ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Translucent Huggie Earrings

woman wears pink translucent huggie earrings

We all know I love a good huggie earring — AND I love an unexpectedly bright pop of color. So of course, I love these translucent huggie earrings from Anthropologie.

We've pictured them in pink, but they're also available in (the much more muted) mink and pale pink, as well as a dark turquoise. They're made from gold-plated brass and resin, with a titanium post. They're $32.

(Prefer something smaller, cheaper, and in a lot more colors? These earrings at Amazon are under $20.)

Sales of note for 12.5

87 Comments

  1. Two shopping help requests if anyone is interested:
    1 – I’m looking for a summer dress to wear to a casual NYC engagement party next month and appreciate any advice on specific dresses or just stores to check out (online or in NYC) since my shopping skills have been rusty for the last several years. The couple is in their late 30s and the crowd will be in their mid-30s to mid-40s, mostly lawyers, finance and advertising with some creative people. The party is on the roof of their building in the evening, so it will likely be warm and the vibe is casual. I’m close to 40, short, wear a size 10/12 and carry my weight in my stomach, with broad shoulders and DD chest. I’d like something knee length or shorter and I’d like to avoid a strapless bra if possible, so short sleeves or thick straps for sleeveless. I’m fine with some cleavage though I’m not looking for anything too young or clubby. I look better in saturated colors like red, blue, purple, or navy/black than in neutrals. Price is flexible, though ideally below $200 for the dress.
    2 – I’m also looking for suggestions for any one-piece swimsuits that have held up to going into the ocean regularly, provide some chest support, are not halter tops (hurts my neck!) and are cut mid or low in the back. I’m not thrilled with anything I own/have worn recently. Lands End one pieces are supportive, but the back is so high as to seem frumpy and uncomfortable for me, and I find the elastic on the butt stretches out while the rest of the suit is fine. On the other hand, I’ve gotten some cuter and cheaper swimsuits from various Amazon sellers, but these either don’t have chest support for actually going in the water or get stretched out after just a few wears. Looking for a happy medium and collecting links both for this summer and the future.

    Thanks!

    1. Hill House has a ton of cute dresses that are beyond the original flouncy Nap Dress and many of them are simpler in design. The Charlie and Artemis styles are cute shifts that are bra-friendly and stomach-friendly thanks to the a-line shape IMHO.

      Swim- how do you feel about one-shoulder? JCrew’s are great and flattering. They have plain versions and one with a bow on the shoulder that looks like a real top if you wear a skirt with it.

    2. What’s your bra size? If you are D+ cup there are som great options from Freya and Bravissimo.

    3. I have a Summersalt one piece that has held up quite well. They have lots of one-piece options and most are on sale right now.

      1. I have friends who swear by these, especially the one-strapped style. I also would add that I’ve had good luck with Boden suits.

    4. For swim suits, try bra sized swimwear from panache, freya, fantasie. When I switched to swimsuits with built in bras, that’s when I realized that it wasn’t the halter top that was the problem but the lack of real support such that the weight of my DD’s was all on my neck!

      1. +1 – although I think it is hard to find a low-back swimsuit that is supportive because support in a bra comes from the band, which is usually mid-back. Low back means no band.

    5. I’d look at Swim Outlet under the “Fashion & Active” section for swimsuits. I think a swimsuit made by a brand that does competitive swimwear would probably be better for actual swimming. Like Speedo, TYR, Nike, Dolfin, Jolyn, etc.

    6. This was the first item that came up when I searched Nordstrom: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/catalina-fit-flare-cocktail-dress/4937787?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&color=810
      This one might be too formal, but I love the peac0ck color: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-elle-sheath/5532926?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&color=302
      Stretch jersey: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/lauren-ralph-lauren-womens-twist-front-stretch-jersey-dress?ID=15984201&CategoryID=5449&isDlp=true&isDlp=true

    7. Check out Title Nine for supportive swimsuits. They make and test their stuff with surfers and athletes, so they’re supportive and stay put. Also good for a range of cup sizes.

    8. I can’t do one piece swimsuits (I’m 6′ tall) but a lot of my friends swear by Summersalt.

    9. Lots of 40 year old moms I know love Aerie’s wrap swimsuits.maybe an unexpected place to shop and apparently they’re not just for the youths.

      1. Really? I stopped in an Aerie store recently, for the first time in at least a decade, and it most definitely looked like it was For the Youth. Maybe there are more options for the 40-somethings online, but the store was not promising!

        1. Online is amazing! Mid-40s here and my teen daughter and I both find things we love at Aerie.

  2. Does anyone know of a tree planting charity that is legit? I’m wanting to plant trees but not having a house with a yard and also living in a metro area, I can’t exactly plant them on my own property or get permission from some local small town park.

    I have seen One Tree Planted and was wondering if anyone knows of their work. There is another one called Veritree but that appears to only work with corporations who probably donate tens of thousands. And then the rest all seem to be UK based – like they plant olive trees in the Mediterranean areas so that’s helpful to people who can sell them for income. Any of these is fine but I always find it hard to know whether I’ll just be donating to a charity CEO’s salary or whether they’ll actually do the thing they say – and IDK how to read those charity navigator reports, they seem to say every charity is excellent.

    2. I feel like I’ve seen A Living Tribute links on various obits I’ve read…
      you might also want to look at local conservatories or like water/soil government departments to see if there are other ways you can help/donate — other projects help the environment too like rain gardens, replacing lawn grass with prairie grasses that have much deeper roots, etc.

    3. Does your city accept tree donations? Mine will plant a tree if I pay 50% of the costs, and they mailed me a thank you note with the exact location, so I have seen the one tree I had planted this way.

  3. Any recommendations on an easy – say about 10 min a day – program of stretching that I could start? Just discovered this weekend that I’m one of those 40 somethings who can’t touch my toes. I can get down to my shins. As I was going to sleep last night my legs felt super tight – quads and hamstrings. I work out but it’s repetitive – walking and jogging. So it’s only cardio. Yet when I google IDK what the difference is between yoga and pilates and it all seems so complicated. The more complicated I make things, the more I don’t do them. I’d love to just have 5 or 10 stretches that I could just do mindlessly which keeps me strong and flexible as the years go by.

    1. I always love the restorative yoga track in the app formerly known as DownDog. (It still comes up if you search for it, it’s now called something unsearchable like Yoga.) Sessions start at 7 minutes.

      I also took one a few years ago from DailyOm I think… have to find the link.

    3. DocJenFit on instagram is a PT who has a mobility program. It’s not free, but she is FANTASTIC. Recommend.

      You may also want to try Yoga by Adrienne which is free on YouTube.

    5. The most consistent stretching I’ve been able to adopt is to stretch the back of my legs while brushing my teeth. Start brushing, left leg up, toothbrush buzzes halftime, switch legs. Just stand and stretch them, maybe lean a bit into the stretch if you feel like it. 2 minutes, done. Short but twice a day, makes all the difference.
      At the beginning I just plopped them up on the edge of the tub, and eventually progressed to vanity counter height.

  4. Looking to do a staycation in nyc for 1-2 nights. I used to in Manhattan pre kids but don’t know what hotels are good to stay at for this kind of thing. I don’t have an unlimited budget but curious to see what suggestions there are.

    1. Mandarin Oriental. We did a staycation there for our anniversary from Brooklyn and it’s great – easy proximity to the UWS, Central Park, and Hells Kitchen, and good sized rooms. Also lots of food options very close by and a great spa.

      Aman is also supposed to be great but $$$ and I would rather spend Aman type money at a better destination.

    2. The Greenwich Hotel is good for this, but it is probably in the $800+ per night range. The Mandarin Oriental that a previous poster recommended is also nice if you prefer a more central (non-downtown) location.

    4. I love the Library Hotel but I am a reader. It has small rooms but so many books!

    5. My favorite for a kid-free staycation is The Ludlow. Fun neighborhood, nice bar downstairs.

    6. The Michelangelo has big rooms and reasonable prices. My in laws love it and stay there about 5-6 times a year when they go to the theater or opera.

  5. Has anyone gotten the new redesigned Honda Pilot? I currently have a Honda minivan, but need a bit more clearance and AWD due to western VA’s mountain roads (while still needing a big family hauler). I love the van, but Honda has no plans to even offer AWD. Will try out the Toyota Sienna (but heard a rant this weekend about someone who prefers their 2008 one to the new one and I passed on it gladly for the Honda in my prior go-round). Also looking at the Telluride. What else should I consider? The Jeep I wanted in my teens, although now as a 4-door? Try out medium size crew cab pickups b/c some of them still come in stick (which is just fun for me)?

    1. I think this is where test driving is your best bet. Having lived in the Shenandoah Valley, I would think that an SUV would beat a minivan, and I’m not really an SUV person.

    2. My 2006 Sienna was a lemon. My 2016 Odyssey is a workhorse despite having been in several accidents (not my fault). Everyone loves the Pilot – even with a redesign, I don’t think you can go wrong.

      1. What I’ve heard is that the Sienna is plush for the passenger but the Odyssey is built for the driver. It kills me that Honda refuses to go hybrid on this or get 4WD or AWD because it is such an awesome car. But really no cushy features on mine (it’s a teenager, so getting on in the years) — no memory seats, etc. But all of the seats come out, which you can’t say about the current Sienna and the Odyssey has a spare tire (a donut; but the Sienna has nothing).

        1. I love my Odyssey so much. We test drove the Sienna and as a driver, I did not like it. The steering felt weirdly loose and it was not an enjoyable driving experience. The Odyssey is the nicest car I’ve owned, in terms of features and comfort.

    3. My husband got a 2022 Pilot last fall. It’s the Trailsport edition, but I don’t recall exactly what that means feature-wise. We don’t have kids so I can’t speak to how it would work for that. The trunk space is nice and roomy and it drives very smoothly. His previous car was from 2007 so the touch screen, etc. are huge improvements. I haven’t driven it much, but my husband likes it. We’re in the midwest and it did well in the snow we got last December.

    4. My friend swears by the hybrid RAV4 for five adult-sized people and two dogs.

    5. Yes – we just got one. We ordered it in January and it took about 4 months to be built/delivered. We love it! It’s roomy and handles well. It drives a bit like a truck platform as opposed to car, slower acceleration/slower stopping. The features and tech are great though & the kids seem happy in the back. We were able to test drive – hopefully you’ll be able to find a dealership with one in stock to check out. No complaints though & I would recommend it.

    6. I know you asked about the new redesigned pilot but I have to make a pitch for the 2015 Honda Pilot. It has great clearance and is more spacious in the back than the newer ones that are curvier. We bought ours before moving across the country and fit tons of our stuff in the back. We love it so much and after riding in it, my sister bought it too (2015 HP) when she needed to upgrade from her Toyota Highlander (old model, pre-2 rows of seating in the back). She also loves it!

  6. Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses to my post in the morning thread. To those who showed me kindness, thank you – your words meant a lot to me. I realize how my post came across as being a judgmental snob and I think I badly phrased things and deserve the backlash fully. I actually really do respect the person he is today immensely but it was a superficial gut punch reaction to the news to say things how I did.

    My religion believes in forgiveness etc but unfortunately has led me to grow up to be more judgmental than I’d like. It’s something I’ve actively been working on and clearly have a lot to improve upon still. I phrased it incredibly badly when I said marrying “down” but sadly that’s the context my brain jumped to when thinking about what happened. It was really a big bombshell to me and I wasn’t in the best frame of mind this morning – I get in the non-religious world it’s normal, but for me it’s a line I personally would never have crossed and adding in the surprise element, led me to think/write here very unkind things that I don’t actually fully believe.

    He deserves someone who adores him and thinks the world of him. He is a great person and would be a wonderful person to try to emulate in many ways. That was the point I was reaching before hearing this (yes he likes me more but I like him a LOT). I agree that it would be unkind/unfair to continue with him if that’s how I continue to feel but after reading your comments, I realize that was just my superficial self reacting instead of giving this the time and thought it deserves. If I can move past being judgmental, I think there could be a future. But otherwise, I agree with your advice and will ask him to find someone for whom it wouldn’t matter.

    And FWIW, I never thought about how it could have been manipulative/coercive but you all are totally right and I wish I hadn’t been so quick to make assumptions/judge.

    1. I think you need to go to really deep therapy. Someone having a relationship 17 years ago with someone who was separated but not yet legally divorced shouldn’t even be a blip. If people are no longer together, it doesn’t matter if the paperwork has been finalized.

      I think you aren’t even aware of how deeply judgmental and rigid you are. It’s going to be really hard to have a happy relationship unless you work on identifying these problematic beliefs and working on them really intensely.

    2. I was one of the people who was hard on you and I really appreciate that you are taking the time to absorb the advice, as difficult as it must have been to read.

      I’m also of the mind that religion can be really toxic when it’s more about judging others than it is about being loving and kind and improving oneself.

      I agree with the suggestion of therapy, and if you continue with this man, accepting him for who he is. Genuine hugs to you.

      1. Absolutely. It’s mind-blowing that you could be judging someone for something they did 17 years ago under the guise of adhering to a religion that’s so much about unconditional love and forgiveness.

        Focus on being a good person, not arbitrarily judging actions from decades that didn’t harm anyone then or now.

        Also, if you want kids, focus on making that happen. Don’t let this religious upbringing rob you of the opportunity of finding meaningful connection since no one will ever meet your standards of perfection and purity.

        1. I wonder, too, if there is some grief in staying “perfect and pure,” when it’s clear that most potential partners did NOT hold themselves to that standard. And were never going to, honestly. Just saying, I sort of get that (and I was not nearly as entrenched in those beliefs, nor for as long, as the OP has been).

          1. This is a great point. It can be construed by the purity culture as “selling out” to marry someone with a sexual past, but forgiveness can and should extend to this, especially given the circumstances OP described.

          2. Waiting for marriage means that, unless you are from a very controlling religious community, you are almost guaranteed never to meet a potential partner who has done the same. It’s really a huge sacrifice and compromise for the person who has waited to accept a partner who has not waited, and I don’t think the non-waiting partner ever fully understands the depth of that sacrifice.

          3. Just a note that one of the most popular figures in purity culture – Josh Harris – married a woman with a sexual past. Of course, he has also since apologized for much of the garbage he preached.

          4. 4:38, a valid point about the sacrifice never being fully understood

            And didn’t Josh Harris and his wife divorce? He’s pretty much denounced everything in his book, but man, it did some DAMAGE to a generation of teens.

        2. to 3:59 and 4:21 – I completely missed out on this morning’s chat, but I gotta say, it blows my mind that some folks don’t think adultery is a major warning sign. I mean, it says a lot about how someone was brought up, you know? And in my experience, once a cheater, always a cheater.

          Back in the day, people used to look at teen/adult relationships in a whole different light. Growing up in the 90s, I had a bunch of friends who dated older dudes (like a 16-year-old with a 21-year-old or a 16-year-old with a 26-year-old). We kinda saw it as, “Well, they’re just more mature or finding someone on their level.” I’m not saying those relationships (or even this one) weren’t messed up, manipulative, or just plain wrong, but it was pretty common.

          1. The guy didn’t commit adultery! He was single and slept with a woman who was separated but not legally divorced. The woman was also “much older” and it sounds like it was maybe a predatory situation (with the guy being the victim).
            I agree cheating on a partner (especially a spouse) is a much bigger deal, although I do think most people grow up significantly between 18 and 35.

          2. You have the situation wrong. I would not call what he did adultery, and I have a pretty hard line for that sort of thing. He was single and the woman was separated and in the process of divorcing.

    3. This is to the OP and not to anyone else, because if you don’t speak the language you won’t understand what is being said.

      A suggestion: find a wise and thoughtful pastor/priest or a Christian couples counselor. You can have a very happy marriage, but what you described is a lot to put on a relationship.

      So much of the culture surrounding Christianity and sexuality is based around people meeting in their teens and getting married in their early 20s. That’s great when everyone is young and optimistic and comes with (usually) minimal baggage; it’s a train wreck for older, devout Christians. Even those who lived out their faith.

      There’s just so much that gets heaped on people’s heads, and so little way to process life experiences (like a coercive relationship with someone almost twice one’s age). Add on a lot of the garbage that sexist pastors spew, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

      You can firmly believe that you are required as a Christian to keep sex in marriage and simultaneously reject a lot of the toxicity surrounding sexuality. If this guy’s response to an exploitative and coercive relationship, plus a lot of general screwing around, was to evaluate his life, find Christ, and walk the straight and narrow, that’s an incredibly impressive thing. He’s not a less-sticky piece of tape or someone with “soul ties” or anything else like that.

      1. Did the OP say that she was Christian? I didn’t think she’d specified that.

        (I am, though, and your less-sticky piece of tape reference…let’s just say I sat through that delightful exercise at youth group too.)

    4. Hey, we all have past attitudes and judgments that we aren’t necessarily proud of. Good for you, for working on yours. However, I stand by my statement that you need be really, really careful with the “marrying down” thoughts. If that’s your gut-level reaction, do take some time to truly work through that. I literally gasped when I read that, as it is completely antithetical to a happy, healthy relationship, regardless of religion or lack thereof.

      I’m saying this as a religious person myself, but I think you’re going to be hard-pressed to find a partner that meets the standards you’ve set. Unless you’re marrying as a teenager, they just aren’t very realistic or contemporary. Having a s3xual past (even if under less than ideal circumstances) makes someone less moral or “good.” It’s a very toxic way of thinking, albeit one that is still common in some circles. I don’t know what your background is, but I have an entire family of cousins who has never found partners because no reasonable adult can meet their exacting standards for purity and having the moral high ground, religiously speaking. They’re now in their 40s and still unmarried, with no kids, to their great sadness. I’m not saying to lower the bar so low that you marry someone who is not a great person, but I hope you carefully consider where your red-flag reactions are coming from. How did you learn these beliefs? Have they helped you, or hurt you (and others)? Does your religion allow for forgiveness and redemption?

      1. Ugh, that should read “having a s3xual past does not make someone less moral or good.”

      2. Agree with this. The other thing I would be mindful of is that even if you’re able to get past this and move forward, I would be concerned about the potential for you to feel that you’re somehow the “better” or more moral one in the marriage because you did fully abstain, and that’s a really toxic dynamic to have, even if you end up deciding it’s not a deal breaker for you.

        Your comment aobut him liking you more also resonates the same way with me. I’ve been married over 10 years now and the whole idea of who likes who more is a really bizarre one to me and doesn’t stike me as entirely heathy.

        I agree with the push for therapy above.

        1. I am concerned about the potential for them to blame each other if sex is a struggle, as it can be for newlywed Christians. He may blame her for not knowing what she likes and she bay blame him for his past. He may feel guilty about it; she may be bitter and angry. She might be mad if it’s really good, because it would be apparent that he didn’t learn it within their marriage. She also may, like many devout Christians, have knowledge of the mechanics of intercourse but not of women’s pleasure.

        2. Right, I think there are some red flags there that have nothing to do with the religious aspect. “Marrying down” and talking about him like her more than she likes him are cause for concern in any relationship.

    5. Hey! don’t have a lot of time to thoroughly post a response. but I’m gonna chime in with a different perspective than what I’ve generally read in the comments. I’m Muslim and our religion and religious culture is overall more conservative and the conservatism in terms of behavior (s*x) is much more widely spread. It doesn’t come from an obsession with purity only but also the fact that people are across the board are more s*xually unliberal. My older sister was the first to have a non arranged marriage in our family. I’m not married, and guess what that means. I get that someone’s past is their past, and it’s best to approach every issue in life from a non judgemental perspective and from a perspective that is unshackled from religious weirdnesses (to the extent possible). If I were to date someone and I found red flags regarding their dating history I would investigate more. If there is such a large s*xual experience asymmetry or dating history asymmetry that puts the woman who is in the naive position in a weird place. You did what your culture pressured you into, and the guy didn’t, so I place the burden on him to at least provide some context regarding his past or at least be able to say i was young and naive or i was young and not aware of the predatory behavior .aaaggh. this is hard to convey. Also in arranged marriage culture or the culture of the first generation finding their spouse for themselves because people don’t date or date for long, marrying “appropriately” (e.g., not down) is a proxy for all things regarding compatibility. It gets twisted by our bad culture into status digging, but I think there is something to thinking that the relationship should be a balanced one between equal parties.

    6. I commented this morning on thinking about this through the lens of your own religious views on sin and forgiveness. One other thing I forgot to add: at some point in your life you are probably going to do something that is significantly wrong. It could be anything from cheating on your spouse to lying about something for personal or financial gain to treating someone who is vulnerable callously to acting selfishly in a way that harms someone. Very few of us get through life without doing at least one thing we view as truly wrong, and that we struggle with later. For your guy, this may be that thing he carries that he can’t forgive himself for even if he’s sought forgiveness via the means your religion makes available. Think about how you would want someone to react if you confessed to them a personal failing or sin you were struggling with – the compassion you would want, the comfort you would want to give them that God had forgiven their sins. Can you extend that to him?

    7. I think I spend more times in conservative religious circles than many of the posters, so I will add my two cents.

      Was your initial reaction charitable? No. But it is perfectly fine to think of engaging with a legally married but separated person as a crossing a line when the broader culture says it is no big deal. The issue for you to work on is that you and he have both crossed lines in the past and are both worthy of love. The second issue is where you draw the lines now – are you on the same page?

      I don’t think you should break up or anything drastic.

      I recommend the book “Marriage Be Hard.” It’s a marriage book written by a Christian couple that acknowledges the harms of purity culture without abandoning the underlying idea of physical intimacy for married couples only. The cultural background is the Black church, but I’m sure it will translate just fine.

  7. Inspired by this morning about working out in the morning — what is everyone’s workout these days? Doing new apps or in person classes?

    I’m doing strength training 4x a week via the app Sweat
    trying to get 5000 steps a day

    and I haven’t yet and won’t look into it until August but would love to add a Pilates reformer class on the weekend.

    1. Currently looking for new inspiration! For whatever reason, I have not been excited by my usual exercise of choice (running) for a couple of months. Right now I’m doing a lot of walking and yoga, but I would like to be doing something more intense.

    2. Walking 2-3 miles every weekday
      Playing pickleball with DH 1-2 times per week
      Doing something active with kids most nights (swimming, bike ride, pickleball, etc)

    3. I like Heather Robertson’s HIIT workouts on YouTube. They aren’t fancy and the music is generic, and there’s no Woo Hoo! You go girl! shouting (which is perfect for me). She has a lot of workouts of different lengths and intensities, including low impact and some yoga and Pilates ones.

      So, pretty basic, but I can always find something I feel like doing. She has a series of 10-minute workouts and sometimes I do one of those if I just need to move a little.

      1. Thanks for the recommendation! I can’t stand forced cheeriness OR overly tough boot camp sentiments. Just … be normal.

  9. does anyone take calcium supplements? i thought they could do more harm than help, but someone just said most women should be taking them… which ones do you like?

    (I took some fake chocolate ones in my 20s, which I thought was the prime time to take them – haven’t taken anything in years though (i’m almost 50 now). calcium levels all solidly mid-range. Eat lots of dairy daily.

    1. I get the berry flavored Costco version of Tums, but I am also a person who has a nostalgic love for Necco wafers, so I’m probably an outlier on preferred flavor/textures.

    2. Ask your doctor?

      In my teens I had to take calcium supplements due to a different prescription I was on that was known for depleting calcium. But it had to be the right form (don’t recall now which one) or I was told my body wouldn’t absorb it and would instead just pee it out. I also remember that it raised the risk of kidney stones, which thankfully was never an issue for me.

  10. I saw this same sentiment in some of the morning’s comments and it doesn’t sit well with me — OP will know if this applies to her situation, but you can have deal breakers for marriage that aren’t limited to “did God forgive it”, without violating (most) religious concepts of forgiveness.

    I’m also religious (Catholic, and believe what the church teaches about marriage), and for me, the specific situation OP describes would not be a problem for me at all, let alone a deal breaker, given how long ago it was — but there /are/ some situations that would be – even if a person sincerely repented & was forgiven by God for it. Actions have consequences – and some actions disqualify you from a position of trust, sometimes even for the rest of your life on earth. I’ve seen this idea of “forgiveness = completely fresh start in terms of worldly trust/power/prestige” weaponized far too often in support of powerful men

    tldr; “God forgave them” doesn’t mean “I have to pretend it didn’t happen”

    1. Of course. I don’t think anyone was disagreeing that certain past actions can be dealbreakers, e.g., no one was saying you should date a rapist, to use an extreme example. They were just saying that even if you do believe his actions were a “sin” you should think about how your religion frames forgiveness for sins. That doesn’t imply you need to ignore or be ok with all sins. Some are obviously much worse than others.

    2. I once attended a church where a CSC offender attendee was so determined to work with the kids again in spite of his release terms that he convinced the church leadership to sponsor him moving to a non-US country where they didn’t care about his past record. The church had this whole service where the pastor talked up his “redemption” story then prayed over him and praised him for his ongoing desire to “do the Lord’s work in foreign lands” because it was a holy sign of his forgiveness. It ended with this weird commissioning ceremony.

      I was so horrified and disgusted that I walked out. I tried expressing my concerns to the leadership that even if the guy really did change, his past actions should have consequences and fleeing the country to get around them seemed at the very least like a bad faith attempt to avoid taking responsibility. I was not willing to support a group that willingly sent a known, convicted offender into a situation where he had free access to an unsuspecting group of potential new victims and severed ties with that church when they told me I was being judgmental and at risk of suffering god’s wrath.

      I talked to a social worker friend and she said there was basically not much the system could do since he had already served his time and had been released.

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