Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Windowpane Open Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I really like the look of this open-front cardigan from Brooks Brothers. I think the lack of buttons makes it lay nicely, and the contrasting white interior provides a little something extra.
I would wear this with my typical winter uniform of a black sweater tee and black trousers. Maybe I could consider adding a little color once the sun stops setting before 5 p.m.
The sweater is on sale for $142.80 (marked down from $238) at Brooks Brothers and comes in sizes XXS-XL.
It's in a different style, but this windowpane cardigan from By Design is available in sizes 1X-3X for $39.97 at Nordstrom Rack.
Looking for more cardigans for your wardrobe?
Some of our favorite classic cardigans for the office as of 2025 include those below. Check Talbots and J.Crew Factory if you're looking for plus sizes, and Quince if you're on a budget. Veronica Beard and Brooks Brothers both keep a bunch of options in stock. Two other reader favorites: Reformation and Sézane. Also see our roundup of trendy lady sweater jackets!
Sales of note for 1/15:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 70% off
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your purchase, including new arrivals + extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off + extra 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance, already up to 60% off
- Express – 30-70% off all sweaters
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off peak-winter styles + up to 70% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything + extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Winter sale, up to 50% off — reader favorites include this laptop tote, this backpack, and this crossbody
- M.M.LaFleur – Extra 25% off sale with code + try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 70% off select sale styles
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale! 50% off + extra 25% off all markdowns + Red Door Deals $24.50+
Hi, I’m looking for an engagement ring and ideally in the DC area. I know there are beautiful options online but I’m afraid to buy without seeing in person. My thoughts are for a Lab grown champagne/yellow diamond more on the whimsy side so any jewelers in the DMV area would be appreciated. Example below; or if people bought online any advice?
example of styles I like https://oorejewelry.com/collections/ready-to-ship/products/ready-to-ship-size-11-14k-rose-briar-rose-three-stone
Think hard about your daily life wearing a ring. I think that one you posted is beautiful, but in my life, it would catch on everything. YMMV and congratulations!
Check out the engagementrings subr-ddit. That ring is very pretty but not meant for daily wear. The band is too thin and all those nooks and crannies will trap gunk.
I highly recommend buying from a local jeweler who can give you practical advice. You’ll also have the option of trying different cuts, sizes, and settings. You may be surprised by what you like on your hand! Local jewelers rarely charge sticker price so don’t be put off if the tag says it’s more expensive than online shops.
Not exactly your aesthetic, but check out the Roslyn collection at Tiny Jewel Box. That’s as close to a romantic recommendation as I can come up with for DC, which leans more classic.
Concur that the ring shown would be a bear to keep clean. Also seems like it would snag on things frequently.
It has so many prongs. . .
Are you open to working with a jeweler to design one? If so, cannot recommend Kauffman Jewelers enough.
Highly recommend going to a few places in person – it will help you refine your thinking about what you want, even if you end up buying online. My ideal ring looked weird on my finger when I tried it on for the first time; I ended up with a different style that was just right but pretty unexpected for me.
I am in the minority but did not have a good experience at TJB. I did have a good experience at Charleston Alexander. I ended up buying from Liljenquist and Beckstead in Tysons (not the mall location). For whimsy, check out Dejan Jovanovic in the Torpedo Art Factory.
Concur with this. And while this might sound silly, I suggest wearing a fuzzy sweater when you go so you can experience the snag potential IRL.
Ditto that the ring I ended up with was not what I expected. I didn’t love the way the ones I loved online looked on my hand, but one I never, ever would have picked out online flattered my hand IRL. So important to go try on, for shapes if nothing else!
totally agree. what i thought i wanted is not what i have and 15+ years later i still LOVE my engagement ring.
oh my gosh those are gorgeous. I’m surprised they sell them with the diamonds in them — I’ve looked at Brilliant Earth before and I think there’s a wide variety of diamonds with different clarities etc you can choose (and I would definitely recommend familiarizing yourself with the 4Cs in person!). she says she does work with diamonds that have been certified by the big places (in the FAQs) so you might be able to trust those diamonds with the clarities and so forth, but I’d ask to see the actual certification before purchasing…
agree with the others that a lot of these look snag-a-rific — ones like Aspen, Wisteria, Ember, Crown of Thorns will be less snaggy because of the smooth beveled edge.
looks like you can get custom options at Market Street Diamonds or Secrete in terms of local boutiques.
I’d avoid Brilliant Earth. They have a reputation for quality issues and horrible customer service
I loved trying on rings at Brilliant Earth – I wouldn’t buy from there but it was a great experience and overview of what different types of rings appealed to me in person.
Secrete is my go-to for jewelry, although my husband didn’t get my engagement ring there. The salespeople are very knowledgeable and helpful. I’d recommend trying on a bunch of different styles because you never know what you will like!
I got a really cool ring at Secrete in Dupont- I think they might have another location too. Lots of colored stones and vintage/estate stuff.
Can anyone post a gift link to the article in the Cut by Ashley Tisdale? Interested to read it and hear your thoughts about toxic mom groups. I am in a kind of similiar situation – basically peripheral friends with a couple moms until recently and now they outright shun me and my kids. We have one mutual friend caught in the middle.
I’d love that. I only keep toxic people in my orbit because of some common kid activity. It makes me glad I work because it’s a handy excuse to avoid things and gives me my own identity. I think that going nuclear and naming names always backfires though — I wonder how it will be for her going forward.
I don’t know the real story, but the part left out of the article seems to be that Ashley Tisdale’s MAGA support probably affected those friendships? Maybe someone else has more insight.
This. Apparently she and her kids also lived with Hillary Duff for a while so maybe something happened there?
I read an article that intimated that she and her family weren’t great houseguests during that time.
Yeah mighty convenient for her to not mention the political differences. I’ve dropped people like hot potatoes for having abhorrent morals too, I wonder if they go around calling me ‘toxic’.
100
That article feels like it left a lot out. it was basically just that people didn’t invite her to things which people are entitled to do.
And also that her kid was born in 2020 or early 2021 – like hitting the post-preschool / on to kindergarten transition. Sure it stinks that you don’t keep in touch with preschool friends the same way but aren’t there other parents at the next school and age-appropriate activities to bond with?
I have a subscription to NY Mag, and I don’t see a way to gift links
You can generally get a few free articles a month. Maybe try a different browser, OP?
Not sure how true, but I read that Hillary had one of the group stay at her home during the fires while Ashley was posting a ton about her new house and it was viewed as really insensitive at that time. My guess isn’t one big event but a ton of small things like the way most things end.
If you paste the link into archive.ph you should be able to get around the paywall
Try copying the link, even with subscriber box blocking, then going to archive.ph and pasting in there
You didn’t hear this from me. (Looks both ways, moving neck around like an owl) But pssst do you wanna buy a watch? (Opens trench coat to show mobile watch store hanging on the inside)
I’ve only read the Page Six and People articles about it but is it a total surprise to anyone that actresses and others living in LA are going to be vain, petty, or otherwise act like high schoolers? also i think that time of life when you have babies and toddlers is a big time for friendships to disintegrate either because they don’t have kids or they’re parenting differently — some people live or die by nap schedules, want to be home to tuck the kids in, etc.
I wore loafers in high school in the NEUS with socks or tights in the winter. Then I moved south for college and just wore them with bare feet. After years in heels or heeled boots, I went back and got a pair of kiltie loafers for the sake of my sore feet. But now socks with them don’t work (to my eye) other than no-shows. If you wear with socks, what sort of socks? With so many cropped pants, the socks are so visible but otherwise my ankles are cold.
funny you should mention. i live in NY and am wearing them today w a nude knee high. I agree they look weird with socks. maybe if you are young and adorable and highly fashionable they would look cute with statements socks (like the morgan on nobody wants this was wearing a pair with jean shorts and a pair of big 80s slouch socks) but for me that’s what i do and i therefore don’t wear them on very cold days
trouser socks – there can’t be a break between the sock and the pants. Sheer socks with Swiss dots work really well.
recommendations for where to get a high pair of sheer-with-swiss-dots? I can only find low crew versions, and then I get a gap between the sock and my pants when I sit.
Wolford has a pair I just picked up from Nordstrom. Pricey but very nice.
Do you have a good source for these? I’ve been disappointed by my findings in department store hosiery departments.
This
Maybe sheer socks like these? https://bombas.com/products/womens-sheer-quarter-sock-3-pack
I also wear loafers either barefoot or with nude knee highs. I haven’t found any trousers socks that are both thin enough to not alter the fit of the shoe, and tall enough to be true knee highs rather than calf tourniquets.
These are knee high length, thin, stretchy and comfortable. I’ve bought and rebought these because they’ve worked well for me. Search the River store for ‘Differenttouch Ladies 12 pairs multi-color pack opaque trouser knee high socks’. (I don’t love all the colors, but for $20+, it’s well worth buying the pack for me). YMMV.
I sometimes wear nude fishnet knee highs with mine. Calzedonia has a lot of interesting options
Has anyone used Curology for acne? My 16-yo son is finally showing an interest in doing something about his acne but would respond better to products showing up in the mail than to having to go to the dr and then get an rx, etc. TIA!
Curology worked well for me for years but I did find it a bit pricey for what it is. If he hasn’t yet, I’d start with a good cleanser, stridex pads or differin gel to start along with pimple patches. The cleanser (cetaphil for us), stridex pads, and pimple patches have taken care of 90% of the issues for my teen boys.
my 16 year old son has been seen by a dermatologist who recommends this:
https://www.amazon.com/AcneFree-Oil-Free-Cleanser-Peroxide-Breakouts/dp/B00BEUB15S/ref=sr_1_33?crid=1EJQ1Q7HSNLZP&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-dSEmqa6okmoT280atAwiDiC6QwAhn7uwCcHC2p0ifeCsTW1e1I1pwg-fFoq8lnsjN-DwastAEEXtQA-n42tAf2Qg6Txp3wKboxXqWGOIu4bbVbM53k9fahJV2yiZWF90_OA3STsmdpUlTIIILRJYpniH5nL0I_h6u26zdyKiull5IaS_drDEQXGMvsHZHwkrGtQ9T7GMRPcbwOLHTOffCORjOMznbkfrBvfrOoLRhHASbh3ZLmNtlEbWN0r_kNQgcnz1umNp9FcOFw5XfWy4XH9kdoFYw0QhjkZO2h4QsM.nrSvIsBxFCFsd8u8romsYgR-z5ayFC4WkMcxQtAtiVQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=acne%2Bwash&qid=1767708907&sprefix=acne%2Bwash%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-33&th=1
and also this for spots:
https://www.cvs.com/shop/la-roche-posay-effaclar-adapalene-gel-0-1-topical-retinoid-acne-treatment-prodid-348025?skuId=348025&cgaa=QWxsb3dHb29nbGVUb0FjY2Vzc0NWU1BhZ2Vz&cid=ps_bea_ski_pla&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21158449916&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoOr4g433kQMV0Uf_AR3DEgHEEAQYASABEgKZpvD_BwE
+1 to an adapalene gel. There are plenty of generics out there with the same active ingredient.
this sounds cheesy but adapalene gel changed my life. I had spot acne for years and it wasn’t until my late 20s i tried this and i don’t get acne anymore. it wasn’t bad enough for accutane but this cured it.
It’s fine for topicals. I’m not sure if they ever started offering much in the way of pills (e.g. pantothenic acid), and I assume they’d be overpriced if they did.
I didn’t like that they only offered combo products when I did it—I could not get a single active ingredient prescribed.
For a kid especially, I’d go the doctor route, especially if your pediatrician’s office offers video visits for this kind of thing. A pediatrician should be able to prescribe first line anti-acne topicals.
FWIW, you’re probably talking one derm appointment and being prescribed medication that has greater chance of being something covered by insurance. Might even be able to do as a virtual appointment.
Look at Redboxrx.com. The first time is a virtual telehealth appointment, you complete a form and the doctor asks some questions. I don’t think they used video. Then they mail the prescribed products and you get two refills, you select the timing. The prescription is shipped by the pharmacy of a major Midwest supermarket chain, Hyvee.
The pricing is reasonable (I could probably hunt down something cheaper but it’s not worth the time.) I’ve been getting Retin-A this way for two years and am super happy with it.
I need a kickassssss outfit for a commercial real estate/finance-esque conference in Vegas later this month. I’ve been before but this is the first time attending in my new role (MD at a major investment firm) and after completing a 90 lb weight loss. HELP!
My closet is mostly mall brands that have served me well (a ton of JCrew) as I’ve worked through the weight loss and I’m slowly starting to fill it with some higher quality pieces as my weight and size is stabilizing. But I do not have what I need for the main day of this conference, which starts at 8am and rolls through dinner and several evening parties/events.
The men are in finance bro attire – suits sans ties for the most part. The (relatively few) senior women are somewhere between mall brands and a fashion show of recognizable brands – Louboutin, Chanel bags, you name it. I don’t have any of those, nor is that what I’m looking for now or ever (hate logos..). However I do need to be very polished and feel very put together, and yet also not stuffy. Meaning, if I wear a jacket it needs to be a statement piece vs a suit separate piece, but women definitely do not need to wear jackets as long as the rest of the outfit is tight.
SO. Please help. I do have a rent the runway order en route but I need to hedge and order a lot in hopes of nailing one, maybe two, outfits. I could see doing a dress, or an interesting midi skirt, or even a wide leg trouser with a shirt and cropped jacket maybe??? I’m sort of thinking Olivia Pope but make it 2026… WWYD?
About me: 5’7”, size 8-10 pant (have some excess skin from the loss and 2 pregnancies/1 c section), M top. 40 years old. Send all the ideas – I’m desperate!
Veronica Beard.
Good suggestion! The pink Ryland blazer is on RTR. I have that blazer and it is amazing.
Personally, I would wear that with a pair of black trousers and either a very sharp pair of black loafers or (and hear me out here) a very cool pair of fashion sneakers. That is not something I would’ve ever done in my 20s or 30s, but with an otherwise conservative outfit those sometimes play really well, especially for a long conference day. Something like my black and white Mexico 66s. That said I stand by the suggestion to pick shoes first and build from there. If you are hobbling by 5, that is all anyone will remember.
+1 yessssss to the hobbling.
oooh, I love that blazer. I would never pick it for myself but also… that’s the whole point of this post!
Ok – if I use this for one outfit, you’re suggesting black wide leg pants (which I own)… what goes under the blazer??
I feel like Carolina Herrera is right: white blouse or something that harmonizes the outfit.
Assuming I am not planning on taking the blazer off, either a black, grey or white scoop neck sweater or (nice) t-shirt. If I think I might take off the blazer, definitely the sweater, tucked in and with a belt.
The blazer has pink and silver buttons so keep that in mind for accessories. I do not usually wear silver jewelry, so I wear it with pearl studs.
I needed a similar wardrobe for a conference and bought a mix of Veronica Beard and Vince.
Vegas will be cold next month. Do you have a warm (outside) coat? RTR is good for that but don’t make the mistake of thinking the desert will be warm at night.
I would start with what shoes you were planning on wearing and go from there. Personally, I would not be able to wear any kind of real heel for that long day. If you let us know what kind of shoe you might be wearing, it would be helpful in putting together outfit ideas. Some of what comes immediately to mind will not work with flats.
The shoes are such an issue – you are correct. I’m thinking of purchasing a low block heel and stashing some flats in my bag. I think the low block may give me the best of both worlds. I also have some blondo booties that I can wear all day but those would only work with a wide leg pant. So, I guess I’m open book but you are correct – this is not a stiletto event.
Also, I won’t be going outdoors for any event except for a quick morning scurry from one hotel to the other only one time the whole conference (they’re side by side – I’ve been before to this conf in Jan and it’ll be fine). If I have a jacket as part of my outfit, that’s probably the best case to address this. Otherwise I’ll just bring a sweater/shawl thing to wrap my shoulders as I move between the hotels for that very brief period.
Anything like the Ferragamo Vara or Varina will be in good company with other senior women. Vara may be more versatile with dresses.
I am hunting high and low. Similar needs and size flux. It is so hard! I feel that the J Crew lady jackets can still be of use and look sharp during travel. Sometimes a dress or piece from Frances Valentine, Akris Punto, Buru or (of all places) Mango. But I’m always looking. I have spun through my local NM for inspiration and follow what the queens of Spain and Belgium wear (Maxima from The Netherlands is fantastic but not my work vibe; the others are even though they are shaped differently). I don’t even have good fashion role models. Get good shoes you can wear all day and walk in. Accessories are almost easier.
SFIG? I will be there.
NMHC
The Fold
belleville top always looks polished and fabulous i think.
This is always my answer. It looks so sharp and polished and it always elicits endless compliments.
what shoes are you wearing? if you can’t do heels all day (which, fair!) i would cross out dresses and skirts. i know flats are much more common these days but it just never ever looks tight or polished to me.
what body shape do you have now? can you do some dramatic wide leg pants or is that not something you’re comfortable with?
I’m 5’7” so wide leg pants work well on me. I’m a rough pear shape given I carry a lot of “fluff” and extra skin from my lower abdomen down… think bikini line and lower. Unfortunate side effect of the pregnancies, c section and weight loss (but I’ll take this all day long as a trade off…). But I’m also pretty proportionate. The only think that’s a true no-go is super fitted in the mid section/hips because of this, which I can pretty easily avoid with work attire.
Post your city (or closest city) for recs on the local rich lady, quasi department store that will have a good selections of brands in one location. Veronica Beard, Vince, L’ Argence, Tanya Taylor, Cinq A Sept are probably the brands you are looking for. For Houston, I would go to Elizabeth Anthony or Tootsies and be clear with your budget.
Boston!
I’d 100% got to Saks/Neiman Marcus and the stand alone shops on Newbury (Vince, etc.).
Lafayette 148?
I’d go to Nordstroms/Saks + ask for help.
No matter what you get, leave time+ budget for tailoring!!!
Congrats on the weight loss! I’ll be at NMHC and have gone for the past few years it’s been in Vegas. I’m not quite as senior as you, but this is totally the vibe I try to channel for my outfits at this conference and I also hate logos and all that.
Last year I wore Aquatalia block heeled booties with a wide legged black jumpsuit (Julia Jordan brand) and a fun cropped blazer over it and I felt great and was comfortable. Maybe something like this with a blazer from VB or L’Agence.
I also think the dress/skirt with high boots will be popular this year (if you have high boots comfortable enough for the whole day) or even booties with tights and a fun dress. People may say this look isn’t super current, but it’s Vegas so threading the needle between professional, fun and not stuffy is tough and I find sometimes a dress does it best. I have the Black Halo Kensington dress in a tweed with a bit of sparkle in the threads and am considering it for the conference this year.
Very cool there will be another ‘retter there!
The jumpsuit idea is an interesting one, especially for day to night. SPANX (of all brands) has one that’s kind of mock necked that could pair nicely with a blazer during the day. I think I have 8 calendar invites for various parties at the Sphere to straight nightclubs on Tuesday night. That’s the day I’m really trying to solve for…
I had what I’m pretty sure is a panic attack on Sunday, went to the ER to make sure it wasn’t a heart issue and got cleared. How do I prevent another one? I don’t have any particular anxiety or stress at the moment, other than the usual stuff (2 young kids, political job), so I don’t know that talk therapy would be helpful. I’m planning to see primary care next week. Thanks!
Meditate. I have been listening to a sound bath meditation on Insight Timer before bed each night and I no longer live in a state of constant anxiety. I also sleep much better. Now I actually look forward to bed each night so I can listen to my sound bath meditation.
There are some other medical things that can mimic panic attack (hypoglycemia can, presyncope can), so the primary care visit is a good idea. It isn’t always something serious either; sometimes really simple things can help if relevant (e.g. a calming magnesium supplement or a simple diet change).
No “particular stress or anxiety” and “2 young kids, political job” are not the same thing.
Lots of self care things are helpful I’m sure but you could also consider an SSRI. Life changing for me in my early 60s after decades of handing kids and a big job, telling myself I could manage if I just “worked harder” or “did something” to prevent my panic/anxiety attacks. My siblings found the same thing (I expect there are some genetics involved). Absolutely no regrets except not trying it sooner.
yeah it sounds like OP is falling into the all too common trap of “other people have real problems, I should be able to cope with my situation”. My friend was just telling me about how she felt like she was taking treatment capacity away from people who ‘actually’ need it. It’s okay, you deserve to be healthy!
Maybe, but sometimes it’s fair to observe that stressors are not high compared to our baseline and aren’t likely to be an adequate explanation? Assuming that symptoms are psychogenic can really delay accurate diagnosis, especially if they have us try six different psych meds sequentially before they rethink that assumption.
Oh gosh, the same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago! It happened for no reason that I can think of, I was just in the carpool line and had finished up a call for work. It got worse when I was driving home with my kid and I had to pull over and call an ambulance! So just some commiseration. Because it came out of nowhere, I am now a little paranoid about it happening again.
No one mentioned it yet, but check your caffeine intake. If you’re like me, my usual food and beverage routine is fairly off the rails be the end of the holiday season. For me, that’s a lot more coffee than usual.
Bloodwork to check for b12 and other levels for sure.
Could be lifestyle issues (caffeine, even things like aspartame), could be general perimenopause if that is in your wheelhouse, could be totally random and a one off. Could be a post covid or post viral infection issue that will soon resolve.
For anxiety things like hard workouts and physical exercise are as important as mediation and cultivating calmness. Is that a regular part of your life?
I’m sorry- you’ll find a solution!
Bizarrely, the same thing happened to me about a month ago! Went to the ER to make sure it wasn’t a silent heart attack. Turns out it was some kind of randomly triggered hypoglycemia/metabolic imbalance. It resolved after I’d had some IV liquids and something to eat (and remained normal at PCP follow up) but I agree it’s a bit freaky to think it could happen again. I have been trying to reprioritize sleep, nourishing food and judicious use of supplements (vitamin B, magnesium) to help my body get back on track.
I am kind of surprised that no one has suggested seeing a psychiatrist. A medical doctor that treats panic attacks, and who can help determine what is going on with you and the best approach. I do agree that the first step is seeing your primary care doctor, to make sure everything else is
Panic attacks are a big deal. This is not a self care situation for the vast majority of people. You need a little help here. What if it happened when you were driving with the kids in the car?
Meanwhile, look in to some really basic but effective techniques of what to do in the moment if you feel that your heart is racing, and you may be spiraling towards another event. Box breathing, and 54321 grounding are two basic and effective approaches that are easy to learn and do in the moment.
I honestly felt like psychiatry’s toolbox was kind of limited both in terms of workup and meds, but it’s an option. Benzos as rescue meds are not the worst thing until they can figure out why this suddenly started.
So, the trick about panic attacks is that the more you fear them coming back, the more likely they are to come back. If this is a feature of your biology that you’ve just discovered, I would suggest getting yourself comfortable with the idea that they can come back and they won’t harm you, as quickly as possible. you want exposure and acceptance, not avoidance and fear. Check out Claire Weekes’ work, and do the things others have mentioned about optimizing self-care for low caffeine, lots of sleep, keeping your blood sugar steady, etc. but don’t fear the panic attack – it’s just an overwhelming signal that will pass about 15 minutes after it starts. Not something to be afraid of.
Talking to your doctor is great, and I don’t have any other suggestions. But I do want to commend you for going to the ER if you suspected a heart issue. We are often quick to downplay if it turns out to be nothing but you don’t want to downplay something if it’s real, so good job for listening to your body and getting it checked out. We lost a close friend because he brushed off heart attack symptoms as indigestion and didn’t want to disrupt his meeting-heavy day. By the time he sought help, it was too late.
+1
I’m so sorry you lost your friend this way. Thank you for the encouragement to play it safe with these kinds of symptoms.
Go to the sort of therapy that teaches you how to handle stress without therapy, not the sort that implies therapy is something you’ll always need to handle stress.
You had what appears to be your first panic attack this past Sunday? As in: the day before return to work after what is generally either time off or the holiday lull? If I were OP, I would mull on the timing a bit to see if perhaps my job or work/home balance is higher than I generally acknowledge to myself.
Daily guided meditation, I use the Calm app. Sleep. And don’t discount talk therapy, as it really helped me set boundaries. Good luck OP
I started using a sulfur acne spit treatment and I hate to say that it works really well. I don’t understand why sulfur has this quality at all and would be curious to know more of the actual science here. But I’d also love something less smelly since my acne is mainly in my face and in the T zone, so the nose knows. But it works so well and is so cheap maybe I can forgive it?
Just forgive sulfur, but you could move from a spot treatment to something like a cleanser if you want to wash away the smell.
That is a long day. Choose your comfy styling shoe and design the outfit around that
Which sulfur treatment are you using? Does it work on “blind” pimples – those under the skin painful lumps that never come to a head? I was just reading about using sulfur on those stubborn spots and I’m intrigued.
I’ve been using the Mario Badescu drying lotion for ages. It works really well once the pimple has opened a bit, but it’s less effective on blind pimples.
De La Cruz tube of sulfur spot treatment. I put in on known angries. IDK how it would do in other spots but it is the only thing I’ve ever tried that works well and fast.
How long are you leaving it on? Even on my angriest spots, leaving it on for 10 minutes before washing it off is sufficient. The scent isn’t great but for 10 minutes it’s fine.
OP on this — maybe I didn’t read that far but I rubbed it in and left it at that. Will put my readers on and look more closely when I get home. My skin is fine for my negligence (better than it was actually) At least.
I think it’s the drying quality, whatever it is. I remember Fresh had a mask that was good for the whole face and also as a spot treatment and it wasn’t too bad, scent wise. Maybe try that to see if it’s better for you?
Alas, my hair is thinning. I think from a combination of medication side effects and perimenopause. I’m looking at Nutrafol – any success stories or warnings to share? I’ve tried straight biotin for the last 3 months and haven’t really noticed a difference. Other recs welcomed, too. My hair is long so it’s not particularly obvious yet but my ponytail is much much narrower than it used to be.
Before trying other supplements, I’d want to talk to my doctor. Thinning hair can be low iron or zinc, but those aren’t things I would take without prior deficiency testing for example (and Nutrafol has a lot of zinc).
And make sure they test the full iron panel + ferritin. Low ferritin can cause hair loss way before you’re officially anemic.
+1
Yes – you need a ferritin > 70. Most doctors do not know this. That is why ideally it helps to see a dermatologist who specializes in hair.
Definitely talk to doctor. Prenatal vitamins help for strong hair and nails, but might promote hair growth where you don’t want it (facial hair). Also rogaine for men or women is the same ingredient and available OTC.
i’m 50 years old and never had great hair. have been on minoxidil for about 9 months and it’s never looked better. i do the pill (with no side effects) because the topical is toxic to cats which i have. highly recommend.
+1. LOVE it. I am on 1/4 pill and have a ton of baby hair. Part is much thinner and doc is really happy with my progress. Once it grows out to be the same length as the rest of my hair my ponytail will also be thicker.
Seconding props for minoxidil. I lost a ton of hair from stress and long-covid, and met with a hair loss specialist at the one the big academic hospitals in my city. I went into the conversation thinking she would prescribe some intense regimen and instead, walked out with a recommendation that I increase my iron intake, and start topical minoxidil. A few years later, and my hair has never looked better, and my bald spots have recovered. If you do go the minoxidil route, don’t fall victim to the stupid pink tax that markets some minoxidil as for women-only (or suggests women cannot use the higher dosage). I buy the Kirkland brand in bulk from Costco.
At age 42, i had a lot of hair loss and it turned it out it was due to severely low Vitamin D.
when you’re dining with others at a restaurant, how much criticism or praise do you expect to hear about the food? my family tends to be critics and it annoys the bejesus out of me, but i found myself doing it when my husband and i went out to dinner at a new place also. trying to figure out if it’s just par for the course and i’m just randomly annoyed at my parents and sibling.
I think both are boring, but criticism seems actually a bit rude to me, unless it’s more of a “well won’t be going back to this place” conclusion afterwards. On the other hand I’ve found that people who have worked in the industry have a tendency to assess (more harshly than I would!), I suppose as an occupational hazard.
hi sister! Glad to see someone else from my family here… every time i take my Dad or younger sister to a restaurant, OMG IT IS LIKE THEY ARE ON SOME F’ING FOOD SHOW as a judge or something and it irritates the bejesus out of me too…. no wisdom but I empathize strongly! My sister who is much less travelled than i am but part of a cook book club also considers herself some kind of a food expert (no eating out constantly doesnt make you a f’ing expert on every cuisine) and it is insufferable…
I guess it makes you some kind of expert on eating out?
I have never worked in hospitality of any kind, so my amateurish perspective is that a lot of things are matters of taste, and what I dislike is exactly what someone else likes about the same dish. But I realize that would not be a helpful perspective for the chef!
I feel like praise for the food at a restaurant is also praise for the person who chose the restaurant.
I don’t feel like food criticism at a restaurant is veiled at the restaurant-selector; it’s definitely for the restaurant staff and just discussed among the people at the table as a topic out of convenience and politeness.
are they rude to the staff or just talking amongst yourself? my boyfriend and i love to eat out and try new places and talk in great detail about what we are eating and whether we’d return. you might find us annoying too, or as suggested, maybe you find your family annoying for other reasons. I think talking about the food at a restaurant is a reasonably low stakes thing to talk about with your companions…..
I think it depends why you’re going out to eat. If you’re there just to enjoy the meal, I can see why this is annoying. If you’re there because you like to try new foods and compare different preparations, then analyzing them is a big part of the fun!
The point of dining out is to eat a meal without cooking or cleaning. Other than “Wow, this entree is great” I don’t want to listen to a detailed analysis of the food. If you’re dissecting the components of a dish you’re inherently hunting for things to complain about.
It depends on the type of restaurant. When I go to the corner bar and grill then yes I’m just trying to avoid cooking and cleaning. When I go to a nice restaurant I’m there for a culinary experience so of course I’m going to consider what I’m eating. If I enjoy it I will try to identify what I enjoy about it. Of course that’s not the entire conversation, but I’m definitely thinking about the food and if it’s just me and my spouse we will be discussing the components of the dish at some point.
Do you people just not like to eat?
I posted a lot of thoughts below as someone who can both-sides this one, but I disagree that if you’re dissecting the components of a dish, that you’re looking for reasons to complain. Maybe you are! But maybe you want to learn what makes one dish exceptional, or why two flavors work together even though you never would have thought to pair them yourself, or you’ve never been to a Gujarati restaurant and you want to learn how its culinary tradition and flavors are similar to and different from the “normal” Indian restaurants you usually go to.
That’s not why I go out to eat. If I want to avoid cooking or cleaning, I can have a bowl of cereal or heat up something frozen in the microwave. If I’m going to pay the price of a decent restaurant meal these days, it’s because I want to taste something new and interesting. Thinking about what I’m eating and how it’s different from what I normally eat is part of what I’m paying for.
I eat out typically because I want something better than I can cook myself. I like assessing the ingredients and techniques and how things come together. If I don’t want to cook I’ll eat some instant ramen with veggies.
Talking about what you like and don’t like is different, in my mind, from being a chronic critic as a way of life. I’ve had to work really hard to stem a constant inner flow of critique about all sorts of things. So I’d be really struggling if I were eating with your family, because it’s a way of thinking that I’m working on moving away from so that my inner flow of thought is something other than me being a critic about life. But if your family are foodies, and love discussing food, that might be different than if the whole family is merely used to airing Opinions and nobody else does anything right.
With my spouse? If there is something remarkable about the food we will comment quietly to each other while at our table, but not loud enough for others to hear us. If it’s truly awful (I was served undercooked poultry recently) we will politely mention it to our server.
We will probably spend a few minutes lambasting anything particularly egregious with each other in private once we leave, but we like to think of ourselves as having enough interesting things to talk about that we don’t spend an entire meal out just criticizing the meal.
This is just conversation for DH and me. We both like to cook (and to eat!). We’ll get ideas for things to do or avoid. “What is that flavor? Rosemary? Huh, I wouldn’t have thought to put it on fish, let’s try it next time.” Or the opposite – “oh I don’t think that goes at all, your salmon is so much better!”
I think it’s also an easy topic of conversation for people who don’t know what to say to each other. Which in fairness, is also us sometimes.
My mom is really serious about food and has an outstanding palate, so whenever I go out with her, I know we’re going to be dissecting things. In some ways I enjoy it–I’ve learned so much by eating great food with her while she analyzes it. Like she’ll say to the waiter, “This is outstanding, is the warming flavor from nutmeg?”, the waiter will say “I don’t think so but I’ll check with the chef,” and then inevitably come back like “The chef confirmed it’s nutmeg.” She’s had some really lovely interactions with wait staff and chefs because she is 100% someone who takes what they do seriously, and can have conversations about food and wine at a level that’s head and shoulders above your average patron (IMO).
However, there’s a flip side. Sometimes I just really want to enjoy a nice birthday dinner out without having to hear about how the skin on her duck breast wasn’t seared to her standard of crispness, or that a roasted vegetable vs. a steamed would have elevated the plate more, or that her cocktail is 2% too sweet.
For myself, I do like to analyze food. I’m not my mom, but I love to try new flavors and learn what makes them good, and it’s hard to do that without some level of criticism. I try to be mindful of my audience and the occasion, though–obviously with my mom I’ll go full scale; with my husband I’ll do a medium level, unless I know it’s a restaurant he really loves or an experience that I know he put a lot of thought into planning; and if I’m out with friends or my husband’s family, I will only share complimentary thoughts unless there’s something so egregious I’m sending it back (has happened like 2-3 times in my life).
I’ve obviously thought about this one a lot lol
I’m of two minds on your examples – I really love when people are passionate about something but I also don’t want to go to a meal with someone who interrupts the waiter with a question about nutmeg, you know?
Oh I’m of two minds, too, believe me. But the nutmeg example was when the waiter came back for the standard check on how our food had come out, she didn’t flag him down.
A typical meal out with family, not much beyond asking everyone at the table how their food is. When my husband and I go to Michelin tasting menu-type places we break down the courses in more detail, but I feel like that’s half of the fun of going to those super pretentious and expensive places.
This is probably a helpful distinction. If it’s the kind of restaurant whose menu is getting magazine reviews already, that does feel different to me since it feels like they’re courting that kind of attention!
If it’s the kind of place that exists more just to feed people, especially if there’s a strong sense of hospitality, then all I want to say is thank you.
I find this type of behavior both annoying and exhausting. Unless you’re with others who want to discuss food in that level of detail, it is so grating. Just STFU and enjoy your dinner!
I’m used to hearing people talk about how good the food is for the most part. In general, my family doesn’t criticize the food, and will only complain if something is really bad, or in some cases, not worth the price we’re paying. Things like food being undercooked or oversalted to the point of being inedible, or close to it. If most people at the table are nitpicking the dishes they ordered, I think that would put a damper on the occasion.
If you’re talking about the food, you must find the company boring.
ohh I feel ya. If it’s at a really expensive/bougie place, yes I’m onboard with dissecting the food a bit. However at a ‘normal’ restaurant, this bugs me so much too! My ex’s mom (who I otherwise liked) did this all the time and for super nitpicky things. She was still enjoying the experience but it made me hate it! that said, I’m someone who’s not going to send a dish back outside of like dangerously undercooked / foreign object / allergen not removed as asked. Generally I’ve had to actively train myself to not be a critical person as default — now it bugs me even more when others do it.
Looking for a recommendation in NYC or Philly for an incredibly tiny amount of lip filler.
Mid 40s, done with the baby years and want to make 206 the year of my glow up
Perhaps you already have and thus will be annoyed by this recommendation, but if you’re looking for something that small, have you examined all the plumping lip glosses, etc? Some pack a punch! They might meet your needs without an intervention.
Any specific recommendations?
I need some levity after a difficult Monday: what are your stop and smell the roses moments? Mundane things that you see as exceptional?
One of mine is watching people with long arms reach things. I have baby T-Rex arms. Passing the salt at dinner is a production for me: check to make sure no one is behind me, push chair out, hold onto napkin, stand up, round my back and hold onto shirt so it doesn’t drape into my food, get on my tippy toes to reach over the water/wine glasses and streeeettttchhhh from my spine all the way to my fingertips to reach the salt that’s an entire 18” away from me. It’s basically a whole workout. But some people can just… reach out and the salt is in their hand! Sorcery! I love watching it, it’s basically a magic trick every time!
Wow. My wingspan is wider than I am tall. Now I feel good about that. Thank you!
Ape index! My husband talks about it a lot. It’s apparently really important for a lot of sports. I have small arms relative to my height but I’m almost 6′, so my arms are normal length.
as another long armed person, I’m delighted someone is getting joy from it! lol
I’ve definitely had this thought before as a fellow t-rex. I even have a memory of my future DH reaching for something for me!
I have a LOT of trouble telling my right from my left. It’s amazing to me that people can listen to an instruction like, “pull the lever on the left side of the box” and immediately do it.
Also probably more in the “exceptional as exceptional” bucket, but I love watching ballet dancers get an almost incomprehensible set of instructions from a choreographer and then produce the most beautiful set of steps in response.
Do you know the make L’s with your hands trick? The one that’s actually an L is your left. I do it a lot because I also have trouble and this shortcuts it.
Yes, I do that a lot too. Also driving helps because making left turns is really different than making right turns.
Ha! I am the opposite: I know which is my left hand and which is my right. I will subtly make an L with my left hand when I need to hand letter something so I can remember which direction the foot points.
That’s a good one!
I “joke” that the reason I find it easy to drive on the other side of the road (i.e., in the UK) is because I don’t know my right from my left anyway — but I think that really is the reason!
I think my baby kissed my cheek for the first time this morning in the dark. It was special to feel it and not see it. I could tell he was smiling.
Awww, this is wonderful!
Aw!
I’ve been told how weird this is, but I love watching tech updates happen, like not in a “watching paint dry” type of watching but I like to see the percentages go up, its so satisfying!
My houseplants. Maybe it’s because I’m just now starting to have success with plants, but basically I marvel at any new growth and congratulate them. I got grow lights a few months ago and I’m amazed that they’re growing better – like, duh, but still – it worked! Plants live and thrive under the right conditions! (Me: looks outside and sees tons of plants thriving everywhere yet acts like this is a fresh breakthrough, as if cold fusion was achieved.) How do they sense where to grow? Trailing vines sense surfaces and put out roots. How? If they’re trimmed, they know to put out new shoots! Amazing! What a mystery. I wonder how they make these “decisions.”
What do you do if you have someone in your family who has personal hardships, has been done wrong by an ex-spouse, has financial difficulties, but who wants to talk about it for long stretches of time (like an hour plus)? I’m not a therapist, but I understand that even a therapist sees people in only 45-minute blocks. The person has gone from wanting to be heard (so I will confess to multitasking at times as she talks and talks) to wanting you to express agreement to her views on how life has wronged her. I have tried to give her time, but she has started getting snippy when I truly have to go (I work, I have kids, I have a dog and sometimes call on walks, etc.). I feel that she needs a professional but understand that professions are both expensive and don’t work like she wants. Any advice on how to do anything but do a slow fade since when I do get a word in, she doesn’t want to hear me?
I think you can do one last gentle warning/conversation – ‘hey, I care about you but our conversations are feeling very one-sided lately. I’m always happy to hear about your life but I’d appreciate being able to talk about mine too.’ If she reacts super angrily to that then you have my permission to do a slow fade.
Can you give her a time limit ahead of time? I have a lot of trouble getting off the phone with someone like this. I always need to go at the worst possible moment in the story, then I feel like a jerk and they feel cut off. I’ve started to begin conversations with, “hey I’m taking a quick walk for a few minutes and wanted to check in!” Usually, they don’t get into a long story because they know they don’t have a lot of time. But if they do, they might feel just as put off when I end the call but at least I don’t feel like a jerk.
If you have a therapist they can probably advise on things you can say.
My feeling is that people who are stuck like this simply cannot stop themselves. So even if they get snippy, I either have to change the topic or get off the phone, because they won’t do either. I don’t know how close you are and whether you’re close enough to share observations (“you’ve said this before”). When I’ve tried this, eventually my relative started saying it herself “I know I’ve said this before, but…”) and actually became more self-aware and eventually we could work on changing the topic together successfully.
She’s probably snippy because she feels a sharp sense of shame like no one cares about her when you need to go. When I’m down about my life, my behavior can be self-centered like that, but it’s hard to pull my head up to realize I’m part of the problem in the dynamic in the moment. I would just gently and firmly tell her you have to go when you feel you need to. I would just be upfront that your life is busy and you care about her but have to be available to your kids, etc.
You are allowed not to take the call! I have a similar friend and if I am not in the headspace to stop at acknowledgement (“yeah, that is rough”) vs agreement (“yeah, you were done wrong”), then I do not engage.
Don’t answer.
Well, she’s your sister, so there it is. Try to imagine yourself in her shoes, which is hard for people to do.
Encourage her strongly to join a support group, ideally both in person and online so she has a lot of outlets. And yes – she needs a therapist. It is what it is.
“Gently? I need to stop ruminating on this with you. If there is something specific I can do to help you resolve this, let me know. In the meantime, what do you think of the new HIIT class?”