight attendants never seem to wear them. Shoes can be black, or contrasting in nude/cognac, or a lighter shade of blue, or burgundy.
Anon
I love green and have been wearing a few different styles of green tops with navy skirts/pants this summer. I like the suggestion for lilac, and cream and navy to me is always classic.
Anon
I love a navy column of color. I wear it with simple classic jewelry – often just earrings. And a great pair of shoes, often with a color that contrasts and goes well. Like a suede pump in burgundy or grey
Anon
Can anyone recommend resources for public speaking or extemporaneous speaking? I’m increasingly doing more at work and if anything am getting worse at it. Serving as a panelist this week I completely froze up in answering questions on a technical area I know well. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to talk post-pandemic. Has anyone else found themselves similarly struggling? Would love to know what – if anything – helped!
Anonymous
Nothing to read. But what has helped me a ton with presenting and also being on video is imagining I’m on a meeting and we’re just sitting around a table. The more conversational and authentic, the better the material seems to be received,
Anon
Practice. Use regular meetings to practice answering questions. Run answers to likely questions out Lou’s ahead of time. If you’re on a panel, meet with the organizer and other panelists to coordinate Q&A ahead of time. Practice in the mirror, the shower, the car. This isn’t something you can read about and get better at, it’s like a sport, you have to do it.
Anonymous
I feel like people here (SA?) always recommend Toastmasters
Anon
OP here – this is all super helpful & appreciate a lot of these tips I can start practicing immediately. Thank you!
Perhaps a Kindle or Audible course?
Yes, I definitely feel like I have been struggling with speaking to larger groups at work! I was recently promoted and will have to do more public speaking now (much to my chagrin). So, I can offer commiseration but no solutions. A few months ago, another poster suggested “How to Speak Effectively in Any Setting” by Molly Bishop Shadel, a law professor who teaches oral advocacy and public speaking. So, I may check that out when I can find the time.
Anonymous
Write out every word of your talk, then practice it out loud until you don’t have to read and it sounds natural. List the most likely questions and practice answering them aloud.
Seattle
Lawyers: what do you use for a writing sample when job applications require one? For litigation roles, is it expected that you’ll use a memo/brief signed by you?
Anon
Depends on your level. As a junior associate it wouldn’t normally be signed by you.
Anon
Yes, I’ve generally used a memo or brief signed by myself. I have also used a mediation statement and changed all identifying info to something obviously fake (123 Fake Street, Acme Co., John Doe), and also explain in a cover letter that I was doing that for confidentiality. Redact anything that needs to be redacted.
Anon
DH and I have been married for 5 years, and our marriage genuinely has gotten better and better each year. However, we have sort of plateaued and keep running into the same communication problems and mini-argument after. My opinion: we have a toddler and both wfh, and friction is bound to happen, it’s pretty normal and actually we do pretty well given the circumstances, and we should move on immediately. DH wants to sit down and talk about it, but by “talking” he means just sort of word vomiting about how frustrated he is, and the conversation never ends, and when I eventually try to move on he feels that I’m shutting the conversation down and refusing to “talk about it”, so I’ll sit back down to listen, but he is only repeating what he just said. I STRONGLY believe that this dynamic is very fixable with a good Gottman-certified therapist. He would say it’s a waste of money. I say it’s an investment. I am considering prepaying for some sessions without his knowledge or consent. That’s not something I would be comfortable doing at all normally… but I don’t think he’ll do it any other way? Believe me, I’ve tried. He has always talked me out of it after initially agreeing, and now he just won’t agree. He is also very sensitive to a therapist choosing “my side” and ganging up on him. Would a male therapist perhaps mitigate that? Is this a terrible idea?
Anon
It kind of sounds like you’re taking the same attitude towards the existence of the communication problem as you’re taking to these conversations in the first place (it’s a fixable problem, let’s fix it and move on already). I also wonder if his concerns about therapy would be amplified by this approach to making it happen? Have you already tried getting individual therapy so you can discuss with the therapist how to respond in these kinds of conversations? Is he more or less open to considering individual therapy for himself (that would seem to alleviate the “taking sides” concern)? (I’ve sometimes seen the idea that couples therapy can be scarier or less helpful when each party isn’t also supported by an individual therapist.)
I’ve had mixed experiences with both therapy and couples therapy (honestly the Gottman therapist mostly helped by giving us a common enemy!), so I sympathize a little with his hesitation, though it also sounds like it feels more high stakes to him than just wasting some money.
OP
This is such a thoughtful response, thank you.
Cat
What is the original communication problem that keeps recurring? It sounds like your husband really wants to fix the root cause of the issue rather than accept it as ‘eh, everyone gets frustrated occasionally, just brush it off’ as the price of admission to your marriage. TBH I am with your husband on this one — seems like a “She divorced me bc I left dishes in the sink” theory, i.e., a bunch of little things can pile up into feeling hurt.
Anon
Yes, I am also the husband in this scenario. My bf gets mad that I repeat myself but I don’t feel heard and understood so I feel the need to say things until he gets it. Maybe you should try to really understand where he is coming from and what he needs. It definitely sounds like your attitude is just this is normal when he is feeling very frustrated. It sounds like you are not meeting his emotional needs and don’t want to. I think he’s also right to think some expensive therapy isn’t going to make you listen to him. I think this is a you problem where you just want an easy fix and a therapist to tell him he’s wrong!
Anon
Yes, it sounds like your husband doesn’t feel heard and it also sounds like you are not interested in truly heating him because you just want the be done wnd move on.
Since you brought up Gottman, I recommend that you try one of their techniques next time your husband wants to talk about it. Let him talk and then repeat back to him what you think you heard, “What I think I heard you say is . . .” And then let him tell you whether you truly heard him and work it from there.
You need to let go of the let’s just move on thing for a bit and try to really understand where your husband is coming from even if you don’t agree and it’s uncomfortable.
Anonymous
Put in the time and listen to him and actually hear him. Find out what he wants. Agree on a course of action together. Unilaterally running to a therapist because you are tired of listening and hope to get a quick fix will not work.
Senior Attorney
+1
Anon
Any recommendations for quality throw pillow inserts? I think the last time, I bought feather inserts from Crate and Barrel, and they’ve lasted about four years of daily use and now are near impossible to fluff up. Wondering if there’s anything better out there for a reasonable price.
Anon
Ikea but specifically the duck feather filled ones. I think they’re called Fajhard or something? They’re like $10, ikea has nice pillow covers too
Anonymous
If they are all feather, have you tried washing and drying them with tennis balls or heavy jeans or something in the dryer? You can use high heat assuming the fabric is okay with it; it won’t damage feathers. This always makes my pillows fluffier. It does take a long time to dry them fully though.
Anon
I’ve had good luck with the ones from studio McGee.
anon
i just got a positive pregnancy test! I’m calling my doctor first thing in the morning to make an appointment – what else should I be doing?! i don’t think i want to tell people beyond my husband for at least a few weeks!
AIMS
Congrats! Nothing to do other than make sure you’re taking your prenatal vitamins.
AIMS
And just enjoy!
anon
thank you for the reminder and the well wishes! I’m over the moon :)
Anon
Yup nothing to do other than take prenatal vitamins. Don’t be surprised if your doctor doesn’t rush you in. At my doctor, they seen uneventful pregnancy for the first time around 10-11 weeks and you normally find out you’re pregnant 4 weeks. So it can be quite a wait.
anon
thank you for the heads up!
Anon
Quit caffeine and alcohol. Read up on pregnancy nutrition. Double check any meds you’re on won’t harm the baby. Check old navy, target, Loft jcrew early in the fall and buy maternity clothes then bc they sell out and won’t restock and maternity clothes are all poor quality. Consider getting a subscription to a rental service like Rent the Runway w maternity clothes. But a bra size up when necessary. Read Expecting Better. I also like Bringing up Bebe. Don’t spend money on baby stuff that cost more than IKEA unless you feel like throwing money away.
Anonymous
Just wanted to say congrats to you. I don’t have children so no advice to offer other than to enjoy having this wonderful secret.