ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Thursday’s Workwear Report: A-Line Dress With Puff Sleeves

A woman wearing a multicolored striped dress with white sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

As the days are getting shorter, my need for bright colors becomes even greater than usual. Fortunately, this dress from Eloquii has ALL the colors. It would make me so, so happy if a person sitting across from me in a 9 a.m. meeting were wearing this — what a joyful way to start the day!

I would wear this with black tights, boots, and understated jewelry, because the dress is really the star here.

The dress is $99 at Eloquii and comes in sizes 14–32.

Sales of note for 12.5

376 Comments

  1. I live in a cold climate and run cold. I am sick of always being freezing when I walk my dog. I tried the Eddie Bauer Sun Valley parka and it does not cut it for me. I’m looking at the Aritzia Super Puff Long or Super Long. Is that likely to be warmer than the Eddie Bauer parka? Does Aritzia ever go on sale?

    1. The Marmot Montreal coat is very warm and slightly cheaper than the Aritzia one. It also goes on sale regularly.

      1. Ooh, I also have a Marmot which did really well in the cold! Forgot about that one.

      2. Marmot coats are excellent. I’m still kicking myself for not buying one that I saw locally a few years ago, but I didn’t have the funds at the time. And of course I can’t remember the style name. It fit me perfectly, though. :(

    3. Following….I bought the Eddie Bauer based on recommendations here and I’ve been wearing it at 30-40 degrees in my Midwest city and it is FREEZING. I’m so bummed and not sure what I’m going to do when it gets actually cold. I was also eyeing the Aritzia’s earlier but have heard they never go on sale.

    4. They’re almost identical; just the Aritzia is more fashion-forward (which often doesn’t bode well for durability as compared to something more utilitarian). I’d stick with what you have and add more layers underneath.

    5. I swelter in the Lands’ End squall (long version) even at minus twenty Celsius in snowy Ottawa on 120 minute walks in wind. It’s very cheap with LE discounts (basically always 40-60% off).

    6. Have you tried Land’s End or LL Bean? Those are the coats that kept me warm living in North Dakota. (Also my husband’s Carharrt, if that’s of interest to you.)

    7. Are you wearing a good hat and scarf? Warm shoes? i was always cold until I started to wear all the cold weather accessories and now am mostly always comfortable.

      1. This. Staying warm is much less about the jacket and much more about what you wear with it. Hat, mittens, scarf, socks, shoes/boots, pants, sweater, long underwear. Layers and covering all exposed skin is key!

      2. I wonder if this coat has gotten thinner in recent years? Mine are from 2017 (I have two) and they are very warm and windproof. I second that you need warm pants and good boots, as well as earmuffs/scarf/hat/gloves or mittens.

        I used to wear this coat daily to walk my dog all over Boston and to walk to work (1.2 miles). It was warm enough to wear down to zero (not freezing–zero fahrenheit). Is where you are much colder than that, OP?

    8. Are you layering? IME, even the best coat won’t be warm enough if you’re wearing, like, a t-shirt underneath.

    9. I recommended the Artizia Oskar parka the other day. I’ve had mine for five years and it’s in good shape. Aritzia is a Canadian brand and those folks understand cold weather. But their coats rarely go on sale, if ever. In the meantime wear a thick scarf tucked under your jacket. Keeping your chest warm makes a big difference.

    10. Have you tried wearing three or more pairs of pants, and then four or five shirts before adding the jacket? Two hats? That is the only thing that works for me anymore with cold climate living when it gets to be thirty below zero or more. Watch some YouTube videos on dog musher attire, and they do the same/similar layering. You just need to add more and more layers and as it gets colder and colder. Also try Wim Hof techniques for this time of year to get your internal thermostat better adjusted again.

    11. Also, there are different Sun Valley offerings. Did you get the one with the lowest temp range?

    12. I find my Soia and Kyo puffer to be very warm (warmer than Eddie Bauer). I have the Camelia-C. On the coldest days, I would wear a wool sweater or thin fleece underneath if I were you.

      1. +1 – I’ve been evangelizing that coat for the last few years after buying it in a fit of desperation after one too many outdoor skating/hockey games. It is SO warm and looks polished enough to wear to work (not that I care if we’re in an arctic blast). I’ve converted many friends to the brand as it’s as warm as the Canada Goose but much less $$.

    13. What else are you wearing? I am freezing from now until April. Besides my coat, I need to cover my head and ears, a scarf, fleece lined tights or leggings, cold weather socks, warm boots.

    14. I’m in the same boat and have found that layering a heated vest under my coat keeps me warmer than anything else.

      1. I love my heated vest so much. Someone on this board recommended it to me and I am so grateful for that!

    15. Upstate New Yorker here – I run cold all the time too and found that a number of things together make a difference. Coat length is important; getting a down parka that covered below the knees matters. Too short is useless. Also, insulated gloves, warm hat (always), shoes with wool socks, and scarf. I look a bit like the Michelin man when I’m walking around the neighborhood in the dead of winter but I’ve been doing it for a few years now, every day. Yeah, I look a little silly but I’m warm.

      1. If you live somewhere really cold you likely need more than a few coat options. I have short sporty parkas for wearing with snow pants when skiing/hiking/snow shoeing, long parkas for wearing daily on the dead of winter, mid-weight waterproof jacket (the Barbour Beadnell with a vest) for wet but not frigid days, Patagonia puffers for when I want warm plus light (long car trips/stuffing into a bag, etc.). One coat rarely works for every kind of weather.

    16. If you truly care about performance, why wouldn’t you buy a coat from an outdoor gear brand instead of a fashion brand?

    17. No coat will solve this. You need a heating element plus this insulated coat. Try Ororo. The heated vest was recommended to me on this site and it is a game changer.

    18. For me, it’s a lot about wearing warm underlayers to keep the heat close to my body. So a wool undershirt and leggings under everything.

  2. Looking for favorite fall salad recommendations! Either as a side or main entree.

    1. kale, sweet potato, roasted cauliflower, beets, lentils, and almonds + balsamic is my current addiction!

    2. Half baked harvest kale harvest salad…..kale, maple cinnamon roasted pepitas, crumbled baked prosciutto, feta, thinly sliced honey crisp apples. It’s ins@nely delicious.

    3. Roasted delicata squash over arugula with either dried cranberries or pomegranate seeds with a maple-mustard vinegarette.

      Also, my kids are currently obsessed with old school Caesar salad. Not specifically fall but.. a good Caesar salad with homemade dressing? Hard to beat.

      1. Caesar is always popular for us, too. I usually make the dressing and the croutons but was short on bread and parmesan last week and did the NYT grilled Romaine which was really excellent.

    4. My favorite food truck has a salad with roasted sweet potatoes or beets on micro greens with candied pecans and a maple balsamic dressing

    5. Smitten kitchen has a new one that sounds great, apples and baked cheddar bits and other things with kale.

    8. Mixed greens, roasted butternut squash, honeycrisp or pink lady apples, pecans, and apple cider vinaigrette. Extra delicious if you make your own croutons: slice a baguette into a small pieces. Toss with olive oil, salt, garlic powder, and lots of black pepper. Bake on a sheet pan for a few minutes until golden.

    9. I’ve been doing a takeoff on a salad Nandos used to sell – sweet potatoes, pickled onions, roasted corn, raisins, in a balsamic vinaigrette, if you need a little juice for it. Easy to make substitutions.

    10. kid tested, firefighter approved collard apple salad. we can eat it weekly and not get bored. never met anyone who dislikes it.

    12. I just made a Warm Winter Salad with Halloumi from Bon Apetit and it was really good and very easy to make. Mix winter squash, red cabbage, red onion with olive oil and aleppo pepper and garlic. Roast for 20 mins. Add torn up pieces of pita bread and cubes Halloumi. Roast another fifteen minutes til the outa is crispy and the Halloumi is golden. Drizzle with red wine vinegar and sprinkle on mint. Enjoy. It was really good. We ate it as a main, but I can also see it as a Thanksgiving side.

  3. What warmer tops do you wear with joggers? I usually do a shirt and Jean jacket but it’s getting colder now.

    1. The younger people I’m seeing are wearing cropped sweatshirts, ribbed bodysuits/crop tops and then bigger shirt jackets/flannel shirts over them. The old lady in me tries very, very hard not to tell them how darling they look and that I wore the same thing back in my teens. Which, tbh, is also why I am NOT wearing that look now.
      I run cold so when it gets cold enough for layers I’ll wear joggers with a shorter (hip length) fitted workout top, a close-fitted hoodie, and then a puffer vest over that. That’s more or less what the ‘moms’ are wearing for running around town/after the gym type of errands if it’s not frigid. When it dips into proper cold weather (lots of snow, temps in the teens or lower) everyone just wears parkas or similiarly warm gear.

      1. So funny, I was just looking at my 21 year old daughter’s wish list online. Cropped sweatshirts galore. Also, short Uggs. Uggs are having a moment again apparently.

    2. long-sleeved t-shirt, sweatshirt, hoodie, pullover sweater, chunky cardigan, turtleneck

    3. “Cozy” or plush shirts. Slightly heavier and softer than a tshirt. I also love the Coaster Luxe sweatshirts from Athleta.

  5. Planning a Girls Trip with three of my friends in Savannah GA in May. What should we do and where should we stay?

    1. Savannah is a great location for a girls trip! I did one there a few years ago. We stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn in the historic district. It was affordable and in a good location and has a pool.

      Definitely eat at Collins Quarter and get drinks on the roof of The Grove.

      We did a terrible ghost tour (sadly I don’t remember the name) but I have heard there are good ones.

      I loved Savannah and definitely can’t wait to go back!

    3. My husband and I visited Savannah this past July. We stayed at the Mansion on Forsyth Park hotel and would highly recommend it – nice room, liked the hotel bar, friendly and helpful staff. We had amazing meals at two restaurants – Husk and Local 11ten. You can spend a full day just walking around the historic district and touring a couple of the several historic homes that are open to the public. We did a ghost tour, but I thought it was boring and not worth the money.

    4. Love Savannah!
      I have also stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn and it was a good spot. I know there are boutique/historic hotels as well, but I can’t recommend a specific one.

      The Paris Market is a beautiful store!

      I love doing ghost tours in cities like Savannah. The key is to find one that is a good balance of history/knowledge and spookiness. When we were last there we did one with Blue Orb Tours (according to my Yelp history) and really liked it. It was a walking tour – the carriage and hearse drawn ones aren’t that great, according to friends.

    5. We stayed at the Marshall house over New Years many years ago and enjoyed it. It’s “haunted” but a beautiful historic hotel in a great spot. Dinner at the olde pink house was quite good too.

    1. I’m so sorry. Today is probably going to be terrible. But it won’t always be terrible. Come back on here and check in with us later today or tomorrow and we’ll do our best to encourage you. Hugs!

      1. Yes – take care of yourself today, don’t freak out too much. Take what you need from your office. Take stock of your career tomorrow morning or later this week, not today.

    2. Oh no – so sorry!! There have been posts in the past about what to do in terms of next steps and hopefully others can chime in. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Sending you good vibes to get through this. I will post more later if others aren’t able to chime in with tips. Hang in there!!

    3. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. I’m sure others on this board have been there. It is horrible. And you get through it.

    4. Hug. Repeat: “My worth is about more than my job. I am a smart, caring, valuable person and nothing changes that.”

      Check back in around lunch time. Post your location if you feel comfortable. Post a burner email if you want a Starbucks gift card for a holiday drink (out today!).

      1. That’s so kind of you, thank you. I’m in Canada so I don’t know if the gift card would translate. But I really appreciate the offer. Thank you.

        1. Since you are in Canada, don’t forget about notice pay. And don’t sign anything waiving it until you have time to investigate whether it is reasonable and/or in line with the statute.

    5. this sucks and I’m sorry. First, take the next 45 minutes and write down the contact names of anyone you are looking to stay in touch with. Take a note of things like your HR contact, any external contacts you’d like to reach out to, and any colleagues you want to keep in touch with.

      It will not always be bad – it gets better, I promise. For today, allow it to suck. Keep your body safe – we are more than just our occupation. Come back on to check in please.

      1. If you have good technical skills, quickly export your contacts but leave everything else. If you have a company phone, back it up immediately before they wipe it. Be sure to ask about severance package, cobra, entitlement to a partial bonus payment that you might have been entitled to soon.

        Hang in there. It’s going to suck but we are here for you.

        1. All of the above plus file for unemployment and give yourself the weekend to chill. Don’t start updating your resume this weekend! Wait until Monday then hit the ground running.

        2. I’m sure I’m coming in late here but – save whatever files you can as quickly as you can. When I was laid off in August, I had kind of seen it coming but the actual day they chose to do it came as a surprise. I had backed up some of my files to use as later work samples, but missed some things and I really regret it now. I don’t have a couple of files that were really excellent work samples I could provide to future employers in interviewing, and it’s a bummer.

          OP – today (and maybe tomorrow, and maybe the weekend) are going to be bad days. But better days are ahead and you need to have faith in yourself that you will get through this temporary crisis and come out the other side a stronger person. I know this feels terrible, but it’s going to be okay. Big hugs.

    6. Oh, I am so very sorry. Wallow as long as you need to. This, too, shall pass. And hopefully you find a position that is a better fit in the long run!

    7. I’ve been there. More than once. Take care of yourself it will get better I promise.

    8. Sending many internet hugs! You won’t feel horrible forever, but I’m sorry it feels so bad right now. ((hugs))

    9. Thank you everyone for your kind words. I was indeed fired and it was awful. My chemistry with this boss was off from day one and she was always so cold to me (she also apparently has a reputation for being difficult to work with). So I’m sort of relieved I don’t have to deal with her anymore but I still feel sick and like a total failure.

      1. Aw, OP, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t fired from my first job but nearly so… jumped before they could push me. I wasn’t a total failure then and you aren’t a total failure now.

        And if you were even the tiniest bit serious about wanting to die in the post above, please call the crisis lifeline at 988 — they care and they will help you!

      2. I was let go almost a year ago when my boss was promoted and then hired someone above me who was also cold from day one. I realize now that it was probably by design. I only say this because it feels so deeply personal, especially if you’re used to being a high performer. But a little distance and you’re likely to start to realize there may have been very few if any ways to succeed from the outset. You are through the worst of it now. And I hope for you that next year you’re like me where you are somewhere new and thriving in ways you didn’t even realize had been possible before. The next few days may be a whirlwind of colleagues reaching out and feeling a little unhinged. But before you know it you’ll be on your new track and doing even better than before. Sending you all the kind thoughts today. I hope you’re able to go for a walk and treat yourself to a fancy coffee and nice pastry and listen to some great music and just soak in that you are so much more than a job and always have been.

        1. I will just add that everyone deserves a normal, decent boss, who will leave their ego and whatever petty grudges before they enter the office building. People come to work to do a good job, <1% come to work to fake it in and every manager should remind themselves this daily and be a decent person.
          OP, today was not about you or reflection of you as a person/employee. You will find an amazing job and an amazing boss – as they will be the one to choose you through interviews. So it will be only better. Be ready for lengthy recruitment process and don't take any rejections personally. It will work out in the end. Sending many hugs.
          Signed, have been job searching for the last 6 months

      3. In times like this, I think about Simu Liu’s (the actor that plays Shang Chi) instagram post a few months back about being fired from Deloitte ultimately being the best thing that ever happened to him even though it felt like his life was over at the time. Maybe you won’t be the next Marvel movie star, but things will get better.

      4. If you are comfortable, post what city or province you are in and what you do tomorrow. You never know who is reading. Big hug from another Canadian.

    10. It’s over!! You survived the convo and you will survive what’s next. Please allow yourself time to grieve, but also know this is something the best of us have gone through and come out on the other side.

      Big hugs.

    13. Oh honey, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I have been fired 3 times in my career, and felt devastated and like I wanted to die all 3 times. But the truth is, each time I got fired I moved onto a much better opportunity. My spouse says I’m the literal definition of failing up. Everything always turned out better than ok, and it will for you too. Hang in there, friend.

    14. OP, I’ve been fired, and it stinks. I also found out over the next few months how many people I knew in real life have been fired and went on to have great careers. It’s way more common than you think, but it’s not something people tend to advertise until you’re in the club.

      Anyways, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It may be hard to see right now, but careers are long, and you’ll end up with a great one. Give yourself a break this weekend, and take some time to regroup.

    15. I was fired at the beginning of the pandemic and I’m now in a much better job that doesn’t have new sitting in the parking lot dreading going into the building. I hope you have time to find a really great position that’s a better fit for you. I know how upsetting it is. Take some time to just feel the feelings before you try making plans to start something new. Hugs to you.

  7. Seeing some cute IG ads for Marine Layer brand clothing. Anyone have experience with this brand?

    2. I love Marine Layer!! Their whole “thing” is being super soft and they deliver IMO. I think my husband once had a sweater that didn’t wash super well (pilled) but otherwise we both love the brand and have a bunch of their stuff.

    3. Yes, I love them. It isn’t just an internet company, we have an actual store in my medium sized town. High quality tees and dresses, though they run somewhat small I think.

      1. I find the dresses and pants to run small, tops and outerwear to run true-to-size.

    4. I love Marine Layer from afar, as it’s not in my budget. But yes, they have a store in my city as well – it’s definitely a “real” company. I’ve been in the store a few times to check out sales and everything seems well made.

  8. I soon hope to receive an offer for a role with a new company. I’m comfortable negotiating salary and benefits. But if this all works out I’ll be leaving behind my annual bonus for this year (up to 15% of my current salary). How do I work compensation for potentially losing the bonus into my negotiation discussion? What’s the right time to bring it up?

    2. When you’re talking numbers. Most companies will do a sign on to keep you whole, pretty common especially this time of year.

      1. +1, this also could come up when talking start date. “If you’d like me to start before year-end, I’d be forgoing a $X bonus.” And then let them talk.

      2. +2, I was in this exact situation last year and my new company said it was fine for me to stay through the EOY so I could collect my bonus (I was moving from firm to in house, so I didn’t expect them to make me whole).

    3. I’m expecting to receive a $__ bonus in December 2022. Would NewCo be willing to pay me $1/2__ in recognition that I’m leaving behind that opportunity?

      They may not pay you full freight, but the company may be wiling to do some sort of signon to help you.

          1. This was by far the best advice I ever heard from Ask a Manager. State your counteroffer (I’m so exicted about the offer but I was hoping for $XXX base and to be made whole on my bonus which would be X and then STOP TALKING. It feels SO uncomfortable (and I had to role play it out loud and write it down to make myself stick to this script) but it works brilliantly.

      2. Do not ask for half. This has happened to me twice. I got my full bonus amount turned into a signing bonus both times.

  9. Is anyone watching Love is Blind, season 3? What do y’all think of the couples? I think the new season is so much better than the last one. I am rooting for Zanab and Cole, and I see huge red flags with Matt! I haven’t watched all of the new episodes yet but I am glad to see Colleen questioning things! And Alexa and Brennan seem like the real deal to me!

    1. My hot takes:
      Matt is a huge RED FLAG wrapped in a man’s body.
      I love Nancy but don’t think Bartise is right for her. I like Zanab but she needs some serious therapy – her confidence is a disaster and Cole is not helping.
      SK needs to run far away from Raven!
      Alexa and Brennon seem like the only couple that actually has staying power.

    2. I am I am I am!
      I am rooting for Raven and SK and Alexa and Brennan. Agree that Matt is a ticking bomb.

    3. I made it halfway through episode 3 before I just turned it off. It feels like folks just wanted to get engaged, and once they connected outside the pods they were terrible. I will be very surprised if anyone from this season actually makes it.

    4. I’ve only watched the first episode, but I’m enjoying this season so far. I love Alexa and Brennan. I hate Cole so far, though, so I wonder if my feelings will change as it progresses?

    5. Barftisse, Matt, and Cole are competing to be The Worst Ever. Matt clearly has a drinking problem (you’ll understand more by episode 8) and Bartisse / Cole are just awful partners to their respective finances. I hope Zaneb and Nancy both realize they’re worth more than the man-babies they are with. Raven slowly grew on me and now I’m a fan, and I liked SK right away. I think Brennan and Alexa care a lot about each other but their backgrounds are very different and I’m not sure they’re set up for long term success after the novelty wears off.

      1. This is spot on. Cole, Bartise and Matt are the type of men that women complain about on this board all the time. It’s horrifying, and entertaining, to watch it unfold on television. I’m watching the wedding episodes tonight!

        If I had to guess, I think Alexa and Brennan are the only 2 that are going to make it.

        1. I think it was Bartise and Cole who went on about how another woman was so hot. Didn’t Bartise say his fiancé was a 9 and someone else was a 10?

          1. That was Cole. He didn’t understand why his fiance was mad – “but I said you’re a 9! Most other girls I wouldn’t even rate above a 7!” Bartise is the one you told his finance, Nancy, that another girl – Raven – “was so hot, I’d definitely go up to her in a bar, she’s a smoke show, she’s exactly my type …” etc etc.

  10. Recent discussion re: cashmere joggers has me wondering – I feel as though I tried them on a hundred years ago and did not buy b/c they were so thin. That meant that while they were soft, they were not actually very warm, and second, that they showed every bump and lump on my rear and saddle baggy thighs. Setting aside the issue of whether I should care about the latter, are the current crop the same? Soft, rather than warm, and a little bit like a second skin in terms of being revealing? Appreciate thoughts from current wearers.

    1. Depends on what brand, but they’re nothing I’d wear out of the house. More PJ adjacent than pants adjacent.

    3. They’re strictly pajamas/in the house wear

      You never know what people are going to wear out of the house, but since you’re here and you’re asking, it’s clear you care!

      1. (When I say that I am remembering the young woman who wore Spanx footless tights as pants to work)

  11. So fully aware this issue is a nothing burger but it still annoys me, so here’s my rant. I have a colleague who considers themselves idk a nomad or something, but definitely not a local despite living in our city a whole 7 years. Anytime I mention ‘the city’ ‘our city’ etc she will make some sort of ‘not my city’ quip and it’s just….. exhausting. The only way to mitigate this is to mention the city by name, which is linguistically clunky and difficult to remember in the moment. (This isn’t an issue if being born here since none of the ‘locals’ myself included are actually born here either)

    1. What? How is it linguistically clunky to say “I’m going into Boston tomorrow” instead of “the city?” I find the latter more weird tbh.

      Also, don’t judge someone for not feeling at home. I moved to a new city four years ago and it is not and never will be home, a feeling shared by many of the people who moved here (usually for faculty jobs or as spouses of faculty).

      1. You should come to San Francisco. We all just say The City. I have literally stood in Manhattan and used the term “The City” to refer to San Francisco.

        2. I think everyone who lives in a major city calls their city, The City. My sister lives in Chicago and does it.

          Except in DC, they call it The District.

      2. Yup. I immediately knew that OP was talking about San Francisco when she said “Linguistically clunky” and not naming the City. It’s 100% a thing to say “the City” in the Bay Area and we all know what that means: SF.

        1. Then she should have said so. San Fran is big enough that this wouldn’t out her – she isn’t talking about Billings MT or something. It also helps with giving advice. My script would be: “Here in SF, ‘the City’ means downtown SF. It’s like (insert analogy here).” When it happens again, “Cheryl, we’ve been over this. Learn local dialect already.”

    3. is she from the NYC metro area? (Most people I know got over this in college, but to them saying “the city” should only and forever mean NYC specifically… whatever)

      1. That’s what makes this so frustrating, she’s from rural Canada, her hometown I’m pretty sure is so small it’s not legally considered a town AND she’s 40ish, so way too old for this.

        1. That makes it seem like she says “not my city” to emphasize that she’s still rural at heart, like “the city” wouldn’t ever be home no matter what city you’re talking about. I’d be just as annoyingly repetitive back to her. Every time she says “not my city” you could reflexively reply “well it’s the city you’re in”. Not in a snarky way, but more to jokingly emphasize her constant refrain.

    4. That would get under my skin, too, even thought it’s silly. I’d pause, give her a puzzled slight frown, and then continue on.

    5. OMG, this would irritate me, but remember this shows more about her than about you. She needs to feel special and seems her value is not tied to her person but to “her city”. If she calls that out again, I would say “obviously I mean the city we are living in” and ignore her. Signed, have lived in 5 countries and have never been a jerk about it.

      2. hard agree. ‘Karen, you know exactly which city we are talking about’. She is ridiculous.

      1. Yeah, I would visibly eyeroll at her and keep going. Maybe she’ll stop if she doesn’t get the response she wants.

        And to all of you hating on New Yorkers calling NYC “the city” when we’re in other places, please think about how it would sound if we said “New York City” every time. When traveling, I have this exact conversation a lot:

        Person in place I’m visiting: Where are you from?

        Me: New York

        Person: Oh, where in New York?

        Me: The city

    8. As someone from NYC, who has lived in a bunch of different places this would drive me batty too. Part of the fun of moving somewhere is figuring out what things are called — like saying I’m going to the Giant instead of the grocery store, or the District instead of DC, or the Mass Pike instead of whatever number highway it actually is. Sounds like she doesn’t enjoy getting to know where she lives. Her loss.

    9. Are you one of those people who refers to NYC as “THE city”? If so, she may actually think *you* are the one who is being ridiculous.

      1. No we don’t live in NYC, the context of this particular annoyance was discussing going out, evening entertainment and I said ‘the city has too many pubs, I wish we had more interesting types of bars like tiki’

      2. Is that so crazy? I always hear people in NYC region referring to NYC as “the city”, at least while they’re in the geographic vicinity. It feels more pretentious to say I’m from manhattan if I’m visiting CT and someone asks where I live. If I’m visiting Ca, I will tell people I live in NYC, not “the city”, so maybe context matters here

        1. Agreed. People in Brooklyn call going into Manhattan going to the City. In NNJ it’s definitely the City. I don’t see how it’s pretentious, it’s just nomenclature.

    10. OMG I would hate this, too, but clearly she’s not going to stop doing it.

      Maybe every time she does it you can stop, and look at her like she’s out of her mind, and say, slowly and patiently, “St. Louis, Karen. The city we’re in. Right now.” Or just roll your eyes.

    11. Have you ever asked her what she means or why she does that? Probably not worth it but might be interesting to see how she responds

  12. Independent contractors – how do you talk about PM roles? I recently got my first, and wanted to celebrate the move but am weary as I’m just an independent contractor, in a small-ish company, where I’ll be managing other independent contractors, but also being the point-of-contact for clients. Feels like talking about it could just invite people poking holes that it’s not a “real” PM role for a combination of factors, even though I don’t know what else I’d call it. Thoughts?

    1. Oh any PM worth their salt knows there’s a range of roles and that the title alone really matters! I’m a product manager, not program, but my start in product was like half business analyst. A lot of us have that kind of story, since it’s not like PM is a degree. Your win counts and is cool!

    2. As a fellow titled PM who doesn’t feel like a “real” PM, it’s been helpful to learn that PM is a big tent role. You belong, and you’re welcome into this tent. You’re a PM. Congratulations, you’re the real deal!

  13. The other night I was cooking up a pound and a half of bacon for my family of five, and it reminded me of the vegetarian (or kosher maybe) poster who got irritated with her MIL for always bringing a pound of bacon to share with the rest of her family. That thread made me laugh so hard. What are some of your favorite comment threads from the past?

      1. That poster wasn’t kosher! Or even vegetarian I don’t think. She was just mad at her MIL for giving her kids bacon. It was very silly.

        1. Yeah, I don’t remember the details, just that she felt like it was the MIL’s “thing” with the kids that she couldn’t be a part of. But what got me was she treated it as SO MUCH BACON when it was literally less than my family eats at a standard brinner.

          3. Bacon is serious business in my house. We do indeed have discussions of its quality out of the package, how it cooks up, the flavor…

          4. I remember! There were people commenting “a pound of bacon!! That’s so much” and then other people commenting that a pound of bacon is one 16 oz standard package, and then everyone was like “a pound is nothing!”

          5. I am not a huge bacon person – I like it in some recipes but I’m not one of the people who are obsessed with bacon, but isn’t 1lb just a standard package?

          7. 2 adults and 2 teens? One package is just enough but not too much by anyone’s standards. Not enough by several people’s standards.

      2. She was vegetarian (not kosher) and she was not raising vegetarian kids or keeping a vegetarian home. She just felt like her MIL was bringing bacon *at* her.

        Which, TBH, might have been the case? Impossible to tell from the post but I def have known some people whose MILs would be that petty…

      3. She wasn’t Kosher! I’m Jewish (albeit secular and not Kosher) and I know I would have had a different reaction to that post if it had been a religious issue. She was vegetarian but she wasn’t upset about her kids having meat or meat being in her home. She was feeling “left out at meals” which is pretty weird IMO.

        2. I’m the OP, Bacon Granny is my MIL, and so pleased that its on people’s minds! I loved reading everyone’s perspectives on the original post, it definitely helped me consider things from different angles. I am a Hindu vegetarian. I dont impose my diet on my kids, but I dont cook meat in the house. BG visited recently, and brought her signature 2lb tub of cooked bacon. I am slightly more chill about it since the post but it definitely feels personal (in context with other things).

          3. OP, I remember your post well. I sympathized with you though I didn’t comment on the original thread. It’s weird for your MIL to bring bacon to your household. It’s not particularly respectful or kind, and it so doesn’t model how to treat people respectfully.

          5. I’m definitely with you on this OP. I agree that it’s better to just go along with it and let granny and kids have their fun, but it’s definitely not a nice way to treat your DIL and show that you respect and care about her.

    2. At least once a week, I think about the poster with two roommates, one of whom wanted to charge the other two for time spent wiping down the sink.

      2. Haha, that was me! That roommate has a lot of anxiety and control tendencies she’s in therapy for, and after we had a difficult feelings talk, it feels like it’s wound down. Appreciated so much everyone telling me it wasn’t normal!!

    3. There are very few where the responses are unanimous, so the thread about whether to train or fly from DC to NY – 100% Amtrak – always stands out in my memory, lol.

      I love update threads. I’m always wondering how someone’s house renovation turned out, whether they DTMFA, if the script advice for addressing a weird work interaction turned out well, etc.

      1. Same here – I often wonder how things have turned out for everyone! Was there ever an update from the poster who found evidence of an affair (I think it was a scrapbook or something) while her husband was out of town?

      2. I posted about a year ago about renovating our older home with an all white kitchen. We ended up hiring a designer and our reno just finished. We love it. Went with a grey-green for the shaker cabinets, white quartz with marbling, a textured white subway tile backsplash (and part quartz backsplash), brass hardware/fixtures, and slate stone floors. Super happy with how it turned out, and it looks classic but also definitely updated.

    4. HA that bacon story was hysterical. Not a happy thread but I wonder what happened to Super Anon. She wanted to give her husband the benefit of the doubt but kept discovering more lies he had told her. I hope she got out of that marriage. When you uncover one lie there are always more.

    5. The poster who’s (probably still) waiting for her affair partner to leave his family

      1. Wasn’t she pretending that it was a story about a relative at first? Or a friend? Did she ever admit what was actually going on or did it just become more transparent over time?

        1. They posted under several identities, but with the same weird syntax. Honey, the kids are never going to like you if you broke their parents marriage.

        2. She never admitted it but there were maybe 4-5 posts over a couple of weeks that were clearly all from the same person wanting her affair partner to leave his wife and two preteen girls.

        3. Oh yeah, that one was so weird. And every time she posted the story from a new angle pretending it was different, people were like “oh, you again. He’s not going to leave his wife.”

          I don’t think she got what she was looking for here.

          I may not be the most sympathetic person around though. I got banned from AITA for using the word “deadbeat” and I stand by what I said.

    6. I’ve said before that I often remember the judgmental commenter who was scandalized by people’s wine drinking habits. “No wonder you’re all always posting about your budget and your weight!”

      Right now I’m a little curious about how things went with the smelly, slovenly but otherwise pleasant mentee. It came to mind when I was watching Mr. Mayor (where zillennials being basically gross is a bizarre recurring punchline).

    7. I really liked the recent one about the unexpectedly ugly bridesmaid dress. The pictures did not disappoint!

      1. Thank you for posting this. I didn’t know there were pics but I just found them. Wow!

      2. The fact that we got a picture of it made it particularly excellent. And it was more horrible than I was imagining.

      1. NGL I am mostly amazed that was long enough ago that Birkins were ‘only’ $5k (back in the early aughts I think? that is from the blue nailpolish/’the skirt’/rubber bands on wrist time period). The appreciation of Birkins really does outpace the stock market….

      2. I just read this novel Counterfeit about two women in the industry of high-end counterfeit bags and Birkins are name dropped a lot so the whole time I kept thinking about the intern with the Birkin. According to that novel, Birkins start at $14k but maybe times have changed.

      1. Sometimes she makes an appearance in the New York Times comments section under a different pseudonym! The content and wording is unmistakeable.

      2. Dude, she still posts here, but they don’t make it out of moderation until really late. Go back and look at old ones and she’s there! It’s baffling to me that she continues to post even when no one sees them.

      3. I love Ellen. Seriously. That is some commitment to a bit. Hilaria Baldwin level commitment.

    10. I will always love the thread from a few years ago where someone received a speeding ticket and they wanted to contest it. Part of their logic was their car was heavy and they were traveling downhill, hence the speeding, instead of you know applying the brakes. Please tell me someone else remember this?!

      1. I remember it! Probably because it reminded me of the time I had to go to court for a speeding ticket and there was another person there contesting her speeding ticket because she was “late for a test at school”. The judge gave her a fine much greater than what she would have received if she just said “Guilty”.

    11. I think about the poster who asked what to wear on a long road trip because people would see her at rest stops, so she couldn’t possibly wear leggings. And the junior associate who wanted to go on the canoe trip in a swamp where she’d be unreachable for some amount of time.

      1. Oh yeah that junior associate did not seem long for Big Law (I say that as someone who left Big Law myself because I wanted a life and off the grid vacations).

    12. Long time Anon here. I’m so relieved none of my questions made it to this list. I’m sure I’m not alone!!

      And yes, I’m laughing. :)

    13. I still think about the husband who thought the house they just bought was gross because it was “used”. That one still blows my mind.

      1. Oh I do think of that sometimes when I’m working on something in my “used” house.

      2. Hahhaha, I loved that one too! Has almost made me feel like houses can be used now too…

    14. Not my favorite, but one I can’t forget: the commenter whose husband, when going #2, went all over the toilet, including up the tank (including at guest homes) and never cleaned it up. I can’t even. I complain about socks all over the floor… talk about putting that in perspective.

  14. Question about recruiters (external search firms). Just got an email this morning from someone at an executive search firm saying my LinkedIn profile matches what their client is looking for, please respond with your resume if you are interested. (going to have to check my LI to see if my email address is on there somehow; I would be less weirded out by getting a LI message/request to connect)

    This has never happened to me before. I am of course skeptical (the search firm is real). Is this how recruiters fish for resumes? Or is this legit how these interactions go? If I respond asking for more info without sending a resume (I always tailor it for each position and have only a vague idea what type of position they’re reaching out about), am I just going to get an angry response that I didn’t follow their directions by sending a resume? If they did that, I’d write them off anyway for being dumb and rude, but I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot if that’s really typical protocol for these kinds of interactions.

    1. LI is a huge recruiting tool used by HR departments everywhere. Whether this is a bug or feature depends on the individual.

    2. This is very common. I would send your most recent resume and the recruiter will share it with the hiring manager. This is how recruiters find candidates that might otherwise not be active in the job market.

    3. I wouldn’t send my resume without further details like the name of the company and the job description.

    4. I got my last job through a recruiter on LinkedIn. Just make sure they are at a reputable company and send your resume to them via email to make sure.

    5. Yes, this is very common. If they hunted down your email, more power to them. They probably get better response to emails sent directly than contacts sent through LinkedIn. And yes, you should feel free to reach out to ask more about the job they are recruiting for. If they are foolish enough to not meaningfully engage with that request, then write them off for sure, but I doubt that will be the result. Why wouldn’t they want an opportunity to interact with a good candidate and get a better, tailored resume to send forward?

    6. This is exactly what Linked In is for, why would you be skeptical? And no, you won’t get an angry email, you’ll just get left on read.

      1. I know this is what LI is for, I was really asking about the protocol once a recruiter reaches out. Is it normal for them to demand a resume before sending a job description, is it expected that I ask for more info before sending a resume or expected for me to just hand over a generic resume that is not tailored for a position, is it normal for them to somehow send me a direct email instead of reaching out via LI, etc. Was my post not clear about that?

        1. It may be normal for them to ask for the resume first, but I wouldn’t provide it. I posted below – make sure you know what the job is before sharing, and be very very specific about what your resume is to be used for.

    7. was it to your work email? Work email addresses are super easy to guess – if you know one person’s, you know the usual formula (like is it firstlast, first.last, initial.last).

    8. Nick Corcodilos at Ask the Headhunter, has very strong opinions about this type of recruiting. But I see somebody here got a job this way, so YMMV.

    9. Do not send your resume without a call with the recruiter. Watch for whether the recruiter is fishing to find out about openings at your current employer (this is a common pretense at what I think of as the bottom feeding recruiting firms.)

      Only send your resume once you know whether you’re interested in the job, and this is important, expressly write that the recruiter only has permission to share your resume with this particular employer. If you don’t say that, and it’s a sleazy recruiter, you may find out your resume has been sent all over the place. One time, one of these recruiters sent me the resume of one of my own staff!!

      1. This–you don’t have to send your resume without a phone call. Resumes have info that can help identity theives, and some recruiters (external ones) are absolute hacks who can and will send your resume all over town to try to lock down commissions. This can have huge repercussions if your boss gets word you’re looking.

        I’m not paranoid–it’s important that you speak with the recruiter to find out more about the role, and find out if it’s a fit, before sending your resume. If they can’t take the time for that, then they’re just sending out mass reach-outs.

  15. I need some new low carb recipes since I’m getting a little burned out on grilled meat + veg for dinner and salad with chicken for lunch. Bonus points if the recipes are good for fall. Any recommendations?

    1. I’ve really been enjoying chicken thighs in the instant pot with garlic, onions, paprika, cumin, salt, and fire roasted tomatoes. I top with yogurt, cheese, and salsa. Easy, lasts multiple meals, and warm. I also like spaghetti squash cooked in the instant pot and topped with sauce/cheese or umami seasoning, olive oil, and cheese.

    2. My entire family loves Eggroll in a Bowl. We do meatloaf once a week this time of the year.

    5. I like to mix up the salad. Maybe make a Greek salad or add some salmon or fall vegetables to it. Salads can be so easy and still interesting.

    6. Chili or soup. I recently made the Spicy Peanut Soup with Sweet Potato & Kale from Pinch of Yum. Not sure if sweet potatoes are low carb?

      Also chicken curries. You can eat them without rice. Half Baked Harvest has lots of ideas.

    8. Taco/burrito bowls or salads, chili, pot roast, all the egg dishes (quiche, frittatas, omelets, shakshuka, Spanish tortilla), all kinds of soups (borsht, carrot soup, various chowders), meatballs over spaghetti squash, eggplant parm (layer it like lasagna noodles), other stews (think Indian or Moroccan/tagine for different flavors).

    9. When you’re preparing your meat for the next several days, roast a sheet or two of veggies in the same hot oven. My favorites are broccoli and cauliflower, and if you’re into convenience, they sell bags of precut broccoli and cauliflower.

      Can you do hummus? I find adding some hummus to a plate of roasted chicken thighs and roasted vegetables really makes it seem more indulgent. Same for baba ganoush.

    10. This sounds weird but hear me out–it’s delicious: cooked diced/shredded chicken breast, mixed with 1 can of Trader Joe’s Grecian style eggplant, tomatoes and onions, and a 1/4 of a bag of mixed fire roasted bell peppers (Trader Joe’s frozen). Heat stovetop. Tastes like homemade ratatouille with chicken. Filling and aaamazing.

    11. Skinnytaste has a couple I really like – spaghetti squash lasagna (multiple variations), spaghetti squash taco boats, and stuffed cabbage casserole. The casserole has rice in it so might not qualify. Also soups: mini turkey meatball vegetable soup is a favorite.

  16. Styling help please! What colorway area rug would you choose to pair with a West Elm sectional in their distressed velvet “dune” color? Hardwood (bamboo) floors, walls are BM White Dove. TIA!

      1. Hmm. It’s a den, so definitely want more of a loung-y vibe. Our house has a lot of midcentury but also craftsman touches. The dining area, which the den opens onto, has a rug with blue and mustard tones, bar chairs at the kitchen bar (also within sight line of den) are mustard, and there is a blue velvet bench just off the dining room. This sofa is replacing a gray one, which currently sits on a blue/taupe rug that is being moved. So I guess we could go with blue again, but not sure blue really looks good with the “dune” color sofa.

        1. Do you want to go high pile? (Like a flokati?) I’ve heard that’s a trend right now.

          1. Those are gorgeous but we have a dog, a cat, and 2 toddlers, so I’m looking for something like hand-tufted wool, which I find easy to clean. Anything high-pile/shag is just waiting to have goldfish ground into it, I think.

          2. Technically Ruggable sells a faux one, but I’m very skeptical! Of either its washability or appearance or both.

            I do think that tufted or knotted wool is the easiest to clean (and patterns don’t hurt either).

    2. A couple of things I learned after following Maria Killam’s blog for years, since it was called Color Me Happy: (1) pay attention to the fixed elements in the room (the floors in your case, fireplaces, tile and counters in a kitchen), and (2) if you feel as if you are starting with a blank canvas (too little information to make decisions), picking a printed fabric or a piece of art can help you come up with a color palette for the room. In your case, you could look for an inspiration piece containing the color of the sectional, and see what other colors harmonize with it.

  17. If I recall correctly, there were a few folks that have taught group exercise classes on this board. I am thinking about getting certified mostly just to try something new, put myself out there a bit, and fulfill an itch to learn.

    Anyone care to share their experience or have input on certifications, etc.?

    1. I was a barre instructor. This question is very specific to what you want to teach, and where. Yoga? Pilates? Personal training? Branded class format? And then in turn what studios are in your area and running teacher trainings. And then whether they’re hiring new trainees, if that’s your goal.

      1. Not interested in yoga or pilates certification but more general strength and cardio/HIIT classes. Would prefer not to do a branded class. Something where I could sub at the local JCC or teach just a class or two a week.

    2. My mother in law got really into a particular “sect” of yoga. Guys, it is wild. It’s like a Christopher guest mock documentary. The woman that founded it has people kiss her feet and if you’re really high up in you can just expect to stay for free at strangers’ homes. Anyway my mil is like a quadruple black belt teacher and has spent a fortune on “certification” to teach this yoga invented by an American lady and there is no money in being a yoga teacher but there is some money in training other teachers and I think the whole thing is a like what would happen if a cult married a pyramid scheme. Everyone involved is totally self righteous and all about enlightenment and peace but they’re also kind of always ripping off my gullible mil.

      So I wrote all this to say: maybe don’t spend too much on complicated certifications?

      1. I need you to drop the name of the Netflix documentary on this scheme once it airs, which seems inevitable.

    3. I taught martial arts to kids for a while, and the big takeaway was that generally teaching is nowhere near as good a workout as actually taking the class. (Although disregard if it’s one of those things where the instructor does all the moves while shouting encouragement through a headset.)

  18. I have a totally light-hearted question about holiday gifts.

    My in laws want a wish list every year. But then they buy everything on the list (I learned this very awkwardly our first Christmas together, when I sent a longish list like I do with my own family, thinking they’d choose 1-2 items).

    So now I include just a few things, all at a moderate price point. Anyway! What I really want is a totally frivolous but expensive fragrance set from Le Labo. I make a lot more money than anyone else in the family (including the in laws). So I am very conscious of trying not to seem ostentatious or frivolous. In this situation, would you put the fragrance set as the only thing on your wishlist, or stick with the normal tradition of listing a few cheaper items and then buy the Le Labo yourself?

    3. I make a lot more money than anyone in my family and I wouldn’t ask for the Le Labo, even if it’s technically within their budget. My extended family would see it like “why would anyone spend that much on just X item?” I’d stick with your tradition of asking for a couple items that are moderately priced.

    4. Buy it yourself. I bought preposterously expensive Le Labo perfume this year and it brought me a lot of joy that I’ve “made it” and can splurge. If you go in person the sales associates really fawn over you, it’s fun!

    5. Don’t ask your in laws to buy it for you. Continue with the moderately priced stuff.

        1. Thanks, everyone! My instinct was to either buy it myself or ask my partner to get it for me. I do like to get at least one surprise, so I’ll probably get it for myself and not give him a list at all :)

          Anon above — I got an email this morning about a new “Discovery Set” that has several of their popular scents. My fave is The Noir 29, but there’s a The Matcha in this discovery set that looks really cool and I haven’t smelled before.

          1. I love both of the tea scents! Well done.

            I also like Fleur d’Oranger but you have to be a floral lover for that one, and I know not everyone is.

          2. I love The Noir 29. On me it smells at times like cedar shavings for a gerbil cage, but in a good way.

  19. For Cat, here’s a generic update on a product recommendation frequently made in the comments: Dazzle Dry nail polish. I tried one of the mini kits several months ago and was underwhelmed. The tiny brushes were difficult to use and the polish was flat and looked kind of like I’d painted my nails with whiteout. It did last, though. I recently gave it a second try with a full-sized kit plus the ridge filler add-on, and it’s fantastic. The ridge filler adds a little volume to make the polish look a bit more gel-like, and over the ridge filler the polish levels out beautifully so there are no streaks. The topcoat really does dry in 5 minutes so you don’t risk wrinkling the way you do with traditional polish. The whole thing is quite a process, but I got a full week out of my first application while doing all the usual things around the house. With traditional polish I can get 4 or 5 days max, and only when I’m traveling so I’m not washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. At home I can easily wreck a traditional manicure the first day.

    1. thank you! That’s actually a really good recommendation. I haven’t gotten a professional mani since Covid broke the habit and it’s nice not to be dropping the $15 a week… but so far have only managed to do sheer colors as DIY.

    2. I’m one of the dazzle dry lovers who always recommends them but I’ve yet to try the ridge filler or a mini kit and am so glad to hear the mini brushes aren’t the same so I won’t waste my money, and that the ridge filler is worth it so thank you!

  20. I’m the Bacon Granny OP and it makes me so happy to know that it was a memorable thread. I had no idea it would cause such a stir. I really appreciated the different perspectives and made me reconsider my stance. BG visited recently and brought her signature 1lb tub of cooked bacon. I know she does it to make the kids happy, but it still bugs me (religious vegetarian).

    1. Given your religion I’m super glad she brings it already cooked. I had visions of her frying it up in your kitchen. Hopefully your kids will have some joyful memories of “BG” and her tubs of bacon, and when they are older they will think fondly of how you put up with it for them.

    3. Okay, if it’s a pound AFTER cooking, that is indeed a pretty large amount of bacon! Glad you’re coming to terms with it, OP!

    4. I somehow missed that it was a religious issue for you – that does make me feel more like she’s doing it AT you…

      2. I assumed that vegetarianism was the «religion» and that the phrasing was meant tounge-in-cheek/selfdeprecating. If not, ouch.

    5. I just read that thread and I’m surprised at how many people were firmly in Camp Bacon! To me, it seems kind of obnoxious on your MIL’s part to make it such a Big Deal, but also, not something you can complain about without seeming petty.

  21. Favorite hand lotion that isn’t wildly expensive? Everyone loves the L’Occtaine one, but I honestly thought it smelled like baby powder and I couldn’t stand it.

    1. I cannot live without Archipelago Hand Crème. It is about $20 for three ounces. I prefer the Oat Milk or the Soy. Husband swears by the Black Honey scent.

    3. I love CeraVe, and the only small tube dupe I have found acceptable is the hyaluronic acid cream at none other than Bath & Body works.

        1. Right? Not what I expected. But it lives in the car and makes my eczema-prone hands happy there.

    4. I like the one at Trader Joe’s. My assistant buys it for me every year and it is one of my favorite things to receive.

    5. I am very sensitive to scents and buy the Nutogena Norwegian formula hand cream in bulk.

      1. I love the Norwegian formula. Couldn’t have got through those long northern winters without it.

        1. How do y’all get it to absorb? I feel like my hands are sticky after using it. I know it does a great job at the actual moisturizing.

          1. Don’t use too much. This stuff is amazing, keeps my cuticles from being a mess. Essential for our northern winters.

    6. O’Keefe Working Hands. VERY unfancy. But it works splendidly and doesn’t have a weird smell.

      2. This is one of the ones people used when I lived in Vermont. Function over form for Vermont winters! I think urea is the ingredient that makes the difference for me.

    7. Trader Joe’s sells a lighter fragranced dupe of the L’Occitane one – I love it. It’s a metal tube with a blue label. It’s called “Ultra Moisturizing Hand Cream.” It’s incredibly inexpensive – I think around $5 or $6 for a good size tube.

    9. Cerave Handcream is a great handcream [moisturizing, absorbs fully without leaving any residue] and is fragrance-free.

    10. My favorite is Camille Beckman, unscented. I get the 32oz & buy from their company website. I also love their hand sanitizer sprays.

    11. Trader Joe’s makes a scentless hand lotion that I swear works just as well as L’Occitane (it feels exactly the same) and is only $5. I go through two tubes every winter.

    12. Gold bond ultimate healing hand cream works best for me. Also I think it has a nice subtle clean scent.

    14. Dr Teals Body Lotion, with coconut oil & shea butter. It’s available in a lot of stores, it’s cheaper, and it penetrates my skin better than almost anything else I’ve tried.

  22. Vicarious shopping? I saw another mom wearing a red, sleeveless twill utility jumpsuit with tigers on it and I am looking for a utility jumpsuit as cool as that. Ideally fitted and the dream would be under $100. I am totally striking out.

    4. I think is saw someone posting on r femalefashionadvice about a company that made things like this some months ago. It’s not my style so I didn’t remember the name of the company but I would recommend searching there.

    5. Could it have been Farm Rio? That would be over your price point but maybe secondhand?

    6. Google Lazy Oaf Nowhere Tiger Jumpsuit – I’ll post a lnk separately to avoid mod

  23. After a week of freezing denial that Seattle is currently Midwest-fall cold, I finally put on a merino sweater and am… hot. Transitional dressing fail.

  24. I’m a year overdue on my colonoscopy, in part b/c I dread the prep so much. I have a very strong gag reflux and end up vomiting up much of the prep, which has meant extra time and stress. I can swallow pills like a champ, though. When I called my provider (a very large GI practice) the receptionist acted like she had not heard of this new form of pill prep, which surprised me. I have her checking with the doc but meanwhile, what’s your experience been with this new method? Any resistance from your docs? Any issues with prep? Pros and cons (other than it is a fairly new method so maybe not as tested as others)? Need to get this done with and hoping for good news.

    1. Both big hospital systems in my city still insist on the traditional prep. I think it varies by locality, but not sure the pills are in widespread use unfortunately.

    2. I used the SuTab prep. It worked well enough for me to get a passing score on my colonoscopy.

      But – I still had nausea with the second set of pills, and barfed quite a bit. I think for me it was the volume of water, the barfing was more like an overfilled water ballon spilling than violent heaving. When I told the doctor about this, he mentioned that maybe I’d get some anti-nausea drugs for the next one, so you could ask about that. I also wonder if I could stretch out the time for consuming the water, maybe if I didn’t have to drink so much in a short period, I wouldn’t have barfed.

      I’d probably do the pills again, but I don’t know if they are that much better than the regular liquid prep.

      1. I also struggled with the prep the first time due to my gag reflex. My PCP recommended drinking it through a straw toward the back of my throat on the next one and it really helped. I still gagged a bit but kept it all down and got through it.

    3. Oh, and depending on your age and personal and family history, maybe ask if ColoGuard is an option?

    4. Your insurance probably won’t cover it, so it could be up to $150. I haven’t actually tried the pills, but I used Plenvu, which is a lower volume prep, and I thought that wasn’t too bad, especially if your issue is with volume not taste. Our insurance didn’t cover that either and it was ~$100 for my husband and $50 when I did it a year later, no idea why it was so different (I looked into it at the time, which is why I remember reading that the pills were even more expensive).

      1. Talk with the doc rather than going off insurance info alone. Mine had Sutab coupons. I think I paid $20.

      2. I think I was told insurance wouldn’t cover the SuTab, but my doctor found me a coupon so I think it cost me $30 or $40.

      3. Good point on the coupons. I actually did look into this and then the price ended up being exactly what it would have been if I’d downloaded a coupon, so maybe they did this without me knowing. $50 is still not exactly cheap, though!

    5. Pills are the best prep. My nurse I requested it from swore insurance wouldn’t cover them, but UHC didn’t blink an eye.

      By contrast, I puked up the entirety of the GoLytely, so I know your struggle.

      1. My doc requires this prep too and it’s a breeze. it doesn’t really start until 1 pm the afternoon before a 11 am procedure the next day.

    7. I could not keep the prep down either, so I googled and read about the Miralax method that a lot of hospitals use. You mix it with Gatorade and it tastes just like drinking Gatorade. I was able to drink it no problem. Good luck!

    8. I’ve used Sutab before two colonoscopies and also before colon cancer surgery (and the second opinion from another surgeon at a different hospital was allowing pill prep as well). My husband who has Crohn’s (so has had many colonoscopies) used it with his gastro last time as well and was much happier with prep. None of the four docs expressed any resistance. Chicago suburbs if it makes any difference.

      Good for you on getting the colonoscopy. I didn’t have any symptoms, family history and wasn’t at screening age (only got the colonoscopy because I was severely anemic) and early detection literally meant the difference between needing chemo or not and very high survivability (90% at 5 years). Colon cancer is happening much younger than ever before–guidelines just changed to 45. I wish everyone knew how easy the pill use is. I suspect way more people would get colonoscopies when they are due. No one talks about this nearly enough.

    9. Is this like a doctor preference thing? I just went through this and the prep was to buy a bunch of laxatives and mix it with gatorade. And then only eat broth/jello for a day. Or is the gatorade what you vomit up?

    10. Atlanta suburbs, my doc won’t use it, says it doesn’t clean out as well and those patients have to go through the whole ordeal TWICE. Ugh.

    11. Just had a colonoscopy yesterday. Had miralax mixed with gatorade. I asked about the pills – GI specialist did not recommend, because it is not as effective. You also have to still drink a ton of clear liquid, you can’t just take a couple pills and call it a day. I’m hopeful that the pill strategy improves before my next procedure in 10 years. Good Luck.

  25. Has anybody had a Morpheus8 treatment and how did you like it? I’m interested in a refresh, but don’t know how to manage the downtime.

    1. I did! I think it’s worth it. It hurts A LOT so be ready for that. The downtime is really just 2 days where you might bruise and have red dots. Then there was some peeling and I thought it was manageable. I got it on a Saturday afternoon and was back in the office on Tuesday.

  26. What are your favorite gifts for people you don’t know well (that aren’t work-related folks)? Drew names this year for husband’s family. Under $100 ideally. Thanks!

    1. Wirecutter has an “office secret Santa” or similar roundup of gifts that actually has some really neat things that would work well for this.

    2. I really love my Yeti rambler with hotshot lid. Maybe that with some nice coffee/tea or a coffee shop gift card?

      1. Love my Yeti! And I resisted this fancy cup trend for so long. But it really is great.

    3. I always like Christmas-related stuff for people who celebrate. This year I picked up some nice placemats and funny plates at Nordstrom, of all places. Even a Christmas sweater would work, especially for men.

      1. I would make sure they have enough space to store this though. As an apartment dweller, I am vehemently against seasonal stuff (I have one shoebox of Christmas ornaments/lights and then decorate with a tree/garland that gets composted after the season and that is it!).

    5. Consumables. Jeni’s Splendid ice cream has fun holiday flavors. Burlap & Barrel spices are incredible if they cook. Acid League makes cool vinegar and sauces. And there’s always wine if you know they drink.

  28. I have a grey proenza schouler purse that has a shoulder strap only. I was to get a longer strap that will let me wear it for crossbody. any recommendations for where to look?

    1. Try messaging their customer service, they may have straps which they can sell separately or even ship for free [not unusual with luxury bags]. Give them model number and preferred length of strap and see what they will recommend.

  29. What do you wear to run in cooler weather? I recently took up running and I want to keep it up through the winter but I don’t know that I have the right clothes for this. (I currently just run in shorts and a t-shirt.)
    I’m sort of okay being cold, but I hate being hot. Also since it’s new hobby I don’t want to invest in anything too pricy yet. Suggestions?

    2. Okay, can’t post r ddit links, but at r / running, there’s a section on this in the wiki. As a new runner, I’ve found it very helpful.

    3. I live in a cold climate so over half the year I’m running in temps below 40. When its between 30 and 40 degrees, I wear Athleta Rainer tights, a long sleeve top (wicking fabric, not cotton), a fleece headband to cover my ears, gloves, and a vest or vest and windbreaker if it’s windy. If it’s sunny out and feels warmer, I will lose the gloves. Under about 30 degrees, I add a running jacket instead of the vest. Under 20, I will add an actual hat and a base layer under my shirt and wool socks. If the temp is negative, or if it’s windy or humid, I add either a pair of joggers or another pair of leggings, gloves, a balaclava to cover my face, and a vest under my jacket. I will also add a pair of Kahtoola nano spikes if it is icy.

      I absolutely love winter running, but having the right gear is essential. Getting sweaty and cold is a recipe to be miserable. Target has a lot of good running gear–my first running jacket was from there. I would make sure you at least have a good head covering, jacket, warm tights, and a pair of gloves.

    4. This is all going to depend on exactly how cold it will be, but start with full length or 3/4 length leggings, a long sleeve top layered over short sleeves, and a running hat or headband (something to cover your ears). I have bought the majority of my exercise/running clothes at Target and Gap/Old Navy and they have all held up for years with regular wear, so you don’t really need to invest in anything fancy. If it’s going to be below about 30 or 40 F (depends how cold or warm you are), you could also consider fleece lined leggings, a thicker running shirt (could also be fleece lined), or a vest suitable for running. Layering is really key when it’s cold. I’ve really only ever worn gloves when it’s SUPER cold out, and often wind up taking them off after warming up. I find it more useful to wear a long sleeved shirt that has thumb holes and covers part of my hands. I generally don’t go running when it’s cold enough to need one, but a neck gaiter/buff could also be helpful. One of my friends has a thin waterproof jacket that she bought at a running store for a not small sum, and she wears it every time it’s wet out or when she needs another layer due to cold. It’s the one piece of gear I kind of wish I had invested in at some point.

      Don’t forget to make sure your clothes are high visibility, and definitely invest in a headlamp/back light if you’re going to run outdoors in the dark.

    5. I am like you that I’d rather be chilly on a run than overheating. I do have to keep my ears and feet warm though, otherwise I’m miserable. This is what I usually wear:
      – Regular leggings. I avoid fleece lined unless its below 25F. I get too hot in fleece lined so I wear my normal, year round leggings.
      – Wool mid calf socks. I usually wear my hiking socks when running in the cold.
      – Normal running shoes.
      – I usually wear a thicker long sleeve top (like an under armor). If its very cold I will wear a fleece vest over top of it.
      – Ear warmer headband. Even if its not very cold (40s) I still wear this because if my ears get cold I”m miserable but fleece or wool hats are too warm for me. I do sometimes run with a baseball cap and ear warmers (I like running in a baseball cap in warmer weather too)
      – Gloves: I usually start with gloves on and take them off during the run when I heat up.
      – Reflective vest. Usually in the winter I have to run when it’s dark outside so I have a reflective light up vest that I will wear for safety since I run on city streets and parks.

      Plenty of people I know go for fleece lined leggings, fleeces or jackets, wool or fleece hats, but the one time in my life I’m not constantly freezing is when I’m running – no matter the temp!

    7. If it’s moderately cold, I run in a long sleeve t shirt, those running gloves from Costco, and leggings. As it gets colder, I will add a running jacket (I have several of varying weights) and ear warmers. If it’s too cold for that, it’s treadmill weather.

    8. Target is the best place for newbie running gear. Dollar store knit gloves are handy because that’s often all the warmth you need and it’s no biggie if one gets lost or destroyed. I ran in my Target (Champion C9) tights for at least 10 years. They are fine, especially if you tend to be warm and probably won’t need them all that often. Long sleeve shirts with thumb loops didn’t really exist when I started running but now they do and are a nice-to-have, though far from necessary. I wear an old merino BUFF as a hat most of the time.
      I hate carrying extra stuff AND I hate being cold, so I start my run overdressed and do my first mile or so near the house and when I go past the house again, I drop the extra layers.
      I’m sure you know this already, but in case you are one of the several folks I see at my city’s Turkey Trot every year who don’t, long johns are not running tights, nor are they opaque when worn alone.
      Hot or cold to a large extent depends on how hard you’re going. When I was fast, once warmed up, I could run in shorts and a t-shirt into the 40s. Now, not so much.
      More than any clothing choice, chapstick is the make-or-break for me once it’s cold out. If my lips start to crack, I’m miserable no matter what I’m doing.
      It gets dark early, so a lot of folks go all-out on reflective everything and headlamps. I’ve yet to find a headlamp that didn’t bounce around or come off, but do have one whose strap extends long enough to wear around my waist. If I’m going to be on an unfamiliar route at night, I use that. Otherwise, I don’t bother.

  30. Inspired by the poster who lost her job this morning (sorry my friend), I wanted to share an “overcoming burnout/depression” story. In 2020 I felt like I was absolutely drowning at my job, I had unmitigated depression and anxiety, and wanted to unalive myself. I got fired, got a new job, got fired from the new job. Things were bad. I was prescribed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I started doing therapy. I took my time finding a new job in order to find the Right Job (a major privilege that I 100% understand most do not have). I started at a much lower stress, fully remote job. Things got so much better. Today, less than 2 years later, I am in love with my life. I never thought it was possible to be this happy, for ME to be this happy. It’s going to get better. It’s worth the fight.

    1. Thank you for sharing and I am glad you are better!

      I have posted about this before, but I had covid very early in the pandemic (March 2021) and then I thought I had long covid–I was exhausted, working all the time, general covid malaise. Nope! Turned out that I hit 40, and had major thyroid issues and super low vitamin D! Seeing a doctor changed me from a hollow shell of a sleeping-all-the time, exhausted person, back to an active person. This is your semi-related PSA to get a physical with full bloodwork!

    2. Thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate all the kid messages I’ve received. I’m so glad you are doing better now. I have already reached out to a therapist because I don’t think I’m going to cope with this very well. I hope I have a success story like yours one day.

  31. Had a nostalgia moment with this post! This dress very much reminds me of a striped gap sweater I had in middle/high school. So interesting how trends rebound.

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