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Weekend Open Thread

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blue jeans

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I keep hearing amazing things about these AYR jeans — does anyone have them? In general, where are your favorite jeans from right now?

I've seen readers sing the praises of jeans from Veronica Beard and Quince also — and I still like Wit & Wisdom and Kut from the Kloth.

As for the AYR jeans: it's great to see that they come in 7 colors, three inseams, and sizes 24-34. It's also nice to see that it's made in Los Angeles.

The jeans are $275 at AYR; you can also find them at Shopbop.

Sales of note for 5/15:

  • Nordstrom – 3800+ items in “new markdowns” — I kind of wonder if they've started marking down stuff for their Half-Yearly sale that usually starts the week before Memorial Day. Good deals on Veronica Beard, Vince, Reiss (esp. coats), as well as Wit & Wisdom and NYDJ
  • Alexis Bittar – Vault sale! 100s of re-issued archival styles up to 70% off, plus 25% off all full-price styles too
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
  • Boden – Up to 50% off with new styles added
  • J.Crew – 40% off your purchase and 50% off dresses
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 20% off orders over $125
  • Lands' End – Up to 60% off sitewide + extra 60% off sale and clearance
  • Loft – 50% off your purchase, and 5/15 only: take 60% off the LOFT Versa collection
  • Mango – Weekend exclusive, 30% off everything, and free shipping with $260+
  • M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Supergoop – 20% off sitewide + free Glow Stick (also, free shipping with $50+)
  • Talbots – Extra 40% +15% off all markdowns, plus Summer Fridays One Day Sale (5/15), $19.50 pocket tees and $29.50 relaxed chino shorts.
  • Theory – 25% off sitewide
  • TOCCIN – 30% off select items with code! (You can't stack codes, but on full price items try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!)
  • Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!

182 Comments

  1. Unfortunately for my wallet, I *love* AYR jeans. They’re very flattering on my body. they run long—I’m 5’6” with longish legs and I have bought their short length per their sizing instructions which I think are very accurate.

    1. Thanks for sharing. What is your body shape? I am curvy, a little taller with you with long legs and have no jeans right now. Always searching for black jeans – any/all cuts.

      2. Forgot to respond over the weekend—I’d say I’m a slight pear shape with a short torso but I carry my weight in my stomach. I think the Ayr jeans suck in my tummy and hit at a very flattering spot for me. I have the Pop and the Legend cuts and both are flattering but in different ways.

      1. I LOVE Secret Sauce AYR jeans! I love all from AYR (unfortunately for my wallet) but these have been the best. I travel for work very frequently and these in the Underground Hustle wash can dress up or down — with a tee or sweater or blazer and boots or trainers — enough stretch that I can wear on transcon or overnight transatlantic flight — and per the above, they definitely stretch out a bit with wear, but do not lose their shape. Good waist definition, good choice of lengths, nice and clean cut through the hips, and trim through the thighs and a little wider than straight but not too much. These really are my holy Grail of jeans.

    3. I used to be a petite pear with saddle bags and now I have added the meno-belly. I am amazed at how well Kut from the Cloth fit my body type.

  2. Those look nice, but I don’t think I’m ever going to be a $275 jeans sort of person.

    Has anyone been to Six Flags Over Georgia recently? My 10 year old loves coasters and is now big enough for all the rides, so we wanted to take her. It was a pretty big part of my kid/teen years, but it’s been over 2 decades since I’ve been now. We’ve been to Universal, Disney, and Dollywood in recent-ish years. As best I remember, 6 Flags will be a lot less “atmosphere” and a lot more big noisy rides (which is fine), and have more exciting coasters. Any recent experiences to share or things I should know?

    1. Same. They look great, but I can’t justify spending that much on jeans. Around $100 is my max. Maybe I’d feel differently if I wore them every day.

    2. I’m chaperoning a trip at Carowinds and can report lots of teens in longer jean shorts. And screaming kids in rides. I think the “after dark” events are cool for older teens but it’s early in the season for that. Girls are taking a lot of selfies. My group is high school orchestra kids but schools closed today so it’s kids of all ages. It’s a LOT of walking. You get your steps in.

    3. My first thought was how much I wasted on a couple of pairs of Veronica Beard jeans. and that I’lll never do that again. I gained weight and then lost the weight, but they never seemed to fit the same way again because the weight redistributed from my hips to my belly, or perhaps it’s just that my preference went to a higher rise. All I know is that they weren’t comfortable anymore, and I found myself consistently pushing them to the bottom of the drawer. The other day, I realized the only reason I was still holding on to them was that I knew I had spent so much. Finally, just gave to the charity pile. Never again.

      1. That is what I hate about buying expensive clothes. It’s a lot of money and quality declines over time. I hate to part with better items that cost so much. I could part with my cheaper things in a heartbeat.

      2. I have to say that I LOVE Veronica Beard jeans. They fit like they were made for me. But they do go on sale a lot – I’ve found mine for probably $120-180 online at Nordstrom Rack, Bloomingdales, etc. (Obviously still expensive, but not $300!)

  3. I’m in Big Law and it has been most of my working life. Branch office in a MCOL city. I eat what I kill and have enough repeat work to get my work done as I see fit. I am at my desk most days 10-3 but WFH beyond that to get work done. Am I right to suspecting that now that I’ve settled into what works for me (spouse, dog, kids, one of whom has special needs), any most likely comes at a high cost of losing this flexibility and autonomy? I am a .5 – .75 FTE and get paid accordingly, which varies by year. Any other job likely wants a real full time workload, so more money will just be worked out of me. Yes? No? I think until the kid with higher needs has a clear adult path, I really need to stick with what is working and not rock the boat at work.

    1. Yeah; sounds like you have a situation that works well for you. And since you are good at business development, you can at any point take on more matters and ramp up your hours. I would do that rather than making any changes.

    3. How many hours are you actually working a day/week? A new job would likely be full-time and it may not have as much flexibility around hours. But depending on the nature of the job, it may be a true 40 hours a week if it’s not in a billable hours environment

      Only you know if that trade off is worth it

    4. I disagree with the commenters above; I think you could find another job with an alternative arrangement if you’re senior enough, especially if you’re open to firms that are not big law. There are many high end boutiques in Austin where I live that hire people in your position (ex-big law looking for their next position, not interested in full time for whatever reason). But as noted above, you have not said why you’re looking to move. Can you share that?

  4. I had heard that it was either – and I can’t remember which – against the law or just bad form nowadays – to ask for college graduation dates on job applications as a quiet way of discriminating by age. Can someone clarify? What are HRs around the country doing? Would an employer making grad dates a required field on a job application make you question working there? If called for an interview, I feel like I would be on the lookout for other areas where they’re not up to snuff – but I’m desperate for a job and still put the application in. I’ve applied for dozens of jobs and I think this is the first I’ve seen with mandatory grad dates – mine are not on my resume.

    2. It’s not against federal law to ask; it is against Oregon state law to ask until a conditional offer is made. I don’t know if other states have passed similar laws – Oregon’s is pretty new, and I think they were the trailblazer.

      That said, it’s not the best idea to ask, since it just adds to the perception that the employer is discriminating on the basis of age. Better practice would be to follow the lead of Oregon. Arguably, employers do need the info once an offer is made, to make the background check run more smoothly and efficiently.

    3. It’s not illegal to ask under federal law but it is illegal to discriminate based on age. IME, I see this somewhat frequently, and I would not rule out a company that asks because I would not assume they are doing it to discriminate or otherwise failing to comply with the law. But the jobs and roles I apply for and my field in generally typically value more experience, not less, and experience and distance from graduation often correlate.

    4. I feel like anybody asking is really behind the times. I specifically leave graduation date off my resume to avoid age discrimination (and that is advised basically everywhere). Unless I were applying for a technical role where they actually plan to confirm the dates, it feels really ick to me.

    5. I just wrapped up a huge job search and I would have said at least 50% are mandatory grad date fields. It’s definitely not illegal to ask (just illegal if you decide to use that info for the illegal purpose of discriminating against over-40s). I wouldn’t worry about it as a red flag, because it is so common, even if it’s maybe not the greatest. Worse case – you apply & they do secretly use it against you… you’re not worse off than not applying.

  6. My social media feeds have been bombarding me with ads for home fragrance products (chiefly Azuna and Scentiment). Reviews for both seem poor to mixed-at-best, however. Are there similar products that are better-liked/less sketchy? Recommendations for best smelling house products?

    1. The candle aisle at HomeGoods. $12. Many of the candles are HG’s own in-house brands (and just adequate), but some are real brands and very good. Go have a sniffy Saturday! :)

      1. Hi there! I went to perfume school. The issue with cheaper candles in random brands is that many of these companies scent the wick and not the wax. So what you smell in the store, is most likely the wick, which has been dipped into aromachemicals/fragrance oils. Known brands from very high end down through Yankee Candle don’t do this.

    3. I like the Stonewall Kitchen candles a lot. I don’t like their diffusers and instead buy Voluspa on sale.

    4. If you have have pets or visitors with migraine, asthma, sensitivities or neurodivergence please reconsider. I can’t visit my mother because she uses home fragrances. Says she forgets it causes migraine attacks.

      1. I don’t have a health concern like mentioned above, but I plainly dislike overly strong fragrances everywhere. Every second of our lives shouldn’t be perfumed. If you wear scents, they should definitely not linger after you have been in a room or hallway. Extra stink eye for the horrific chemical stuff in public toilets that is supposed to make up for inadequate ventilation.

        1. One conspiracy theory I believe in is that they’ve made a lot of fragrances stronger since the pandemic because of all the people whose sense of smell was weakened who were complaining about weak scents. My sense of smell is both fine and frequently overwhelmed!

  7. I am the OP from the other day who is horse shopping. Wellllll, I found one today! 6 yr old, Belgian WB, bay, has done a few shows, great mover, good jumper, great brain.

    Xrays look good, so it’s coming to my barn for the week and we’ll get it vetted and then, hopefully, I will have a new horse!

    Fingers crossed!

    2. I know NOTHING about this world, so I’m intrigued by the idea of a horse with a “great brain”!

      What is the horse doing that requires a good brain, or that shows up a poor one?

      1. Great question! For me, great brain means that it shows self preservation skills, Is unaffected by things like its rider putting it in a bad spot to a jump, doesn’t spook a lot or at all, is a steady ride – not temperamental, and is kind and forgiving of rider errors.

        1. Is there a reason you keep saying “it?” That’s uncommon in my horse circles.

          1. What pronoun do you use for a horse of unknown gender? “They” seems awfully human.

          3. She is not talking about the horse she is buying. She is describing a horse with a good brain in the abstract.

          4. Her OP used “it” as well for the specific horse she’s buying. Very unusual to me because everyone has strong opinions about mares vs. geldings (and the occasional stallion).

          5. I thought OP was just not telling us in the original post (maybe a layer of anonymity).

          6. It was a little bit for additional anonymity, a little because in one part I was talking generally, and also because that’s how the people I ride with talk. We generally use the horses names, which I wasn’t going to use here, but sometimes say it’s out in the field. I don’t have a better explanation than that.

            Funny enough, I do not have strong feelings about mares vs geldings. I tried some of each.

        2. My equestrian friend just told me a story of where her horse really wanted to spook (something scary happened next to the corral) and he signaled for her to get off, which she did, and THEN he did the whole rearing/spooking thing.

          That’s a horse with a good brain.

          1. Callie Coles has ponies with good brains. I started following her when she had less than 10k followers on Instagram and now it’s over a million in like 5 years.

      2. A horse with a good brain wants to keep you both safe. It can be described with words like sensible, steady, reasonable, reliable, predictable, etc. Those are nice words when your hobby involves climbing onto the back of a 1,000 pound prey animal and asking it to go jump some painted sticks instead of killing you.

        OP, good luck! Fingers crossed for you!

    8. Congratulations! I hope the vet check goes well, and your new partner stays sound and healthy!

    2. I love Beauty Pie. I think they have a set you can buy inexpensively that includes a free trial membership.

      Are you more interested in fragrance or skincare or both? Because I have opinions & will check back.

      1. I just looked at it. It’s the “Best Sellers Starter Kit” if you look for it on their website. I’m in the US. It may be different in the UK. Originally this was priced higher & included a trial membership but now it’s $82 without membership and $49 for members. The price difference will fund a “starter” membership.

        I’m a full member and it has been worth it to me.

        By the way, I ordered the starter kit too, even though I’m not just starting. It ends up being a pretty good deal and has travel sizes of products I already use.

        1. It’s Saturday and I’m checking back to list the products I think are fantastic and why I keep my membership.

          Niacinimide super drops

          Happy Face moisturizer

          Super healthy skin body cream

          Japanfusion cleanser

          The shadow sticks

          Arch-ology brow gel

          Wrap star mascara

          Future lipstick luxe shine formula

          Lip oils

          Hope this helps!!

    3. I’ve had a membership for 3 or 4 years. I use skincare, body care, makeup, and the collagen. Not into the candles or other supplements.

      1. The candles are actually a great deal, but I haven’t been burning candles lately. I like their green holiday one at xmas.

  9. Looking for gift ideas for a special teacher. She has been at the school and in various roles for all my kids over 10 years. My youngest is graduating this year and looking for thoughtful gift and recognition of her over the years. Only know her in school context so nothing to go on re:interests outside school. Any ideas?

    1. Well, you know the answer. Having all of your kids write her an actually handwritten card, listing some of the things she has done for them that they remember fondly is by far the best gift. Then you give her a gift card to someplace useful and practical.

      2. My daughter is a teacher. She loves the cards and gift cards, as well as when people bring her a tasty treat during or at the end of the school day.

        She does not need any more mugs or “teacher” branded decor items!

        Most excitedly received gift cards were to Target & Peets. (California here)

  10. Hi Team – I need a c-suite rockstar suit that is, preferably, less than $1k. But, I’m allergic to wool. Like crazy allergic to wool. So, any type of wool suit (even with amazing lining) does not work for me. Any non-wool suites you can recommend? I really like the MM Lafluer Origami Tech line, but it’s not quite elevated enough for what I need. FWIW, I’m 5′ 6″ and somewhere in the 130 – 135 lbs range with a short torso. Thanks for your suggestions! I appreciate you.

    1. In terms of fabric, this is where I would go to the Nordstrom web site and search the women’s suiting category, filtering by “material” for the preferred fabric content. Reiss, Frame, and Theory (Admiral Crepe) are possibilities, but I don’t have your body type so don’t have a particular style to recommend.

    2. I would have said Lafayette 148, but their prices have skyrocketed. Even the non-wool crepe suit jackets are $1500 now (yikes!). Maybe you can find something of theirs on sale.

    5. How about cinq a sept in the crepe fabric? I love love the Khloe blazer…i buy them in colors on poshmark. With a short torso it may not be your friend, but I just saw that they make them in a shorter style now too.

  11. While we’re talking about jeans, are white jeans frumpy? I’ve seen comments to that effect elsewhere. Can I not wear white jeans in an up to date cut?

    2. It’s more current to wear very faded blue jeans in a modern cut. White jeans seem a bit suburban mom at this point.

      1. I loathe comments like this. Because it makes me feel that the commenter is full of it and has probably unironically used the term “style bible” to refer to a fashion magazine at some point.

      2. I agree with this — I see it on bloggers, but not the actually cool bloggers, and also not in the wild on stylish people.

      3. This attitude is why our stores are full of cheap poly clothing and people feel like spending $250+ on a pair of quality (mostly cotton, made in the USA) jeans is a waste of money.

        OP – White jeans are not frumpy (any more than high heels are out of date) unless by frumpy you mean grown-up. If you want proof, go to Who What Wear or Vogue and look at what they are recommending for Spring 2026.

    3. I wear them as business casual work pants in summer but don’t tend to choose them for “play” any more. More likely to do breezy linen pants than white jeans.

      I did add ivory jeans to my winter rotation this year, though.

      1. A commenter also opined her recently that breezy white linen pants are also frumpy. We cannot win.

        1. We can ignore them. Wear what works for your shape and lifestyle.

          Don’t compete with morons.

  12. Is anyone else from outside the US here totally pissed off at the US president?
    I’m in a far corner of Australia and he’s made my life so much more difficult and expensive. Home help have said travel is too far with fuel prices so finding staff is difficult and the quotes for my new small retirement house have gone up $85,000 in just a few months.

    2. Lots of us here in the US can’t stand him either, and I’m so sorry his massive ego is now affecting you.

      I was a revolutionary war buff as a kid, and even I was like “please, sir, take the reins again” when King Charles visited.

    3. As an Australian-loving American, you have my sincere apologies. I also worry that this added expense might affect my Australian-heavy diet of streaming shows (Territory, Kath & Kim, The Dry movies, Fisk, more Fisk, Janet King, Pine Gap, Kath & Kim AGAIN).

      I’m beginning to doubt the wisdom of Monty Python and have started to wonder if strange women lying in ponds distributing swords *is* a basis for a system of government.

      1. Watching the American Democrats definitely brings to mind the Judean People’s Front vs the People’s Front of Judea (to quote a different MP).

      2. Somehow you haven’t mentioned the best Australian series – Mr. Inbetween. Are you lucky enough to be able to watch this for the first time?

        We hear you OP. He is the world’s nightmare and we are disgusted.

        1. Oh, I just looked that up and that looks right up my alley. I’ll start that after I finish this FLDS documentary I just found.

    4. Gosh , if it’s that hard for a rich person on the other side of the world, imagine what it’s like here.

  13. I work for a German company in the US. I just interviewed for a new internal position that was just posted. The hiring manager, a German on expat assignment , told me he only wants Germans for leadership positions. They think more logically and are easier for him to communicate with. Otherwise I am a perfect fit for the position, at least IMO. Is this discrimination? HR was not in the interview.

    1. Discrimination laws are different overseas. A friend in her 40s was told she was too old for a management position by an EU company. They wanted someone younger who would stay with the company for a “very long time.” It’s ridiculous.

      2. But OP is in the US. A German national working for the US branch of a German company, hiring for a US based role, needs to follow US employment law.

        And yes, the interviewer’s comment sure sounds like they intend to discriminate based on national origin, which is illegal. Whether or not you can do anything about it depends a lot on your current role and your company.

    2. As a German working for a European company in the United States, I think this manager is terrible.

      If this was about location, I would understand it.
      It is very common in my company that internal roles, even if they are in global functions, are posted with specific location requirements.

      But if this manager is working on assignment and wants to hire a German for a job in the US because of cultural stereotypes, they may need some intercultural awareness training.

      I am not an employment lawyer or HR specialist, but a statement like this manager made would raise some eyebrows and probably violate our company anti-discrimination and inclusion training.

      1. OP here. Its for a finance role. 100% in the US. No travel or international aspect to the position.

    3. I have a friend who works for a German company in the US and he reported the same thing. He earned a fantastic promotion to a pretty high level, but not until they did a LOT of kicking the tires on him to see—essentially—if he felt German enough to play well with the leadership.

    4. I don’t know if it’s legally discriminatory, but yes, it’s definitely discriminatory.

    5. Last I checked, Title VII, which prohibits national origin discrimination, among other protected categories, is still the law. Many states have similar laws.

    6. U.S. employment laws apply, not German employment laws. Check this out with an employment lawyer. Good luck!

    7. Yes—national origin is protected. You can file civil rights complaint, and don’t forget your state office too

  14. Curious if anyone else’s towns/cities are cracking down on “e-bikes” (I put it in quotes because in my area, they’re actually illegal motorcycles and dirt bikes). The tide seems to be turning with significant public support for banning them and one set of parents was just criminally prosecuted for their child’s injuries while illegally riding one. What are you seeing?

    1. I see increasing numbers of e bikes around, but not any that a reasonable person would complain about. They look like normal bike commuters or college students. There has been some state legislation in response to some high profile accidents involving kids, but I’ve honestly never seen a kid on one. I do hope that they continue to be an option for kids, or at least teenagers. Cars are so expensive, but having an independent method of transport is so good for a teen.

    2. Nothing yet in my area. Anything that gets people, especially teens, out of giant pickup trucks is A-ok in my book.

      1. We had a terrible accident involving a kid with a compound fracture from an e-bike accident in a local park (kid too young to drive flying around in the grass, dodging Little League players). And they are becoming increasingly common. I do not have a problem with them when driven by people with licenses, helmets and liability insurance, but we are seeing them driven by kids in terrifyingly unsafe ways.

        A big part of the problem is that parents either do not know or ignore the distinction between a Class 1 e-bike (pedal assist; max speed 20 MPH – although I would argue that is still much too fast for a kid) and Class 2 and 3.

        1. This. So much this. They are the donor-cycle equivalent for middle schoolers and kids too young to drive.

      2. E-bikes are being driven by kids with no licenses. An unlicensed driver of something that can kill people should not be a-okay in your book.

          1. Not like e-bikes can.

            In my city, bicycle riders bike like a car could kill them. Not the e-bikes. They are beyond reckless.

    3. People are attempting to ban them in my area, but age restrictions seem more likely. I’m no fan of my local Bike Evangelists but I’ve never the older guys using them in a dangerous way – it’s the teen-ish ones that are popping wheelies and tearing through neighborhoods.

    4. In my tiny town, you now have to wear a helmet and have a driver’s license to use an e-bike. Most people using them in town were tweens/young teens who weren’t old enough to drive yet. Since the new ordinance, I see none of them.
      My parents live in a mountain town in Colorado and tons of adults ride them everywhere, including to road bike.

      1. The really expensive aero road e-bikes are cyclist Viagra. Lets the old guys keep up.

    5. I’m in a Chicago suburb, and it’s being handled at the city and village levels here, while the county forest preserves handle the county park trails. My village bans them now on most streets, and there are signs up in village parks where they aren’t allowed. In practice, though, it seems pretty meaningless. So many still ride them on main busy streets and often with no helmet, and avoiding any traffic rules. I don’t know what kind of caring parent thinks they are a good idea. I’ve seen so, so many near misses where they’ve gone through yellow or red lights at high speed.

    6. I just wish they would regulate the renal e-bikes and scooters. 95% of the horrible drivers are see are on a rental one and there are so many that are just left in the middle of the sidewalk. It’s really annoying to have to move it out of the way to get by with a stroller.

      1. The biggest issue and danger are those delivery bikes that are heavy fast and quiet and with hurried delivery people trying to get places. Loathe them!

    7. Our building banned them indoors and most residential buildings don’t allow them in NYC. Baby steps but it’s something.

    8. A mother in Orange County CA was just charged with manslaughter after her 14 year old on an e-motorcycle killed an 80 year old man. I think the distinctions in these bikes are going to become increasingly important.

      1. She also had previously been warned by the cops that her son was likely to kill someone with his e bike and kept letting him use it. The facts there are unusually bad.

        1. I’m surprised I don’t see this more where I live. The younger teens on them are what my timid teen driver fears most because they don’t have headlights and drive recklessly.

    9. I think you glossed over the distinctions in the California case involving the 14 yo and the 81 year old teacher. That was an e-motorcycle with speeds up to 59 MPH and 0-30 in 2.3 seconds. And yes, mom was on camera being warned before. That mom is rightfully being charged IMO. That “bike” is not the same as the bicycles that have a small motor to help going up hills, which I think several commenters are referring to, any more than a highway-going motorcycle is a “bike” the way a bicycle is a bike.

      1. It sounds like we need more names for these! I’m only really familiar with the bicycles with motor assist.

        I think anything more than that my brain would categorize as some type of moped. Electric cars aren’t “not cars” just because they don’t rely on gasoline!

    11. I see shift workers commuting on ebikes at 40mph on our busy non-motorized rail-to-trail without a care in the world for the dog leash that they ran over, the pedestrians that had to jump off the path to avoid being hit, the elderly walkers they scared half-to-death, or the cyclist they clipped as they whizzed by.

  15. What is the deal with expectant fathers now insisting their mothers be in the delivery room as “their” support person? I wouldn’t want my MIL at my OBGYN appointments. Why would I be comfortable having her see me pushing a whole human being out of my private parts?

    (PS this is now about me, it’s about a male acquaintance, and all of his guy friends seem to be in agreement that it’s his “right” to have his mother there!)

      1. haaaaaaaailllll no

        when I gave birth we had to fight for my mom and husband to be in the room, we’re not adding a third person to the party. she can wait outside and see the baby after it’s been cleaned up like everyone else.

        i’m not even comfortable with my HUSBAND having seen me push a baby out of my vagina. i told him to stay north of the border but noooooo

    2. I have literally never heard of this happening (where the husband “insists” vs the DIL inviting the MIL) and I spent way too much time on complain-y motherhood R3ddit during the newborn sleep deprivation months. Trust me, those forums would complain about anything so if it wasn’t there, it’s likely not a thing affecting large numbers.

      1. His argument is “It’s her first grandchild, she has the riiiight to be there!” and he feels the experience will be difficult for HIM. I don’t agree with him, obviously.

        1. I don’t doubt you, just saying that is a one-off and not some widespread “what’s the deal with ___” phenomenon. And luckily so!

        3. He and mother in law need to stay out of the delivery room if he feels the experience will be difficult for HIM. Either he is in our out; mother in law is out no matter what. It’s the mom-to-be’s choice. And no grandparent has any “right” to observe the birth of their first grandchild, not even in royalty these days. Gross!

        4. OMG just no. If he can’t handle it he can stay in the waiting room like the dads did in the olden days.

    3. I cannot imagine much worse. Maybe the public births queens had to do to prove the baby was actually her baby?

    7. If my husband had suggested having his mom in the room, I would laughed in his face. Total non-starter, she was the least helpful person in any medical setting.

      1. The least helpful person would be my own mother. My MIL is a very calm nurse who is my first call w anything medical.

        1. A wonderful family friend was in the room with his daughter in law when she gave birth because it was unexpected and no one else could be there. That said, I wouldn’t call it a trend.

          1. It’s such a personal choice. My husband really wanted to be there for the birth of both kids, so he was there and it was fine. But he’s not the most helpful/supportive person in health care situations, and I’m the sort that would generally rather be on my own with the medical professionals. If the custom had been that dads waited in the waiting room, I would have been fine.

            Post-birth, he was super helpful and supportive because I couldn’t do a d*mn thing other than nurse the baby. I had c-sections and not allowed out of bed for a day or so.

    8. Apparently my husband’s whole family (!) hung out in his sister’s delivery room (!!) eating pizza (!!!) while she was in labor (!!!!). He was STUNNED when I made it clear that would not be happening for our kids/my deliveries.

      1. My sister’s ex ate chicken wings over her while she was in labor, which made her vomit. He’s an ex now for a reason. I can’t imagine that x a whole family!

    9. I am firmly of the belief that child birth that is the one day in a woman’s life where (as long as she is not actively endangering her infant), it is in fact all about her. She wants her husband, MIL, the Notre Dame marching band in the room – cool. She wants nobody except her doctor and the L&D nurses in the room – her decision.

      1. I agree generally but I admit to feeling saddened and troubled by stories I’ve heard of women not wanting their husbands in the delivery room because they think their husbands will be annoying or ruin “the vibe.” I can’t imagine not letting the father of my child be there for the birth just because his dumb jokes don’t match the serenity I’m seeking.

        1. Being in the delivery room is a PRIVILEGE. If those men can’t behave then it’s their own fault.

          1. It depends what we mean by not behaving.

            I don’t think any woman excludes a man she’s still in love with from the delivery room. A desire to do so? Just get divorced already.

          2. Yeah “getting to marry me” and “getting to have a child with me” seem like way bigger privileges(!).

          3. Agree, if a woman can’t stand being around her husband at that time, just get divorced.

          4. If a woman likes being around her husband except during delivery, that seems reasonable enough! Some people are really not themselves and not normal in medical settings. But yes if she just can’t stand him then maybe she has things to rethink.

          5. It really doesn’t seem reasonable, though. Like I’m trying to come up with a scenario where not wanting your husband in the room for delivery is not a sign your marriage is in trouble, and I can’t. Maybe if he’s a vomiter at the sight of blood? But then just have him step out for that part.

          6. My husband is a fainter and is terrible with medical decision-making and advocacy. I did not want him in the room, but it felt heartless to exclude him so I hired a doula to insulate me from him and do the things a normal husband would do, like noticing when they tried to give me narcotics I had specifically declined. The fact that he is terrible in medical situations doesn’t mean we have a bad marriage.

  16. Any experience with the Adornia brand of fashion jewelry? There are some cute pieces on sale in the <$25 range. I know some readers here think anything less than solid gold is a waste of money but not everyone can afford that. That said, I don't want to spend even $25 on pieces that can't handle regular wear.

    1. The founder lived across the hall from me in college, lol! I think the pieces look like gorjana quality IRL.

    2. nice! I won’t buy it this time, but after a rec here two years ago, I ordered it. It actually helped me to find some brands that worked for me (worked with my skin, didn’t have a weird smell, didn’t have a weird reaction at the end of the day), and now I am so much better at wearing sunscreen consistently.

  18. Has anyone obtained a new phone number just to avoid the incessant spam texts and calls? I get 5-10 texts and calls each that are political, business, or offers to buy my home. I’ve had this number for 15 years or so and I am now thinking about just getting a new number. Thoughts?

    2. I once got a new phone number just because I couldn’t deal with Verizon tech support at the time, and I got so many threatening wrong number calls on the new number than I had to switch. (I have no idea who the person who previously had that number was, but there are a lot of people who are very angry at them!) So the grass is not always greener.

      I doubt the national do not call list does much for this, since essentially all of the spam texts and calls I get are illegal on FCC criteria. I’m not sure how much enforcement FCC is doing about now. It may be better to forward the spam to your phone carrier or basically see what your phone carrier wants you to do about spam.

    3. you’ll still get them, they’ll just be for the prior person that had your new-to-you number.

      1. Eh i’ll go through waves where different numbers with the same area code will try me a couple of times a day. I block each as they occur… but that doesn’t stop the immediate problem.

      2. Most of the spam calls I get are spoofing legitimate numbers in my contacts list, If I block them, I’m blocking the people I want/need to hear from.

        1. I wonder if changing numbers and resetting the phone might actually help with this one (if your contact list was compromised by a phone app or some other security breach).

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