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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 123 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Circle Stud Earring

Coffee Break· Under $150

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Banana Republic Circle Stud EarringI tend to dislike post earrings, as well as faux gems, but sometimes it's nice to have an inexpensive, colorful, simple earring to pop in when you're feeling uninspired. These earrings come in topaz, light blue, and black — but my heart is with the colorful fuchsia. They were $35, but with code BRMAJOR you can take 40% off, bringing them down to $21. Banana Republic Circle Stud Earring (L-2)

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Comments

  1. pickle

    I don’t think that post earrings are uninspired! I wear glasses so I love posts, especially vintage. (I have purchased clip-ons through ebay and converted them to pierced.) Am I the only one who thinks that dangly earrings don’t “go” with glasses?

    • Anon

      I personally feel the same way for my own glasses/earrings. But I have friends who rock dangly earrings and glasses, and I think it looks good. And often inspires me to go dangly with glasses.

    • LizNYC

      I have glasses and wear both posts and dangles, but for me, it’s usually a matter of feeling that posts are for “daytime” and dangles are for “night” (or maybe it’s because my dangly ones are REALLY sparkly and attention-getting?).

      Anyway, posts are my go-to and I have them in all sorts of colors, plus I was fortunate to inherit lots of real stones from different family members. So yay for post earrings! :)

    • Lin

      Well, it’s all personal preference. I wear glasses, and like both post and dangly earrings, though I do keep the longer danglies for evening. At work I actually prefer dangly earrings because I’m on the phone a lot, and the posts tend to dig into my head, behind my ear… though I’ve been told holding the phone between ear and neck is bad anyway, and really I should get a headset…

    • Baconpancakes

      Nope, I agree. Small <1" hoops are ok, as are some that are understated and smallish. Some people can pull it off, of course, but I feel like glasses + dangly earrings just looks too busy. Same reason I wouldn't wear dangly earrings with a big, loud scarf.

    • Miss Behaved

      I wear glasses and dangly earrings. I have long hair and studs don’t show up.

      Currently, I’m wearing faux (very faux!) emerald plastic drop earrings.

  2. Sydney Bristow

    My life would be a lot simpler sometimes if more people would do business online/via email. Finding time during the day for a personal phone call longer than a few minutes is virtually impossible. If I have a choice of a few businesses to use and one of them is ok using email then they’ll get my business! It seems like none of them do though. Grrr

    • bananagarm

      Co-signed! My oil-change place gives me a $5 discount for booking online. Little to they realize I’d probably be willing to pay more for the convenience…

    • kjoirishlastname

      agree. I’m not a phone person. I loathe it, in fact. But, sometimes talking to people does have its perks. I think sometimes you can negotiate better on the phone…but it depends.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I know you’re right. This really goes beyond my phone aversion though to the point of it just being extremely difficult logistically. I do hate the phone in general though so that is probably just making it more frustrating for me.

      • WorkingMom

        I LOATHE the phone. I spend a lot of time on it, because many times I just need to have a conversation with a client rather than email but man, they drive me batty. Possibly the only thing worse than being on the phone… voicemail! Listening to voicemail is the worst part of my day.

        • Hel-lo

          Agree 100%. If Google Voice were available in my area for transcribing voice mails, my life would be so much better. I hate voice mail.

    • GlobalEmily

      100% Agreed! Making appointments is so much easier online where I can compare my availability to the business’ availability. Plus its nice to be able to make an appointment when I remember instead (typically first thing in the morning when I wake up or late at night) of remembering to make an appointment during business hours. IMHO businesses that don’t invest in online scheduling are failing to do so at their peril!

    • Anonattorney

      On the flip side, I get really frustrated when companies don’t have phone numbers that I can call to get customer service. I prefer signing up for services online (or paying my bill online), but I get really irritated when I’m not able to ever get anyone on the phone to deal with a problem.

  3. Anon

    Recruiting TJ: Do recruiters/head hunters typically recruit for in-house jobs or only for law firms? My question is for an attorney looking to transition in a mid-sized market from law firm to in-house but is not sure if talking to a head hunter would make sense.

    • WomenLawyersNews

      Have actually heard from many recruiters on this topic – they do on occasion get hired to fill in-house spots, but seems like that is not typical and does not happen often. Hopefully this is helpful as you allocate your time between head hunters and other in-house searches. A few other ideas though: 1) Keep recommending NAWL today but the organization has a huge in-house membership and so is a great way to connect with those attorneys to get a sense of their experience and career path. The mid-year meeting is coming up in DC in March if you’re able to attend. 2) Try putting together a spreadsheet of companies you’re interested in working for and check their career site periodically as they often post all open positions there, legal included. 3) Finally, try book-of-lists type publications in your preferred geographic area to help you find companies you are interested in – and your local law library may even have a directory of in-house counsel by geography (got example, think there is one for New England, listed by state). 4) Call your law school career services office and/our check your alumni directory/linked-in to see if any of your former classmates are in-house and can give you some advice. Good luck!

      • kc esq

        Can you elaborate on how NAWL is helpful? I was active in a women’s bar association in my former state and it was great, but I haven’t found the same network or useful events in my current state.

        • WomenLawyersNews

          Sure, and understood, women’s bar associations can vary from state to state. National Association of Women Lawyers has very substantive, practical events (local and national) that make a significant difference to practice and career development (past topics include negotiating comp, marketing, why women aren’t progressing in law firms – lots of “Ah ha!” moments that help you see things more clearly!). You can take a look through their website and Women Lawyers Journal publication for a sense of what they’re up to. In addition, they offer great resources such as their mentoring program. The networking and advice from other NAWL members alone is worth the time and cost investment. Hope that helps, and if you would like more information, feel free to send an email, happy to chat further.

    • Anon Attorney

      Yes, there are head hunters/recruiters that routinely handle in-house positions. Major Lindsay comes to mind (although they aren’t my favorite). Many HR departments are ill-equipped to handle the hiring of attorneys so they are treated like most senior level positions and a head hunter is used. They wouldn’t hire a CFO or a GC using just their website application system. They may use a retained search depending on the seniority and expertise. A lot of positions are filled through referrals so check your network as well.

      • Anon Attorney

        Lateral Link also has a “division” devoted to in-house placement.

      • saltylady

        We use a HH for our in house hires (including me). It helps get away from the word of mouth/good ole boy thing. We’ll still do online postings but then route the applications to the HH to cull through. So even though I knew someone who worked here, my resume was still handed straight to the HH to see if I should be one of the five or so they interviewed.

        • new york associate

          For those of you who use a HH/recruiter for in-house hires, what industries/regions are you in? I am particularly interested in whether this is more true in the SF Bay Area than in NYC.

          • Anon

            I was hired for my first in-house job through a recruiting firm that just did in-house placements, but in the Bay Area – can’t speak to NYC>

  4. zora

    Turns out I inadvertently wore Denver’s colors today! I really had absolutely no idea, this is how much I don’t know about that sport with the pointy ball and the helmets. I am also going to a little lecture event tonight, and I just feel weird that everyone will think I’m a broncos fan, and that people (like my coworker this morning) will keep saying something to me about it and I’ll have to keep revealing that I’m an idiot who has no idea about the sportysports!

    • NOLA

      Oh, that’s hilarious. I wouldn’t worry about it. Not everyone is obsessed with football. And since you’re not in the Denver area, no biggie.

    • TO Lawyer

      Hahaha hilarious. If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t notice? I like sports but know pretty much nothing about football and I always end up calling my dad/guy friends on Sunday afternoons and then I get confused as to why no one wants to talk to me. I’m always happy for superbowl sunday because then I can stop feeling so confused and left out about what is happening in the world (and on my FB newsfeed)

    • Baconpancakes

      SPORTSBALL! SPORTSBALL! RAH! RAH! RAH!

      Yeah, I’ve got nothing. I’ve learned enough to watch the Superbowl and nod at the right point in a coworkers’ conversation, but I wasn’t entirely sure who was playing until today.

  5. ANP

    Threadjack! Husband and I just sold our house after five days on the market (which we’re thrilled about, even though we’re taking a big ol’ bath on the place and will have to write a hefty check at closing). We have six weeks between the closing date on our current and new places. This was unavoidable due to the needs of all parties involved.

    We have two kids under 4 as well as a medium-sized (amazingly well-behaved) dog. Our plan is to move in with my husband’s parents for the duration. They have a four-bedroom home that can certainly accommodate our crew, though of course it’ll be somewhat close quarters for those six weeks. My in-laws will be taking a week of vacation during that time, which will give us a breather as well.

    What do I need to think about going into this arrangement? Husband’s parents are very nonconfrontational but I want it to be as comfortable as possible for them. My MIL is retired; FIL works full time in an office. Hubs and I both work full time and our kids are in daycare. My MIL usually watches our kiddos once per week but I think for this time period I’m going to get them into full time daycare just to give her a break.

    I’m looking for any and all suggestions: what/how to pack for this (we’ll be with them from mid-Feb until the end of March), things to consider, conversations to have. Kind of freaking out at the idea of living with another set of adults; I haven’t lived at home for more than 6 weeks for over 14 years!

    • KLG

      A temporary situation of us combining households with my mother in law for “at most 6 months” has lasted a year and isn’t likely to change until late this spring/early this summer at the earliest. My best advice is to ask your in laws about the timing of running the dishwasher and the laundry. Do they want to be able to do laundry at certain days/times? Are they okay with doing their laundry during the workday so that you can do your family’s on evenings/weekends? Will the dishwasher running in the evening bother your in laws or your children? How do you want to split grocery shopping? Do you all plan to eat together for dinner? Who will cook?

      I think full time day care for the transition is a great idea. As for packing, bring the minimum you think you can get away with (think as though you’re packing for a two week stay). It’ll be a little inconvenient for 6 weeks but better than trying to haul a ton of stuff over to an already fully stocked home.

    • Diana Barry

      Congrats on the sale! Assuming the P+S goes through (or has it already?) I would start by getting rid of stuff first. You probably have way more than you need. You can get a dumpster, put stuff on craigslist, freecycle, etc.

      Then I would pack stuff as if for a long vacation. Clothes, toiletries, and kid/pet toys. I wouldn’t take any more stuff than you ABSOLUTELY have to to go to their house. I think a lot of times clutter causes stress, so you want to live as lightly as possible in their house. Don’t bring along things “just in case” unless it is something you absolutely need for that time period.

      All the rest of your stuff can go into storage.

      I would def offer to take over cooking/procuring food half the time, unless your MIL is picky about her kitchen. Then ask them (or your DH can) what they will need from you and how you can be good house guests.

    • mascot

      Perhaps a conversation about what your daily schedules look like. If the kids need to eat breakfast in 7 minutes to make it to school on time, you don’t want to insult MIL when she makes a huge pancake breakfast. If she already watches your kids, her house is probably somewhat kid friendly. I’d also try to take the kids out for an evening/afternoon weekly to give them their house back. Even if you need to retreat to a friends house. If you don’t have small kids, you aren’t used to the constant noise and clutter (so maybe have a designated toy/mess area)
      Re: the dog. Make sure the dog has updated contact info on its collar. Also, if ILs aren’t used to dogs, maybe ask them to be mindful of shutting gates, doors, etc. We’ve almost lost dogs when relatives opened the door and they darted out.

    • Lawyer Mom of Four

      If I was the MIL here, my secret wish would be that you would make other arrangements for the dog.

      • Anonymous

        Why wouldn’t you just say so if you were in that situation?

        In any event, I think this is highly dependent on the individual and the dog. My parents LOVE when my dog comes home–I think more than when I do! I may be temporarily out of my house for renovations for a few weeks and my grumpy-old-man dad made a point to almost beg for my dog to come stay with them during that time.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I would advise against that. The move is going to be hard enough on the dog. Being away from its family for six weeks would make those issues worse and could bring out bad behavior previously not seen.

        This is a “know your MIL” situation though. Mine would steal my dog in a heartbeat.

        • Rosalita

          +1. My MIL calls our dog her “grand-dog” and loves it with all her heart.

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        A coworker of mine actually recently “lost custody” of her dog to her mother in this exact same scenario – mom was so happy with the dog (and the dog was so happy at mom’s) that when my coworker and her family moved into their new house, doggy stayed behind.

    • new york associate

      I’d plan activities to get you guys out of the house – a weekend trip to see friends, a Sunday day trip, etc. – just to give you all some respite. No matter how good the relationship is, your in-laws will probably appreciate some time to have the house to themselves, and you guys will appreciate the nuclear family time! Good luck.

  6. Interview help!

    Does anyone have tips for preparing for a final interview where I’ll be meeting 14 different people in one day (yikes)? It’s for a job I really really want in an industry where I have not previously worked and the position is a little above entry level. Several of the people I’ll be meeting with are managers, a few are director-level, and one is from HR. I’m not sure if I’m being taken to lunch or not. Plus, it might snow (and I’ll be taking public transit/walking there). Does anyone have any advice for me?? TIA!

    • Kontraktor

      Wear shoes that are comfortable to walk in. Doesn’t need to be flats, but definitely not your fussiest, ‘for looks only’ pair of heels. Same goes for clothes; I would wear something you feel good moving around in that isn’t too fussy where you will be constantly adjusting, unbuttoning, etc. as you sit down and get up. I’d bring a larger tote bag that you can put everything you need in (all your papers, notebooks, cards, pens, etc.) so that way you aren’t constantly gathering all your personal items and scrambling, you just have everything in your large tote and can easily continue to add more papers/stuff as you meet people.

      If you are commuting, a couple options. Commute in low profile flats and stick into the large tote bag before you enter the office. If you need boots, I’d bring a nice plastic bag (think like a BR plastic shopping bag or a plain canvas tote), switch into your nice shoes before heading into the office, put the boots in the bag, and ask the receptionist when you get in if there is a closet you might store your coat and snow boots and then just hand her the bag of shoes. You could also do this, but take a cab on the way there so you feel less stressed about arriving rumpled/dirty and then public transit home.

      Practice your ‘schpeal’ so that you get comfortable retelling it in a consistent way. You will obviously get a lof of the same, high level questions, I think it sounds better to have a smooth response you’ve practiced multiple times that comes out as smoothly the 1st time of the day as the 15th time. I might also have a couple of different points I’d want to rehearse for people at the manager level vs. peer level, but the point is to have some pre-defined answers to the super common questions you feel comfortable spouting off so you don’t feel shaky for the first 5 people, okay for the next 5, and by the final 5 you feel great, but you haven’t put your best foot forward for the first 10.

    • Interview help!

      Thanks for the advice so far, ladies! It’s already really helpful. I think I have to wear flats (brand-new professional-looking ones) because of the walk and because my suit pants are at a better length for flats. If it’s really bad weather, I’ll consider a cab or wearing boots. One other question I just thought of – should I e-mail a thank-you to everyone I interview with personally, even those at the highest levels?

      • hoola hoopa

        Definitely!

        Also thank the admin who sets everything up, assuming that you have contact with them. I used to work for someone who specifically asked the support staff how they were treated by perspective hires. Being gracious (or not!) to those “below” them on the org chart was make or break for many candidates.

        • Law Firm Recruiter

          This 1000+. Great advice. I always ask our receptionist and my assistant how a candidate behaved toward them. I’ve worked at several big firms and for some of them, less than nice behavior toward the receptionist and my department would be a deal killer in most cases. Note that I also frequently ask candidates how our receptionist and my staff are, so it cuts both ways.

      • rosie

        I would, and I think that’s where the suggestion to write down random notes is helpful. It will be hard to keep everyone straight, so if you can just jot down a few words about each person in between interviews, that will help you personalize your thank you emails.

    • BB

      LinkedIn stalk all the people you’re meeting with beforehand, so you know their background. It also helps with small talk: “So where are you from?” (asked with full knowledge that they are from near my hometown and I can strike up a conversation) :)

      • TO Lawyer

        This with the caveat of pretending not to know the answers. I had a co-counsel once recite some background facts about me on a call and I was SO creeped out because he had clearly looked me up.

        • S in Chicago

          I had someone be open that they had read LinkedIn and recite some items I had up there (related to a hobby), and it was still creepy. I think your time is better spent researching the company. Knowing facts about someone and then using stilted conversation to steer to a commonality comes across as stalker-like.

      • Nutshell

        Also, be sure to change your settings so that LI only shows you as anonymous when viewing profiles (this is not the default).

    • MJ

      I’ve been to a lot of “super-days” in my time. A few tips

      –Keep a granola bar/protein bar and a diet coke in your bag. Really. It’s hard to be “on” for that long, and you may need to nip to the loo for a recharge. For reals. It’s easy to ask for water but awkward to ask for coffee. Diet coke in the loo in a pinch.

      Also, don’t be afraid to ask for bathroom breaks or a glass of water (that’s a lot of talking), and the other folks won’t know you’ve had five interviews back to back….and there hasn’t been a good time to run to the ladies.

      Have more anecdotes than normal prepared bc people will compare and you will run out of fresh material.

      Be careful to be “too enthusiastic” about one area of the company or function, lest you offend a person you meet later or they compare notes…be “equally enthusiastic” if you don’t know what exact role you might get hired into. Or, at the very least, express a preference, quickly followed by, “but I’m flexible and ready to learn.”

      Cosign the “pad of paper”/get business cards/take notes when you have a break–it becomes a huge blur. Even go so far as write down physical traits like “Jill – blonde lady wearing blue blouse” or “Fred –brown haired guy with striped tie”) because if you get the job, you will need to connect names to faces (and that can blur too when you meet so many folks). Personally, this was a real problem for me when I interviewed for banking, because it was all white guys that pretty much fit a mold….but I digress.

      Keep an extra pair of nylons in your purse if you are wearing a skirt suit…that’s the only thing you can’t fake.

      Be sure to go to the bathroom after lunch to make sure you don’t have lettuce in your teeth or whatnot.

      Know that you can do it! Good luck.

      Oh–stash your commuting boots/warm coat with the receptionist–don’t schlep all that all day.

    • Interview help!

      Thank you so much, ladies. This is all very helpful! Let the LinkedIn stalking commence…

  7. EB0220

    Quick poll: Do you think it would be better to move in the third trimester of pregnancy (with attendant doctor switching hassles) or with a newborn (hassles self-explanatory!)? The move is to a different, but close city (about 3 hrs away from our current city).

    • Diana Barry

      During pregnancy for sure, unless you have a super high-risk pregnancy.

      • kjoirishlastname

        +1. If your pregnancy is not complicated, move while you’re preggo.

      • In Rem

        I moved halfway across the country in my third trimester and it was fine. Finding a new doctor was easy; driving a long way while having to stop every couple of hours to pee was a pain, though.

    • Lyssa

      I’d say during pregnancy. Changing doctors would be a hassle, sure, but you can do your research and maybe even meet with a few before hand, so you’re comfortable. Even with a pretty calm baby and both me and my husband at home, we had an extremely difficult time getting anything done with a newborn around, so I would not want to try to get things packed and organized enough for a move post-baby.

      (Also, I assume that you’ll have someone who can pitch in for the physical labor parts of the move – if you’re as big as a house at the time, you’ll be able to get away with doing very little :)

    • EB0220

      Not currently high-risk, although I do have a thyroid issue so there is an endocrinologist involved as well as an OB.

    • anon-oh-no

      i did this. it was not that difficult. even the switching drs part. but moving while i was on leave with my first born would have been a nightmare.

    • Sarabeth

      While pregnant for sure. I did it, it was not too bad. But hire lots of help.

    • hellskitchen

      I moved cities with a 4 month old and it was not easy even with three adults to coordinate everything. I’d move while you were preggo – yes it means switching doctors for you but on the plus side, you won’t have to switch your pediatrician, which is annoying to do when you need to see them every week or two in the first couple of months.

    • Anonymous

      I moved to a city 3 hours away with a 2 month old. Everything went very smoothly, but maybe that’s because my husband took the entire month of our move off from work!

  8. GRE Prep

    I know most of you ladies are lawyers, but does anyone have any recommendations for GRE prep materials? 2yrs post grad and I’ve finally decided I need to bit the bullet and get on this already. If there are any books I can get for my Kindle, that would probably be ideal since I’ll do most of my prep on my commute to/from work. Thanks!

    • gouda

      Not sure what you’re planning, but not all fields look at the GRE general. In my field (one of the hard sciences) the subject test is extremely important but I don’t think anyone looks at the general. (Needless to say, I can speak only about my small part of the academic universe – not the entire cosmos.)

      • GRE Prep

        The programs I’m looking at are in the social sciences and require the general GRE.

    • Ellen

      There is a BARONS on line prep that Alan had on my MacBook air that he was useing when he was studying for the MBA school, but when he did NOT get in, he just left it. I told my dad about that and dad deleted it from my computer b/c it was takeing up alot of room and I only had a small memory — b/c it is a new drive that is VERY fast, but small. Not sure if this help’s.

      Mason is getting very grabbey. He is defineitely doeing something with Lynn after work, and I see him with his hand’s on her tuchus. I wonder if, as his SUPERVISOR, that I need to tell him NOT to be grabbey at work. I know she does NOT do work for him, but I do NOT want to get into an FMLA issue where he get’s the firm into troubel for haveing sex with her and then she get’s mad and sue’s the firm b/c he will NOT marry her.

      How does the hive deal with sexueal issue’s at work? Should he be allowed to do anything with her b/c they both work here. It is a small LLC (onley 30 peeople total), so I do NOT want Mason to cause troubel and then have the manageing partner blame me for not preventing them from haveing sex. At a MINIMUMUM, I think he need’s to keep his hand’s to himself at work, and NOT touch her tuchus. Am I on the right track? Any thought’s from the HIVE? HELP! I am not use to beeing a manager! FOOEY!

    • Anonymous

      I love, love, love this book – http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Words-Philip-Geer-Ed-M/dp/1438002211 – When I took the GRE with just Kaplan, I got a 660 verbal. When I took it again five years later and used this book as well as Kaplan, I got a 790 (99.9+ percentile). While things I did in the intervening five years (going to law school and taking some Latin classes) helped, I attribute most of the score increase to this book. It looks like it is available on Kindle. As far as the math section goes, I only used Kaplan and did just ok (50ish percentile) both times (although I also didn’t take a single math class in college).

    • LizNYC

      When I took the GRE (goodness, it was a decade ago), I got either a Kaplan book or a Princeton Review book from the bookstore and just practiced every night. I was particularly weak in math, since I didn’t have to take it in college (yay for writing-centric majors!). I think I did this for about two months every evening. I also did a sample test, though not all in one shot, from the book. The hardest part for me about the test was, since it’s computerized, you couldn’t go back to questions you weren’t sure about. Being a child of fill in the bubble tests, I was used to “skip and come back.” YMMV.

    • hoola hoopa

      I used a Kaplan book that had been handed down a couple of times. I found it very helpful. I studied math in college, so my math study was mostly reviewing the lower-level stuff that the test uses. The vocabulary list in the book was immensely helpful. I made a flashcard for every single word – even the words I “knew” because the test really requires you to recall the dictionary definition – and carried them with me everywhere. I lived and breathed those vocab flashcards, and it really paid off. Many of them were on my exam. The online practice exams that came with the book were extremely helpful as well. I felt that part of the test was learning how to take the test. GL!

    • Anonattorney

      My husband used the online Kaplan program and loved it. It’s much cheaper than a live class and you can do it entirely on your own time.

    • locomotive

      I used a standard Barrons and Cracking the GRE book. They were both helpful – by far the most important part is vocab. Memorize your butt off – I feel like there is really no other way to get around the verbal portion other than beefing up on the tested vocab (even if you forget it all afterwards). I am more quantitively inclined, so reviewing the math principles needed and being careful was sufficient, but I spent a lot of effort memorizing relevant vocab for the verbal portion.

    • Gauss

      I used Kaplan or Princeton Review books (can’t remember which, it’s been a while). I was applying to Math graduate schools, so I had to take both the Math and the general GRE. Funny thing is, though… I did very well in Math, of course, but also ridiculously well on the Verbal part of the general GRE (99%, I think), and several admissions people told me that my GRE score was a big part of my getting in – because everybody who was applying got very good Math scores, but not everybody did so well on the Verbal part. English is not my first language, so I am still somewhat proud of this rather pointless achievement.

      Good luck with your studying and tests!

  9. Lyssa

    I’ve actually been eyeing these as something fun and statement jewelry-like that I could still wear around my 1 year old. I miss my fun, dangly earrings for casual wear! Even though they’re not that much, I’m trying to save now, so I haven’t bought them, but now that they have Kat’s blessing . . .

  10. thank-you gift

    Hitting up the hive for this one. A little convoluted, but not overly so:

    I am on the board for a charitable organization that has a fairly large chunk of money that we need to do something with. Without going into details, we have CDs that are maturing that we need to figure out if we want to reroll or cash out. ALong with other monetary assets.

    We have been talking with some investment brokerage firms about our portfolio options, and after interviewing one or two more, we’ll make a decision with what firm to go with. We are not a finance organization at all, so someone else managing our money is what we need to do.

    My family has a friend who owns a firm that does just this. He and his associate drove 3+ hours to meet us for lunch and to talk about some of our options. He is nearing retirement, and his associate (and one other) would be the business-folk who would handle our operational needs. Despite our hosting them and basically getting *some* advice for “free”, he insisted on paying for lunch for the 5 board members in attendance. This was shocking to us, as we had fully intended to pay.

    Nevertheless. He is a dear family friend and I feel that what they did was probably a little out of the ordinary (I could be wrong–maybe they do this all the time). What is an appropriate thank-you for this visit? Handwritten note to each of them for their time, obviously, but I feel like maybe something else might be nice?

    Thoughts?

    • Anne Shirley

      Give them your business? That’s what they want. If you can’t do that, I’d write a nice email thanking them for their time and saying you’ll be sure to refer anyone else to them that you think would be a good fit. You are the potential client/ to me obviously they would pay.

      • January

        Agreed – if it eases your mind any, I am certain that they will write this off as a business expense in some manner. I also would have expected them to pay since they are trying to sell you on their services.

      • Olivia Pope

        I agree. Spending money during a pitch to a potential client is marketing. And good marketing at that!

      • Jules

        +2, it’s a business development expense for them. And you’ve probably already considered this, but if your board needs to vote on whether to put your money with these folks, you probably should recuse yourself give the closeness of the relationship with your family friend. This may not be a strict legal requirement but it will avoid any appearance of favoritism. As both a lawyer and a non-profit Board member, I’d also recommend you interview at least one other potential investment advisor before making a decision.

  11. watch batteries

    I currently have a drawer full of watches that need new batteries. When I lived in the ‘burbs I always just took them to a jeweler in the mall who did the work while I shopped, any recs for where to take them in NYC and ballpark of what it’ll cost?

    • Jules

      I have a lot of watches (mostly cheap ones, so I can have, oh, one with a purple and black Pucci-like print, one that is a vintage-looking sparkly marcasite, a blue one with tiny little dots and, um, three different red bangles). I buy the batteries at the hardware store for under $3 and just replace them myself. Take the back off one of your watches — I use the tiny little screwdriver from an eyeglass repair kit — then pop out the battery and look at it to see the type, or take it to a hardware store and they can match it for you. Chances are all of the watches use the same style of tiny little batteries and you can just buy a bunch at the same time.

      • Aggie

        This. Try it on one of your less expensive watches if you are nervous. Once you do one, it is a piece of cake. I once bought every style of watch batter at Walgreens only to find that all my watches take the same battery.

        One tip, I replace my batteries inside a casserole dish. That way if there are any screws or small pieces involved they will all stay in one place.

    • Law Firm Recruiter

      If you’re in midtown near Lexington there’s a place on Lex between 51st and 52nd or 50th and 51st on the east side of Lex. They changed my cheap watch’s battery more than once when I worked over there. I probably wouldn’t have left my good watch there but it was fine for the cheap one.

      • tesyaa

        I was going to say, any cheap jeweler can replace a battery. I am not sure, but I almost want to say I had one replaced in a jewelry “store” in the subterranean subway stop/”mall” underneath Rockefeller Center. This was a long time ago and it might have been at some other jewelry kiosk.

    • SC

      I’m pretty sure that my husband once had a watch repaired at a jewelry repair counter in Macy’s. We dropped it off, did some shopping, and picked it up about an hour later – closest thing to the watch repair kiosks you find in suburban malls.

  12. crock pot

    For you crock pot cookers, do you leave it unattended? Like for hours when you’re at work, etc? I am having visions of coming home to a fire or something. I just want to come home to dinner.

    • GlobalEmily

      I love my crockpot, use it at least a few times a week, and have zero qualms about leaving it on while I’m at work all day (usually 12 hours). I have one that has a timer so you can program it to be on high or low for a set amount of time. Once it reaches the end of the time it turns to warm setting which just keeps the food from cooling. This year they are launching a crockpot that you can control remotely via your smartphone so if you’re really nervous you could wait until that version hits the market.

      • Olivia Pope

        Remote crock pot! That is amazing! I would love that for dishes that don’t need to cook the entire time that I am at work.

        I also have no qualms about leaving a crock pot on all day. Unlike my space heater, which I turn off and unplug when I’m not using it.

        • Anonattorney

          I got freaked out about heating pads when I read that an elderly woman died from a fire started by her heating pad while she slept. I used to leave them on (but on a timer) when I went to sleep if I had back issues or cramps, but now I turn off and unplug.

          • Wildkitten

            I think old heating pads and electric blankets were far more dangerous than today’s versions.

    • KS IT Chick

      Yes, I do, all the time. I have a Hamilton Beach that my husband bought from Home Shopping Network that is programmable to change temperature settings after a certain amount of time. That helps keep the food at a specific state of doneness, so that the roast or whatever doesn’t dry out or turn to mush.

      I have never heard of a fire started by a slow cooker. I’ve heard of them giving out and shutting off so that the food didn’t cook and got spoiled sitting at room temperature for hours, but they tend to be designed as fail-safe (instead of fail-unsafe) devices. If the heating element got wet & shorted, I could see how it might cause one, but even then, I would expect it to just die rather than sparking & catching fire.

      If you’re not comfortable with the idea of leaving a slow cooker going in your kitchen, do you have an outdoor location you could plug it in at? I have on acquaintance who puts hers on the deck during the summer, to keep it from heating up the kitchen.

    • Coach Laura

      Yes, I do leave my crockpot unattended for 10+ hours normallsy. I do make sure that it’s not close to anything and when I got a new one I put it on top of my cooktop until I was sure it didn’t get too hot. But I’ve read a lot of cooking blogs and crockpot blogs and have never heard of a fire caused by one.

      I’ve heard of people who were worried about leaving it on and so they leave it on a porch or in a garage to minimize damage if it were to catch on fire.

    • Anonattorney

      Isn’t the whole point of the crockpot to leave it unattended? I’m honestly not trying to be snarky, I’m just surprised that this would even be a concern. Am I missing something?

      • zora

        I think the issue is just that the teaching to Always Turn Everything Off before leaving a room runs deep in some of us ;o)

      • crock pot

        I am used to not paying attention to it when I work from home (so not like active cooking, like sautéing something). But I’ve never abandoned ship. I will give it a try.

      • Rosalita

        Yes. Every day there are thousands of people who have left their crock pot on while they are at work. And we have never heard of a crock pot causing a fire.

    • BB

      I have one with a silver metal outer shell which looks real pretty but gets hotter than other models I’ve had. I usually put it on the counter and just make sure nothing is around it. It’s more of a “just in case” thing though. I don’t think it gets hot enough to burn anything. It mildly hurts if I touch the outside while it’s on “high.”

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Mine works on a timer and automatically shuts itself off. After testing it out a few times on the weekends (when I was leaving it unattended for no more than an hour or two and be reassured that it wouldn’t blow up my house), I’m comfortable that the timer works and will leave it unattended all day now.

    • Monte

      Never. I use it either on the weekends or overnight (and then bring it to lunch the following day). I have an unpredictable work schedule and wouldn’t leave an appliance on while I am away from home. I know people do it, but I won’t. If I had one with a timer, I would consider it.

  13. Anon - Career change advice

    TJ, ladies. Just want to see how this sounds to other career gals.
    So, I am not a 20-something. In fact, I will turn 42 in a few short months. Have worked in biglaw for 8.5 years and I am so burnt out and generally dissatisfied with this career. Really, at this point the only good thing about my job is the pay. I have a family and young kids, 1st grade and under. I have really been thinking about a career change of going into medical field, PA (physician assistant). My pre-law-school days did relate to science and medicine, but still… Has anyone here made such a drastic career move?

    • Anonymous

      My husband is doing the same transition: same age, same age kids, going from architect to medical lab tech.

      He is hesitant about being a desirable candidate at the age he completes, but speaking with the hiring supervisors at a couple of labs has made it sound like any ageism would actually be to the benefit of the older candidate. I’m not sure how that would hold for a PA, which is probably seen as more of a physical endurance position.

      Plan on school being your full time job, plus some. Arrange and budget for full-time childcare. Develop a plan with your spouse for weekend and evening study time. Consider waiting until your youngest is in school, which is when it gets a lot easier to schedule, according to other return-to-school parents. We tried off-set schedules when he went to school after I came home from work and it was not good for us, our family, or our marriage.

      Informational interview and reflect on yourself. Repeat. Weigh debt from school/childcare against future earnings. Make sure this is really what you want.

      • Anonymous

        Oh, and you probably already realize this but you’ll most likely have to (re)take the undergraduate-level courses required for the professional program. Even if you had them in undergrad, the programs to which you would be applying probably only credit anything within 7 years. So add ~2 yrs of pre-reqs to the professional program duration.

        My husband has been taking most of his pre-reqs through the community college, which is perfect. It’s incredibly inexpensive and very convenient scheduling for “non-traditional” students. The class size is much smaller, too. His biology class had 24 students and cost a fraction of my college lecture which had 10x as many students! He has really appreciated having mostly classmates who are also taking classes between jobs and family, so they just sit down and get the assignment done rather than flirting and socializing (which is great when that’s part of the reason you’re at college when you’re 19, but obnoxious when you’re in your 40’s and need to pick the kids up from daycare).

        • Career change advice OP

          Thank you, Anonymous! This is very, very helpful. Yes, a LOT to think about and consider! My youngest starts K this fall, so childcare expenses will definitely go down. I am going to try to shadow a PA next month when there should be downtime at work.

    • AIMS

      Take this with a grain of salt. From the PA’s I know, it can be a very frustrating position because you have all the responsibilities of a doctor but not the same prestige and, importantly, respect. I am also assuming you will have to go back to school for this, that this isn’t something you’re already qualified to do pre-law school. Both of those transitions can be tough. I would make it a point to talk to a LOT of PA’s before deciding to do this.

      Have you considered just leaving Big Law? There’s a lot you can do with a law degree that you may find fulfilling. Or maybe just switching legal fields would help.

      • Career change advice OP

        Thanks, AIMS! Great point on switching legal fields and/or leaving Big Law. I have started looking around, but it seems that with 8.5 years in my field I am so “typecast.” I would appreciate any advice on that also. And non-firm jobs just don’t exist in my field where we live now (moving is not an option because of DH’s job). Sigh.

        • AIMS

          Can you switch practice areas? There’s a world of difference between say, M&A and T&E or Matrimonials. Or go in-house? Switch to a gov’t position? Run for public office? Become a judge? Legislative counsel? Teach?

          I remember seeing a book (or several) called Things to do With a Law Degree – maybe check that out for ideas?

        • preg 3L

          This is a little out there, but have you considered working for an online company, doing almost in-house legal work remotely? It sounds like you should look into non-big-law legal jobs before switching careers entirely. Could you work as a law professor? Could you work as a substitute teacher? Could you do fundraising for a local non profit? If you’re considering going back to school and taking years of no income, there might be other options to have a relatively enjoyable career other than becoming a PA. But of course, ymmv with all of these suggestions. I’m just trying to think of other options. If you want to go back to school, do it! The biggest challenge I see you facing is the huge hit you’ll take in terms of prestige. Good luck!

    • Anon

      I can think of one person (not law, but finance) who went back to a school with a masters of nursing program and went into nursing. I am not sure how that compares to being a PA or a nurse practitioner, but it did seem to be a quick transition (and we all want to follow her).

      If I win the lottery, I’d like to give it a try (or auditing med school, which I’m sure isn’t allowed unless you donate a building or something), but I’m the breadwinner, so I get to quit when all children are through school and my house is paid off. But I feel the same tug.

  14. Purse Purchase Q

    I want to buy a bag that is expensive (for me). The company has a website. Neiman’s carries it (but not in my city — but there is an outpost in my city where I could return it (is that a thing with pricey bags?) also (perhaps not all varieties). Finally, I go NY a couple of times a year for work and maybe the company has a store (or somewhere like Bergdorf’s has them).

    I feel like a total bumpkin here, but I’m not sure what would be best. Any recommendations for higher-dollar distance shopping?

    I’m used to Land’s End / J Crew / Talbots order & return smoothness. My “expensive” bag is a 10-year old bag I got at Marshall’s (which was good b/c we didn’t have a Nieman’s then and it was Marshall’s or nothing).

    [FWIW, I have been in the Neiman’s once and have never returned things. Have no idea if they still do cash / check / amex only, which used to keep me from ever shopping there.]

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