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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 108 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Emily Pump

Coffee Break

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Anyi Lu Emily PumpOoh: I love this asymmetrical heel from Anyi Lu, available in navy tortoise, brown tortoise, as well as patent leather black and beige (some colors nearly sold out). Anyi Lu is known for comfort — love that rubber sole, and you can see the arch support from the picture — and in my mind, 2.75″ is a great heel height. It's $395 at Nordstrom. Anyi Lu Emily Pump (L-all)

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Comments

  1. Hips don't lie

    We have talked about clothing budget, but I’d love to start an open thread on how many items you have in you work wardrobe. Also include your position/industry. I’m a senior associate in BigLaw.

    I did an inventory last night of my work clothing and came up with this:

    Work dresses – 10
    Tops – 7
    Pants – 3
    Skirts – 6
    Sweaters/cardigans/turtlnecks – 13
    Blazers – 2
    Shoes – 6
    Bags – 2

    Did not include my suits because I rarely, if ever, wear them to work.

    To me, this seems like a decent amount of items (not too many). Curious to read what others have to say.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Though I recently did an inventory, I haven’t got the figures to hand, but I think it was something like 15 dresses, 25 tops, 15 skirts, 10 blazers and (I have not counted, so only a guess) 50 pairs of shoes.

      Yet I still never have anything to wear.

      I would also caveat this by saying that I get bored with clothes very easily so I tend to have a lot of cheaper items, rather than a few staples.

    • Another MZ Wallace Fan

      I keep a spreadsheet of my inventory. Mostly so that I don’t shop just to shop.

      My work clothes:

      12 dresses
      4 suits (have not bought a suit in 4 years though as I rarely wear them)
      3 pants (not part of the suits)
      3 blazers (not suit jackets)
      10 skirts
      5 blouses
      10 sweaters (those do double duty as they also get worn outside of work)
      10 shoes
      2 boots
      5 bags (I rarely switch out of the MZ Wallace Jane these days)

      Like Woods Comma Elle, I get bored with my clothes/shoes. I try to buy accessories like belts and necklaces to inject new life into older pieces.

    • Diana Barry

      I have a ton of stuff but haven’t counted lately. I have maybe 5-6 suits and wear those the most.

    • TO Lawyer

      I don’t know exact numbers but I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I have too many clothes… (and yet I can never find anything to wear…)

      • NOLA

        I only have my seasonal clothes in my closet right now and I weed as I switch seasons. Despite living in the south, sweaters and boots are my favorite things. I’d have to go home and count sweaters.

        I know I have 5 of the same pencil skirt (black, navy, charcoal, brown, red).
        About 70-80 pairs of shoes and boots – obviously not all work clothes.
        5 work dresses with sleeves
        2 pairs of jeans that really fit
        I don’t wear suits or blouses (can’t wear things that button)
        5 of the same tank top in different colors (garnet, purple, black, charcoal)

        • Baconpancakes

          Where do you put 70 pairs of shoes??? I am insanely jealous, and also a little boggled.

          • NOLA

            I have 3 bedrooms and I live alone. I use one bedroom as a guestroom and one bedroom as storage. I have shelving units in there where I store shoes and purses and a clothing rack for out of season clothing. I have some in my closet but they’re most in the 3rd bedroom.

        • anon-oh-no

          I’m with you on the shoes NOLA. I dont know how so many get through with so few shoes :) this is inspiring me to go home and count tonight

    • anon-oh-no

      i probably have all of this combined, but I’ve always had too much clothes . . . .

      I have started a system of trying to wear everything and get rid of stuff i dont wear. With the exception of slacks (which i think can be worn over and over again), wear something different each day of the month, and keep track of what i wore when. I’ve been doing it for about 4 months now and discovered there are certain dresses i wear every month. There are also a few suits that are my go to suits. With everything else, I’ve been trying to make new outfits I like and can easily bring back without thinking about it . . .

    • Meara

      I haven’t counted (and suspect I don’t want to!) but I have about 4 pairs of pants, a few tops (most of which I don’t wear often because I am bad at ironing–so I probably have about 10 but only wear 3 or 4?) three or four skirts (…this also is affected by how many fit me at the moment, I know I have several stashed away that don’t) and probably 25 dresses. Which is ridiculous. I don’t need that many, don’t wear several because of reasons (too fancy, not fancy enough, doesn’t have pockets, etc).

      Basically I own a LOT of clothes (I have a ton of casual clothes since I work from home a few days a week) but only end up wearing a small percentage.

    • clerk

      I’m a law clerk now, starting big law in the fall. I’m trying to start buying higher quality pieces that will last a while, but for now I have a lot of AT/BR/Loft stuff that doesn’t seem to excite me after a season. I plan on majorly culling my wardrobe before I start my new job. Off the top of my head here’s my tally:

      6-7 suits (2 of them are too big and need to be tailored; 2 of them I don’t really like and rarely wear)

      5 (non-coordinating) blazers

      8 dresses (2-3 of which I plan on retiring after I’m done clerking)

      3-4 skirts (not part of a suit)

      4-5 blouses

      2-3 sleeveless shells

      2 cardigans

      4 pairs of work heels (need to retire one soon and replace with everyday black pumps)

      3 bags (is my longchamp still appropriate for big law though? I love it so)

      Before I start my next “grown up” job I feel like I need a new pair of black pumps (I have my eye on a pair of Coach heels), a few more non-coordinating slacks, a few more long-sleeved silky blouses, and maybe a couple more blazers. I will probably also purchase one nice new suit before I start, maybe Reiss or Theory.

      • Another MZ Wallace Fan

        my longchamps le pliage tote lives in my office. i use it when i have too much to carry home. no one has ever looked at me like “eww what are you carrying” and i like it better than the random NPR canvas tote bag i’ve seen one male partner carrying his stuff in.

    • MK

      Wow, I am feeling really deficient all of a sudden–maybe it’s time to do some shopping! 6th year Biglaw.

      My work wardrobe:

      5 suits (don’t usually wear them except when going to court/interviews/meetings)
      3 dresses
      5 skirts
      2 pants
      5 cardigans
      4 button-up shirts
      2 other long-sleeve blouses
      8 short-sleeve blouses
      3 blazers (usually save these to dress up jeans on casual Fridays)
      2 shoes (both black, 1 pumps for court/interview/meetings, 1 flats for everyday)
      1 bag (leather)

    • RR

      Suits – 16 (yowzer)
      Blazers (not part of suit) – 7
      Pants (not part of suit) – 13
      Skirts (not part of suit) – 2
      Dresses – 2
      Blouses – 11
      Sleeveless shells – 15ish?
      Cardigans – 12
      Sweaters – 10ish
      Shoes – 25ish
      Bags – Too many, but 3-4 that I carry regularly

      I need to do further purging apparently (this is after a major clothing purge in the fall).

    • IT Chick in MN

      *sigh* I really need to do an inventory. And have a total laundry binge so I actually can WEAR what I have. Thank you for this kick in the pants!

    • Anon

      I have:
      2 suits
      4 pairs of pants, three of which are black and one of which is gray
      5-6 cardigans
      2 blazer
      8 (ish) work-appropriate tops
      1 pencil skirt
      Two pairs of flats
      One pair of heels
      1 work purse (fake leather from TJ Maxx; will be replaced if I get a new job)

      Yeah…I need some new clothes. I repeat outfits constantly. I aim for a minimalist look and hate shopping, though, so it’s a struggle for balance. I probably won’t buy much more than I have now, but I’d like to upgrade to higher-quality pieces and get a few more tops that aren’t solid colors.

        • Anonymous

          Why do you keep suggesting handles?

          I am anonymous, not to be snarky, but because I’ve seen too many people give away enough information about themselves under a regular handle that it would be very easy to figure out their identity IRL. I don’t want to blow my cover! :)

        • Wildkitten

          I’ve suggested 3 handles. You’ve posted… 60 times today?

          And – Thank you Parfait. I applaud you!

    • HSAL

      I have dozens of everything, and because my office isn’t terrible formal, most of my clothes do double duty. I started using Orangerie’s wardrobe spreadsheet last fall, and ended up modifying it to suit my uses a little better starting 2014. I usually only write down what I wear to work, so since January 2, I’ve worn:

      27 shirts
      14 cardigans or blazers
      12 pairs of pants
      3 dresses
      17 pairs of shoes

      These are all easily less than a quarter (in each segment) of my wardrobe. I know. I need to do some serious culling. I’ve started to read the Recovering Shopaholic blog and am committing to buying fewer items of clothing this year, and implementing a one in/one out rule.

    • Kontraktor

      LOL wow, I feel like Emelda Marcos… I can’t believe some people have so few things. Granted, I don’t really have a set of casual and a set of work clothes; I sort of buy everything to be worn for either (ie, tops get worn with jeans or silk shorts on weekends vs. with dress bottoms on weekdays). I also wonder how some of you deal with dry cleaning/washing/wear with fewer items. When I was in DC, I found I could rarely get more than one wear out of a blouse before having to dry clean or wash, and even with pants, in the winter I felt starved for options of clothing with only 3 pairs of pants to start out (nevermind them getting mucky in the weather). I sort of feel I need more just to keep things feeling fresh and not have to clean so much.

      I probably have:
      about 12-15 separates blazers (maybe 3 of which I could probably get rid of)
      5 full suits (which I don’t really wear as suits, some don’t fit, some I wear as separates so they get included in other tallies)
      10-12 wearable dresses, 5-8 don’t fit now dresses but will soon with exercise
      15 cardigans in various styles/colors (crew neck, v neck, drapey, etc.)
      20 skirts
      10 pants (of varying cuts and degrees of formality), a couple pairs of thick ponte leggings, 2 pairs of properly fitting jeans (3 pairs of ill fitting ones I’m keeping for if I gain back weight), 7 pairs of dressy shorts for summer
      50+ tops (most are blouses and have varying fabrics, prints, sleeve lengths, etc.)
      maybe 10 pairs of shoes I wear for work and 5-10 casual
      Probably about 7-10 bags I rotate between depending on travel/color needs

      I’ve collected over years, buying either everything on super sale or getting custom tailored overseas, and generally like most of what I have with the exception of onesie twosies here and there that I try to purge when able. OMG I still feel intense and weird though with all this stuff :-)

      • Kontraktor

        I also find it difficult to buy just one of X type of thing, due simply to the fact that I find not all cuts of one thing work with all cuts of another. For example, crew neck cardigans don’t really look good with cowel or v-neck blouses. So I like to have a rotation of scoop neck shells to wear with those. Or, slim-arm blazers/form fitting cardigans don’t really work with long sleeve blouses, so I like to have looser blazers to wear together. Or I have a wide leg version of black trousers to go with more form fitting blouses and a slim cut ankle pair to wear with tunic/looser blouses. Or, a tall pair of black heels for every day and a shorter pair for interview/walking around/travel days where I have to be on my feet. Lather, rinse, repeat.

        • Orangerie

          +1. I have 4 pairs of totally different black work pants (one is part of a suit though, and doesn’t get worn too often because I don’t like to dry clean the pieces separately).

      • Orangerie

        I’m with you on needing more options to stave off dry cleaning costs.

        I prefer not to dry clean my items too frequently if possible (since it’s hard on the fabric), so after each wear I hang things up to air out for a day or two before steaming/pressing and putting it back in my closet.

        Sometimes I just wait until the end of the week and gather up everything for a longer ironing session… with only a few pairs of pants and skirts it’d be more difficult to make this system work for me.

        • Kontraktor

          Yeah, exactly. Maybe I am just grimey or sweat a lot or am hard on clothes, but I feel I need a lot of options just to avoid having to clean everything so often! I do similarly in terms of wearing once (usually with a cami), airing out, spot clean, etc. before full clean.

          • Orangerie

            Silk blouses especially…. I can get max two wears out of one before it needs to be cleaned. Dry cleaning them every other week would ruin the fabric over time, so I’d rather invest in a few more options in order to extend the life of each piece.

    • Ellen

      Yay! I love questionair’s, but I can NOT divulge other then I have alot of clothe’s b/c the manageing partner and my dad could find out how much clotheing I have, even tho I onley wear about 10 different outfit’s and about 15 pair’s of pump’s. I also have alot of sheath dresse’s that do not count b/c they are not matched to a blazer, and other thing’s that I wear outside of work also, like blouse’s. So it is NOT some thing I can count acurately. FOOEY!

      Sam is mad that I am considering marrying Willem b/c he said he was first, but I told him he had bad dental care in the UK. He said Belgum was no better and that he would pay to send me back to the US if he were to re locate in the UK and we were married and I needed to see Dr. Vine. He also said Willem was a stiff from a second rate bank who could NEVER suport me like he could.

      I said that I was NOT marrying Willem but I would have to meet his reletives first anyway, b/c Grandma Trudy gave me a tentetive thumb’s up even tho Grandma Leyeh is down on Belgum and Willem just b/c of his name. FOOEY!

      Myrna said she would never marry a guy until she was sure the sex was good, and that is NOT hapening any time soon with Willem or Sam b/c I would have to have them tested for STD’s first, and I am not crazy about either. I would not have sex with Gonzalo b/c he wanted it right away and I knew that he was not to be trusted and then I saw him come out of a woman’s apartement on Lex in the morning, and I am sure he was not playeing Yatzee all night with her, b/c he had his hand on her tuchus. FOOEY!

    • Senior Attorney

      Oh, my. We did this on another forum I frequent recently, and I was well into triple digits. Like close to 300 items total. I did a big cleanout and donation run a couple of weeks ago, but I’m still into double digits for every category including skirts, pants, cardigans, knit tops, blouses, blazers, shoes, boots, and so on. (Except suits. I don’t wear suits any more and only own one.) Not to mention the 53 (I just counted) scarves…

    • Anonymous

      I have never counted, so this is just an estimate:

      4 suits (no longer worn in my current position)
      10 sheath dresses
      3 knit/silk dresses for more casual days
      7 tops
      7 sweaters
      12 cardigans
      1 all-season pencil skirt + 2 winter wool skirts
      1 pair of daily black flats + 1 pair of nude flats to wear with things black won’t work with (I have three pairs of the same heel in black, brown, and navy but haven’t worn them outside of interviews)

      0 pairs of pants
      0 non-suit blazers

    • OC

      Wow. You ladies have a lot of clothes. I sort of want to show these responses to my husband.

      I’m estimating but I’ve got:
      3 suits (hardly ever wear them, I just bought 2 of them while interviewing for my current job)
      6-7 skirts
      2 pants (not counting suit pants)
      6 pairs of work shoes
      4 cardigans
      3 sweaters
      2 shells
      8-10 work tops w/ sleeves.
      3 dresses

      I used to have more but changed hip size post baby and my wardrobe is still in recovery. Even with just this I still usually feel like I don’t recycle outfits too often.

    • Portia

      Junior associate, mid-law:
      1 suit
      1 pair of pants (not counting the jeans I can wear some Fridays but mostly wear on weekends)
      4 skirts
      25 dresses (about five of which are Fridays only)
      2 cardigans
      5 sweaters
      15 blouses/tops (most do double duty)
      8 blazers
      4 pairs of heels
      9 pairs of flats (I wear these outside of work too)
      1 bag

      I really need another suit and some boots, but keep buying all the pretty dresses instead.

    • baseballfan

      I like this. I need to do a specific inventory like someone else said, to keep in the know about what I have so I know what to buy. Lately I have been trying to buy with more of a purpose. I’d estimate the following:

      2-3 pencil skirts
      3-4 dresses
      4-5 pairs of work pants
      4 or so jeans that are decent
      8-9 jackets (this is too many; I recently left Big 4 accounting for a corporate tax department)
      5-6 pairs of work shoes, i.e. heels
      3 pairs of boots
      10-12 tank/shell type of tops that really are to be worn under suits (too many).
      5-6 knit tops
      4-5 sweaters
      2-3 cardigans
      2-3 pairs of sandals (not counting the cheapo Old Navy flip flops I have a few of).

      The above includes suits; I frequently mix up the pieces.

    • hoola hoopa

      casual non-law office

      3 dresses
      3 skirts
      2 trousers
      1 jeans
      1 blazer
      5 cardigans
      3 sweaters
      10 tops
      3 scarves
      3 flats
      1 boot
      1 bag

      I own more, but this covers 95% of my work outfits.

  2. JJ

    So, looking for help or advice from the group. I posted last week about my son having a severe allergic reaction to something and where to go from there. We found out through testing today that he’s actually allergic to tree nuts. He didn’t have tree nuts the day of his reaction, but he did have a doughnut from a bakery, so it’s likely from cross-contamination.

    I’ve gone to FARE’s website and I’m reading up on that. We have about 5 million epi-pens (for day care, both sets of grandparents, etc). But I’d love some advice from people more familiar with this process. Because right now, it seems pretty overwhelming and I’m realizing that life has changed pretty drastically regarding my awareness of potential allergens in everything we eat.

    • Equity's Darling

      A blog I read, Hungry Hungry Hippie, has a young son that was recently diagnosed with a nut allergy- you might find her blog posts over the last few months to be helpful? She wrote at least a few posts about it.

    • Anon

      I wanted to respond because this is exactly how I felt a year ago. Our child has numerous allergies (peanut, milk, egg etc, etc) and we’ve learned to live with it. Chances are that your child will be fine. In the developed world, there is a very low fatality rate for allergies. Things that we do:

      1. read labels religiously — you’ll soon learn which brand of crackers/snacks/chocolates are safe for your child, stick to brands you know but read labels each time.

      2. your child has a common allergy – people will be familiar with the idea of nut allergies and their possible severity – this is a real advantage (you’d be surprised how many people thought we made up the egg allergy)

      3. Don’t be afraid to travel — we’ve been on vacation but we always get a condo or apartment and cook for her at home (picnics in parks when touring around). We generally brought a few days of food from home (eg rice/pasta) to get us started so we didn’t have to rush to the grocery store with a tired toddler immediately. You can learn how to communicate with locals enough to be okay – we had good luck with getting plain rice made with olive oil in many countries. We don’t order meals on planes – we only eat the food we bring so there’s no cross contamination with her.

      4. your child doesn’t have to feel that different – we tell our toddler that certain foods will make itchy or sick – she understands that she can’t have cheese or certian other foods. we avoid talking about her allergies in front of her if possible as we don’t want to make her feel ‘different’.

      5. we have a ziploc bag with an epi-pen, benedryl and benedryl cream that we take with us everywhere in addition to the back-up epi pens at grandparents etc. We found the benedryl cream is great for minor contact reactions.

      hope some of that helps. We tried to keep in perspective that it’s a manageable medical condition and it will get easier as she’s older and can communicate if she feels that she’s having a reaction. It doesn’t change who she is, we just have to work a bit harder as parents to protect her.

    • anne-on

      Agree with the sentiment above that dealing with a child with allergies is so, so much easier than it used to be. Most schools and day cares do ban tree nuts, and most parents are very aware of the threat to allergic children. My son has a milk allergy which honestly is hard at times b/c people think its a lactose intolerance instead of an anaphylactic (sp?) reaction.
      Read labels religiously. Read up on common ‘hiding places’ for your son’s allergen so you know common (or uncommon) sources of tree nuts to avoid. Get used to being an advocate for your child, especially in restaurants. I either bring a lot of our own food or call ahead to the restaurant at an off hour to make sure its ok for him to eat there. If your kid is in school maybe volunteer to do birthday cupcakes so you know they’re safe, or send him in with his own treats.
      Carry wipes for public places if your son is going to eat off a picnic table/sit in a train seat/airplane seat/etc. Get very used to educating grandparents/caregivers who might not read labels as closely as you do or think ‘just a little bit’ of an allergic food won’t hurt your child (can you tell I’ve heard that one many times?).
      Get used to cooking/baking in your own home more. It stinks that my son can’t go into a bakery or eat pretty much any commercially available bread/cookie/cake/etc. but it is what it is, and luckily I’m a good cook and baker and have found subs.

      • JJ

        Thanks so much for the advice so far. I was actually very relieved that it was only tree nuts and not dairy/eggs/wheat or something similarly ubiquitous. Before last week, I never realized how prevalent dairy/eggs/wheat allergies were.

        • tesyaa

          My dad is 90 and has been highly allergic to nuts and many other foods his whole life. (And for most of his life, epipens weren’t readily available). My 14 year old son is allergic to tree nuts, peanuts and milk. For our family, it’s just another part of life.

    • Anon

      My cousin has sever allergies and while I know you’ll get tons of great advice about the logistics of handling that, one thing I learned from her experience is that YOU have to advocate over and over and over again for your child’s safety. Other people will a) not have all the information and b) not understand how serious it is. There were countless times when my cousin’s family would call a restaurant in advance and be told there were no peanuts in the kitchen, but they’d get there, ask again, and everything was fried in peanut oil. They’d be told an airline wouldn’t be serving any items containing nut traces, but would get on the plane, ask the flight attendant, and find out that packets of cashews would be served. Now, they literally ask questions 4-5 times at every establishment – every waiter, every server, every chef. Even still, they’ve had problems. Don’t be afraid to be “annoying” or “pushy” because it may save your child’s life.

    • hoola hoopa

      It’s super overwhelming and scary at first, but it gets much easier as it becomes routine.

      – Echo others that food allergies – particularly nuts – is taken very seriously these days by schools, daycares, restaurants, and most people.

      – We also carry Benadryl in addition to the epi pen. The pre-packaged doses of Benadryl are great.

      – Tell anyone who could potentially give your child food that they are allergic to nuts, even if you are with them. READ THAT A SECOND TIME; it’s that important. It’s so easy to have someone hand your child food when you’re in another room or just have your back turned.

      – Read every label. Every single one. My nut-allergic child had a reaction to rice cakes once. You’ll learn by trial and error whether your child can handle “processed in same facility” vs “processed on same equipment” vs “may contain”. Although for now, assume they are allergic to “may contain” items and only give them the others when you could get to an ER.

      – Ordering at a restaurant is easy because they are so conscientious. Educate yourself on the types of foods that have ‘hidden’ nuts, like pesto, so that you know to ask.

      – Eating with family/friends is FAR more dangerous. IME, it’s actually those people who are most likely to mess up, forget, give them a treat anyway, etc. They meticulously plan a meal without any ingredients with even the slightest hint of cross contamination – only to then pass out snicker bars for snacks. If they know someone with food allergies, particularly a family member, it’s so much easier.

      – When eating at other people’s homes, I mention the nut allergy when we RSVP. I didn’t usually request the meal be completely nut free when my child was a toddler, but I did ask that anything with nuts was out of reach. And I typically bring a dessert. Desserts are the most likely to contain nuts and are the one thing your kid really wants to eat.

      – Talk to your child about their allergy (at an age appropriate level) and let them observe you checking foods and ingredients. You’ll be surprised by how young they will begin taking some responsibility for checking food and informing people who offer them food.

      – Sunflower seed butter >> soy butter.

    • GA Anon

      I have a pretty severe tree nut allergy (although my reaction is heavy on the hives and vomiting with less of the breathing difficulties) and, while I carry an Epipen, my go-to is children’s liquid Benadryl. For milder reactions, I take a pill, but if it’s a bad reaction, I will drink about 1/3 of a bottle of liquid Benadryl. (FWIW, I weigh about 120 lbs.) Obviously you wouldn’t want to let your child carry this around and use his own judgment, but it’s the only thing that has worked for me in the most severe situations, so it doesn’t hurt to have on hand in a real emergency.

  3. Traveling with babies?

    I’m pregnant with our first kid, due in September. At some point during baby’s first year of life, we’ll have to take him/her to my husband’s native country on the other side of the world so his family can fuss over it (he’s the only one of his family that lives in America) and they can do their version of the christening ceremony. It’s a fourteen hour flight and a twelve hour time difference. We have no experience with babies and aren’t sure when would be the best time to plan the trip. Am I wrong in thinking it might be better to do it earlier, when the kid isn’t mobile and doesn’t have a set sleep schedule to f*** up? Does anyone have experience traveling with babies and can weigh in? Thanks in advance!

    • Anon

      I would avoid booking the trip until after the baby is born. It depends on how you adjust to motherhood and how the delivery goes (c-section is a longer recovery) and you may want to wait until first vaccinations are done at 2-3 months. Also, young babies sleep a lot, like 20 hours a day. My in-laws visited when our son was 8 weeks old and they didn’t get how much a newborn baby needed to sleep. Thank god they were only there for 10 days. They would want to go in and look at the baby sleep and ‘accidentially wake the baby while adjusting the blanket’. After they left, our son basically slept and ate and fell asleep again immediately.

      We visited their country at around 8 months old and that went much better. Definitely try to make breastfeeding work if at all possible, it was a relief to be able to feed the baby without bottles, especially with flight delays.

      • Purse Dilemma -- MZ Wallace

        Agree with this — I found that post-solid foods and pre-walking was very easy for airports. The closer they get to walking the harder it is to contain them. The more they can eat baby or even table foods means that it will be easier for you to be away from your house / kitchen since you can bring baby food through security and they have predictability in how / when they will eat.

        • anne-on

          Depending on how early your child is mobile, I’d say 4-6 months would be my ideal timeframe for travel. You can still nurse, but they’re not quite as eager to get into everything. I hated the crawling stage, I was hyper aware of how gross floors were, and all my son wanted to do was be down and moving, and shoving everything in his mouth. He would have been so annoyed about being confined in a stroller when all he wanted to do is crawl, and airports are just so gross.

    • Baby travel

      No real advice, but my sister and I traveled overseas with our parents as infants and it was fine. I had a passport at 6 months old. I went to Taiwan and China to be shown to relatives before I was 1 year old. We all went to Greece when my sister was just learning to walk and I was 3.

    • zora

      Definitely earlier the better. My mom travelled, alone, to the middle east with me and my sister when she was about 5 months old. She was still pretty easy at that point, and slept through most of the flight. The flight attendants were also super helpful, they are used to babies. But yes, the younger the baby and the more they are sleeping, the easier it will be. My parents also used to drug us for the flights when we traveled a lot as kids, helped us sleep through turbulence and ear-pressure, etc. Just gave us a bit of baby cold medicine when we were really little, and half a dramamine each when we got a little older. I know it kind of sounds terrible, but it was way less traumatic for me to sleep through most of a long haul flight, and I think is the main reason I love flying now and have no flight anxiety at all.

    • anon

      I would wait until after the baby is born to make sure that he or she does not have colic, because no one wants to take a constantly crying baby on a plane. However, I think the ideal time to travel is between 2 and 6 months- before the baby is mobile.

      My husband and I (who live in the midwest) took our baby to Puerto Rico, Honolulu, Seattle, and Napa before he was six months old, and it was very easy. The baby just wants to be held regardless of where he or she is. Breastfeeding and pacifiers definitely make things easier.

      Also, if the baby likes it, I recommend having an Ergo carrier (or some similar carrier) to navigate through the airport. I would check the car seat and stroller at check-in.

      • JJ

        I’d agree with all of this. We recently flew when my son was 4 months old and it was pretty perfect, timing-wise. He was old enough to last 4 hours between feedings, but just wanted to be held. On the flight, I just fed him and let him fall asleep eating.

        The only hard part is changing a baby’s diaper in an airplane bathroom. That should be an Olympic sport.

      • hoola hoopa

        Cosign. Our trip with a 5wk old was way easier (in retrospect…) than trips at 10 mo and later. Newborns do great with time change, small enough to pack and wear easily, and if they are exclusively breast fed you don’t have to worry about finding something they can/will eat. Although, if you plan to formula feed there could be an advantage for post-solid food (but still pre-mobile).

        Whatever you do, do it before they are walking!!!

    • Sarabeth

      We didn’t have to go as far, but took our daughter to visit her relatives in Europe from the East Coast at about 3.5 months. It was a good age, I think – I actually think that it was easier that she wasn’t doing any solids yet, so we didn’t have to pack anything food-related. Plus, she could still go to sleep in a stroller or bouncer, which made it much easier to go over to relatives’ houses for dinner and generally schedule travel. Plane ride over there was overnight, and she was an angel – nursed/slept the whole time. Plane ride back was daytime, and was a bit harder – she has always been a fussier baby, so we had to stand and bounce her most of the way back. All that said, though, if your baby is REALLY fussy (like, has colic), there’s a chance that they won’t have grown out of it by then. Ours was colicky through about 8 weeks, when we figured out it was mostly actually reflux, and travelling with her when she was still screaming for hours every night would have been hellish.

    • Anon

      You’re right! We went to India when our daughter was 4 months. It was perfect. Only breastmilk = no food issues. Not mobile. Slept a lot. Wonderful!

    • Traveling with babies?

      Thanks so much for the advice everyone! Lots of good stuff to think about.

  4. preg 3L

    I’m back in class today! For the first time since having the baby (Feb. 7). I know some people mentioned being interested in my baby’s birth story (I had her 10 minutes after arriving at the hospital!), but I also know lots of commenters here are not interested in reading yet another mama post. For those interested, I’ve added a link to my Tumblr where you can ask questions and I’ll post responses.

    • OCAssociate

      Congratulations! It’s so impressive that you’re back in class already. I hope it goes smoothly.

          • preg 3L

            We’re taking it day-by-day, and alternating between family members, depending on who’s available. At 6 weeks, she’ll be old enough for daycare so that’s our goal.

    • KLG

      Thanks for this! I always worked in law firms that had 12-16 weeks of paid maternity leave and now I do not and I’m kind of panicking about only have 8 weeks off. You’re giving me hope that it will all be totally fine!

    • Anon

      I really enjoyed reading your Tumblr post. I’m due in about 5 weeks and despite having taken labor classes, I am feeling anxious about the whole birthing process. Congratulations!!!

  6. Kathryn

    Nola posted this link http://www.6pm.com/ivanka-trump-itleea3-mint-patent the other day, and I fell in love and bought the shoes in black patent. Gorgeous.

    2 questions about these shoes: 1)would you wear them with black tights and 2) we’ve decided that patent is appropriate year round, right? Some people say only summer, some say only winter… but I think they’re great all the time.

    • NOLA

      I think I mentioned that I have them in black patent and… all of the above. I wear them with black tights and charcoal tights. Or in the summer with a skirt or dress.

      • Kathryn

        You’re right, and you also said they’re comfortable. Very excited to get them in the mail.

  7. RR

    I adore these shoes in both the tortoise options. Love.

    One of my most versatile pairs of shoes is a Stuart Weitzman Poco kitten heel in tortoise. Goes with everything.

    • JJ

      I have a peep-toe pair of patent Cole Haan tortoise-shell shoes that are my “What shoes do I wear with this?” go to. They literally go with everything.

      • RR

        And now I want a pair of Cole Haan tortoise-shell peep toes. I had no idea that these existed. Almost my whole shoe wardrobe is Cole Haan (the SW tortoise shell heels being a rare exception).

        • JJ

          They were the old Air Carmas with the peep toe. I haven’t seen them in years…which I why I won’t let this pair die, even though they’re 5 years old at this point.

          • RR

            Doubt anyone is still reading at this point, but just in case: You inspired me to go look for more tortoise shell shoes, and I’m now drooling over a pair of $600 Manolo Blahnik tortoise shell flats.

    • mascot

      +2 for tortoise shell. I have a different version of the Stuart Weitzman tortoise shell pumps and they play well with so many outfits.

      • KC

        +3 for tortoise shell. Mine are flats, but they’re my “go with anything and are not black” shoes.

    • Ginjury

      How does tortoise shell look with navy pants? I’ve been trying to figure out something other than black pumps to wear when I have a light colored top and navy pants. Black is too dark/stands out, nude is inappropriate for winter time in New England. I was thinking tortoise shell might just be the holy grail. Thoughts?

      • KC

        I think tortoise shell, brown, gray, dark green, or a burgundy would all be pretty and versatile choices.

  8. IT Chick in MN

    Ladies, I need some tips and advice. I just started working with a new client as a contractor. They track time and assign it to specific projects. I also need to add additional explanation to mine to provide ammunition for a full-time hire. I’ve never done this before and it is making me a bit crazy.

    There are seven million apps and websites out there. What works for you?

    • Anon

      Oops, I accidently hit report instead of reply. I’m a bit confused by your question: “I also need to add additional explanation to mine to provide ammunition for a full time hire”. Are you saying that they’re using your time and notes to prove to management that they need to replace you, the contractor, with a full time person? Would you be the full time hire?

      I’ve had to justify my time to clients many times because sometimes they simply don’t understand how long something takes. Example: last year you charged me $1,200 for my tax return, and this year you charged me $2,000, why the discrepancy?” I’ll explain that last year your return was pretty straight forward and consistent with your prior returns. However, this year you sold a property in Maine which required 1 hour of research on the tax treatment. You subsequently mentioned to me that you rented the property for the last 3 years and you never told me this so it hasn’t been reported as a rental. It took me an additional 3 hours to gather the data, etc. to determine what effect renting the property had on the sale. Etc.

      Sorry that was probably way too elaborate of an example….but what I’m trying to say is that if you’re billing the client based on actual time spent it’s not hard to justify. Just explain what you were doing on a daily basis.

      • IT Chick in MN

        We are trying to justify making my position full-time, with me in the role. While I enjoy contracting, this group has plenty going on to keep me from getting bored.

        Right now, I’m just not used to keeping track of what I do this closely.

    • Cb

      I use toggl, you can create categories and the notes provide quite a bit of space. I think there are better reporting functions with the pro version though.

    • Anonymous In-House Counsel

      I use freshbooks DOT com. Our company does not keep time records, but I wanted to to have real data to show my supervisor. I researched and liked this one best. $215/year for a one-person subscription. You can use it on desktop and ipad and iphone. Very simple to use. I set my billing rate at one dollar, so that when I prepare an invoice, it is actually a time record (because one hour = one dollar).

  9. Anon

    Networking threadjack!

    I recently discovered a superior of mine is related to Someone Very Important working in a field I would love to someday work in. Superior and I get along well and have a good working relationship. Do I just say “I’d love to chat with your cousin about X” or do I mention my interest in the field and hope that Superior makes the connection for me?

    (I’m not worried about her/Superior thinking I’m looking for another job – I left out a few details on purpose). Thank you!

    • Clementine

      What about going with something like, “Say, are you related to X who does fabulous job? Wow, I hear they’ve done incredible things related to interesting line of work. I would love to pick their brain.’

      Note: where I live, ‘pick their brain’ is a very common phrase that means ‘ask questions and get insight from’ but in a very friendly manner. Most places probably have a similar term.

  10. Parfait

    I like these shoes, especially in the brown tortoise with the contrastiness of the red heel.

    I’m so hoping to get back to wearing heels (oh and other things like regular exercise) soon. I am seeing a physical therapist and it’s been a while since my ankle randomly spazzed out and left me gasping and limping. It’s just a day-to-day dull ache. Bah. But I have hope, almost 4 months since I injured it.

    Of course, my coworker told me hers still hurts after she sprained hers in the 1970s. Fooey.

  11. Shopping in Milan

    I like these shoes, especially in the brown tortoise with the contrastiness of the red heel.

    I’m so hoping to get back to wearing heels (oh and other things like regular exercise) soon. I am seeing a physical therapist and it’s been a while since my ankle randomly spazzed out and left me gasping and limping. It’s just a day-to-day dull ache. Bah. But I have hope, almost 4 months since I injured it.

    Of course, my coworker told me hers still hurts after she sprained hers in the 1970s. Fooey.

  12. Zoloft Side Effect?

    I know it’s late in the day, but I have a question that’s worrying me a bit.

    I just started on Zoloft (first pill yesterday evening) for depression and anxiety for the first time. This morning, I woke up with a few full body shakes. Throughout the day, I’ve been constantly moving – shaking my arms, legs, feet, whatever – and feeling shaky generally. It isn’t at a ridiculous level, but it is enough that it is noticeable to me (not others). I’ve also noticed an increased heart rate, but with constant movement, that’s probably normal. I’m not sure if this is the Zoloft or not, so I thought I would see what this community might have to say. The shaking and increased heart rate are similar to the anxiety I’ve been feeling all week, so I don’t know if the anxiety has gotten worse or if it is a side effect of the medicine.

    I have a follow up with my practitioner in less than a week and it doesn’t seem like a big enough thing to call her about, so I thought I’d see if anyone had similar experiences. I googled and saw some somewhat similar things.

    • Anne Shirley

      Of course this is a big enough thing to call about! Call now, leave a message with the emergency call system for the doc if she is gone for the say, and try the pharmacist since sometimes they’re there later.

    • zoloft anon

      I would definitely follow up with the doctor just to be safe. That said, I had terrible side effects like the ones you describe, plus numb palms and constant waking up during the night, for the first week on Zoloft, and then they all went away and I’ve been fine ever since. Your body does need some time to get used to the medicine. Good luck!

    • P Funk

      I know I am super-late to respond, but please please call your doctor. I was on a (different) antidepressant and had slight shaking in my hands, but felt shaky inside (similar to what you described). We thought that side effect would dissipate over time. The side effects didn’t go away, but I found it was tolerable enough to continue with the medication. After a couple months on the medication, I had a seizure at work. Scary doesn’t begin to describe it. Finding the right medication that won’t give you persistent side effects is important! If the side effects don’t go away or make you uncomfortable, it’s essential that your doctor knows so they can figure out what will work for you. Best of luck and be well!

    • anonforthis

      Definitely call to see which category of side effects these fall into. Some side effects are not worrisome to your overall health and it’s more of a “can you live with them for a while until your body adjusts to the medicine?” Others are more concerning. But either way your doctor should know about them because everyone reacts differently to these medications. FWIW, I recently switched to zoloft from another drug and my psychiatrist had given me a long list of possible side effects before stating that my side effects would probably be lessened from having already been on a similar drug for some time. It kind of sounded like there would be much more of a transition if I was starting on them cold turkey. (And no, I don’t think I’ve really had any noticeable side effects).

  13. Paging Sidney Bristow

    Want To Get Married Here

    Just saw this article about implications of marriage on eligibility for subsidies under the Affordable Care Act. If I read correctly, if both partners qualify for subsidies before marriage, they may not qualify after the wedding. The article speculates about how many people won’t marry because then they will have to pay so much more for health insurance.

    http://business-news.thestreet.com/philly/story/obamacares-new-marriage-tax-penalty/1

    Re: our progress — my fiance and I made a list of all the things that might be affected, and we are researching each one. Then we will make our decision. Did I mention that we are both data- and list-driven, so it’s a good match :)

    • Sydney Bristow

      Thanks! I love the research list. We totally are the same way.

      We actually filed for domestic partnership in December so I could get on his excellent insurance. It was awesome to get my first physical in years recently and to have a doctor again.

    • Wildkitten

      WTG – I don’t know when you originally posted. Health insurance has, for so long, privileged marriage among all other relationships, besides parenthood. IRS is complicated, but recognizes IRS households, which you can decide to file separately if being an independent household is a benefit to you.

      Attaching privilege to domestic partnership has been recognized in some states/cities and from some employers, but private employes don’t always require your state to recognize your marriage. If you live in a non-Medicaid-Expansion state, depending your income, marriage may again privilege you w/r/t/ benefits.

      I will always (for the next 10 years) file separately for the LRAP benefits from my law school.

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