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Anon
My good friend is five months pregnant and we were thinking of planning a distanced meet-up (outdoors, likely wearing masks even while distanced). She and I discussed it and we both felt comfortable with a brief visit. However, I’m having second thoughts about visiting because I would hate to put her at risk (I know good intentions don’t always matter when it comes to these things). The CDC currently says “Based on what we know at this time, pregnant people might be at an increased risk for severe illness from COVID-19 compared to non-pregnant people. Additionally, pregnant people with COVID-19 may be at increased risk for other adverse outcomes, such as preterm birth.”
I’m having trouble figuring out how to interpret “might” and “may” in terms of risk and the CDC page doesn’t cite sources. My friend and I are both generally interested in making rational decisions based on the data, but maybe it’s not rational to push things right now when she’s in the middle of her pregnancy? Wondering if anyone has any thoughts, links, or knowledge about whether COVID really does pose significant risks to pregnant women. Ugh. I hate all this decision fatigue and second-guessing everything.
Anonymous
Masked and distanced this is fine. Bring your own food/drink vs sharing. A couple friends and I did a meet up like this in March and it was great. It works well if everyone is on the same page about being cautious. It doesn’t work if people are cavalier about distancing etc. Friend who hosted set out patio chairs 6ft apart in a circle before we arrived.
Anonymous
Do you have state or county guidelines? Ours say the main cause of spread is socializing with someone from outside your household and bars it. In addition, your friend is going to have to have more in person doctor visits and will be at statistically higher risk of infection. I would do a Zoom mocktail hour instead.
Anon
I would err on the side of caution and assume pregnancy is a risk factor for more severe disease, but remember many pregnant women are going to work and/or being exposed to their own children who are going to school, etc. Masked, distanced and outdoors (all 3) sound like acceptable precautions.
Clementine
This is all so hard and I think part of the lack of clarity is because… we don’t exactly know! We can show what constellation of factors makes it likely for transmission to occur, but not in absolutes. There are outliers.
For me, taking into account both mental health as well as risks, I personally would be comfortable with a situation where I met up with a pregnant friend at a distance of 6-10 feet apart, outside, both wearing masks. I think that the likelihood of the two of you transmitting something in that situation is very low (and this is based on guidance from my sister the epidemiologist). However, low is not zero. I would also offer my friend a video visit if that would make her more comfortable.
For me, I noticed a drastic improvement in my mental health when I allowed myself to see others (in a socially distanced + dually masked way to see one other family and my mom).
Anon
It means they don’t know. It’s not like there’s been enough time to have serious studies of the effects of COVID on either pregnant women or fetuses/babies.
Anon
Setting aside my displeasure that CDC has switched to “pregnant person,” I think it’s okay to do if all of the following conditions are met: you both wear masks, you meet outdoors, you maintain 6+ feet of distance, neither of you have been around any known exposures, and you both feel comfortable. It’s impossible to know for sure or to eliminate ALL risk, but I think that’s about the best you can do.
LaurenB
+1 on the displeasure of “pregnant person.” Thanks for nothing, extra-woke people.
But back to the question – I would feel comfortable meeting a friend (pregnant or not) for an outdoors walk, socially distanced, masked, and assuming both parties have been compliant with overall guidelines. And honestly, if you wound up sitting a bit closer to one another for a few minutes if you took a rest on a bench or something, or you took off your masks for a bit to sit and sip and drink, I don’t think it’s the end of the world.
Anon
+1 to the advice and thanks for nothing to the language police.
Patricia Gardiner
+1!
anon
oh yikes. Can someone help me work out what makes me so rage-y about this ‘pregnant person’ kind of language that doesn’t refer to women? I think it is because I want to claim the hardships of a class – the class is being ‘being female’ – and language like this feels like an erasure. And then it feels like the movement to rename experience in this way (‘menstruating person’ etc) reduces the arguing power women as a class have, because we can no longer refer to a body of common experiences.
Anon
I think there is some evidence pregnant women are more at risk, but I also think the risk is hers to take. If you had concerns about your own safety, then that’s your business, but I’m of the mind that you don’t get to make risk assessment decisions for other adults.
Signed,
I wasn’t pregnant during COVID but I got super annoyed about friends raising their eyebrows at brunch and saying things like “Are you sure you should be ordering coffee?”
Anon
Oh yes, I agree, but I don’t want to put pressure on her to meet up or make her feel like she’s disappointing me if she feels better canceling.
anon
Then say that. “I am comfortable meeting up with these precautions, but if you would feel better canceling, I’ll understand. I wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”
LaurenB
+1. I met a girlfriend who has a 1 yo for a walk (baby stayed at home with dad, I never entered her house, we were socially distanced / masked) and I left it up to her whether we wanted to meet for the walk or just catch up with Zoom — obviously she’s the one with a higher set of concerns. I think you just have to be clear that you are happy to go with whatever flow she wants.
Anon
When the family entertainment was guessing if I was pregnant, one of the factors was my coffee consumption. I am a certifiable jerk to people who think they can police pregnant women, so my response was, “The latest research says that a cup or two a day is not a problem. (Pitying tone) I’m sorry you didn’t know that.”
Anon
That’s not jerky at all, I think that’s polite! I would just roll my eyes and say “my uterus, my decision.” *That* is rude haha.
Anon
This. I’m mid IVF cycle and have talked about this extensively with my doctors. Right now, I’m told, the data indicates pregnancy makes you more “at risk” in the sense that your immune system is weaker when pregnant by definition, thereby making you more susceptible to getting it and possibly having a more challenging recovery. Mortality rates are not higher among pregnant women, but hospitalizations for earlier oxygen and fluids and the like (vs hard core ventilator treatment), for example, are more prevalent among pregnant women.
Anon
I would assume they’re just more cautious with pregnant women so I wouldn’t read too much into higher hospitalization rates. You do have a weaker immune system during pregnancy though, or at least I did. I’ve never had colds that were so unpleasant and difficult to get over as I did while pregnant. But I think a lot of COVID deaths are caused by the immune system over-reacting, not under-reacting.
Anonymous
I would just FaceTime her or do a coffee and chat online or something. See if you can come up with an alternative.
Your outdoor, masked, and distanced meetup should be low- risk, but you also have to ask if the reward is really worth the risk. Neither of you will enjoy yourselves while you’re worried about her risk during pregnancy, and you also can’t relax while masked & distanced & trying not to touch anything & sanitizing, etc. It’s also more difficult to communicate.
To get past the decision fatigue, my default decision is always the safer choice. Don’t let exhaustion cause you to take unnecessary risks. The price can be too high.
I’m sure someone will say I’m crazy, but I’m not so crazy that I think I HAVE to attend such a meetup … life will go on just fine without it. It’s a strength not to NEED such things. No offense meant to anyone with differing values, just please consider that this is totally optional.
Anon
Hm yeah, maybe making the safer choice the default is what I should do. This handwringing is already making things not fun, honestly. Thank you (and thank you everyone else).
LaurenB
“It’s a strength not to NEED such things. No offense meant to anyone with differing values, just please consider that this is totally optional.”
This is well put, and honestly, it’s a strength to be an introvert during this time — I can’t imagine the “need” that extroverts have to be around others that I’m ok meeting with phone calls, zoom, etc.
asdf
I think this is your friend’s decision, provided you’ve been honest with her about the precautions you’ve been taking. I understand that you care about your friend and don’t want to inadvertently infect her, but it’s not on people around her to decide what risks she can and can’t take. One of the things that frustrated me most about being was the willingness of other people to make decisions for me.
And, FYI pregnant people get covid at about the same frequency as non-pregnant people, but their disease can be more severe (as it can for the flu, MERS and SARS).
https://explaincovid.org/kids/pregnancy-and-covid-19
Anonymous
If she’s at an increased risk of bloodclots (such as due to obesity or “geriatric maternal age,” ie over 35) then that would be my big consideration. but otherwise outdoors, distanced, and be-masked sounds good.
Anonymous
i think its acceptable to hang out if you are doing all 3 (outside, distanced, and wearing masks). It’s extremely low risk. if you want to be extra safe then just set the chairs extra far apart (eg 15 feet) but in that situation, the risk of transmission is super tiny. i say this as someone who hangs out like this with a very immunocompromised friend. how we do it is she shows up, settles herself into one chair. then i come out a different way (so that im not walking past her) and settle into another chair 15 ft away.
Anon
As a “pregnant person,” I would want to go forward with the meet up with my friend. I have severely limited my contacts while pregnant (and very much want to be in control of my contacts), but not seeing anyone would severely hurt my mental health. I also have felt comfortable turning down meet ups, etc. where I felt uncomfortable. I would trust your friend to know her own risks.
My guess is also that your friend has discussed her risks with her OBGYN. My OBGYN told me she considered her patients “high-risk” for Covid during the early first trimester due to the risks associated with a fever during that time and for OB patients who had a condition like diabetes or high blood pressure prior to pregnancy or who developed preeclampsia or gestational diabetes. She told me that unless I develop these conditions, I need to be careful and wear a mask, etc. but don’t need to quarantine or be paranoid.
Patricia Gardiner
I was pregnant the whole pandemic until giving birth 3 weeks ago. I definitely felt comfortable doing outdoor, masked meetups with friends I trusted. Don’t assume she doesn’t want to do this – talk to her!
Anonie
No one reputable in health care would have an issue with an outdoor hangout with masks in which you and your friend remain 6 feet apart at all times. In fact, even the most cautious people I know are comfortable seeing friends from 6 feet apart for outdoor, non-masked activities like eating (non-shared, individually prepared) picnic food. You clearly are a caring friend with good intentions, but I think some people (not necessarily you) are over-thinking everything and making things too complicated.
Anonymous
IDK, what if the pregnant lady has to pee? Does she go inside OPs house? Or?
Anonymous
She hosts. OP pees before she goes over and holds it like a big girl if she has to go while she’s there. It’s going to be like 2 hours not 8.
LaurenB
Yes. She has a mask on and she’ll be inside for a whole 3 minutes and she’ll wash her hands and walk back outside. Seriously, what do you think happens when she goes to her ob-gyn’s office for a check-up and has to pee? She goes in a bathroom that multiple other women have used, far more than are using the bathroom in question. This is overthinking, and I’m the cautious sort.
AnonMPH
I am quite cautious about COVID, and am, as my username indicates, someone with a public health background, but this question confuses me, as do the responses indicating that this and all other contacts with this friend should just be virtual. Are you all expecting every pregnant woman to see no one besides her husband/partner for 9 months? I have a lot of pregnant friends, including someone who is pregnant via IVF so is extremely cautious, and they are all seeing people at a distance outdoors right now with masks. Some are even willing to do more than that. I am trying to get pregnant, and if/when it happens there are certain risks I have been willing to take as a healthy young, non-pregnant person that I will take off the table. For example, I will probably not get a pedicure (I’ve had two since July), and I will never be flexible when people want to go inside without masks on ‘just for a minute’ (now I sometimes just go along with this even though it makes me uncomfortable/think its a bad idea with aerosol transmission). I will ask my in-laws to wear their masks with me outdoors, which up to this point they haven’t really done and I have not wanted to rock the boat by pushing them. But I am nervous and stressed about being pregnant for the first time, and I would be very hurt if none of my friends were willing to think through risks with me and problem solve ways to mitigate them so we could still see each other within my comfort level. 9 months is a long time, longer even than the pandemic has been going on for.
In terms of the risks to pregnant women, the CDC page is vague because the data is still not clear. Generally speaking, there seems to be somewhat higher rate of severe COVID in pregnant women than of non-pregnant women of child bearing age. There seems to be an increase in the stillbirth rate that is correlated with the pandemic. It seems to be possible, though rare, for a maternal COVID-19 infection to infect the baby in-utero, and it is definitely possible for the baby to be infected during delivery (but also seems rare). Generally, there seems to be some agreement on being more cautious during first trimester, when risk of fever is already proven to be problematic, and during 3rd trimester, when you are getting close to delivery where a positive COVID diagnosis would cause logistical and possible health difficulties. But all of those are just “seems” because we don’t have conclusive data yet. The first prospective cohort studies, the ones that enrolled women at the beginning of their pregnancies and followed them throughout to see if they got COVID and what happened, will not begin to have conclusive evidence for a while yet. Perhaps we will get data out of China in the next few months, but for Europe and the US you will have to wait till March/April + 9 months. Until then, we guess.
Anon
I’m pregnant and would be happy to meet up with friends seated or walking 6+ feet apart. I met up with coworkers last week for a walk outside – we all kept our distance and wore masks.
Anon
I want to urge all California voters to consider voting no on Prop 22. It’s a giveaway to just a few select companies that want to avoid paying taxes and benefits to drivers who, by a large majority, drive for Uber and Lyft at full-time hours. We’re being outspent and subject to flashy ads all the time, but don’t buy the hype! It’s okay if we have to pay more for rides if it means that vulnerable people can access essential job benefits and protections.
Anonymous
Thank you for this as someone who has worked elsewhere as a low paid contractor.
Anon
Hear hear. This is two very funded companies trying to buy their way out of both case law and legislation in California that says your drivers are employees and yes, you have to provide workers’ compensation benefits to them.
They’re spending a bunch of money trying to make it look like Prop 22 is good for drivers, but in fact it is not. Don’t believe their scare tactics. This is Uber and Lyft wanting to remain highly profitable on the backs of low income drivers. It’s the ultimate Eat The Poor measure.
Anon
I am a contractor who needs essential job benefits and protections even if I’m not working full time hours.
Senior Attorney
Agreed.
Horse Crazy
Absolutely! 100% agree. One of the major motivators for my no vote was that independent contractors aren’t eligible for unemployment insurance (outside of pandemic times), so keeping Uber and Lyft drivers as independent contractors bars them from getting unemployment benefits. Plus, they don’t get worker’s comp or other types of insurance. No on 22!
Anon
Is McConnell’s ice cream good? Or other gourmet ice cream/gelato recs? I’m in the mood to pay an absurd amount of money to have fancy ice creams sent to me and I don’t like Jeni’s (I know, I know, please don’t shoot me).
Anon
I live in Santa Barbara (where McConnell’s is based) and while I would say it’s good ice cream, I don’t know if it’s life changingly good or anything. I like it and get it as a treat from time to time but haven’t been blown away.
Anon
Ah bummer. Thanks though. And I’m jealous you live in SB!
Anon
I love McConnells (Bay Area but we visit Santa Barbara a lot) but I think Tillamook is better.
Anon
I should add that my favorite McConnells flavor is their espresso chip. I don’t know if they ship it though. My husband likes their salted caramel.
Anon
Crank & Boom ships good ice cream.
Anon
Funnily enough, I am going to Lexington next month so I will try it and then maybe get some delivered to me if I like it. Thanks!
Anon
I’ve tried a lot of fancy ice creams, but I think Ben and Jerry’s consistently tastes the best. I love the Milk and Cookies flavor in particular.
Kitten
I’ve tried a lot of fancy ice creams, but I think Ben and Jerry’s consistently tastes the best. I love the Milk and Cookies flavor in particular.
Anonymous
Graeter’s in Cincinnati. Their Black Raspberry Chip is to die for.
pugsnbourbon
Also their coffee and pumpkin ice creams.
Vicky Austin
Graeter’s Black Raspberry Chip was my tiny self’s idea of ~gourmet~.
Anonymous
Ha! My grandparents courted at the College Ave location back in the 30s. I’ve never lived in Cincinnati, but Graeter’s Black Raspberry Chip was my tiny self’s idea of home. I still haven’t tasted another black raspberry ice cream with such a deep raspberry flavor!
Anon
Commented up thread but I just went through extensive and expensive taste tests for strawberry ice cream, which is hard to get right, and nothing beat Tillamook. It’s also not ridiculously expensive.
It’s fairly easy to get chocolate ice cream right, but if you can master the strawberry, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be good at everything.
BB
Graeter’s!
anon8
Another recommendation for Graeter’s. I also don’t get the hoopla over Jeni’s.
Anon
I’m not far from Cincinnati, so I can actually get Graeter’s at the grocery store! But I agree it’s good.
Anonymous
Straus, available at Whole Foods or Sprouts. The Chai flavor is amazing.
Another anon
I went to elementary school with the son of the McConnell’s owners! That said, I haven’t had the ice cream in years and don’t remember that we went out of the way for it :-)
Anon
I don’t know if they ship but Bassett’s (based out of Philly) is the BEST.
Anonymous
There is only one McConnell I can think of these days, and my first reaction was, WTF kind of question is that?? We’re worrying about the future of our rights to our own bodies, and you want to know about his ice cream preferences?? I guess I’m a bit wound up.
LaurenB
LOL! This was my reaction too – never heard of McConnell’s! (Never really heard of shipping ice cream when every grocery store carries lots of brands and every town has ice cream parlors, but to each her own.)
Anon
My roommate freshman year of college was from Cincinnati and her parents sent her Graeter’s once but she didn’t understand the concept of the campus post office and going to check one’s mail and it all melted by the time she worked that one out. But I hear it’s really good ice cream!
Wavy-Haired Anon
Frivolous, very broad question: I’ve just realized that my hair has more natural wave than I thought. I’d always called it “straight with flyaways and frizz,” but on a whim I tried “plopping” the other day, and I ended up with tons of waves that stayed even after I slept on them. Messy waves, to be sure, but waves. So now I’ve gone down the rabbit hole reading about Curly Girl Method and it’s super intimidating — but since serious hair and makeup has gone out the window during WFH, it’s kind of fun to experiment. Any tips for a newly wavy girl?
KS IT Chick
Scrunch up your curls as you are putting product in. Use a spray bottle of water with a couple drops of oil to lightly wet your hair and scrunch it when it is damp. Never brush it out, or you will be all frizzies and flyaways again.
I am a great believer in wearing my natural hair. I am fortunate to be a white woman with curls, and me wearing curls normalizes it as professional. If it is normal, then women who don’t have the same privilege I do are less likely to be marginalized for wearing their natural hair.
confused
Wait, people are marginalized/discriminated/treated badly at work for white-woman-curly-hair? I did not know that. Is the expectation that all women straighten their hair?
Anon
There’s a view that straightened hair is always more professional, yes. Among highly “professional” people, curly hair can read “Irish” or “peasant” or sometimes even “Jewish.” I get treated a lot better by certain types of people if I straighten my hair, even though when my hair is styled curly, it gets lots of compliments from people who aren’t invested in those norms. I think this is highly dependent on just how snobby people are being though.
Anonymous
You really overestimate how much other people are looking at you.
Anonymous
Really? S
So now we’ve advanced to no curly hair Irish need apply?
LaurenB
Yes, that’s why there’s never been such a thing as perms or hot rollers or curling irons, because straight hair has always been the most desired. Our mothers’ generation never sat under a hair dryer in a salon once a week with big rollers; that’s just a myth. No one with straight hair has ever wanted to curl it, ever. /s
LaurenB
I have both Irish and Jewish heritage, and I’m pretty certain all of them were peasants in Ye Olde Countries, and my hair is stick-straight. Imagine that!
Anon
Well, I, for one, appreciated the insight. I feel like I’ve seen this happen but didn’t consciously note it.
KP
As a mother of a curly girl I remember it was not so long ago that professional women had to “straighten” their hair (roller setting/blow drying is straightening for curly hair) to look professional. The tide changed just in time for my 2016 law school graduate daughter.
Abby
Check out the reddit for curly girl. There’s a very straight forward beginners guide that I used and saw immediate results from. Be sure to do a final wash (this is different than clarifying wash). When in doubt, check your products in curlscan. Only add one product or new method per wash, otherwise you won’t know what gave your the results. Oh! And take a quiz to find out your curl type, porosity & density.
Wavy-Haired Anon
Looked it up – that is an intense guide! But I need the help. Thank you!!
Anon
Oh hello!!! I have wavy hair and just found out that the curly girl method works for wavies too. I started today and I can’t wait!
Anonyz
CGM can be hard for us wavies. Curly hair is often fine and dry, so products that give them bounce make us look like wet rats. A good resource is “real life+curly girl” on YT; but just watch the stuff from 2-4 years ago. She’s gotten into some weird sponsorship stuff lately and her videos have gone from “instructions” to “infomercials”.
I don’t see a huge difference among shampoos–if it’s sulfate-free and silicone-free, it’s fine for me. I do definitely need a shampoo, though; low-poo or no-poo just isn’t for me. I refuse to tolerate the itching, the stickiness, or the odor of unwashed hair.
Conditioner is harder, I need enough slip to detangle (because I can’t go without brushing out my hair the way curlies do, I WILL get huge knots that turn into dreads) but if it’s too heavy it pulls the curl out. My current HG is the Desert Essence Fragrance Free Conditioner, with the caveat that I’ve gotten fakes on AMZN and only buy direct from the company.
I use praying hands to apply LA Looks blue gel to soaking wet hair in the shower, then scrunch to remove excess water. Plop with a microfiber towel immediately after stepping out. I don’t have curl at the root, so I need to “organize” my hair to make it lay properly and part it. I do this with as little touching as possible, because there is a razor-thin line between “enough scrunching to get good curls” and “too much scrunching that starts frizz balls”. It’s like making cornbread muffins–you can go from “just right” to “over-mixed” in a blink.
Heat kills my curls. A lot of CGM resources will teach you how to diffuse, but for me it just results in limp separated hair that’s more bent than wavy. I haven’t touched a hair styling appliance in over a year.
I have not had success with nice-looking second day hair. I’ve tried several satin caps, but they all give me a headache from the pressure on my ears and neck. Pineappling also does not work for me.
Anon
I have this kind of hair except oily (or it used to be when I was younger), and I have defaulted to a very short pixie that sits like straight hair because it’s so short. Whenever I think of growing out my hair, I remember the pitfalls you mention in this post. Pixie works for my face shape, though I like the look of myself with more hair, just not the hair I actually have.
Wavy-Haired Anon
Haha, I went to look up “real life curly girl” and it turns out I found her last night and already subscribed! The video I found wasn’t too weird, but maybe it was old – thank you for the warning!
I’m going to follow your methods because so far we sound like hair twins – I need to shampoo, and even when I’m going for straight hair, second-day hair is not successful.
LaurenB
So speaking of totes (the post) … what would be a good professional backpack for a late 20s young man in a business casual environment (who uses public transportation to get to his job)? Said young man is still using the LL Bean backpack from college days and needs a bit of an upgrade, but is no fashionista and a messenger bag is not of appeal. Thanks!
Anon
I would look at brands like Herschel. I haven’t used the bags myself and can’t comment on quality, but I see them frequently (or at least I did BC) for that demographic. Patagonia is another option with tons of good choices and they last forever.
Anonymous
Timbuk2 bags are nice and sturdy commuter backpacks.
Abby
Thanks to recs here a few weeks ago, I got the Authority Laptop Deluxe bag from Timbuk2 for my husband! He already has a Patagonia one, but it’s bright colors and he wanted to have a more professional one.
Jules
My 25-y-o likes Herschel and Chrome (although they are currently using their Chrome backpack mostly to carry books to law school on a motorcycle, so looking professional is not their primary concern).
Anon
Looks at mid-90’s era LLBean backback next to desk… I got nothin’
:-)
NY CPA
Tumi
LaurenB
Thanks for the recommendations!
Anon
i live in an area with early voting (TX) and i went to vote this morning by car. there had been a lawsuit by the GOP against this practice, but now there is another suit pending. could a court really throw out all of the votes? (for anyone who is curious, the drive thru voting was literally the exact same process as what happens as when you go inside, with the same machines, so i dont really see how any arguments for fraud or anything like that make any sense)
Anon
I don’t know, but the voter suppression in this election is crazy and terrifying.
Anon
I agree. The GOP-driven voter suppression is incredibly immoral and horrendous to see.
Anon
Totally agree. Did you see the GOP put up a bunch of illegal ballot boxes here in CA? They’ve been ordered to take them down but have so far refused.
They say they’re just going to turn them all in but … sure Jan.
Monday
Why is it up to them to take them down? (And dispose of the ballots already in them?) This is such a threat it seems like a public authority should take them down.
Anon
The fake ballot box thing is SO scary! I know a smart, educated person who almost put her ballot in a fake box. I’m convinced that Trump will win but only because of suppression/fraud like this.
Anonymous
This. The fake ballot box thing in California is super scary. And the hours long waits to vote? That’s like third world country democracy levels of suppression.
Anonymous
What is the argument in favor of this nonsense? To me the GOP seems to have entered evil mustache-twirling villain stage with this stuff but what do they tell themselves is the reason?
Anon
Preventing fraud even though there’s no evidence of fraud.
Anon100
Preventing fraud even though there’s no evidence of fraud.
Anon
No, the court cannot throw out votes that have already been cast. Saying anything else is fear mongering.
Anon
Also, how do Republicans who voter suppress justify the practice? This is democracy. So they don’t believe in actual democracy if it means that they lose?
Anon
They pretend justify it saying they’re trying to prevent fraudulent votes. But really they don’t like the color of people voting in certain areas. They’re not “cracking down” in rich white neighborhoods, that’s for sure.
Anon
They believe that democracy should work the way it originally did in this country: voting is for white male landowners.
Anon
Agreed. I’ve heard rhetoric from the president about “making sure everyone votes is a REAL American.” I think they feel like they get to decide who is a real American entitled to voting rights, which is why these efforts are targeted primarily at non-white and poorer communities.
Anon
I have heard people explicitly argue this. One vote per family, only for families who own property, cast exclusively by men.
anon
wow, that is truly terrifying! How in the world do any women vote Republican then???
Anon
They don’t need to justify it, they get away with whatever they effing want and it drives me crazy. Just one I’d like to see even one single Republican face consequences for their actions.
Anon
Agreed! I meant, mentally/morally/internally justify it to their own conscience.
Elizabeth Warren et al
I bet she is so pissed that Joe is the nominee. And so many other good candidates. Joe is so . . . Vanilla fluff. And Harris absolutely did not shine in the primaries. There were so many other candidates. How did we get here??? Is the secret next time don’t jump in Until South Carolina? Joe would have been torn to bits (rightly) had he jumped in sooner. So disgusted that these two are who this country runs (not this country, just states with earlier primaries than mine; yet again I don’t get a choice).
Anon
Because old white dude in the middle of our political spectrum aren’t seen as “unlikeable” or “identity politics”.
Anonymous
Do you honestly think that Warran would be ten points ahead of trump in the polls right now? This attitude of “whaa the clearly qualified candidate who won the primaries is not MY personal choice so that makes me disgusted” is exactly how we got trump. Also, you do get a choice: you can vote for trump or a capable decent person whom you find boring. You seem to have a real problem with the idea of democracy so maybe trump is the candidate for you.
LaurenB
+1. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Biden was going to have middle-of-the-road mass appeal and mass appeal is exactly what is needed right now if we are going to wrest people away from Trump or convince undecideds. The Sanders/Warren group are so passionate and self-righteous at times that they actually seem to forget that most of the country isn’t like them in the least.
anon
Actually there’s another choice: leave the top of the ballot blank. I did it in 2016 and will do it again this year.
Anonymous
Because the other choices were really, really distasteful to the majority of voters.
Of Counsel
Joe Biden announced his candidacy in April 2018 and was on the ballot for Iowa, NH, and Nevada. In fact, his poor showing in all three led a lot of people to conclude he could not win. And then South Carolina and Super Tuesday came around and he won total delegates pretty soundly (although Sanders won a couple of states and California). Since Super Tuesday is a pretty wide group of states, that was the point at which a lot of candidates dropped out and supported Biden, including Senator Warren.
I am sure Elizabeth Warren wanted to win. I am not sure why she would be more unhappy with Biden than any other candidate who was not her, particularly since she was not a fan of Bernie Sanders. And since she cannot really be VP (she is a sitting Senator from a state with a Republican governor) I also fail to see why she would be unhappy with Harris. And yes – Harris ran a terrible campaign but since the VP candidate needed to be a woman and realistically needed to be a Black woman, she was a good choice.
I get that a lot of people do not love their available candidates but vanilla fluff is sounding pretty darned good right now considering the alternative.
Anon
Yes, I think Warren prefers Biden to Bernie even though they have more policy differences. Bernie was awful to her in the primary and she was clearly hurt/mad.
Anon
I like Elizabeth Warren and would have been happy to vote for her if she won, but I don’t think the Democratic Party is as far left as a lot of people think it is. Hillary beat Bernie in ‘16. It was clear early in this year that the “moderate” candidates (Biden, Harris, Klobuchar, etc) had more cumulative support than the progressive wing (Bernie and Warren). The party is just not overall that far left.
Anonymous
+1. There’s a reason these candidates are losing. And I personally support Warren. The Democratic party isn’t there yet (or won’t ever be) and if Warren had been the candidate, we’d be in a much tighter race/losing.
Anonymous
Joe Biden proves the Woody Allen (eeeeewwwww) expression that 80% of success is just showing up. Wish that it worked so well for me (not an old white guy tho, so my mileage is very different).
Anonymous
I was feeling this way, but I’d urge you to really listen to him. Tonight at the town hall, when he faced that question from the student about helping POC, I have to admit that I appreciated him in a whole new light and was a bit surprised. His answer was complex and nuanced. And the way stats came to him. If I had a day to write an answer to the same question, I don’t think I could have come anywhere remotely in the ballpark. Yeah, he’s not the juicy sound bite. And he does stumble and it is awkward when he corrects himself over phrasing or stats while his words try to catch up with his thoughts.Say what you will, though, he’s not stupid. And he’s definitely more than just being white and showing up. I encourage you to turn your back from the TV and just listen–truly listen. There’s a lot of depth and years of experience talking. White guy or not.
Anon
You thought that was a good answer? I was horrified and embarrassed for him. I thought that was an actual train wreck.
Anonymous
I think given the chaos, electing a boring middle of the road guy who isn’t likely to start screaming at us or press for aggressive policies not supported by a majority of voters is exactly what we need. And he will assemble a smart and competent team fully familiar with where we were before the last election to help him undo as much of the damage as he can.
LaurenB
Yes. It so does not speak well for Americans that we always need to be entertained by our president. Al Gore was “boring” and would have made an excellent president.
Anon
+1 the president doesn’t actually do that much. What matters is his cabinet and advisors and Biden will have good ones.