ByKat Hours Updated
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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Knit Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. amazing Armani sale at NordstromI mentioned it in our Hunt for stylish pencil skirts yesterday, but I'll mention it again here: there is an amazing sale on Armani at Nordstrom right now. Tons of deep discounts (60% off!) on basic items like pencil skirts. I'm a bit obsessed with this beautiful dress — love the cap sleeves, jewel neck, slight flare to the skirt — it's all very flattering to your waist. Looking more closely the bottom hem is made up of lots of little slits, so there's going to be a bit of movement when you walk as well — almost flapperlike but not quite. (Ahhhh, that's why they picked the yucky name “carwash dress.”)  I'd still wear it to work as well as out, but that's me. The dress was (wait for it) $895, but is now marked to $358 right now — with lots of sizes left. Armani Collezioni Cap Sleeve Knit Carwash Dress I think the vibe of this plus-size dress is similar (try this link if the other one doesn't take you to the product page). Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

237 Comments

  1. It’s not totally me (I’d love more sleeve!), but I like it. I really do.

    It is also a bit of Gateway Drug to St. John, no? Like I’m too young and too cool (and too poor) for St. John but this looks like the stretchy and the pleat / carwash thing at the bottom is too wild for St. John . . . so I’m all in.

    It could be a hot mess on me (I’m tiny on top and butt and thigh-heavy), but will put it on my to-try list.

    1. I LOVE this dress. Wish I was wearing it right now instead of my more boring black dress. Oh well. Question about another dress: is this work appropriate for a conservative-ish office or too daytime wedding/church christening/whatever?
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-polka-dot-crepe-sheath-dress/4296556?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=IVORY%2F%20BLACK

      I may be unduly swayed by my love of polka dots but then also worry that the ruching and print combo is not really work-appropriate. FWIW, the ruching is a bit more pronounced in person than it appears in the picture.

      1. I love the pattern but it does read a little ‘daytime weekend event’ for me. Maybe with a blazer over top or a waterfall sweater belted at the waist to stodge it up a bit?

      2. It’s the kind of dress I think you could get away with in the office with navy blazer but I wouldn’t buy it as a work dress.

          1. Thanks all. I suspected this wasn’t meant to be but I never get invited to tea and cucumber sandwich parties so was hoping I could just wear to work. Back it goes.

    2. I don’t own Armani and maybe I never will, because even on deep discount an unlined jersey dress is going for $500!

      1. Is it silk jersey – which would totally account for the price? And, is it really unlined (a single layer of fabric), or are there two layers of jersey, so it is effectively lined, but not with a traditional lining material?

  2. So I lost 8 lbs without trying due to a variety of life factors that are unlikely to be permanent. This is good in the abstract since I always had about 10-15 lbs. I’d be happy to lose, but bad in practice b/c it makes all my tailored work clothes look, well, not so well-tailored. My skirts now hang a bit too low, my pants sag and it’s making everything just feel sloppy. I think it’s too soon to know if this is the new normal so I’m reluctant to buy new clothes or get things tailored. Thoughts on how I can de-frump myself a bit in this situation?

    1. In this situation (weight loss for medical reasons that was not intended and was temporary) I ended up buying a few inexpensive clothing items in the smaller size, so I didn’t feel like a total schlump every day. I’m glad I did because I did not return to my normal size for almost a year.

    2. Dresses. A line, fit and flare. More forgiving.

      This is the story of my life….. I fluctuate 5-10 lbs constantly. So my tailored pants/skirts are always a little to big or a little too tight…. even though I keep 2 sizes of clothes.

  3. I had a contraception mishap last Wednesday. I took Plan B within 2 hours.

    I know to stay off the internet when it comes to medical issues but I found myself looking after experiencing some side effects (heartburn/constipation). I’ve come to find out that it’s “virtually ineffective in women over 165 pounds” (I’m about 180 – tall and athletic). And the primary use of Plan B is to stop ovulation from happening (from my best guess, I ovulated 2-3 days before the accident).

    Has anyone had success with Plan B? Seems like all the internet blogs are about failed Plan B. I guess I’ll know in a week or so but would love to hear if the Hive has had experience with this.

    1. Just to ease your mind a bit, I’m TTC and everything I have read says that sex after ovulation doesn’t lead to pregnancy. Sex on ovulation day and up to 5 days before leads to pregnancy. If you are correct about your ovulation date, you are probably fine. I’m guessing the other way Plan B works is, like birth control, it makes your uterine lining thin so that implantation cannot occur. So even if sperm and egg meet, they might not stick.

      I’m learning from the TTC side of things that pregnancy has to be pretty well timed and that health class really overly scared us about how easy it is to have an oops. Obviously it does happen but it has to be a real parade of horribles.

      1. Thank you for saying this. I took Plan B a week or two ago (probably low risk of pregnancy but wanted to be safe) and I’m still waiting for my period. This week I’ve had some PMS symptoms that I also realize can be pregnancy symptoms and I’m terrified. I know I should just take a test but I’m scared.

        1. Take the test!! Don’t torture yourself like this. The test won’t change anything, it will just give you a more reliable data point than wild speculation.

      2. +1 as to ovulation date. Eggs don’t last that long (like, 1-2 days max) and it takes some time for the sperm to reach the egg. If you’re right about ovulation I wouldn’t be worried.

        1. Thank you all. I’m feeling way better about this. I’ll give you all an update next week!

          Hope everything works out for you too Anon for This!

    2. I’ve taken it 3-4 times after contraception mishaps (some of which didn’t really have much of a pregnancy risk, but I’ve always been paranoid…) and have never gotten pregnant. Think about it this way – people are much less likely to take to the internet and post “This thing that was supposed to work – worked!” You know?

      I won’t offer false reassurances like “of course you’re not pregnant!” because you could be, but be aware that they think that Plan B has a secondary effect of impeding implantation of fertilized eggs…so it still has a benefit, in terms of pregnancy prevention, even if taken after ovulation. And the evidence on the interaction between weight and efficacy is very mixed – that 165-pound number is by no means proven conclusively.

      I know this is a really stressful situation, but you’ve done what you can. Be kind to yourself while you wait, talk to friends/walk through the what-ifs if that’s helpful, do fun distracting stuff if it’s not, and keep us posted.

    3. I had several friends in HS and college that combined probably took Plan B like 50 times and, to my knowledge, none of them ever got pregnant, although they did later on in life when they were trying (I know, very scientific data there). As “If it helps” mentioned, as someone who was recently TTC (and successfully did so), it is usually pretty hard to get pregnant and has to be well-timed.

    4. It is not true that it’s “virtually ineffective” over 165 lbs, that is just passed around because the quality of writing about scientific studies is usually poor. It is less effective. Overall, you are more likely to not be pregnant than pregnant unless I am missing someting. Here’s the study that I think those articles were referring to if you want to assuage your anxiety (read Table 1): https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51644968_Can_We_Identify_Women_at_Risk_of_Pregnancy_Despite_Using_Emergency_Contraception_Data_From_Randomized_Trials_of_Ulipristal_Acetate_and_Levonorgestrel_EDITORIAL_COMMENT

    5. I have a child with a medical condition and we have to constantly recalibrate her medicine dosage every time she gains weight (starting from birth; will be an issue if she ever gets pregnant as an adult or otherwise has a weight that fluctuages). I am amazed that this doesn’t apply to all medicines — it cannot be right that me (125#) and husband (twice that) should take the same “adult” dose. Either I am getting too much of something or he is cheated.

      With something like this, where it’s all or nothing, I’m surprised that there isn’t weight-based dosing the way there is for my daughter’s drug.

    6. I had a contraception mishap in college many years ago, took Plan B and did not get pregnant, although that was long before I knew anything about ovulation so I can’t even estimate if it was before or after I was supposed to ovulate. But chances are you’ll be ok – either you ovulated already so you can’t get pregnant anyway, or you didn’t ovulate yet and the Plan B will be somewhat effective in preventing it (perhaps less effective than in someone lighter, but not completely ineffective). You can take a first response pregnancy test starting at about 5 days before you expect your period, so don’t wait if it will give you piece of mind!

    7. Step away from the internet. It is not “virtually ineffective”. That’s just craziness because people don’t understand safety data and clinical trials. It’s true that it may be less effective, but in the majority of women, it will do what it’s supposed to do.

      To add anecdata, I’m just shy of 200 lbs and Plan B worked just fine

  4. My boss just told me that his “number one goal and responsibility as a manager, above anything else, is to PROTECT me.”

    Whaaaa..?

    This guy is an incompetent, ineffective, micromanaging idiot. We work in a low-key, collaborative environment and I have no noted performance issues, disagreements with anyone, etc. There is really no conflict within our team or with other teams. He is not really senior to me, we are both mid-level, and technically (i.e. according to HR) we report to the same person. I have been at the firm for a year and am finally pushing back a little.

    He asked me why I have stopped cc’ing him on every email. I said “it seems inefficient to cc you on everything, such as thank yous and quick questions, but I always loop you in where necessary.” He said this was poor practice on my part and that yes, he should be copied on every single message – thank yous etc – so that he can fulfill his managerial duties…to “protect me.” From what? Coworkers and management who respect me and are always polite? Office fires? Wolves?

    I don’t at all in any way agree with this viewpoint on management. Isn’t his job to help me help the organization? To support and guide me? To lead an effective team? Do you think he would have said this to a man? I sure don’t and found it soo condescending. (With the background that he is condescending toward me all the time).

    Things one must protect:
    -infants and children
    -domestic animals
    -automobile paint jobs
    -nice wooden coffee tables
    -lips in wintertime
    -competent, experienced women who only sort-of report into you and excel at their jobs??

    1. Could he be referring to office politics? In some firms, partners have to protect their associates from getting canned and having a partner protect you is a godsend.

      1. Perhaps – but not a law firm and he is nowhere near a partner. We have the same title and he has little to no clout. Our company is lacking in typical politics – Swiss firm, ridiculous job security, etc. No one can be fired with cause (often even after egregious behavior) after a 3-month suspension period. I can see wanting protection from a powerful person in a cut-throat firm. This guy has no power and is such a doofus – I guess that is why it bugged me so much.

      2. This.
        My manager protected me from stupid projects that wouldn’t help my career, poor utilization rates (she gave me lots of work) and poor networking contacts and mentors within the company.
        I think it sounds helpful, actually, not sexist, even thinking about it that way (and I think my own self-declared-feminist husband is often sexist, so it’s not like I don’t have radar for these things.

        I think it sounds mentoring.

        1. Ditto. Minus hte micro-managing aspect, I would not be offended by this in the least.

        2. I say that I protect my people and this is what I mean. I protect them from a variety of things and it’s part of my job.

    2. Yes, as your manager it is appropriate for him to protect you- from office politics, from misplaced blame. I think you’re being really dramatic about a fairly benign request and vocab- just cc him. He doesn’t think it is a waste of his time.

      1. Agreed. I would be happy if a manager thought it was his/her role to protect me. That means you have someone looking out for you – because random crap comes up in the office and it’s nice to know there’s someone with your back.

    3. This is full of contradictions. Is he your boss or your peer? Not senior to you but you have been there only a year?
      I actually agree that it is a substantial part of a manager’s job to protect his or her reports.

      1. I agree in theory that protection is part of a manager’s job, but the execution here sounds really stifling and it is all a bit bizarre if he’s her peer and not senior to her.

        I have never worked with a manager who wanted me to CC them on every piece of correspondence leaving my outbox and I hope that I never do, for example.

    4. Add me to the chorus– I 100% agree that it is *part* of a manager’s job to “protect” her/his reports from a whole litany of things, including but not limited to:

      – office politics (you are getting this work dumped on you because Bob in Marketing is about to get fired)
      – feedback they don’t deserve/ will be detrimental to their performance (VP of sales says my report is a F***ING idiot because the client didn’t like her demo. My report is a rockstar, VP of sales is a moron who blew the sale, she doesn’t need to hear that.)
      – stupid assignments they don’t need to do (Lucinda in finance wants to see this years operational data broken out seven ways until Sunday and asks my report to do it. This is not my reports function; lucinda can run her own d*mn reports or hire someone to do it).

      The issue with “protecting” aside, your boss / peer/ coworker sounds like a pain and this should be something you work out with your manager (who should be protecting you from things like this scenario!!). “[Boss], [dude who wants to be cc’d on everything] has asked to be cc’d on everything…is that in line with your expectations?”

  5. Advice on handling the emotional component of TTC? We haven’t been trying for long but my body had me fooled this month with severe nausea and fatigue + a two day late period and I’ve been finding it harder than I expected. The fact that we may need to take a break if it hasn’t worked by September is making it worse.

    I’m sure acknowledging the fact that I can’t control this is good preparation for parenthood but just struggling a bit.

    1. I responded to Plan B above and I’m in the same boat so commiseration. I realized I’m an all or nothing person. I’m not someone who always wanted kids. I was pretty on the fence about the whole thing. But now that I’ve decided to go for it, I just want it to happen so I can keep moving forward or know it isn’t going to happen so I can go with my original plan. This whole “you might be pregnant in the next year” thing is just driving me batty.

      1. This was me too. I was never a person who dreamed of kids and I was very ambivalent about starting, but once it was apparent that I wasn’t going to get pregnant without intervention, it was like all systems go. And I am the opposite of a Type A person in general. FWIW, I now wish I had waited 2 more years to have kids (but that just may be my regret-every-life-choice-I’ve-made side speaking) and, looking back, I was only trying for 6 months before I conceived (with help – pills).

        I have no advice because I know how useless advice is. But, commiseration and in 2 years you’ll look back at this time of your life as a blip and think about how silly you were to freak out this much.

    2. Your body hasn’t fooled you. Step back from the process. Are you reading fertility message boards or blogs? Stop. Are you charting and temping and fretting daily? Stop.

      All you need to do is have sex. Eventually your period will be actually late, and then you’ll take a test.

      If you’ve been trying for a year or actually have fertility issues, obviously you’ll do this differently. But if you don’t you really don’t need to do much.

      1. I disagree. If you are a data-driven person, it is VERY HELPFUL to temp daily so you can see when you are ovulating and time things accordingly. Yes, have s*x every other day starting a week before ovulation, but if you ovulate super late (like I always did, days 18-20), then your timing is thrown off if you are just haphazardly trying to time s*x and not going by your actual ovulation pattern.

        1. And you don’t know if your period is late unless you know when you ovulated. I ovulated 5 days late last months so it was good to know that my period would be coming 5 days late.

      2. I disagree with this as well, depending on the OP’s time constraints. I was in team “laid back, just have sex” and it wasnt’ until I actually started charting/tracking my period that I know *exactly when* to have sex. It worked within 3 months.

        With our second, I charted/tracked and it STILL took 5 months (plus 2 months of “eh let’s see what happens”). I was about to start temping etc thinking something was off in my math.

        It did start to feel more like a chore than fun after the first few months– there were days when I was dead tired and DH was grumpy, and I know we had to have sex or we’d miss our window for the month. Some of the worst s*x we had was during those times, because we both knew we were doing it on schedule. There were months when we had good success at making it fun, but there were others where it was work.

        In the end, we got pregnant and back to our regularly (non-scheduled) sex life, which was much, much better.

    3. When I was TTC, I made a concerted effort to just go about my business as usual for as much of my life as possible. I charted and we got busy frequently, but, for instance, I drank alcohol casually, including a few beers the night before I got my positive test. I know some women try to be on the best behavior from the very beginning, but I really didn’t want to do that, and I think it helped my anxiety.

      1. +1. It took me about 8 months and my life was otherwise business as usual. I made it a goal to be in the best physical shape of my adult life before getting pregnant. We tried new-to-us restaurants, we drank champagne and went to bbqs, we made career changes. That’s not to say it wasn’t disappointing every month, but I had to pick myself and just get on with it (TTC and life) because I knew I was going to have to put myself through TTC again the next month.

        1. Yes to all this. Didn’t change my behavior other than to take a multivitamin with folic acid. It took longer than I thought it would based on high school health class and it would have been way more stressful if I was on my “best behavior” for half of every month while we were trying. I stayed away from all the TTC internets, too, because just seeing all the lingo stressed me out. FWIW, it’s hard no matter what, but the month after my “my body tricked me” scare where my period was actually late and I felt all the symptoms I ended up getting pregnant. Didn’t expect it at all and wouldn’t change a thing about how it happened or the baby I ended up with now.

          1. Oh man, this was me at first. Acting as if I was pregnant while hoping, wishing, wanting to be. And then when I wasn’t, I was so disappointed. For my own sanity, I had to stop.

      2. +100 My ob/gyn friend pointed out that you don’t share a blood stream with the embryo until it implants, which is also when you get a positive test. So I realize there are those who stop drinking, caffeine, etc. while TTC but it’s really unnecessary since nothing you eat can affect the embryo at that point.

        What I did when we were trying was to plan something non-pregnancy friendly for the weekend after P-Day (period day). Like white water rafting, wine tasting, even just grabbing c-tails with friends. I even put money down on activities sometimes. So if it turned out I wasn’t pregnant, I could be like “yeah! rafting!” And if I was pregnant, I wouldn’t mind canceling my plans because baby!

        1. Absolutely true that you can’t hurt the development of the embroyo before implantation. But alcohol and some other factors can impact implantation itself. So refraining from these things is about increasing the chances for successful implantation.

        2. +2; my OB said something like “nature knows you like to drink and gives you a pass”– you actually have a few weeks before anything going through your system is shared with the embryo, so basically, any drinking pre-positive test is fine (within reason, of course). There’s some buffer after a positive test as well.

        3. Trying yet again from moderation…
          It’s true that before you’re sharing blood, your eating / drinking etc. habits can’t harm the embroyo’s development. But if TTC is the goal, those things can impact successful implantation. Obviously you can still get pregnant, but chances of implantation can be reduced by alcohol and other factors. So hurting the embryo / fetus is not the only consideration.

        4. Trying yet again from moderation…
          It’s true that before you’re sharing blood, your eating / drinking etc. habits can’t harm the embryo’s development. But if TTC is the goal, those things can impact successful implantation. Obviously you can still get pregnant, but chances of implantation can be reduced by alcohol and other factors. So hurting the embryo / fetus is not the only consideration.

      3. The first month we tried I was 100% convinced it had worked; I had all the symptoms, drank nothing, tested everyday – nada. By the time we got pregnant, I was so convinced I was never going to that I had a few glasses of wine the night before I tested because I was so sure I was about to start my period. I can’t say don’t obsess, because I get it, but if you can, distract, do yoga, read a distracting book… because otherwise, you will convince yourself, and be disappointed, every month until it happens. But good luck!!!

    4. It can be so frustrating. When I have a month like that, I try to dig in to all the “fun” things that may be off limits or more limited due to nausea/fatigue during pregnancy – I go out for good sushi, I enjoy a good beer, I try to go out to meet friends and distract myself, I work out hard, etc. I also limit my blog reading/Internet searching re pregnancy and TTC….it would get me too obsessed. Instead, I told myself constantly: you are not pregnant until you have a positive test. Don’t even think about it. You’ll have 9 months to read about pregnancy once you’re actually pregnant. TTC was such a mental battle for me. Some days I stuck to my “rules” better than others. Try a few different things and see what works best for you. Good luck!!

      1. I love these comments. We’ve been TTC since March, and the first month, I was having all sorts of phantom pregnancy symptoms. I ended up crying when my period came. Since then I’ve had a chemical pregnancy, and it was so disappointing. I’ve promised myself (and my husband!) that I’m not going to take any tests until my period is a week late. It’s just too much emotionally, and I ended up spending a ridiculous amount on those tests (not cheap). Now I’m focusing on other parts of my life and avoiding the message boards. Once you know you’re ovulating-which was a concern for me coming off the pill after many many years–I think you can really just let things happen.

    5. I’m in the same boat and it’s so much harder than I expected. The thing getting me through now is visualizing myself drinking wine on a patio in the spring/summertime, which obviously I couldn’t do if pregnant. We’re in our 7th month TTC #2 and for the first several months I cut way back on my workouts, cut down on wine and caffeine, etc. Now, I’ve decided that I did none of that when we conceived #1 (on the first month of trying) so I’m going to live my life and only make changes when I have to. (I.e., drink til it’s pink!) I’ve definitely been leaning on DH though, and even though he doesn’t fully understand the emotional rollercoaster this is for me, he’s been very supportive. Hopefully your partner/family/friends can be there for you. Even better if you have a friend who has been there – I also have a friend who ended up conceiving via IVF, so she’s been a great support as well. And yes, stay off the blogs! (Easier said than done, especially if you’re charting like I am.)

      1. Same here, except trying for #1. Going on a year and a month (but I don’t have regular cycles, so don’t be scared that this is typical!). For the first few months I planned my entire life around it, but eventually I realized I just couldn’t stay sane if I did that. Definitely chart if you have regular cycles and maybe do the OPKs too if you can to help move things along faster; don’t go to a country with Zika and take folic acid. But otherwise, live your life.

    6. Thanks folks for taking a few minutes to help an internet stranger. Sense of crisis amplified by a lack of sleep (woken up by a stream of water coming through ceiling – thanks neighbor), arrival of period, and a frustrating day at work. Off to hot yoga (couldn’t do that if I was pregnant -bonus!) tonight so hopefully will be on a bit more of an even keel tomorrow.

      I do think the tracking is helpful, my husband isn’t always up for LGPs and knowing roughly when ovulation occurs can help me decide when to take a break / when to make the effort but no more online browsing.

      1. FWIW, I did hot yoga regularly until 10 days before due date when I just was too uncomfortable to do it anymore.
        not that I recommend STARTING a hot yoga practice when pregnant–not a good idea.

      2. Get the Clearblue ovulation predictors. Minimizes the guesswork on at least one part of the process.

        But I hear you. Every month (it took us many) I would put my body under a microscope. Am I more nauseous? Does my chest look bigger? Etc etc. It is crazy-making and all I can say is, none of that anxiety makes you more pregnant. Drink while you still can if that’s your thing, and get all the sleep you can handle.

  6. After Kat posted that Loft pencil skirt (in yellow, with the front slit) yesterday, I went to the mall specifically to buy it because I thought it would be a great summer basic to pair with white and navy and it was so talked up in the comments!

    None in yellow at my store but I tried the aqua colour. It was terrible. The fabric is weird (textured but in a cheap looking way) and wrinkles easily and the waistband kept flipping over and showing the lining (because of the pockets, I think). Normal Loft/Ann Taylor sizing though. Save yourself the trip.

  7. So it’s been mentioned here that expensive/designer/upscale clothing or bags =/= good quality. If I really want great quality (at any price point) which brands are known to last and stay in great condition?

    1. Sometimes I’m convinced that my expensive clothing lasts so much longer than my “regular” clothing only because I baby it in the laundry… but all things being equal, my clothes from Old Navy and JCrew Factory do look faded, stretched, pilly, etc. significantly faster than, for example, normal JCrew or Talbots.

      For more anecdata, I can’t imagine my dry cleaner treats my JCrew sweaters any differently than my Vince sweaters, so… higher-end brands that have held up very well for me are Vince (cashmere sweaters and silky tops), Armani (pencil skirt still looks like new despite frequent wear over 4 winters), Ferragamo, NM brand cashmere, and Brooks Brothers.

    2. I’ve seen some correlation between lack of sales and good quality. This isn’t going to help you for work wear unless you’re a botanist or canoe builder or something, but LL Bean almost never has sales, and when they do there are hardly any over 20% off. And their stuff wears like iron, IMO. Their canvas tote bags, bean boots, and wool sweaters especially. I bought my bean boots five or six years ago and they look brand new, despite wearing them in the woods, in snow, through mud, etc.

      To me, any store that has frequent huge % off sales is definitely waving a “low quality here” flag. I’m looking at you, Ann Taylor, Loft, etc. Talbots is decent quality for a mall store. About on par with Ann Taylor a decade ago. Brooks Brothers is great, though their outlet is less so, but still good. Cuyana has great leather bags.

      1. Agree. Although you can also wear some LL Bean even if you’re not a canoe builder — I happen to be wearing an LL Bean shirt with my suit right now!

          1. That’s adorable, in an Alicia Silverstone in Clueless kind of way.
            But definitely not for my office.

    3. I think it’s ultimately more about quality fabrics and where a garment is made than designer name.

    4. I have been really happy with my leather coach purse (not one with the logos all over.) I have used it everyday for at least five years, maybe closer to seven since I can’t remember when exactly I got it and it is just now starting to show some wear. It is not something I would consider to be expensive or designer, but did cost more than a purse from Target or wherever.

      1. +1. The (also minimal logos) Coach leather bag I bought two summers ago still looks fantastic and came with a lifetime guarantee.

  8. My allergies are out of control today, and I’m sitting in a seminar just sneezing repeatedly

    Bah, spring.

    1. Same here. I sneezed all morning before I came in, and we’re in the middle of multiple projects so there’s DUST EVERYWHERE. I am a red blotchy itchy mess.

      1. I hate Spring because of allergies. Last night I had both sneezes and itchy watery eyes. I take various meds but they only do so much. Some days nothing really helps.: (

  9. My assistant works alternate hours- she comes in an hour early and leaves an hour early. In theory. Every time I come to work early, she’s not there. I’m convinced that she’s just coming in like 10 min before everyone else usually does. I know it’s not a big deal, really, but it seems wrong somehow. And explains why the work I’ll leave on her chair before I leave doesn’t get done until 10am, instead of being done when I get in.

    1. I hate things like this….

      Is she good, otherwise?
      Is she getting her work done?

      If not, I’d show up a few times an hour early. Let her see you when she comes in …. late. And after she has been late a few times, tell her she needs to shift to regular work hours.

      1. Does she work through lunch? maybe that makes a big difference — to her. Does it to you?

        Or, ask her when she usually gets here and if she’s like to shift to that time or 8-hour shift (like 8:45 to 4:45) instead.

        Sometimes that 15 minutes makes a BIG difference. But, NO to less than the (probably policy-stated) shift hours.

    2. Manage the actual issue. Is your main problem that she’s not getting her work done or that you’re concerned she’s shorting her hours (both are legit).

      If it were me, I would address it first verbally. ‘Bunny. I’ve noticed that when I come in early, you’re often arriving at 8:50. My understanding is that your schedule is 8-4. Has something changed?’

      When they clarify that yes or no it has or hasn’t changed, then say, ‘I often leave you work on your chair that I expect to be done when I come in. I normally expect that this would take you about x time. What can we do in the future to ensure that these items are flagged as a priority?’

      Maybe there’s a reasonable explanation. Or maybe you’re missing something. Or maybe he/she sucks. But ask first. Heck, I once got brought in for a talking to because I was ‘consistently late’ when it turned out that the boss who had not approved my request to come in at 8:30 forgot that my workday started at 9 (at his request).

    3. Does she have to clock in and out? Seems like someone eventually may notice when her hours are short.
      If she’s getting your work done, I’d probably not worry too much about it. If it is causing a workflow problem, then I would say something. If a project is time sensitive, then let her know that it needs to be handled as such.

    4. Maybe she doesn’t realize that when you leave work on her chair, you want it done right away?

      1. Then that’s a bigger problem — any assistant should know that work left for her is to be done asap unless otherwise told.

        1. that’s news to me. if it was ASAP, i sent an email with exclamation points and followed up with a phone call. If it’s on a chair, it’s for “whenever”

          1. As someone who has been an attorney and a secretary, it’s asap if it’s on your chair when you come in.

    5. +1 to managing the issue. If the issue is being short on hours, gather data and discuss her hours with her. Or, if your company has someone who manages assistants, discuss with that person.

      If it’s a work flow issue, communicate that you’d like something done when you get in. FWIW, my assistant gets in about an hour before me and her other two bosses. She uses a large part of that hour to prepare for the day– she checks our calendars, pulls any files or info she thinks we’ll need for hearings or meetings or filings, organizes her own desk, and takes care routine or daily tasks. It’s actually really helpful to arrive and have an assistant who’s ready for whatever the day brings. If I send her something after she goes home for the evening, I specify whether I’d like it when I arrive the next day.

      1. +1 to this and Clementine’s response.

        And I completely disagree with anon above that “any assistant should know that work left for her is to be done asap unless otherwise told.” That’s simply untrue. If it’s something that you expect, you need to communicate that. Leaving work can also signify that you were passing it off to her after she left and wanted to make sure she saw it to get it in her queue. Or a million other things. There’s no universal workflow.

        1. Well of course it goes in the queue unless told that it takes precedence over something else, but OP didn’t say anything about her putting OP’s work behind something else. OP said her assistant is coming in late and not getting work done promptly. As an assistant, your job is to turn around what you’re given. You’re to do that before you show up 45 minutes late, check your personal email and facebook, and chat with other people.

          This is a pet peeve of mine because twenty years ago when I was a secretary, there was a level of professionalism expected that seems to have gone by the wayside. It’s partially tied to computers, which are both a distraction and allow many to do their own typing/revision rather than passing it off, and partially to wages that have become ridiculously low for what is a skilled position. But I just can’t get behind the idea that a good assistant wouldn’t realize that work *left for her* while she’s not there — as opposed to being held to be given to her when both people are present — should be started asap.

  10. Can anyone recommend a good travel blanket that I could take on a plane but packs small? I find that the airplane blankets are too small and I get cold as I can either cover my legs or my top half but not both and I’m only 5’3″!

    1. No blanket suggestion, but you might find a pashmina and a pair of socks work better than trying to find a blanket.

    2. I do a big scarf and I take my flats off and put on socks. My roommate calls the scarf a skanket, a scarf-blanket. But I think the marketing people can come up with something better. Whatever, it still has WAY less semen than airplane blankets.

    3. I’m a travel geek but I love love love my Lug Nap Sac Blanket and Pillow. Available at ContainerStore and amazon. Plush blanket packs up small in matching pillow (about 6″x6″) and then there is an inflatable pillow that you can put in the sac and use. Has a loop handle that you can use to attach to luggage. Comes in cute colors. Mine also has a pocket on the blanket that I can put iphone or headphones into.

  11. In the spirit of the recent anon confessions we’ve had going on here, what is your biggest regret?

      1. Thinking that I had to have “a plan,” a “Profession” and my s&it together at the age of 20/21, which led me to law school. I regret not taking the time in my early 20s to figure out who I was and what I wanted from life, rather than following what I was “supposed” to do. Actually, now that I think about it, fifteen years later I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to figure out what I want v. doing the “adult” thing or the well worn path (law school – OCI – clerkship (that I loved) – biglaw – in house).

        1. +1

          Me too. I regret not taking time off and not exploring more, and being totally wedded to my “brilliant plan” I developed when I was 20 and thought that my success at the LSAT was a fail safe predictor of my success in the legal profession. But then, I’m in a pretty good place right now career-wise, which maybe I wouldn’t be if I’d done something different. Who knows.

        2. +1. I’m about the same point you are (minus the clerkship) and I’m having a mid-life crisis in my mid-30s because I just can’t imagine doing this for the rest of my life. Except I never learned how to step off “the path” or take risks and am starting to feel like I’m too old/experienced to start over.

          1. +1, although with grad school rather than law school. I now have a PhD that’s not relevant to my career and spent my entire 20s (and part of my 30s!) getting it rather than gaining actual work experience.

      2. +1 million.

        Also buying my house. On paper we can “afford” it, but affording it means I am stuck in a job that has me so depressed I can barely think straight. And I can’t quit, because if I do we’ll lose the house and that will crush my husband. So, yeah. I regret my career and my house. Good work, adult me.

        1. Talk to your husband. There is no reason the house should be more important to him than your health. Yeah, he’ll be disappointed, but he’ll get over it.

      4. Wasn’t law school, but it was grad school for a program I was “meh” about, but 21-year-old me thought it was a great idea. Until I saddled myself with $60K in student loan debt, had a nervous breakdown, and can’t think about my 2 years there without getting teary-eyed. It was that good of an experience! If I could, I’d tell my about-to-graduate-college self to chill out, go live at home, backpack through Europe, then figure it out — it won’t be too late for anything!

    2. Not spending more time with my mother, before she died.

      I was her caregiver during her final year, but I should have spent more time with her when I was in my 20’s, early 30’s…. when she was healthy. But I was “too busy” in school/residency etc…. While she was separated from my father, alone, and very sad….

      Spend time with the people who love, before it is too late.

      1. Me too. I had a challenging relationship with my mother for a lot of reasons I’m not going to get into. She died unexpectedly last year, alone, in her condo, and her body was not found for two days. There are days when I feel like I would give anything to have one last interaction with her where I told her that I loved her and appreciated what she did to raise me. Anything.

        1. If you feel this way then your mother knew it without you saying it. Family can be very tough but they also know us very well.

    3. Spending so much time and energy on that one guy who didn’t deserve it and didn’t care about me all that much

      1. +1 Wasting a lot of time on a guy in my early 20s who was very wrong for me and didn’t have his own life together either. His refusal to commit in the way (I thought ) that I wanted resulted in a lack of self-confidence, body issues, jealousy, etc. It took a lot of therapy to undo the damage to my psyche.

      2. Yes. I cried all around Peru over a guy that meets that description. It was still a great trip but I should’ve been celebrating instead of grieving! I know better now.

      4. This with almost every guy. Plus ever making finding the right guy my number one priority when I have literally every single other thing going for me. I guess it can be boiled down to “Not trusting my gut”.

        And letting my brain trick me into thinking the BS on Facebook is real and that those fake lives is what should make you happy.

        1. “And letting my brain trick me into thinking the BS on Facebook is real and that those fake lives is what should make you happy.”

          Sometimes the grass is greener because it’s astroturf.

    4. Going to the wrong university for undergrad which triggered a decade-long downward spiral that I am just now pulling myself out of.

        1. I should have gone to a school closer to home that offered me a scholarship. It would have been a better fit and better financially. But I try not to regret things too much, actually.

    5. Not really something I had a choice about, but without a doubt: the emergency hysterectomy that robbed me of the ability to have more babies.

    6. Not taking time between college and law school to do something just for me (specifically, live out west for a year).

      1. FWIW, I should mention given some of the comments up the thread, I actually do not in anyway regret law school or being a lawyer. As a profession, we are not 100% miserable.

        1. This is me!!! I’m happy with my law school choice (in state less debt) and my current, non-traditional (leaned out) lawyer job.

          BUT I didn’t realize how much I crave outdoor time, being in an environment that celebrates outdoor activity, and participating in that lifestyle with both my job and recreation. I had the chance to work as either a guide or at a ski resort after college, and I panicked and took the secure paralegal job near my then boyfriend, now husband. Now, after law school and a stint in biglaw, I realize I basically spent 15 years working, working, working.

          In a related regret – I can’t believe I didn’t take advantage of what IS here. Now that I have kids, I drag them all over the state just outside our stuffy east coast city and we are exploring amazing destinations that were RIGHT HERE THE WHOLE TIME. There are so many amazing hikes, rivers, and easy camping/weekend backpacking destinations within 1 to 4 hours of our city. I had 15 years with my husband pre-kid, and we did not do ANY of it b/c I was too busy working weekends/general anxiety about facetime, etc.

          But now that I actually have time/my work priorities have been rearranged to spend quality time with my family, my kids are just too damn young. They can’t really camp yet (my 4 yr old does okay, but 1 year old is too old to stay put and too young to be trusted near a campfire or in a sleeping bag – still needs a PnP), and backpacking/rafting is a few years away for both. But my husband and I could have just crushed some amazing hikes and trips, and we just didn’t. I can’t believe how much was right under our noses the whole time we had money and no kids, and how many weekends I lost b/c my head was in a blackberry or at the office.

        2. I posted above about dudes. I am a lawyer who dated a miserable lawyer. He would always defer the questions about how his job are going to me, because I am a rock start who loves my job. I could live without the student loans but doesn’t meet the standard of regret.

    7. Two: 1) Not working harder in high school, and 2) A lot of people might disagree with this, but living super, super frugally to the point that I was constantly miserable (because I lived with a terrible roommate and missed out on a lot of social occasions/trips) to pay off my loans during my first year of biglaw. In retrospect I would have gladly paid a few thousand extra in interest to improve my quality of life for that year.

    8. Not going to the slightly-lower ranked law school that gave me money as opposed to going to the higher ranked school full-price. Not taking time off before law school. Probably just going to law school.

    9. Je ne regrette rien.

      I’ve made bad choices along the way, but I can’t know who I would be if I’d made other decisions, and I’m happy with who I am. You can’t sail the river of Might Have Been.

      1. +1
        A lot of my “regrets” are things that I couldn’t have done personally because I didn’t know any better at the time.
        For instance, in retrospect it would have been a better to go to a different college I was accepted to than the one I did, considering what I wound up majoring in. But I probably wouldn’t have discovered that major if I had gone to that school, and my college experience would have been so very very different. Or if I had known that my scattered-ness (among other things) was a sign of ADHD, getting diagnosed much earlier in life could have made a ton of difference. But I didn’t know, so it wasn’t a decision I consciously made.

        I guess if I had to pick one thing, it would be that I didn’t maintain my fitness level from high school to college and after college, and that I have never found an exercise/physical activity that I enjoy more than “well, meh, I don’t totally hate this.”

        I am often curious how different my life would have been if I took a different path or made decision A over decision B – but I don’t necessarily regret it, because although my life would have been different, I don’t know that it would have been better.

        Ok, one regret. I regret how much time I spent hating my body when I was younger, and how I never wanted anyone to take pictures of me, etc. Looking back, I’d love to have my 15, 20 or 25 year old body again, along with the energy levels and strength that came with that body.

      3. Same. I don’t view any of my decisions with regret. Perhaps some of my decisions could have been better, but perhaps not. I really like who I am now and I have no idea if I could have become this person without all of my past experiences and I try very hard not to spend time thinking about things in the past that cannot be changed.

      4. I want to be like cbackson and SA. I hum Edith Piaf’s “Je ne regrette rien” a lot but can’t follow it in practice. I

      5. Apologies if this posts twice.

        I want to be like cbackson and Senior Attorney with “Je ne regrette rien”. Though I hum the Edith Piaf version a lot, I can only aspire to the sentiment.

    10. Not showing my second husband the door at the end of our first date, when he said I was great but I could stand to lose a few pounds.

      But honestly, i don’t have a lot of regrets these days. Everything I’ve done before got me to where I am now, and it’s so great it was worth it even though it did take more than half a century!

      1. I regret marrying my ex, for sure. I think, either on my own or with someone else, I would have been happier and more financially stable. I’m doing great now, but I feel like I wasted my 30s being married to someone who couldn’t get it together. We didn’t buy the house I still live in in the early 2000s and I often wonder what that would have been like. It was affordable back then…

      2. I don’t regret the first ten years of my marriage, but I regret the last fifteen, when we were having problems that just didn’t go away despite rescue efforts. Yep: fifteen years of a bad marriage. In both my professional and my personal lives, I have a hard time letting go of failing enterprises if I’ve already sunk a lot of time and energy into them.

        But now I’ve turned the corner post-divorce and the future looks a lot brighter!

        1. I’m right there with you. I was married to my first husband for eight years, and felt like I stayed way too long. Then I ended up married to Number Two (the aptly named Number Two heh heh) for thirteen years, at least ten of which were just horrible.

          It makes me gag but oh my gosh it was definitely worth the wait to be with Lovely Fiance!

    11. Not appreciating my body when I was younger.

      Other than that, I try not to have regrets. I enjoy being a lawyer. Everything that has happened to me before has brought me to where I am now. And I’m generally happy.

      1. Yes, this!! I used to be a size two and hated my body. Absolutely insane. I’ll never be that size again.

        1. I’ve hated my body since the 2nd grade, when the boys on the school bus called me (and my ancestors!) fat. But I look at pictures and think I’m just a slightly chubby (or not) little kid. And I h-a-t-e-d my high school body, but would kill for it now!

      2. ugh this. I never hated my body but everybody told me to.

        i was just my happy self but then all of the adults and some children pointed out i was fat. I’m seriously convinced if my parents hadn’t told me I had to eat less, be less, have less personality, that (1) I wouldn’t actually be “obese” now and (2) it wouldn’t have taken me until 30 to become the confident me that I am.

        so I guess I regret being influenced by others?

    12. Not studying abroad in college because I didn’t want to leave my ex boyfriend (who actually may have been a sociopath). FWIW I am really glad I went to law school, and really like my current job, but still think that it is a really bad decision for like 80% of the people that go.

    13. Not taking more pictures of myself. I went to a wake last night and saw a slide show. And then I was looking at the photos of my phone and I never take any of myself because I always make excuses.

    14. I tend not to have a lot of regrets, but I do regret not postponing my very small wedding ceremony 1 1/2 months until my sister got home from college. It seemed like such a long time to wait at the time, and looking back on it 1 1/2 months was such a short time and she should have been there.

      Although, as a consolation, she’s mormon so I didn’t get to see her get married a year later either. So while we’re relatively close, neither one of us were at each other’s ceremonies.

    15. Not getting help for my anxiety sooner, and then beating myself up about choosing to go on medication that has transformed my life.

    16. Changing my undergrad major from a BS to a BA … based on “advice” from an advisor that I never should have taken

    17. Quitting gymnastics because I got scared.

      I sometimes regret going to law school but I don’t think I would have ended up in NYC or met my husband if I’d followed a different career path. So I regret spending the money but don’t really regret the decision.

    18. I think there’s two –
      1 – that I didn’t take some opportunities presented to me to travel abroad more in college. I couldn’t done it but my school at the time wasn’t set up to really accept study abroad credits until after I left.
      2 – that I didn’t just say screw the cost and take the full year internship I was offered at a children’s theatre the year after I graduated. I want to get back into working in the arts but have been having difficulties with it because I’ve been out for so long.

    19. Not seeking therapy and medication sooner, when I was depressed after having a child. I didn’t enjoy any of the first couple of years of his life.

    20. Not dating more in my early twenties and settling down for a guy when I didn’t want to be settled down because of cultural pressures.

      1. Ooh I can relate to this. I’m wondering now how to strike the right balance of trying to put myself out there and meet someone fantastic, but not rush too quickly into the next stage of life.

    21. I don’t really have regrets, but I do think that I wasted a bit too much energy being upset or otherwise dissatisfied with various things when I was younger. I could be in the same great place where I am now and have enjoyed the ride a little more.

    22. Not studying harder in graduate school so that I can have the job I now so desperately want but will probably never get.

  12. What would you do if you were sitting in a meeting with someone and for over an hour you saw this person repeatedly wipe his/her nose with their hand, almost to the point of picking (probably had an irritant there or thought they had a bat in the cave) but then at the end of the meeting wanted to shake hands?

      1. Same. His nose wiping in the meeting lacks a bit of refinement, but I’ve been there once myself (could not get up to leave, did not have tissues). I was already horrified about it and would’ve been even moreso if someone made a big deal. Having said that, I don’t think I offered my hand to others after the meeting.

    2. A strategy I’ve used: When they extend their hand, I clasp mine together and say “Sorry, my kid has pinkeye! I’m going to be extra-cautious and not shake anyone’s hand today!” with a sort of casual, light tone. Only works if you don’t shake anyone’s hand in the meeting. And substitute “partner with strep throat” or whatever to suit the occasion. But pinkeye is especially effective.

  13. Pretty much my whole life I have been careless and sloppy. I throw my clothes on a chair when I take them off. I leave my wine glass on the coffee table for two days until I bring it to the dishwasher. I open a bag of tortillas in the kitchen and leave the plastic tear-off thing on the counter. I leave cabinet doors open. I put things down rather than putting them away.

    Has anyone like this trained yourself to be careful? I have a friend that I admire so much who is so careful with her things. She has a 10 year old car that looks brand new because she’s kept it so well maintained. I’m starting to get to the point in my life where I can afford better quality things, and I’m worried I’m going to treat them carelessly and mess them up. Any tips or tricks on how to make caring for my things a habit? Is this something I can change about myself?

    1. Do you read un-f*ck your habitat? I’m pretty type-a about order and cleanliness, but my messy guy friends have really liked it as they’ve tried to ‘adult better’ in their late 20’s early 30’s. A few other things I’ve asked my husband to start doing that he’s responded well to
      – we keep an empty basked at the bottom of the stairs. He can do a sweep of everything that belongs upstairs, pile it in the basket, and it comes up with him at night
      – I’ll set a timer for 10 minutes after dinner. Before we both sit down and relax we do a quick sweep clean for 10 minutes (sort mail, load/unload dishwasher, spray down surfaces, put away coats and shoes in the hall, etc.)
      – Train yourself to think of doing something now as helping ‘future you’ – for example, I prefer to unload the dishwasher at night, even if I’d rather sit on the coach and chill because I know not having to do it in the morning when I’m rushing around trying to get out of the house helps ‘future me’. And sure enough – it is enough to convince both of us to do one or two small chores.

      1. Ha, I always think about how much “future me” is going to love “present me” for backing into my parking spot at work. I need to remember that future me will also love present me for folding the laundry when it’s done drying and for making that phone call to set that bill up on auto-pay!

        1. True dat. Midnight me last night got this morning me a coconut water and an ibuprofen. She’s swell.

    2. I’m the same way, and here is something that has started to help me. If a thing takes me less than a minute, I do it right away. Sort the mail, close the cabinet door, take the trash out, hang up the coat. I also do the trick that anne-on mentioned about remembering that I’m helping out “future me”. I also will typically do a 10-15 minute cleanup at night after my kids are in bed. I commit to doing as much cleanup as I can in that time, and then I can relax/do what I want to do. You can do an amazing amount of tidying in that amount of time if you do it every day. And there are certain things I do every day no matter what (load dishwasher, sweep).

      1. Yes! The minute rule is amazing and had helped me so much. Why do I put dishes in the sink and not the dishwasher that is less than a foot away? The minute rule helped me realize how inefficient I was being.

    3. I am not fully reformed but the only thing that made me even realize my own messes was marrying someone much cleaner, neater and tidier than me. He goes bonkers over the little plastic thing on the counter from opening a package and not throwing it out. Half the time he just cleans it up, half the time he points it out to me. Now that I know how much it bothers him, I make a much stronger effort to take care of it. That said, I’ve had a pile of folded laundry on my bedroom floor for 3 nights. Baby steps. The first step is recognizing it. You seem to be there. The next step is doing something about the easy ones.

    4. DH and I are like you. We have a motto we try to follow which is “don’t be lazy.” We say it to each other and I say it to myself.

      We aren’t ever going to be perfect, but we can close cabinet doors. He can put a dish in the sink or dishwasher instead of leaving it out. I can hang my coat up.

      1. Yeah – I’m like the OP too. I’m more likely to clean because other people are coming over than for myself.

        So, I just make a point of inviting people over every couple weeks :)

    5. I’m a very tidy person, but even I get lazy sometimes. I tell myself “if it can be done in five minutes, do it now rather than later.”

    6. I am like you but I’ve found I prefer to be a little bit lazy all day long and then spend 5 minutes in a spree of putting things away at the end of the day/weekend.

    7. I make myself clean up every morning while the coffee brews. Since I have a slow coffee maker it normally means all the dishes get in the dishwasher from the day before and the counters are wiped down. It’s baby steps but I need coffee every morning and would otherwise be checking things on my computer.

    8. I’m a slob, but I really really really don’t want to be.

      I work hard at it, since it’s not natural for me. I have an alarm on my phone for every evening to remind me to clean for 15-20 minutes.

      On weekends, I set aside 2 hours for more intensive things, like cleaning my car (which is like a dumping ground disaster)

      It’s a constant battle. I’ll never be one of those people who is just neat and tidy without thinking about it, but I can at least give the illusion I am!

    9. I think a lot of it is just habit… If you start with, I’m going to hang up my coat every time I take it off, and just have that extra awareness for a few weeks every time you take it off, eventually you get into the habit and its automatic to just hang it up. This is easier to do if it requires the fewest motions possible, like an easily reachable hook, rather than having to open closet door, get out hanger, put coat on hanger, return hanger to closet, close closet door. Also the more you work at keeping an area to its clean state, the more you notice if that clean state is infringed on (e.g., clearing off kitchen counters every single night).

  14. What do you wear as a coat in spring? For those in between days where you need to wear something over your work wear? I have a basic tan trench, but it doesn’t feel right most days….

    Options?

    1. I think a trench coat is actually the perfect option. I also love my green army-style anorak but it’s very casual (I work in a casual office). What about a trench in a fun colour?

      1. I have a variation of this, but it doesn’t look right over my work clothes. Also, it is short and I think I need longer coverage that can work over cardigans/suits etc..

    3. I just got a green army jacket – one layer, cotton. It is not as warm as my trench but is good for those days when you want one thin extra layer. I found it at Forever 21 for maybe $30.

      1. I think I’m looking for something a bit nicer… not so casual. I’m in heels/tailored clothes… I don’t think a $30 army jacket is my style.

        1. I don’t understand what’s wrong with the trench…it seems to fit the rest of your style the best out of the options noted.

    5. What is it that feels wrong about your tan trench? I have a black trench and a navy trench, since tan looks terrible on me.

    6. I wear a black trench, but a tan trench is a pretty classic color and style. I’m curious as to what you don’t like about it.

    7. Boden everyday mac in a fun print. It works when it’s rainy, and it’s solid & warm enough to pass for a trench too.

    8. You know… You guys figured it out. I need a trench, but in a different color. Tan isn’t a good color for me. I am more of a black/blue/grey girl with jewel tone accents.

      Thank you!

      Any favorite brands for non-classic trench colors?

      1. Club Monaco has nice “alternative” trenches if you want something a bit different.

      2. I have had good luck with Michael Kors trenches, and because they go on sale/make it to nordstrom rack, etc., they tend to be an affordable option.

  15. All, I’m looking to add a “fun” blazer or two to my work wardrobe. I have all the basics – black, white, grey, navy, and olive green – covered.

    Any suggestions for specific blazers to add? I wear a lot of dress or skirts with blazers and my office is on the more formal side of business casual.

    I’d ideally like to keep costs under $150.

    Thanks

    1. J Crew always has tons of blazers in various fabrics and colours. The Regent style is popular. There are fun linen ones for summer available right now, and they’re having a sale today!

    2. I have a bright pink Tahari jacket that always gets a lot of compliments. It’ several years old though. Pink would go with all of the neutrals you’ve got.

  16. Files this under “I acknowledge in advance that I am fortunate to have this problem”….

    I am suffering from total design paralysis. I can’t mess up the renovation of my living room/bar area that badly, right?? Neutral wall color, neutral rug, neutral flooring, neutral granite counter tops. If I could pay someone $100 to make decisions for me on the spot, today I so would. There’s a reason I chose a profession in spreadsheets and numbers all day long. Sigh.

    1. I found Pinterest really helpful. Also, don’t do too much neutral or it ends up looking very blah. I found that throw pillows were the easiest way to add some interest.

      What about:

      Walls in Behr Perfect Taupe (a really beautiful greige) or Navajo White (the perfect creamy off-white not quite sand color) with semi gloss white trim

      A woven rug from West Elm (I like this one: http://www.westelm.com/products/tile-wool-kilim-platinum-t982/?pkey=cmoroccan-style-rugs%7Cflatwoven-rugs )

      Pick the granite that you like that works with your cabinets.

      Put an interesting piece of art on the wall or a fun mirror and then go to Home Goods and buy 2 sets of colorful throw pillows you like. (I assume you have a couch in this area?) Use the ones you like the best, return the other ones.

      1. We are getting wall-to-wall rug in one area (finished basement / living room in a split level). We have a dog. I would love a light color, like the one you linked to, but I feel like that’s a recipe for disaster with our black lab. How dark would you go on the carpet (thinking dark = better for dog) with a wall like the color you suggested (and I love, btw)?

        Or, do I just get the carpet I want, and be religious about vacuuming/professional cleaning, as needed?

        THANK YOU!

        1. We have light neutral W2W in our finished basement and it’s a disaster (installed by the people we bought the house from — I wouldn’t have chosen such a light color). Our dog is a ‘doodle and non-shedding, but he’s big and he tracks dirt in from the yard and it’s just gross. No amount of vacuuming or steaming gets it fully clean.

        2. This is when you need something in a pattern, or has variation in the coloring. Can still be neutral, but work in browns, grays, or blacks and it will help mask the dirt/dog hair.

        3. We used to have a black lab with light off white carpeting, it really wasn’t that bad, especially in the areas of the carpet that had flecks of coloring in the carpeting. The worst places were the carpeted stairs where you could see the hair in the corners.

        4. I have a big, goofy yellow lab and a kid and oddly, it’s been wine-drinking friends who have done the worst to that rug (spilling coffee on it, ironically).

          So, full disclosure is that I don’t do wall to wall carpet. The house we moved into has white wall to wall carpet installed in the basement and on the basement stairs (why, I will never know). Would you ever consider carpet tiles like Flor tiles? http://www.flor.com/finer-things-taupe.html

          If you’re going for carpet, I would probably pick a neutral that matches your dog the closest. I just recently found out that berber is actually really bad when you have pets- their claws can get caught in it. Maybe something like this: http://www.lowes.com/pd_663396-59678-149AO_1z110ebZ1z0s8fc__?productId=50370542&pl=1

        5. We also have a black dog, I wouldn’t say darker is always better for carpet. I’d say get a medium color with plenty of variegation/pattern. Black actually shows a lot of non-dog hair dirt, speaking from experience. And a uniform neutral like the one linked above will really show any stains (this is 10 years experience over 2 houses).

          I would suggest looking for examples of the feel you want for a room, and imitating that. Also if you have a friend with a good eye for this stuff, ask their opinion.

        6. Fellow black lab owner. Get the carpet and color you want and get a Roomba. I like dark floors so I have medium dark hardwood in most of the house, but light carpet and rugs in some areas. The only places that look bad are where the Roomba has trouble getting.

      2. +1 for Pinterest.

        I re-did my whole house a year or so ago, and pretty much everything is copied or adapted from Pinterest. Houzz.com is even better because you can type in your search terms (“living room with granite bar”) and it will show you a million photos. And the comments often tell what materials they used.

    2. You can hire a color consultant! Google for one near you. They’re probably about $100/hr and will work just on specific projects. I used one a decade ago and she was fabulous. The toughest thing about color is undertones – you can mess up neutrals, because some lean pink, some lean green, etc, and newbies often have a hard time seeing those differences.

      1. This is what I was going to say. You CAN hire someone to make those decisions for you! It’s a fraction of the cost of the materials, and I would do it in a hot second on a major project — avoiding the buyer’s remorse when you look at your “something’s just a little off but I can’t put my finger on it” room (my kitchen is like this, having been redone by the previous owners with incompatible neutrals.) every day would be totally worth it.

      2. Look for an interior designer who would work on this kind of limited project. We hired a young one to help with a similar situation and paid her by the hour.

    4. Do you have time? If you have a couple weeks, you could get a design consultation online. I like home decor/interior design, so I read a lot of blogs that offer design services…you take pictures and send them info on what you have/want, and they come up with a design plan. Emily Henderson is most like my style and who I would pick if I were in your situation.

      Alternatively, +1 to picking an image that you love off of Pinterest or Houzz. The trick, for me, is to just pick one. Then stop looking. Copy that image. If you keep looking forever, you’ll end up with design paralysis again.

    5. Might be too late, but maybe you subscribed – check out Heavenly! It’s $79 for the basic design service, it was perfect for me when I was in your shoes. I got a couple of their recommendations through their site, and everything else was variations of what they showed me on my own. I’m leaving the “trinkets” and such to gather over time when I love them, but I got a new rug, coffee table, pillows, dining table and chairs that go together but aren’t “matchy”, and I’ll be buying some bookshelves similar to what they recommended on my own. I’m looking forward to doing my bedroom with them too!!

  17. I always love it when this topic comes up because I’m curious about the answers: What is everyone wearing today?

    Me, in my extremely casual business casual office: Skinny jeans, drapey white blouse by Pleione, black cardigan, black J Crew CeCe leather flats.

    1. I am wearing a jumpsuit (!!!!) from Asos in jersey, and a super old (like 11 years old) BCBG blazer in white with black/pink stripey pattern. J crew pink and gold necklace, silver oxfords.

        1. Thanks! I am really unnaturally excited about it – like I am being fashionable but in secret. ;)

      3. i’m wearing silver/pewter tassel loafers today! they are one of my most versatile pairs of work shoes (and incredibly comfy to boot!)

      4. YEAAAAAS. I have a jumpsuit and it is soooo comfy. I throw a blazer or cardigan over and boom, stealth fashionista!

    2. I’m glad you asked because I love my outfit today! I’m a little more casual than usual but it’s a no-meetings day so what the heck?

      Cobalt BR Sloan ankle pants, citron heavyweight silk tee, J Crew white tweedy moto jacket with navy trim, navy pumps with cobalt toes.

      1. Ha ha, I’m waaaay more casual because I just came from PT and we’re in finals and things are just a lot more casual right now.

        Old Navy super skinny ankle length jeans, sleeveless linen pocket tee in navy, black cardigan, rosegold Bella Vita lace-up flats

        1. Oh, for god’s sakes. It happened again where my whole name has appeared. Ugh. I give up.

      2. Your outfit sounds lovely. If I dressed like that my coworkers would ask if I had a job inteview!

    3. Light gray pants, coral silk button down short sleeve, navy cardigan, silver and navy striped tie belt from JCrew in 2003 (survived the cleanse of cleanses and must be worn!), red pumps, silver pearl necklace, and pearl earrings. :0D

    6. Gray trousers with pale glen plaid pattern, black square-neck flutter sleeve top, black cardigan (to ward off office chill), black suede platform Oxfords, green quartz drop earring and hair in a twist. Four outdoors, a large grey wool shawl and my (new and so beloved I cannot stop talking about it) LV Artsy.

    7. Blue, purple, and white color-block dress from Anne Taylor, and navy blue suit blazer from Ann Taylor — The first suit jacket I bought with my first “real” paycheck!

    8. black button down, burgundy pencil skirt, black tights and leopard print flats.

      1. Is it still cold where you are? I would feel a bit strange wearing black tights in May!

    9. Navy JCrew Minnies, white tank with a blush colored thin cable knit sweater over it. I have on a super fun pair of bright multi-colored, floral, pointed toe, d’orsay flats on.

    10. Hot pink short sleeve boden shift dress with pockets, Black cashmere Lark & Ro cardigan with pockets, One grey suede Mary Jane flat and One Black walking boot to accommodate my badly sprained ankle, plus silver jewelry and black tank watch.

      Feeling fairly well put-together considering my ankle…

  18. I just googled our incoming college summer intern. This kid has somehow not heard the advice to clean up his social media. Beer pong, degrading comments about women, frat parties. So excited to have this human with us for 10 weeks. Do we want to take bets on his chances of coming in hungover every day?

    Dear HR: it’s about more than the transcript.

    (I work for a major corporation where interns are handled nationally and parceled out, so we have no control over who we get.)

    1. Maybe his first project should be putting together a presentation on how to appropriately use social media?

    2. Well, at least you know he will be good for happy hours and social events. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. There were definitely things that young me did in college that professional, mature me would not have been pleased about. I’m grateful for all those people along the way who were able to gently guide me on how to adult.

      1. Yeah, the beer pong and frat parties don’t bother me. On the one hand, I know the advice is to clean that stuff up, on the other hand, why can’t someone go to parties on the weekend and be a responsible professional person M-F? While beer pong wasn’t my forte, I have won my share of flip cup and anchored my share of boat races, and yet I’ve managed to handle work just fine. Thankfully there was no FaceBook when I was in school.

      2. I would have trouble chalking up “degrading comments about women” to youthful indiscretion.

    3. I had a professor in college who went through the social media accounts of everybody in the class before the first day and showcased an embarrassing photo every week for the rest of the semester. I took him for an elective later on (he was sarcastic and had a big ego, but knew his stuff COLD and prepared me very well for my career) and he told us he had somebody leave the intro class crying that day. “Employers are watching,” is what he said.

      Also, once my younger brother (he was 19 or so at the time) tweeted about being bored at work and getting paid to goof around on the Internet all day. I called our dad…. who was employing him at the time…. and told him he obviously needed some work. Brother blocked me on Twitter. I told him he was lucky it was just me.

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