Suit of the Week: Marot x J.Crew

115 Comments

1. Oy. Let the season of ambiguous dress codes begin.

   Just received an invitation for a holiday party for husband’s work, and spouses are “highly encouraged” to attend. There was no dress code on the invitation and it didn’t give enough context clues to figure it out, so I asked DH to ask.

   Him: “Formal. I’m wearing a suit.”

   Me: “Formal? You’re sure? Formal means tuxedos and long gowns; semi-formal means suits and knee length dresses – do they really mean formal?”

   Him: “Ok, fine, semi-formal. I’d recommend a long gown, but you could probably get away with a short one.”

   I trust my husband about thismuch on his interpretation/discussion of all this. What would you wear? Bonus points for pics/links!

   1. Has he been to this party before and seen the women in long gowns? If so I’d take his word for it. If not I’d wear a short cocktail dress.

   2. If he’s wearing a suit (not a tux) you can wear a cocktail dress. And I would get him to confirm with someone at the office what the dress code actually is!

   3. I’d wear a short dressy dress. I don’t like to be overdressed, though, or like I’m trying too hard. However: I also highly doubt other people care what I’m wearing because most people are focused on themselves.

   4. I’d wear a cocktail dress if he’s wearing a suit. I’ve never been to an event where all the men wore suits and most women wore long gowns.

      1. +1

   5. My husband calls skirts dresses. So I hear you on not trusting yours.

      What time of day is it and what’s the venue? If it’s like, 5-8 on a weeknight at an event space, it’s going to be men with festive ties and women in slightly-more-sparkly versions of office attire.

      1. heh mine too is unaware of or baffled by the application of dress codes to women.

      2. HAHA mine too, on the skirt/dress thing

      3. Mine also confuses skirts and dresses – I thought he was unique! Worse, the kids are picking it up from him. How am I, the sole dress and skirt wearer in the house, not the supreme authority on the matter?

   6. If the invitation does not specify formal-formal, I would interpret that to mean you wear what you want. I personally go with a knee-length dress and blingy accessories for something ambiguous like this, because that is what I have on hand that fits me the best and I am comfortable in it. And if your spouse is wearing a suit instead of a tux, your level of formality matches.

   7. If it were formal, he’d be in a tux. Men in suits and women in gowns is a mismatch. In your shoes, I’d dress to match your husband and wear a cocktail dress that reads holiday – sheer sleeves or velvet or sequins etc – but not a gown. Knee length is fine.

      1. https://www.dillards.com/p/vince-camuto-v-neck-long-chiffon-sleeve-crepe-sheath-dress/510387238

         1. I like the navy and the hunter in this. I’d do large-ish sparkly earrings, no necklace, a wrap, and a blingy evening bag.

         2. This is a great dress!

      2. https://www.dillards.com/p/marina-long-sleeve-beaded-side-drape-dress/512260410

         this is also nice if you like a higher neckline.

         1. This one lands on a bright blue, but I like the navy, the black, and maybe the fuschia depending on your coloring (the fuschia would look amazing on someone dark-skinned)

      3. here’s a pretty one if you like a fuller skirt

         https://www.dillards.com/p/alex-evenings-cap-sleeve-a-line-pleated-bodice-soutache-detailed-skirt-midi-dress/515100803

      4. OK last one, but this is so pretty

         https://www.dillards.com/p/aidan-mattox-sequin-lace-applique-v-neck-cap-sleeve-peplum-satin-dress/514719256

         Please note that since this is your husband’s office, I steered away from anything that could be called se xy or revealing.

      5. Ann Taylor can be a good place for ambiguous work/party outfits. I would do something like this: https://www.anntaylor.com/floral-ruffle-pleated-flare-dress/604342?skuId=34213193&defaultColor=2114&catid=cat4430021&selectedColor=&selectedColor=2114
         Or
         https://www.anntaylor.com/dotted-lace-shift-dress/603948?skuId=34095164&defaultColor=2222&catid=cat4430021&selectedColor=&selectedColor=2222

   8. Men seem to think any type of dress is fancy, so no way I’d trust that interpretation. I’d do short cocktail dress.

      1. Also, I predict every other female spouse invited is having this exact same conversation and thus you will all come in short cocktail dresses and no one will be out of place, even if it was intended to be truly formal.

   9. See if your husband can find photos of last years party on intranet or whatever.

      1. This is good advice – find photos to get an idea of the dress. DH’s company hosts a Christmas party every year and I felt so bad for one of the spouses last year as her husband clearly did not give her the dress code. The party is for the whole company and is a mix of blue collar manufacturing workers and office staff. Owners/C-Suite tend to wear suits and, at most, sparkly cocktail dress/dressy pants and a sparkly top. Most others are in a basic little black dress/nice polo and slacks. The spouse in question wore a long, formal teal satin dress. I could tell she felt so overdressed and out of place. Men seem to have a hard time grasping how many options there are for women.

      2. Yes, I second looking for photos. Depending on the company, there may be a (virtual) newsletter from last year, or photos posted on an event site. Or ask to talk to one of his work buddy’s wives/gf. If the company is big enough, an IG search or google search might bring up photos.

         Also, have him forward the invite if it’s via email. It might have an admin’s name on it and you could reach out.

   10. Match his formality, not his words. suit = cocktail dress

   11. Does he not have any female colleagues? What are they wearing?

   12. You can totally wear a c!cktail dress, but if you’re unsure, I picked up this dress and I LOVE it. High enough neckline to be work appropriate. The slit in the front isn’t revealing even when seated. And with the wrap it’s got kind of a high low thing going on, without actually being a mullet dress, so I wouldn’t feel horribly out of place if everyone were in gowns. It’s also super comfortable. I was having trouble with the link but it’s the Saylor jade metallic stripe one shoulder gown at Nordie’s.

2. Reposting as I was late this morning…
   I’m starting to think about what to get my admin assistant for a holiday gift. I can totally go generic (edible gift basket), but I do know she’s very into running. We do have one of those independent specialty running stores in town that sells shoes and clothing. Would a gift certificate to that be appropriate? Or is it too risky that it’s not going to be what she uses? Looking for something in the $200-400 range.

   1. Can you not give cash?

      1. Not really. More of an office cultural thing than any legal thing. My team tends to give “real” gifts.

   2. You received good feedback this morning: get her the running shop voucher.

      1. Thanks for reminding me to check! There was nothing on there when I reposted originally so I thought I’d missed the boat!

   3. Cash. Stop being silly. Or get her the running store gift card like everyone already told you.

      1. Can we knock it off with the “stop being silly” crap? OP is asking a legit question and she said above that she didn’t see other comments on her AM post when she checked.

      2. Could you just try to be less btchy?

      3. Cash is problematic for a lot of employers, fyi – not always permitted.

3. I love this suit but hate the styling. I’m team flats but those ain’t it. The pants are also dragging in the back, which is a big no for me.

   1. I feel like if the pants were cropped to just above the ankle, they’d work with pointy-toe flats.

      1. At least taken up enough that they didn’t drag on the ground.

         1. Last go-round I hemmed my wide leg pants to about 1/2 inch above the ground in the back, wearing the shoes I preferred with those pants, then I stuck with those shoes when wearing them. I still think that’s the right length.

            I don’t like the “flood” look.

4. Reposting from morning thread as I posted too late:

   Does anyone have a favourite page a day calendar with meditations? I did an origami a day the past two years and loved it but am a bit over it at this point, would love to get a daily meditation at my desk to start my day in a meaningful way . But most ones I see are some kind of pseudo-self care or witticisms or proverbs, not looking for that, I would like specifically meditation prompts. Also, no religious ones please.

   1. Not exactly what you’re looking for, but in case no better option turns up, I really like Ani Trime’s Little Book of Affirmations. It’s set up with 52 affirmations and you’re supposed to meditate on each of them for a week. The book instructs you to connect it with your breath. Each affirmation is broken into two lines and you’re supposed to do the top line on the inhale, bottom line on exhale. I enjoy it and find the affirmations to be nice.

      1. I like this.

   2. Also posted earlier….
      I have this one and quite like it, but it might not quite be what you have in mind.

      https://bloomplanners.com/products/affirmations-easel

5. I recently picked up some blondo combat boots that I love, but have no idea how to style/wear them. I’ve worn them with leggings and a tunic length top but have no idea what jeans I should wear with these boots. Any help would be great! I need new jeans anyway!

   1. Straight leg jeans, rolled or cuffed, would look great.

      1. I am wearing combat boots with straight-leg cuffed jeans right now.

   2. Ankle-length straight-leg jeans over the boots. The jeans should be long enough that they don’t creep up over the top of the boot shaft when you sit down, but short enough that they don’t break or puddle when you stand up.

      1. This is very helpful!

   3. For an idea other than jeans–wear with a very tailored plaid skirt. Punk, but tailored, dressed-up punk.

   4. I like combat boots with jeans that show them, which could mean rolled or cropped. I’ve never liked skinny jeans on me, but they are punk rock authentic if you’re into them. I usually wear mine with wide leg cropped jeans or kick flares. They’re also great with above-the knee skirts, or for a Gen X classic, black tights under ripped jorts.

6. My partner and I are getting ready to put our house on the market (we have to move for his job). Anyone have home staging tips to share? Thanks!

   1. Keep it simple. Have just enough furniture in each space that it shows the function of the space. Remove any “extra” furniture, and remove your personal and decorative items. Try going through some pictures on Zillow to see how they’re staged, and notice what works and what doesn’t work.

      1. What do you do with a family photo wall? We have a nice coordinated gallery wall of family photos on what would otherwise be a big blank wall full of nail holes from the gallery wall. Do you just take down the gallery wall, patch the holes, and have a blank wall?

         1. Yes.

            Potential buyers want to imagine the house is theirs. Your family photos may be beautiful to you and to those who love you, but they don’t help a stranger imagine themselves in your home.

            Plus, I wouldn’t really want a stranger to see tons of photos of any kids in my family.

         2. Yep, or stage it with a large piece of art (generally best done by a pro)

   2. Based on my stager’s work last year, mirrors and moss.

      1. And that shaggy cow print from Target that is in every single staged house in my city. Live, Laugh, Love!

         1. Along with the gray, plank “wood” flooring in all the flipped houses . . .

   3. Many of us are allergic to artificial fragrances so please don’t use those stinky reed sticks at all and go easy on the candles even if they aren’t lit.

      I found dusting the light fittings and bulbs so the illumination is a bright as possible helped.

      1. Also, if there is any fragrance, then I’m assuming that you’re hiding a bad odor (the unexpected dead squirrel in the wall, something musty, etc.).

   4. Check with your realtor and see what they suggest. Ours provided free staging. If you can swing it, a fresh coat of paint makes a huge difference.

   5. If you have any large furniture you plan on selling before moving. I’d get on that asap. I recently moved. Selling a large hutch and similar type of pieces I knew we wouldn’t move really helped in our staged photos to help the rooms look larger. The only downside, is that large pieces take longer to sell on second hand market because of their size.

   6. Are you willing to hire someone to do it? Or does your realtor include it (ours did and it made a huge difference)?

      If you’re doing it yourself, declutter everything. Then declutter more. Now once more. Keep only the essential furniture in each room; if walls are polarizing colors paint them neutral; remove all family photos, diplomas, and kids art; pack away off-season clothing so your closet looks bigger; bins, baskets, and trays are your friend – visually they trick your eyes into thinking they are one thing rather than a million things; pack a ton of your stuff in boxes so it isn’t visible.

      1. In this market I think it would totally be worth the money to hire a pro.

   7. Also tidy up the closets and pantry, so it looks like they actually hold a good amount of stuff vs being packed to the gills. We put the artwork, books, holiday decorations, extraneous furniture in a POD but you may have other offsite storage.

   8. I’m extra but my house sold for 75k over appraisal (the buyer had to get private loan). So this is either the biggest pain in the neck or the easiest 75 k I ever made.

      I did what I called believable staging. You want to pack up whatever you can now. Your dining room cabinets should only have the prettiest china. Open all the window coverings, eliminate all clutter. Keep it spotless. Don’t set the dining room table but plop some supermarket flowers in a vase and polish the wood. Make the beds with big fluffy white duvets and sheets. Bleach it all and iron pillowcases if you have to. Fluffy white towels in every bathroom. No medical devices or pet stuff anywhere . Only cute, coordinated kids toys if you have kids. (Seriously my sons actual favorite teddy bear was stashed for a more photo ready stuffy). Nothing on the kitchen countertops. I had only high end clothes in a coordinated color pallet hanging in my closet as if I was chic women with a capsule wardrobe. I put high end designer soap next to each sink and fancy shampoo and soap in our showers.

      They will open your fridge and cabinets. I had drinks (bottle of champagne, Perrier, Diet Coke) and snacks lined up like it was a hotel minibar.

      1. This is brilliant and I would 100% fall for buying a house, believing that I would be living in a catalogue at the end of it.

         1. I have a friend who bought this house and then whined jokingly about having to get dressed in her own clothes after the move.

      2. Oh also: you need to sell your ‘hood. We were walking distance to a farmers market and park that does outdoor concerts so I put calendars for those on an otherwise decluttered bulletin board and hung a sturdy but pretty straw basket by the back door. Maybe I’m crazy but I think I want to quit my job and do this.

   9. Not home staging per se, but make sure your cabinets/closets are neat. People will often want to look inside! Something well organized is a big selling point.

      There is a broker who sells a lot of apartments in my building and she is always bringing in an orchid or two (silk, fake but you can get a real one at Whole Foods/TJ’s for about $20).

   10. *Take all the screens off your windows (leave them in the garage) and have someone come through and wash all the windows.
       *Get rid of all your stuff. When you think you’ve decluttered enough, declutter more. Just get a storage unit and throw everything there. Empty as many closets and cabinets as humanly possible. People will open every door and look everywhere, including your closet and the garage and the attic.
       *Take down anything personal.
       *Repaint your walls (not the trim) in a neutral color – something like White Dove, or Revere Pewter, or Agreeable Gray.
       *If you can, see if you can resurface your bathtub so it looks sparkly and clean.

   11. Take down personal photos. Pare down your color scheme to neutrals or carefully coordinated colors. Clear clutter and remove functional but not strictly necessary furniture (like end tables if you already have a coffee table) to make the room look bigger.

   12. Get “rid of” about 1/2 your stuff (storage, a cube, garage) and clear all surfaces as much as possible. The more simple and generic the better, clean and bright will help. Remove as many window dressings (drapes, not blinds) as you can, and if you can, roll up and store as many area rugs as possible.

   13. If your realtor doesn’t provide staging services, and you can afford it, go ahead and hire a stager. They will have access to all kinds of things (furniture, artwork, accessories), and a good stager knows what works. They will ask you to remove all personal items, and you’ll probably have to put things in storage. I personally feel safer if I don’t have tons of personal items lying around while the house is on the market.

       When we sold a tiny condo, we repainted the entire unit (including the bathroom), removed all the window treatments (more light), and the realtor kept fresh flowers in a vase on the dining table.

       Also, something to think about – things sometimes walk away and disappear during open houses. If you love something, and don’t want to see it, um, walk away, remove it!

7. Love this suit in theory. Would you all wear this for a jury trial in the SEUS in the next couple of months? I always feel like dressing for jury trials is so hard, and is even harder now post-C.

   1. Yes! This suit is perfect for that application. Different shoes.

   2. I would wear this for a jury trial, for sure. Obviously with a shirt under it. I’m in the mid-south.

      1. God, I’ve gotten so used to models not wearing shirts under suit jackets I didn’t even notice at first.

8. I’m moving into a client-facing role rather than an internal one and I feel like I need to step up my wardrobe and appearance to be more polished. I am planning on doing a workwear refresh since it’s about time for that anyway, but any tips or tricks on looking more polished and put together would be appreciated!

   1. Consistent, well-groomed hairstyle. Blazers rather than swackets. Real shoes. Understated but nice jewelry.

   2. Audit your wardrobe and check what is in good condition: no marks, pilling, fading, loose threads etc so you can repair or replace items.
      Clean your jewellery. Polish and repair shoes.

      For me, an interesting blazer makes me feel professional and polished, but you might prefer the ease of a dress so you don’t have to worry about putting together an outfit. Some people prefer a ‘third pieces’ like a vest, scarf or statement jewellery to feel put together. Think about what you like.

   3. Everything you buy should fit you at key places, and then you tailor the rest. This is how you look polished.

      Jackets – fit in the shoulders, tailor the waist
      Blouses – fit in the bust or don’t buy
      Pants – fit the hips, always tailor the length
      Dresses and skirts should be knee or below knee length

9. I’d like to get a gift card for my 13-year-old niece for Christmas. Where do teenagers spend money these days? I haven’t seen her much in the last few years and don’t know her interests. If it matters, her parents are very wealthy, and she goes to a Country-Day-type school in a large city in the SEUS.

   1. My niblings like Target and Amazon gift cards because there’s a lot of choice

      1. I have a daugher the same age, and agree Target and Amazon are the safest. As a parent I also appreciate Barnes & Noble gift cards. Wealthy tween girls in SoCal love shopping at lululemon, but not sure if this is true everywhere.

         1. Oh good point about Lululemon. My nieces would love that, but it needs to be $100 or more in that case.

   2. I would probably ask her parent who is your sibling if they recommend anywhere specific. 13 can be a tricky age…strong preferences!

      1. Neither parent is my sibling, and we’re not close to the parent who is a family member.

      2. Yeah, I’d avoid any clothing stores for this reason. I like the Target idea, very safe.

   3. Starbucks or Target.

   4. Apple Store gift card?

      1. I have a teen and don’t think this would get used unless there is a specific item she is saving for. A rich kid probably already has all the gadgets she wants, and a gift card has to be quite large to buy anything other than an Apple Pencil. My teen does not spend money at the App Store.

      2. this is an odd suggestion to me. A gift card won’t really cover anything there, and just about everything the Apple store sells is something a 13 year old’s parents likely want some say in (AirPods really being the only exception, but they can easily be purchased at Target/Amazon). Plus a lot of people who have Apple phones, watches, computers, don’t even buy their phones through Apple.

         1. I was thinking accessories like headphones.

   5. The teenagers I know are all happy with Starbucks gift cards (or perhaps if there is a local equivalent).

   6. Do you have a texting relationship with your niece? By the time mine are 11-12, I start asking them directly via text what they like. I’ve recently sent gift cards to tweens & teens in my family for Puma, Tilly’s, American Eagle, and Doc Marten.

   7. Lululemon
      Starbucks
      the nearest boba tea shop (SO MUCH BOBA)
      the nearest indie bookstore
      Francesca’s

      Source: mother of a 12 year old girl

10. Refinishing v. painting cabinets – anyone want to weigh in? We have a single 36″ cabinet in our bathroom that we want to make white (currently dark wood). The cabinet itself is in good condition, as are the doors, so we just want to change the color. The quotes we’ve gotten to refinish the cabinets seems high ($1500), so I’m questioning whether we can get away with just painting them

    Thoughts?

    1. You can absolutely paint it.

    2. You can just paint but painting or refinishing them on your own isn’t a hard DIY. Have painted my kitchen cabinets twice.

    3. Paint it yourself. Benjamin Moore makes a paint specifically developed for painting cabinetry that goes on like a dream. Plan on priming and at least two coats of paint.

       1. Definitely prime and sand off as much of any current varnish type finish as you can.

11. I’m looking for a leather crossbody that is on the larger side. I want to be able to store a full size bottle of water in it (like a Swell bottle). Any recs?

    1. Clare V Veronique

    2. I have the large transport camera bag from Madewell and it holds a ton. I can (and do) easily fit a water bottle in it.

12. If anyone is still reading (maybe I’ll try again in the morning)

    I have a deep gray/charcoal EF holiday skirt, A-line, bias cut, the most beautiful silk velvet – woven, not stretch.

    What would you pair with this to make a cozy holiday outfit? Not office party as above, but at-home nice meal entertaining kind of thing.

    1. https://www.ebay.com/itm/284877513576?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=0i3FiLCHTAS&sssrc=2047675&ssuid=X442MwWVRnm&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

       It’s this color but not stretchy

    2. I would do either a yummy touchable sweater (ivory or black or silver or gold or a holiday bright), or a beautiful white or ivory or light gray satin (or maybe lacey) blouse, as here: http://thatpencilskirt.com/2017/11/day-night-velvet-midi/

       1. Also I like the first blouse here: https://4fashionadvice.com/velvet-skirt-nye/

       2. Oh I love the yummy sweater idea! Why didn’t I think of that. Now off to look for a cuddly pullover in ivory or silver. (gold and bright are not great on me)

          Thanks!

          1. This has total Nigella Lawson christmas book vibes :)

             1. That is #goals, always.

          2. The White Company catalog always has some version of this, or several, if you need more inspiration.

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