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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 100 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Rian D’Orsay Patent Leather Kitten Heels

Coffee Break· Under $150

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Rian D'Orsay Patent Leather Kitten HeelsAnn Taylor is offering an extra 50% off of all sale styles, no code needed, through the end of tonight. There are a ton of cute pieces, but for today's coffee break I'm liking these well reviewed, kitten heeled d'orsay pumps. At 2.5″ they strike me as really walkable (complete with a padded footbed!); and the “sweet biscotti” color will be nude-for-me for some very pale person out there. The shoes were $118, but are now marked to $99.99; with the sale the come to $50. Rian D'Orsay Patent Leather Kitten Heels (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Droid Apps?

    I have just joined this decade by ditching my Blackberry in favor of a Droid. What apps do you overachieving chicks suggest? What case do you like?

    • rosie

      Call Confirm! When I got my Droid, I accidentally called several people because I was not used to the touchscreen.

    • Droid Apps?

      Apparently I also need a YouTube video on how to use this thing because I have no idea how.

      • preg anon

        I just left my Blackberry, and I really miss it. Just saying. It’s okay to mourn your loss although others won’t understand. I’m actually even thinking of switching back.

        • Droid Apps?

          I broke up with blackberry because it wasn’t simpatico with Google, which is the same reason I didn’t want an iPhone (you just know Apple’s going to try Apple Maps again). Once Google killed the blackberry gmail app, gmail was all but inaccessible on my phone since the regular blackberry inbox couldn’t handle gmail folders and tags etc. My blackberry didn’t like GoogleMaps either. And though I had almost no apps, I was annoyed I couldn’t get some basic apps that I actually did want, like Fandango. That said, I suspect I will miss the simplicity of blackberry. FWIW, one of the staff has the new Blackberry after being rather meh on his previous blackberry and enthusiastically adores the new one.

          • just an fyi

            but you can download google maps on an iphone – I use mine all the time . . .

    • TCFKAG

      If I say Angry Birds does that lose me my overachieving brownie points? Also if its available for Droid, check out Peggle.

      And the NY Times app is great as is the Kindle app for phones. I like Pandora of course and also this one where you can listen to any PBS channel anywhere.

      For travel, one of the best things is you can usually download an app for any city you’re in to get public transit directions from any address to any address, its wildly useful. And for highway driving, iExit can be an absolute godsend (it tells you all the food and services available at each exit on the interstate).

    • NOLA

      This question made me laugh because my apps are so specific to me – WeatherBug, Hurricane Center, ESPN Scorecenter, Parade Tracker, Kitchen Timer, MLB At Bat, Capital One, Fly Delta.

        • NOLA

          It is a pretty awesome app! Especially when you’re trying to decide what you have time for between parades (potty break, get another drink, etc.)

      • a passion for fashion

        i love that you have At Bat. I have it with mlb(dot)tv and have been known to watch actual live baseball games while in meetings with state supreme court justices, among others. in my lap, of course.

        • NOLA

          I’m the envy of all the guys at church because I have the MLB Extra Innings package and the MLB audio package.

          • MU JD

            NOLA – You are my hero. I have the audio package but not the t.v. package. (We also have many of the same apps – with the exception of hurricane center and parade tracker -since I live in the midwest and we don’t have hurricanes and our parades are limited to holidays.

  2. For the child-free by choice

    For those who didn’t “always know” that they didn’t want kids, how/when did you know you were comfortable not having children?

    For some context, I’m single in my mid-thirties and I always figured I’d have children by now. Every long-term boyfriend I’ve had wanted at least two kids and I was happy to consider it and always assumed I’d be a mom anyway.

    I’ve always been ambivalent at best about kids. I worked with kids through college and had fun but was never really nurturing or motherly. I occasionally hear the biological clock, cry my empty womb to sleep, and wake up fine the next day.

    I’m dating a guy who is ambivalent about kids too. For the first time, I’m questioning the “I will eventually have kids” assumption I’ve made about my life. Honestly, I feel mostly relief—like a huge burden has been lifted, a wound has been lanced, or a fever has broken.

    Is this a process other women here have gone through?

    • Susie

      We discussed this not too long ago, but I’m pretty much in the same boat (except I’m married and early 30s and have never experienced bio clock ticking.) My preference is no kids and I’m on BC but if it happens it happens. My husband is also ambivalent, though slightly more pro-kids than I am. I love my life – focusing on my career and the flexibility I get to enjoy. When I was younger I assumed you went to college, got married, and have kids. I never really thought about it, just assumed that’s what growing up entailed, but the more I actually thought about it I realize I don’t actually want kids.

    • ITDS

      I knew as soon as I got into a serious relationship with someone who wanted kids, and was faced for the first time with the chance to actually have some, that I didn’t want them. I hadn’t really given it much thought, as I was only in my very eary 20’s, but as soon as it became a real possibility I was overtaken with a sense of horror and realized that kids are not for me. Broke up with that guy, and met DH soon after, and have enjoyed 15 years child free, no regrets.

      • OP

        “overtaken with a sense of horror”…mine is/was always more dread at the pit of my stomach which I think I’ve been mistaking for butterflies. Thanks!

    • Anon22

      I am in my early thirties as well and like you I thought, you grow up, get married and have kids. Not married but I have been in a serious relationship for a few years. While I enjoy spending time with kids from time to time, I am also feeling ambivalent about having my own. My current bf definitely wants at least one or two but when I think about I feel…exhausted. Maybe this is related to how the last couple years have been, so hectic, I just finished graduate school, guess it’s wait and see though I know I don’t have forever. For now I am happy the way my life is and I think some of the ambivalence might also come from seeing just how much work kids can be and that yes, there are pros and cons. I don’t think it’s unusual to be ambivalent just that for most people being a parent is assumed to be the default. Wish there was an easy answer for this but I guess some things you just figure out as life goes on. Interestingly I once read that women who didn’t want kids had higher levels of testosterone–not as high as men of course. Not saying this is the case here just abit of trivia….

    • Marie Curie

      Well, there’s the story of how I was 12 or so and thought, I somehow want kids but then again I only want them if I were a man because men get all the fun with kids and none of the work. Some time later, I discovered feminism and that women don’t have to do all the work with kids and that it’s perfectly okay to even not want kids at all. Now I’m 25 and I absolutely don’t want to have children. In fact, most children make me physically anxious because they make so much noise and I have sensory issues with noise. I don’t have any desire to hold or touch a child and I don’t find them cute. Having a cat is sometimes too much responsibility and I can’t even imagine caring for a child for years.

      My mother has come to terms with the fact that she won’t get grand-children though I don’t think she takes it all seriously because I often get, “Oh, I didn’t want children when I was your age either” or “You might still change your mind, what if you meet someone” etc. In fact, I haven’t met any man yet (in the romantic sense) who didn’t want children or was leaning towards having children, just not now. Even my current partner says he’s undecided, but he’s also said that holding his newborn niece for the first time was the greatest feeling ever, so I suspect he does want kids after all. I’m fairly sure this might end up as a dealbreaker for our relationship some time soon and I dread the day, but I’m not willing to have a child if I’m not 100% sure I want one.

      Almost all of my female friends don’t want children either, so at least I don’t feel like a complete outlier.

      • Orangerie

        I haaaate when people point to age or not having met “the right person” as the only reason for not wanting kids. It makes me stabby. As if nobody is capable of the introspection needed to understand that yes, kids can be a wonderful decision for some, but maybe not for yourself.

    • Sutemi

      I assumed I would have kids eventually but they were never concrete, always something at least 5 years off. After a while we started talking about not having kids. Eventually in our mid-30s our lives had an opportunity come by that would be quite difficult to sieze with kids so we made the decision to stay childfree.
      Neither of us like small children particularly well though both like teens and neither of us were willing to take on the main child-rearing responsibilities. I think if my life had taken a different path I might be happy with a house full of kids but I really like the life that I have now.

    • saacnmama

      An elementary school teacher I know tells me she does not want kids because she enjoys the kids at school so much. She thinks that teachers with kids wind up having too much kid time and enjoying their work less. I doubt you’re a teacher, but thought the idea of “how much kid” might be interesting. I’m a mom and will absolutely say that having your own kid is different from being with kids you can give back, but apparently some people can satisfy those bio-clock tickings by working (or volunteering).

  3. Anon

    My coworker had a miscarriage. What is the appropriate response (written note? Say something? Say nothing?) She was pretty far along and it seems wrong to not acknowledge. I’m the youngest in my office and have no kids, so I don’t have any experience with this. Thanks everyone.

    • Brahbrah

      No kids myself, but I think you should do whatever you would have done if they lost a born child. I think it would be appropriate to send a card that expresses your condolences for her loss. If you’re close, you could do more, but I think a card would be appreciated. Never had a miscarriage, but I think that women who have often feel like their loss isn’t recognized, so it’s better to do something than nothing, I think.

      • Susie

        If she was far enough along where she announced it at work, I agree I would send a condolence card. A tasteful condolence bouquet if you were closer to her.

      • Meg Murry

        I agree with this. Also, do you have a standard practice for when a coworker experiences a death in the family such as an admin organizing flowers and a card? If so, follow the same procedure. If not, send a “thinking of you” or “sorry for your loss” card – but watch out that you can find one without religious overtones – when I had a death in the family cards that referenced heaven or “a better place” or even prayer frustrated me, as I am not especially religious and such cards made me feel mad/abandoned by god, not comforted. I think the best thing you can say is simply “I’m sorry” . Address any cards to her and her husband, or her “and family” if appropriate- it’s a collective loss, not just hers.

        This list of “what not to say” is pretty accurate, according to my friends who have experienced miscarriages: http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/10-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-miscarriage-survivor/

    • Anon for this

      From my experience, I had a coworker (we were friendly and would discuss our spouses, life, music, etc while we worked) write me a note about it that simply said he was sorry for my loss, he and his wife would keep our family in his prayers, and that if I ever needed to talk to feel free to do it with him. That note actually helped.

      I know it’s human nature to not want to engage in such an awkward conversation, but the worst thing that happened to me was people *not* acknowledging the loss. Because then I felt like I should be “over it,” even if that wasn’t a rational feeling at that point. Even if you just say “I’m so sorry for your loss, if you ever need anything or to talk, let me know,” that helps.

      • Anon in NYC

        Fortunately no personal experience with this, but I agree with this. Acknowledge the loss in a card, and also remember that your coworker likely won’t bounce back right away, so follow her cues in terms of interactions.

    • DAR

      A card would be minimum, agree that a bouquet would be nice if you work closely together.

    • saacnmama

      Sympathy card and follow Meg Murray’s advice. If you feel comfortable with her, you could invite her to get a glass of wine or a coffee, but make it an open-ended invite so she doesn’t feel pressured.

  4. Kelsey

    Are we officially calling everything with a heel height of less than 3 inches a “kitten heel”? Because it used to mean something different…

    • Mpls

      I’m with you – I thought kitten heel was less than an inch. Stupid stubby heel that is harder to walk in than 3 inch heels.

    • Susie

      Yeah I wouldn’t really consider these kitten heels, so I looked it up to see if my understanding was incorrect, I agree with the curve but actually thought they were generally very short, 0.5-1″. According to wikipedia, “A kitten heel is a short, slender heel, usually from 3.5 centimeters (1.5 inches) to 4.75 centimeters (1.75 inches) high with a slight curve setting the heel in from the edge of the shoe. The style was popularized by Audrey Hepburn.”

      • Kelsey

        Yes! The curve inward was a defining feature— not just height. A low heel is just a low heel. Marketers must think we’ll find “kitten” more enticing that “low”… while changing the meaning in the process.

    • talent scout

      My thoughts exactly. In my mind, kitten is 1 1/2 ” mid heel is until 2 1/2″ and high is everything over.

    • TBK

      Well, that was back when anything over 3″ was inappropriate for the office, which clearly (and sadly for my poor feet) is no longer the case.

    • Ellen

      We MUST follow KAT’s lead on this b/c she is the expert on good styleing and shoe’s. I LOVE the biscotti color and the shorter heels make them useable at work and in court, tho the manageing partner was NOT thrilled when I showed him these b/c he thought the color was to light for court. I told him I am NOT in court every day, and that I MUST be styleish, especialy if I am takeing depo’s here in the office. He said OK, so I can get these! YAY!!!! And I LOVE Ann Taylor, so it will go well with my other Ann Taylor’s! Doubel Yay!!!

      Dad is goeing to make a withdrawl for my partnership advance this month from his investement account. He said it is time to take profit’s from Boieng b/c the 787 is now back on track and the price is right. He said he bought at 45 and it is now nearley 100 so he is makeing alot of money on that, tho he said he DOES have to pay capeiteal gain’s. FOOEY he says. He said something about O’bama’s taxes are hurteing the take home amount on this for me. FOOEY on that! FOOEY! b/c he has to sell more share’s then he would have last year. But I said NOT to worry b/c I was NOT to be a partner last year, but I am this year. He agreed and huffed off, but happy that I am goieng to be a partner and abel to influence the direction of the firm! YAY!!!!

      Myrna is appalled that Philip is not calling yet, and I refuse to chase him, even tho I am workeing on the chicken dish. I am to go to Mom’s for the holiday weekend and try it with her and dad. I do NOT have any date’s planned for this weekend, and Myrna said she could spend Saturday with me on LI, so she will be there to test the food to! YAY!!!! Robert texted about going fishing, but I cannot with a straght face think of him and fishing, b/c he had fish in his teeth at the Seder, and he smell’s alot like old fish. FOOEY! I told him NOT to make plans yet, b/c I have to keep my option’s OPEN! YAY!

    • Eleanor

      Yeah, I always thought a kitten heel was a very tiny heel placed under the middle of the wearer’s actual heel, rather than at the back of the heel like normal heeled shoes. So the shoe looked mostly like a flat, but the heel was elevataed a bit, if this makes sense. I have never heard of a 2 inch regular heel referred to as a kitten heel anywhere but here.

      • Meg Murry

        I agree, I also think this isn’t really a kitten heel, IMO. But it’s not Kat’s description, that’s what it’s called on the Ann Taylor site.

        Although I will admit that I thought Rian D’Orsay was a designer name, and was suprised when I googled to learn d’orsay pump was the style of shoe where the side is cutout to show the arch of the foot. You learn something new every day …

    • AIMS

      This is not a kitten heel. Like p*rnography and obscenity, you know when you see it.

  5. anonlawyer

    My husband and I — both lawyers in DC — are considering getting a dog, both because we want one and because we think a guard dog is a good idea.

    I’m curious about cost. We both work a lot, and would need to pay someone to come at least once a day. What’s the going rate for regular dogwalking in DC?

    Also, one of our big hesitations in getting a dog is that we work a lot. Is the solution to get two dogs to keep one another company, or get no dog? If we got two dogs, could we get a big one (German Shepherd) and a little one (Corgi)? It seems like dogs are pretty nondiscriminatory in their friend-dogs, but I’m assuming that’s not always true.

    Sorry for the amateur questions!

    • cc

      A guard dog is very different than a pet dog. You can’t just get a “tough breed” like a german shepard and expect them to be a guard dog. Most untrained german shepard will be an intruders best friend if he brings a treat. Whether the dogs are friends are going to depend completely on the personalities of the dogs. If you got them both as puppies there is a good chance they will be friends. if you are talking about grown dogs, your assumption that dogs just get along is very wrong- it has less to do with breed though and much more to do with personality/dominance. I’ve had one dog that loved other dogs, and at a different time a dog that got along with very few dogs, and had his share of “puppy time outs” at day care. Its going to be hard for two people who work long hours to deal with two puppies though. I think you should probably rethink this for a bit, and maybe invest in an alarm system before the guard dog route.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I’m not sure if a “guard dog” in general is a great idea. I think it can work, in general, with some dogs – but I also am leery of the idea of training a dog to protect you from other people (and therefore, to be human-aggressive). Especially for a first dog.

      There are plenty of breeds that are great at being “alert” dogs though – ie the kind of dog that barks when someone comes to the door, but won’t bite. One option is to look at local rescue groups for an adult dog – a puppy is not going to be a good guard dog, and besides, if you don’t have much time, you definitely don’t want a puppy.

      The time thing is a big issue – dogs are social animals. Many dogs will become destructive if not given enough stimulation and socialization. Not having a lot of time can be overcome if you also have money – things like doggy daycare, a long walk midday, etc, help a lot. Plenty of dogs are indiscriminate in the other dogs they befriend – others are more picky (mine, for example, straight up *hates* large black dogs – who knows why?). I wouldn’t start with two dogs though – you don’t want your dogs to be training/socializing each other, you want to do that for your dogs.

      • anonlawyer

        Very helpful, thanks. And yeah, by “guard” dog I think I meant what you define as “alert” dog. I just want a dog who will bark if someone tries to enter the house while we’re gone, which I think is enough to scare an intruder away. I’ve read that not all dogs do this, however — it takes training and even then, some dogs will stop barking if the intruder has food or seems nice. Hence, the “guard” dog.

        • Anne Shirley

          Most dogs will stop barking at an intruder when they get shot to shut them up. If this is your reason for a dog, I’d invest in an alarm system instead.

          • Anonymous

            Yes, please dear god do not get a dog. Your stated ideas for getting one are dangerously ignorant at worst, quaintly retro at best.

          • TBK

            Yes, yes, yes! Why would you want to put your dog in harm’s way like that? So what if someone breaks in and steals your stuff? It’s just stuff. My dog barks his head off when anyone comes to the door but I would so much rather he be out if an intruder came in. I mean, my husband could hit the guy in the head or shoot him with a gun, but I’d still rather he not be home if an intruder came in because I’d never want him in danger like that. Same goes for my dog. Take the laptops and jewelry and sell them for drug money, just leave my husband and dog alone! As for the dog stopping if the intruder has food, what would you prefer? A dog who’s willing to attack a human? Not me! I’m not a cop or military K-9 handler. I don’t trust my training abilities to teach a dog to attack a “bad” guy but to play nicely with everyone else.

          • Anon

            Agree with everything TBK said. If you have a deadly weapon in your home (be it a firearm, a trained attack dog, etc.) then you need to know exactly how it “operates”, or you’re endangering everyone who enters your home.

          • anonlawyer

            I’m surprised by some of the sarcasm and negativity here. I said we’re thinking about getting a dog because a) we want one and b) we would feel safer with one. Getting a dog in part for safety reasons is not a new or crazy concept. It does not mean that you expect that your dog is going to get shot. I also don’t consider having a dog in my house, where I live, to be putting him in harm’s way. But, on the off chance a would-be intruder comes near, it would be nice to have an alert dog that barks.

          • Green

            Some of these responses are way out of line, especially Anne Shirley’s. Seriously ladies, you can disagree but there is no need to insinuate that the OP wants to get a dog to put him in harm’s way or have him shot.

          • ATC

            anonlawyer – your reasons make total sense to me; a quick Google search also affirms that your reasons for getting a dog are completely normal and mainstream. Anne Shirley and Anonymous’ comments are pretty out there.

          • Maribel

            Anonlawyer: no worries. You are fine and people are getting all internet judgey and crazy. I had a dog who I did not consider a guard dog but I felt so much better with her on my floor in my bedroom when my husband was away.

    • Anon

      I pay $16 a day for dog-walking in DC.

      Honestly, even if you get two dogs or a low-energy dog, if you think you are going to need evening/weekend walks from a dog-walker a lot of the time, then I wouldn’t get one. Dog need to have social time with their humans, the more the better.

      Also, a trained guard dog is a big, time-intensive under-taking. Get an alarm system instead.

      • A Nonny Moose

        +1. I tried and failed miserably. $16 a walk, more for 2 dog household. And dogs, even low energy breeds, won’t be happy with 2 15 minute walks a day if you don’t spend lots of other time with them.Also, almost all rescues will NOT adopt to someone who wants a guard dog.

    • Famouscait

      Do some research on what you think you want in terms of a “guard dog.” Do you mean a dog that has been specifically trained to provide security and protection? Or just a dog that can appear threatening? I have a 100 lb. golden retriever who would be happy to kill you with smooches (after you’ve rubbed his tummy, of course), but when he’s barking at the doorbell, he seems pretty intimidating and guard-dog-esque.

      For dogs to be home alone for most of the day, you’ll likely want an older or more chill, low-energy dog who can tolerate that amount of time alone. A mid-day potty break is only that – a time to use the bathroom. For a young dog it won’t be enough to release all his energy. I’d also suggest you look into doggy daycare options. I had a service in Boston that would pick-up our Golden and take him to play with other dogs for 4+ hours, or for hikes in the woods. However, keep in mind that if your dog is away from the house, he can’t be providing any type of security during that time.

      • Anon

        I also have a big lovable Golden Retriever who barks his face off when someone (other than a resident of our home) comes to the door.

        However, I will also tell you that when someone tried to break in at 4am one night, and said Golden Retriever was snarling and barking his face off as the intruder was attempting to jimmy the door open, you know what the intruder did? He didn’t stop, he didn’t leave, he was not dissuaded. He continued to try and open the door and BARKED BACK AT THE DOG. Because he was out of his fr**king mind.

        • TBK

          Oh, that scares me. Our dog sleeps downstairs in the kitchen and we both worry that if anyone tried to break in, they might kill the dog thinking he’s a threat.

          • Anon

            I have a similar worry – I don’t worry about this when we are home because the dog roams freely and his barking wakes us up immediately (and then dog gets locked in a bathroom while we investigate/respond to threat) but I worry about this for when we aren’t home.

        • saacnmama

          So then what happened? Did the guy get in? Did the cops respond to your call so fast they got him before he got in? Did he give up and go away? Get in and tie you up and steal your diamonds? You can’t leave us hanging like this! ;)

    • TBK

      We spend a LOT of money on our dog and we have very sane hours (one of us is typically home by 6:00pm). He goes to doggy daycare three times a week and then has a midday dogwalker the other two days. We often take him out for a longish (3mi or so) walk/run on the two days he has a dogwalker and usually go for a 3-5 mi hike with him on the weekend. This is all just to take the edge off his energy so he’s calm at home and not getting into everything all the time. (A German shepherd would certainly need that level of stimulation.) I think we pay about $27/day for daycare and $17/day for dog walker. If we happen to both have an evening event, we have to pay for a second walk around 6:00pm. Then if we go out of town, it’s $50/night for boarding. (If I’d fully understood how expensive he’d be, I might have reconsidered. I adore this dog and I could never imagine not having him, but I’m continually shocked at the expense.)

    • Anonymous

      Live in DC, dog walking is typically $15-20/day, you can get packages though. If you are going to be home late (like past 7 or 8) you may even want 2 walks a day. I have a mini-dachshund and she goes on pee-pads and is happy with her walk/playing at night (I work pretty regular 8:30-5:30 job). If you just like dogs and really can’t commit to the time it takes to be with them, train them, etc…I would volunteer at a shelter or rescue organization (Lucky Dog is a good one). If you want a true “guard dog” you need to invest a lot of time/money into training. But most people don’t need a guard dog. My 9lb dog is very good at alerting to noises so I would wake up/be aware of any intruders within 3 seconds (which would give me enough time to get my wits about me).

      Dogs are NOT just indiscriminate about their playmates. It’s like people. Imagine if you were stuck living with someone who really got on your nerves. For forever. Your first dog will need to be very well socialized and friendly towards other dogs in general. I would get the second dog a year after the first one so you’ve had time to train and spot any behavioral issues. I guess the only other option is to adopt a pair from a rescue (but sometimes they will be more bonded to each other than you).

      And if you’ve never had a dog before…they can be like toddlers who never grow up. Ever. So taking on two at one time would be a huge undertaking that it seems like you don’t have the time for.

      • anonlawyer

        Thanks Anonymous — and others — for all the responses. It sounds like we aren’t ready for dogs given our schedules. I did have a dog growing up, and he was the sweetest, gentlest, most well-behaved dog in the world. I loved him!

    • mascot

      Get two dogs because you want the love, fur, expense, neediness, and noise that comes with owning two dogs. Because while they may play with one another at times, they both will want attention from their people above each other. Our dogs sleep while we are gone and then are pretty much all over us (not each other) when we are home. Unless you are dog savvy, I would caution against guard dogs or even dogs with strong herding or prey tendencies. This dog will be around for 10-15 years and may not be a great choice when you add children or other pets to your household.

    • TCFKAG

      So – my husband and I both work full-time jobs and we have dogs (two now, used to be one) – we make it work by sending them to a play group during the day that picks them up about mid-morning, takes them to a house where they can play in the backyard with lots of other dogs for four hours, and then drops them back at our house. We also walk them mornings and nights usually. If you can’t get that level of exercise for a dog (especially a big dog) in a city, you may be asking for trouble, because city dogs experience a lot of stimuli all day – people, other dogs, noises, smells, etc. A hyper, large, city dog can be a menace.

      As for the “alert” dog – almost any dog under the sun is going to bark at people coming to the door – I know my lab does and my beagle is the loudest of the bunch. Would that be enough to deter a B&E? Who knows – depends why the person is doing it and how motivated they are. But I would *not* rely on a dog as a first line security system of any kind – because hopefully your dog will be generally good tempered so once the breaker and enterer is in the house, they may be easily won over. (And frankly, you probably WANT your dog to be good tempered more than you want a security dog – look at it this way – your dog is FAR more likely to come into contact with other people and kids and dogs every day that you want it to get along with and be nice to versus the relatively slim chance, even in DC, of a robber, so overall you benefit more from a sweet dog who doesn’t cause you a great deal of liability and stress from dog fights or bits or just mean doggies in general).

      One last thing – for the readers on here worried about the dogs getting shot. Yes, I’m sure that happens occasionally, but my house as a kid got broken into several times and our dog always just got closed up in a bedroom or the basement. And the same happened to a friend’s dog when their house got broken into. I don’t think burglars are all that keen on shooting dogs (most burglars not really wanting to commit violent crime…plus the noise from the gun being something of a problem.)

      Anyway – where was I going with this. Right. You should get a dog, or two, if you are prepared to walk them, make sure they get exercise during the day, and train them to behave well in the city – especially when they encounter other people and dogs. If your primary motivation is security, I’m not sure a dog is the right choice. But if you want a doggy because they’re fun and you can give a loving home to a four-legged friend, well, then yay doggies!

    • Anonymous

      In addition to what others have said, a dog that will alert you to possible intruders may also alert you to various other things it thinks you may need to be aware of, including, but not limited to squirrels, birds, deer, other wildlife, neighbors doing yardwork, neighbors walking past your house, the dogs who live across the street, moths that found their way into the house and are now causing a unfamiliar sound, etc. At this point, we have so many “false” alarms at our house that I hardly ever even look outside unless our dog is being really, really insistent about barking at something. Also, the one time he thought that someone actually might be breaking into our house, he hid under a chair. And if someone did succeed in getting in, he would probably try to befriend them.

      I love my dog to pieces, and do feel somewhat safer with him around because his bark has at least a chance of scaring someone off, but I certainly wouldn’t count on him as a security system.

      • Scully

        I lol’d at “may also alert you to various other things it thinks you may need to be aware of, including, but not limited to.” This is so very, very true. “SQUIRREL!”

        • TCFKAG

          I’m not convinced my dogs would be much of an alert against B&Eers because they have totally desensitized us – their hatred of children on bicycles, babies in strollers, all other dogs, big trucks, the post man (and all delivery man), and of course cats. Basically almost everything means that the more likely sign that would alert me to someone breaking into my house would be glass breaking or the door opening. This is not a great sign, but totally true.

          (Oh – and if you live in a condo in DC – think long and hard about whether you want a dog that barks a lot. Your neighbors may NOT be amused.)

          • Meg Murry

            Yup, this. Our dog barked like crazy at everyone and everything that drove or walked past our house during the day so we learned to ignore her, and then at night she was dead to the world when asleep and didn’t even wake up when we came in late. Also, the only time we were ever robbed was when we went out of town (before we had her), and although we claimed part of our reasoning for getting her was to avoid another robbery, every time we went out of town we either took her with us or boarded her, completely negating the idea of her guarding the house while we weren’t there.

    • Stephanie

      We have a dog and usually pull 10-12 hour days. We have him enrolled in doggie daycare which we love. It’s on the pricey side though…$350 a month for 5 days a week. I’m sure it will be much more since you live in DC.

      On the weekends we take him to the dog park or on long walks. You can work long hours and still provide a good home for a dog. I would also recommend getting an adult dog. Training a puppy is really difficult if you have an intense work schedule.

      I will also politely encourage you to adopt your dog rather than buying from a breeder. There are plenty of German Shepard and Corgi Rescues in the VA/MD area.

  7. Blonde Lawyer

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr. Having the most frustrating experiences with a mortgage refinance. Bait and switch kings. It is quite clear they are not used to people reading the fine print and questioning things. I keep catching them in their tactics so they “fix it” but just tack on the extra money some where else and then we go around again. Going to another lender really isn’t an option right now since we are dealing with a very specific situation where we are getting a very good deal, even with the bait and switch. But, as a person of principal, I just can’t let them get away with it so I have wasted in total probably 3 full billable days trying to get this worked out. Totally not worth it since the money I’m “saving” by forcing them to keep fixing their errors is at most $1300. But I can’t just let it go. Instead of getting professionally mad, their infuriating correspondence has me near tears.

    I honestly had a hard time sympathizing with people in some of the foreclosure crisis cases but now that I have seen the lies and manipulations they have pulled with my not in-default just trying to get a lower interest rate refinance I can believe some of the things they say they were told. This is just insane. Grrrrrrrrrr. Thanks for letting me rant.

    • TBK

      Sorry to jump on your thread, but I just read over some of the comments from last week and wanted to say that I thought your husband’s dinner instructions were ADORABLE. I especially loved the part about using oven mitts and not touching the hot dish. While I’m pretty good in the kitchen, these are exactly the kinds of instructions my husband would give me for anything else because I’m a complete klutz who is amazing at hurting myself in completely improbable ways. Your husband sounds like a great guy.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Thanks, TBK! I’m glad you jumped on my thread. It took away my rage face.

        I am similarly klutz oriented (and blonde) hence the style of instruction he gives me. I once used the wood stove while he was away and put the plastic butane lighter back on top of the woodstove where I found it. I didn’t realize until I smelled plastic burning why that was such a crazy thing to do. Luckily I was able to scrape it off with a metal spatula before the thing exploded. Since that “incident” instructions became more detailed!

    • Frugal doc..

      I hear you and totally sympathize. These things can make me crazy too, and I HATE being taken advantage of. Just my negotiating with AT&T this week to move my internet service to my new apartment involved enough half-truths, withdrawn offers and “mistakes” to make your head spin. I did just hang up on them once I was so irritated.

      In the end… it’s not worth it. Let it go. But always complain, always ask for a supervisor/someone higher up with each error when possible.

      I also need to work on not getting so emotional… I like your phrase “professionally mad”. I gotta work on that.

      • Ruby

        has happened EVERY TIME I’ve bought or refinanced. Like you, can’t help but reading it and making them correct it. They are the absolute worst. Remember- it’ll be over soon. But keep at it- they don’t deserve the money they are trying to steal from you.

  8. drone

    Any ladies out there who changed careers/industry in their prime( whatever that is today)? I am looking to follow my passion and have been scared to make the jump. Currently have a successful career and good life but feel work feels eaningless. Would love to hear some inspiring stories!

  9. Miss Behaved

    Yay! I had a fabulous review today. It’s so good I’m going to refer to it when I’m feeling depressed. I love academia and higher ed.

    • NOLA

      One of my friends (also in higher ed) says she keeps a file of thank you letters and email for that very reason. We all need that!

      • Jenna Rink

        I totally do that – I have an email of thank you notes from students that I read when I’m discouraged. I had a student tell me today that she chose my school because of how helpful I was – it totally made up for an otherwise unimpressive afternoon!

      • saacnmama

        AKA promotions & tenure file, if there’s any seriousness about teaching at your school

  11. Anonymous

    I’m an Okie currently out of state and just wanted to say our thoughts are with any of y’all in Moore today.

  12. For Kat

    Hi Kat,
    Just a note to say the website keeps giving me notices from CloudFare that its down whenever I try to access comments. I’ve been getting them at least for the past 2 weeks, FYI. Thanks!

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