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Thursday’s Workwear Report: 100% Organic Cotton Cropped Cardigan

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A woman wearing white pants and an ivory cardigan

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Somehow, I missed the memo that Quince is now offering plus sizes in several styles, which is very exciting news! I just grabbed this slightly cropped cardigan to wear over summer dresses this year. The fit is a little boxier than I would normally gravitate toward, but I like the way it looks with a flowier skirt.

Quince has been a mixed bag for me in the past, but I’m really happy with the quality of this. 

The sweater is $60 at Quince and comes in sizes 1X-3X in six different colors. It’s also available in sizes XS-XL.

Sales of note for 5/1:

  • Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 40% off your purchase PLUS $50 off $200! Readers love this popover blouse, and their suiting is also in the sale.
  • Boden – 15% off new styles with code
  • Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide (ends 5/1) — we have and love these sateen sheets
  • Evereve – All tops on sale
  • Express – $39+ Summer Styles
  • Hatch – $15 off one of our favorite alarm clocks with code LETMOMSLEEP15
  • J.Crew – Up to 30% off wear-now styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything, and extra 60% off clearance
  • Lands' End – 40% off sitewide – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
  • Loft – 60% off florals and 50% off your purchase
  • M.M.LaFleur – End of season sale. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
  • Nordstrom – 1500+ new women's markdowns
  • Sephora – Hair deals daily – today 5/1 up to 50% off dae, Verb, PATTERN by Tracee Ellis Ross, and BaBylissPro products
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276 Comments

    1. We have a mini home gym that we have built up over the years (starting in 2020 and still growing!). Dumbbells, plates, a bench, bands, a treadmill, bike and a power rack. I do the Madeline Moves App and have been doing her program for years. I’ve done her pregnancy and post partum program twice and do her Weekly Moves program consistently.

    2. Adjustable dumbbells (5-25lbs in 2.5lb increments).

      In the past I’ve done Ladder and Darebee programs, but now kinda make my own.

    3. I have a few kettlebells, and three sets of dumbbells that I use regularly (plus a chin-up bar that I use more for stretching these days). I use the Pelaton app and it auto-schedules class options based on my preferences. I’m hooked and it’s a wonderful way to give yourself structure and accountability without leaving your home. You get the first month of the app subscription as a free trial. There are also plenty of free apps out there, but I only have experience with Pelaton.

    4. Dumbbells with a tower. I think I have 5lb, 8lb, 10lb, 15lb, 20lb, and 25lb pairs. My spouse uses the heavy ones more than I do. Both of us do a pretty basic mix of standard free weight routines. I like free options from Muscle & Strength, Fitness Blender, etc.

    5. I have a really simple setup, just dumbbells and some resistance bands. I work with a trainer who designs workouts for me to do at home, but I’ll also do the peloton strength workouts sometimes.

    6. I follow Nourish Move Love mostly. She sends out the workouts got the week on Sunday.

    7. Here to echo NourishMoveLove. The workouts are great and she is very encouraging. I have been following her for several years. Have dumbbells, kettlebells, resistance bands, a step-up box, and an old school step. Also a Treadmill and recumbent bike that never get used. Cardio is typically done outside and/or built into weekly NML workouts.

    8. Husband and I both lift at home. We have a gym in our basement. Squat rack, barbell, bumper plates, dumbbells up to 50 lbs, kettlebells, bench, box, mat, resistance bands. I currently use the app Stronger By the Day.

    9. Weight rack up to 50lbs, bench, bosu ball, TRX straps, various bands, rower, treadmill. I basically re-created the orange theory set up.

    12. Beside the point, but “u” drove me nuts back when texting required you to push each button multiple times to get the letter you want. There is no excuse in this day and age where we have a full keyboard on our phones!

      1. I’m with you. I bleeping hate the short hand you/your, and some others but those in particular.

        1. So do I. It’s so jarring and juvenile. And I fail to see how it’s a time saver. It takes no extra time to type out “you,” and it would take more effort to type just “u,” unless this was something you did all the time and it’s your default(!).

  2. Debating going in-house. One step under GC, one step above their AGCs. I have a standing offer, technically need to get a letter with a dollar amount but have been told if I say yes, they’ll match my current comp. Current client, about 20% of my time now. Is it crazy to ask:
    – If I can meet or kick the tires/work on something with any execs I haven’t worked with yet? I think I’ve met or worked with about half their leadership team. I’m wary of starting and day 2 finding out half my time will be with someone I have never met.
    – I want a 2- month break between jobs. When’s the right time to bring that up?
    – I’m most worried about something crazy happening and getting laid off my first 6 months (like a buyout situation where current GC or legal team also get laid off). Would a GC even consider a 6-month pay guarantee or if they let me go within the first six months I’ll get a few months severance? Is it worth asking? I’m confident I’ll land on my feet but getting laid off right away would stink. They have international owners so it’s not impossible that GC wouldn’t know much ahead of time.

    1. I’ve been in house for a couple of decades now, albeit at a health system, so it differs from in house public. I would say it’s fine to ask for informational interviews (or the like) with execs you haven’t worked with. Keep in mind that turnover is real, so anyone you love working with could be gone tomorrow. As for the break between jobs, it sounds like they are creating a job for you, so I would imagine they would be fine waiting for you to start. Finally, with regard to severance, perhaps ask for details of the severance policy? There may be one, which has a change in control provision. I get 18 months if our org is bought out. Sometimes the severance will give you X week for every year you have been there, which could be very disadventageous to you. Also, ask if it’s an ERISA plan. Mine isn’t, so there is some flexibility to offer different terms to different individuals. I’m not sure that’s permitted if it’s an ERISA plan (#notanexpert).

      1. An ERISA severance plan can be entirely discretionary, up to the point that it says that Bob in Accounting has 100% control over the amount of each person’s severance. I’ve actually drafted ERISA severance plans that were not much more than that.

    2. In-house here as at a similar level.
      1. I don’t think this will be well perceived, unless it’s people who will be on your team or peers in legal. Even if you like them all, many of those leaders will depart at some point. Would you leave if you didn’t like their successor? It might also jeopardize your current client work if you meet them and then decline the move.
      2. When negotiating your start date and offer (salary, benefits).
      3. Severance for term without cause is standard at this level, so negotiate it as part of your package. I wouldn’t ask about first 6 months, but instead negotiate it regardless of when the departure occurs.

    3. By “standing offer” do you mean you’ve been told that they’d love to have you in their department and whenever you’re ready to leave private practice, let them know? Or that you’ve already been through some kind of structured interview process/discussions and are working out details? Because that impacts how I’d answer your first two questions. If the latter, ASAP. If the former, after you reach out and confirm that you are ready to formally discussing a move, but don’t delay. For each, I’d still say as early as possible. I don’t know if you’re going to have much luck asking to work with an exec on a project, but a meeting seems like a reasonable ask.

      I’m on my first in house role, so others with more experience may disagree but I doubt you’ll get any traction on a pay guarantee. Is there some reason that you’re concerned about lay offs? Is this a PE backed co or are you aware that the company has been seeking out potential buyers?

    4. I went in-house exactly this way. 10 / 10 recommend.

      On 1– talk about your role more precisely with the GC! I knew going in that my position would support the same clients and leadership that I’d been doing outside counsel work for.
      On 2– given it’s a standing offer, this is something you could be open with the GC about. Ask when the best time for you to onboard would be (like, do you support cyclical work and so starting in a lull would help get you settled) and then back out from there.
      On 3– ask about their severance policy when you get into benefits details with HR. If it’s paltry for new hires, perhaps negotiate a sign-on bonus that would mitigate the risk.

    5. The only thing I’d negotiate a break and even then not that directly. I’d build in some time at your current employer, but stay there less so you’re only asking for a few weeks. I am very put off when hiring by a long delay to start. A few weeks fine, but two months is crazy. The other issues are just paranoia. You know a lot since they’ve been a client. Sometimes you need to take a leap.

      1. Counterpoint- I took 2 months off between job 1 and 2, and job 2 and 3. As a lawyer, one of the best decisions of my life and recommend it to anyone. If you’re recruited, you have some leverage. Not having an email address to even check or worry about is mentally life-changing. Not having malpractice insurance coverage means you don’t field a single Q. Go to the woods, leave your phone behind, take your kids out of daycare, visit a friend – our careers are extremely demanding and not checking email at all is a rare luxury. Yes, you may need to take a leap, but if you can financially afford a break, take one!

      2. I do not think two months off is crazy. Especially at this level. I would not hesitate to negotiate that OP.

    6. I’m curious about why you’re so worried about getting laid off within the first six months. Is this irrational fear or do you know something about what’s going on at the company and know it’s a real possibility?

    7. I was in discussion with a company where there was absolutely volatility in leadership and potential for acquisition and the advice I was given by every “friendly” at the company who I spoke with about it was to negotiate a guaranteed severance.

  3. quince must have given a deal to the bloggers. this sweater was featured this week by unfemme. that said, i actually already own this sweater in ivory and i like it a lot and wear often.

    2. This is exhibit A for why cardigans are frumpy and should be left for the weekend.

      2. I bought it and didn’t like it, but I own 6 of the quince cashmere cardigans and I love them.

          2. I love cardigans too and wear them often. My office is cold and I have a hard time working when I’m freezing. Though I met my friend for lunch the other day and we were both wearing cardigans and loafers and joked that we looked like Mr. Rogers lol.

      4. Although this neckline isn’t one I like on myself, if your eye thinks this is universally frumpy that says more about your narrow views than it does about the state of cardigans in general.

        1. We obviously have a lot of “fashion goddesses” on this site with a very limited imagination, so they just hate on anything they themselves don’t like.

          1. And they hate anything that wasn’t dropped in the past three months. Like, most of us want more longevity from our clothing and have a personal style that may or may not match with whatever is the newest thing out there.

      5. You must work for Big Blazer or something. These comments are getting old.
        What you must have meant to say is “I think this cardigan is frumpy” or “this is an example of a frumpy cardigan.” Surely you grasp that one cardigan does not exemplify all cardigans.

      6. real question to the cardigan hater– what do you wear or bring to the movies or an air conditioned restaurant over a summer dress or a tank top in August? I like a cardigan because unlike a jacket it is easy to roll in a ball. I also find that a pashmina looks old and frumpy to me these days….

        1. I’ve never liked the look of a pashmina. It looks too forced. Not the cardigan hater, but I don’t wear one in the summer–if it’s chilly inside, I’ll be chilly, but often I’ll just ask for outdoor seating. I don’t like random extra “stuff” when I’m out and about.

          1. Guys. Cardigans, pashminas, it’s all back and it’s all in. Nothing sounds frumpier than someone complaining about dated stuff that is actually trendy again because enough time has passed.

          2. Yeah I just cannot relate to being willing to be cold and uncomfortable to avoid any and all cardigans. I guess it’s nice that your friends and family are so willing to sit outside in the summer heat because you don’t like carrying another layer.

          3. Of course they are. I don’t know anyone who would choose indoor seating during nice weather. We gravitate towards people like ourselves, I guess.

          4. Oh okay, so you must live some place where the weather is actually nice year round, unlike many of us who deal with sweltering summers. Glad you clarified!

      7. This cardigan is frumpy but not all of them are. The ribbed sections are too wide and the buttons are too large and dark. I prefer a neutral cardigan that lets my dress or skirt be the focal point.

          1. I hate ribbed fabric. I won’t touch it. I’m not entirely sure who it’s meant to flatter.

          2. This is not ribbed fabric, it’s ribbed bands at the waist, cuffs, and collar. Perfectly standard for a sweater.

          3. Ribbing in knitting is purposeful design, and if you look at old/heritage/knitting patterns, you will see it often. Ribbing draws in the edge, in a stretchable way so that it lies more closely to the body instead of flopping around. Ribbing is a finish choice. You may not like the way it looks, but it is intentional/for a reason.

            Ribbing also means the garment fits more body types because of the stretch factor.

    3. I swear, every time the model is plus sized there’s at least one of these comments.

  4. What do you carry to prevent dog attacks while walking? I don’t want to injure a dog but obviously don’t want to get hurt myself when walking alone. Are air horns effective?

    1. I’ve only ever been legitimately threatened by a loose, charging, slavering dog once. I was empty handed. I managed to avoid actual contact by treating the dog like a charging brown bear: I made myself big with my hands in the air and took a wide stance. I yelled at in in a deep, authoritative voice (BAD DOG, NO NO NO, GO HOME). I stood my ground and stomped towards the dog when it slowed down and showed uncertainty. If the dog had not stopped, I was prepared to shove my arm down its throat to make it gag so it couldn’t latch on and bite.

      In that moment, I think the only thing that might have helped would have been pepper spray or perhaps a large, sturdy stick.

    2. Realistically a dog that attacks people who are out on a walk is a dog that should be behaviorally euthanized anyway.

        1. OP should not be overly worried about not hurting a dog that’s actively attacking. Go ahead and use the bear spray!

        1. If the concern is really about being injured by an untrained, friendly dog (which is common! they jump up and knock people over, or trip people on their leads, or accidentally maul people with their claws since the kind of people who leave dogs untrained usually neglect their claws as well), a walking stick and a commanding tone go a long way!

          1. My dog is the friendly but could knock you down type. We don’t let her run loose, but if she did, and someone hit her with a stick or sprayed her with bear spray, I wouldn’t feel a bit mad at them.

          2. I wouldn’t actually hit a friendly dog with a stick, but I’d use it to put distance between me and the dog (and brandishing anything makes people look a lot more intimidating to most animals!).

            Getting knocked over by a friendly dog can be absolutely life changing in the worst way if it leads to a bad break. Thanks for not letting your dog injure people.

        2. Those dogs (the dogs with bad manners that come over to you and jump on you) are not attacking. They are badly trained and have no right to be in your business, but I would not treat them the same way as a dog that is actually attacking. These poorly behaved dogs can be told NO, OFF, DOWN, in an authoritative voice or shoved away with a stick/your backpack. Don’t shriek/scream, run, or swat/smack at them or they will think you are playing and continue to jump on you. Generally, you can also grab their collar and push them down because they are not trying to actually bite you.

    3. Nothing? If there’s a specific dog you know about as a threat or in an area with aggressive offleash dogs, maybe a water gun. But otherwise this feels like way too much anxiety for a simple walk.

      1. Maybe where you live. I’ve been jumped on at least a dozen times in the past 2 years. Two of those were forceful enough to knock me to the ground. At least 6 were leashed dogs whose leash holders were laughing and gently insisting that the dog was friendly.

        1. I wouldn’t qualify these as attacks (though it is dangerous). As you yourself observed, the jumping is encouraged by the people walking the dogs so the dogs don’t see it as hostile or understand that it’s harmful.

          1. If a person rushed up and pushed you over it would be assault and you could call the police and there would be charges, even if their buddies were laughing and encouraging them. Why is that different because it’s a dog? A dog that knocks you over counts as an attack.

          2. This is bad logic. People don’t run at and knock over others out of overexuberance and poor leash training.

          3. In practical terms, responding to a dog that is hostile and aggressive is not the same as responding to a dog that thinks it is playing, so how I protect myself effectively will be different. If a playing dog thinks I’m playing too, I could end up encouraging the dangerous behavior and getting myself hurt! And remember that OP was all worried about harming the dog. That should not be a concern if you’re actually being attacked; in that scenario, it’s you or the dog, and the dog will be put down whether it’s hurt first or not. A friendly dog that jumps on people may not actually be put down, even if the person dies of complications from the fall.

          4. Unlike a person, a dog doesn’t understand the social and legal expectation to refrain from touching people without their consent, and is not charged with such understanding. You are confusing the result of the action (being knocked over) with the mental state behind the action. It is the mental state behind the action that forms the basis for criminal charges, not the result. A “friendly” but out of control dog jumping on you isn’t trying to harm you or acting aggressively. It’s a dog – it can’t form mens rea. It doesn’t know it’s doing anything wrong in the same way that a person knows it’s wrong to rush up and push you over. A person who rushes you and pushes you does know, or reasonably should know, that it is wrong to do so. We expect more out of people than dogs – your friends laughing isn’t actually sufficient to overcome your knowledge that it’s wrong to make physical contact with someone without their consent, especially in a way you know or should know could harm them.

            That’s the difference. The phrase “dog attack” refers to an intentional act of aggression by a dog. This is just basic language about animal behavior.

          5. I mean, same as with people, either a dog does understand the social expectation to refrain from touching people without their consent, or it does not. There absolutely is an expectation that applies to dogs though, and many dogs do know this!

          6. No, a dog does not understand that social expectation in the same way that people do. Come on, be serious. A dog does not understand the concept of consent, or human social norms, the way we do. Dogs *can be trained* to refrain from jumping on people, to ignore people, and to wait for permission to interact, etc., and many dogs are. Mine is. But it is asinine to pretend like dogs have the same understanding of social and legal expectations around human behavior as humans do. A trained dog knows not to jump on someone, but they don’t understand the why. The “expectation” that we apply to dogs is really an expectation that we apply to humans to train their dogs to behave in appropriate ways. No one can rationally have an expectation that a dog will inherently understand human behavioral norms.

          7. Come on, tons of people don’t understand those things either. I know dogs aren’t lawyers, but neither are children, who are also run around and knock into people if no one is either overseeing them or instructing them otherwise.

        2. I am not saying it is ok (at all!!!), but a leashed dog jumping up on you is a lot different than a dog attacking you.

    6. do you live somewhere that there are wild dogs? this is not something I have ever considered as a threat that is significant enough to require advance preparation.

      1. agree, I’m a dog owner that’s out a LOT. I’ve never encountered an off leash wild dog or aggressive dog trying to attack. I’ve seen human aggressive / reactive dogs on leash. I’ve seen LOTS of dogs that get reactive/aggressive toward other dogs both on and off leash. But a dog that is off leash and just…seeks out humans to attack should be euthanized for sure and is not something you are likely to encounter. Even those mean looking junk yard attack dogs are aggressive because you are on their turf. If they got out they would not chase down humans to attack them unless they have other unusual stuff going on- and should be euthanized.

        1. I walk a lot in rural areas, and that is where I encounter genuinely aggressive dogs. Usually ones who have decided the path Belongs To Them, not are just out for random attacks. A stick (usually my walking stick) held in front of me as a physical barrier, and I do usually carry a rock I can pull out of my pocket and hold visibly (you almost never have to throw it! Rural dogs are usually familiar enough with the concept that just seeing the stone keeps them back)

      2. Not that person, but I spent some time working in Argentina and I was legitimately concerned about all the stray dogs. None bothered me much but I had never known that some places have massive stray/feral dog populations.

    8. I have a massive dog. He’s not interested in people (and he’s about as aggressive as a hot dog, he won’t even aggressively sniff you) but if he were to lunge at you to try and attack you, the best thing that would work is to shove a large stick horizontally in his mouth. When he was a crazy puppy working on his impulse control he’d sometimes leap up at me trying to get the ball/stick/toy from me and I used a lacrosse stick to just sort of keep distance between me and his giant face of teeth so nothing bad happened. The dog can’t bit you or anything else with a stick in its face.

      That said, are you imagining a scenario where you are walking and a dog comes out of nowhere off leash and attacks you (bite with intent to harm)? Or like, walking by with an owner who has the dog on leash and it lunges at you? Or walking and a dog runs up out of nowhere and you don’t know its intentions? The latter two situations have better solutions than my stick, but generally, you see dog walkers with a walking stick for this exact reason. You can also put it between two fighting dogs (again, my giant dog would rather hide between my legs than fight but I’ve seen it with others!)

    9. To the folks saying this isn’t a thing – my best friend was attacked by a stray dog while out walking her dog a couple of years ago. That was on Long Island.
      I also live next to a midwestern city with a not insignificant population of stray dogs. Some folks in certain neighborhoods walk outside with a piece of plywood with nails hammered into it. I’m not kidding.

      1. I feel like I know kind of a lot of people who have been attacked by dogs. It’s hard to hide bites on the face or arms; it’s a lot of recovery! My sense is that there’s a lot of overlap between dogs that have been beaten by humans and dogs that have been kicked out to fend for themselves or that have escaped their household. They roam around and attack people’s pets, and people place the blame on “coyotes” or other wild animals.

      2. Yes, and where I live most homeless encampments have dogs that are used for security, are untrained, and dangerous to people and other dogs. I’ve known people who have been attacked, and who have lost their pets to attacks. It’s a know your environment kind of thing, but is absolutely a threat in some communities.

    10. I have started carrying dog-deterrent spray that is “dog safe” (citronella, I think?) when I walk my two smaller dogs, as we have been charged by large, off-leash dogs a couple times when out on a walk. I don’t think they were unusually aggressive dogs,” and everything turned out ok, but my dogs are barky and reactive when leashed, and it was kind of scary and the situation was hard to manage. I haven’t had to use it, though, so can’t vouch for its effectiveness. I don’t carry anything when walking alone, but both my mom and a close friend have been injured by off-leash dogs when walking alone (one was badly injured by a dog bite, the other just badly scratched on her legs), so I don’t think you’re being overly anxious.

      1. Now that the antivaxx movement extends to pet vaccines, I would want vaccination records of a dog that bit or scratched me (and I would verify them because faked vaccination records are a thing now too). I know it would be incredibly unlucky, but irresponsible people can be irresponsible in multiple domains!

        1. This is a good point. I’ve been watching the anti-vaxx movement take hold re: dog vaccinations with horror (along with other kinds of science-denying, conspiracy-minded, “wholistic” pet care ideas that very closely mirror what you see in the human space) and while I hope this approach is fringe and rare, rabies isn’t something to assume isn’t a problem.

        2. One of my friends is currently getting the series of rabies exposure shots because of a dog encounter. It was an unleashed dog and has not been located nor have any owners been identified. The dog grabbed food she was carrying and ran off with it. While she only got a scrape on her hand, because they cannot trace its vaccination status they have to assume it was rabid.

          She hasn’t described it as an attack, though. The dog was clearly interested in her food and not in her. It happened so fast she didn’t really have an opportunity to pull out pepper spray or anything.

    12. Nothing. It’s not something I ever think about. When I was a kid my childhood dog was attacked by another dog and it’s still not something I consider.

    13. Pepper spray. If anyone’s “friendly” off-leash pit bull ever charges my kid again, I will defend him and then call the police.

    14. You’d want something with some range. I’d carry a walking stick, or perhaps a lanyard with a lot of keys (maybe a combination lock as well). Swinging that would be a decent deterrent.

    17. I have 2 dogs and love them very much. That being said, of the people I’ve personally known who’ve been bitten by a dog, it was someone’s pet who got out of the house/fence, not a wild dog.

      I would be more likely to carry a bear spray or spray bottle than a noisemaker. I feel like a noise maker might scare them into coming at you, where a spray would be a deterrent.

  5. Have any of you experienced infidelity in your marriage? What was the outcome?

      1. +1. Happened to several of my friends, and although the aftermath (divorce) was unspeakably difficult, they are better off now. Their former partners were sucky in other ways.

        1. Yeah, one of my grad school BFFs got divorced and she is way better off. He was genuinely dragging her down and now he’s another woman’s problem. Also I think it’s better for her son.

    2. My father cheated on my mother when she was pregnant with their second child and they remained married until she discovered he was cheating again about twenty five years later. He probably cheated other times too. They have been divorced over a decade now and it was extremely hard on my mother – the divorce, combined with unrelated medical and job problems really took a toll on her self-esteem. My father basically did nothing to repair his relationship with us kids. But time heals all wounds. We’re all doing fairly well. Sometimes I wish that my mother had separated from him sooner for her own self-confidence. But that would have been hard on her financially. By the time they did separate, she’d gotten a masters degree and a better paying job.

      1. From what I’ve seen in acquaintances’ marriages, couples don’t fully address it if the husband cheats during pregnancy. The wife feels trapped and too vulnerable so she brushes it under the rug, figuring they’ll deal with it after the baby comes. Then she’s too exhausted with a newborn. Once she finally feels settled it’s been so long since the incident and why revive the misery?

        Of course the husband learns he can cheat without consequences so he keeps doing it. I don’t judge those women in an impossible position. But I think it means they’ll never have a happy marriage again.

    3. my husband was cheating. we are divorced. the cheating was only a piece of a major mental breakdown, bi polar, a lot of high risk behavior and he decimated our finances.

    4. I divorced him. With joy. He always a failure as a husband in so many other ways, but for Reasons I was biding my time.

    5. My ex cheated for a period of about 6 months and covered his tracks (I’m not an idiot, but he worked a top secret job and traveled for work, so there were always things I wasn’t privy to). I didn’t suspect anything until the very end when he just… stopped coming home. He claimed “well, I identify as poly, I can’t go back to being monogamous”. That was news to me. He’d never mentioned it once before. He was willing to stay married, but only if I agreed to an open marriage. That was a non-starter, and I divorced him. Four years and a LOT of therapy later, I’m now engaged to the man I wish I’d found the first time around, who is my match through and through.

    6. Yes.

      I was completely oblivious to the affair (it was with a woman he met through work, although not a coworker) and only discovered it after he had already initiated divorce proceedings. He eventually married her.

      1. This was my story. I found out days after our divorce was finalized that his now-wife was pregnant. I was completely oblivious to the affair until that moment, though I likely shouldn’t have been. And the affair made the divorce make a whole lot more sense, so it was actually a bit of a mercy. I was glad to have solved the mystery.
        I think marriages can survive infidelity, and I don’t think it necessarily means or communicates that one partner has no self respect. But I don’t think there’s any medal to be won in staying for its own sake. Repair has to be something you both really, really want and are willing to work to achieve.
        Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to know your answer right now.

    7. If you stay you’ve signaled you have no self respect and he can do whatever he wants. The only option for dignity is leaving. It sucks to blow up your life but it sucks more to live with someone who regards you so little.

      1. What an un-nuanced and blindly privileged take. Many women can’t leave for physical or financial reasons.

        1. Well sure. But physical and financial reasons are also reasons he doesn’t have to respect you and can do whatever he wants. It’s just a bad position to be in.

          1. It is a bad position to be in. But meanly saying that being in that position means you have no self-respect is both vicious and dumb.

        2. That’s kind of her point. There’s a certain kind of person that will refuse to be a good partner unless there are consequences. When he knows you can leave, he will be wonderful. But as soon as you’re stuck, his motivation for being wonderful is gone. The person you thought you fell in love with was just an act. The person he really is is a selfish, manipulative, toddler of a man who will do anything and everything he can get away with. It is a heartbreaking realization. And it’s certainly not easy to get out of because that was his end game the whole time — to earn your trust so he could live the life he wants at your expense.

        3. These are two sides of the same coin. Everything is pros and cons. Staying for a good reason is a choice that could be the best option for some. But if he doesn’t feel bad about the cheating and regret his actions, staying certainly means to him that he can do whatever he wants.

          1. For the love. Yes, everything is pros and cons. And yes, I understand what she’s saying — it’s not exactly sharp or complex. My point is to suggest that choosing a path that may very well be the best option does not automatically suggest a lack of self-respect and that there’s no dignity in it. It’s a nasty, simplistically adolescent take on what can be a very complex issue.

          2. Be more explicit next time. Your response was knee-jerk opinion shaming. If the first response lacked nuance, so did yours.

    8. My now-ex husband cheated on me with his child’s mother. I felt guilty, like I was keeping a family apart. He and I didn’t have children. Ultimately, the two of them didn’t want to be together; they both thought the affair was a mistake. Weirdly, I felt less threatened by their relationship after the affair than I did before. It was as if there had been this tension building and once it was let out, the prospect of an affair no longer had any appeal to either of them and so their continued relationship didn’t bother me. I ended up becoming friendly with her. She and I had a great co-parenting relationship.

      My relationship with my husband never recovered, though recovered is the wrong word. I don’t think he ever saw us as married. He had no respect for me as his wife. I think that’s part of why he had the affair. And that didn’t change after the affair. I wasn’t even the reason the affair ended. And in fact he never admitted to cheating even though we all knew what happened (like I said, I became friendly with her, she told me more about the affair than he did). So I think the real betrayal of our marriage wasn’t the affair itself, it was his attitude toward our marriage before, during, and after the affair.

    9. My ex-husband was cheating on me with the wife of his coworker. I divorced him. Zero regrets. My life is so much better in multiple ways. My advice is to watch what someone does, NOT what they say.

    10. Not my experience, but I supported a close friend whose husband cheated and they repaired the marriage. It was a lot of work, but in the end was worth it. A lot of couples therapy and individual therapy for both. They worked on communication and set a lot of rules to rebuild trust. They are stronger and more committed than before. But if he had wavered at all in the process, divorce was always on the table.

    11. Yes. About ten years into our marriage. No children. We had couples counseling and patched things up, but honestly I never fully trusted him again. While he was not (to my knowledge) unfaithful again, I eventually realized that the infidelity was a symptom of his always putting his immediate needs before our needs as a couple — which in turn was a symptom of family background and mental health issues that he was not able or willing to address. We divorced. I wish I trusted my gut feelings and had not waited so long to split.

    12. I found out about my now-ex-husband’s year-long affair after the mistress’s fiance learned about it, found me online and emailed me with screenshots. While I had known something was up with him for months, he claimed to be having a mental health crisis (and also traveled for work). I immediately sought a divorce. This board was super helpful at the time – it was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.

      It’s now many years later and I’m married to a man who is a much better partner to me in so many ways. I’ve never been happier. In retrospect, the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.

      1. I remember your posts at the time and I’m SO happy to hear this update! Go you!!

    13. I have a horrible story which I won’t share.

      My experience is that an affair kills the relationship, but not always the marriage. I took my time to get divorced and I don’t regret it. I did my research, worked with a therapist to create a plan on how to build my life post divorce and managed to get the divorce done in 6 months, spending less than $10k.

      The aftermath has been horrendous but it was always going to be this way. I’m thankful I earn enough to make single parenting work. There are a lot of SAHM stuck in bad marriages.

  6. Is anyone else experiencing this? Tips on how to handle?

    I am a VP of Comms. That’s obviously a writing-heavy job. My boss is Chief Comms Officer — also writing-heavy. And she’s a great writer! But our company has gone all-in on AI and now she is using AI for nearly all of her writing, including things like sending feedback to our team. Real things she’s done recently:

    -Wrote (from her heart — which I know because we talked about it first) an email laying out some feedback for an underperforming team member, and then used Gemini to “refine” it, which now just makes it read like AI rather than like her. And that’s the email she sent the team member — which, if you have any sense of pattern recognition at all, immediately gets clocked as AI.
    – Took a story I wrote (which I truly think is one of my best stories recently!) and, again, dropped it into Gemini — without telling me what she’s prompting Gemini for (meaning I don’t know what she’s asking Gemini to do) — and then rewrote the story based on what Gemini gave her. So once again, it now reads like AI.

    I could keep going but my point is that she’s doing this both for final work products AND for internal emails to her team. And it’s very annoying!! I know I need to raise this with her somehow. I think my primary challenge is that I don’t know what she’s prompting Gemini for, so I can’t tell what she thinks is missing from my drafts. But I also wish she would realize that her writing, including personal stuff, is now very much reading as AI-generated, which, imo, makes it lose effectiveness.

    Advice? Commiseration? This is not an anti-AI post; I think there are elements of it that have significantly helped my/our work! But I guess it’s an anti-AI-without-thinking post…

    1. Just commiseration. My colleagues are using it in emails and not even bothering to adjust the font change- so clearly the email body was copy and pasted and the salutation was not. It usually overcomplicates the communication.

    2. Commiseration, because I am struggling with this at work too. New team member (above me) keeps sending me her notes from meetings, etc, that are “organized and refined by AI.” But I can’t tell if it’s her bad takes, or AI’s additions that are bad! And honestly they’re often longer than if she had just sent me her raw notes.

    3. Commiseration also. We’ve had a whole discussion at work about how too much comms reads as AI flavored, it could impact engagement, bla bla bla. Tue solution? Let’s get better at prompting the AI, because of course we need to use AI.

      1. I’m a comms person, and this drives me CRAZY. I have spent years refining my craft. It’s all a bit insulting.

    4. I would drop by and ask her in person next time you have something for her to edit/approve. Ask her to mark her edits with comments or track changes. You can say that you want to maintain the voice of the piece, and this will help you understand what needs to change.

      When you are a freelancer or something, it’s normal for people to take your work and manhandle it (or in this case, AI-ify it). But you are a high-level person, and an expert, and it’s more normal for edits to be approved or tweaked. It’s a back-and-forth process.

      I also work in communications, and I think it’s sad how people have handed over their thinking to AI. I get everyone is under pressure to use it, but people should be judicious with it. People will tune you out if they believe you are outsourcing your thinking to a machine.

      1. “People will tune you out if they believe you are outsourcing your thinking to a machine.”
        Thank you for this! I felt this but didn’t know how to express it.

      2. Love this idea, but we are actually fully remote :) So I see her in person about every other month for various work travel, but those are usually highly structured events (retreats, workshops, etc) where we don’t have time for our “regular” work because we’re in pre-scheduled meetings. but thank you!

    5. Could you work in a little white lie to get the conversation started? “I was asked about this recent communication being generated by AI” or even a more straightforward “this really reads like AI- did you run it through Gemini? Do you think the clients will care?”

    6. What’s driving this behavior? Is it too much other stuff to do? Is it a company-wide mandate to ‘use AI’ without mapping real, productive uses and articulating what good looks like? Are the incentives all wrong? (E.g. you’re being measured on the number of press releases vs actual earned media or wider impact)

      1. Great Qs. We are all drowning in work (we had RIFs last year but our workloads never rebalanced to accommodate the departures…yay capitalism) and she has something like 3000 unread emails, so I would think she’s using it just to save time. But now that I consider this…it’s almost like she’s using AI in the reverse way that you’re supposed to. She isn’t using it to get first drafts that she then refines…she’s taking final drafts that are already in strong shape and then making AI refine THOSE. I wonder if it will help if I frame it that way to her.

    7. Commiseration here, too. Writing is part of my job. I am a good writer. I recently wrote an article for an industry magazine. I gave it to my boss (a HUGE acolyte of AI) for some feedback. She returned it to me, clearly AI, and clearly with a different objective than I was given. I asked her to take my name off it (I am staunchly anti-AI) as it wasn’t my writing anymore, but she refused. It is like users stop seeing how AI generated text doesn’t read as human .

    8. Commiseration. I am by no means anti-AI, since it helps me significantly with some of my work. But am anti-AI-slop!

      I use AI for drafts which I then change to my own voice. The funny thing is that I used em-dashes in my natural writing a lot, but now that this has become a sign for AI text, I remove my em-dashes. May they RIP.

      I have colleagues who send me decks where the slides are AI-generated – they all look the same weird style, and the worst is that the input text for the slide is sometimes attached in the backup!

    9. Yes, this tracks. Lots of execs are using AI for internal emails, and I think they’re easy to spot, but maybe not so for everyone. My boss uses for regular emails, and I will call it out when they don’t make sense or conflict with other directions or info.

  7. Headed to Rome/Naples for 5 days on Saturday. Weather seems to be in the mid 60s. Would love any outfit suggestions. Definitely bringing Athleta Retreat wide-leg linen pants and Nike K*ll shot sneakers. I was last there in August, so am having to remind myself this is different weather.

    1. Just got back from a Barcelona trip and weather was mid 60’s to high 70’s. MVP Items/outfits were a pair of Athleta ‘travel’ pants which I wore with a bodysuit (Abercrombie – thick, smoothing, and good for a Long torso) or fitted tank, JCrew Gauze long sleeved shirt tucked into jeans with a belt, one piece tank jumpsuit layered with a denim jacket for when it was cool. I packed black and denim and some blue stripes, my heavy layering piece was a long, oversized open knit cardigan/duster in a camel color. For footwear, I would bring a pair of dressy ‘dinner’ shoes, a pair of birks/similar, and then the sneakers.

      Was really REALLY happy with what I had with me – I felt like I matched the overall fashion vibe while being comfortable and feeling like I could really mix and match.

    2. I’ve been in Paris and London and Venice in that weather — would probably wear wider-leg jeans with low-profile sneakers, cute-casual blouse, and a few layers to add or remove during the day (a thin crewneck sweater, cropped trench, lightweight scarf).

    3. The dry weather holds no heat once the sun is down, so bring layers. And bring plenty of sunscreen and enjoy!

    4. I was in those cities around this time several years ago. One of my most useful outfits always a long, sleeveless cotton sweater dress with a cardigan topper (both from Peruvian Connection). It was the perfect weight, didn’t wrinkle, didn’t get dirty, and was great for wearing to dinners without being too fussy for travel.

    5. Layers and one real jacket. I was in Italy in late April one year with similar weather and was freezing with a cardigan and light jacket. It felt much colder than the temperature suggested it should in the mornings and night.

  8. I am visiting London right now. What would be a nice edible souvenir to bring back to the office? I was thinking a big bag of Cadbury individually wrapped chocolates. What would’ve a level nicer than that? Also open to non-edible ideas for family.

    2. The V&A gift shop has William Morris tins of shortbread and some other things, if I’m recalling correctly. The soaps at the V&A are lovely and smell so good, the Fig one is my favorite to the point that I looked into shipping more over here to the States.

      Or you could do a tin of goodies from the department stores—fortnum, Harrod’s, Liberty…all of those seem like good edible gift stores if you want something recognizable as London.

    3. I get the Cadbury bags from the airport and drop them in a big bowl in a main office area. It’s always a hit. Everything else I can think of (tea bags?) is not as good.

    5. I LOVE the Cadbury from London – it’s the real stuff, not the US version. 100% go with that.

      3. It’s not what it used to be (got taken over by a US company). There were a lot of complaints about this year’s Easter eggs. OP – look at Monty Bojangles (supermarket fancy), Hotel Chocolat (medium fancy), or Charbonnel et Walker (very fancy). Non-edible ideas: I do agree with museum gift shops (Tube moquette stuff from the London Transport Museum in Covent Garden is incredibly London without being overtly London) and Liberty prints. Daunt Books or London Review Bookshop tote bags if they’re readers. Parliament has a giftshop if they’re into politics.

    6. Cadbury’s is great. Get it at Tesco or Lidl, not at the airport. Yorkshire Gold teabags for people who like british tea. Green & Black chocolate for more fancy, they also have nice drinking chocolate. Terry’s and cadbury creme eggs.

      M&S for biscuits, the selection boxes are great.

    7. Fortnum & Mason, bag of Kit Kats— you can get it all at the airport on your way out

    8. My husband brought me back chocolate covered almonds from Harrod’s last year and I still think about them. They were maybe the best chocolate treat I’ve ever had.

      1. The best chocolate covered almonds I’ve ever had are from Canadian President’s Choice. They have a medley pack with milk, ruby and dark, very delicious.

    9. Kipling cakes, specifically battenberg, the swirls and Bakewell tarts.

      M&S Colin the caterpillar is great and they have lovely cakes and biscuits a step up from Kipling. The tubs of mini rolls, cornflake covered chocolate squares etc are insanely good.

      I really miss the hot cross buns. Nothing similar here. Toasted with butter, they are AMAZING. Try them!

    1. M&S Tea bags. All the Chocolate. Non-Food? Anything Liberty of London – a friend brought me a tiny sewing kit many years ago and it has lived in my desk (and saved the day!) many times.

    2. Tea! Harrods or Fortnum and Mason both have excellent food halls with a wide selection of all kinds and a selection of tea-adjacent goodies

    3. I have been on a tea towel kick lately while traveling, and they have a huge selection in London.

      1. Yes! The museum shops have excellent tea towels. I also liked the coasters in the museum shop at Houses of Parliament. I got cup coasters that say leader of the house for, honorable lady for my daughters and honorable gentleman for my sons.

        My cat obsessed child loves their Attlee the cat travel mug. The museum shops have excellent mugs made of bone china. I also liked portmerion mugs and kitchenware which can be found at John Lewis.

    1. I am not a cardigan hater. But I’ve never found a summer version that looks like it’s part of an outfit and not “I’m wearing this because of the AC.”
      I work in a casual office, not a formal one.
      I wear . . . a denim jacket, a linen or canvas jacket (I have 3 of them in a style that suits my shape), or a linen blazer.

    3. Right? Look, I know cardigans usually aren’t my best look, but there is a time and place for them.

    4. not a cardigan hater, but I like a denim or canvas jacket for those scenarios

    5. I do like cardigans, but they take a beating in my backpack ( wrinkled mess)

      I have moved onto to carrying a big linen scarf (multicolored small vertical stipes or basic floral on a cream background) both have served me well.

      1. I don’t travel with cardigans (they are either part of the outfit or they aren’t.) I’m ok to just be cold in some instances.

        1. It’s also okay to wear what it takes for you to be comfortable even if it is not the epitome of high fashion.

          1. Maybe. I’m not comfortable with extra “stuff” in my way. I’d rather be cold than fidget with a cardigan in an on again/off again, putting it aside, remembering to bring it back to the car. Just whyyy.

          2. The just why is to be comfortable. I mean, do you manage to carry a purse with you? Keys? Wallet? A phone? Like what activities are you doing that you cannot handle the burden of setting a cardigan to the side and picking it up again.

          4. Some of us find the idea of shivering in the AC without recourse more distracting than just wearing or carrying a layer.

          5. Now I’m just curious. Do you travel with other types of sweaters or outwear that you might take off indoors when it’s cold or cool out? How do you manage that?

          6. Lolol “fidgeting with a cardigan” has to be the most hilarious made-up problem I’ve read in years.

          7. It would be a problem, except I’ve eliminated it! I’m a very light packer, so I accept I won’t have everything I might want.

      1. i hate being cold. i always have a layer with me. i like a jean jacket too but it’s more of a pain to carry.

    8. Depending on how casually I’m dressed, any of the following: Denim jacket. Zip up crochet sweater. Lightweight blazer. Shawl.

    9. I used to wear cardigans and definitely think they all, across the board, look outdated now. Depending on the rest of the outfit — oversized denim jackets, linen blazer-cut jackets, more formal blouses that are open and unbuttoned.

      1. In no universe is an oversized denim jacket more appropriate for any occasion than a standard cardigan.

        1. Sure, there are some occasions where an oversized denim jacket is more appropriate than a cardigan, especially depending on your age. Like, a concert (other than classical music or choral performance a school recital). A trendy cocktail bar. Anywhere remotely hip.

          2. I am sure you know what this word connotes. I am very pro-cardigan, but I certainly would not choose a cardigan over a denim jacket when at a concert. Oversized denim jackets are very in right now.

    11. i do wear a cardigan but this is the ONLY one i’ll wear with a dress:

      the nic & zoe 4 way wrap sweater

      you can tie it 4 different ways but even open looks good. it is more on the thin side though.

  11. Sephora’s sale is on, and I’d like to pick up a facial sunscreen to be used for a mid-day add-on to the base layer of Supergoop I put on before leaving the house. Is powder the way to go here? A spray? Any specific recommendations?

    2. Do you wear makeup? I’ve had this same challenge, what do you wear over makeup without having to redo everything?

      I wear a tinted moisturizer (with spf) and setting powder and setting spray (because I’m oily). I’ve tried supergoop’s spf powder but I didn’t find it to be particularly effective. It also gloops weirdly when layered over my existing makeup. I’ve seen setting sprays that claim to have SPF but the few I’ve tried don’t seem to do much.

      My best recommendation is a hat with a brim. Sorry.

  12. Help me with gift ideas for my friend who’s turning 50! She will celebrate with a small gathering on her recently redone patio – no big party or dinner.

    She is an accomplished professional who travels a lot for work, but likes fancy food (mostly cheese, she’s pescatarian & alcohol, books, supports local businesses etc.). They have a lake house a few hours away from where we live.

    She and her family can buy everything she possibly wants, so I’m looking for something that is reasonably fancy, but also not just a token gift.

    I’ve thought about a monthly cheese subscription, flower subscription, massage voucher, or a gift card to a fancy restaurant near their vacation home. A piece of jewelry maybe, but I have limited time to get this in person, and have given earrings from a local jeweler before.

    I’ve found this cheese-related product – any experience from the hive? https://cheesegrotto.com/pages/cheese-grotto

    1. DH got me a subscription to Appy Hour and I’ve been enjoying it. It’s a LOT of meat and cheese for only two people though! I asked him to drop the subscription to quarterly instead of monthly. You definitely get your money’s worth.

      When you said she redid her patio, the first thing I thought of was a couple of plant stands to keep her potted plants a little bit elevated so they don’t leave marks. I got a bunch of from amazon but I’m sure a place like Terrain has some better quality options.

    2. i would lean away from something useful. how good a friend? this is an ebay opportunity, like a tape of thriller or a vHS of six teen candles….. like a little something to commemorate your age and from when you were young

      1. Just saying if somebody gave me a VHS (or even a cassette tape) I would have no way to play it.

        1. DH and I (both early 40s) together have two or three VHS capable VCRs. They’re dusty and haven’t been plugged in for decades. But what if we need them for an occasion like this commenter suggests?

          I still have some of the OG Disney tapes, including the infamous little mermaid cover. What if LO wants to watch them? Am I supposed to just open Disney+ and deprive him of the ability to watch a VHS???

        3. sorry if this wasn’t clear. you’re not going to play it, you’re going to display it.

        5. Same and there’s a zero percent chance I’m tracking down a VHS player. Who wants that junk.

      2. Great idea, but I don’t think that’s a route I can go, as I’m a few years younger and did not grow up in the US, so any popcultural references from her childhood or youth are probably lost on me.

    3. It does not need to be fancy or expensive. A handwritten card and some flowers are lovely.

  13. Hi! Just replying to the replies about my experience with Ozempic from yesterday.

    “When you experience acute hunger, is that a bloodsugar low and hangry kind of acute, or more gnawing emptyness?” – > Definitely more of a bloodsugar low

    “Do you get less thirsty as well?” – > No I haven’t noticed this.

    I remembered this post because I’m going to eat lunch/first food of the day now instead of risking a migraine later.

    Re: ” I am particularly curious about how maintaining healthy nutrition/muscle bulk and things like bone density may be an issue as eating habits are so altered.” -> I think this is totally possible because I’m not sure I’m eating enough quantity of food to cover everything. I’m trying, but there is only so much you can do in a smaller amount of food.

  14. Our middle school is having a weekend evening parents-only fundraiser with a band, drinks and apps. The theme is Hollywood Movie Premiere. Weather TBD as we are in the Northeast and early May can be everything from still cold to kind of muggy. What would you wear? I think some parents dress up almost as if in costume but that seems like a lot, and I am at a loss for something that nods to the theme but isn’t just a weird Moms’ Halloween.

    1. I’d wear a cute dress that I already own and call it a day, but I am not much for thematic dressing.

    3. definitely some parents will get super in to it but if that’s not your bag don’t worry. i would wear a dressy outfit you already have (jump suit, dress, satin suit). the guests will run the gamut.

    4. In my area, this would be basically adults reliving their prom attire. So everything from black tie formal to sundresses and bedazzled jeans.

      I’d just go with something dressy from my closet that works for the weather that day.

    5. Wear a dressy dress you already have and get a long feather boa or similar dramatic accessory from Amazon or your local party store.

  15. I had posted about pulling your hair back at work yesterday. I think, like most things, the trick to looking polished is it needs to look intentional. Women who keep a part or pull out bangs or tease the front a little look more polished than if it’s all just pulled back and definitely a real barrette or clip looks more polished than the black elastic i wear on my wrist.

  16. I am being driven completely ins@ne by two-factor authentication requirements for every last thing. Steal my info, I don’t GAF, just stopppppppppp.

    1. Nooooooooooo… Optimize your MFA process, use face ID or a thumbprint, etc., just don’t open yourself (or your company) up to modern security threats because you don’t like the extra step.

      1. Don’t use biometrics. And don’t believe all the hype about 2-factor being all that much more secure; “modern security threats” have found ways around it already, but it’s popular because it shifts some of the responsibility elsewhere.

        2. Yeah, no. The solution is definitely not to avoid MFA altogether. Putting your head in the sand doesn’t mean pretending it’s the 1900s.

      2. I’ll do it if people are paying me to do it, but I shouldn’t be forced to do it in my private life. Truly, I do not care if the world finds out that my TSH is 1.47 and my vitamin D is 36 or that my uterus is bicornate. Let me decide when to opt in or out.

        1. Then get yourself in a position where you can determine the regulations that govern healthcare providers. They have a responsibility to protect patient information, whether you care about it yourself or not.

          1. Then they can protect patient information by shoring up their security, not by making me do two factor.

            They can also stop discussing patient information in shared hospital rooms or in the hearing of everyone in the waiting room.

          3. Look. To my chagrin I spent 20 extra minutes messing around with two factor authentication to purchase potting soil last night so I feel you. But you have to understand that two factor authentication is a part of the covered entity’s security protocol. There isn’t more “shoring up” of their security they can do to plug that particular gap. You obviously don’t understand how this works.

          5. You can’t be serious. “Security experts” are implementing federal regulations. They are not making their job your problem. Your access to their system and PHI is point of vulnerability that they are required to secure. This idea that they are simply avoiding a path that would be easier for you to make their jobs easier is baseless. Get over yourself.

          6. The requirements are bad and outdated. I hope enough ADA lawsuits will shut down the charade.

          7. I think patients should have the ultimate decision making power, but yes, I absolutely blame whatever lawyers are telling them they aren’t capable of drafting a waiver that would release any claims related to data privacy issues caused by refusing 2FA.

          8. And I know that my health care system does not require 2FA for certain disabled populations, where it would be a meaningful barrier to access, so 100% compliance is clearly is not central to their security apparatus.

        2. Seriously, a local restaurant in my city requires 2FA to order delivery. I don’t need maximum security for my wonton soup.

      3. I’m happy to have it for areas of real downside (banking, etc). Needing to do it to log into Resy? Nah.

    2. I ranted about this here a couple weeks ago! I will waive my data privacy rights if you stop making me do this! Ugh.

    3. I love that I can pay my sewer bill without even logging in. If someone wants to jailbreak my account and… pay my bill?, go right ahead.

  17. I will be in Prague this summer for 5 days with my two tween boys. Besides the obvious site-seeing stuff, any recs? My kids like history & hiking but are mostly up for anything, as am I. Thank you!

    2. Day trip to Czesky Krumlov. It’s so cool–tour the castle, walk around town, go rafting or kayaking if you want. It’s great and worth the 2 hour bus ride. There are tours that put it all together for you as a bus day trip and it’s fabulous!

  18. The Justin Fairfax story is just so sad (and I hate to lead with his name — it’s everyone else that my heart is breaking for). Those poor children to have to be at home for than and then call police.

    4. i just read about this and i cannot imagine what was plaguing him to do something like that. the poor kids.

      1. He’d been accused of multiple assaults and had experienced multiple mental health issues. They were in the middle of a divorce.

      2. He was well known to be a terrible person for quite some time. Pretty sure that’s why Northam didn’t resign after the scandal of the ancient photos. No one wanted Fairfax to become governor.

  19. when do you add someone you don’t know on linked in? maybe i’m old school but i only do it if i’ve actually worked with or actively know the person

    1. i mostly just accept other peoples but I accept if they are in a tangentially related field. are you looking to grow your network? i don’t think that much about it, i accept everyone except clear spam or people who want to sell me something.

    2. Unless I can see a benefit to myself (i.e., they are a senior executive in my industry and I may cross paths with them professionally), I don’t add strangers who seek to connect. Too many turn into either an unsolicited sales attempt, creeps pretending it’s a dating app, or spammers looking to access my network.

    5. I’ll accept an invite from anyone in my firm even if I don’t know them. I cold call partners in far flung locations all the time when I have a client with a need in their practice area. Maybe that’s my rule – if I would call you and reasonably expect you to pick up the phone or return my call promptly then we’re close enough to be LinkedIn friends.

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