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Weekend Open Thread

woman wears blue-on-blue stripe top with boatneck and elbow-length sleeves

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

There are a lot of ways to do stripes, but this one strikes me as elegant somehow. It's probably the elbow sleeves — I'm always a huge fan of them. (I was sad when Caslon really reduced sizes and colors for their bestselling elbow tee… but you can find similar ones at Everlane or even Amazon.)

This particular stripey T-shirt looks great in the blue-on-blue version, but the white-on-indigo and black & white version also look lovely.

The shirt is $88, available in XS-XXL at Nordstrom and Zappos.

Looking for something similar? Everlane has a striped scoopneck with elbow sleeves for $40 (XS-L), and Amazon seller LilyCoco has one under $30 that's a really wide boatneck/off the shoulder (XS-3XL).

If you're hunting for striped tees in general, Boden, Tuckernuck, and AYR have a ton of options that look great; this cashmere striped tee from J.Crew also looks fabulous — and it goes up to size 3X.

Sales of note for 12.5

171 Comments

  1. Have any of you considered moving from a field like law or finance or accounting into some form of operations? I am realizing that the part of my job that I’m best at, and much better than others at, is the project management – figuring out a plan, making sure all the pieces are coming together, managing people towards a goal. I’m fine at the substantive piece but not as good as others. I am valued and growing in my role because so few other people are good at the management/operations piece, but I feel “less than” and wonder if I shouldn’t just be leaning into what I’m best at.

    1. Are you in house? From what I understand from friends, a lot of in house lawyers transition into business roles.

    2. Sometimes Project Managers aren’t valued by companies as much as people who are in more specialized roles such as law, finance, or accounting. They’re deemed as being very replaceable (whether or not that’s fair or accurate) so I don’t know if you’d be as valued if you focus on that separately from your current role.

    3. I moved from employment law to in house high level HR, which similarly capitalizes on my administrative and strategic skills and interests. I love it. I also had a lot of angst about it – I have a very fancy law degree, etc. but I now spend my day doing the aspects of my prior career that I actually enjoyed.

      1. saaaame. I came from a research background, and switched to research operations. The day-to-day fulfillment of doing the things I really care about is worth a ton. Also, I click extremely well with the research stakeholders because I understand their jobs, and in return they give me a lot of appreciation for how I perform. No regrets.

    4. tl;dr: beware, there may be dragons.

      I’m not in law or finance, but I moved from the client-facing side of my company into operations several years ago (have recently gone back to client work). Maybe it’s not the same everywhere, but at my company, the operations team is responsible for making things smooth sailing for the client-facing staff so they can focus on their projects and be as profitable as possible. Seems reasonable, right? In general, it is, but the problem is that you just deal with all of the company’s problems. Many of them are intractable and you’re going to have very little influence in fixing them. New projects being slow to get billing codes because the contract folks are slow/overwhelmed/have a very inefficient process? You can’t solve that problem on your own, you have to convince the contracts department to change something or hire more people (fat chance of that happening!). Project managers frustrated that it takes too long to get a subcontract set up? Guess what, the subcontracts folks have a well known (and reasonable) turnaround time for that, and PMs cannot treat every request as an emergency because they waited too long to ask for help. Leadership frustrated that PMs keep blowing budgets? PMs need to be more firm with their clients about staying in scope. PMs frustrated that they can’t see updated financials on a daily or weekly basis because they’re working on a tight budget? a) the company’s financial systems aren’t set up to do that, and nothing you do in operations will change that, and b) the PM could check everyone’s timesheets or ask staff to enter their hours into a spreadsheet to allow the PM to calculate spend on a more frequent basis (and you’d be happy to develop a spreadsheet to help them do that!), but the PM is too lazy to do that themselves or delegate that task. You can’t help a PM who won’t help themselves. Senior leaders frustrated by terrible timesheet compliance? You need to convince middle managers that they do actually need to care about it, and set an example by being compliant themselves. You have no avenue to impose any actual consequences for noncompliance because that’s not your role. Many people will want you to fish for them instead of learning how to fish for themselves. Sometimes it is your role to do the fishing, but a lot of times it’s your role to teach and people don’t want to hear that. Yes, I saw every one of these issues and plenty more. And this is to say nothing of personality conflicts and differences in priorities; company senior leadership might want one thing, but the team/function you’re supporting thinks they need something completely different. You’ll be asked to communicate and implement a lot of change management that is very unpopular.

      There are some occasional wins. Being able to connect people or teams across the company to achieve something awesome for a client is really fun. Analyzing problems and finding solutions is rewarding, even if you have zero leverage to actually implement any proposed changes (see my entire paragraph above). Being able to support senior leaders during crises or short turnaround, one-off situations is also rewarding (e.g., dealing with sudden WFH for the whole company). Taking a solution that worked in one area of the company (or on one project, etc.) and finding a way to apply it elsewhere is great. Supporting a team through the startup or shutdown of a facility or onsite team will earn you a lot of kudos.

      I also received advice from a very wise colleague that it is best to stay on the revenue-generation side of the business. Guess who is easier to cut when the company needs to do layoffs? The people not bringing in money for the company, even if it’s their job to make the company run more efficiently.

      2. Second all of this – also someone that was client facing and helped run a business line and then moved totally internally to dir. business operations. i worked directly w/c-suite and still had all of these issues. recently left my operations role

      3. + 1 to all of this. Also, OP, it’s an opportunity limiting move if you’re a lawyer. It’s hard to stand out if you move to a purely ops role. If you have aspirations of climbing the ladder, stay in legal and move to a high level business role later in your career. It’s easier to do because you maintain regular contact with senior leadership.

    5. IME, ops is paid less than attorneys in house, and if you are a corporate attorney, much of your work is project management, with a side of legal (the legal part being table stakes). I would not give up my salary to work at a job that, while important, is seen as a facilitating role, instead of a “player” role. I hope that makes sense.

      If you are thinking of moving truly to the business side, I see that as different than moving into project management. Lots of attorneys do that often when they have deep knowledge in a highly regulated industry, or they are plucked because of SME.

      1. Yes to all of this, I commented above, you’re taking yourself out of the game far too early. There’s often opportunities to move to the business side but at a later more strategic stage.

    6. You might find good opportunities in product management roles within fintech or taxtech departments. In my case I sit in the middle of legal, business and software teams to ensure the business operates compliantly at scale. It’s an interesting niche that often had operations groups layered within as well.

    7. Sh;@ rolls downhill and lands in Operations. Every over-promise to a customer. Every wacky, unfeasible, vanity project comes to you to execute. You will pull it off. And no one will ever understand what it took.

    8. I have a PhD, and I do operations now – work that barely requires a degree! Sigh.
      But I am good at it, and it gets done, and I find myself less able to do long-term strategic thinking these days. It’s easier to get things done that I can then check off, rather than blue-sky ideas that require intellectual depth. It also helps me find work life balance somehow, in a way that my consulting job never did.

  2. SA-I was inspired by your money diary. Can anyone else speak to being age 40 or so with debt/minimal retirement savings and making big gains without having a huge salary?

    1. I am in that position (nearly 40 with little savings) because I’ve always worked in a lower-paying career field and I’m not sure what the answer is. The money just isn’t there to save. I won’t have a parent giving me money or a house; I don’t have a spouse to share expenses; cost of living and inflation are outrageous. I cut all the expenses I can, but at the end of the day I just don’t have the money to be saving thousands of dollars a month.

      1. The best thing I did was stumble into a government job with a pension, and I didn’t start that until I was well past 40. Is that an option for you?

        1. Yes-I’m considering going back into a school-based counseling position for 10 years (until 50) precisely to be vested with a pension and healthcare benefits then transition to a therapy private-practice for less stress and higher pay.

          1. RIght! The healthcare benefits are another great aspect of a public sector retirement.

      2. The answer is that you don’t actually need to be saving thousands of dollars a month. $1,000 a month would actually be a great amount if you can swing it, bonus points if that includes employer match into your retirement and most of the rest is before taxes from your paycheck. If you can’t even save that much now, start where you can and work up to it by a little bit every year when you get a raise.

        You have 25+ years left in your career to save before retirement. That is a really long time for investments to grow, and they will grow. Check out the Nerdwallet investment calculator. $1,000 invested today (with zero additional investment) will be $5,725 in 25 years at a 7% return. If you have $25k invested now and add $1k/month for those 25 years, you’ll have nearly $1M in 25 years at that 7% return. Let the market do the work for you.

        Also: debt is expensive. I know you know that, and I’m definitely not judging. Student loans are necessary for most people, many people with tight finances can find themselves in credit card debt due to unexpected expenses (been there), and some people spend money they don’t have in certain seasons of their lives (again, no judgment; that’s not my particular vice but it is for a lot of people). If you have the ability to open a balance transfer card with 0% promotional interest, that can save you a lot of money if you are able to pay off the balance before the promotion ends. I did this when I had some unexpected medical expenses while I was underemployed and I think it saved me close to $500 in interest. That was a lot of money to me, and probably would be to you, too.

        If you can’t cut your budget any further, the other solution is to increase your pay. Maybe you love your lower-paying career field, but that doesn’t mean it’s serving you or that you can’t move to a different field, or different role within your field that pays better. Or that you can’t pick up a part time job for a few hours a week, or do some babysitting or odd jobs for a neighbor to earn some extra money.

    2. I’m curious how much of SA’s money came from her husband or parents. I don’t see how you are amass that type of money from nothing after 40 in a government job. And if she did, I want those secrets. I’m in a government job and barely able to save anything

        1. Her husband is a non-govermetal attorney and they own three houses in the LA area. That’s a lot of net worth. I’m in the Bay Area, and my house is almost richer than I am.

          1. Right? I thought I was too late when I bought my house after my second divorce — prices hadn’t done ANYTHING since the crash in the early oughts, then all of a sudden they started to go up again just as I was wanting to get into the market. But lo and behold, all of a sudden it’s ten years later and the house is worth almost double what I paid for it. So Cal real estate can make you some big money. (And Bay Area even more if you can get in!)

        2. Ha. My first divorce left us both in debt and my second one cost me half a million dollars and my house. I was the high earner in both marriages and was very lucky to get out without having to pay spousal support or split my pension. Parents left a total of about $200,000 split among four kids, I split my share with my own kid.

          My share is about half of our joint net worth and I freely admit a lot of it was luck, combined with a lot of years of hard core frugality. For example, I bought my house (the one that’s now at a rental) at a good (not great — I lost the house I bought at a great time in my second divorce) time so it’s appreciated by hundreds of thousands of dollars already. The government job was a blessing (and it was probaby an unusually high-paying government job, but there are plenty of them out there). The rest of it was living frugally and maxing out all the available tax-deferred savings vehicles. I may have started after 40 but that means there’s still 20+ years of growth in there. The lavish lifestyle I talk about now is VERY recent, let me assure you. For example, I sent my kid to state university and was able to cash flow it. I bought cars for cash and drove them into the ground. I didn’t take any European vacations until I started traveling with my current husband. I cooked at home and meal planned and clipped coupons.

          Honestly the secret is pay yourself first and live on what’s left. I was SCARED when I looked at all that debt at 40 and it put the fear of God into me, and I buckled down and put my financial security first, and it paid off. My life is VERY different now and sometimes I am still pinching myself.

          1. SA, thank you for being candid about your journey and all its ups and downs. I love that you put your kid through college and are now having the time of your life with a wonderful spouse. We are in the throes of scrimping to build our assets and save for college, and I can’t wait to enjoy the fruits of all the hard work (in 15 years).

          2. Thank you. This is me. Am single after a career in nonprofit & politics. Not a lot outside of my federal TSP account. Took my current local government job partly because of pension & benefits because I’m basically starting from scratch. Was able to buy a condo in the Bay Area during Covid thankfully, but it’s going to be a long road. Am putting 23% into retirement on top of my employer’s match and often wonder if it’s enough. Good to hear it gets better.

          3. SA, you are such a baller, in every way. I love hearing about your life trajectory.

          4. Good Lord, I don’t feel like a baller. I feel like a gigantic stumblebum who got lucky. But I surely do appreciate the thought! ;)

            And Lexi good grief! 23% into retirement! YOU are a baller!!

    3. Mid-40s here. I have ~$400,000 in various retirement accounts and my first priority with my finances is to max those account contributions out every year. I have only been able to max those accounts out within the past 5 years.

      I do not have a big law salary like many people who post here (AGI is high five figures), am the sole earner in my house, and am putting two through in-state college. MCOL area, no generational wealth, no inheritance, no spousal salary that subsidizes things. I am less than 5 years from owning my home outright and have no other debt. I am a stickler with planning and following my budget and live beneath my means so emergencies are not a dire problem. I don’t live in the fancy part of town and am never going to be featured on HGTV, but rather am okay with things like an outdated kitchen or builder-grade bathroom and save up for major upgrades until I can pay for them out of pocket. I don’t take expensive vacations but drive to stay with family, do low-cost outdoorsy trips or staycations, etc. I don’t spend designer clothing money but try to buy nicer things used and take care of them well.

      My lifestyle may not be flashy but it is pleasant and I feel content about my future financial security.

    4. 39 here and I started early. In-state tuition, minimal college debt, lived with the parents for years to save on rent. All of this allowed me to save aggressively while on a government salary. I would say that without the headstart, what you can do now is look to increase your salary so that there’s more available to save, and find a job with a pension. I started out in government, went private, now back at government. Even though I’m in an industry that’s not lucrative and I will never make big law or big tech salary, job hopping helped to maximize my earning potential within my industry’s range. The government pension and healthcare will also come in handy and help ease some of the anxiety about future costs.

    5. And also? I knew it was possible because even though my parents were consistently awful with money, they managed even though they never made a ton of money and they declared bankruptcy twice — once early in their marriage and once, believe it or not, right as they were retiring. My mom had a state teacher’s pension and they had the equity in their home, and even though I lost sleep over the prospect of them outliving their money for the entire six years before my dad passed away, they made it over the finish line and I saw how it was never too late to make better decisions.

      1. +1 to this

        My dad died when I was young, then my mom almost outlived her money. She eked over the finish line with a little equity in her very mortgaged house and about $5000 in her checking account.

        I’m in good shape for retirement now, but I was not until I was in my 40s. (59 now). Things I learned the hard way – having a new car is only for people richer than me. It’s a terrible waste of money. I’m in a 10 year old Volvo that I bought used and there are new car features I’d like to have, but it just doesn’t make financial sense. I will not be buying off the lot ever again in my life – the last time I did, I was mid 30s.

        Travel is also terribly expensive. I am glad we took the kids to Europe once, but it was once. Travel for a family of 4 is $$$$. Maybe we will do more when we’re fully retired, and will do so as a couple.

        My kids went / are going to state U and they knew that’s how much we would fund from day one. I will also not be paying for a lavish wedding for either of them.

        You can have a lot of things, but you can’t have it all unless you’re a founder or have generational wealth. It’s all about priorities.

        1. My college roommate used to say “You can have ANYTHING you want, but you can’t have EVERYTHING you want.” I repeat that to myself almost daily.

    6. I can speak to your question. I was 39 when I left BigLaw to work for the government. At the time, I had a mortgage (and no other debt) and not quite $500K invested (and no other assets). Twenty years later, I have > $2.5M. When I got this job, I started (a) maxing out both the 403b and the 457b accounts to which I had access and investing that money halfway between middle-of-the-road and slightly aggressive in mutual funds my government job offers and (b) spending far, far less than I had in BigLaw (no more take out every night, not as much fancy clothing, not quite as fancy hotels when traveling). As SA points out, I also will have a pension, although those are not as rich as they used to be.

      1. When you have both a 401(k) and a 403(b), it adds up fast. Especially if you have a match.

        2. Just to clarify, 401k and 403b accounts share the standard contribution limit. It’s a 457 that’s separate from a 401k or 403b and allows you to double contribute.

          (I’m not the previous poster but I also have both the 403b and 457, although I’m not yet at the point of being able to max both.)

          1. Thank you. I actually seem to have had 401(k) and 457 with separate contribution limits.

  3. Financial question – I’m trying to figure out how much to keep in an emergency fund, because my situation is somewhat unusual. I live with my parents, and my siblings and I (one also lives with them, the other has his own place about 15 minutes away) are their only heirs. I’m the secondary executor for both of them, after the other parent. The house has about 10 years left on the mortgage; it is not rented, we will inherit it. I mostly need an emergency fund to hold me over between their deaths, and me getting access to their life insurance policies and bank accounts. Something to pay the mortgage, utility bills, groceries, etc.

    How many months worth of funding for that do I need, and do I need any extra reserves for stuff beyond general living expenses?

    2. I second that. Good grief, are you seriously just sitting around waiting for them to die? They must be ridiculously loaded and the house must be super valuable if you think it will support you and your two siblings for life, after supporting them in their final years. (If you live in the US, there is almost no amount of money you can count on being enough to pay for an expensive final illness and have a lot left over.)

      1. No, I have a job, but I figured it might be useful to figure out how much of my pay I should keep in immediate cash-on-hand reserves vs. things like longer-term investments. (For the “why are you living with them” part – we get along reasonably well, and there aren’t a ton of rentals 1) with groceries and utilities included, 2) near transit and in a low-crime neighborhood 3) in the SF Bay Area 4) for $700 a month.) Yes, my financial plans are likely to change as I get older, but I didn’t figure “well, no point in planning for the situation I’ve got now in case I decide to get married and move to Denver in five years” was a good perspective to have on financial planning.

        1. I think SA has a good point that you can’t count on a big inheritance unless they’re obscenely wealthy. My grandmother went through $5M on end of life care. Most people don’t use that much, but your inheritance may be significantly depleted just on their healthcare needs. To say nothing of the fact that they could change their minds and give it all to charity.

          2. +1 my husband and I were just talking about this this week. Both sets of our parents are doing well and would appear to have assets that they will leave us however we absolutely do not plan around those assets or take them into account whatsoever when it comes to our financial planning.

    3. Yeah, this question comes off strange. Not sure where you are located and what the relevant ages are, but what if you get married? Start a family? Get a job in a different town? Just want to do your own thing? FYI I’m an only child and the sole heir of my reasonably wealthy parents and have never once accounted for that in my financial planning. I hope my parents live an extremely long life and spend every penny on fabulous trips and, if they ever need, the best end of life care.

    5. How much is this house worth? I’m having a hard time imagining how any house with 10 years left on the mortgage could support five people for the rest of their lives.

      1. I think about 1.5 million last time it got appraised? Two of us have jobs and the third is still in college, this isn’t going to be our only source of income, but my parents’ jobs are a lot more lucrative than mine. (They work for Big Tech companies, I work for the state.) I do not get paid enough to cover the mortgage and all the other expenses without savings of some kind, the life insurance payout, or access to their bank accounts. So I figured it would be a good idea to have some kind of savings so I can make the mortgage payments before I can get into the bank accounts. Obviously if I decide to get married and move to Denver then the financial plans need to change, but I’m not planning on getting married and moving to Denver any time soon.

        2. Sorry but if you’re making your own money why would you need to worry about getting their life insurance before you can buy groceries?

          1. I used bad phrasing there, sorry. Groceries I can handle. The mortgage payments are pretty close to my monthly take-home pay, because I’m pretty much fresh out of school and this is an entry-level job. Between them and all the other things that I’ll need to pay for, it would be enough of a problem that I’d like to have some cash reserves to pull from. In five years I’ll have spent enough time in grade to get a promotion, or switch to a non-entry-level job with better pay, and then the outlook will be better. But five years is not now and accidents happen all the time.

    6. Is the question how much to put an emergency fund versus long-term investments. In that case, I would figure out what percentage of the costs your salary can support, and probably save about 10 months of the difference between that and what you anticipate the carrying costs for everything will be. If that’s not the question, I’m really confused about your situation

    7. The answer is a job that supports you.

      I’m sorry if this sounds harsh. One of my parents is an only child and spent decades bragging about being the only heir to grandparents’ estate. Grandparents were well-to-do but not rich, and two things reduced the estate beyond what Parent expected to inherit: early retirement and the 2008 crash.

      Parent is poor and about to lose the house, because Parent never got a real job.

      1. I’m working on it, but the state’s job promotion track is pretty inflexible. In about five years, I should be making enough money to cover the mortgage on my own indefinitely. In the meantime, I need to figure out how much money from my paycheck to put aside in savings as an emergency fund instead of investing it.

        1. Why are you acting like you’re inheriting this house outright when you have 2 siblings? You have to share it with them and they may be able to force a sale if they don’t want to cover the mortgage.

        2. What happens if your parents need extended care such that they can’t cover the mortgage but are alive, so you don’t have access to life insurance or bank accounts?

          That’s the plan you need.

          1. But is it? Emergency funds are in case she loses her job and has to support herself on savings for a while. Her parents would still be alive in that scenario. Her parents should have an emergency fund for what would happen if they lose their jobs.

            Seems silly to plan for death of both parents and job loss at same time?

            Talk to an estate lawyer about the house though, depending on their age your parents might want to consider selling it to the kids so it doesn’t go thru probate/isn’t subject to Medicare whatever.

          2. Emergency funds are usually but lot exclusively for job loss. It is for a drop in income. If her parents are unable to pay the mortgage because they need expensive care, the OP will need a plan to keep a roof over her head. In some ways, their subsidy of her rent is “income,” and that needs a backup plan.

        3. Unless your parents are closer to death’s door than the details you have shared here indicate, I think you are making a lot of odd assumptions that won’t serve your financial future well.

          Stop pretending they are going to keel over tomorrow and leave you solely and immediately responsible for all their current costs (even if that happened, you have agency – you and your siblings could decide to rent out the house, sell it, whatever). Instead, enjoy your current low-expense living situation and make wise money choices for your future self. Look at your current expenses, your current income, your current retirement investment options, and work from there. Don’t miss out on company investment matching, for instance, because you might decide to take on a mortgage beyond your means 8 years from now.

    8. What happens if one or both of your parents have medical issues that require long-term care? That can blow all the inheritance you are counting on.

      1. Seriously. People can go through multiple millions if they need round the clock care for years. It’s a huge mistake to count on the inheritance.

      2. Exactly. OP needs to worry about having enough money to support herself in the future regardless of her parents’ death.

    9. Planning your life around inheriting anything sounds like a recipe for disappointment. I’ve recently had to start assisting parents with their end of life financial planning with an elder law attorney. You might want to look into Medical Assistance Recovery in your state. A lot of people end up using state funded medical plans in retirement. In my state, that means, after both spouses have passed away the state will try to recover any assets possibly to rectify the expenses for certain health care services the state funded programs helped provide.
      If passing on this home is a priority to your parents, they would really need to work this out with an attorney to evaluate the best options. Relying on just in-heritance upon passing away might not work out.

    10. I agree with others that you can’t count on an inheritance. But it sounds like you want enough money in an emergency fund to cover the mortgage payment until you receive this inheritance. I would plan on 6 months to a year. I don’t know how long it takes to finalize an estate, but I would plan it taking longer than expected.

      1. But it sounds like there’s money in the bank, and the executor can get access to that to pay estate expenses, including the mortgage, within a month or two. It doesn’t sound like OP is planning to live a life of leisure on her inheritance – she’s worried about not losing the family house while the estate gets settled if her parents both die.

    11. Do you have reason to think that your parents will both die soon and you’ll be responsible for the mortgage? It sounds like they’re relatively young and still working? And would it even make sense to do that if they did suddenly die? I’d just follow the normal advice to keep 6-12 months of expenses in an emergency fund and then save as much as you can in retirement accounts or investments. You’re young and poor, and the same advice applies to you as to anyone else, you don’t need to make it more complicated.

    12. I agree it’s odd to be thinking about your emergency fund in terms of your parents’ death at your ages (which I assume for you is in your 20’s with your parents in their 50’s or maybe 60’s). But I’ll answer your question in the event they both get hit by a bus tomorrow. I’m in a different state, but it took me a few weeks, maybe a month, after my mother died to get her death certificate, open a probate, and get the necessary authorization to transfer her bank accounts over to an estate account from which I could pay the bills (including her mortgage til we sold her house). No bank is going to foreclose on the house in that month, so you shouldn’t worry about it too much (and I assume your other adult sibling can help w/ mortgage too). But save up a month or two of mortgage plus utilities if you want to avoid late fees and such.

      1. +1 to all of this. Even if it takes several months to get access to your parents’ bank accounts / open an estate account, it is highly, highly unlikely that the bank will foreclose on the house during that time.

        Also, if either of your parents have life insurance, the proceeds of those policies would be paid to the three kids almost immediately after their death (assuming you are named as the beneficiaries). You could use those funds to cover the mortgage until the estate account is up and running. Your parents could also create a revocable trust now and transfer title to the bank accounts (and house, if desired) to the name of the rust, in which case you would have almost immediate access to the trust funds after their deaths if you are named as the successor trustee.

    13. Start by getting a job in tech yourself. You’re not stuck at the state, you just graduated. Get on a path to earn more. And agree with everyone else that your parents house isn’t a plan. Take what you would reasonably be spending in rent and bank that for your own place, and get a better job,

    14. You and your parents should speak with an estate planning lawyer. There are different ways to get immediate access to the bank account, or to set up money to help with immediate expenses, if that is what your parents want.

    15. First, I congratulate you on thinking about an emergency fund when you are fresh out of college, which puts you way ahead of me and probably many on this board. I disagree that you need to find a job in tech if you like your job and it pays decently well; we do not all need to be millionaires. At some point you may prefer living with roommates in a less desirable area or crappier apartment than in your current situation with your parents, but you do you.

      I do think you are thinking about an emergency fund in an overly specific way, in that you are only imagining needing it in one possible emergency. A lot of crap can happen, and I think you would be better off focusing on building up 6 months of living expenses for yourself. Not necessarily 6 months of paying their mortgage or maintaining the life you are living now, but the minimum of what you would need to survive and find some kind of housing in the event of a job loss and inability to live at your parents’ house for whatever reason.

      1. This. The emergency you should be planning for isn’t your parents’ death, it’s that you get sick of living with them and want to move out, or meet someone and want to live with them, or lose your job, or want to take a new job but have to cover a few months without a salary while buying a new car and paying for moving expenses, or you go back to school, or a million other things that might come up in life. I get that housing is expensive and you don’t make a lot now, so no shame for living at home for a while to save money, but are you really going to spend your entire life at the same job and living in your parents’ home? Seems unlikely.

      2. If she wants to stay in the Bay Area and live above the poverty line, she needs a better job.

    16. The general rule of thumb is 3-6 months’ of living expenses. It sounds like you don’t own your house or a car, and your living expenses are about $700. I’d probably keep about $10K in cash on hand — enough to pay for a major health care expense, to pay rent to your parents if you lose your job, or to pay a deposit and first month’s rent and some startup expenses if you need to move out.

      After that, use your current savings opportunity to max out your Roth IRA contributions (assuming you’re within income limits). You’re unlikely to need more than about $10K at one time over the next few years, but if you do, you can withdraw your original contributions from a Roth without penalty. You can’t put it back, but you’re no worse off if you do withdraw from a Roth than if you kept the cash on hand. After the Roth, contribute to any other tax-advantaged retirement vehicles you can, and then save up a nest egg.

      If something were to suddenly happen to both of your parents at once, you, as the executor of your parents’ estate, would make mortgage payments while the estate is pending. As executor, you would have access to their bank accounts relatively quickly, but only to make payments for the estate.

      You probably won’t live with your parents until their deaths, they probably won’t die at the same time, and you may not inherit much at all for them. One day, you’ll need a more substantial emergency fund. But if you’re just out of college, in a HCOL area, and have a job and an opportunity to live with your parents for a few years, take advantage and save as much as you can.

    17. I dont think she is asking about the inheritance per se or counting on it in any way.
      – She makes enough to support herself right now (mostly, except living on her own is expensive in the bay area).
      – Her parents make enough to support themselves and cover their mortgage.

      The issue is if her parents aren’t around or earning, and there is a need to cover *their* mortgage out of her income. This is where there is a mismatch. She needs to save and keep some funds aside for this possible but remote eventuality. One or two months of mortgage payments should suffice for this to get through the probate stuff. If they are permanently disabled and prevented from working then there is enough to tide over until the house can be sold.

      1. “ The issue is if her parents aren’t around or earning, and there is a need to cover *their* mortgage out of her income.”

        You sell the house. That’s what people who inherit property they can’t afford do.

        1. I wouldn’t be so quick to say this: 1) it is both her and her brother’s primary residence. This isn’t like inheriting a third party house they would have to rent out or something. Alternative housing – even renting – in the same area will be extremely expensive, potentially even more so on a monthly basis. 2) There are some major potential tax base benefit considerations to consider under Prop 13 that are unique to CA and 3) if the mortgage is one of the low 3ish% base that is also a huge asset. Neither 2 nor 3 can be replicated if she decides to turn around and buy a house a few years down the line, so it really needs some thoughtful consideration before just selling it.
          Understood that despite all this, if they can’t afford it even with an inheritance that is what it is, but just wanted to point out that especially the CA tax piece makes a difference here and they might try to bend over backwards to make this work more so than other places.

      2. That’s what I understood as well. She’s worried about what would happen if her parents died in an accident. She’s not hoping they die so she can get her hands on the house.

    18. Emergency funds should be 6-9 months of living expenses. If it costs $700/mo for house, utilities, and groceries, multiply that. Add in car payment, BART transport, cell phone, insurance, any other fixed living expenses that recur. Maybe a small amount for dining out. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but it should be different from your standard operating fund.

      1. I think $700 is her rent payment to her parents. The mortgage must be a lot more than that, on a $1.5M house in the Bay Area.

        1. Depends on when they bought it, she said that’s the appraised value. But agree that $700/mo isn’t getting you anything in the Bay Area, maybe a room sublet in the outer exurbs.

    19. Okay, replying here because there’s too much threading to reply to everyone individually:

      1) I have a job. I work for Caltrans. I make $74,000 a year gross. Once I get enough work experience to upgrade from a trainee civil engineer’s license to a professional one, this should increase drastically; in the meantime, this is what I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t like software engineering and I’m not good at it. Not everyone is.

      2) No, there’s no reason to think my parents are going to die soon. I just figured that them dying was the most likely reason I’d need access to lots of money fast, and that an emergency fund that can cover my entire household’s living expenses for a few months should be able to cover any other likely emergencies.

      3) No, I’m not planning on moving out any time soon. I get along well with my family and it’s not worth the added cost to live with people I like less in a worse neighborhood – I cannot live “on my own” on this pay in this area unless I’m willing to commute four hours a day, so there will be housemates involved. If I get into a serious relationship, yes, I will probably move in with my partner. In general, if my life circumstances change, I’m assuming my financial planning is going to need to change with it. For the moment, I’m planning for what I have.

      4) Yes, my parents have talked to a lawyer about the house/money/etc. inheritance situation and believe they have planned adequately. Yes, I believe there’s a trust involved. I do not have the full details, although I know where to find the documents that have them.

      1. I think some of the responders are being unkind to you. I am also a worry wart and I worry about all kinds of scenarios. It doesn’t mean I have to plan for them.

        Maybe a good way to think about your emergency fund is 3 to 6 months of living expenses assuming you would not be able to live with your parents, so that might be $1000-$1500 a month rent for you in a less desirable space like a room in a big house with a long commute. But it wouldn’t be forever.

        I had no emergency fund until I was well on my way to my career, and most people do not be good for you for thinking about it.

      2. If I were you, I would work on having at least 20K in a money market account. That is separate from whatever you are saving in a 401K plan. With 20K, you would have enough that if your parents kicked you out of their home and cut you off financially, you could support yourself for a few months. Of course, it is not likely that will happen. It is also cool that you get along with your family and that pooling your finances make everyone’s lives easier. I think you are mature to be thinking about this! My adult son won’t even look at our will because the thoughts of us dying are overwhelming.

  4. Is Pantene really that awful? My hair stylist went on and on about how the waxes in it prevent hair dye from penetrating etc. I’ve wasted so much $ over the years trying high-end and natural shampoos, but everything makes my scalp itch and flake except for Pantene. Tried a “nicer” drugstore brand (Nexxus) and scalp is on fire.

    2. Do you like the way your hair behaves using Pantene? Is there an actual problem that your hair stylist is trying to help you solve, or did you simply volunteer what product you use and your stylist is just trying to upsell you something or otherwise blurt out their opinion?

      I tried Pantene throughout high school and it was completely wrong for my hair. Made it incredibly dry and brittle, weakened to the extent that I had to chop it from waist-long to an extremely short pixie cut and then grow it out back out to get beyond the breakage. But if your hair likes it and you are happy, ignore your stylist’s bias.

    3. I like Pantene very much. I did learn, last time I had my highlights done, that apparently Pantene products + hair dye can interact and heat up very quickly? Didn’t happen to me (I only use Pantene conditioner, which gets rinsed out), but if you get your hair colored, just let your stylist know that you use Pantene products. If this is a real thing, he or she will probably know about it.

    5. I have also been told off on Pantene use by hairstylists (for the same reason – waxes in the product). Have never dyed my hair. I dropped it after two separate stylists whom I’d never met before both independently guessed I was using Pantene.

    6. No, it’s not bad. I follow Abbey Yung on YouTube and she often discusses the science and ingredients behind hair care. She often recommends Pantene and other drugstore options.

    7. I love Pantene. I don’t dye my hair though so don’t know about that issue. I have used Pantene forever and feel like it works well for my hair (which is long and wavy but I blow dry straight most of the time.)

    8. LOL to your hair stylist’s comment about hair dye not penetrating through it. The peroxide in the hair dye would penetrate Pentagon – if needed. She was just trying to sell you salon-brand haircare products, nothing else. If you are personally happy with Pantene and have no issues [dehydrated hair, dry ends, itchy scalp], I would continue using it. I have sensitive skin [scalp included] and am allergic to SLS, which was irritating and drying my skin. Once I switched to SLS-free products, all skin/scalp problems disappeared. If you are afraid of silicones building up on your hair, you can use a deep-clean shampoo 1x week. I have been using a simple Wella Professionals Elements Renew shampoo for 10y+ as it is gentle and SLS-free and follow up with Redken Acid Bond Conditioner and Leave-In Treatment [this line makes my wavy, dry, processed hair incredibly soft, shiny and moisturized].

      2. Various groups have been trying to penetrate the Pentagon for years – all they needed was peroxide!?!

    9. The hairstylist opposition to Pantene is wild to me. When a stylist 14 years ago told me that Pantene makes people’s hair fall out (this was right on the cusp of smart phones, so neither of us had one yet), that’s when I knew that anything bad they might say about Pantene (or insert product) was, to quote Sheldon Cooper, complete hokum. Pantene was the bestselling shampoo in the WORLD for decades (it looks like it might be #2 right now)…an individual might not like what it does to their individual hair, but it’s not actively harming thousands of people.

      You do you, I’m gonna do me, thanks.

    10. I also tried to switch from Pantene to cleaner brands (eg Aveda) and fancier drugstore brands, and I didn’t like anything as much as I like Pantene. I color my own hair (roots only) every three weeks, and it takes the dye just fine (I have very gray roots that grow out quickly). You’ll have to pry my Pantene out of my cold dead hands.

    11. I’m not even sure Pantene has wax in it. Or if it does, I’m too dumb to recognize it on the ingredient list (which ingredient is the much hated wax?)

    12. I have dyed hair and use Pantene products happily. Don’t look for a solution in need of a problem.

    13. Every stylist gives me the hard sell on salon brands. I tried samples of the fancy brands and they have the same effect as drugstore shampoo, conditioner, and styling products. I think they key is using any type of leave-in oil or styling cream, and methodically blow drying like they do at the salon. I get lots of compliments on my hair so I can’t look that terrible.

      1. This is how I approach it – save on shampoo/conditioner and invest more in finishing products.

    14. I do think that it can build up, which seems like it would be very irritating, but if it’s working for you, carry on. I also have heard that it can react badly with dyes.

      My hair is fine and straight and nothing all that special, but I personally do see a difference in how my hair looks and feels when I use salon products vs drugstore.

    15. it’s not awful. Hair stylists want to sell the lines they have in their shop. If Pantene works for you, use it.

      Check out Nadine Baggott on IG – she talks about Beauty Lies & beauty myths. She covers Pantene I think, and also sulfates and why they’re not actually so bad.

    16. I like salon selectives which I found at dollar tree for $1.25. The other good one is Costco own shampoo and conditioner. Both are excellent for everyone in the family. I dye my hair dark and the color doesn’t fade so badly with either of these.

      Pantene is ok but my children struggled with it lathering up so much it was more difficult for them to rinse it out. Their scalp then got irritated.

      1. I love my Costco/Kirkland brand shampoo. Apparently it’s private label Pureology

    2. I don’t have the exact Am@zon one linked in the post, but I have a similar 3/4 sleeve one that I LOVE.

      1. I do have the amazon one in navy, and I ordered backups. It’s the kind of thing I wear every damned day in warmer (but not hot) weather.

    3. Same! I love this pick and it’s nice to know where the fresh options (to replace my ratty, practically see-through Old Navy one) are!

    4. Gap has a similar option that is not $88. This one must be woven of unicorn hair.

  6. Has anyone corrected what I’ll call for lack of a better term inappropriate smiling or laughing? I’ve never received formal feedback about this but my husband has mentioned it and recently a pro se litigant criticized me for it. I’m not a happy go lucky person. I tend to be serious and unyielding. I’ve learned that that demeanor, especially from a woman, can come off very negatively, and I’ve tried to soften a bit when appropriate. I think I must be striking the wrong balance.

    For example, with the pro se person, we had reached an agreement, my client deposited funds with the court, and the guy was confused about how to get the money. I forwarded him information from the court and told him to call them. He called me and I explained that I’m not his lawyer he needs to call the court. I was trying to be nice, I guess too nice, and I’m sure I said something like, oh gosh I know how frustrating the red tape can be – ha ha – but they really are the ones who can help you, I can’t do anything else on my end. He called me back a few weeks later because the court still hadn’t called him and criticized me for “giggling” – I am so not a giggly person – during the prior call. Now I could dismiss this as one frustrated jerk, but my husband has also told me that sometimes in arguments I smile or “laugh” when we’re talking about something serious and it throws him off. I think it’s probably the same thing, almost nervous laughter except I’m not really nervous it’s more that I’m trying to be conciliatory. Any advice for striking the right balance here and unlearning this bad habit?

    1. I feel like a sociopath for saying this, but sometimes when it calls for it I have to remind myself to put on my “concerned face,” otherwise people don’t take me seriously for whatever reason.

      1. I have to consciously remind myself to relax my face when I realize I’ve gotten locked into being stern or serious in a situation that doesn’t call for it. I consciously let my forehead relax, let the strict line my mouth has tightened into loose up a bit, and let my eyes relax. That last one sounds strange, but my gaze/look can literally get hard, stern, or cold. I can let my eyes and cheeks relax.
        This is a general loosening up, but I’m not smiling. Just a little looser and freer. It also helps me take an actual breath and relax my body a little, so I’m not quite as keyed up by the situation. Relax my shoulders, lean back in my chair, etc.

    2. This is something Kamala Harris does, and it really does make her come across as uncaring and very unserious.

      1. I work with someone who does this and it’s beyond irritating. Everyone comments on it but not to her face. OP, no tips but definitely work on correcting it. It’s probably a nervous reaction to saying things you think will be hard for someone to hear.

    3. This is definitely a thing that happens but it’s worth fighting against because it’s unsettling and can seem sociopathic. I had a friend who would laugh when anyone got hurt (out of nerves/surprise) and it really hurt people’s feelings.

    4. When I got my first job out of law school I was the victim of bank fraud. They cleaned out my bank account. I couldn’t pay bills and didn’t have a dime. The lady from the bank kept giggling like it was hilarious. It made a bad situation worse. My mom helped me understand later that she was probably nervous because I was in a bad situation and she couldn’t help. I think if you have a tendency to do this it’s fine to acknowledge it and just make it clear that you’re not laughing at the person. That would have gone a long way.

    5. I think the takeaway is you actually don’t need to “soften” your demeanor.

      1. Yeah, you’re probably softening at weird moments that come off completely inappropriate.

    6. I had that situation once where my boss’s boss was flat out lying in a meeting with regulators, and I had to leave the room because I thought I was going to burst into laughter. It’s a nervous thing.

  7. I’m thinking of getting a lob haircut (long bob), it has worked for me in the past. What is the current version of it? When I had it, it was slightly graduated from the front to back – higher in the back. Is a blunt lob more current? This is the one I had: https://www.bing.com/images/search%5C?view=detailV2&ccid=cai19lxS&id=AB2223678C7B0AAAA66154C7205B735E56E16924&thid=OIP.cai19lxSifYqxJdrlHR4UgHaLH&q=%25eb%258b%25b4%25eb%25b0%25b0&selectedindex=18&exph=354&expw=236&ck=AF0BF6D8E94D975B289CCB5645427747&vt=2&sim=1&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F236x%2F99%2F36%2F00%2F993600724b344064b3c61e580b40f3f9.jpg&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR.71a8b5f65c5289f62ac4976b94747852%3Frik%3DJGnhVl5zWyDHVA%26pid%3DImgRaw%26r%3D0

    2. Blunt bob is definitely more current. I ask for mine all the same length, but in the back my stylist does more texturizing to remove some of the weight.

    5. I like the lob that Sandra Bullock had in the movie BirdBox (in the flashback scenes).

  8. FYI

    I know the Sephora sale is on, and I already ordered a couple of Sephora brand items because they’re 30% off, but heads up that Nordstrom has 15% off a bunch of beauty right now, probably to match the Sephora sale, and they have 5x points on beauty as well.

  9. And Nordstrom is less likely to randomly cancel your order without reason or notification than Sephora!

  10. Anyone else have a parent recently diagnosed with dementia? I live in nyc, am a single mom, and moved my mother closer to me so I can check on her all the time and make sure she’s eating and taking her meds. It’s a lot and I’m struggling with the extra caregiving. She has aides during the day most of the time so I can work.
    Not sure of next steps/resources/etc. I went to see a few assisted living places last weekend. I cried.

    1. It’s really hard. My advice is get her into assisted living. It looks awful to us but to my MIL, it’s been a wonder. She has friends there and she’s cared for, we don’t need to worry about her at the level you are. It’s expensive but it’s all inclusive – place to love, meals, cable, maintenance, etc. It feels like an awful step but it’s the best thing for her and for you.

      1. The right memory care facility can really enhance quality of life for the person with dementia and their family. When my husband and his siblings finally got their mother into a memory care home, the staff made sure that she was enjoying all sorts of activities and interactions to the fullest of her capacity. Her children were freed from the burden of caregiving and able just to be with her during visits. It was a much less stressful and more dignified way than trying to keep her at home with a rotating cast of aides.

    2. I’m so sorry. Not a parent, but was very involved in my grandmother’s dementia care. +1 that you need to get her into assisted living. It’s the safest thing for her and it’s untenable for you to continue being primary caregiver, even with aides.

    4. In a long-distance caregiving situation and moving her into an expensive assisted living community was the best thing we ever did. The second best thing was continuing to pay an external social worker to check on her once a week, take her out for errands, and make sure her cat is OK. I thought we could make it longer at home with visiting aides but it’s clear we moved her not a minute too soon. I could write a whole post on “convincing” someone with dementia to move but long story short, it has to happen. We can finally breathe again. She’s safe, getting actual meals, and even said it feels like home.

      1. I commented above at 1:32, and I completely agree with this, the hardest part was convincing her to move. In our case, her husband was resistant (he has since died) and she was more accepting of circumstance but this varies widely. I’d rip the bandaid off and move to assisted living as soon as you can. Anything else is delaying the inevitable and it’s really the best thing for both of you. One other tip, you only want to move her once – even with dementia, my MIL is still social and made friends. She lives in southern CA and we live in northern CA and we moved her in there at the time because it’s where her husband would go. Now that he’s gone, it would be a thousand times easier to have her closer to us but that move would be very disruptive to her. She has routines, a social life there and is settled in. I don’t know that we could have done anything differently knowing this eventual outcome, but it’s worth really considering location at the outset.

      2. Ugh, I’m so sorry, OP. Agree with all of this, especially the external aide. In our case the assisted living facility recommended somebody and she was just an angel.

        As for the “convincing,” I spent far too long worrying about “convincing” and “agreeing.” If I had the elder care experience to do over again, I’d have focused a lot more on “informing” and a lot less on “asking” and “convincing.” You know what needs to be done, and your job is to make it happen and inform your mom in the kindest, gentlest way possible. I finally learned that lesson when it was time to move my dad from the “assisted living” floor to the “memory care” floor (which was hard and sad but OMG he thrived there even though he only lasted a month or so before COVID got him) and it was so much smoother and easier for all of us.

        1. I’m the one who posted that about convincing and I agree completely. We wasted way too much time waiting for full agreement and things moved on much better once we got a doctor to write a “prescription” to move to assisted living and moved forward as if it was a done deal. It honestly made things easier for my relative to not have to think about it so much and to have us do all the work. She just didn’t have the capacity to process important decisions anymore. We succeeded even though she has anosognosia (lack of awareness of her condition). We’re finally sleeping at night again.

    6. Yes, been there. The crying is very normal. It’s so very sad to be in a situation that is guaranteed to get worse; it’s a grinding loss over many years. I grieved a lot, in the years up to her death. FWIW, we cared for my mom as long as possible — probably past when it was possible. Her demeanor and agitation improved when we moved her to a memory care center.
      If you’re hearing thoughts — or even hearing her say — that you’re not a good daughter if you’re not caring for her yourself, personally, please don’t let those lodge with you. You’re doing all the things a good daughter does, including making some tough decisions.

    7. So sorry! My dad used to be the smartest guy in the room, with a sly sense of humor & love of wordplay. His decline lasted at least 10 years until he passed away 10 days ago.

      I agree with everyone who’s suggesting assisted living while your mom is able to understand the adjustments. PoA, living will, orders not to do extreme measures, etc are all important now. Get to know her bookkeeping system before she deposits a check in the trash instead of the mailbox. My mom didn’t want to give up cooking; meal kits that are ready in 15 min worked decently. Get as much automated as you can—bill pay, Rx refills, etc.

      On the less businesslike side of things, she’s likely to want to see pictures of herself as she progresses. Sorting through a handful of pix a couple times a week might elicit stories, and you can set aside shots of her for that stage. Athleisure is wonderful for feeling comfy and pulled-together at any life stage. If someone else is taking on the main caregiving, you have more time for this kind of thing with her. A couple info sources I enjoyed are Teepa Snow and Rachel Wonderlin.

      Cry now while you can hug her. I see huge differences in how family members who processed my dad’s decline and grieved as it happened are doing vs those who couldn’t accept it & snapped at him for doing demented stuff, like they were surprised every time. It’s hard to feel the loss while your loved one is right there, but even harder when they’re gone.

      Wishing you all the best.

  11. TLDR: Is it possible for an introvert and extrovert to be close friends?

    I am an introvert that has been focused on my career and kids, which has left me with few close friends. As my kids get more independent, I want to make more friends. I have an acquaintance who I have a lot in common with and whose company I’ve enjoyed the limited times we’ve been together. She seems like an extrovert and very social. I have thought of asking her out for coffee, etc. but have stopped myself due to the personality difference. Should I look elsewhere for friendship?

    1. Why not give it a try and see how it works out? It’s just coffee, not a lifelong commitment!

    2. I’m an introvert and am good friends with more than one extrovert! We make a great combination. They tend to get me to go places and do things I wouldn’t, and I get them to sit and have a conversation they might not otherwise have. Don’t pass up a great opportunity for friendship — try it and find out!

    3. Yes of course. I’m an introvert and my husband and some of my closest friends are extroverts.

    4. As an introvert I think it is easier to make friends with extroverts than with other introverts. Also, not all friends have to be close friends. Don’t put that pressure on this friendship; just let it develop naturally into whatever it is meant to be. Take it one step at a time; start by asking her to do something together.

    5. One of my very best friends is an extrovert and I am an introvert. It is a running joke between us. She respects when I am peopled out and I push my boundaries to make sure her needs are met. But she knows I will almost never come to her big loud parties, but I will be there when she needs a coffee and to get some support.

    7. For sure. My bff is an extrovert and I am an introvert. Ironically, we’ve really bonded over how hard it is to have small kids: me because I want to be left alone, her because she wants some adult interaction. Anyway, I say go for it! Even if you don’t become best friends, the older I get the more I appreciate friends who have a different perspective than me.

    8. Yes of course! I’m an extrovert and most of my friends identify as introverts. Of course, I’m the one who has to pursue getting together! But I don’t care. It works just fine.

    9. When I am with my introvert friends, I feel a sense of calm around me that I rarely feel. I love being with lots of people, going out and having fun. I also like chilling on the couch with my quiet friends.

    10. I don’t see why this would be an issue? You can still enjoy people’s company and be an introvert – just perhaps not be up for full day plans.

  12. I want to step slightly outside my comfort zone to wear nice lingerie, with a sheer coverup, when my guy comes over. I’m in my mid 50s, have collected the stuff for years, but never worn it in front of anyone.

    I don’t want to spend $$ on the dress, so I’m shopping at lower price points than I’m accustomed to. I’d love comments on these & maybe suggestions of others.

    https://www.na-kd.com/en/products/crinkle-viscose-cover-dress-black-1686-000162-0002 too sporty?

    I wish this was available without the sparkles! https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0CD5RW39L/ref=ox_sc_act_image_5?smid=A9JZJA4VZPH83&psc=1

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