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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 255 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    The London School of Economics, anyone? I was admitted for a degree and I’m considering going. I’m interested in YOUR personal experiences and would rather keep my current situation anon.

    • Another Sarah

      Loved it. I went for a study-abroad summer, so not a full degree, but it was awesome. I lived in on-campus housing (which really isn’t on-campus, but whatever) in the building on High Holborn, which is an AWESOME location. It’s the closest building to the school out of all the ones that I remember – it took about a 10-minute walk in the morning. And – literally – behind the building is Covent Garden and the West End. Glorious!

      The professors were excellent, obviously. I took classes in economics, so I can’t speak to the other faculties. FWIW, I was getting a BA in econ from my home uni, so I didn’t take as much math as people who may have received a BS or a BBS, so sometimes I was pretty confused, as the econ there was more math-based instead of concept-based. From what I understand, the LSE degree is very internationally portable, so you shouldn’t have any problem getting it recognized if you are not from the UK/planning on staying in the UK. Good luck!!

      • Anonymous

        Thanks! I was admitted for a Masters degree and I’m thinking the experience + education + int’l prestige (not sure if I want to be in the UK or not after my masters) might push me over the edge.

        • L from Oz

          A friend is just finishing an LSE PhD, and was very happy with the institution, but had some problems with their supervisor. I’d imagination that’s less of an issue with a Masters, and my friend had no complaints about the coursework (they did most of the Masters programme en route).

          And the location is fantastic.

      • Anon

        I did the same thing as Another Sarah – went for a summer and took a few classes. Overall, I loved the experience (the High Holborne dorm is awesome), but I did not love the classes. The classes were very large and not taught by professors (I took econometrics and a macro class of some sort, as I recall). For what it’s worth, I went to a small school for undergrad with small classes and no TAs, so it may have just been different than what I was used to. I do not know what your degree would be in, but I think LSE is very prestigious for econ or finance-related degrees (anywhere you would want to end up). Agree with L from Oz – the location can’t be beat.

        • Another Sarah

          Hm, maybe my econ classes were less general econ – I leaned more towards international econ/development – but I had all professors. I had a TA, but it was specifically for a special small break-away class. Meh? :-)

    • Anonymous

      I’ve applied to an Ivy-League school and am anxiously waiting for news.

      Congratulations!

    • LInLondon

      I have a lot of friends who went to LSE (MAs and PhDs) and they have overwhelmingly had really positive experiences and it’s a great school. On a side note, if you’re looking to do something region-specific, do some research into the LSE’s depth. I weighed LSE vs SOAS for postgrad and am really really glad I went with SOAS. My housemate was doing development at the LSE and she got an excellent, comprehensive Master’s, but if you’re looking for something more targeted to a region, with a more ancillary interest in political science or econ, etc, another place might be better. I think LSE has much better resources for topical areas than regional ones. (Which is absolutely great if that’s what you’re looking for, of course!)

      Also, just my 2p, but I’d recommend against student housing for postgrad. I had a few friends living in dorms and it was oddly restrictive and too reminiscent of being an undergrad.

      • N

        I’m not familiar with LSE, but when I was doing parts of my postgrad at an English uni, they also had student housing available for the older/postgrad students. If you’re coming from abroad, and don’t know anyone, it might be easier getting to know people that way.

        But I agree that it had a very restrictive feeling. (For us: Warning signs about everything, inspections once a term.. and so on.)

    • International Development Professional

      The LSE master’s program in international relations is noted for accepting any foreigners with half-decent qualifications who are willing to pay to study there. If that’s the program you’re considering, you may be extremely well qualified, but LSE is not prestigious. If you’re well qualified, you can do better; if not, consider saving your money and building your resume until you can get into a better program.

      • Grump

        The LSE is probably the best place after Oxford and Cambridge to do a Social Sciences Master’s degrees in the UK.

        However, I do agree with the commentator above that (like Oxford and Cambridge) they will probably take any foreigner who is ‘good enough’ and willing to pay international post-graduate fees. Having been at Oxford for my MSc and having seen the wide variability in prior qualifications and institutions attended amongst my peers, I left feeling that my getting in (I did my UG at Cambridge and pay foreign fees) was a no-brainer. My Ivy-educated friend who similarly did her MSc at Oxford thought so too.

        In terms of graduate employment if you are a US Citizen (and hence non-EU), things are going to be very hard for you in London on account of work visa issues. I found that to be the case. Employers are required to first offer UK/EU nationals before opening final stage assessment centres/final interviews to other ‘foreigners’. And unlike the US, the vast majority of university graduates who end up getting good jobs obtain them through the graduate schemes offered by top firms. I ended up returning to my home country, which left me pretty gutted as I had spent five years living in the UK and am probably more British than your average Brit, in terms of attitudes and temperment.

        Did you apply to Oxbridge? I think if you are still interested in the Cambridge side of Oxbridge – applications are still open there (I THINK). If you are going to spend all that money, I still think Oxbridghe will give you the best bang for your buck – over and above the LSE. And I disagree, you really can’t beat either Oxford or Cambridge in terms of amazing locations to live in. I think there is something to be said for being able to walk around the same grounds that Isaac Newton strolled through a few hundred years ago :P

        • L from Oz

          The challenge as an international student in the UK for postgrad is getting funding, not getting in – the former was much harder than the latter! (A few years on, am still rather pleased I managed it!)

          Some fields are easier in terms of getting into – I got interviews as a non-EU citizen without much trouble, and so did a South African friend of mine, but it really depends what you want to do.

          I have the impression that in certain economic fields, LSE is actually better than Oxbridge, but you’d have to look closely at the details. If you want generic brand recognition, then Oxbridge is probably better. Depends what you want!

          (I don’t think either option is “wrong”, by the way.)

        • AnonAnonAnon

          I believe you can get dual citizenship if a grandparent is UK/Scottish citizen, and I think you get get 5 year work visas if a great-grandparent was UK/Scottish. And this can be passed down (so you may have to get it for your parent/grandparent first, then get it for yourself.) I’m in the process of seeing whether I can get dual Irish citizenship for my mom so I can get it for my brother, his kids and myself. Then you have the EU citizenship for these things. =)

          • Anonymous

            Really? My grandfather was born in Scotland then immigrated to the US when he was seven. He became a US citizen. I have no idea why I would need this for any reason, but it would be nice to know…

        • International Development Professional

          I can’t comment on any degree other than the master’s in international relations, and we don’t even know that’s what the OP is considering, but Americans with LSE masters in IR are a dime a dozen, and none of the ones I’ve ever interviewed or worked with have been impressive in the slightest. Most have been roughly 24 years old and went to LSE straight out of college, and would have done better to get a job and work their way up until they could qualify to get into a better program.

      • Anne

        And amongst some Americans, it is seen as expensive finishing school for rich kinds who don’t know what to do after graduating and decide to add a cherry to their resume.

        I know that in some programs it really is excellent, but I would make sure you get as much out of it as you can, and really have something to show for it. Way too many people just come home and go to law school, and at that point you may as well just live in London for a year tending bar. Which, at the moment, is my total dream job fantasy!

    • rg

      Congrats on your admission. I love London! I did an Oxbridge term as an undergrad, and then had a grant to do research over the summer in London (still one of the best experiences I’ve had).

      Like some other commenters, I would caution you to examine the program you are considering very closely. Terminal master’s programs for foreigners at highly-ranked schools are often treated as cash cows for institutions. What do you hope to get out of it? If, being entirely honest with yourself, the primary reasons are a piece of paper from LSE and a broad network, then I would seriously consider whether it’s worth the large cost and if you can get those things (or at least the latter) in some other way.

      Also, depending on what your degree is in, if your plan is to return to the States and work in a policy type position, I would try to learn a lot about where people go after their degree (well, I would do that regardless). Case in point, I just left a Federal job. We had tons of people with related Master’s degrees from top institutions trying to come work for us. They were pretty much all at a disadvantage compared to people with bachelor’s degrees and real experience in the policy world. (Or people with other types of backgrounds that offered a different perspective and skill set…my background is in science.) I know it’s exciting to think about school now, but you don’t want to be facing loan repayments and slim job prospects two years from now.

      This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t go. But be clear why you’re going. Regardless of the purpose of the particular program you’re considering, the LSE is an amazing place with tons of resources to offer if you are willing to seek them out. If you try, you will meet amazing people. And London is fantastic. But master’s programs are short and expensive. I wouldn’t begin one unless you have a clear plan on what you hope to get out of it (details, not just vague ideas of prestige and educational resources). You will probably have to start looking for jobs one year after you start at the latest, so it’s best to have some idea of what you want before beginning.

      Another point regarding funding. A friend of mine financed her UK phD with a Marshall. Her take on it was that it’s not nearly enough money to be remotely comfortable (even with very low grad student expectations) and the program is primarily designed for well-off Americans who want the prestige more than the cash.

      I promise I’m not trying to be a downer on this because it is very exciting. But having spent a lot of time in higher ed, I know that grad school can be deceiving, especially when you’re considering a top-ranked program. Do your homework and learn what options it will really open up for you (you may be able to use something like LinkedIn to find out where grads end up). And be completely honest with yourself about why you are going. If you want to spend a few years in London and do a little studying, that’s not a terrible reason to go if the debt load is manageable for you…but admit that from the outset.

      Good luck!

      • L from Oz

        And I should probably add – my friends who’ve been to LSE weren’t in policy – they were all doing maths-heavy economic programmes. Certainly recommended for that, but if you’re interested in something else, I’d consider the comments above.

  3. anon for this

    I totally have something on my mind. How do you turn down a job offer with tact and grace and show the person that you truly appreciate the offer but can’t take it for personal reasons? I can’t get too much into details for fear of outing myself, but basically this is a company that has invested a lot in me, and that I really respect and don’t want to burn bridges with. At the same time, they gave me a stipend that I could pay back, but not right away, and I don’t think they will ask me to. Should I offer? Doing so would present a serious financial hardship, but I also feel like such a jerk for having accepted the initial job offer and now pulling out at the last minute.

    • anon for this

      And as a follow-up, should I do this by phone or in a letter? In person is difficult because of distance, but maybe I could do that if this is the best course of action.

    • E

      No, do not pay back the stipend unless you are required to do so. You can express your gratitude for the offer and for all the help they have provided, but this is going too far. You need to look out for your own best interest, and putting yourself in an unnecessary position of serious financial hardship isn’t consistent with looking out for your best interest, in my opinion. If it were a token amount, sure, offer to give it back as a goodwill gesture. But in this case, the additional goodwill you’d generate over just expressing gratitude doesn’t seem to warrant putting yourself in a difficult financial spot.

      I would send a formal letter or email to HR laying out the facts without too much detail. “Thank you for the offer. Unfortunately, I will not be able to accept it at this time due to personal reasons/as I must remain in my current location/whatever. I truly appreciate the opportunity.” Something like that. Then reach out a little more informally to the individuals who you feel have personally invested in you and express genuine gratitude by phone or even email and share that it wasn’t an easy decision.

      • SF Bay Associate

        Do not offer to return the stipend. In moments like that, where I wonder if I should do the “most right” thing even though it would hurt, I think to myself, “what would a [ethical] man do?” (Thanks, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.) Would a man, even a very ethical one, offer to return the stipend? Of course not, though he would return it with grace if required to do so. Quit bein’ a girl [and be a smart woman instead], as the NGDGTCO would say.

  5. Anonymous

    Anyone know how a 5 month stint of unemployment affects the ability to waive into another state’s bar? Does the clock re-set at the end of the 5 months, and you start from 0 again?

    • jg

      depends on the state. Most states’ requirements are that you practice full-time for a x of the last y years (e.g. 4 of the last 5 years). So a 5 month stint shouldn’t matter unless you were not consistently practicing before that.

  6. Need help for a Super Bowl Party

    I’m attending a Super Bowl party at my colleague’s home and am not sure what to wear. I don’t follow football, have no affinity for either team, and have only been to a couple of these types of sports parties before with close friends who didn’t care how much I knew (or didn’t know) about X sport.

    What should I wear given that I’ll most likely meet a number of work acquaintances? Is there specific etiquette to follow during the game?

    It’s cold where I am so I’m leaning towards dressy casual (skinny jeans, booties, long blousy top, bright cardigan, and simple jewelry). I’m approaching it as a fun networking (potentially) event.

    Thanks for helping me out!

    • Jay

      Your outfit sounds fine. As far as game-watching etiquette, take your cue from those around you. A lot of people really will want to watch the game, so if that’s the case at this party, don’t engage in loud conversations during plays. And a lot of people also like to watch Super Bowl commercials, so if that’s the case, don’t talk then either. Don’t ask questions about what’s going on in the game to people who are obviously really into watching it–they typically find that really annoying. I’d say half time is your safest time for chatting–I haven’t been to a party in about eight years where people actually watched the half time show.
      I follow football and my friends do too, so our parties may be more hardcore than where you’ll be though.

      • Jay

        Oh and even if you really don’t care who wins, pick a team to cheer for anyway–it’ll make it more interesting, especially if you have no idea what’s going on in the game because you’ll still have a reason to care. Then watch other people cheering for that team and cheer when they do. :)

        • AD

          It also helps if there’s pool of any kind going on, so bring a few bucks to throw in if that’s the case. You most likely won’t need to know anything to participate, so in that case even if you don’t really care who wins you’re emotionally invested in the game. (I’m mostly used to the football squares where you buy a couple of boxes, but there’s others.)

          And yes, definitely remember that a lot of people really like watching the game – I’ve ended up being hostess a couple of times and having to entertain people when I really just wanted to watch. :(

          • D

            Carefully consider whether you want to chose a team. First, you are dealing with colleagues. If you chose the opposing team and they win, there may be hurt feelings if someones team is in the game. So you may want to gauge the others to see the level of connection to the teams before you select a team. Furthermore, if you are cheering for a specific team, in my experience people expect that you know the game. You cannot understand football by reading a Wikipedia article.

          • Sharon

            “Carefully consider whether you want to chose a team. First, you are dealing with colleagues. If you chose the opposing team and they win, there may be hurt feelings if someones team is in the game. So you may want to gauge the others to see the level of connection to the teams before you select a team.”

            Hurt feelings? You have got to be kidding. Anyone who takes offense that someone else supports a different football team, and takes it more seriously than good-natured joshing around and trash-talking the other team, isn’t someone you need in your life in any fashion. You Corporetters and your fear of your clients! “Oh noez, I really like the Packers but I can’t dare say that in front of my client who supports the Steelers!” What is this, the 1950’s and we’re channeling the era of Mad Men?

            It so happens I was with a client today who attended a school that has a rivalry with my school (and Kat’s). We joked that we couldn’t shake hands because I rooted for X and he rooted for Y in a recent basketball game. (I didn’t even know the teams were playing. Whatever.) It was all good-natured. Really, anyone who takes it as more than good-natured teasing has some pretty wacked-out priorities. These are just games.

          • anon

            I’m commenting above because there is not an option to comment below the reply posts. I see the point in choosing a team to keep yourself entertained. But I’ve been in a few situations where someone picks a team but clearly does not know the game (and at times ends up chearing for the wrong team). Please remember that although the draw for some is the commercials or the half time show, this is the Super Bowl. For many people that is not the point, it is just a way to draw others in and make more money. People love football. I love shoes, but like football. If you clearly don’t care about the game, you look like you are cheering against someone and their team.

    • Elle 2

      At someone else’s home, be prepared that they may require you to take off shoes. Wear socks you’re comfortable sharing with colleagues.

      • Anon 23

        Such good advice. I have been caught with the mismatched sock look before – or worse, the sock with the hole in the toe.

        • cbackson

          Or, in my case, the “it’s laundry day and all that’s left in my drawer (in July) are black socks with orange jack o’lanterns” situation.

    • NYC

      The team in green and yellow = Packers (Green Bay)
      The team in black and gold = Steelers (Pittsburgh)

      That might help you sort out who is on offense. Also, root for the Packers! Aaron Rodgers is the bomb…

      • Need help for a Super Bowl Party

        I’m anticipating a mix of people who love football for the game to those who just like to get together and party (and everyone in between). Generally, the commercials and the half-time show (it’s Black Eyed Peas this year) are what get me through this monster event. Should be fun – thanks for the outfit advice, too.

        NYC – Thanks for the advice on who to root for!

        • JessC

          I agree that it’s very likely that you won’t be the only person there not or only marginally interested in the game or football generally. My main advice would be to leave those actively interested in the game alone during the actually play of the game – they might get annoyed.
          If you don’t have a team to cheer for, don’t worry you probably won’t be the only one. I love football, but I don’t have any particular feelings for either team and I couldn’t care either way who wins. But if you do want to cheer, when there’s no team playing that I like I usually cheer for the underdog (Steelers) or the team with the cutest quarterback (Packers).

    • alhambra

      You might want to learn the rudiments of football (seriously spend like 10 mins and you’ll get a lot). It will help you enjoy the game a lot more and when you ask what’s going on and someone says “It’s the 4th down and they have 2 yards to go” it won’t be complete gibberish.

      Dress casually, Superbowl food (pizza, beer, wings) is messy.

    • coco

      I agree, your outfit sounds great. Are you in an area that is more likely to have an affinity for one team or the other (obviously, Pittsburg or Wisconsin, but also if one of the teams is your home team’s “rival”, it could matter)? I would do minimal background research – find out the two or three most important players on each team so you have an idea about what is going on. Don’t try to pretend like you know more than you do, but understanding which QB is from which team can make it easier to follow.

      Depending on the size of the party, there might be a room designated for game-watching and a space for chatting – don’t feel bad about hanging out in the chatting area, but feel free to float around.

      • Need help for a Super Bowl Party

        Coco – Funny enough, I’m in Dallas (and it’s freezing now) and have no idea which teams people are supporting here so I’m going to spend a few minutes on Wikipedia reading up on the rules and teams.

        • coco

          Dallas is the “rival” of my hometown Philadelphia Eagles – but we’re not huge Packers fans either. I think they’re all in the same division, so you might have more people rooting against GB.

        • kz

          I can’t help you out at all with Packers players, but my BF is a huge Steelers fan and from having to listen to him (I couldn’t care less about football, but occasionally pick up interesting tidbits from BF and trivia games), it seems that the major Steelers players are Ben Roethlisberger (their QB; questionable ethics as he may or may not have raped someone), Hines Ward (I haven’t figured out his position or anything about him), and Troy Polamalu (again, no idea what position, but he has super awesome hair and is apparently a really nice guy).

          Though I’m not telling my BF this, I’m actually going for the Packers because the Steelers have won a bunch of superbowls (and recently) and the Packers are the only publicly-owned, nonprofit major sports team in the US, which just seems kind of cool to me.

          • D

            Troy Polamalu is a strong safety (2010 Defensive Player of the Year). Agreed, fabulous hair. Hines Ward is a wide receiver (offense) – you will know him by the great smile. As to Ben Roethlisberger, he was suspended for several games by the NFL commissioner, but the prosecutor declined to charged him.
            Go Steelers!

        • Nora

          Pittsburgh and Dallas are rivals going back to the 70s, so that might be another reason to root for the Packers.

          • Jay

            No, that’s the Eagles. The Eagles are in Philadelphia; the Steelers are in Pittsburgh.

          • Jay

            Maybe so, but if you ask most people in Pennsylvania “which is Dallas’s football rival, Philly or Pittsburgh,” they’ll say Philadelphia. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Eagles country, but I never once heard anything about the Cowboys and Steelers having a rivalry. The Eagles v. Cowboys….that’s something that makes the paper all the time.

        • Anon in Ny

          If it helps, a lot of people are rooting for Aaron Rodgers to win this super bowl since he was in Brett Favre’s shadow for a long time when Brett played the whole will he/won’t he retire game. And then when Green Bay told Favre they didn’t want him back after he waffled too long, Aaron really stepped up and was a much better quarterback than a lot of people (fans included) sort of expected him to be.
          Also, Roethlisberger is a sketchy dude and I’m not totally convinced he isn’t guilty of sexual assault.

          • SF Bay Associate

            Exactly why I’m rooting for the Packers too. Aaron Rogers is a class act and really stepped up after waiting in the wings behind Brett Farve’s far too long shadow. And Roethlisberger- ICK.

    • Nonnymous

      You actually sound dressy to me. It’s fine, but you could get away with leggings, sneakers, and a football jersey/team swearshirt that are playing in the game if you want.

      ITS THE SUPERBOWL! Most will be rooting for teams, having a few beers, etc. it’s a very casual event. (I love football).

    • MM

      I’m interested to see what others say, but I would recommend dressing very casually. Personally, I would wear jeans, a plain t-shirt (that’s not green, yellow, or black — the teams’ colors this season), loafers, and silver stud earrings. The people who watch football will be in jeans and t-shirts, sweatshirts, or jerseys. The atmosphere and food will be very casual. I worry that if you show up looking too “put together” AND not knowing anything about football, you will stick out like a sore thumb.

      I would recommend learning enough about football to know the basics of how the game is played — what downs are, how scoring happens, etc. — if you don’t know already. You can find that kind of simple primer on the internet. Don’t worry if you can’t recognize players, positions, or talk about team statistics. There will be plenty of people there who can’t.

      • stc

        I think a black t-shirt is fine as long as it isn’t combined with yellow. Folks, it’s a black t-shirt.

      • MM

        Yes, you’re totally right, black is fine. I was typing without really thinking about it. I was mostly focusing on the t-shirt > flowy blouse + idea. (IMO)

        • stc

          I know what you mean about team colors…and I agree that the suggested outfit sounded a bit too fancy for a superbowl party. Most I’ve been to have involved jeans and sweatshirts.

      • EC

        The Target in my area often has cheap team-specific apparel; if you don’t mind picking a side, I’d suggest getting a team t-shirt, wearing jeans and maybe cute tennis shoes. Unless you know there will be a lot of other people there who don’t care about the game at all, the flowy blouse and booties sounds pretty high maintenance for a football game.

        Also, lots of the Super Bowl parties I’ve been to take it outside at half time to throw a football around. So…flat shoes that you can get dirty and/or snowy might be a good idea. Even if you don’t play, you don’t want to be the girl who won’t go outside for fear of ruining of your shoes.

        • Need help for a Super Bowl Party

          Any excuse to go to Target is welcomed:)

          I don’t know how I feel about getting muddy (with the possibility of falling down) and running around with colleagues – this particular group doesn’t strike me as the type but I think I’ll go more casual than I was planning. Thanks for the advice.

          • Anon

            This made me laugh. :) (As I have, among other things, invited colleagues to meet me a the end of a half-marathon and go out to brunch, and they came, and I didn’t shower in between. I also once ran into my boss at a mud run – just what it sounds like – and he was stripped to the waist and filthy. Good times!)

            Think of the game as a time to channel your most casual, relaxed self and to hang out and have some food. No one is going to push you down in the mud.

      • Laura #2

        I agree w/ MM. I showed up at my super-put-together co-worker’s party last year in jeans and a v-neck sweater and still felt overdressed. I think you could take it a step down and feel comfortable.

        Please do yourself a favor and learn the basics if you don’t know them already. Do not be that girl asking “what’s a down again?” I know there is no such thing as a stupid question, but I pretty much guarantee that if you ask that, people will think it’s stupid. This series of articles seems to provide a decent overview: http://football.about.com/cs/football101/a/bl_football101.htm

        Hope you have fun! :)

    • associate

      Don’t walk in front of the TV during a play.

      Also, this sounds really dumb, but it’s come up in my southern state a million times in the last week. If you decide you are going to pull for the Steelers, be prepared to have someone attack you about their quaterback’s history with females (google if you need more details). Just a heads up to avoid an uncomfortable situation in a professional setting.

    • AC

      I would be that there will be a main TV-watching room for those focused on the game (and commercials!) but that people will be mingling throughout the home. With all the commercial breaks, the Super Bowl tends to last longer than a typical game, and unless everyone there is a fan of one of the teams or just a diehard football fan, not everyone will be glued to the game the entire time. I would bet there will be others like you with less knowledge or interest but who are there for the social aspect. The Super Bowl is one of those events that has become an excuse to eat, drink, and socialize. It’s helpful to be somewhat informed on the game, and you’ll have more fun that way, but as long as you don’t stand in front of the TV or have loud conversations when it’s obvious everyone wants to watch the commercials, you should be fine!

  7. JL

    I remember reading a post that mentioned a mascara that did not run. I think it may have been Kat’s post, but possibly a comment by another reader.

    Anyway, I want to find a good mascara that does not run. I am currently using Laura Mercier. I love the way it looks in the morning, but by the end of the day it has smeared under my eyes — even when I don’t put it on the bottom lashes.

    • EE

      Try Blinc mascara (can be purchased at Sephora). I never have a problem with it running/flaking, etc.

    • j

      I mostly use drugstore mascaras – L’Oreal Telescopic is my new favorite. No flakes, works wonderfully, and the non-waterproof classic version has amazing staying power for me. I also like Maybelline Falsies (waterproof) because it doesn’t flake. Mascara is so, so dependent on the person though. I’ve tried Make Up For Ever’s aqua smokey lash (waterproof) a couple of times and while the brush is a little awkward, the product is incredible.

      • j

        Oh, and if it helps, I have oily eyelids. We’re talking primer any time any makeup goes anywhere near my lids. :)

    • AEK

      I just recommended this on another thread— Clinique Lash Power long-wearing mascara.
      I also like Blinc for the staying power, but less for volumizing/lengthening my pitiful little lashes.

  8. Bonnie

    Dress casually. Manyof the people will probably be wearing football jerseys and jeans. I agree with Jay about not interfering with the game. It should be fairly easy to recognize those who are watching the game intently and those who are just there for the party.

  9. formerly unemployed now employed 'ette

    Just wanted to share some happy news – I got a job offer today! Thank you all for advice while interviewing and the support knowing others are out there going through the same thing.

    Now if only I can restrain myself from buying new clothes to celebrate….

    • lawyerette

      Congrats on the job! That is fantastic news. If you want to buy yourself something, just limit yourself to a budget or a particular item, or make a plan to buy something once you get you first pay check :)

      • Anon2

        Congrats and best wishes on starting your new job! A little retail therapy is in order just stick with a list/ budget and make sure you go through what you have in your closet so you know what you need. May make sense to wait a bit a get a feel for what others wear at the office, too.

        • Emma

          Second this. I went shopping in excitement before starting my current job, and got things that are way too dressy/uncomfortable for the environment. Wait a week if you have some staples that will get you by.

    • D

      Congrats! It’s the best feeling- finally knowing that all that hard work paid off. Make sure to have a celebratory toast with some friends/family

    • Nit

      Congratulations on the job offer! It is such a great feeling to receive one! I was fortunate enough to receive one for the job of my dreams in November, and I treated myself to a gorgeous Kate Spade bag (Quinn) that I found for $115. Love, love, love it! Every time I carry it, it puts a smile on my face because it reminds me of my good fortune. Definitely worth it even though I won’t be starting until August!

    • formerly unemployed now employed 'ette

      Thank you all for your well wishes and suggestions!

  10. Annie

    On a bit of a lark, I purchased a mesh “layering tee” from Free People last weekend, and now I’m trying to decide whether to keep it. Here it is (I got it in black):

    http://www.freepeople.com/clothes-layering/dotted-mesh-layering-top/

    I can’t imagine styling it to be work appropriate — but I’m actually worried a bit about the weekends as well. I love it in theory — over a tank, and with a blazer or cardigan perhaps? And I initially thought it might be useful for nights out when I wanted to cover up a bit but still be appropriate for a “night out”. But how reasonable is this kind of top for a 30yo woman? Any other styling suggestions? (I’m also totally open to exchanging it for a more useful color; maybe the black is a problem?) The price is too high for me to keep it on the off-chance I come up with more than one way to wear it.

    • Wondering

      Hm….you absolutely could not wear that to work, and given my style, there is no way I would wear that on the weekends either. I’m 30 as well, and this just looks too tween for my liking. I might feel differently if I tried it on, but on the model, it looks juvenile.

    • MJ

      Cute! I like how they did it in the ‘white’ picture (over a tube top) for a night out/drinks outfit. Over the ribbed tank top a la the ‘green’ picture seems very laid back/California casual (in a good way) to me.

      IMHO, I would wear it with the tube top/spaghetti strap top and heels for a drinks out date, with dark jeans for clubbing, and with the ribbed tank for weekends.

      • JessC

        This, totally agree with MJ’s styling suggestions. As long as you don’t style it the way they did in the photos for the black and pink versions (bra or midrif tube top), I don’t see anything in appropriate about it for a 30 year old. You’re not 16, but you’re still young and can still have plenty of fun with fashion!

    • Bonnie

      I like it better with a tank top instead of a tube top but honestly don’t love it in black. The black mesh just makes me think of something you’d buy at an adults only store.

    • cardiganista

      I think that’s super cute for a night out. I wouldn’t exchange it for another colour…I think the black is the best bet for how you want to wear it. I think it’s cute because its not just “mesh”…it has the cute dotted pattern. I have a lacy black top that’s similar and I just put a regular black tank underneath for going out and its perfect.

    • Anon

      It’s cute….but it looks really young to me. And like something possibly from Hot Topic.

    • j

      I love lace shirts like that. I have a lace tee from American Apparel that is ivory. I wear it with a nude camisole underneath, and I like it with a paperbag waist skirt, or pegged, blousy trousers (black, although it does look really good with forest green) and black and white spectator heels. Also fun with a wide-brimmed, floppy wool hat. DEFINITELY a night/weekend outfit, however.

    • Anon

      Seems like it’s tight enough to put under a sheath dress which would take away some of the youthfulness of it.

      • anon

        It sure would take a way from the youthfulness of it! Unless very artfully done, it’d look like Preschool Teachers Gone Wild.

  11. Anonymous

    I’m presenting at an academic conference I have never attended before. There is a “banquet” from 7-10 pm on the last day. What does one wear to such a thing? The same clothes as for conference-going, or something more festive/social? Would a non-business dress be inappropriate? Obviously I won’t show a bunch of skin, but otherwise, what are your pointers?

    • E.E.

      What time do the last sessions of the conference end? If shortly before 7:00, hardly anyone will change. If earlier, more of a toss up (you’d probably still be safe in your conference clothes), but I’ll let others chime in.

      • Anonymous

        Good point! I just checked. The last presentation ends at 5:30, but then there are miscellaneous other things scheduled–including a “reception”–through to 8 pm, when the banquet starts. (I got the starting time wrong in my first post, oops.) I suspect people will not attend all these things in between, they are not really substantive.

    • Jas

      The academic conferences I’ve been to were pretty casual, and the after hours socializing events were particularly so. Keep in mind, there’s a good chance you’ll go out to a bar afterwards, so dress so that you won’t feel too out of place/be uncomfortable walking if you go out.

    • Anon

      I’d probably leave my jacket in my hotel room (presuming you’re wearing a jacket and slacks/skirt or a suit) and swap it out for a shawl or scarf – something less formal but still professional.

      IME sometimes people change into fresh clothes after a day of sitting around in a suit, but not into “festive” clothing. Just something more comfortable. If it’s in a restaurant you might want to check out the website before you go to get a sense of how dressed up/down other diners will be. Also IME some people will drink too much at the banquet, probably something to avoid, especially if you’ve given a paper and are thus somewhat more visible than average. Utterly obvious, I know, but I’m always surprised at what people will do …

  12. 3L

    What would an appropriate gift be for someone who agreed to be a moral character reference for my California State Bar moral character application?

    For those of you unfamiliar with the application, it requires 5 moral character references who “know me well,” none could be blood or marriage relations, none could be previous employers, only one could be a law prof, some had to be members of the Cal. Bar, and all, of course had to be willing to attest to my moral character. I ended up using some old roommates, family friends, and some attorneys I used to work with (but not my supervisors) at previous internships. I’m not really close friends with the attorneys, but I felt that they knew me well enough for this purpose. One no longer lives in my city, so I can’t thank him in person or over coffee or anything like that, and email seems too impersonal. Would a thank you gift be appropriate? My admission to the Bar depended on these people’s responses to the Bar regarding my moral character, so I really appreciate that they agreed to be references and took the time to fill out and send in the (one page) reference sheet. I feel like I should at least send a thank you card, but I think I might send a token of appreciation as well, perhaps a book? Any suggestions?

    Did anyone else in Cal. (or other states with similar applications) send gifts to their moral character references?

    • soulfusion

      I’ve been a moral character reference for a friend in California and a couple of people in New York and I never received a gift (nor did I give one to my moral character references). But then, I’m not a good gift giver for these types of things. I think a thank you note is appropriate (although I will also admit I’m bad at sending these as well).

    • Guest

      Man…you’re a better human than me.

      I think a thank-you e-mail or card would suffice.

      Though a book would be nice, if you really don’t know the attorneys well personally, it might almost seem a little weird. I’m not sure.

    • MM

      Unless Cali is vastly different from other states, no thank you gift necessary. I’ve been character references numerous times before. It just involves checking a box, signing a piece of paper, and sticking it in the mailbox. Unless you need to butter them up for some reason to get them to check the right box … :)

    • BB

      I’ve never received a gift for being a moral character reference, or really any reference. This seems weird.

    • Clerky

      I’m admitted in CA, and definitely did not send a gift to any of my references. I recall sending a thank you card or an email. I think a gift, even a token one, would be weird.

      • stc

        This reminds me of sitting around the law review office and filling out each other’s forms for fitness/character.

    • Me

      Pretty much all states have these requirements. I’ve never sent one (licensed in 2 states) or received one. It’s not really something that requires a thank you gift. As someone else said, you just hurriedly fill in a few blocks.

      • JessC

        I’ve been a reference also, for a college roommate who later ended up going to law school as well. It takes only about 5 minutes to fill out the paperwork. A thank you email or card is more than suficient.

    • A. L.

      My state required 6 character refs plus 2 attorney references (who had to be different than the attorneys I listed as supervisors). I said “thank you” when they said I could put their name down. I don’t think anything more than that is necessary. And like someone said, it might even come off like you’re trying to ensure they say what you want–from your post, it doesn’t sound at all like that’s your intention or that you have anything to hide, but I think you do need to be concerned with appearance.

    • E.E.

      Agree that it’s completely unnecessary. At the same time, if you’re set on doing something for the out-of-towner and you really are taking the people nearby out for a thank you coffee, why not send a Starbucks gift card for $5-10? “Really appreciate your help, wish I could take you for a cup of coffee to say thanks. Since I can’t…” Though now that I’ve written that, it strikes me as a bit much.

  13. Lasik in DC?

    Ladies- does anyone have recommendations for Lasik doctors in DC area (or warnings)? Any words of wisdom from those who have done Lasik? Thanks in advance!

    • Two cents

      All of my optometrist/opthamologist friends warn against Lasik. There are too many cases of folks with adverse side effects. At the end of the day, it’s an ELECTIVE surgery for a part of your body that is absolutely crucial. I wouldn’t risk it.

      • anon

        This is the conclusion I came to after talking to an optometrist. Just not worth the risk. Especially since he said that the vast majority of people will eventually need reading glasses anyway.

        • Miriam

          I’m no expert, but I agree. I hate wearing contacts/glasses, but definitely not worth the risk to me. The hassle v. risking your eyes. Easy decision for me.

      • AnonInfinity

        One of my best friends is married to an opthamologist and doesn’t know anyone in his circle of eye-specialist friends who have gotten Lasik. I think that says a lot.

    • kz

      speaking of Lasik, did anyone out there have it a while ago and have you had any long-term effects? I would love to wake up and be able to see without putting on glasses, but I’m worried that there may be some horrible long-term side effect we just don’t know about since it hasn’t been around for that long, relatively speaking.

      • A. L.

        Had mine the same time as Divaliscious and also no problems. I did have to get one eye “revised” (not sure if that’s the correct term) because my vision was still changing. Revisions within two years were covered in the original price, so it didn’t cost anything. I was just out of college when I had it done, which was probably too young for my vision to have stabilized and the reason I needed a revision.

        My eyes are drier now and I find I have to use eye drops when I fly because airplane cabins are so dry, but I’d much rather carry a tiny bottle of eye drops than have to pack contact solution.

      • Louise

        I had Lasik surgery in 2000. My eyes were dry for about 6 months, and I needed to use artificial tears drops. I had some haloing around bright lights for about a year.

        My doctor recommended that if you are a perfectionist, or expect immediate results, you probably are not a good candidate for the surgery. However, if you need very high correction lenses, the surgery can make a huge difference in your life. I went from 8 diopter correction to less than 1 diopter, or ~20/400 vision to 20/40. Not perfect, but I no longer have to wear glasses simply to walk across the room in the middle of the night.

        An unexpected benefit for me: I have fewer nightmares now. My vision was so bad before surgery that I saw formless shapes that became horrible things in the dark. Even my own reflection in a darkened bathroom mirror was frightening. Now that I can see so much better, those particular demons were vanquished.

        When you reach your mid-40s, most likely you’ll still need reading glasses, so if your goal is to never wear glasses again, you may be disappointed. I wear glasses to sharpen up that 20/40 to 20/15, but the glasses are thin and lightweight. I’ve never regretted the surgery.

        • eff

          I have nightmares about my vision too! Mine is also bad and I have nightmares about being chased by horrible things and looking for my glasses cuz my vision is blurry in my dreams too. One thing I do worry about, even though its crazy, is emergency situations. If I woke up in the middle of the night and my house was on fire, id have to get my glasses first. and what if they broke? i would die, even if I could have made it out with my sight.

          • A. L.

            I think this was something my parents always worried about and why they wanted me to get it done before I moved away after college. I never wore my glasses and they were buried somewhere in a closet, so those wouldn’t have even been an option. If I had needed to get out in case of a fire or get away from an intruder, I would have been SOL. I couldn’t even read my phone to dial 911.

      • N

        I had mine 10 years ago and no problems. I would do it again in a heartbeat. No dry eyes or halos and much less hassle than contacts or glasses.

        • Anonymous

          Ditto from 2003. I often say it was the best money I ever spent – much less than the cost of contacts and glass over the past 8 years. And I can see! Yes, I’ll probably need reading glasses in my 40s like every other person (that just comes with aging), but by then I’ll have had 13-plus years with nothing.

      • Julia

        I had mine done in September of 2010. I do have some hazing at night, but I have unusually large pupils and was warned that hazing was inevitable. It doesn’t bother me one bit.

        I had no complications, no dry eyes beyond the first week and very minimal downtime. Surgery Friday morning and could have been at work Sat afternoon if necessary. I actually went out for dinner on the Friday night at a friend’s place. I was still light sensitive so wore my sunglasses.

        I spent the money and had the latest procedure, its my eyes so I didn’t feel comfortable cheaping out with the original flap lasik procedure even though some friends had had great experiences.

        I have absolutely no regrets and wish I had done it sooner. My eyesight has been steady for 8-10 years and my optometrist has been urging me to consider it for about that long.

    • s-p-s

      Dr. Whitten of TLC Laser Eye Centers is excellent. Some dryness was my only side effect, but working at a law firm has worsened my day-after-surgery 20-15 vision, so I’ll probably have to get a free touch-up soon. But it is a serious procedure – definitely talk to your optometrist and get an assessment. Some candidates are better than others, based on cornea thickness, stability of vision, prescription strength, etc.

    • Divaliscious11

      Dr Alisa Kim – Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye Institute. She was great, and her follow up care was awesome. Had the surgery a few years ago and it was life changing.

    • Anon in the snow

      I went to school with someone who had this done.

      She always squinted to see. And by the end of the day, her eyes always looked haggard.

      That cured my desire for this surgery.

    • E

      I had my Lasik in 2008 and couldn’t be happier. I did a lot of research because I had that “it hasn’t been around long enough” fear and got comfortable. It is amazing to be able to see the alarm clock, swim with my eyes open, and not worry about falling asleep while reading in bed. I did go to Stanford, rather than a Lasik place, which I would recommend. I saw someone above recommend Johns Hopkins and that’s the kind of place I would go to in your area.

      One other thing, I checked to make sure I was a good candidate (I was) and then put the necessary amount into my FSA for the following year, when I scheduled the surgery.

      Love my 20/15 vision!

      • Eponine

        The above anonymous was me, btw. I realized that I didn’t put my name in and a random anonymous recommendation doesn’t carry much weight. Anyway, the doctors at Washington Eye Center are extremely well respected. You can read reviews on any site, or look at the Washingtonian list of best doctors.

        • Lasik in DC?

          Thank you, Eponine. This is actually the place I am thinking of going with, so it’s nice to have confirmation of my research.

    • Jade Moon

      I had lasik for distance vision about six years ago. My close vision was lousy, too, but the correction of both would require one eye that could see far and one that could see close. The doc adjusted varying instruments to show me how my vision would be with the correction. It made me nauseous and I didn’t like it.

      However, I did have the distance vision corrected so that I would no longer need bifocals. Result? Worked fine for a few years, but over time my distance vision again became blurry and now it is as though I never had the surgery.

      I’m back to bifocals.

      • Divaliscious11

        I have the monovision in each eye, like you described as a result of correcting both up close and distance. I do notice that if I do a lot of one, the other eye gets fatigued, but that isn’t much different then before my surgery…. Its amazing how you adjust, but the first 2-3 days felt a bit like the tilt a whirl.

    • Accountress

      Ask your opthamologist who THEY would go to. I was luck that my opth. was also a refractive surgeon (he did my mom’s after-care when she had PRK surgery back in the 80s). His warning to me when I asked if I was a candidate was- “Don’t go to the mall to get it done!” and it’s totally true. You get what you pay for.

      I had laser PRK done at 19, and it was the best $4500 ever spent- looking back, I would have paid ten times that. 4 years later, my vision is still perfect and the only side effect is wicked dry-eye (which I may have had before and didn’t know because I always wore glasses). Big sunglasses have made the dry-eye essentially vanish.

      If you can, get multiple consultations, read up on the types of machines and surgeries that are recommended, and put the price as a secondary consideration (the prices should all be around the same, anyway- if one is significantly lower than others, be wary). If you decide to do it, best wishes!!!

  14. Madewell sizing?

    Hey weekend ladies, I’m about to make my first Madewell order and I’m curious as to sizing. How does it compare to JCrew, BR, etc? Is the size chart accurate?
    TIA!

  15. Marie

    LSE is definitely well respected in the US. The only drawback I can think of is that your professors/advisors may have more contacts in the UK than in the US, which could make a US job search more difficult after graduation. You can balance that out by doing an internship or two in the US, maybe summer before and/or summer during the masters, in the field you are getting the masters in.

  16. AnonAnonAnon

    Ugh, huge dentist bill this week that I didn’t expect. How much do you all pay for fillings and where are you? Mine was $600ish before insurance (and insurance only paid $100ish.) Granted, it was porcelein but wow, that was a lot. I’m glad my dentist didn’t use composite (since plastic fillings that loosened from the tooth and then trapped food and caused delay got me into this mess) but that really hurt. Add the $1500 for the crown in October and another 2 fillings in the next month, and my dentist is living pretty good off my payments alone.

    • Ann

      Blech, we are dealing with this too. Part of the problem that we’re having is that the dentist’s office calls the insurance for authorization, comes back and tells us “oh yes, this much will be covered” and then somehow, when they submit the final bills, the insurance company ends up not paying what the dentist office said they would, and we get a huge bill.

      We would honestly never go to the dentist for major work if we didn’t have our flex-spending account. It makes it so much easier to put the money aside. Health care savings accounts help too, if you can get one of those through your employer. Barring that, I have had luck calling the dentist’s office and getting on a payment plan so we’re paying so much a month until the bill’s paid off. The other thing to consider is getting second opinions on things. I was told by one dentist that I needed three crowns to deal with degrading fillings; I went to another (equally reputable) dentist, without saying anything about the other opinion, and he told me I actually just need replacement fillings in two of those teeth. Some dentists these days seem really out to milk every dollar out of people, at the same time when insurance plans seem to be paying less and less.

      I feel your pain. Our last dentist bill was $2,430 after my husband had to get an extraction, a bridge and a crown and I needed scraping/planing and a crown. Insurance only paid $1,000 of it, so we used money from flex spending to pay off the balance. It’s real hit, and it’s the reason why I think so many people don’t go to the dentist more frequently.

    • Laura #2

      I would definitely consider getting a second opinion. During Christmas break of my senior year, my family dentist told me that I had 4 cavities. I didn’t have time to get them filled, and ended up going to a new dentist 10 months later in a different city. I told her that my previous dentist said I had 4 cavities, and would have absolutely believed her if she told me they were there and needed to be filled. Turns out, she could only find one. I had several fillings at my old dentist and now question how many of them were necessary.

      In my experience, cavities rarely take me by surprise–I usually have a watch for a few visits before I need a filling (and I’ve actually been able to reverse some watches). Obviously, some things will come up more quickly than others, but I would be proactive about asking your dentist how your teeth are looking. Do you have any watches, fractures, etc.? I have a few things that I know will eventually need work. While I’m not excited about having the work done, I at least know it’s on the horizon and can be better prepared to pay for it.

      Having said that, I completely agree that it’s annoyingly expensive. But, teeth are pretty important :)

      • Jade Moon

        @Laura 2. What does the word “watch” mean in the context of dental work? I’ve never heard of it. Thanks!

        • Laura #2

          I’m not a dental expert, so this might not be an exact definition, but my dentist uses it for areas that will turn in to a cavity without regular flossing (and sometimes consistent use of fluoride rinse). I believe it means that there is some decay, but it isn’t through the enamel.

          The good thing about watches is that they are reversible, so if you know about them, you can take steps to prevent them from reaching cavity status.

          • Longtime Lurker :)

            My dentist uses this, too, in the sense that there are some places he/she writes down “to watch” for the next appointment, so they know to check those teeth in particular when I come back to see if the area has improved or gotten worse.

    • Tired Squared

      I’d suggest finding another dentist too. My first one tried to tell me I had 5-6 fillings (which was horrifying … I’m a fastidious teeth-brusher, twice a day, plus mouthwash!) and the second dentist could only find a “soft spot” on ONE tooth. That “soft spot” went away after using that new ACT mouthwash (on the second dentist’s recommendation).

      Some people are just trying to milk you for everything they can think of!!

  17. AB

    I just had a life changing experience. I have never been properly fitted for a bra, but assumed I knew my size (from where the assumption came, I cannot say) and have been bouncing merrily along with what I thought was no problem until today.

    Today as I just so happened to stop by the Nordstroms at my lunch hour, and just so happened to stop by the lingerie department and thought “why not?” The store was empty, and on my walk over I thought “the girls” looked a little more vivacious than usual. The sweetest lady took me into the dressing room and pulled out her measuring tape. Band size: 36. Not so surprising, I’d grab a 38-40 from time to time, so I wasn’t so far off. Of course, I expected by cup size to be a D or DD, which was the size of the bra I was wearing.

    Ladies, I could not have been more wrong. I am a 36H, and I am currently wearing my fabulous new bra that makes me look 15 pounds lighter (no joke, I have a short torso and my saggy boobs made me appear as if I had a gut) and my posture has improved. My clothes look better, I feel better, and the girls haven’t bounced nearly as much (or as painfully).

    I’m so happy to not feel fruppy and dumpy! Now I just need to switch out my sports bras. Maybe now I can exercise without doing the one arm over the boobs as I run move!

    Do any of you H cup ladies have suggestions for other places I might find pretty and inexpensive bras and sports bras? Also tips on care and maintenance, since I’ve graduated from a $15 bra at target, to a $60 nordstrom bra? I want to make these last as long as possible!

    • Anon

      Very happy for you! Your descriptions are kind of hilarious, too. I’m a B, so no help on where to buy Hs, but best of luck!

    • intj

      Would recommend “Bare Necessities” in Seattle, Washington. Custom-made bras and panties — sewn on-site, in the city — in a variety of heavier and lighter fabrics. You can literally send back and forth a piece with pins here and there until you get the sizing exactly right for you. (I was passing through once, and had the chance to be fitted by a seamstress.) I don’t wear their pieces very much anymore, but I did for years (being very small and having trouble finding anything elsewhere) and have a few sets in my drawer I return to for weekends and other times needing something uncomplicated. Nothing scares them off, including the very large, the nursing, and the cancer survivors.

    • mille

      The best sports bra ever is Enell. Not cheap, but really good for larger breasts.

      I buy from Lane Bryant and their family of websites; figleaves.com; and hipsandcurves.com. They all have a variety of bras at different price points. Lane Bryant usually has buy one get one half off specials.

    • Tired Squared

      Good for you!! Had a similar experience last year when I discovered that my band size was really a 31/32 instead of a 36, and the cup size was really a DD, not a B.

      It really does make a world of difference!

    • Anonymous

      I had pretty much the same experience myself a few years ago. I had been buying DDs from Victoria’s Secret, but then they stopped carrying them in stores so I went to Nordstrom. Yup, I’m a 40G. I always buy LeMystere even though they are expensive because I really like them. I know I should handwash them, but really I am too lazy so I just throw them in with my laundry. I had the wire pop out of one last year and Nordstrom replaced it for me. They didn’t even ask how I washed it.

    • SJ

      I had a bra related life-changing experience last year. Reading a style book by Kendall Farr where she stresses the importance of proper fitting, I discovered the existence of “AA” cups. All my life my bra straps have been slipping off of my shoulders, leaving me with a strict diet of racerback bras.

      Now I’m wearing 36AA with *zero* slippage. It’s like those people who discover at age 20 that they have vision problems and when they get glasses are suddenly like, “Wow, is this what the world is supposed to look like?” lol

      • Anne

        Title Nine has a great selection of voluptuous sports bras, also love Bravissimo

      • AnonInfinity

        I had exactly this same experience, and I am exactly the same size. I always wore 36As bc I didn’t think I could find anything smaller. I still have to order online, but the fact that I have bras that actually fit and don’t slip around has been amazing.

    • Eponine

      I get my 34G bras at Nordstrom Rack. I normally get bras that are more in the $100 price range, marked down to around $60-80 at Nordstrom Rack. Fantasie and Chantelle are the brands that fit me best. Le Mystere is nice, but the straps tend to be too wide set.

      Wash them either by hand or in a lingerie bag, and never, ever dry them. Buy bras tight enough that they fit only on the loosest band, so that you can tighten them over time as they stretch. That will help you keep them longer.

      • coco

        It is always my goal to tighten as they stretch. But I seem to stretch as much as they do…

    • ABC

      Went from 34B to 32DD over night… rather shocking to think that I am a DD, but I look and feel much better with a bra that fits!

      • anonymous

        Ha. I thought I was 34B and was actually 32D. It was kind of shocking. But yes to everyone who has said that the right bra makes you look like you lost weight and improves your posture. Every woman should get a proper bra fitting, it’s not too much of an exaggeration to say it can be life-changing!

    • Darlene

      What a great feeling to know your size. What brand did she put you in? Keep in mind that different brands may fit differently, but at least you know where to start! For instance, I tend to wear a 34H in Prima Donna, but a 34FF in Fantasie.

      Fantasie has a nice everyday bra that costs just $50. You can find pretty, frilly brands that go up to an H with just a little bit of research. I love Herroom.com because they give extensive reviews by customers, along w/ the bra size of the customer reviewing them. Bravissimo in England is another great resource.

      Freya, Panache and Fantasie are good, reasonably priced brands. Prima Donna, Chantelle, Empreinte, and Lise Charmel are high-quality, higher-priced brands. I think the latter are worth it for everyday bras because the more supported you feel up top, the more secure you feel about what you’re wearing. Also, the cost per wear goes down considerably for a bra you wear 2-4 times a week.

      For sports bras, I love my Enell, but a very athletic 32H friend of mine swears by her Bendon Extreme Out Technical Support Sports Bra.

      • M

        I had this same experience, too! I went from a 36D to a 34F and everyone goes, “have you lost weight?” A proper fitting is amazing! If you’re in DC, I cannot recommend the Dor-Ne Corset Shop in Silver Spring highly enough. It was a little weird at first to have an older Russian woman handling the girls, but I got over it when she brought me the best bra ever (the brand Fantasie, which specializes in smaller band sizes with larger cups).

        Ditto about HerRoom.com, I love the extensive comments section and they make returns super easy in case something goes awry.

    • M&M

      Intimacy is another great store for bras of all sizes…and they even have these amazing tanks with REAL bras built in (they are size-specific and hook in the back inside and everything). So nice to take off my jacket to reveal a tank without bra straps hanging out everywhere! Love, love, love this store…however, it is a bit pricier than Nordstrom even, so be prepared. The way their bras made my whole wardrobe look better made it worth the price. Good luck!

    • zee

      I got a good (compression, underwire, full-figure) sports bra from Lady Footlocker for around $35 – it’s a 34DD/E I believe. It’s worth checking out the sports companies like Nike/Underarmour/etc. too. I don’t think it will last forever, and I do recommend Title Nine for higher quality. I have found that with the right running bra, my back doesn’t get tired like it did before. It’s even improved my distance running!

  18. Kaye

    For care suggestions: hand-wash, or, if you machine-wash them, get one of those bra-specific mesh bags: http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=mesh+bag+bra&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=242626876557259475&ei=hKBMTeqAIsX7lwe2yp3nDw&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CEoQ8wIwAw#

    If you ever wash them without a mesh bag, always close the hook-and-eye closures. And, of course, never ever put them in a dryer – line-dry.

    I’ve heard that it’s best to rotate bras and not wear the same one two days in a row. This lets them dry out properly and gives the elastic a chance to rest between wears. Kind of like you aren’t supposed to wear the same shoes twice in a row. I’m not sure I buy this, but there you have it :)

  19. Temporarily anon

    For all of you lawyers out there, what are your thoughts on the ranking directories like Chambers and Legal 500? Not the give-me-money-and-I’ll-list-you-on-my-website ones, but the ones that do client research, etc? Criticism? Praise? Anything? I’d just like to get some anonymized thoughts on this. Thanks!

  20. Housecounsel

    There are plenty of good bras for us DD + girls, but there are no cheap ones. Stick with Nordstrom.

  23. Bah

    Has anyone done P90x? I just ordered it (after a bit of wine, so I didn’t obsessively research per my normal anxious self), and am now noticing a ton of accessories on the “related products” section. Push up bars, some adjustable weights, a plyometrics mat, a pull up bar, etc etc etc. I’m concerned about purchasing all this stuff–I’m pretty sure I can do without the mat, but haven’t ever seen the DVDs or workouts.

    Do I need all of these accessories? Can someone recommend the minimalist version? Thanks in advance.

    Any good stories of success? I’m trying to avoid lunch lady arms at my July wedding…saw a friend from college who looked AWESOME and she attributed it to p90x, so I thought I’d give it a go!

    • Anonymous

      A good thick mat IMO is a must for the yoga and some of the pushup exercises. A set of weights (I have adjustable ones) and an exercise band are the only must haves. As far as the pullup bar and the pushup bars I would not worry about them unless you are pretty advanced. Even the pullup exercises can be modified with the bands.

      If you have Play It Again Sports by you that is where I would go to at least look at the equipment. I ended up getting several sets of bands (as I advanced) from there and they were good quality bands. The store (at least by me) has a special P90x section.

    • L

      Diet is really key for definition – lower body fat = more definition, and that only comes from fewer calories taken in v. expended. If you tighten up your diet while amping up your exercise, you will see a lot more results.

    • CSF

      You will need either a pull up bar, or resistance bands that can be fitted to your door. You will also need either a set of resistance bands in different tension strengths, or a couple of different sets of weights (whatever weight you are comfortable with). That is probably the *most* minimalist you can go with P90X. You can get a good pull up bar from Bed Bath and Beyond with the 20% off coupon for $20.

      You won’t need all the extras, especially early on. And he will tell you how to use the workout with your equipment. You can start off with just the resistance bands at first if that’s what you want, and fill in more equipment over the course of the program if you find you need more.

      • CSF

        Forgot the mat–you’ll want a yoga mat (can get at Target for $15 or less) if you have hardwood floors, or a rug that won’t be too comfortable to lay on for an hour. Again, that’s something that is more of a comfort purchase for me, than a necessity (because I have carpet).

    • JJ

      I did P90X with just a small set of hand weights (that I already owned), a yoga mat, and a set of resistance bands. I just put the bands over a door and didn’t buy a pull-up bar. They’ll have someone in the videos doing a modified version like that, so you can see how to do it.

      Enjoy! You’re going to be so sore (in a good way)!

    • Anon in the snow

      Tony Horton is one of the most OBNOXIOUS human beings on the planet. And when you are working out to the DVDs, all his lame jokes over and over become a form of torture. I also have a coworker who was very excited about all the P90 vids but came to the same conclusion. The man’s style got in the way of concentrating on the workouts. Pretty soon all you want to do is smack him to make him shut up.

      P90x is grueling, don’t kid yourself. But that is why it works. Unless you are in very good shape and know how to do all the moves with good form, I would be very cautious about jumping in at this level.

  24. Janie

    I’m trying to break up my suits more to get more wear from the individual pieces. Any suggestions on pairing a navy pinstripe jacket?

    • Nita47

      I have repurposed a navy pinstripe jacket as a warm weather blazer with contrasting, lighter skirts, dresses or pants (white, off-white, grey, khaki neutrals; brights such as pink, coral, yellow, gold, green, turquoise). The only don’ts I can think of might be blue, navy or black, but – try it and see.

      Similarly, a khaki suit jacket can look nice paired with a print dress or bottom, or a print top with a compatible color skirt or pants. (Same for black or grey suit jackets, come to think of it.)

      • Janie

        Thanks for the advice. I’m thinking lighter colors would probably work best with it.

    • Nita47

      One more thought – if you’re retiring the suit jacket permanently to work as a blazer, consider changing the buttons so it doesn’t look so much like a recycled suit jacket.

    • - j -

      LOVE Nita’s idea of turquoise. I try to mix and match my suits often too, but was also in need of a little inspiration for the navy pinstripe. Was going to try it with a light khaki, but was otherwise clueless. I do wear it with jeans for our casual (jeans) Fridays.

  26. Joy

    Love the dress! I’d wear it with a white mid-length cardigan in the summer with peep toe pumps to work!

  27. eff

    Suggestions on great work bags? I have an interview bag, which is leather, structured like a brief case, the problem is I can’t fit stuff in it like lunch, flats, etc. So I need a bag for everyday, but as this is something I want to lead to a job, conservative no frills, etc. And black because that matches most of my clothes. Something like the longchamps bag, but hopefully cheaper, and maybe more formal. Thank you for any suggestions! Or just sharing your favorites.

    • Eponine

      I love my LeSportsac tote. It’s as durable as the Longchamps one, cheaper, and less ubiqutious. Mine is the Erika tote, but they come in various sizes. I wouldn’t call it more formal than Longchamps, but in plain black it would be totally fine for work or an interview IMO.

    • Nita47

      My favorite everyday totes are one from The Limited (a grey fake suede “slouchy hobo bag” from 2009) and two from Target
      http://www.target.com/Gia-Milani-Handbags/b/359532011/ref=sc_fe_l_2_12940921_7?node=359532011
      (Minus the blingy hardware, which is easy to remove). These can handle file folders, clipboards, lunch, shoes, hat, pashmina wrap, satellite purse, devices, small laptop … you name it. Also suggest looking at Ebay (women’s handbags/totes or hobos) for a Longchamps(R) bag or knockoff.

      • eff

        There are so many there! Thank you so much one of those will definitely work, I really appreciate it!

  28. Coach Laura

    Someone mentioned a great nail polish at Ulta for weak nails. I can’t find it with the search function or google. Can anyone tell me the brand/name?

    • TX Attny

      I don’t know what was originally recommended, but I have a few friends who swear by Nailtique. It hasn’t worked the same for me as it has for them, and I love Sally Hansen Strong Nails Now (in an orange bottle). I hope this helps you, Coach Laura.

    • - j -

      I’ve had good luck with nailtique as well, though I eventually just gave up and started getting shellac manicures because they last forever.

      • Coach Laura

        One of my friends just told me about shellac manicures but I wanted to make one last attempt at something on my own first. My nails grow well, but my problem is that they break off really low and that is so extremely painful. I don’t like “fake” acrylic nails and really like the fact that shellac nails look natural and last a long time. I also don’t want my nails very long, as I am active and do things like gardening, horse care, etc.

        Are there any drawbacks to shellac?

        • somewherecold

          I had a manicure with shellac polish, and I was pleased with it. I got light pink, and even though my nails grew out a bit, it was hard to tell with the color. The salon I went to told me I should come back in two weeks, or whenever I wanted the polish off, and they would take it off for me. They said that they would soak a cotton ball in remover and leave it on each nail for a while, since the shellac is kind of stubborn. I ended up peeling off the polish in the shower–I think the steam helped–a few days shy of two weeks after having it done. I don’t think that was the greatest thing for my nails, but they held up.

  29. anon

    Question for you all:
    I’m a 2L and I have a position lined up as an SA at a biglaw firm this summer. This past year I was diagnosed with a heart condition that is completely benign, but causes me to faint occasionally, especially when I stand up after sitting for long periods of time. I’ve started medication for it that has helped a lot (only one fainting episode in the past 2 months), but I’m still terrified of the possibility that I will stand up after a meeting or something this summer and faint in front of people at the firm.
    Embarrassment issues aside, I am even more worried about someone calling 911, sending me home, etc if this happens (none of which is necessary- I feel perfectly fine within 1 minute of regaining consciousness). At school enough of my classmates know about this that the couple of times it has happened someone around me was able to assure everyone that I was OK. So my question is, do I tell someone at the firm about my condition? If so, who? And any advice about handling the aftermath of this potentially embarrassing situation?

    • Anne

      Yes, please tell people. I’d start with whoever the summer program coordinator is, and the other summers, and then tell people as you need to. Your explanation is clear and succient, so just emphasize this is something that happens sometimes, it isn’t an emergency, and people should do xxxx when it happens.

      I’d wait until you start, especially since you are getting better (yay) and it might not be such a worry then.

    • Ballerina girl

      I would second the advice to tell people. Don’t tell them at the beginning of every meeting where you anticipate this might happen, just tell those who work closely with you about your condition and tell them that they should only call 911 under certain circumstance (such as if you’re out for more than a minute). I don’t have this problem, but I did faint at the doctor’s office and was sent to the ER despite the fact that it wasn’t a big deal (they though I had a seizure, but really i was just shaking) and it cost me a lot of money.

      • E

        Speaking as an epileptic, I hear you!

        Before I got on my current medication I would have seizures every two months or so, and they were of the kind that only lasted a minute or so, followed by a mental haze for 20-30 minutes. When I ‘came to’ to find myself en route to hospital it was very irritating.

        And the time I was in America unaware that I had travel insurance (long story)… oy. I was strapped down throat and all four limbs, loudly refusing all treatment even though I had a badly sprained ankle and shouting LET ME GO, LET ME GO because all I could think of was how expensive American medical treatment was known to be.

        They unstrapped me eventually and let me hobble off. The ambulance ride cost $410.

        • Ballerina girl

          That sucks! Mine wasn’t even a seizure–I was awake and aware immediately, no fog at all. 8 hours in the ER waiting to see a doctor, tons of tests, and a $610 bill (after my insurance paid their part). I appreciate the doctor taking precautions but the ER doc was like “why did they even send you here if you were fully aware of your surroundings after you fainted?”

    • Bk foette

      I have something similar — I sometimes faint if I move from sitting/laying to standing/walking. I find that if I stand still after getting up for 30 seconds or so, the problem is resolved. Of course I look semi-silly just standing in one spot until time has elapsed, but less embarassing than fainting. I would tell your SA coordinator and your assigned mentor and your fellow summers. Then pick and choose who else to tell as needed. Good luck, it sucks to faint in a room full of people!

    • cbackson

      Okay, so I actually have a very similar medical condition (basically, postural hypotension gone wild, but not due to a heart condition). I told my SA coordinator, my officemate, and a few other SAs. At my firm, I’ve told my assistant and a few other people that I frequently work with. It’s far better to get out in front of this one.

      • anon

        Thank you all so much- I’m glad to hear that it wouldn’t seem weird or out of line to bring up a medical problem like this to a few people so that they would know what to do. And cbackson, it’s good to know that someone else has gone through this!

        Bk foette, have you ever been evaluated by a cardiologist? It sounds like we have the same symptoms. I didn’t even realize how much the whole process of feeling faint/trying not to faint was sapping my energy until I started meds that reduced the reactions (after actually fainting several times from the same trigger). Not all meds work for everyone, depending on what sort of hypotension condition you have, but I would suggest at least seeing someone to determine if it can be helped!

    • AnonInfinity

      I agree with everyone — tell someone.

      As for the aftermath:

      I have hypoglycemia and am prone to fainting episodes if my blood sugar is not in control. I once fainted at a huge fundraising event in front of all the female partners at a firm where I wanted to work.

      Most. Embarrassing. Day. Ever.

      I wouldn’t let anyone call an ambulance, and I continued with the luncheon. I did go to the doctor a few days later, and I sent an email to the partner I was closest with, telling her that I got the all clear and it was just a blood sugar episode. I think she spread the word. Everyone was mostly relieved that I was okay, as far as I could tell.

      Luckily, my life and career did not end, and I don’t think I became known as “That Girl Who Fainted.”

      And, now I have a funny story to tell at parties.

    • Joy

      I faint as well because of a heart condition but it’s not serious enough to warrant medication…I usually faint only once a year and I’m fine after a minute of regaining consciousness. I’d definitely tell the people you work with about it. Most likely your immediate boss and some of your close colleagues so that they don’t call 911 once you pass out!

  30. movingout

    Hey all,
    I am trying to decide when I should start looking for an apartment in Chicago. I will be graduating in May and already have job, but won’t be starting until August. My parents said that I can live at home (in the suburbs) for up to a year after I start my job, but I definitely don’t want to stay that long (even though I know I’d be saving a TON of money). I was thinking I would live at home until November/December. When would it be appropriate to start looking at apartments?
    I figured out that I can spend about $900-1100/month on rent/utilities, and I am really interested in living in the neighborhoods between Streeterville and the Gold Coast and Lakeview and Edgewater (including Lincoln Park). Thanks!

    • anonymous

      I would probably start investigating at the beginning of the summer, after you graduate. I don’t think you’ll see listings for leases starting in August until then.

      As far as neighborhoods, Gold Coast/Streeterville is probably out of your price range, but other than that there should be a variety of options in those neighborhoods. Keep transportation in mind when looking at any apt; if you’re planning on using public transit, make sure it’s a place near a convenient El stop or bus route, and if you are planning on having a car, check parking availability and rates. Also think about what kind of “feel” you want your neighborhood to have; Wrigelyville will be a much louder neighborhood filled with mostly young people (ditto to a lesser extent for Lincoln Park), while Old Town and parts of Lakeview are quieter.

    • Another Sarah

      If your parents are on a Metra line, or if you can easily get to a Metra line, getting to work from your parents shouldn’t bee too much of a hassle. And you would be saving TONS of money. If this is your first job out of college, the landlord will want your parents to cosign if you don’t have a lot of money in the bank, even if you have a job. So if you think this may be an issue for you, then I would recommend spending some time at home first to save up some cash.

      Start spending some time in the different neighborhoods starting this summer so you get a feel for them. There’s a whole bunch of different neighborhoods between the Gold Coast and Edgewater, and each has a different feel. Also don’t forget West Town – between the Loop and Greektown (which is also awesome) – which is home to a lot of new highrise apartments that could be in your price range. But I agree that streeterville and the Gold Coast is out of your price range unless you’re going to live with a roommate. So are large parts of Lincoln Park, for that matter. FWIW, you’ll get a whole lot more bang for your buck if you go to the neighborhoods a bit further away from the lake – Lincoln Square, Ravenswood, etc. But if you’re looking for the nightlife and bars you don’t have to worry about how you’re getting yourself home from, Lakeview/Boystown/Wrigleyville/parts of Lincoln Park is more the way to go. Also, not my cup ‘o’ tea, but Bucktown/Wicker Park is very popular right now, and actually really close to downtown – takes about 10 mins on the blue line from the Loop.

    • divaliscious11

      The first time I lived in Chicago I found a great studio in your price range not by looking in the paper, but by walking around the neighborhood and saw a sign in a window. You may have better luck that way. Of course this was pre-craigslist…..

    • Laura #2

      You can also use services like Apartment Finders. I didn’t end up getting an apartment through them, but it helped me see different styles in my price range (high rise, walk up, etc.) and get a feel for what I liked. They will do their best to sell you on something, so just know that going in.

      Craigslist is good, but don’t count on finding apartments more than a month or two in advance. Also, I was completely skeptical of finding a roommate on Craigslist, but I’ve had good experiences with both (first got married, second I’ve lived with for 2.5 years). You will definitely get more space for your money, so it might be something to consider.

      One other piece of advice: the majority of leases start in the summer, so your options will be more limited in the winter. Also, it’s more of a pain to move in the winter vs. summer months. I don’t think living at home would be a big deal, especially since you have to save for your security deposit, but keep that in mind. If you do sign in November of December, you might see if you can get a 9 month lease to start out. Your landlord might be willing to accommodate that since the summer months are more popular for renting.

  31. kz

    This is probably too late in the weekend for a reply, but here goes:

    Hunter rain boots. Are they worth the price? My $20 rainboots split in the back seam last week, so I need a new pair and I’m wondering if maybe I should just spring for Hunter’s. My cheap pair lasted about 2 years. So am I better off just buying a cheap pair every couple of years, or do Hunter’s really last long enough to be worth it?

    • Ballerina girl

      I don’t have Hunters, but I’ve come to the conclusion you suggest above–to buy new pairs every few years. In my experience, I kind of want new styles every few years anyway.

    • coco

      6pm has a ton of rainboots on sale and I keep seeing Tretorn boots. The reviews on Zappos are very good but I was wondering if anyone had any experience with them. The (initial) price seems high enough to seem like they will last a while, but the amount of stock on 6pm also worries me.

      • anonymiss

        I have tretorns and I love them. They are fleece-lined and much warmer than my Hunters.

    • E.E.

      I’d say Hunter’s won’t last you 10-15 years (or anywhere close, really). If you can find a nice cheap pair, I say go for it.

    • Anon

      I love my Hunter boots, but I got them on sale. I think I paid about $35 for them from RueLaLa (last year). They are not the color I would necessarily pick if I had unlimited options and unlimited money, but they do the job. That said, I would probably not pay $120 or whatever it is for them, unless I was a student or walked to work. For me, I only wear rainboots when it’s super super wet or on the weekends. Hunters are definitely nice and VERY waterproof, but they are not $120+ nice if you only need them occasionally.

  32. Anon

    I hope it’s not too late in the weekend for this, but I’m wondering if anyone has tips for how to indicate that a position was term-limited on your resume. I’m leaving an academic career (I finished my PhD a few years ago). Since then I’ve had a short term research position (very standard in academia), and a short term (1 year) fellowship to give academics experience to help them transition out of research. The fellowship, at least, is a must to include on my resume because it’s the most important non-research experience I have. Also, my research position was long enough that I think it would look like a weird gap not to include it (about 2 years). But is there anyway to make it clear that these were limited term appointments? Any advice is appreciated.

    • E.E.

      Something like this should do the trick:

      Harvard Lab for Behavioral Science, 2-year research post (dates)

      Harvard Institute of Psychology, 1-year fellowship (dates)

    • balancingact

      I think if you call one a 1 year research fellowship and the other a 1 year training fellowship, it makes it clear that they are different fixed term employment arrangements. People equate fellowships with something that isn’t permanent. Good luck!

  33. Violet

    If I may ask for some comments on my quandary please:
    I am recently separated from my husband of many years (sob) as he walked out with a good friend of mine. I am not seeing anyone or inclined to do so.
    I have 2 partners in legal practice, both men and very good friends. . I have recently removed my wedding rings. When I refer to my office partners professionally and socially I have always said just that ie “My partner John” as distinct from “My husband Dirt”. I don’t know if I am just being oversensitive but I have noticed a few people now say “Are you two together?”. I’ve tried “My legal partner” but that just sounds creepy. “Colleague” is not a term usually used in relation to those who are in partnership in a legal firm here.What do others do? Help pls!!

    • Ab

      I would say “our partner” instead of my partner. He’s not so much your partner as he is a partner of the firm.

      Also, I feel for you having to deal with a separation, and with a terrible non-friend. I wish you the absolute best in coping with the situation.

      • Anonymous

        This sounds great.
        Best wishes to you. Hopefully much better days are ahead.

      • balancingact

        I’m sorry about your situation, that stinks.

        I like “our partner” and you could also say one of our/my partners, which makes it more clear since ostensibly people don’t say that in a romantic sense! :)

    • TX Attny

      Violet, I’m so sorry. Ab is right – in addition to “Dirt,” it stinks to have such a terrible non-friend. I agree with Ab that “our partner” is good. I also like “my colleague” or “one of my partners”.

    • Lola

      I think “my law partner” is perfectly appropriate in this context.

      And hugs to you. That really sucks.

      I recently took a hiatus from dating, and another of my cheated-on friends did too, and it’s absolutely worth it. Sometimes people want to set you up, but just tell them you’re not dating. :(

  34. PC

    So I’m a Peace Corps volunteer and for our 50th anniversary in my host-country, our main office is planning a fancy party at the US Ambassador’s residence. We’ve been told that the dress code is ‘formal,’ but little else. I’ve heard some people say that they’re wearing something along the lines of a little black dress, and others supposedly are getting gowns(?!). Guys are supposed to wear suits, if they have them – if not I’m assuming they’re supposed to wear nice pants, a nice shirt, and a tie.
    Ive never been to something where the suggested attire is formal, and I’m not sure what I should wear. I only brought two dresses with me and they’re both a rayon/cottony material (but not super casual.) I’ve asked my parents to send me a dress from home, but i’m not sure it’ll get here in time – the event is on the 1st.)
    I’ve been trying to find something here, but nothing seems quite appropriate (or fits!).

    Does anyone have suggestions on what I should be looking for/what type of look I should be aiming for?
    (The other thing is that as Peace Corps volunteers, we’re only given a modest living stipend, and I’m kind of reluctant to dip into my own savings for a dress that I’ll probably only need/wear once, that probably doesn’t fit well – so if anyone has suggestions on how to make things look fancier than they are, that’d be helpful too. I do have access to a fair variety of jewelry/accessories)

    • rg

      Typically “formal” refers to gowns and dark suits while “semi-formal” is more cocktail, but I think those terms are no longer used that way. My suspicion is that since it’s Peace Corps and it’s unlikely that you could be expected to have or easily obtain a gown that a cocktail type dress would be fine (at an embassy function I wouldn’t go more casual than that, though it depends a lot on what country you’re in/what continent you’re on…e.g. Africa in general is probably more casual than Eastern Europe assuming there are still missions there).

      In general, I think dark colors look fancier than light ones if you’re going with a more casual fabric. Heels dress things up as do tasteful accessories (think a few strands of a long necklaces or the like). And depending on whether it makes sense, sometimes just sweeping your hair up can do a lot to dress up an outfit.

      But overall, have fun and enjoy the event! You’re PC volunteers, so at the end of the day, most people know what limitations you’re working with.

    • coco

      If it is for other volunteers, I would imagine there will be a wide variety of style. Also, depending on your host country, “formal” may mean a variety of things – when I was abroad, it meant muumuu. Can you talk to your fellow volunteers or friends and see if you could piece together an outfit from the joint closet? I would definitely go with the nicest shoes available (heels if you can), nice looking jewelry and maybe find a scarf to make into a pashmina/wrap? What about adding details to a dress with earrings as brooches or sewing on a sparkly bracelet on trim? Maybe look around at some DIY websites – they might have more suggestions.

      Overall, don’t worry too much. You are a volunteer doing good works. Let that shine through and you’ll be fine.

      • Hel-lo

        One thing that can make any outfit look more formal is a long nice scarf, hanging straight down from your shoulders toward the floor.

    • Anonymous

      Don’t know where you’re serving, but I’m an RPCV and for these events all the volunteers would go with local dress. It was the cheapest option, looks great in pictures, and is always appreciated by the host country nationals. Then again, I served in a country where the local women wore almost exclusively local dress for fancy occasions, so it was an easy choice and there was a wide variety of fabric to choose from, and the tailors knew exactly what to do. Another option was to buy local fabric and try to explain a Western style dress to your tailor, but that often had mixed results- and now I’m laughing thinking of some of the dresses that people with minimal language skills ended up with after trying to explain what they wanted to a tailor. It usually works out best when you have a picture of what you want to bring to the tailor.

      Barring that, is there a secondhand market in the capital? Volunteers in my country always had luck finding formal clothes there- many of us actually swung by there before we COSed to find dresses on the cheap to wear at weddings back home!

      (One last thing- volunteers were notorious for showing up in nice outfits with plastic flip flops. It made the locals cringe. Make sure to buy nice shoes, the cheap new ones or secondhand ones!)

      • MC

        I’m also a RPCV and agree with everything above. Local dress is best if you can find one that fits. Where I was, it was very easy to have something simple made from scratch by a local seamstress, and much cheaper than trying to get something new from the “mall” in the capitol.
        Most importantly, don’t wear flip flops!!

  35. Maya

    Completely random — anyone else think Katie Holmes is sort of an odd choice for Ann Taylor’s new “face”? Not like other celebrity “faces of” necessarily make sense, but this one strikes me as particularly odd. Fair or not, she doesn’t scream “smart, independent woman” to me. Am I off?

    • PC

      I agree, but she seems to always be in celebrity news for her style and she’s kind of got that wasp-ish look going for her

    • Lorraine

      She was smart enough to nail Tom Cruz, which means she does not have to go to work tomorrow morning, or any time again, if she does not want to. I’d say that was a pretty good move. She’s doing the Ann Taylor thing to keep herself in the news, but since Tom is worth a few hundred million dollars, she really doesn’t need to be independent. And she did bring forth Suri, which is more than a lot of other women have done.

  36. MJ

    Kat – A big thank you to not having to click through so many screens. Engagement is up even if your pageviews are down…thank you thank you!

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