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Suit of the Week: Brooks Brothers

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Black model wears bright yellow pantsuit with matching top

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also: we just updated our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2025!

I am definitely a bit weird about yellow. I like it, in theory, but it has to be juuuuust the right shade for me to wear it — not too pale, not too orangey.

This suit, to my eyes, is an almost perfect shade of yellow — it's authoritatively yellow but in an almost soothing tone. It reminds me of sunshine on a spring day, and the first spring daffodils.

When I do find my shade, I love wearing yellow with white and gray. I think this is why I was surprised, at first, to see the gold sandals they've paired it with — but I think those work also. (But c'mon, silver would have been much better, right?)

The suiting is $228-$298, available in sizes 00-16, at Brooks Brothers. I think they've styled it with this washable silk camisole.

In 2025, you can find yellow suits from brands like Alexander McQueen, Milly, and Brooks Brothers. If you're on a budget, LeSuit has a yellow suits under $150 in regular, petite, and plus sizes.

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

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  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
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  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

176 Comments

    2. I saw a [tweet?] from Amanda Litman on Bluesky who argued that no one from that generation is going to get us out of this mess. I really agree with her… everyone who’s been in office for more than 10 years and/or is over 70 needs to gtfo of politics.

      2. I certainly don’t think a younger progressive is going to get us out of this mess either.

        1. We need a Gen X adult in charge here. We Gen Xers are the ones who got screwed over economically by having to pay both our own college tuition and our children’s. We are the ones saddled with elder care while simultaneously parenting teens under insane societal pressures. We are the ones who won’t get any social security benefits even though we’ve been paying into the system since we were teenagers. We know what’s really going on and what needs to be done about it.

    3. I’m Jewish and think this country is way too anti-semitic to elect a Jew. It really needs to be a hetero, Christian(ish), male, imo. The only wiggle room for diversity is on race – I don’t think being Black or Latino is necessarily worse than being white, but I can’t see a woman, gay man or religious minority being elected.

      With Rahm specifically there’s also the issue of being vocally pro-Israel, which is related to but distinct from the question of Jewishness. I think a governor who hasn’t been super vocal about Middle East policy is the best bet.

      2. Also a Jew. Totally agree that this country is not ready for anyone other than a light skinned, hetero Christian man. Don’t think Obama could get elected to the presidency today.

    4. I am quite intrigued. I wasn’t super familiar with him, but have heard him on several podcasts and he makes a lot of sense. At minimum, his involvement could help surface a more viable candidate than the horrible Democratic choices in the past three elections.

      1. It’s clear you aren’t super familiar with him; he’s entrenched in the same network that has brought us the horrible choices.

    6. They really really need to focus on getting a shadow cabinet set up to speak out regularly and specifically on Trump policies and focus on getting out the vote for midterms.

      And in 2028 they need to run two white guys. I hate that deeply in my soul but not more than I hate the idea of JD being President.

    8. My thought is that he’s better than Gavin and he won’t be so cautious in his speech. I think other viable candidates sound like they’re reading from talking points and don’t have an original point of view. I can’t be the only one who wants someone authentic. Very ready for someone capable to step up.

        1. I mean I hate to say it…but two women lost to Trump. Despite the faction that thinks Dems need to go more liberal, I think we need to go more moderate man because we can’t risk another loss

          1. I think both are true. Democrats have tried for a long time to run on being less bigoted than the other party while promoting the idea that a wildly unequal society is actually okay so long as every identity group is equally represented at every rung of the social ladder. People are likely to respond negatively to candidates who appear to reflect another attempt at identity politics at this point.

            But I don’t think that means they need to be Republican lite. They need to break with their donors and start promoting actually popular policy. Turns out America hates private, for profit insurance CEOs more than it likes politicians of either party: that’s a clue.

        2. I misread this and thought you meant Whitman, and I was like jeez, let’s just talk about Liz Cheney at this point

          but Whitmer – I like her a lot but I unfortunately agree with the others that it needs to be a white guy. (unfortunately x2, a straight white guy.)

        3. It kills me deep in my soul but I will never again support a woman in a democratic presidential primary. This country is grossly and deeply misogynistic, and clearly an alarming number of people would rather see our democracy crash and burn than let a girl be in charge.

          2. I loathe Kamala Harris, but it’s not because she’s a woman. I voted for her because I hate Trump more. Kamala Harris lost because fewer people voted for her. Maybe they weren’t misogynistic, but just thought she’d do a bad job? I don’t have to like her because she’s a woman.

          3. Agree Kamala was not a great candidate. Her being a woman is not the most relevant factor and absolutely should not prevent women candidates.

          4. When two smart, competent women have lost to the insane and hateful person that is Trump it’s hard to deny the common denominator of them being female. Once you can say the candidate was bad, but when it happens again there’s a clear pattern.

          5. Women candidates are not the problem. Lack of a message that resonates broadly from a speaker equipped to give it was the problem. Please don’t give into such simple thinking.

          6. When Kamala lost to chaos, it became clear this stupid society isn’t ready.

          7. To be fair, although HRC is smart and competent and would have made a great president, she was also a deeply flawed candidate with too much baggage.

      2. I’m no political junkie to be clear, but…. is there a reason it’s not Mark Kelly?

        2. It was such a mistake not to put him on the ticket for the election, as the presidential candidate. He has credibility, which is a massive differentiator.

          1. The man is an astronaut and knows how to get stuff done and how to keep his head in a crisis. I wanted him at the top of the ticket.

      3. Gavin and Rahm sound like typical politicians with a finger to the wind to me.

        I think it’s going to be hard to win voters by moving right; there are actual Republicans to vote for in national elections.

        1. Gavin Newsom just had STEVE BANNON on his podcast, so he may run as a Republican, who knows

          1. I like that he has the other side on his podcast! Not enough to listen to it, but I appreciate the concept.

      4. I am hoping that Spanberger takes the VA governor’s mansion and is then positioned to run for president in a few years.

  2. I’ve been living in a conservative suburb for a couple of years after moving from a more progressive city, and I’m really struggling to find people to connect with on shared interests—like hobbies, fashion, activism, and other fun or thought-provoking topics. Most of the folks I’ve met here are new parents completely focused on their kids, and that leaves very little room for the kinds of conversations I’m looking for. I’m someone who’s more liberal, independent, childfree, and activist-minded, so I’d love to meet others who share those values.

    I’ve thought about starting a book club, but no one in my current circle really seems interested, and I’m worried it might create awkwardness if I push it. Any suggestions on how to find like-minded people or create a group—without offending neighbors and acquaintances I’ve just gotten to know? Is there a better way to build a community or discover folks who want to talk about more than just toddler milestones? Any ideas are appreciated!

    1. Many libraries and bookstores run independent book clubs. That’s where I would start. You won’t even have to set it up – just attend.

      1. Agree. Start one at the public library and accept all commers. You need to look outside of your current group.

        Join your local League of Women Voters.

    2. My yoga studio has a book club and not everyone in it does yoga. I’ve met some great like-minded people of all ages there.

    3. Do you have crafty hobbies? The stitch and bitch groups in my city are overwhelmingly radical childfree women of all ages.

      2. I wish I was crafty! Guess I can be b*tch that doesn’t stitch or start a group called “snitch and b*tch” lol

        1. Are you willing to try to pick it up enough to make a scarf or some potholders? I am not crafty but I can manage that, and it would be worth it to me to gain access to the kind of community I want. Also, in my experience the women in those groups are pretty open to helping and welcoming newcomers.

    4. Are you married, with kids, looking for partners, etc? That might change my answer a bit.
      I’ve fortunately really lucked into an online collective of liberal ladies in my red town. When it’s election time, go to anything for the Dem candidates, and particularly pay attention to who is hosting meet-and-greets for them, in their living room. Another good idea: go to a town meeting and see what audience members are asking questions about and what their concerns are. You should be able to find people interested in walkability, transparency, the environment, equal rights, inclusivity – these are likely your people.
      If there’s a FB group for your suburb, look up older discussions to see if you recognize any names in the group. Again, walkability is a big one. If the group goes back a bit you can look to see the masking conversations, it was usually the liberals in favor of masking.

        1. just reread your thing, for some reason i initially thought you meant you wanted liberal friends in general, doh.

          finding friends in the suburbs is hard without kids. agree with the others – do a yoga class or look for hyperlocal volunteer opportunities, like organizing a once-yearly event or joining the beautification committee or something.

    5. A close friend of mine made friends in a conservative area by joining the local center for women and girls. She had young kids but wanted progressively minded non-mom friends. She’s since moved to another conservative area and is trying to meet like minded people at a Unitarian church.

    6. Are there any causes that you’d like to become involved with? Wildlife restoration, refugee resettlement, literacy, and so on? Your local library may need board members? You could also check to see if there are any Indivisible groups registered in your area.

    7. Is there a a local hiking or nature club? Also a liberal or liberal-ish church might be a way to find people (e.g., Episcopalians, ELCA Lutherans, U-Us, etc.)

    8. When I lived in a red state, my mother visited an art store. She didn’t find everything she was looking for, but the saleswoman offered both Walmart and an indie retailer as alternatives. So a progressive in search of making connections could pick up what she was putting down. In short, it helps to pay close attention to what people say that might indicate they have a progressive mindset without being overt.

  3. What’s the nicest guest bed that takes up the least amount of space? I recently moved to a studio apartment in Manhattan and will be hosting visiting friends and family from time to time, but as you might imagine there’s very little extra space. The most obvious answer is air mattress, but I’m wondering if there’s anything better out there. Things like those fold out ottomans, or cots, etc. Any ideas? Magical air mattresses that are actually good?

    1. I don’t know, but can you tell us more about moving to a studio apartment in Manhattan? I bet I am not the only one who dreams of doing this.

        1. Hello there, Mean Girl! There you are! Sorry, not in the position to ditch my kids and job and move to the Big Apple but maybe someday? Sorry I am curious!

          1. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but no, I haven’t made any of the other comments you think are mean today. This isn’t a fantasy life for most of us and it’s weird for it to be treated like that. Like most NYers I live in a studio because it’s the most I can afford.

          2. I too could do without the nasty comments, but the idea that people are renting studios as a rich person fantasy rather than as the only thing they can afford deserves some push back. How out of touch can you get?

          4. Calling people mean girl from the comfort of their middle class life is the thrill I think. It’s pretty obvious by the differing diction and grammar of the accused ‘Mean Girl’ that it’s actually many folks comments they take issue with.

      2. You “dream” of living in a studio apartment? That’s my daily existence and it’s nothing exciting…

          1. Whereas the reality is more like a hotel room with one wall being a kitchen, where you live full time.

      3. Step one for me was be in an unfulfilling yet financially responsible marriage for ten years lol. I always thought I would end up in the city but my ex was staunchly against it. We lived in a 2,500sq ft house on 3 acres with a pool and a big deck in a LCOL area and now I’m in a 400 sq ft studio on the upper east side. It’s not at all glamorous, but I love it and it feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be.

      4. I have a fascination with this as well and love watching studio tours on YouTube. That might scratch your itch.

    2. Hosting in a studio is bananas. I don’t think there’s a way to do this comfortably, unless you have one of those studios that have a bed nook.

      1. +1. With your other furnishings, will you even have the floor space for an air bed? My 1 bedroom NYC apartment does not.

    3. I’m sorry I don’t have a brand name, but I sleep on an inflatable mattress when visiting relatives and it’s really very comfortable. Maybe read some reviews? I think inflatable is the best option for a studio apartment.

      1. Even then they are quite big to store when you have limited closet space. I second not trying to host. At best, I’d get the biggest bed you can fit for yourself and consider sharing with say your mom or bestie.

    4. Either an inflatable mattress or look for a magical fold out couch that is somehow not horrible. I have never found one of the latter, but it’s been a long time since I’ve looked so perhaps things have changed. In your shoes, I would be inclined to look to save on storage space. A rolled up inflatable mattress will be about sleeping bag sized, which is nbd when you have a whole spare bedroom but might be a big deal in a studio.

      I used to have one of those folding futon-couch combos and it was terrible, do not recommend. It also looks very college/bachelor pad. The folding ottomans I’ve seen would not be big enough for an adult bed (as someone who tosses and turns a lot).

      1. Day beds look lovely as a couch alternative but they only work if OP is hosting single guests.

        1. My problem with day beds is they’re not a good primary sofa replacement. Presumably OP doesn’t have space for more than one couch, so this would be her everyday sofa. A twin mattress is way too wide/deep to be a sitting upright sipping wine over a cheeseboard with company/sharing a bowl of popcorn for movie night/making out with a new beau who you’re not sleeping with yet sofa. It’s a lounging sofa.

          You can get trundle beds, which are much less uncomfortable than a traditional fold out couch. That would give you 2 twin beds. I used to have one in my second bedroom/office and it was great for company.

          1. I’m totally a lounger, even for girls nights we have our feet up. Sitting ‘normally’ on a sofa in my own home seems so formal and foreign.

          2. If you have enough guests to be worried about where to sleep them, then you have enough guests to be worried about how to sit them. As someone who is in my early 50s and did a lot of sports, getting up from a couch these days is way different than my 20s and 30s. And don’t even ask me about my mom’s capabilities. A shrug saying you like to lounge isn’t going to cut it if you ever have a similar guest.

            For a studio arrangement, seating is going to be even more important than sleeping. I’d go for one of those fold-out ottomans, a decent recliner chair (though they are really ugly), or a traditional couch before using a daybed for major seating.

      2. Back in the 90s IKEA used to make a fold-out couch that was actually kind of great. It was all pieces of foam so pretty comfortable to sit on and to sleep on.

        Right now, I have a foam fold-up mattress that works as an extra bed but it might take up too much space in a studio.

        1. Yes! We had a 90s Ikea fold out sofa bed with proper springs etc, which was super comfy and didn’t look like a sofa bed when it was in its sofa shape. It was fairly expensive but literally still functional and comfy to this day. Maybe see if there are any second hand, and get refurbished?

    5. Intex makes decent air mattresses at reasonable prices that fold up into a bag. I slept on one just fine for several months. I wouldn’t want to have to store anything bigger.

    6. We have an EZBed from Grandin Road and it is very comfortable and works well. It has a built in pump for inflation and deflation so it’s super easy to set up. It’s also a regular bed height, which is nice when the visitors aren’t people who would be comfortable sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. You’d just need to look at the size it is when folded down and see if that works for you.

    8. If you need a couch for your place, then I can vouch for the Deco convertible sofa from Room and Board. I spent awhile looking for a comfortable convertible that would fit in our tiny office and this fit the bill. The bed is parallel, rather than perpendicular to the sofa, so it doesn’t intrude into our room as much. I’ve slept on it at least once or twice per week over the past two years since I’m a light sleeper and I find it very comfortable. Do NOT skip the optional foam topper!

    9. I have one to avoid – the Oxford platform sleeper from Room and Board. I regret buying it. The quality is poor for the price and it’s so damn firm that you can’t enjoy it as a regular couch.

    10. they make pull out (twin) beds to look like arm chairs. not sure if ikea has any but west elm and others have one.

    11. thanks y’all. Sounds like there isn’t some magical solution, though in my research I did find that bunk bed cots exist hahaha. To the people who said “don’t host” …yeah I know, but that’s not what I asked!

    13. I currently live in a studio and have the Ikea Friheten sleeper couch for this purpose. It takes up a lot of space, but it doubles as a couch so it’s useful for when people are not staying over.

          1. In the attention economy, I think a lot of product photos are designed to look off or wrong so people pause over them. (Literally if you are on any site that scrolls, it’s watching what you pause scrolling over.)

  5. I finally did a reformer class last Saturday and really liked it, and booked my next (at a different studio) for this coming Saturday; I figure I want to sample different studios before committing to one.

    Has anyone bought an affordable reformer for home use? Or is there a YouTuber you recommend for a secondary mat workout? $35 a class isn’t horrible but I’d like to view it as me getting used to the movements and shoring up some balance/alignment/weak core issues.

    1. How bad (ie painful) is it? A woman I know has offered to train me for free at a studio that’s two blocks from my home. I’m scared it will be painful. I lift weights with a trainer and ran a half marathon last summer so I don’t mind soreness but I hate the idea of pushing through very acute pain.

      2. Acute pain?? Unless you’re imagining a kind of pilates that is wildly different from actual pilates, it’s not painful.

      3. It’s not anymore painful while you’re doing it than something like strength training. I find a lot more soreness afterwards though as it tends to activate many small muscles that you don’t realize that you are not using regularly.

      4. If you’re experiencing acute pain on the reformer you are doing it very VERY wrong.

      5. i’m OP – i’m super weak and really liked the sample class in part because it seemed smooth and fluid and easy to keep my form. i’m sure my core and arms and legs will be “burning” but i’m optimistic for it.

      6. Maybe I’m not expressing it right. I find barre painful. Like when your calves are fatigued they yell “ high heels” and there is no relief. It’s not like dropping a weight you know? Is it like that constant pain?

          1. Because standing on my toes for an hour is painful? I’m not sure that’s a medical issue so much as a how “sculpting” type exercises work. Last time I asked about it people acknowledged that tiny painful movements are a Pilates thing. I guess I can try and see.

        2. I know the burn she’s describing. It is specific to barre where you are standing in these weird positions on your toes with your knees bent and tons of muscles contracted for a long time. Pilates also has some held positions while you are moving other body parts but it’s not as uncomfortable.

        3. I find barre way harder and more painful in the moment than a Pilates reformer ever was!

        4. I think you mean the burn? Yeah, you will feel it, but a good instructor will know your goals and wouldn’t shame you for breaks if you need to take them.

  6. My boyfriend is going on bachelor trip this summer for his friend who is getting married. The guy who is planning the trip is someone I really do not trust. He’s partnered, but frequently flirts with other women and seems desperate to cheat (I’ve heard him at least 3 separate times go on about how he doesn’t like being monogamous). The groom once went to a brothel with two of their other friends in spite of being with his current fiance at the time. The story goes that the groom and their other partnered friend sat and just watched the strip shows uncomfortably while their other friend got a private room, but who knows. His tagline after was “Hashtag, don’t tell Sally Mae (his now fiance).” Other guys on the trip include the guy who got the private room, another guy who is kind of a sleaze around women, and then a few others. Almost all are currently in relationships.

    My boyrfriend is extremely wholesome and monogamous, and has largely drifted apart from the groom due to different values. He won’t be able to make it to the wedding, but will probably go on the trip. My question is: are bachelor trips typically rowdy, or is it just a normal friend trip? They will likely be going somewhere in Mexico, and the guy who is planning was quite insistent that there would be nothing uncouth (he’s adopted a nice-guy act over the last few months, so I think pretending to be a boy scout who’d never entertain raunchy activities is part of that). I know if my boyfriend planned a trip it would just be to eat food and talk, but not sure what the norm is for bachelor trips.

    1. I would not trust this trip at all. But I generally think most men are trash.

    2. It’s probably not going to be the kind of trip you’d like! But it’s not really any of your business since you won’t be there.

      1. Rudely said, but true. There will be parts of this trip you do not like, but it isn’t for you. Adults who want to behave will behave. It sounds like you trust your partner. Just let it happen without giving too much grief. He’ll be home before you know it.

    3. If the answer is “Yes, the kind of men you described are likely to go to brothels and strip shows on this trip,” how does that affect things for you personally? I can’t tell that, from your post.

      1. I’d break up with my boyfriend if he went to either. He’s affirmed he never would and I trust him fully. I just feel like knowing this group they would pressure him like crazy if he tries to opt out and will shame our relationship.

        Unprompted, in conversation, the groom made some comment about “I’ll keep an eye on your boyfriend for you to make sure he behaves.” It made me annoyed, since my boyfriend is probably the only guy going that actually wouldn’t need any oversight to behave.

        1. If he doesn’t want to go to brothels and strip clubs, he won’t go on the trip. If he goes you can be absolutely assured that he will break your trust in some way and then lie to you about it. The groom’s comment signals that the group will use nasty remarks about how you control your boyfriend to encourage him to demonstrate his independence and manhood by betraying you.

          I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum, because no healthy relationship is based on ultimatums, but if he went on the trip I’d dump him immediately upon his return because your values are not compatible. Also think about the souvenirs he will bring back and share with you.

        2. Flip side: I would never be with someone who would dictate whether I could go somewhere with my friends. If you trust him, that’s all that matters.

          I’m married 18 years. I guarantee no friend of either of us could ever get us to cheat. You don’t cheat by association.

          But If my husband were to have ever tried to dictate who I could and couldn’t be friends with for an important event in their life, that probably would have been the end of us. The boyfriend isn’t going to the wedding. This is literally the other activity to celebrate this person. A healthy, grown up relationship isn’t about controlling or putting conditions around someone else’s friendships.

          1. You don’t cheat by association, but I do think that hanging out socially with men who have very inadequate concepts of consent is normalizing.

          2. You don’t engage in non-consensual behavior by association either. If you think that’s all it will take for your partner to behave that way, you’ve got far bigger issues. If the genders in this scenario were flipped and it was a group of party girls getting together, folks would say an ultimatum not to go is toxically controlling and a big red flag.

          3. For most men who engage in non-consensual behavior, there’s a whole community who makes sure the social costs aren’t too high.

            I don’t ever want to be part of that community and support network. Not if they’re a creepy evangelical pastor, not if they’re a cool and worldly vice tourist.

    4. You need to decide if you trust your boyfriend or not. You don’t get to decide if he goes.

      To answer your question, though: sound like even their “friend trips” are rowdy, so I’m not sure there’s a line to draw between bachelor trip and friend trip. I think anything is on the table based on what you’ve described. But, again, you just need to trust your boyfriend (or not, I suppose) to make good choices.

      2. Good people don’t go on these types of trips even if they don’t partake, associating with the type of people who do participate is yikes.

        1. LOL, “is yikes.” We aren’t 12. And lots of good people go on trips with extended friend groups and pick and choose their activities. This is unhelpful AND! untrue.

          1. + yikes not for the s workers but for picking locations where it’s not legal and more likely to be abu sive.

        3. Unpopular opinion, but I agree.

          Adults learn to not play with fire. Maybe when you’re in college you go to the drunken beach trip or Vegas with a group that can get wild. As actual adults? You understand that if the trip is likely to make you very uncomfortable or compromise your values, you just don’t go.

          1. Well said. If your BF is so uncomfortable with these guys’ behavior, then WHY is he even considering going? Is he a complete pushover?

    5. Hahahaha what? If they are hiring hookers on a normal weekend they certainly are for a bachelor party

    6. This is my husband and his high school friend group to a tee. He ended up not attending their bach parties for various unrelated reasons (one guy’s wife didn’t let him have one – smart wife!, one time he had a work conflict, etc.) but I would have been comfortable with him going if we’d established clear boundaries in advance. I trust my husband and aside from the fact that we’re monogamous and I trust him to be faithful, this just isn’t his scene at all. The friend group loves to talk about the time they hired a stripper who did “extras” to come to one of their apartments and dance and then have private time with each of the guys in turn, and my husband went to a different room to read a book and didn’t even want to watch the beginning part where she was just dancing — and he was single at the time, this was before we met. If he was the type of guy who was really into watching strippers and wanting to push the limits of what I was comfortable with, then I wouldn’t have been nearly as comfortable with him attending a party with these guys.

      1. A lot of guys wouldn’t seek out this type of entertainment and are even uncomfortable with it, but will readily cave to peer pressure to avoid appearing uncool or henpecked. When they get older and wiser they just turn down these trips, but when they’re young they go and get roped into a lot of things they know they shouldn’t do and would never do on their own. Then they feel guilt and regret and lash out at their wives so they can blame their wives for being controlling instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.

      2. Yes – setting explicit boundaries with your S/O seems like the thing to do rather than just forbidding him to go on the trip or breaking up with him if he does.

        1. Though if this is the same bf and the same high drama group of friends that’s been posted about before, I wonder how long this pattern will go on and whether this couple just needs to make new friends?

          2. I wouldn’t assume it’s a previous poster, I think a lot of people have this issue.

            I’m the 3:58 poster and don’t think my husband is a terrible person for wanting to go to his high school besties’ bach parties, although he would have listened and reevaluated if I’d been really uncomfortable with it (and like I said he ended up not being able to go to any of them for other reasons). He isn’t close to these guys on a day to day basis and has seen them probably less than a dozen times since graduating high school, most of which were at weddings. If they were local and he wanted to hang out with them every weekend, I would be questioning his judgment and choice of friends because I do generally subscribe to the idea that you’re an average of who you surround yourself with. But I think it’s a big ask to completely cut off longtime close friends who are more like family than friends, even if you don’t love their behavior. The important thing is drawing boundaries that make you (and your partner if applicable) comfortable.

          3. There was one about how to handle social occasions with a sleazy guy who hits on other people’s gfs, but now he’s pretending to be reformed.

        2. Trying to dictate his behavior will backfire. OP can tell him how she feels about the trip, focusing on all the bad things his friends will do rather than on what she suspects he will do. “I worry that on this trip your friends will really pressure you to do things you aren’t comfortable with. How do you feel about that?” Then he makes his decision. If he decides to go, then she has to decide what she is willing to put up with and whether she will stay with him or break up. I would break up because he clearly doesn’t respect her, himself, or the women they’ll be hiring on the trip.

    7. Do men have non-raunchy bachelor parties? Of course. Most men I know (30-40s age range) play golf or go fishing or rent out a sportsball box or even stadium for bachelor parties. I don’t actually know anyone (anymore…) who went to a strip club for theirs. And fwiw the fiancées in question do not care in the slightest about their SO going to a strip club so there would’ve been no reason to lie. By this age, men have been to the clubs and know that they’re a boring waste of money unless you want to spend $$$$, and they’d rather do something cool with that money like play flag football in their favorite team’s stadium.

      The trip you’re describing with their history? I think it’s almost certain that there will be sx workers. So you either trust your SO to behave in that environment or you don’t. Personally I don’t really care about my husband being in the presence of nkd women, nothing he hasn’t seen before, but I’m not ok with touching. And he’s been to enough strip clubs to not want to be touched by those ladies at this point in his life anyway. If you trust your partner then trust him and wait for the juicy gossip when he gets home.

      1. +1 adventure tourism is also popular – multiday kayaking trips, heli ski trips. It’s an excuse for bucket list experiences.

    8. “My question is: are bachelor trips typically rowdy, or is it just a normal friend trip?”

      I say this as gently as i can on the internet; this is not the right question. It seems like you want to know about this trip in particular and we can’t answer that. But it’s my understanding that there is a level of raunchiness at most of them, and people participate at various levels.

      I really think you need to explore your feelings and talk to your boyfriend. None of this bothers me but i know a lot of women who are extremely bothered by it and i don’t think it’s only about trust or the strength of the relationship. I’d get clear on your feelings and have a talk with him about your comfort level. I know a woman who has been happily married for a decade who still gets teary about something her husband did at his bachelor party that other people would consider normal bachelor party stuff. I’m sure her husband would never have done that if he knew it would upset her for this long.

      2. Same, I know a woman who is still hung up on her husband’s bachelor party after 25 years of marriage. It will never leave her in peace.

      3. That’s really sad. Also curious about what he did. I suppose the details aren’t that relevant, but how do you not go into the marriage with major reservations if you didn’t like what happened during the bachelor party?

    9. Seems likely to be rowdy. If your DH doesn’t want that vibe to dominate the trip, he can initiate some things that are more in his interest area like visiting cenotes or scuba diving and/or arrive later and leave earlier.

      If they have drifted apart, why is he going on this trip at all? DH and I tend to do bachelor/bachelorette destination parties only with our closest friends. Would rather spend vacation dollars on picking locations and experiences we want.

      1. I don’t think I’d trust this crew anywhere near water. Substances and scuba diving do not mix.

        1. As an ex-life guard yeah these people do not sound like they would be safe near water.

    10. Mexico means cheap sex workers and drugs, unfortunately. If you trust your boyfriend, I guess the question is why would he even want to go on a trip like that if it’s not his scene?

      1. I suppose that is the dilemma here. Boyfriend asked the guy who was planning about what type of activities would be taking place, and the guy planning went “whatever you’re thinking, definitely not that!” They’ve been billing it as a very tame, normal trip, but I doubt it actually will be. I don’t think my boyfriend would go if they were to say it will be a rowdy time with SW type activities.

        I trust him, so even if it turns out there is, it doesn’t really bother me I guess since I don’t think he’d do anything I’d be upset about. There’s a part of me that even looks forward to the gossip. But I am just curious as to what the norm and I also resent these guys for co-opting a ‘good guy’ persona when I think it’s an act.

        1. I hate having this kind of gossip. I don’t want to know that the groom slept with a s worker if the bride doesn’t know.

          1. I have no problem with ratting our bad men, but I understand the norm is to mind your business.

    11. I would be uncomfortable with my DH going on this trip with this crew, as there’s likely going to be s3x-related activities that involve working women. I’m on the more conservative side compared to many on this board (I don’t want my DH to watch p0rn, no $trip clubs, no flirting or commenting on other women, etc.), and while I trust my DH, I don’t want him attending a weekend that’s likely all about the things that I don’t want in my relationship.

      Just because he sits in another room or takes a walk around the block doesn’t mean that he’s not going to be steeped in an environment that, in my opinion, objectifies women, pushes the boundaries that we’ve agreed to, ignores or ridicules the boundaries we’ve agreed to, and generally encourages behavior that we’ve agreed not to do.

      You get to have whatever deal-breakers you want, you and your boyfriend get to agree on whatever boundaries make sense for your relationship, and you should definitely share your discomfort with your boyfriend and take whatever action you want, based on his response.

    12. The tradition and the expectation is to go farther on a bachelor trip than on a normal friend trip, whatever that means, because it’s the groom’s “last chance” to get away with things a wife may not appreciate.

      1. To spell this out, if they usually go out to eat, they’ll definitely order extra food compared to previous nights out for the bachelor’s party. If they normally go out to drink, they’re going to drink higher shelf and get more drunk, because it’s the bachelor’s party. You can fill in the blanks on this friend group’s precedented activities, including keeping secrets from significant others.

    13. This sounds like a gross group of dudes, and I wouldn’t buy the argument that they’re suddenly going on a wholesome boys’ trip. Honestly, I would be super uncomfortable with the whole deal, even knowing my significant other is trustworthy and wouldn’t participate. Really, though, it’s up to him to decide how to play this. I do think you can be very clear about what types of um, activities, that you’re not OK with.

    14. My guess is that they are mildly rowdy, but I think this really depends on your comfort level and your trust level with your boyfriend.

      It seems likely they’d go to a strip club and/or brothel on a trip like this one, but what they do there is anyone’s guess (and anyone’s choice).

  7. People whose companies require applicants to fill out their whole work experience + also upload their resume (i.e. Workday) – which one do you look at? Both? Just the resume?

    1. Whichever one is better formatted and more intelligible. Sometimes I compare the two.

      1. Would it be a negative if the form isn’t well formatted? Because sometimes the form really messes up my formatting

        1. Use an online resume template. It was worth the $25 or whatever to me. Once I did that the forms stopped doing funky things with my spacing and bullets and whatnot while still keeping it visually appealing on a PDF. If your using a visual that is set up right, you won’t encounter any of that.

  8. From this morning’s convo re hunger, being hangry, and blood sugar, can anyone talk a non-health care person through what to look for in routine bloodwork for blood sugar? I can pull up records on my chart and I know it’s something that comes up with my partner’s sugars being on the high side (but he eats garbage-level junk often). Maybe we need to get religion since we aren’t spring chickens.

    1. Your doctors may have checked “A1C” (which is an average of blood sugars over a few weeks if I recall correctly) and may have checked “fasting blood glucose” (or fasted BG or similar).

      In a way it’s nice if something shows up while eating garbage-level junk since there may be a lot of room for improvement. It’s easier if numbers are likely to improve just by working on that a little that; if diet is already optimal and numbers still look bad! It’s not overkill to see a registered dietitian. Young ones will have been trained in meeting people where they are at and setting realistic, comfortable goals.

      1. Sorry for the bad sentence: It is easier to improve numbers if the diet has a lot of room for improvement than if diet is already optimal.

    2. your fasting glucose level? Is that what you are asking about? under 70 or over 125 is high risk. according to my employee health physical.

        1. I’m not familiar with that as a valid test read out (under a certain number glucometers typically read “LOW”).

          Under a certain number we’d also be unconscious so I think that was probably an error!

      2. Looks like mine was at 80 for a decade. Now at perimenopause, twice it has been just 70. What does that mean?

        1. I am not a doctor, but as a patient I would be pretty pleased with a fasting glucose of 70 or 80 or anywhere in between.

    3. You need to have a conversation with your doctor about the results, rather than trying to read them yourself.

      1. I think these conversations often go better if we have more than a 0% baseline understanding of what the doctor is talking about.

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