Coffee Break: Yale Assure Smart Lock

99 Comments

1. My mom has this lock. It works well, but the battery does need to be replaced more frequently than I expected (every few months).
   It was a good choice for her because of a history of falls, and we are now able to unlock the door remotely if someone like the superintendant or a neighbor needs to get in to check on her or help her.

   1. I have this as well and I only need to replace the battery every year. Perhaps your mom has an older version?

   2. I have a Schlage brand version of a keyless entry lock and I love it. When it got to the point of needing the battery to replaced often, I read that sometimes you need to need to do a factory reset. After doing this, my lock has been fine.

      1. Another vote for the Schlage. We were able to have Home Depot rekey it so it is on the same physical key as all our other Schlage locks (balcony doors, garage, etc.).

2. My 9th grader just got his first C, after way too many Bs. Does anyone have any resources on helping him figure this out? I’m thinking like a daily/weekly planner so we can review assignments and I can help him help himself with studying, test taking, and executive functioning skills. TIA!

   1. Is he struggling with the material, where a tutor might help? Or struggling with organization? All of the above? Can he meet with the teacher to get a diagnostic sense of what the C means? Where he needs to improve, etc.? And if it’s in math, a tutor because math is so cumulative that weakness is hard to overcome once the foundation is itself weak.

      1. yeah the C was in math (honors geometry) and his foundation isn’t as strong as it should be. part of the problem is that he does the homework, they go over it in class, and if he doesn’t get it right he doesn’t go back and do it again, he just assumes he learned it. he also seems to take pride in being the first one to finish a test in class. it’s going to be a fight to keep him in honors if this quarter (just began) is the same.

         1. If he’s struggling with honors, take him out of it. No offense but not every kid belongs in advanced programs, and your ego can take the hit now better than his academic future will if you force him to remain in a program that isn’t suitable for him.

            1. This.

   2. I would start with talking with his teachers to see what actually is going on. I used to tutor kids in high school, and most students fell into a few camps:
      — Missing foundation in a basic math concept (typically fractions). Tutoring helps this.
      — Kid is using a calculator or the internet to do most homework and isn’t allowed those resources on tests.
      –Kid is taking too many honors classes and either isn’t interested or it’s too much pressure.

      1. Another former tutor here. I saw issue #1 happen a lot when kids had just been taught to solve math problems by rote and didn’t actually understand the underlying concepts–place value, fractions, etc. In the first year or two of high school it is really critical to have them truly understand exponents, logarithmic functions, and trig functions AND to be very quick at applying all the properties/identities/formulas. Calculus itself is easy to understand; what trips kids up is lack of understanding of and fluency with those fundamentals.

      2. I’m pretty good at math, but I really struggled in 9th grade honors geometry. Part of it may have been a lack of basic math skills (I’m good at fractions). But I am also really bad at conceptual math, particularly seeing the relationships between shapes or manipulating them. I was absolutely fine in honors algebra, then struggled again in AP Calculus.

3. The idea of an internet connected lock creeps me out. Can the company get hacked and then all the houses using that lock are unlocked? If my phone is stolen, can someone reprogram my lock so no one can get in the house? Happy if someone more cyber literate than me can enlighten me. While I don’t think anyone is going to purposely target ME for hacking, I wouldn’t rule out someone trying to do mischief on a large scale against all lock owners.

   1. Hacks and power outages have affected locks before. I think it was more that people were locked out of their house than that anybody got in though.

   2. I carry a key for mine just in case because things happen. I like the keyless entry more for giving people a code like my cleaning lady, etc.

   3. I have one of these (another brand). When I was deciding on one and worried about hacking, someone mentioned that most robbers could just … smash a window and let themselves in (especially true with my house’s back doors). Like, why bother hacking for an average robber? So, I bought the lock and treat it as a risk I’m willing to take. YMMV

   4. I have had one since 2017. No hacks so far. I know they cannot reset the master code remotely because I tried to do that earlier this year for safety reasons and had to wait weeks for a technician to come, which was not okay. (There is a way to do it yourself, which the technician shared, but the customer service person on the phone did not, despite my being very clear it was a safety issue!)

   5. You are correct to be concerned, and this is a reason I will not live somewhere that had electronic locks. Mostly you should be worried about being locked out during a power or internet outage though, less that someone will hack stuff to unlock your door. It’s theoretically possible, just extremely unlikely.

      1. Most of the Smart locks run on battery and are designed in a way that you can still open them if there is a power/internet outage. Mine, you use the keypad just can’t operate remotely.

      2. I have a smart lock that operates on a battery and via Bluetooth, not wireless. After a hurricane, when we were still 5 hours away, we were able to let relatives in to check for damage and throw away the contents of our refrigerator, even though there was no power or internet.

         Of course, if the battery dies, we need a physical key. We keep physical keys on our keyring, hide a physical key, and have given spares to our parents who live nearby.

   6. For an in between solution: I really liked the keypad lock at my last house. No online or smart functionality, but the ease of entering with a pin and never accidentally forgetting one’s key was awesome.

   7. Exactly. Also, went home w my friend to find out her digital lock was out of battery and she was locked out of her apt. I can (try to) control not losing my keys but it seems way harder to control a digital/smart lock not failing.

      1. Mine functions if you hold a 9v battery up to it when out of power. So I carry those in my purse and car and have one on my porch (you still need the code).

   8. I’ve had one since 2018. In terms of things I’m risk adverse about, I waited a long time to have Apple Pay on my iPhone because I didn’t want my financial information connected to my phone, but the convenience is nice.

      The lock only works remotely if you assign owner privileges to someone. Otherwise, they have to be in proximity to the house. It alerts you when it’s opened and who opened it so better than just giving people keys. Even if someone hacked into the company and unlocked a bunch of doors, what good what that do unless they were standing by to open the doors too?

   9. None of my cybersecurity professional friends have smart gadgets in their homes, and that is a very intentional decision.

4. thank you all for your mostly constructive comments on my post this morning about potentially medicating a kiddo with ADHD. perhaps a ‘dye free, fully natural’ etc. lifestyle would make a difference, but i have no idea how on earth i’d get my kiddo or other members of the family on board with that at this age. maybe when older and they understand a bit better. Kiddo already has to be at school at 7:20am, so I don’t know that early morning runs or swim practice are realistic at this age. we try for kiddo to have unstructured playtime outside on a playground every day, weather permitting. i do wish school had a lot more unstructured play time. or time to move around. i could ask kiddo if she wants to switch schools, but idk that she will want to as she likes her school. lots to think about. i know this is not the moms board and many on here seem to hate their parents, but i can promise that many of us really are trying our best.

   1. Dye free, fully natural didn’t make the slightest difference for ADHD for me. It’s great to hear that she likes her school and isn’t unhappy!

      One other thing to consider is that there are more meds than there used to be. People our age didn’t do well on Ritalin may have never gotten to try Guanfacine, Vyvanse, or Qelbree as children. So it’s not as big a deal these days if a particular med isn’t a good fit.

      1. We tried some things and there are also medication shortages that got in the way. We do a morning Adderall XR dose and a smaller non-XR “homework” dose. Weight has been stable. My kid eats really healthy and is active. All good but not moving the needle on the ADHD.

   2. I didn’t comment on the morning thread, and I don’t have kids but was diagnosed with ADHD (and medicated) in my early 30s after white-knuckling through school and 10 years of law practice. Whether or not you choose to go the medication route for your child, I think it’s really great that you’re engaged in this and exploring options (including therapy!) with professionals early, rather than later. I wish my parents would have done the same for me.

   3. Hugs. My high school AuDHD kiddo will probably do well in college with its later start times (not 7:15) and more walking / downtime. We held off on meds until the zooming around the classroom became problematic (one of the checklist items is “driven, as if by a motor;” check!). It has been a journey, from a horrid first pediatrician to one who really tried and tried with the meds before sending us to a very good psychiatrist to manage meds with. A psychologist who has a good working relationship with the psychiatrist and treats mostly girls (all docs are also women). And as much exercise and unstructured time as we can allow. It’s very rough — the world isn’t designed around kids like her and adults even in professions like pediatrics and teaching and counseling are often horrible or less informed than a basic google search. There is no manual for us parents. And heaps and heaps of judgment.

      1. we are very fortunate to be working with an awesome (female) psychiatrist who has a lot of experience with this population, and a great therapist.

   4. What is the harm of trying medication? With stimulants, you will know very quickly whether they work, and you can discontinue them easily.

   5. The people pushing lifestyle and diet as the only solution are cut from the same cloth as MAHA antivaxxers.

      1. Maybe, but they still play a major role in how your brain and body functions and quality of life.

         1. Agreed. I believe exercise has been shown to be as effective as certain antidepressants for up to moderate depression. Whether or not it’s an option for everyone with depression is obviously going to vary.

      2. There’s nothing wrong with preferring diet and exercise solutions to pharmaceutical ones, especially in areas where the evidence of benefit/harm is iffy. The problem comes when you get too extreme one way or the other. Some people do badly on medication and early morning exercise genuinely works better for them and refusing to make space for that is pushing people into MAHA/anti-vaxx circles.

      3. Hard agree. It is honestly offensive. No, you can’t fix ADHD by having them go on a run before school. If only it were that easy.

         1. That’s the thing – what makes another ADHD parent’s report that hard exercise works wonders for her kid less valid than you saying it’s offensive? There’s an important discussion to be had here.

            1. Well, typically people saying that you can fix ADHD by going on a run are also implying that taking medication is dangerous or lazy, or that ADHD isn’t a real problem with a physiological basis but rather the result of poor lifestyle factors. That’s why it can be offensive. It implies that it’s easy to “treat.” It’s just not, and that’s from personal experience. Exercise helps–it can even “work wonders” for some people–but it does not ameliorate all ADHD symptoms and YMMV with how well it does help symptoms. ADHD meds are remarkably effective, and they’re the first line treatment for a reason.

               Saying exercise works wonders for your kid is valid- this is an individualized experience.

               Implying that all people can comprehensively treat their ADHD by going for a run is not reporting on an individual’s experience. It’s a generalization that’s not backed up by medical science and is often coupled with dismissive or anti-medication attitudes.

            2. 4:41, thank you for explaining this much better than I could.

            3. Not even an ADHD parent. I made that comment and as far as I can tell, I’m literally the only person who actually took ADHD meds as a child in that whole thread.

               The meds worked but had side effects. Hard exercise worked and had no side effects other than taking a lot of time and effort.

            4. The ADHD meds of today are faaaaat different from the ritalin of yesteryear

            5. Most people parenting kids with ADHD are old enough that ADHD diagnoses and meds were not available to them as girls, so it’s not surprising that they don’t have firsthand experience taking the meds themselves.

            6. ???? I’m 39 and am the person who was diagnosed and medicated with ADHD as a child. I am currently parenting children.

      4. This is just as silly and intellectually hollow as a comment ranting about Big Pharma shills would be. I think we are collectively smarter than this sort of reductionist take.

   6. I really don’t know how to interpret some of the different reports from parents of kids with ADHD. Some will swear up and down that exercise and lifestyle helps a ton and that meds were prescribed needlessly, while others will say it didn’t help at all until medication was in place too. AFAIK, there are valid population data to support both takes.

      1. The problem with the lifestyle management approach is that is requires a lot of management of the ADHD child/spouse etc because they aren’t going to be able to support and enforce that architecture independently. Not good for autonomy

      2. I think someday there will be probably be multiple diagnoses where we just have ADHD now. Everyone was right, but people just had different things going on!

         1. Totally agree. My body’s unique chemistry means that I tolerate some things well and other things much less so. With meds, I’m the one who gets side effects from a really great drug to the point where I can’t take it. My kid can’t tolerate the adhesive to a medicine that comes in patch form. Steroid bursts make me terribly sick but they help some people immensely. It shouldn’t surprise us that much that we need some degree of medically supervised trial and error to manage some conditions.

         2. Also even if it’s all the same disease, different treatments can work for different people. It’s kind of an extension of people responding differently to different meds.

         3. totally agree. there is no one way to manage it. also, adhd frequently occurs with other issues (comorbidities) and those drugs and brain chemicals can interact in fun ways. add to that the situation — whether teachers are open to accommodations like standing during class, whether one or both parents has zero understanding or an explosive personality or attention problem themselves. i’ve asked on here before about the extreme anxiety my AuDHD kid faces and been told by the ADHDers that I should be focusing on the ADHD instead of the anxiety.

            this is more of an AuDHD thing but everyone has different sensitivities, too. you’d be amazed at the number of people who can hear and are bothered by WiFi or even certain wavelengths of light. ADHD is on the neurodiversity spectrum for a reason.

   7. There are 74 comments on your post and not a one of them says anything about hating one’s parents. Lots of people said they wish they had been medicated as a child, though, because it made such a difference when they grew up and started taking medication.

      I think you have a lot of work to do yet. You haven’t fully accepted that your child has a medical condition, one that sometimes needs meds. That she has a medical condition is not a reflection on you. Gently, this isn’t about you at all and whatever emotions you might be feeling – this is solely about your daughter. Are you letting your preconceptions and emotions get in the way of her getting good care?

      What do you do when she has a cold? You treat it as best you know how. If someone says “here’s a treatment with no longlasting side effects,” you don’t run and hide from it because you’re scared of it, you try it! If it isn’t working, you discontinue it.

      I also don’t think anyone said anything about a dye-free, all-natural lifestyle. As someone with depression, I could exercise and eat right and meditate all I want, it’s not going to change the fact that the chemicals in my brain aren’t right. Your daughter can be executive coached and study halled, and that might help her some, but it’s ultimately not going to fix the root cause.

      I suffered for years as an adult because I was scared to try meds for all the nonsense reasons you’ve listed. Please don’t let your daughter suffer because you’re too scared of…what?…to let her try out a cure for a week, a couple weeks. You could be changing her life for the better.

      1. Yeah, this post seems to be making up a reality that wasn’t present on the morning post…

         1. I saw a shade of it that your family of origin may have some very unhealthy coping habits with self-medicating their minds. Prior generations don’t know what we do. ADHD kids can be lazy or spoiled, but that’s on top of a condition that can be treated in a way that very much improves their lives and outcomes. Meds + healthy lifestyle + the right counselor can be part of the discussion and part of what you try. But trying nothing can wind up with them trying something else ad hoc and perhaps for the worse for a bit of relief.

      2. no every time parenting comes up here it’s clear that at least 50% of you hate your parents. or the ones who do are super vocal.

         1. I didn’t get that sense this morning at all.

            1. Same.

   8. One idea I don’t think I saw – I had a sibling who everyone thought and medicated as ADHD in junior high and high school; they couldn’t ever make it to school on time and couldn’t concentrate. We figured out their senior year that it was actually narcolepsy with delayed sleep onset that was preventing early wake-ups, lack of attention in school, and fatigue. Early school start times are a bad (/unavoidable) idea for teenagers but there can be other reasons they are really impossible. It led to them dropping out and getting a GED before they would have graduated. Doing fine now with a great job that fits their body, but still, years of shame and pain could have been avoided with the right dx.

      1. I also know someone with narcolepsy who was misdiagnosed with ADHD!

         1. i’ve heard this also for sleep apnea – particularly if you had your kids adenoids removed early on because of snoring (before age 4) then they can grow back and cause sleep troubles later.

         2. My doctor said sleep deprived people test the same as people with ADHD on assessments. They try to get around this issue by asking about life history, but if someone has always been sleep deprived, it doesn’t always correct for it.

            I have so many symptoms of narcolepsy, except I only fall asleep during the day if I haven’t had caffeine. I’ve fallen asleep during fasted (and therefore no caffeine) dental work before though. Sleep study showed issues but couldn’t get me a Dx. I feel like I have something less than narcolepsy, but wonder what would happen if I could get Modafinil or Wakix, especially since stimulants aren’t great for my ADHD.

   9. i commented about guanfacine/Vyvanse for my kid and then my own experience. we briefly tried dye free and didn’t see an impact but if you just shop at Aldi’s or Whole Foods you’re automatically doing a lot better because they don’t allow the suspect dyes.

      (one thing i learned that absolutely infuriated me: there are dyes in those sealed drink boxes and pouches. like, why!? they can’t see it. wouldn’t dye free be better in case of a spill anyway?)

      for sleep try a weighted blanket or a meditation lamp – can help her quiet her mind.

   10. I’m trying so hard to be supportive, but you’ve got to be kidding. A ‘dye free, fully natural’ lifestyle has 0 actual evidence for helping kids with ADHD.

       Get her in a swim team and let her try meds.

5. What are people’s favorite cooking blogs? I frequently use Smitten Kitchen and Budget Byte recipes, but wanted to branch out a bit.

   1. I always have good luck with Cookie and Kate.

      1. +1

   2. Carlsbad Cravings
      Salt and Lavender
      Little Spice Jar
      Diane Morrissey (Instagram only)
      Probably 80% of my regular recipes are from one of the above. I follow them all on Instagram, but I have their cookbooks also (other than Little Spice Jar-she doesn’t have one). I go to Sally’s Baking Addiction when I need homemade bread.

   3. I like Skinnytaste and Half Baked Harvest’s recipes, though I skip just to the recipe parts and ignore everything else.

   4. Cookie & Kate
      How Sweet Eats
      Gimme Some Oven
      I Am A Food Blog
      Isabel Eats

      What’s Gaby Cooking and Damn Delicious are mostly recycling their own content lately, but the recipes are still good

   5. The only one I reference is JustOneCookbook for Japanese recipes. My husband lived over there for a significant portion of his childhood, but he doesn’t know what it was he ate or how to make it.

   6. In addition to the blogs everyone else listed- Lillie Eats n Tells and Jar of Lemons are so gooooood!

   7. rainbow plant life, although I watch the YouTube recipes more and only sometimes go to the blog.

   8. Sally’s Baking Addiction for baking

      1. +1 every single recipe I’ve made from Sally has been a hit

   9. Real food dieticians!

   10. Real Food Dietitians and Jenn Eats Good. Work Week Lunch.

   11. Serious Eats, BudgetBytes and Veg Recipes of India are my most-used sites.

   12. King Arthur Flour is my go-to for baking.

   13. What to cook when you don’t feel like cooking by Caroline Chambers on substack

   14. woks of life
       omnivore’s cookbook

   15. BBC good food, and Jamie Oliver online.

6. What are your proudest mid life accomplishments? I’m in a kind of weird place right now career wise. My job is fully remote, low stress and allows me plenty of time for family and fitness. It pays reasonably well. My finances and my relationships are mostly good, at least from what I can reasonably control. I’m putting a ton of effort and energy into my fitness goals right now and would like to channel some of that towards other forms of self improvement. I’m in my early forties if that helps.

   1. Maybe not what you asked, but I’m 60 and wish I had started earlier thinking about how to build the life I want after my kids are out of the house. Specifically, finding volunteer work that I love, and finding communities where I might make new friends. A goal I have for myself is to find another exercise group or class.

   2. I’m not mid life yet, but I hope that when the kids are out of toddler stage I can get back into music! I’ve kept up my violin reasonably well, but cello and viola have fallen by the wayside. And if you’ve never played an instrument, go ahead and start!

      1. +1 for music! I started voice lessons at age 45, joined my city’s symphony chorus a year later, and soon afterwards sang in my first opera chorus and began performing solos and chamber works in church. It is the most rewarding part of my life.

         1. What was your musical background before this? It is my dream to be a decent singer and I would love to participate in a group setting (though I don’t think my city has any ensembles with the kind of music I enjoy), so I think I would like to do voice lessons. I don’t have a musical background though and need so so much work.

            1. I have a bachelor’s degree in music performance on an instrument. The basic musicianship skills I learned in college, including sight-singing, along with my understanding of how to practice, help a lot. But I knew nothing about vocal technique and hadn’t touched my instrument much since college when I started voice lessons. I think that with a serious teacher and a willingness to put time into sight-singing and ear training, a beginner without previous musical experience could learn to keep up in a non-auditioned community choir fairly quickly.

            2. Do it!!!! Learning a brand-new skill as an adult is so much fun. There is no regret about not being as good as you used to be, the way there is when you pick back up with an old pursuit.

         2. Wow – I’ve never heard such a mid-life musical pedigree. Bravo!

            1. oops meant resume!

      2. Plus a million for music! My husband was really struggling in retirement and choir and piano lessons have, I swear, saved him!

   3. I’m proud that I’m willing to try new things and take risks in the outdoors – that I don’t sit on the sidelines coordinating the fun while the men in my life have it. It’s become really important to me. Women don’t have enough fun and I’ve had to work hard to make room for it with child and elder care responsibilities, not to mention work.

   4. I have made and kept enough money that working is optional for me. I’m 37.

   5. In 2025, I got my finances in order, started working out with a personal trainer, and started seeing a therapist. I think what I’m most proud of, though, is developing my village. A lot of our friends from our 20s moved away during our 30s, and we found ourselves with very few local friends. DH and I have spent a couple of years developing relationships with various acquaintances. We’ve done small talk with neighbors and other parents at school, we’ve invited people to lunch, we’ve invited people over for brunch and dinner. We now have a large group of friendly acquaintances and have our first new friends since our 20s.

      Also, we do a lot for our friends and family. DH had surgery a couple of weeks ago, then had some minor complications from surgery, and our village turned up in a really lovely and powerful way. They brought food and gave us Uber gift cards, offered carpools and playdates for my son, and just took care of us for a couple of weeks.

   6. I don’t know about proudest mid-life accomplishments, but the way I like to spend my time in addition to exercising include volunteer work (I like a mix of administrative type things that my law degree is useful for including sitting on boards, and on-the-ground physical work like making and serving meals), practicing a second language (Spanish for me), and doing artistic things like playing music and embroidery. I also read a lot.

   7. I got really involved with community activities. Mainly my local Rotary Club, but also other service organizations and sitting on nonprofit boards. It’s a great way to make friends and also give back to the community.

7. Any logistical advice or resources I can pass along to someone who just left her husband? No kids, they own a home together, and they’re short on cash. She hasn’t filed yet but she left their shared home and is staying elsewhere. I’m certain she’s not getting any practical guidance and I worry she’s going to unintentionally do something that makes the process more difficult. For example I think I’ve read here that moving out of their home was a bad call…

   The post this afternoon seemed like it was mostly affiliate links to find a lawyer.

   1. Honest and truly, the very best advice and first order of business is to talk to a lawyer. As for moving out, it’s harder to get the house back if you move out first (ask me how I know), but also if you gotta go, you gotta go.

   2. To clarify, there were no affiliate links in the post.

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