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I saw somewhere that wide-leg jeans are THE denim style out there right now, and to be honest, I'm not totally happy with the cropped pair I got in the Nordstrom Anniversary sale. (They fit at the right spot on my ankle but just feel fantastically frumpy no matter what shoes I pair them with — if you feel like you're rocking the cropped wide-leg look, please share your tips!)
Anyhoo: I was poking around and decided to order a few pairs to try on. Some of the best that caught my eye were pricey ones like the Favorite Daughter Masha jeans or the crisper Paige options, but I was surprised that the more budget-friendly, new-to-me brand Hint of Blu kept jumping out to me also. They come in a ton of washes and options.
The pictured jeans are $69 and have a 20 great reviews.
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Lost connection
I got out of a 3 year relationship about 8 months ago. After an intense process of healing, I feel like I’m ready to date again. There was a guy I went out with 3 times right around the time I just started dating my ex. My ex and I had intense chemistry but also som real low points—hence the breakup. I wonder about that other guy and what might have been. Is it too creepy to reach out to him? I don’t have his number but I found him on LinkedIn. Thoughts?
Sunshine
What do you have to lose? At worst, he isn’t interested for any variety of reasons. At best, he is and you try dating.
Senior Attorney
Agree with this! Fortune favors the bold!
NYCer
I agree. Go for it!
Anon
Request to connect and if he accepts, send him a friendly message.
Anonymous
Yes that’s creepy. If some dude and I went out three times months ago, and he broke things off before ever getting my number, and then tracked me down on LinkedIn to follow up, I’d be seriously disturbed.
Anonymous
With respect, I disagree. In this case the OP and this fellow have a connection from the past and don’t appear to have a professional connection that would require them to interact hereafter if he says no. I think as a woman feeling “tracked down” is much different than a man would perceive it (see tiktok lumberjack man explaining it better than I actually can). I feel this is reasonable as it is a public profile and a politely worded request is what appears to be contemplated.
Anon
I think it’s creepy too. Reaching out to a guy you went on a few dates with a few years ago to see if he might still be interested is fine, but the fact that you no longer have his info and found him on LinkedIn takes it into creepy territory, imo. If the genders were reversed, I think a lot of people here would call it stalking.
roxie
adding a linked in request is not stalking. Don’t cheapen the real thing by exaggerating.
Anecdata
Also in this case, the OP previously had this number but lost/deleted it. If they’d met (and gone on 3 dates?) in some kind of context where anonymity was expected, finding them on LinkedIn would feel stalky — but that doesn’t sound like this. Even if the genders were reversed, if I’d previously given a guy my number and full real name, and I got a linkedin message from him saying his pet iguana ate his phone, but he’d love to go on a date, can I text him at his new number, I wouldn’t feel stalked
Anecdata
I don’t think it’s too creepy, but I think I’d at least acknowledge the weirdness of reaching out /on LinkedIn/. Definitely give him your # in the initial message so the conversation can move immediately there.
But can you not reach him via however you did on those initial dates?
Lost connection
Unfortunately I don’t have his number anymore.
Anonymous
I have a friend who did this! After a seven year gap, I think. And now they’ve been happily together for over a year. I was super skeptical of it when she initially reached out (I think I kept it to myself, though), but it has turned out incredibly well. These things happen!
Anon
It’s meet cute when women do it, not creepy. I say go for it, you’ve got nothing to lose.
anon
No. I look like a Lego person in wide-leg jeans. I suspect that’s because of my body shape; it is just not a cute vibe. Flares and bootcuts are fine, though.
Anon
I’ve never seen them look good on anyone, regardless of body type.
It's me.
Yeah, I’ve noticed that influencers and models like the above always stand with their legs at weird angles so they don’t look so bad. But if you have to pop out your hip for them to be flattering, they just aren’t flattering.
So-So Charlotte
I look great in them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Maybe I’m delulu but I like what I see in the mirror.
pink nails
I get compliments every time I wear my high waisted cropped wide leg jeans from strangers, so I like them too.
Anon
Same here girl! Same here. Super flattering. I’m tall and willowy and it’s a whole 70s vibe.
anon
I am tall but decidedly not willowy.
Anon
I’m also tall and willowy. I bought a pair of 70’s style jeans to wear with heels and a cropped top.
PolyD
I just tried on a pair from Banana Factory and I really like them.
I am about 5’3”, not terribly overweight, but thicker in the middle. Thanks, menopause!
Anon
I’m about your height and also mid-section pudge, and I like them and get compliments regularly. Mine are not cropped.
NYNY
I love them too! I’ve been wearing the cropped high-rise stride jeans from the Gap with high-top Chucks and either a close-fitting tee or a slightly structured bigger sweater. Also the Chucks are black with giant ivory stars all over them, so I love how the cropped jeans really highlight them. I’ve been stopped on the street about the shoes several times already, and gotten the ultimate NY compliment, a guy riding by on a bike shouting “shoes” appreciatively.
Anon
I have these gap ones too and love them! 5’6” size 14 pear over here and they are my current favorites.
annie q
I have wanted a pair ever since I saw them on a woman who looked GREAT! But I think they’re best if they’re not super side.
Anon
I feel like these pants are too long (should be cropped a bit) or too short (should cover more of the shoe). I can do a wider leg, within reason. This is not within reason for me (short, hippy). I need something to balance out the hips, not make me look like I am drowning in fabric.
Pips
I feel the same way. I just bought a pair of Levi ribcage bells and I love them – they have that relaxed, 90s, wide leg vibe but are definitely flares, which makes them easier for me to pull off.
Anonymous
I love them but I came of age in the 90s so I have a soft spot for the small top and big jeans look. My body is not my favorite thing right now but wide legs with a dark knit top make my body look better proportionally, even if it’s not slimming. The long top over skinny jeans was emphasizing my ice cream cone shape even if I thought it was making me look slimmer. I’m beginning to suspect that my pear shaped sisters hate wide legs because it throws their bodies even more out of proportion.
Anonymous
Actually, this pear likes wide legs and flares; they don’t cling to areas I don’t want to feature.
Anon
Any recs in the British Virgin Islands for beaches, snorkeling spots, good hiking? My mom and I just booked a sailing trip for next year to celebrate my 40th birthday (so excited!!). Neither of us drinks alcohol and we get our meals on the boat, so we don’t need bar/restaurant recs.
Anonymous
I’ve never stayed in the BVI, but we did a day trip from the USVI to the Baths on Virgin Gorda, which I highly recommend! It’s obviously a big tourist attraction, but for good reason — the huge rocks in the surf are really cool and beautiful, and there’s a great hiking path through them.
Anon
Definitely on the list, thank you!
BVI's #1 Fan
Ughhhhhhhh. This is my favorite place on earth, bar none. I’m a sailor and have done numerous bareboat charters out of Tortola. What type of boat are you on? Is it captain-for-hire or are you bareboating? A captain can make some great recs. I usually captain myself and these are my must-hit spots (filtering out bars and restaurants at your request):
– The Indians is the #1 snorkling spot
– Wreck of the Rhone – a shallow ship wreck. pretty cool to see. Best for scuba divers but you can see it from snorkling/water’s surface on a clear day.
– Cooper Island caves/Manchioneel Bay
– The Baths, southern tip of Virgin Gorda – good snorkling but even better walking about the rock formations – truly amazing. Has been featured in movies, many famous photoshoots, etc.
– The Caves at Norman Island – outstanding snorkling
Some of these spots are so popular (Indians especially) that there is some strategy to getting a mooring before they fill up. Tend to hit Indians and Baths at the crack of dawn to get a well-located mooring (or a mooring at all during peak season). Again, a captain will know this. And, if it’s just you and you’re bareboating, happy to give follow up recs.
If you do find yourself wanting to have an on-island non-alcoholic beverage, I’d recommend Saba Rock or the Bitter End Yacht Club at the northern end of Virgin Gorda. The Better End is just a sight to see in general – such a beautiful, beautiful place. The Soggy Dollar Bar is in White Bay and is just visually stunning, too. The bar itself is definitely a bit fabled for being a good time but during the day you get plenty of families and kids, so lots non-drinkers, too. It’s an establishment in the BVIs for sure. In general any island is going to cater toward charterers, so if you want an on-shore shower, some additional provisions, etc, you’ll be able to get them.
Scrub Island is another nice spot to dock if you want to stand on firm ground for a bit. Just a beautiful resort. I think it’s Marriott affiliated. It’s always a stopover during the back leg of our trips so we can enjoy a few creature comforts (like a shower in a full sized shower).
Lastly, Anegada is a bit if a haul but if you’re up for it, it’s an incredibly special place. Consider it in your itinerary.
Have SO MUCH FUN.
Anon
Thank you so much for all the details! We have a captain and chef. My mom and I know how to sail and she owns a sailboat, but all our experience is on much smaller boats in New England so we hire a captain for trips like this. The captain makes the itinerary but has asked us if we have any “can’t miss” spots so I wanted to do some of my own research. We did a similar trip in the USVIs a few years ago with the same boat/crew and it was beyond incredible. I can’t wait to go back!
BVI's #1 Fan
Also a New England sailor but, alas, sans boat. Just had our last kid so once she can swim that will hopefully change.
It’s the best. Trust the process with your captain. I suspect they’ll have tons of recs and suggestions, some which may even be better than mine because they tend to know what’s busy or not and when. What company are you using? I’ve always done Moorings, but there are a number of great ones.
Anon
I looked at The Moorings before our first trip but it was way out of our price range. The cheapest options were >$25k for just the two of us. I think they only have larger boats? We ended up using Conch Charters out of the USVIs and found a crewed boat for less than half that price, and then this time since we know the crew and were going to be chartering the same boat we just reached out to them directly and used their preferred broker, who is mainland US-based.
Anon
DM has a Kate Middleton update that is finally legit and it is making me hate all of the Kate speculators out there even more.
Anon
Yeah, I wonder if our resident Kate conspiracists feel any remorse or shame. I doubt it.
Anon
Sorry but no, she’s a public figure and whoever was doing their PR created the issue with fake photos and failing to get in front of the story. When you’re famous, getting that right is part of your job.
Anon
Concur, as someone who was professionally in roles involving the press.
It is fair? Not really. But the media are gonna media, so either get out in front of it and control the narrative or the speculation will get worse.
Anon
Or, decide it’s more important that your 5 year old doesn’t go to school the next morning and hear, “my parents said your mummy’s going to die” than you don’t get bad press. The waited until school break began.
It's me.
And if you’re wrong, we have every right to say whatever we want and then blame you even if you had cancer and possibly had other things on your mind. :)
Anonymous
I don’t think anyone is blaming her. They are blaming the Firm and feeling badly for her.
Anon
You guys are the worst. The British royal family owes you nothing, get over yourselves.
Anonymous
Great to know that you feel entitled to demand medical details about a woman with 3 young kids who has no legal role whatsoever. She’s not the current or future head of state. Do you also feel entitled to the medical details of Kamala Harris’ husband.
Today was the first day of school holidays in England. They were clearly extremely focused on protecting their kids and DNGAF about American women with too much time on their hands such that they feel entitled to the exact medical details of someone with NO legal role.
Anon
I totally agree. These people who think otherwise are disgusting.
Anonymous
Thank you. I’ve been completely appalled by the people casting shade a the mom of 3 children who waited only a month to publicly announce she has CANCER so that her children could be in the best place possible. What is wrong with these ghouls?
Anon
It is grotesque to try to legitmize rubber necking at a car wreck. It is human nature to gossip but at least recognize it as a character flaw. Yes, it is to be expected because they are public figures but we should do better.
Anon
I heavily rolled my eyes at all the attention being paid to a photo. In retrospect, maybe her hand was bruised from IVs, etc, which is a perfectly understandable reason to edit. Poor family.
Anon
Honestly, I thought it was as simple as trying to blend the kids to get a photo where all three were smiling and looking at the camera, which is extremely relatable to me as a parent. It seemed liked the editing was more on the kids than her.
Anonymous
The Mother’s Day photo looks like an older image of Kate. Did you look at the Daily Mail photos?
Anon
OMG just stop. The woman has cancer. Let her be.
Vicky Austin
You are literally speculating as to why a cancer patient might want to use an older photo of herself in a publicly released image designed to placate a conspiring public. Can you take a step back?
Anonymous
The point is that it was a ridiculous misstep to release the doctored photo. If it was an old photo released in honor of this Mother’s Day to keep up a tradition they should have just said so. Just like Christmas card photos do not have to be taken at Christmas. They should not have asserted that it was a current photo, or should have refrained from releasing a photo at all. If you don’t want speculation, don’t invite it.
Anonymous
Vicky, you are literally missing the point. If the royal family didn’t want conspiracy theories, it shouldn’t have engaged in subterfuge. Of course she has the right to privacy. So don’t release photos!
Anon
Calling it subterfuge is a bit extreme. The issue is that we have crazy high expectations and “rules” around a picture posted on Instagram, because they are royals (a figurehead position). It was the over-the-top reaction of the public, not the editing of a photo, that was the problem
anon
Tend to agree w/ anonymous on this one. I get it – the woman has cancer, plus young kids. Tragic, truly. But two things can be true – it is tragic and this this was a giant, giant misstep. I think the fact they put it on her – she released the apology for the picture problems – is laughable, but that’s a discussion for another day.
The fact is they are not just any other family and she’s just not any other cancer patient. I suspect the recent critics of the falsified photo snafu will offer a tad more grace given this cancer diagnosis. But, the otherwise non-adaptive-to-current-times monarch likely now recognizes that they need to be more thoughtful with technology / AI or whatever else may be accessible to us in the future. Because, it’s also clear from looking at other pictures that doctoring them has been a recent habit and not just in this Mother’s Day instance. And I’m not just talking pictures on Instagram of them out and about doing their thing… specifically pictures that have been released to the press and wire services as official record and fact, when they in fact were not factually true and content was altered (see: last known picture of the queen and her great grand children).
I both wish her well and hope The Firm gets it’s ‘ish together if it hopes to survive this century.
Anon
I am not a famous person and if I had the time/skills would take the best of the multiple takes of family pictures and cobble them together because someone always has their eyes shut or is otherwise not camera-ready. Group pictures are hard.
Anon
It’s kind of a big deal that a kill order had to be issued and major news outlets like Reuters now no longer consider KP a reliable source. That’s a huge, huge blunder.
Anon
A kill order?!
Anon
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/10/world/europe/princess-kate-middleton-surgery-photo.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ek0.2Nl7.BtXevFBF1xjT&smid=url-share
pink nails
That’s literally what the AP etc call it when they pull a photo.
Vicky Austin
Aw, shit. Man I feel terrible.
Senior Attorney
Me, too. I legit got choked up thinking of those little kids…
Anon
So terrible – cancer is awful when it affects anyone, but it’s especially poignant for young parents.
Anonymous
Makes me think they didn’t announce previous because they were trying to protect the kids. We didn’t tell my similar age kids about my dad’s lung cancer at the surgery stage but we had to once the effects from chemo became too much. Luckily he beat it but they were so stressed while he was sick and that wasn’t even a parent.
And the stress on William to have to worry about his kids losing their mom young just like he did and then everyone complaining he’s not doing enough events when his father and wife have cancer.
Anon
This. A very good friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and simply didn’t tell her young children (boys) beyond ‘mommy is sick but will get better and needs some extra doctors visits/rest’. If the prognosis is good with treatment I totally understand not disclosing this to your young kids
anon
Also, the day her surgery was announced, the King also went in for an exam. And, during the duration of her stay, it was announced that he had cancer. Just a terrible sequence of events all around.
Anon
I hope everyone who was joking about her health situation feels terrible.
What a devastating diagnosis for a young mom. I hope she and her family will be ok.
Anon
I think most of the criticism was about how badly KP handled this entire situation. I see they’ve announced they’ve hired a new comms person.
Best wishes to the Princess.
AIMS
Not directed at you specifically, because this seems a common strain of thought here and elsewhere, but I just have to say that I think that’s a really BS distinction. I get the point but it’s a bit like gawking at a horrible car crash and pretending you’re just interested in the traffic that’s caused. Commenting on this story and participating in all this speculation just to say that KP should be doing a better job isn’t any more noble than just being into someone else’s business for no reason whatsoever. It’s still a human being and her family affected by that, you’re still stirring the pot that’s making this a frenzy, and if it was you or someone you loved I doubt that you would feel better that all the media circus about something this private was being caused in the name of better public relations.
Anon
I fully agree.
And also there’s nothing they could have done that would have made the conspiracy theorists happy. If they hadn’t posted a photo on UK Mother’s Day, people would have said Kate was dead or in a coma or William beat her up and she couldn’t show her face because of the bruises (people actually did say this). If she posted a photo looking sickly, they would have said had an eating disorder (again, people did actually speculate about this). If KP had blamed a staffer for the photo editing instead of admitting Kate edited it, people would have been “how horrible, they’re throwing a staffer under the bus to protect themselves.” There is no comms strategy that would have satisfied the women determined to rip them apart.
Anonymous
In your analogy, the people pretending they are just interested in the traffic are the people posting about how terrible the “speculators” are. The people criticizing KP’s handling of the situation are the people wondering why the police and the fire department didn’t respond to the incident in a timely manner and are now making the traffic jam worse by directing traffic improperly.
AIMS
At anon@8:53 – fully acknowledge my analogy could be improved, but if you read just the comments here – while some people may leave it to just “this is KP’s fault, they should be better, let’s move on” many – if not most in this category are just using the PR critique as a stand-in for continuing to speculate about all this and to talk about in wholly unnecessary detail. It’s not any more noble and in some ways I think it’s better to just be honest and say you’re just really into this than to pretend you have some “better” take on this whole mess. It’s still invasive speculation that fuels the whole sh*tshow and adds fuel to the fire.
Anon
They are on the world stage. That’s not just a “comes with the job.” It literally is the job.
Anonymous
This just makes the family’s blunder with the fake photo, and the fact that Kate was apparently made to take the fall, even sadder. Why couldn’t they just have maintained their no-media stance?
Anon
Yup. They should have just stuck to no substantive comment until she was ready to share this.
Anonymous
Because people were writing awful stuff like that William had killed her or beaten her up so badly that she needed facial reconstruction and unending amounts of horrible stuff.
And they always release a mother’s day picture – so I’m not even certain it was in response to the rabble vs the plan all along.
Either way it’s a reminder of why gossiping about people’s bodies and health is gross.
Anon
yep
An.On.
I was originally with Anon at 2:32 that they shouldn’t have released anything, but your comment made me think about how releasing it might have been more for them than for us, the public. Not only that a mother’s day pic was always their intention, but if they were trying to keep some normalcy and routines for their family, it’s very sad that they couldn’t even post a happy picture without incurring all the criticism and backlash.
Cat
Same.
Anonymous
I want to hope all of the speculators feel horrible shame about themselves, but people who engage in such things rarely do…
Anon
Conspiracy theorists always find a way to incorporate new facts (especially new facts that disprove their theory) into their theory. Here, it could be: “See, we told you they were hiding something! They were hiding her cancer diagnosis.”
Anon
That’s ridiculous. Why should anyone feel shame at following an international new story. The rules are different when you’re talking about a public figure. This take is just nonsense.
Anonymous
That take is not nonsense. What is nonsense is the gross sense of entitlement behind “the rules are different when you’re talking about a public figure”.
Do you not remember what happened to the last Princess of Wales because of that thinking?
As an aside, *following* the story is not a problem. The problem is the speculating and engaging in ‘theory’ after ‘theory’. No one owes celebrity obsessed Americans anything.
Anon
There’s no point in getting angry at the speculators and wanting them to feel shame. Some will, some won’t and it doesn’t actually affect her prognosis. The important thing is that she has access to great treatment and support from family and friends (I hope she does, anyway).
Kate is under no obligation to do this, but given her immense popularity, I hope she one day speaks up about whatever type of cancer this is. The reason I say that is because so many cancers go under the radar and people (especially women) don’t recognize early symptoms or prioritize screenings. If, for example, this is ovarian cancer, Kate’s experience could actually move the needle on awareness in a way almost nothing else has.
Anone
I wish they would tell us how serious it is as well. Maybe they won’t disclose the type because something like ovarian cancer seems to have poor prognosis..
Cat
It sounds like they think whatever it is, the tumor was successfully removed surgically and she is doing a course of chemo just in case any of it had started to spread. “Preventative chemo” is what my mom had done when her breast cancer was caught *just* at the size between “lumpectomy and radiation only” and “chemo” — while the chemo was rough, she felt far better mentally knowing if there had been any as-yet-undetectable spread, it would be zapped.
Anon
I’m not even sure there was a “tumor” per se. It sounds like they just found some cancer cells in the tissue that was removed during an unrelated surgery. That is pretty common in both the bowel and female reproductive system. Hopefully caught very early and she will make a full recovery.
It's me.
I don’t know, she says that at the time of the surgery, they thought it was noncancerous. That would be an odd thing to say if it was a surgery unrelated to cancer. I feel like they knew she had a tumor but thought it was noncancerous.
Anon
I don’t think it’s an odd thing to say even if there was no tumor. Either an endometriosis/fibroid surgery where they discovered cancerous uterine cells or a Crohns/colitis surgery where they discovered cancerous colon cells would be very plausible. Biopsying tissue removed during a surgery is a fairly standard procedure even if there’s no reason to think it’s cancer. Doctors like to rule out bad outcomes even if they seem remote.
Can’t even
I want the speculators to feel ashamed so they will be more likely to accept reasonable explanations, less likely to create or promote conspiracy theories, and maybe think more kindly about people and give them the benefit of the doubt.
I know there is no connection between a feeling of strangers and a celebrity’s diagnosis. That was a weird sentence.
Anonymous
So sad. I know people don’t always like the royals but to me they’re a real life fairytale.
Can’t help but think about William. I know people say he doesn’t love her or whatever but IDK when I look at them there are times when I see two people who are deeply in love- you can see it in their eyes at times. He lost his mother so young, found the love of his life, created a family, and now even if the prognosis is good, he worried about his wife and also his three young kids. Local media in the UK is saying – whether true or not – that they told the kids a while back but did not want to make it public until today as the kids started Easter break. I mean William having grown up with media realizes this will be a 24-7 frenzy for a while but especially upon announcement, so my guess is the plan was to protect the kids from classmates who had all watched the news and heard parents talking at dinner saying – my parents say your mommy will be fine or not fine or whatever. I mean that will still happen to some extent when they return in mid April but hopefully it’ll be less in their faces as it would’ve been today.
Anon
I agree, although no one can know for sure what goes on in someone else’s marriage. But whatever the marital situation is, they both seem like very thoughtful parents, and I 100% believe they wanted until the kids were on school break to announce it so the kids don’t have to go to school on Monday and hear everyone talking about it.
Anonymous
If she’s just starting chemo now it sounds like they held off as long as they could. The kids may notice the effects of chemo where mom is supposed to be better from surgery. Plus the original timeline had her off until Easter so they had to announce the change and announcing postponement of return without a reason would have fueled the rumour mill further.
Runcible Spoon
Also, there were news reports of an investigation into hospital employees sneaking a peek at her medical records. It was probably only a matter of time before the reason for the surgery and other details were leaked, so having the Princess make the announcement allowed Kensington Palace to get ahead of the story.
Anonymous
This is so awful given the history of the nurse who accidentally leaked details during one of her pregnancies then killing herself.
Someone literally died and nothing has been learned.
Anonymous
They genuinely seem happy together. Especially in that interview with Mike Tindall. I don’t believe the Rose rumours at all because he saw what his parents went through and if he was going to cheat it wouldn’t be with someone whose husband’s job/hereditary position means the kids will see her all the time at formal public events for their whole lives. IDK if he’s faithful but I don’t believe he would do that to his kids. I hope all the speculation about that goes away as well with the new video.
Anon
And if William were cheating with Rose, Pippa wouldn’t have named her daughter Rose. I can’t imagine Diana’s sisters naming their daughter Camilla.
Anon
How is this for a conspiracy theory?
She is having symptoms, and an ultrasound shows [X]. She goes in for surgery. The palace says “hey the Princess of Wales is having surgery for a non-cancerous health condition and will be back after Easter. Please respect her privacy.” They think Easter is a good date because she will absolutely have fully recovered by then.
Then the lab finds cancerous cells in whatever was removed. which they find out about in February. She recovers from the surgery and starts chemo. In the meantime, Mother’s Day comes and she releases a photo just like she does every year but since she looks like h*ll, she (or someone else) puts together a photoshopped version, probably thinking it is no big deal. I mean who cares if her family photo has been photoshopped? Except that the internet has lost its g-d- mind and people are speculating on everything from she has been murdered to she has left her husband due to his purported affair with her friend to she had plastic surgery – all because she has not been seen in public despite the fact that the palace had expressly said she would be back after Easter and because respecting the personal privacy of a mother of three is apparently too much of an ask.
So she has cancer, is undergoing chemo, and she and her husband (whose father also has cancer) are trying to protect three young children and trying to decide what, when and how to tell them. Then her medical records apparently get leaked, which forces her to make a video explaining what is going on (because a written statement would have just fed the frenzy) and the release it the last day of school so the kids will hopefully miss some of the speculation.
I mean I know it is farfetched and it is much more likely that they always knew she had cancer, or is lying about having cancer, or the video is computer generated and William actually did kill her and the Mother’s Day photo was part of the cover-up but still . . .
Anon
The photoshopped photo was such a huge blunder given that they are not just your average facebook friend, they are the future king and queen of England. It fueled the conspiracy stuff because why go to such great lengths unless there’s something major to hide?
I stand by my position that KP needs to figure out what the f they’re doing. And I don’t mean the Princess. I mean paid staff who should be handling these things much more professionally and with a strategy.
pink nails
Your last para 100% agree. They need a team they can trust more than ever right now.
Anon
But to all us plebes in the US, their being the future king and queen means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t really mean all that much in UK! It is not a huge blunder, it was a Mother’s Day photo that the AP didn’t have to print in the first place, as it was already publicly available; a huge blunder is half the stuff that Trump says, and how Biden is currently handling foreign affairs
Anonymous
So: are we allowed to care what happened to Shelly Miscavige? About Britney or Amanda Bynes? About wives of powerful men who are missing? To all the people who loooove true crime podcasts, do we only get to care after someone has been missing for a year+?
The fault here entirely with KP.
Anonymous
Caring, and coming up with wild theories because every single minute detail isn’t being made public are two wildly different things.
People who like true crime generally understand that making everything public is a bad thing that actually hinders the investigation, as does jumping to conclusions and creating wild theories based on what is not published.
Anon
Exactly this. I’m also aghast at how it’s somehow not okay to be critical or suspicious of what you’re being told by an institution that’s obviously lying about what’s going on. Criticize KP, they caused the mess not the people who didn’t buy what they were selling.
Anonymous
I’m not sure being suspicious and critical is the same as perpetuating rumours and conspiracy theories, but maybe that’s just me?
Anonymous
This is a gross take. The most KP did is not actively disclose that a family picture has some retouching done. That’s not some huge deception campaign.
Anon
Gross? Okay there….
Anonymous
Yes it’s absolute gross to be ‘aghast’ that you didn’t get more medical details. There is nothing suspicious about wanting to keep medical details private or about having a slightly photoshopped family photo when you have 3 young kids.
KP is her and William’s office. It was their decision not to release more info. It’s fake to pretend like criticism of KP is not criticism of them waiting unlike their kids were on school holidays before giving an update. It’s like pretending to criticize Meta being different from criticizing Mark Zuckerberg.
Anon
Try reading the comment. There’s nothing in there about a desire for medical details. And there was a lot to be suspicious about. That’s why it was an international news story.
Anonymous
Did you read the comment? “I’m also aghast at how it’s somehow not okay to be critical or suspicious of what you’re being told by an institution that’s obviously lying about what’s going on. ”
There was literally nothing suspicious going on and no reason to be suspicious. Why is it suspicious that she had abdominal surgery and needed time to recover? The only reason that is suspicious to anyone is if they feel the need to know what exact kind of surgery so the timeline makes sense to them. Which means medical details.
This woman is not a head of state now or in the future. Less details were demanded of or released by the Palace in relation to the actual heads of state when Queen Elizabeth or King Charles were sick at various times – not just most recently. Are you also up to date of the medical status of the daughter of Japan’s Emperor or the Irish President’s kids?
If anything they have release a LOT more detail about Catherine than they ever did about Diana. Even before the video.
Anonymous
How is having abdominal surgery suspicious? Even skinny rich people can have health issues. She didn’t do anything suspicious except give less medical details than you felt entitled to.
AIMS
This exactly.
… “there was a lot to be suspicious about. That’s why it was an international news story.”
No. There wasn’t. They gave a timeline and stuck to a time line. And then they released a picture that was badly edited. It was an international news story because people made it one. People who want to speculate will find ways to speculate. And those who want to rationalize their baser impulses will try to justify it in whatever way suits their fancy (love the one somewhere here about how KP has always lied about things and therefore this was all warranted).
Anon
I was getting texts from people asking if William had beat her into a coma weeks before the Mother’s Day photo because they had seen that on Twitter. It was the number one trending story in the US way before the photo because of the conspiracy theories, even though they had provided that she was on medical leave, the medical issue, and a timeline for her return based on her doctor’s advice. People want to rewrite history to blame someone else for their own actions.
Anon
Love seeing all the high horses around here!
Anonymous
Yeah…I can’t imagine the people defending their need for all of the information would feel the same if this was their family member.
Anon
Seriously, the sanctimony is laughable.
Anonymous
Yep. The OP of this thread is just as bad as the “speculators” she is criticizing. If you think no one should discuss the princess’s health issues and photos, then don’t discuss them yourself.
Anon
That is one of the least logical things I’ve ever heard. The knots people will twist themselves in to avoid feeling shame about shameful behavior…
Anonymous
My curiosity stemmed from the fact that a simple unaltered photo could have dispelled any doubts. (the edited photo in question was actually taken in November! It wasn’t just a photoshop of a mothers day photo with the kids).
https://www.thecut.com/article/kate-middleton-theory-edited-photo-november-fall.html
In other commentary I saw some parallels between this situation and controversial political figures such as members of the Trump family (for example, the glee over fake Melanias b/c she can’t stand Trump either). The British empire has a long history of oppression spanning centuries, leading to resentment from former colonies and neighboring/subordinate nations. Not my take, but I could see how some individuals found intrigue in the possibility of Prince William being involved in infidelity or something that caused Kate to walk out on him (or try to).
Anon
This article is one of the least convincing things I’ve ever seen, and the fact that you are using it as some sort of “proof” is wild. The central thesis is “children wear some similar, but not the same, outfits between November and March.” The fact that people would jump to “complex photoshopping to change basically everything about the children’s outfits means the photo MUST have been taken 4 months prior!” rather than “kids wear the same kind of outfits for public-facing activities in similar weather seasons” is a emblematic of the madness.
helloanon
The lack of self-reflection by so many people who have been speculating about this woman for months (including on this s*te, where people were posting that she probably had plastic surgery immediately after the first announcement and it devolved from there) is so disappointing. Yes she is a public figure, but she is still a human and the reaction to her announcement that she was taking time off to recover after what was clearly a major surgery has been so dehumanizing. She doesn’t owe anyone the details of her medical status.
It is also disappointing to see so many people assuming Kate has no agency in all of this. I’ve been following the royals for years, and she has been through a lot: paps chasing her, calling her names, spitting on her, etc. before she got married, tabloid/gossip news and mainstream media tearing down her body, her family, the speed at which she and Will got married, gross violations of her privacy including phone hacking and taking long lens nude shots that were then published overseas while she was in the middle of a very public tour. Plus, when she was hospitalized while pg with George, a radio station pranked the hospital pretending to be the queen and obtained some of Kate’s private medical info. One of the nurses involved killed herself. In addition to the poor family of that nurse, that had to have been traumatic for the hospital staff and for Kate and her family. Is it any wonder she wanted privacy while undergoing another hospitalization? Even then, there are reports that staffers at the London Clinic illegally accessed her records from this stay.
Through it all, she has been remarkably poised and got on with her job and family life. It’s been published that she wrote the speech herself, that she made the decision to record rather than just write it and to do so solo, and that she has been making decisions about the timing of any announcements, aimed at minimizing disruption for her kids who started Easter break the day of the video launch, meaning the gossip dust can settle a bit before they return to school. She is clearly a strong woman who feels secure in her personal relationships and herself and doesn’t feel the need to respond or reply to all the nonsense outside of her control. In light of that, all this talk of William or “PR” throwing her under the bus because she took credit for tweaking her family’s pic on social media rings false for me. She made the edits so she said so. Frankly, if I were her, I wouldn’t be too fussed about that – the edits, even if numerous, were minor – and she’s got much bigger things on her plate right now, like telling her three young kids she has cancer and helping them through that in addition to undergoing chemotherapy. I hope everyone lets her do that in peace.
Anonymous
1M
Anon
The number of commentators I’ve seen on Twitter acting like Kensington Palace put a g*n to their heads forcing them to speculate about how William killed Kate and/or his cousin’s husband who committed su*cide weeks before Mother’s Day and how they palace “threw Kate under the bus” by her apologizing for photoshopping a picture.
I’ve always wondered why some of those same commenters seemingly have no issue with another royal couple who has admitted to abusive behavior to their employees, including forcing a staff member to take the blame when they lied to the media after their first child’s birth in contradiction of a prior set agreement. Turns out a lot of people are showing their true colors – “just blame a faceless staff member!” as if they aren’t actual people and the tabloids wouldn’t go on a feeding frenzy against their staff. I respect Kate so much for apologizing for her mistake – she’s the boss, not a victim of some amorphous staff. But the public who was gleeful about the idea that she was at the center of some lurid controversy still can’t give her the basic respect of treating her like a human being with agency and strength, and that says much more about them than her.
Anokha
Has anyone ever bought contact lenses from OptiContacts? They are selling my brand at a fraction of the cost of traditional online contact lenses retailers — but the cheap price is making me wonder if it’s TOO cheap, y’know?
So-So Charlotte
I haven’t tried it yet but apparently 1-800 Contact’s price matching is legit. I’m going to try this over the weekend.
Anonymous
the price is only limited to one box with free shipping. if you order two boxes (like one for each eye), they jack up the price exponentially. also, you are only limited to one order at that price. i used to order from opticontacts for years before they put these restrictions into place. also, 1800contacts didn’t price match them, but i forget why
Anon
I’m a nay on jeans like this. I’m OK with wide legs if they’re somewhat flowy, but stiff fabric like denim doesn’t move right, to my eye, for this shape of leg.
Anon
Some moms I know are in a bit of a Facebook war. One has a kid who wants to get a degree in musical theatre and is shaming people who ask if it isn’t a lot of money with an unclear future. I feel like a degree in musical theatre is a bit like being a college baseball player — it’s nice, but it’s not the same as just going out and booking professional jobs (and is no guarantee that that will materialize). It’s just a lot of steam being generated right now (and it looks like this kid has a college coach just for this, as well as headshots and enough $ to travel and audition). Maybe it makes sense to just get a regular degree somewhere like NYU or UNLV or UCLA where you can book a lot of gigs and go to school, but I don’t really care. But on a slow work day, it has been a lot of sharp elbows being thrown around under the guise of caring. I am following because now I AM curious about the kid’s ultimate choice here.
Anonymous
I mean it’s a fun read but it’s that family or kid’s ultimate choice, no? There’s plenty of kids who major in theater, never get any kind of break, and five years later they are working at the local mortgage company when it’s time to get a white collar job. If that kid and family are ok with the risk, as long as I’m not paying for college nor is the kid bunking at my house when they can’t launch, eh whatever.
So-So Charlotte
On the one hand, it’s a lot of money for what’s generally a low-paying field.
On the other hand, I feel like people who cr@p on studying art should never watch another movie, look at another painting, or stream another TV show for the rest of their lives.
Anon
I paid full (fortunately in-state, public) college tuition for my kid to become a public school teacher. It’s what she wanted to do. And now she has good education, which is important regardless of whatever she chooses to do with her life in the future.
It’s not always a vocational school kind of analysis. Education is worth money regardless of what you study. Certainly the world has enough lawyers. Why wouldn’t we need more talented artists?
Anon
I have a serious hobby in the fiber arts. Somehow no one considers me an artist because it’s not performance-based or because I don’t do it for $. I used to be a photography and it was a brutal life.
Anon
Hello fellow fibre artist! I have an exhibition on on currently which makes me so happy.
Seventh Sister
That is so my mom, and she just gets huffy if I point out that she spends plenty of time enjoying art. She even got worried when she heard me praising my daughter’s drawings as a SEVEN YEAR OLD, like that was the first step on the path to living in a garret and burning newspapers to keep warm.
My mom was beside herself that a girl from my hometown moved to LA to try and be an actor. My spouse and I were like, “eh, 23 is pretty much the best age to try and do this, she has no family obligations or college loans since her parents are well-off.” Then again, she’s just very, very judgey about EVERYTHING, it’s exhausting.
Anon
Wow. I really hate this whole thing for this kid. What business is it of other moms what degree this kid gets? Let the family spend their money where they want. Let this kid get the degree in what they want (and eighteen-year-olds often change their minds, too).
I really and truly hate all of the noise about colleges, majors, and whatnot, mostly generated by people who have a pretty distant knowledge of how colleges actually work and a very distant sense of what majors = specific jobs.
Anon
agree. I think it gets pretty ugly on here sometimes. I just scroll past.
Anon
I work for a non-profit theater (as a fundraiser) and have an MFA in Visual Art, and a BA in Studio Art from a liberal arts school. I don’t think a degree in musical theater is a death sentence, especially if it is a BA (as opposed to a BFA) from a generally well-regarded school. Many, many undergraduate majors don’t automatically deliver high-paying and/or fulfilling jobs. On the other hand, even successful working theater actors (or playwrights) can barely make a living without doing TV or film. But there are a lot of administrative jobs in the field, and most of my coworkers were originally interested in performance or production jobs. And I think a degree from the right school CAN help open some doors; theater is a very small world. (FYI, for musical theater i think Carnegie Mellon is a big name, and maybe U of Michigan? I’m no expert but I don’t think NYU is known for it. Yale is the place to get an MFA in playwriting, and Julliard’s acting program is very well regarded.) I also think that most kids who really want to be artists of any sort are not going to be listening to any sort of voice of reason, which is probably for the best as if they weren’t somewhat delusional no one would ever go into the arts.
Anon
My bigLaw BFF was a music major who was very good at math. My cousin is at WVU for musical theater, but they are closing that program. My sister is good at art and wanted to pursue a degree in it but had the sense to add an education major so she could be an art teacher (dependable paycheck, health insurance, retirement fund) and spend her summers working on art / teaching at an art camp. She would up later going into nursing.
Anon
My best friend growing up has her BFA and MFA and acting. She also double minored in education and history. There have been time she’s been able to work full-time as an actress, and other times that she has a day job while she acts on the side. She has taught several ages and subjects, worked in other childcare related positions, worked at administration and in the business office of a school, and has worked for theaters in an education role. She is probably equally passionate about acting and teaching, which is never what she would’ve expected when she started school. Overall, being able to work, both in the theater world and in education has been perfect for her, she is always had a city paycheck, and she absolutely loves what she does in both careers.
Anonymous
Everyone in the administration of the arts org with which I’m involved seems to have at least an undergrad degree in performance. Arts administration doesn’t pay well, but it’s a steady job. I also see a lot of schoolteachers who perform professionally on the side. You can’t take a Broadway role if you have a full-time teaching gig, but you can do local theatre especially in the summer, and you can book gigs as a musician.
Anonymous
I have a bachelor’s degree in music performance from one of the top programs in the country. It was the only way I could continue doing music at a high level in college. I am also really good at math and have a couple of graduate degrees and a career as a quantitative social scientist that allows me to continue with music at a serious amateur/semipro level. I sing regularly with our city’s professional symphony orchestra and this fall I am going to be in the chorus of a professional opera production.
Runcible Spoon
Congratulations! I’m glad you didn’t have to give it all up.
Anon
Apparently you need a college audition coach, a college coach, and some other hired people to prep you for all of this (for musical theater). But the kid I know doing this had a dad who is a bone surgeon, so that’s not a problem.
One kid of mine is a very good player of a common instrument and knows that that will make her maybe a bit more “intersesting” for college admissions purposes and may minor in it, but that’s it for her current plans.
Senior Attorney
I actually know somebody whose kid went down this path — very expensive coaches for auditions and voice and acting and I don’t know what-all. And a very expensive audition circuit to get into college — she ended up at NYU and just graduated. She is actually having some success — a lead in a regional show plus some work in NYC. Lord knows how long the parents will be supporting her but they have the money and the kid has talent so…
It does make me a little salty that this kind of thing isn’t in reach of so many people, though.
Anon
I know someone with an ambitious kid and this is what they are doing. Running the art magnet PTA, funding things at the school, coaches, coaches, coaches. The kid is talented, but far more gifted at playing an obscure instrument than singing (but has a passion for musical theater). My guess is that the instrument might be more important in the long run (it’s not an oboe, but it’s not the fungible violin or piano-playing girl, either).
Runcible Spoon
Blue collar parents aspire for their kids to be white collar workers; white collar workers aspire for their kids to be professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers, professors, bankers); and professionals aspire for their kids to be artists and poets. It’s a common progression and the way of the world.
Anon
FWIW, I know someone with this background who ultimately parleyed it into a very successful sales career.
Anon
FWIW, I know someone with this background who ultimately parleyed it into a very successful sales career.
Anon
That totally makes sense to me as a corporate warrior (non law).
Anon
I am not sure that there is anything magical about musical theater or theater in general but ANYTHING that gets a person comfortable (or more comfortable) and good at speaking is a wonderful opportunity. Speech, debate, hostessing at a restaurant, etc. People skills are real skills.
Kara
That’s a fun *grabs popcorn* Facebook moment for a slow afternoon – hope things work out for the kid. My husband and I both have degrees in musical theater from a school that is not known for this or amenably located. I’m glad our parents didn’t question it – they let us make our own choices. It’s a liberal arts degree. I went to law school and DH got a masters in computer programming, and now we help with theater at our kids’ schools, go to lots of shows, and occasionally lead discussion groups in artsy subjects.
Anon
I am definitely grabbing my popcorn.
TBH, I counsel my kids not to go to law school, a well-paying field for some, because it’s often not a health work environment and the loans are no joke. And that’s law school! I do think being likely-outcome-blind is a problem, espeically for teens, but if $ is no object, why not? My guess is that a savvy kid concerned about a Plan B could easily double-major and it’s not like the accounting department makes you audition.
Anon
Why on earth would people offer their unsolicited opinions about her kids career choice? The mom isn’t shaming people. She’s pushing back on extremely rude behavior.
Anon
Context matters here. I assumed the mom was being braggy, or doing one of those things where she asks for advice and then pushes back on everything.
Anon
OP — it has taken a turn for the braggy. Getting into a musical theater program is harder than getting into Harvard or Yale.
Anon
Sounds like it’s none of your business.
Anon
I think it’s like if you are in BigLaw but know a first-generation kid who is planning to go to a TTY law school and borrow all of the $ for it. Do you say maybe it’s got some risk and here is why or cross your fingers because it might wind up OK? I can see why people would say something because it could be a disaster, especially if there are loans and there isn’t a fallback plan. I know a lot of first generation students who regret law school, mostly because they borrowed to pay for it.
anon
If the kid’s mom is posting about it on Facebook, I absolutely do not offer my opinion. Unless she’s posting to ask.
Anon
Exactly
Anon
Sound like a rant against the maybe unsolicited advice. Likely given by those in a person’s FB circle.
Seventh Sister
Me too. I have a few mom acquaintances that have kids on this path, and I don’t say anything about their future chances or the money they are spending to do all of that stuff. I’d be delighted to spend my money to send my daughter to my alma mater, several of my family members have offered the unsolicited advice that it’s not worth the money when an online university also grants a BA.
My kid has an expensive hobby and zero interest in pursuing it as a career and plays an “common” musical instrument so I too spend money on things some people consider “stupid.”
Anonymous
She should also just drop it instead of inflaming it.
Anon
I know a lot of people with jobs in the arts, including musical theater. Yes it can take a long time to make it into a career. Yes some people will end up teaching (which can be incredibly fulfilling; not every teacher gets to put on whole musicals with their students every year!). It’s fine; they still have BAs and lots of skills and could get other jobs if they wanted.
Anon
My friend who is a middle-school theater teacher was an English major. I think at her school theater includes musical theater. She seems to be having a blast.
Anon
I’m so glad those middle school kids have an enthusiastic teacher doing what she loves.
Anonymous
I don’t understand how anyone has time for ‘facebook wars’. What business is it of anyone else what degree a person gets, or whether they can make a living with it?
Anonymous
I know someone with this background who has regular roles on Broadway. I know another who’s now a theater director of a local community theater. Pretty sure the theater director at my high school had a BA in musical theater. I don’t think they’re buying vacation homes anywhere, but they aren’t starving either. It’s entirely possible to make a career of this.
(Also these days I feel like there’s a whole lot of college degrees that are a lot of money for an unclear future…)
Anon
Amen to unclear futures. I think it matters a lot if you are borrowing $ or able to pay. If you will have loans to pay back at all, I think you don’t serve yourself well to not have a series of fallback plans. Unless you are in med school. But otherwise, if you are borrowing, have a plan! It won’t hurt you and no one is saying to give up your dream.
Anon
I know someone who borrowed to go to Berklee and then dropped out when she got pregnant.
Anon
I’d argue there’s no such thing as a clear future and that your major doesn’t matter at all. A college degree does. Absent going into something specific like engineering or accounting, many jobs will hire out of any major and it just doesn’t matter all that much.
Anonymous
Two relatives majored in theater. One is now a real estate developer. The other is a management consultant. They are both very successful. Another relative majored in Latin American Studies. He’s now a theater professional.
Life is long. Your choice in major doesn’t dictate the rest of your life.
Anon
I have a lot of friends and family members who got degrees in the arts and they’re all doing just fine. I think it does make sense to be realistic and pay attention to how much you’re paying (don’t take out ridiculous loans, especially for a graduate degree) and I’d probably advise against it if you’re the kind of person who hates teaching, as most of them spend at least some of their time teaching, whether they’re performers who also give private lessons or they’re high school teachers or college faculty. Or they work in administration or just do something completely different and do art on the side now. But otherwise I agree with the commenter who says that people who trash on art students should never watch a movie, read a book, or see a play. If you enjoy these things, recognize that they come from somewhere.
NYNY
I don’t know these people at all, but I’m rooting for the kid. Success or failure in the arts depends a lot on luck, but studying the arts teaches discipline, problem-solving, and the ability to fail at something and keep going. Those skills can be applied to any career.
Anon
So as an English major, who now has my dream job working in government that pays six figures, but at times, had to give up on the dream position to take something more financially sound, I have lots of thoughts on this topic
I first thought, is that your major choice and your job prospects seem to be a mix of following your dreams, but also making good financial choices. So, if you want to be an English or a theater, major, choose a school that’s more affordable. I spend a lot of time defending English majors, but I also spend a lot of time questioning why anyone would go into six figures of debt for an English major. My parents were not in the position to help that much with school, so I went to a private university that offered me a lot of aid and I graduated with about $20,000 of debt about 10 years ago and I was able to pay it off, by the time I was 30. Had I gone to a different school? I would’ve taken on a lot more debt and that would’ve been a mistake. But, I also didn’t choose the cheapest school that I got into because that was not nearly as impressive academically, and my job prosecutes likely would’ve been limited by where I went.
Secondly, I think it’s important to Major and whatever you want, but get a second Major, or a minor and something you can fall back on. I did not do this, I double majored in English, and international relations and minor in Spanish so it worked out for me, but I, would council people going to school to pick up a minor in business, education, or computer science or something that they can capitalize on if they need to. My mom is a teacher, and she loves it, and she always recommended that my sister and I are in education because you can get a teaching job that would align with pretty much any skill set or interest. For example, my sister is an accountant and my mom encouraged her to teach math it need be. Obviously, teaching is not for everyone but in some areas you can make decent money. It is a steady job, and teaches are so needed right now It is lower barrier to entry than previously.
Third, as a technical writer/copy editor I spend a lot of time fixing peoples, absolutely awful writing. I think that writing, verbal communication, research, skills, critical, thinking skills, analytical skills are extremely important, and most degrees will give you some if not all of those, but a social sciences or humanities degree from a decent program is going to set you up really well. With those skills, regardless of what your major is, if you can do lots and lots of things.
Lastly, there are so many jobs in career fields that you don’t even know exist when you were 18. I mentioned earlier I have my dream job, I am a technical writer for a government agency that focuses on international issues. I spend my day writing, editing, and developing presentations on topics that are really interesting to me. I had no idea that this type of work existed until I was like 25. I had originally chosen my mix of majors because I thought I would go to law school and work in immigration law. I decided to work a few years before law school because I was intimidated by how expensive it is and ended up never even taking the LSAT once I got into this line of work.
I know a lot of people thought this middle-class kid was crazy for taking out loans to Major in English, but I am 30 and I now make more than my parents do combined. It would’ve absolutely have been a problem if I refused to get a boring desk job and just wanted to be a novelist or something like that and I think I would still be living off of Ramen if that was my plan. However, I was literally able to combine all of my interests into one job that is stable provides great benefits and pays me six figures.
No all this to say, I think, college, major, and career choice need to be a mix of your interests, and what’s financially feasible. I encourage people to Major in whatever they want, so long as they have a second major or minor, that could be a reasonable back up plan. I also encourage students who are majoring in jobs that don’t necessarily directly translate into a career, like accounting, to have a plan A, B, and C. Maybe plan a is to do the thing you’re passionate about and find a job in that field (full time actor), Plan B is to have a less exciting job that still related to what your passion about (teach theater, bookkeeper for an arts org), and see is to have a unrelated job that provides for you and you can do your passion in your own time.
Anon
Hear, hear for English majors! So many people can’t write a sentence to save their lives. I am a communications major married to an English/history major. I will absolutely encourage my kids to get a liberal arts degree if they are inclined, as I think college should be about learning how to think and reason and communicate. And like you said, there are MANY career paths open to people who can do those things.
Thanks to this board, I will strongly discourage law school, lol (unless there is a clear passion and we inherit a windfall!)
Anon
+1 to double-majoring. Best decision I made and not really hard to do (n/a possibly if it were to add an engineering degree onto something like vocal performance, but it was just a richer college experience with a lot of options leaving it).
anon
…this is a great example of why I quit social media.
Anonymous
Amen. Me too.
Anonymous
What on earth? I have a degree in music performance and my daughter is starting a vocal performance degree this fall. I also have another bachelor’s degree and two non-music graduate degrees, and my daughter is planning to double-major in economics. I posted on social media when she was accepted to the music program but did not say anything about econ because she doesn’t declare that major until the end of her sophomore year. Exactly zero people posted anything critical. Who would even do that? I guess it helps that at least 50% of my Facebook friends are amateur musicians, but still–people are never anything but congratulatory on any college acceptance post. I think my non-musician husband may have had some private discussions with his dude friends about the marketability of the music degree but that was definitely not all over social media. Honestly I’m much less worried about her future with a music degree from a fantastic SLAC that works to help students set and achieve realistic career goals than I would be if she were majoring in something like communications or business management at one of our state universities.
Anon
I think it’s rude to offer unsolicited opinions to a kid that’s not your own and that you’re not paying for, but this isn’t really a fair analogy. Obviously it’s a different story if the kid is planning to double major in economics and will have a more practical degree to fall back on.
Anon
It’s still rude to opine whether it’s correct that another person’s kid has a fall back major like Econ.
Seventh Sister
There’s no sure thing. As an Angeleno, I know plenty of people who have tried to “make it” acting or in film production. Some have wound up being working professionals in that industry, others go back to grad school or go into white-collar jobs that wouldn’t be out of place in Maryland or Ohio or Minnesota. Even for the ones who have “made it,” that often looks a lot more like “recurring role on cable TV show” or “head writer for a cartoon that you assumed had been cancelled ten years ago.” Neither of my kids have any interest in showbiz, which is sort of a relief but I would support them if they were interested (having a free place to live in Southern CA is a huge advantage). My youngest is kind of a walking stand-up comedian, but I’m sure those skills would be transferrable to other industries.
I was doing an Internet deep dive into a minor actor’s backstory (she’s not famous famous but some big tv roles) who had attended a Very Big Deal acting conservatory and had a BFA. She was interviewed by a friend from the program for some magazine, and one of the things that came up was that of their class of about 20-odd people, Minor Actor was the only one who was still working professionally as an actor 15 years after graduation. Minor Actor is obviously quite talented (and pretty and thin), but I’m sure that there were people in their class that were just as talented (and pretty and thin) that just didn’t get that big break because Famous Movie Star’s daughter got the ingenue role or The Director’s Spouse wanted the part instead.
Anon
I think that the guy who played the cop brother-in-law in Breaking Bad and the guy who played D’Angelo in the first seasons of The Wire are like that.
My school’s drum majorette is a cartoon voice actress in SoCal.
Seventh Sister
Yup. A friend of mine has been a day player on nearly every network sitcom you could imagine. He’d be THRILLED if he got a recurring part on well, anything. Another does a fair amount of live theater but being in a huge action movie (even in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it role) means he now gets called about being on Season 23 of Stupid Spy Show or whatever.
Anon
Sounds like it’s none of anybody’s business!
Anon
Yeah. It sounds ugly to me. What on earth would posess someone to say anything other than “congratulations” to news that someone got into a musical theatre program?
Anonymous
Objectively, there are many careers where the entry point is just having a college degree in anything and go from there. So it isn’t really a prediction of what the kid might do anyway. But also, it’s just snobbish to worry about people not having a lot of money. Many people live fulfilling lives without a lot of money. Let the kid enjoy college.
Anon
Did she as them if they thought they should spend the money on this degree? Or are they just nosey?
Anonymous
Do you think something like this is ok or would you advise aunt not to do it?
Aunt is in her early 60s. Was forced to retire about two years ago upon lay off and being unable to land another job in her industry. She is financially set so luckily she doesn’t have to work but is having a hard time filling her days as she’s single, few friends and they still work or they live far away. She has found some volunteer groups and is now looking to see if she could get some minor consulting roles in her old industry.
She told me yesterday that she’s been going to a nearby university a few days per week since the weather got nice and spending two hours to four hours there. It’s a beautiful campus, with adirondack chairs and benches all over, so she’ll basically go, grab a chair, read or people watch for a few hours. She often walks all around the campus, getting her steps in. She tells me she’s careful to not go inside academic buildings even though they are open during the day because she doesn’t want to be called out as an outsider on campus. If she ever needs coffee or a rest room, she heads over the to the health system buildings on the same campus, as those buildings are open for public and she has gone to them for medical appointments before.
Anything wrong with this? In a way you’d think a university wouldn’t want someone treating its campus as a park. In another way, this is an older lady not hurting or bothering anything. Even though she isn’t interacting with anyone there, I think being out in a bustling campus just makes her feel less lonely. I encouraged her to see if there’s anything at the university she could get involved in – maybe the library offers guest passes, maybe a lecture or concert open to public though I assume that’d be at night, maybe auditing a class.
If I’m being totally honest my mind went to – this is America, educational buildings get locked down. What if there was a shelter in place? She isn’t affiliated with the university so IDK that she’d receive any text about it – is this safe? But then IDK this is America – we still go to Walmart, movies, church, and everywhere else. Thoughts?
Anon
You’re way overthinking this. She’s fine. Why would you get involved in her business and tell her not to do this? Nobody is going to notice a nice old lady hanging around.
Anon
+1
Senior Attorney
+1
Anon
Yeah this is the weirdest concern I’ve read here in a long time and that’s saying something.
Anon
Early 60s does not mean “old lady” by the way.
Senior Attorney
Thank you.
Anon
Ehh, objectively it is.
Senior Attorney
Ehh, depends on your frame of reference.
Anon
I don’t like the phrase “little old lady” in general (it feels sexist to me) but I don’t think most people today would apply it to a 60 year old. Michelle Obama is 60 this year and still seems incredibly fit and strong. Of course not everyone is blessed with her genetics and hard work toward fitness but most 60 year olds don’t really look “old.” To me that phrase describes your late 70s or early 80s when people are actually losing body mass and starting to look frail and small. I’m in my 30s fwiw.
Anon
The women from Friends are right around 60 now and the last thing you’d think seeing any of them is “old lady.”
So-So Charlotte
This sounds like a fun and completely harmless way to pass the time.
Davis
This sounds lovely for her. Your suggestions about getting more involved in the campus and attending open events like a concert would be great. I think she’d be welcome in the student-center type buildings or the library, especially for the restroom. There may also be food options or shops to check out.
I would have no safety or lockdown concerns. Enjoy it!
Anon
I have worked at a large research university for 20 years. This is literally what our campus is for.
anonshmanon
+1. I think people here would riot if the university suddenly wanted to prevent the public from accessing campus!
Can’t even
Yes. I have been on campuses with strict security for different reasons. It is a very different vibe. If the campus police – excuse me campus safety personnel – don’t want your aunt there, they will ask her to leave and if needed escort her off campus. They won’t attack her. They won’t issue a citation or arrest her, unless they have reason to and are deputized to by the town or county police or sheriff or whatever. It seems like you don’t trust your aunt’s judgment. Do you trust the campus administration?
Anon
+1 I’ve also worked at a large research university for years, and this is completely normal and common. Tons of people of all ages do this. The university only cares if they’re 1) squatting in buildings, 2) doings dr*gs or 3) trying to sneak into buildings that aren’t open to the public, e.g., dorms. Sounds like she’s doing none of these things, so no reason to worry.
FYI, it’s fine for a member of the public to use the bathroom in an academic building during the day time at any university I’ve worked at.
Anon
Depends on the size of the university, but many smaller ones or ones in less populated areas really feel like they’re there for the community: non affiliated people run on the track, take walks around the scenic campus, and attend various events on campus.
Unless it’s a closed campus (which IME is rare), I think what she’s doing is totally fine if not normal
Anon
Also there’s nothing wrong with her using the restroom or buying a coffee from an open university building
Anon
Campuses are open places and in my experience people (faculty, students, staff, etc) love it when people enjoy them. Why on earth wouldn’t a university want people treating the campus like a park?
And U.S. campuses are like Walmart, grocery stores, city streets, etc — open spaces in a country that loves its guns.
anon
Retirees do this all the time!
It is one reason why retiring to cities that have open college campuses and a lot of community programs is so popular. Some of them even offer some broader accessibility to local residents, many offer classes for the community and of course you can usually access many of the public eateries and buy tickets to sporting events/arts events.
Anon
My college town is a big magnet for retirees and courts with with auditing classes, etc. In any given day, there are random people on campus — visiting students, delivery drivers, HVAC technicians, etc. If there is a shelter in place and the school isn’t on break, she will know if she is at all observant of her surroundings. Even if she doesn’t get an alert, 90% of the people around her will.
Anonymous
IDK how they do shelter in places now but I wouldn’t be surprised if it just pushed out to all the cell phones in a certain area, rather than JUST cell phones that are registered with the university because as the poster above says you have everyone from visiting professors to FedEx to HVAC techs there on a given day, it isn’t JUST students and staff. And btw if this is really a concern for you, why not have her download Twitter or X? EVERY university uses it to push out info, esp urgent info. She can simply follow that university’s twitter account. Fun bonus is that she may then also learn that such and such a capella group is performing on the main lawn at 2 pm or whatever – so it’ll be additional things to check out.
Anon
As an alert and warning emergency management professional, universities don’t have the ability to send a WEA, which is the push alert to all cell phones in a particular area. If she’s able to sign up for the university system (many don’t allow individuals unaffiliated With the university to sign
up, but some do) she should 100% do that. Likewise, she should sign up for the town or county where she lives and where the university is alert text messages
An.On.
I would definitely encourage her to see if there’s any interesting classes she could enroll in and for other lectures or theater or other extracurricular offerings. But if she just wants to go to campus and sit in a chair, ain’t nothing wrong with that.
Mac
Most college campuses want the public to visit. They have small museums, events, libraries, recreation centers, and a lively atmosphere. It’s often a selling point for retirees.
Anonymous
As someone twenty years her junior who LOVES college campuses, this sounds great. Heck I’m younger and have a job and have often headed to a college campus to walk and think – decades after college, when I had a life or career decision to make. There’s something about the energy on a campus that I find invigorating especially in nice weather when everyone is out.
BTW realize that college campuses have visitors ALL THE TIME. There are always people there who are there to give a talk or to attend a talk or to attend a conference or watch their spouse or child give their first lecture. There are people interviewing for jobs. There are people checking out the campus because maybe they want to apply there in the future. There are people who came for their cardiologist appointment at the health system and then it was a nice day so they walked around campus and then saw lots of people walking out of a building with pizza boxes so they went inside the building, discovered it was the student union, and decided to grab lunch. She’d be more than welcome to grab a lunch or coffee at a student union. Just ask if they take cash or credit cards instead of just student IDs but IME they almost always do, as they expect a certain percentage of the people listed above to maybe want coffee.
Anon
This is normal; I think she’s a little more anxious about it than she should be! I agree she should go to some public lectures, visit the art gallery, attend a concert, and get a guest library card. She can buy coffee anywhere it is sold, not just the health system buildings.
Campuses get locked down for threats that wouldn’t lead to any kind of lock down on a public street. If anything, it’s safer.
Anon
Aunt doesn’t sound anxious, OP does.
VVex
I work in higher ed communication, and I honestly love to see community members enjoying our campus. It doesn’t matter if she is an alum, although people might assume an older person is. This sort of local connection is something universities generally want to encourage. Of course she could audit a class, attend events (there are many free, public events every day–most universities have online event calendars that list everything from little seminars to major lectures and musical events), and enjoy facilities like libraries and museums. But she is equally welcome if she just wants to stroll around and enjoy the gardens and trails, take in the views, and visit the bookstore.
Anon
I studied for my actuarial exams for years and years at a university library. I was not a student there. The library was open to the public and had clean restrooms and a large, quiet, sparsely populated study room on the upper level of the library. I am so grateful some public spaces still exist, and I’m glad OP’s aunt is taking advantage of it!
Cerulean
As long as your aunt isn’t Brother Jed, then I think it’s great!
Anon
She’s doing totally normal things. Most colleges and universities specifically have outreach to folks like her because it’s also a great donor profile. In some states people over 60 (or 65) can even audit courses for free. Good for her for getting out and enjoying the campus.
Anecdata
I mean, I wouldn’t get into a Facebook bologna about it, but if someone were talking up all the oodles of $$$ they were pouring into getting their kid this opportunity, I would roll my eyes a little (Internally! Just internally!). Just because it’s so outside of the options most kids and families have
Anon
This is totally ok to do. Universities put id scanners on doors they don’t want you to walk through.
Anonymous
Universities usually welcome community members to enjoy their campuses. Fun story: When I got married I worked at a college with a lovely campus. My wedding reception was at the faculty club and we took our pictures outdoors on campus. During the photo session, a community member was walking his pet RABBIT off-leash through the campus. The rabbit hopped into our photo and posed, so our wedding portrait has a bunny in it. When I told my students this story they laughed and said, “Oh, you met the bunny man!” Apparently everyone knew about the guy.
I bet there are probably a few readers here who know exactly what college I’m talking about.
Seventh Sister
I think this is lovely and I wouldn’t worry about it at all. My college and law school campus always seemed to have visitors who weren’t students or staff and it was fine.
Anonymous
I went to a small liberal arts college in small little town where they very very much encouraged this. Town gown relationships were a thing they actively worked to cultivate. I’m having trouble understanding the problem from the university’s perspective.
Anon
There are many events on university campuses for retirees. I really hope you don’t say a thing to her. She would be fine using the bathrooms or going to the library as well. I recently spent some time in the Yale Library with my son.
Anon
I’m starting to listen to the Retirement Answer Guy podcasts. For anyone who has thought about this more, is the order of taking assets out of accounts:
401K/taxable investment accounts
keep a cash cushion in case the market crashes (I think he says 5 years and since I lived through 2008, I don’t think a large cash cushion IN retirement is a bad idea)
take $ from Roths last
anon
I’m nowhere near retirement and so I haven’t given this a lot of thoughts, but I would think you want to balance the taxable vs non taxed assets so that you stay within a certain tax bracket and not pay too much tax any given year. Are you thinking your withdrawal rate would be smaller in the beginning compared to later on? If so, that may be why it’s recommended to withdraw from taxable accounts first.
Anonymous
Any sweet snack ideas that are also low in saturated fat? Besides fruit and low fat yogurt of course? All I can come up with are cereal and cinnamon raisin bread – which if fresh and warm, I don’t usually even need to put anything on.
I’m realizing that my sweet snacks of choice are always chocolate related and pretty high in the bad fats – think chocolate candy or cookies often with chocolate in them. I know people say chocolate is good for you but reality is for the average american, non european chocolate, 4 little hersheys miniatures can easily have 6 mg of saturated fat. Same with two milano cookies having 4 mg of saturated fat. Focused on saturated fat specifically as that’s the one that contributes to LDL. What do you all snack on if you want something sweet? I’m hoping that as I stop buying these types of things, I won’t want them as much – like they’ll taste too sweet or something.
FWIW I’m usually a salty snack person and I find that easier. Nuts are my go to there – being pretty high in the good fats. And even with junkier things like crackers, IDK I don’t find them as high in saturated fats as cookies or chocolate. And there tend to be alternatives that taste pretty good to me – baked chips instead of regular, popcorn or rice cakes instead of chips.
Ideas?
Anon
It’s one of the biggest myths of the 20th century that saturated fat makes you fat and/or has a direct connection to the level of cholesterol in your blood. If you enjoy eating snacks with saturated (NOT tr*ns fats, which are a different beast), go right ahead. Foods like full-fat yogurt, hardboiled eggs, and sharp cheddar cheese are MUCH more nutrient-dense and unprocessed than cereal.
Anonymous
I agree that eggs, yogurt, and cheese are nutrient dense and thus worth it but sorry saturated fat DOES have a connection to LDL. Granted that connection is more clear for some people than others. There are some people who can eat three egg omelets seven days a week and their LDL doesn’t go up at all. There are others who if they eat more than three eggs per week, LDL starts to rise. Those of us in that latter category, sure we eat eggs, yogurt, and cheese because it isn’t the 90s, we realize now the benefits of those kinds of fats, but we don’t eat them just for snacking.
Anon
You’re going to see a worse hit to cholesterol (especially triglycerides) if you snack on cinnamon sugar toast and baked chips. Pro-inflammatory and sugary snacks hit the system hard for little satiety or nutritional benefit.
Anon
Full fat yogurt correlates with better health outcomes than low free yogurt.
OOO
+1
Chrissy
Lots of people are afraid of perfectly healthy fats. It’s probably useless to try to change their minds—we all read and absorb the information that speaks to us. I’m personally “team full fat” milk, dairy, and yogurt.
Anon
It’s just a shame because well-meaning people are harming their own efforts. The low-fat craze in the 80s and 90s probably did more damage to women’s nutrient absorption and arteries (from horrific fake sugar and fat substitutes) than the previous 30 years.
Anon
OP didn’t ask you whether she should eat more saturated fat. She asked for snack ideas. Let’s go ahead and assume people know what they want their diets to look like.
Anon
She’s concerned about cholesterol and wants to blast it with sugary carbs. Talk about a wrongheaded approach…
Anonymous
Pretty sure the OP mentioned fruit, yogurt and nuts, so we can assume she eats those things. Sorry you’ve never wanted a cookie or piece of chocolate in your life? IDK how the sanctimonious people on this board function or hold down a job sometimes.
Anon
Oh, I eat plenty of cookies – I practice intuitive eating and have no dietary restrictions. But if I were concerned about my cholesterol, they wouldn’t be my first choice. I’d focus on eating whole, unprocessed foods that are higher in fat and lower in starch.
Anon
She. Did. Not. Ask. You.
She wants low fat snack suggestions. She was perfectly clear.
Chrissy
She can eat what she wants, obviously. The commenters are responding to her premise that low-fat is automatically healthy.
Anon
Right – if you post with a premise that doesn’t make sense, you should expect some commenters to notice. That’s what happens when you post on a board where a variety of opinions will come in.
Anon
Cinnamon sugar toast but made with honey instead of sugar so it will adhere without butter.
Former junior associate
I like low fat cottage cheese with fruit; smoothies can also work (equal portions 2% milk and strawberries, whatever amount of banana you want, whatever amount of peanut butter powder you want). To swing wildly in another direction, gummy bears aren’t low calorie but they are low fat; other non-chocolate candy (starburst?) might also fit that bill.
Anon
Whole wheat toast with peanut butter and apple slices. Otherwise, I like to bake and am mostly (but not entirely) vegan, so I always have a freezer full of reasonably healthy muffins or fruit and nut bars, or I make a vegan fruit crisp with oil and oat milk instead of butter and lots of nuts and seeds (but easy on the sugar).
Anonymous
I like cocoa coated almonds. And if I am really craving sugar, yogurt covered peanuts. But mostly I feed my (very rare now) sweet tooth with savory protein-rich foods that klll hunger.
Anonymous
I like Greek yogurt with sliced mango and a little bit of chocolate sauce drizzled over.
Anonymous
Healthy trail mix
Runcible Spoon
Kind bars that are chocolate and peanut butter-free
Apples with a smear of hummus (instead of peanut butter)
Thin rice crackers (Lieber brand is good) with a smear of hummus or jam
Wheat toast with honey or jam
Anonymous
I’m team full fat for myself, but if I’m going to make something for guests who would like something very sweet but for some reason can’t have saturated fat, I think meringue is great. Basically sugar and egg whites, and can be combined with lots of other things. Meringue fruit salad is sort of a Pavlova without the cream. Where I live meringue “kisses” are little meringue cookies to have as a treat.
If I’m going to make something for a guest that wants something semi-sweet rather than ultraprocessed sweet, it would be homemade cake. I often use less sugar than the recipes says, but even just the homemade part will make it better. Look for Italian recipes for semi-sweet cakes with nuts and olive oil, things like lemon polenta cake, or use an oil you like for brownies or carrot cake or squash or banana bread. Make in a loaf pan and freeze individual pieces.
Vicky Austin
What’s everyone looking forward to this weekend? And does anyone have a good show they’re enjoying right now? DH and I are in a television rut.
OOO
I just finished Girls5Eva and now I’m watching Life & Beth
Jules
I’m going to hear an amazing musician tonight, at the wine bar where I met my SO, excited about that.
And we have been watching Poker Face with Natasha Lyonne on Peacock, it’s excellent.
Anonymous
I’ve been watching Death in the Dorms. I’m not sure whether I’m enjoying it since a few episodes have left me very angry…
Anon
Purim carnival and a kid birthday party!
I know it’s old but I just watched The Crown and I thought that was incredibly well done.
Anon
I’m finally watching the last season. I have been a little bummed out about it, halfway through the season. I was always Team Diana, as one of those tweens who got up at the crack of dawn to watch her wedding. They did that poor girl WRONG.
Anonymous
I am going to a local festival with my BF and another couple. The bands playing are ones I saw multiple times in college/just post- college, including one I socialized with. My BF, who is younger, has informed me that our friends have never heard of 2 of the 3 bands, which I now realize were popular on the college circuit when those 3 were in elementary/middle school. Ouch.
Ekaterin Nile
Just got the new Martha Wells Murderbot novel from the library, DH and I have no plans with anyone (due to anticipated snow), and I’ve been swamped at work and public facing for a couple of weeks. I’m going to sit around and read all weekend, occasionally getting up to work out and hit the hot tub.
New shows: I just started Three Body Problem, and it’s gooooooood.
Anon
I just started watching the new Shogun show on Hulu and so far I’m enjoying it. Also saw an interesting interview with some of the producers and cast about the efforts they made to have it be period authentic (given that the novel wasn’t, particularly).
Anon
Dh and I are watching that. We are old enough to have seen the original mini-series, so can’t help drawing comparisons, but we are enjoying this version.
Anonymous
Finally watched The Good Fight. Watching the figure skating championships; getting ready for a trip to the snow.
Anon
Palm Royale on Apple TV is good so far! I also binged Love is Blind on Netflix and that was a fun train wreck – not as good as prior seasons but still good!
Anonymous
I watched the royal – Korean, on Netflix. One of the top 5 streamed all 2023. The first episode was extremely hard for me to get through- I can’t handle gore, and I nearly cried while fast forwarding some scenes. (Involves very graphic physical abuse, children engaged in peer on peer bullying). Once I made it to episode 3 or 4 I was totally hooked.
Anon
Help me dress practically but project “gravitas”. I am doing site tours with the client and building engineering. I need to look professional and be able to climb a couple of ladders. What does that look like?
pink nails
Oh I do this sometimes!
First find out about safety equipment. You probably need safety shoes with hard toes. Amazon has a bunch of actual good options. I got a pair of sneaker safety shoes last year that are actually pretty cute.
You may also need a hard hat and hi vis vest.
Even if they’re not requiring safety shoe (doubtful) closed toe lace up shoes.
Next, obviously pants that you can move in. Not wide leg. If your office/industry is business casual like mine, this would be a time for straight cut dark wash jeans.
I would top with a company logo Jacket with pockets/zipper where you can stick your phone and keys and not risk losing them.
Do you need to take extensive notes? I would not walk around with a portfolio myself. I would use my phone (explicitly telling the client that’s what I was doing; I never do this otherwise) so that I didn’t need to carry anything extra. If you need a file/portfolio, bring a small very lightweight bag you can stick it in. Maybe a neutral black backpack?
pink nails
Oh and wear your hair back. If you don’t need a hard hat, I would still wear a baseball hat of some sorts. Skip any expensive accessories or sunglasses that could fall off tall places, although depending on the construction site you may want sunglasses that aren’t $$$$
Can’t even
This is perfect
This is a time for casual business, as opposed to business casual
Anon
All good advice. Also, check with the client and sites for the PPE requirements. If you are going to manufacturing sites, I would make sure to bring an extra set of clothes. Getting changed after being in the plant is super common due to dust, grime etc. Colombian PFG button downs are super popular options.
Anon
I am once again asking for your mascara recommendations. I’m not willing to spend $40 on mascara and would be happiest if it were $15ish.
I have too many that flake off (even tubing mascaras) and I’m not getting the length or volume I’d like. I have shortish lashes so I prefer a skinny brush.
Anon
I’ve been using Maybelline Lash Sensational for years. It’s better than the more expensive options and I hate spending more than $15 on a product I replace at least every 6 months.
Leatty
+1
The non-waterproof version also doesn’t smear, which is great.
Anonymous
I like L’Oreal Voluminous Original Washable Mascara.
JP
I’ve heard really good things about Clio Kill Lash Superproof Mascara (both the long curling and volume curling options).
Anon
I just dipped my toes into the tubing mascara world and tried both the ELF and L’Oreal versions. I really liked the L’Oreal – Double Extend Beauty Tubes Lengthening Mascara
I also am pretty loyal to Benefit’s They’re Real. Caveat that I am much more interested in length than volume and hate clumpy lashes.
Anon
Kiehls is having a buy one-get one free sale. I am very budget conscious and so haven’t previously bought from them but now I’m tempted. Would the avocado eye cream be worth the splurge? Or do you have any tried and and true favorites to rec? Thanks.
AIMS
I have it and don’t love it. It’s very very thick. If that’s your thing, maybe you would like it but I find it too heavy for my eyes. I love the rosemary magic hair elixir. One bottle lasts a long time and really makes my hair look and feel healthier.
Anon
I don’t like the avocado eye cream — it irritates my eyes, and I don’t really have sensitive eyes. Their Ultimate Strength hand salve is great.
Anonymous
I really like their Midnight Recovery oil. It calms any breakouts or dryness from retinols. I also put it on before a plane flight, to prevent the dreadful dry skin a flight can cause.
Anon
The best things at Kiehl’s, in my opinion, are the Crème de Corps body butter (so moisturizing and yummy smelling!) and the classic Musk fragrance – either as a spray EDT or a shower gel.
The rest I wouldn’t get sucked into. The facial skincare is ok but not worth it.
Anon
Any one buying any of the DVF/Target merchandise? I’ve looked but haven’t been too excited about any of the prints.
Anon
So much is out of stock even for shipping (in SoCal).
Seventh Sister
If you’re in LA, the Target in DTLA (on Figueroa) and the one at La Cienaga / Obama reliably have a wide selection of the capsule collections.
Anon
I bought the black and white Sea Spots wrap dress, green Sea Twig throw blanket and Vintage Weave/Ginko/Poppy 3-pack travel pouches from the DVF collection. Wrap dresses typically haven’t been my favorite (I’m short and busty which in theory should work for wrap dresses perhaps but have always found them fussy) but figured why not try since it was in stock.
Cat
The clothes are super picked over and my local city Targets didn’t carry much in-store to begin with, but I ordered a throw (intended use is tablecloth for our patio) and one of the cute reusable shopping totes since one of mine is on its last legs.
Anon
It wasn’t on my radar so I just went and checked it out. Verdict: meh
Lexi
Nope, really disappointed in the collection. Not buying any of it.
Cat
Update, my city Target had some of the clothes on display. Woof. I know you’re not going to get ‘real’ DVF quality for $50 but the colors were garish and the materials felt super cheap in person. A total miss compared to, say, Lilly or Agua Bendita.
Senior Attorney
I found the tee with the face in my local store and snapped it up (last one) and I’m happy with it.