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Comments 198 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Belted Crew-Neck Midi Dress

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A woman wearing a dark purple midi dress with purple sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I am so here for “winter bloom,” a deep purple color that Ann Taylor is featuring this season. My favorite piece is this belted midi dress, which would look fabulous paired with a blazer for the office or with sparkly flats for the office holiday party.

There is a coordinating blazer available if you want to make a full suit, but I think I’d wear it with a tweed-y topper in black or chocolate brown. 

The dress is $169 full price at Ann Taylor — but now on sale for $90! — and comes in sizes 00-18 and 00P-16P. 

Sales of note for 4/17:

  • Nordstrom – Beauty savings event, up to 25% off – nice price on Black Honey
  • Ann Taylor – Cyber Spring! 50% off everything + free shipping
  • Boden – 25% off everything (thru Sun, then 15% off)
  • Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide — we have and love these sateen sheets
  • Evereve – 1000+ items on sale, including lots from Alex Mill, Michael Stars, Sanctuary, Rails, Xirena, and Z-Supply
  • Express – $29 dresses
  • J.Crew – 30% off all dresses
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything, and extra 50% off clearance
  • Lands' End – 50% off full price styles and 60% off all clearance and sale – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
  • Loft – Friends & Family event, 50% off entire purchase + free shipping
  • Macy's – 25% off already reduced prices + 15% off beauty & fragrance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Spring Sale Event – Buy More, save more! 10% off $250+, 15% off $500+, 20% off $750+, 25% off $1000+ (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off if you find any exclusions.)
  • Sephora – Spring sale! 20%, 15%, or 10% off depending on your membership tier; ends 4/20. Here's everything I recommend in the sale!
  • Talbots – Spring sale! 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns
  • TOCCIN – Use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!
  • Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!

198 Comments

  1. Son and DIL headed to New Zealand for their honeymoon in a few months, and for his upcoming birthday, he asked for pants that can go from hiking to dinner. I can remember seeing recs here for these types of pants, but did not note as my husband is strictly a chinos guy. Were they Lululemon? Athleta? Would appreciate any and all recommendations, the more specific the better. Thank you hive!

    1. Kuhl has several options that would work, look at the Revolvr or Rydr. My husband wears a lot of their pants to his jeans/smart casual job, but they are also good for hiking.

    2. My husband has Prana pants, which he most likely wore on our New Zealand honeymoon. The fabric is stretchy.

      1. +1. My husband’s Prana ‘stretch Zion’ fabric pants can go from business-casual office to emergency hike.

        1. My husband has these too. He’s probably had a pair for nearly 10 years, and they look basically new.

    3. Agree with Prana or Kuhl. Also, NZ’s pretty casual, so he won’t be out of place most places in hiking pants. (Also, unsolicited restaurant rec: Botswana Butchery in Queenstown is excellent. The Auckland location, while still good, was not as good)

    5. Not trying to deter you, but as an avid hiker, I want to point out that he may want to change after a long hike. The pants may get dirty/stinky.

      1. I took it to mean he wants one pair of pants that he could wear for either activity for the purposes of packing lighter, not that he’s necessarily going to go straight from a hike to a restaurant in them.

    7. If you want to go way into the rabbit hole, there’s a r\onebag on Reddit (ie a forum of people who travel with just a carry-on) that is full of very optimized opinions on this

    8. Duluth has a Flexpedition line that I like for women’s hiking pants. I often grab mine for weekend dinners or casual Fridays in the office. They have a bunch of different men’s styles in the same fabric.

    9. The people on the reddit r/onebag have very. very. many opinions about this, if you want to risk going too deep down the rabbit hole

    10. 5.11 options are great for durable hiking pants that can also be dressed up. I recommend their Fast-Tac Urban, Defender Flex, Apex, or Stretch Trail Cargo pants.

    11. DH has 3 pairs of the Wrangler Men’s Outdoor All Terrain Cargo Pant with UPF 50+ Protection from W@lmart. I absolutely hate cargo pants, but these are sleek and look great on him because the pockets don’t pouch out. He really likes them for casual dinners, casual work lunches, doing errands, and domestic and international travel because he can put his phone on one leg and wallet on another and they don’t look at all sloppy. I thought they did so well on a recent trip that I bought a pair for myself.

    12. Take a look at Stio! My husband wears them as work pants and to a wedding once (admittedly not my preferred option), but they are lightweight and great for hiking.

    14. OP here – you are all the best – thank you so much! Great variety of suggestions and price points and I am confident I will find the perfect option here. Very grateful for the leads – truly.

    15. My husband loves his Cactus supertrousers that he bought in New Zealand. My daughter even approves of them!

  2. this dress is lovely in the picture and i would look stumpy in it. this length is killer on me, so unflattering. waiting for long or short to come back to start wearing skirts and dresses again.

    1. Check the inseam; I’m short enough that some of these are long on me and actually make me look a bit taller. For the rest, I’ve wondered if it’s a cheap/easy fix or if it’s the sort of thing that wouldn’t be hemmed correctly these days.

    2. I like midi length and am short BUT I just ordered and returned a very similar dress to this one from Boden. I had to laugh at how bad it looked on me. I think midi lengths like this are easier in a different silhouette or a softer fabric. Something about this being structured really didn’t work(Zane boden has petites so mine was the Petite size version).

    3. I think A-line midis read frumpy on a lot of folks because the waist, length and degree of angle have to perfectly line up. I’d much rather see straighter silhouettes in this length.

    4. I never find this length flattering on me (very short-waisted and apple-shaped). It’s also another conservative/modest-adjacent style that I think is cute on the very young or the very thin, but makes me look like I’m going door knocking for my religious denomination or setting up with little pamphlets in a bus station.

  3. Did anyone else catch the northern lights last night?? It was so unexpectedly moving.

    2. Yes! DH, the kids, and I camped out in our driveway for a good half-hour or so. It was incredible. We were lucky to have a really clear, crisp night.

    3. Yes! I also found it very moving. I thought of the poster yesterday complaining about people who don’t make time for fun and joy in their lives, but I also think it’s important to experience awe. I’m probably the kind of person she’d complain about because I’m dealing with a lot of things in life that make it hard to do things like ski trips and go running, even though I used to love running. If I were talking to her, she’d probably just hear a lot of excuses, but I actually make a lot of time in my life to get outside and experience awe and beauty in nature, and that’s profoundly important to me in a way that compensates for things I used to do but can’t anymore. Life changes, and that’s okay.

      1. I agree with you 100%. Paying attention to nature, and things like the Northern lights that inspire awe, is really important to me. That brings more meaning to my life than having fun all the time. Different strokes! Recognizing where I’m at in my life is not making excuses; it’s living in the season I’m in. Spirituality and awe and beauty absolutely bring me joy!

        1. Same. My son spent his toddlerhood fascinated by the moon, and is now really into trees, lichen, and fungi and honestly, leaning into those obsessions have brought me so much joy. I travel a lot and am always sending photos home of a “really good tree” and have made everyone marvel at the photo of the amethyst deceiver (fungi) we found in the woods.

          1. That’s very cool! I love that you now have a tradition of sending really good tree photos.

            Both of my kids have always been into space things. The Northern lights felt … space-adjacent? Anyway, it’s cool to see that the things they loved when they were little are still important to them as a teen and tween.

          3. I love this. I came home from a work trip one day and my spouse said “I took a picture of a cool cloud for you,” and I felt very seen and loved.

      2. Yes, to me being in awe of everyday nature and other things around me is so important.

        That’s why I have all the apps on my phone:
        Aurora Forecast, eBird, Merlin Bird ID, PictureThis for plants, …

        And local history and geology, too! We live in an area of the US where several geological/ecological zones transition into other zones.
        Learning about the geo- and ecosystems and how it’s all connected to history (e.g. Natives, trade, settlers, development of transportation and industrialization) has been extremely rewarding. When we moved here from another country, we thought this was probably one of the most boring places there could be, as it lacks the spectacular national parks, mountains or beaches of other regions – but we’ve found quite the opposite.

    4. Me!

      I’ve seen them before in my Indiana town last winter, but not as intense as yesterday night. Incredible, and I’m still excited about it.

    5. I can’t see them! I took picture on my phone and they were incredible but to my naked eye it looked like nothing. Well, not nothing, a slightly bright sky, but no vivid colors. Apparently this is a problem that a reasonable percentage of people have. :(

  4. How often should I expect clothing to come back from the dry cleaner with damage? My last two orders came back with new stains on a dress and snags in a jardigan.

    1. I think neither of those things should be happening (they’re not side effects of the dry cleaning process; they’re just needless damage).

    2. The cleaner should be making you whole for this. I worked the counter at a local chain during college and one of my responsibilities was to look over inbound items for damage or stains so we could fix or treat it, and then to look over cleaned items to confirm there were no unfixed or untreated issues before it went back to the customer. If we caused damage, we would find the cost of a comparable item and provide that as reimbursement to the customer along with their damaged item (and we would not charge them for the cleaning of that item).

    4. never or seldom. The only thing I’ve experienced is a cracked bttn on men’s shirts from repeated pressing.

      1. This. And, in the case of a cracked button (sometimes on cardigans), my cleaner normally calls and offers to fix it. They will also call if they determine the garment cannot be safely cleaned and asked me if I want to roll the dice.

        1. My cleaner even replaced a button without asking! It was cracked when I took it to the cleaners, it came back with a new one.

    5. Never, although mistakes can happen. If it happens more than once a year I’d find a new cleaners.

  5. Do you ever feel like people purposely mess things up when you refuse to spoon feed them?

    I have a JR who needs to make come company materials, I told him use company colors (with link to the color codes etc) and photos we own (with link to the photos and licensing file) but otherwise use your creativity. No company colors, no owned photos. The only two constraints I gave were not followed.

      1. It seems mean to assume everyone around me is stupid? These are adults with degrees, from before the days of AI so even cheating required a bit of intelligence.

        1. I think it’s more carelessness. People want to put in the absolute minimum effort and see if they can get away with it.

        3. I think of “stupidity” in this sense as a tongue-in-cheek cover group for lots of forms of bad judgment.

          I’ve actually had a very similar situation with a jr. designer – when I asked why they hadn’t used the brand guidelines, they told me with great sincerity that they wanted to “go above and beyond” by, uh, proposing an entirely new visual direction for the product. I tell myself I surely never had such bad judgment, but I’m fairly sure my first boss might disagree. Requesting the work be redone, with the context “I can’t bring this to the marketing team – it’ll be rejected out of hand because XYZ” + a conversation giving more explanation about how a redesign of that scope would actually happen solved the problem. I’m not saying invest infinite time and energy in these conversations, but a little bit of coaching about these things is part of the deal of working with juniors. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from judgment.

    3. That is spoon feeding. You gave him clear instructions and delivered all necessary information. TBH any supervisor I’ve ever had would have expected me to figure out the colors on my own.

    4. In terms of what you do next, does it matter if it was incompetence or malice?

      If this is someone you should be able to just send work to and get it back from, you just send it back with “I need something compatible with CompanyDesignGuidelines; can you get me that by tomorrow EOD”; or loop in their manager, or whatever your normal escalation pattern is.

      If this is someone who’s work *you* are supposed to be supervising, ask them what happened. Manage their performance accordingly going forward. If they are intentionally sabotaging assignments or simply entirely incompetent, you’ll keep having problems like this and you’ll eventually fire them; if it was a 1-time error of judgment, their work will be better in the future, and a quick “Hey, what’s happened here? I need you to redo this with our official palette and licensed photos” conversation is a very small price to pay for a more competent report going forward and also, is your job.

    5. It happens. Send them back and tell them to add pieces they missed. Sometimes for junior staff you need to repeat yourself over and over again. That’s part of your job.

    6. Some people are more about content and less about details. Just send a request to re-edit the aesthetic pieces.

      1. Owned photos are definitely part of the content! It’s not just aesthetics; this person failed the assignment.

    7. You gave him all the information I needed. I would
      be having a very direct conversation about this.

      1. This sounds like the first draft–be direct all you want, but feedback to add XYZ is probably a more useful expenditure of energy.

  6. My winter funeral dress is, sadly, too tight. Is it OK to wear black pants and a black top or sweater? It’s a Catholic mass, which somehow feels more formal than the services I typically attend. I will also be at the graveyard service and don’t want to freeze.

    2. Yes, black pants and a dark top is okay. It sounds like your actual visible outfit will be whatever coat you are wearing. Remember to wear shoes that won’t sink into the grass.

    5. I went to a Catholic mass/funeral during the work day a few years ago. I wore a dark (pant) suit to work that day and it was fine.

    6. Yes, as long as you are not immediate family (wife or daughter). And yes, even then if the weather is particularly nasty.

      1. If you’re immediate family, you can wear a clown suit if that’s what seems right to you. The rules get less strict, not more strict, the closer you are to the loss.

        1. Maybe in your family. If I had worn pants to my father’s funeral, my stepmother would be talking about it for a decade (and my sister – who loves me – would have been offering me alternate clothes).

          1. Your stepmother sounds like a see you next Tuesday, so I personally would not be paying her any mind.

          2. I saw no reason to upset a genuinely devastated woman who had just watched her husband die a slow, agonizing death by displaying what she would have perceived as disrespectful behavior at said husband’s funeral. She did not care what people more removed wore (although would have looked askance at bright colors) but it mattered to her that her daughters and stepdaughters showed up “appropriately” dressed. And to a conservative Southern woman, that means a black or dark grey dress for women in the family.

            But heaven forbid we be sensitive to people’s cultural traditions and feelings.

            All that said – OP, black pants and muted sweater are perfect fine for most attendees at Catholic funerals.

          3. This can identify readers if you know me but my stepbrother tried to police what I wore to my fathers funeral and I no longer speak to him.

        2. I’ve never heard this but it kind of makes sense in a “the immediate family gets a pass on stuff like this” kind of way. Looking at my brother who wore shorts to my parents’ funerals…

        3. Disagree. Immediate family is usually more strict, just like at a wedding or baptism or any other big life event.

        1. “You should wear a dress” to a conservative religious ceremony isn’t a “fake rule.”

          1. Maybe this is regional; but I am Catholic (regularly practicing) and do not feel particularly obliged to wear a dress (vs. nice pants) to Catholic weddings/funerals/etc. If someone were asking me for advice on what to wear to a function like that, I’d tell them aim for knee-length or longer; and at least a little sleeve; but not to worry about dress vs. trousers

            (although, life happens and I’ve ended up at Mass in shorts. In ski pants. With a backpack of camping gear. In sweatpants because I spilled a beer on my “saved for Sunday” clean clothes while unpacking. I wouldn’t tell someone to *plan* on doing that and obvi not for a funeral; but if they were freaking out and wondering if they did something terribly disrespectful, I guarantee you someone’s done worse).

  7. For several years I was getting skin checks done at a free clinic where I qualified based on my unmet high deductible. A dermatologist always did the skin check. Before that when I had low deductible insurance, I always saw a dermatologist for skin checks.

    But now that I have better insurance coverage again, I’m trying to schedule a skin check with a dermatologist using insurance, but I can only find appts with a PA. The idea seems to be that the PA does the skin check and then refers to the MD for a spot check appt. only if they see anything concerning. This makes me a little nervous because I know people who have had things missed till it was too late, and because I am high risk personally. It feels backwards to me in the sense that I’d rather the most educated person be assessing for diagnosis, whereas I’m perfectly comfortable with a more narrowly trained person doing procedures once we know what we’re dealing with. But if this is how things are done now, maybe PAs have all the expertise they need, or maybe they are actually extra cautious. So is this just normal now, and is it totally okay?

    2. I see the PA at the derm and am referred to the MD as needed. My PA is complete and through in her exam and I do trust her review.

    3. I go to a derm, she pretty much only specializes in health issues and will refuse aesthetic bookings. She’s a delight when she does my cancer checks and tells me what each mark is, I even recently learned that some of the moles I’ve had my ‘whole life’ actually appear in toddlers, so it’s rather the whole life I remember.

    4. If this PA is at a dermatologist office, I would personally be okay with it. If a non-skin-specialty PA, then no, I want a specialist to look me over.

    5. There are things I definitely want an MD for and things I’m fine with a PA for, and this is one of them. And for what’s it’s worth, just as anecdata, the skin checks I’ve had with an MD felt way more perfunctory than the ones with PAs, and I’m glad I’ve moved and don’t have to see him anymore (it was nearly impossible to get appointments with derms that took insurance in my last city, with 12+ month waits so I couldn’t easily switch).

    7. Almost none of my healthcare is performed by a doctor anymore. That’s just the model we are moving towards in the US.

      Even if you find a dermatologist to take the appointment, insurance may not cover it since it will be billed out a higher rate.

    9. PAs and NPs are not as accurate at diagnosing skin cancer. If you can find an MD to do it, I would! Our healthcare system is evolving into a two tiered system, those who can find and pay for a physician, and those who don’t know enough to insist on seeing someone with the highest level of training.

      https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6128496/

      “ Patients screened by a physician assistant were significantly less likely than those screened by a dermatologist to be diagnosed with melanoma in situ.”

    10. PA programs are 2-3 years long total (school and clinical training). Dermatologists do four years of medical school then three years of dermatology residency and some do a fellowship after that. The training is not comparable.

      1. I am normally all about using MDs/DOs for healthcare, but in a dermatology practice where a PA does skin checks regularly, that PA is likely better at it than the dermatologist. I go to a similar practice, and the PA is much more thorough and much less rushed than the dermatologist I used to see.

        To the OP, it is fine. Make sure to share info and ask questions about anything you’ve noticed, like a mole that has changed over time. If you have any concerns, you should be able to get a doctor’s opinion.

        1. It makes sense that if the PA has more time then at least they’ll take more time! The PA also has more years of experience.

          The free skin checks with the dermatologists were more thorough and less rushed than the dermatologists I saw previously with insurance, so I wonder if there is a reimbursement issue generally!

          1. The “free” dermatologist is probably stressed and seeing a huge number of patients who are uninsured and is constantly overbooked and behind.

            But what folks here don’t appreciate is that sometimes people are slow with their skin checks because they are inexperienced.

    11. Derms are among the most highly compensated specialists and it seems like they continue to push more and more of their specialty to APs (PAs and others). You go to a derm because of their training in that specialty. The advanced practitioners do not have that training and it is scary, to me, at least, how much responsibility they have. So, yes, it is common. But that doesn’t mean that you should accept it.

    12. I am also at high risk of skin cancer, and have had one melanoma and two pre-cancer spots removed. I would only see a derm I trust. Mine is attentive and methodical, and takes photos so she can compare year over year changes. I graduated to annual skin checks after a few years of quarterly and then biannual.
      I would not feel comfortable with a PA. I’ve probably had 20ish site biopsies over the last 15 years, and I want the derm to be able to take the biopsy right then if something looks concerning.
      Don’t settle.

    13. Well, if you are high risk than no – that is not good enough.
      But what do you actually mean by high risk?

      We have a family history of melanoma, and my risk is increased more by another medical conditions and an inherited cancer gene. So I see a dermatologist at the major academic hospital near me. She has a particular interest in skin cancer screening, and sees me every year. My sibling – who has already been diagnosed with an early melanoma, lives in NYC and goes to Sloan and is screened several times a year by the Derm that specializes in melanoma.

      So it depends on your situation. If you have a family history of the more benign types of skin cancer (squamous cell, basal cell), than maybe a PA who knows you well and sees you regularly may be ok. But honestly, since you can schedule these appointments a year in advance, why not just schedule with a real doctor, who definitely will be more experienced?

      If the person examining you is not using a dermatoscope, then they are not doing a good job.

      Ultimately, it is up to you to know your body the best, and to point out changes you notice.

      1. Thanks for the context. For me it’s family history of melanoma in addition to other skin cancers and personal history of a lot of bad sunburns in childhood, plus some immune factors. So not as high risk as what you are describing.

        I actually did schedule with a relevant dermatologist at the local hospital, but right before my appt, they let me know that I could either get a skin check with a PA or a spot check with a derm, but no skin check by a derm, so that took me by surprise. I will probably go ahead with the experienced PA for my appt, but try harder to find a dermatologist who offers skin checks for next time. And probably I should start using one of the apps for my own tracking again.

      2. And thanks for the tip about the dermatoscope. It’s been hit or miss in the past.

  8. Any recommendations for an individual executive compensation advisor in the Washington DC / DMV area? Thanks in advance!

  10. I remember in 2020, OG COVID-19 was killing so many people regularly. Some you could rationalize by age or comorbidities. But sometimes it took young adults in the prime of their lives, etc. Has there been any medical research since then that found other things on the eosinophils, cytochine storm, etc.? It was frustrating and scary at the time, but our schools closed for so long that I tried not to drown in the WFH mom home-schooling zoom tech support and chef life that I didn’t keep current on this and now that the disease has changed dramatically (it seems to me, a classics major), I’m not aware of the science even of what’s current.

    1. A lot of things changed. We have better respiratory support protocols, we have vaccines and better treatments, and it already wiped out a lot of the people who were the most genetically susceptible (where genetically susceptibility didn’t always mean poor health, but just previously benign genetic differences). It’s still contributing to increased mortality, partly because it’s a risk factor for post-infection cardiovascular complications, but this shows up more clearly in big data sets than on the individual level (where people may not even remember the mild head cold symptoms that happened weeks before the life threatening complication).

      1. And we just got used to it. People still draw the short straw, but it’s not news.

      2. That is not true.

        While the virus itself might have evolved to a more “milder” initial infection, coupled with most of us having developed some immunity through vaccination and/or infection, we know a lot more about the potential and real long-term effects that Covid can cause to the body. These are not mild, and repeated infections increase the risk for long-term damage that might go undetected until it isn’t. While I do not agree with any “Covid is the new HIV” rhetoric, statistics

        This includes cardiovascular sequelae (heart problems, microclots), neurological problems (brain fog, dysautonomia, loss of taste or smell – some of which might be linked to microclots) and immune dysregulation (e.g. reactivation of EBV, HPV, Tuberculosis have all been reported).

        I suggest following a couple of researchers on X/Twitter, who have either published on the topic itself, or provide summaries and highlight others’ findings:
        michael_hoerger, drseanmullen, kprather88, maolesen, furnesscolin, tmprowell
        There are also some people who look at population data from countries with public databases like Sweden and the UK, e.g. @tern on X.

        1. This sentence somehow disappeared:

          While I do not agree with any “Covid is the new HIV” rhetoric, studies show that some effects of an initially mild or even asymptomatic infection can be detected in blood, brain scans, and other parameters, and may manifest themselves only weeks or months after an infection.

          1. The fact that you feel you have to comment here says more about you than you think. If Covid research doesn’t interest you, feel free to scroll down.

            OP asked a question, and if that’s your response above, it lacked nuance and facts, which is why I responded.

    3. Yes! Tons! I’d suggest looking at sciencemag dot org for plain language writeups.

    4. It was so deadly in the beginning because it was a novel virus that humans had not developed any immunities to yet. I read that anyone alive during 1968 (such as me! as a toddler) got some immunity to the Hong Kong flu strain, because just being exposed to the strain while not getting sick built immunity.

      1. Different strains have also had different severities and different degrees of immune evasion.

    5. Also worth noting: early on when no one had much immunity at all, a huge worry was overwhelming the hospitals with everyone getting sick all at once. If it’s more or less level and present in the community people who get sick enough to need hospitalization are more likely to be able to get it. (There are plenty of other reasons one might not get the hospital care they need, but at least it’s not because there are too many sick people and not enough beds/nurses/equipment.)

      1. Yes. I think people forget the extent to which the goal that was set was for people to die gradually and not all at once. We’re doing a lot better now in terms of spreading out the deaths so the hospital isn’t hit all at once!

        We did not however do a great job expanding hospital capacity (or even replacing all the healthcare workers who died or burned out and quit), so a bad influenza wave happening at the same time as a new COVID strain wave could still strain capacity, but we’re hoping that doesn’t happen or that we get better leadership before it does.

  11. Gahhhhhhhhh – the Uniqlo “extra warm” heattech has been reformulated again and now it’s super duper thin. It used to be thicker and not see-through! And my old turtlenecks are now stretched out and don’t stay up. So ISO (still) a warm turtleneck (not mock neck) knit shirt in a cotton blend or synthetic (not wool, I can’t wear it against my skin) to wear under my wool sweaters (see above). TIA for any leads!!! Also thanks for all the tall recommendations, now I have a bunch of options to show my son. ;)

      1. I bought some this season from Costco and they are not soft and they are see through. I bought directly from 32 Degrees’ website last year and the quality was much softer and thicker.

    4. I like turtlenecks from Eddie Bauer, Lands End and JCrew (they have tissue ones). The tissue ones are very thin (but also very breatheable). They are not see through unless you get light colors. The Lands End ones are very thick. The EB ones are in the middle.

      The EB and LE ones come in talls for women.

  12. I have twins and they are currently applying to college and the next 2-5 months of uncertainty is making me anxious. Plus, I am feeling a twinge of sadness knowing that a year from now, both of them will be off at whatever colleges they go to (most likely a plane ride away). I feel like I am not as productive at work, I’m having trouble sleeping and I’m trying not to nag (reminding them of deadlines) or be weepy or anything but exuding calmness, but I’m suppressing a lot of words and feelings and probably drinking more wine than normal. Any advice for me on how to cope with the uncertainty and happiness (with a tinge of sadness)?

    1. Talk to your doctor about your anxiety. It’s a lot! It’s normal! But if you’re not sleeping suffering at work and turning to alcohol, Zoloft.

      1. +1 please consider a therapist and anxiety meds, drinking to cope is not normal or healthy.

        1. I appreciate you taking time to respond. I have thought of this, but I feel like if I told my GP that I need Zoloft because I am feeling anxious because my kids may or may not get accepted into their top choice colleges (or one will and the other won’t) is truly minimizing people who have anxiety for real reasons. My kids are privileged (they aren’t even applying for financial aid) and I am privileged and I totally admit that there’s no problem here – just normal life changes that I should be celebrating if anything.

          1. But honestly, most people do not get anxious, and find themselves on the verge of tears, and turn to drinking more alcohol when stressing about their kids …. who are already on the highway to success. That is what makes it worth talking about. Just a thought.

          2. Telling your GP you are having productivity and sleep issues and have started drinking more to cope won’t minimize others.

            That’s like saying you just have a mild case of strep throat and not full blown sepsis, so you are not going to ask for antibiotics.

    2. No but I am right there with you!!! It is TOUGH. My DD had her first interview the other day and I was a ball of nerves and couldn’t sleep at all the night before.

      1. OP here – glad to hear from another mom who can relate. I had the same experience!

    3. Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Podcast has been talking and writing a lot about this recently. I always tune out when she does since it’s not at all relevant to me, but you might find it helpful if her stuff clicks with you (I think she’s one of those people with a strong personality who grates on some people, but I like that she has a strong sense of self, even if she’s not like me). She calls it the open door stage of life instead of the empty nest, so you could search for posts or episodes about that.

      1. Sorry, the book is The Happiness Project and the podcast is Happier with Gretchen Rubin. I guess they just get stuck together in my head!

      2. It may not bother you that you are different from Rubin, but it does bother her, and frankly she doesn’t understand why you can’t be like her, which is the best way to be., or at least striving for it, though she acknowledges that you actually can’t. She wrote a whole book about this.

        2. I don’t feel this way at all. She has a whole book about the four tendencies, which I find useful, even though I have a different one from her. I find some things she says helpful and relatable, and other things not at all, which I either ignore or laugh at. I’m glad she’s not my mother, and we probably wouldn’t be friends we were in the same circles, but I do find her interesting and entertaining and I learn things from her. I don’t care what she thinks of me since we don’t actually know each other!

    4. Fellow twin mom here, and although my kids are still little I’m already dreading when they both leave for college at the some time. So I think you have every reason to be feeling sad. Not to mention that the college admissions process is super stressful, and you’re getting it x2! (And, you’re not even getting the benefits of applying what you learned from one child going through the process to the second child. Instead, you’re getting 2 stressed out kids probably amping each other up) So I don’t have any brilliant words to make it better, but I want to acknowledge that it’s legitimately hard. (I’m going through trying to move internationally, and am quite anxious about landing both kids in school mid-year, when we need 2! spots in one grade and most schools are full. I was feeling like, why can’t I handle this calmly, when a coworker of mine graciously pointed out that OF COURSE I was stressed – this is legit complicated, important, and difficult.)

    5. I am empathetic, truly. But I think you need someone to warn you that if their impression of their final year at home is that mom drank a lot, that’s going to color their adult relationship with you for years to come. Working your way away from that behavior will help you and them enter this next phase well.

          1. OP here – not sure if it matters, but I am not getting drunk or anything. I used to drink a glass maybe three times a month at social occasions/happy hour, but I am now sipping a glass of wine at home maybe 3 times a week, but never more than a cup at a time, typically when the twins are off at sports practice. Maybe it is problematic that I drink by myself when no one is around…

          2. You are very insightful OP. It is an emotional time. And yes, it is also more problematic that you are drinking from a cup – when no one else is around. I am proud of you for coming here to talk with us about it.

          3. FWIW, my alcohol consumption was higher (probably around 2-4 drinks per week) when my kids were very small, and went down a lot when they hit an easier phase (i.e., upper elementary school). I was able to dial it back without much trouble, and probably have 2-4 drinks per month at this point. I’m sure some Lovely Internet Person can find a chart that says that’s an alcohol problem, but my doctor disagrees.

          4. I think people are more concerned that she feels a need to hide her drinking. Drinking alone and hiding your drinking (feeling guilty about it?) are often signs of an underlying issue. There are safer and better long term ways to treat anxiety than alcohol.

    6. I am currently an empty nester, as my only child is a freshman in college. The transition was rougher than I had anticipated. What has worked for me (so far) is regular visits with my therapist, taking Pristiq (which also helps with menopause symptoms), and I unexpectedly got the opportunity to teach a class on the side, which has been a fun distraction.

      1. Thank you for posting. I may need to see a therapist. I have never heard of Pristiq but I will look into it. Yes, I probably need some additional distractions to keep myself busy for the next year or two (or 5).

    7. First step is to own your feelings. Your kids can sense your feelings and know that something is amiss; they might not exactly understand. There is nothing wrong with telling them how much you’re going to miss them, and you’re doing it because flying them nest is so important for their development.

      Second step is to address the stress of applications. I have a LOT of opinions on this. Biggest thing is to know that your kids will be at a good school next year. But you have to get there. The best thing you can do for them is to ensure that they have a solid set of “match” schools and at least two genuine safety schools that they like. (Safety means both almost certain to be admitted + financially affordable.)

      Kids go wrong when they apply to a slew of reach schools and don’t quite understand the statistics behind it. If you apply to 10 schools that all have a 10% acceptance rate, you don’t have a very good chance of being admitted to one. You don’t have a 65% chance of getting into at least one. A tiny cohort of students will get into most all of them; a slightly larger cohort will get into about half of them; most students will get into none of them.

      So drill the matches and safeties. If you’re posting on this board, if you care enough to shepherd your kids through the process, your kids are the types whose match/safety schools are still very good places to study.

      1. OP here. Thank you – this is great advice. My kids are applying broadly to reach, target and safety schools, but their main low target is our state’s flagship university, which is located close to us (only 20 mins. away) and would be their high school 2.0 (and everything they don’t like about the cliques, popular kids, etc. would be there since the flagship univ is excellent and way cheaper than a private college). So, they both very badly want to go to a private college on the opposite coast (different ones) and have applied early (one is doing EA and the other ED).

    8. My eldest is applying to college this year too and it is super stressful. I’m going through a lot of the same things – trouble sleeping, work productivity worries, suppressing how I feel (that meme with the little dog drinking coffee in the middle of the fire is pretty close to my normal). She’s applying to reaches, targets, and safeties, but the process is so opaque and while I grew up with my (beloved) boomer mom saying, “nobody promised you fair,” it still sucks. All I have is commiseration.

      1. Thank you Seventh Sister. I am hoping your eldest gets into their first choice school. Would love for a happy ending to all of this angst!

    9. I was stressed when my eldest applied to college but it was the process that stressed me out more than anything else. I was a commuter student (not a lot of college funds) and her experience was just so foreign. Anyway, everything worked out fine. I didn’t have that empty nest syndrome that everyone always talks about. I was really excited for her, it was a wonderful opportunity and I was so glad that she had the full college experience that I didn’t have. When her two younger brothers went through the process we were much more relaxed. They also knew exactly where they wanted to go as opposed to their sister who was kind of all over the place. I like being an empty nester. I’m very happy when the come home but I’m also happy when they leave :)

      1. Thank you for commenting. I love hearing that someone enjoys being an empty nester. Hoping I have your attitude next year.

  13. I received a pair of pants last night and when I tried on the size that fit and the size that was too large, both had front creases as shown in this link: https://www.talbots.com/talbots-southampton-luxe-italian-flannel-straight-leg-pants/P253079604.html?cgid=apparel-suiting&dwvar_P253079604_color=DARK%20GREEN&dwvar_P253079604_sizeType=MS#3ddbfbe21d7682993f1ea54ea5%23fbbf7b8ddbdcf17bded21065b0%23acbf1ad0bc3b50cb76d793bc1c=&start=1
    Is this normal for this fabric? I’m debating on sending them back. The dark green swatch doesn’t have the creases but I assure you they are worse than the deep chocolate picture.

      1. + 1 If by “front creases” you mean that long pressed-in crease down the front center of the leg, that’s meant to be there.

        1. no that is not intentional; they were probably folded sloppily for warehouse storage and now have deep creases where they shouldn’t.

          1. or if you mean they don’t have the creases when you’re not wearing them, but there ARE creases when you try them on, then the cut of the hip is a mismatch for the cut of YOUR hips.

          2. Thanks Cat. I steamed the pair that fit well and the creases still appear when I wear. Shame because I like everything else.

          3. The Talbots photo is just showing fabric bunching due to the way she is standing. They look like they would not be visible if the model stood straight.

            If the pants are too small, there are often similar stress wrinkles or “smile lines” that point in the direction of the too-tight area.

            If the wrinkles are present in the fabric even when off your body, they should come out with steam (but wrinkles are likely to reappear if you bend at that location when you wear the pants so you will need to steam them out each time).

  14. i just got a notification from my work benefits department that as of february 1, 2026, Unum will no longer accept applications for long term care insurance. I am currently 40 and do not have long term care insurance. I do not know why they are stopping to accept applications, or if my employer will offer an option through another vendor going forward. is there reason for me to apply for this now?

    1. I would not. The places that accept it are unlikely to be places you’d want to live and the odds of such policy being honored in 40 years are low. Just stick money in an investment account for that purpose and self insure.

    2. I agree that you should put money away to self-insure instead of trying to find LTC insurance. I bought some when it was available through a new job (in federal government) 10 years ago. Since then, that plan was discontinued and now I have about $7500 in coverage. Basically, it’s what I paid in and would fund about a month of care. Insurers haven’t figured out how to make that sort of insurance work and insurers going into and then out of that business appears to be common.

    3. You’d have to see what the policy is. Does it offer cash payment per day toward a residence of your/family choosing? Is it a set payout? Or is it like the first person mentioned, tied to a certain network of facilities? If it’s a meaningful cash payment, it could be worthwhile, but you’d have to look at the math on the pay in and pay out.

  15. I need a super warm cardigan to wear during WFH zoom calls. I have bad circulation, and turning the heat up to 72 won’t fix it. I’d love a chunky cream cardigan in a natural fiber like wool. Or maybe something fleece lined? Any recommendations?

      1. I run cold and have this. It is not warm. Would recommend a warmer wool sweater. You could try following LL Bean one (only 50% wool) or Talbots has a couple (l i n k to follow)

        4. I agree with Josie P, cashmere or cashmere/wool blend cardigan. And wool socks.

    3. Not what you asked, but try sitting on a heating pad on low or draping an electric blanket over your legs. How I’m dressed up top doesn’t affect how warm I am.

    4. Honestly, I get cold even in my down puffer if I have back-to-backs/am sitting still for an extended period of time. Electric heated blanket is the thing that helps the most

    5. Not what you asked and I also made a more responsive suggestion, but for me, silk long underwear, both a long sleeve tee and long johns, are critical to my comfort when I am sitting still.

    7. Gap has some chunky cashsoft cardigan sweaters. They are very warm, and what I wear around my mountain house when it’s extra chilly. I love them.

  17. The Epstein files were released, including emails were Epstein seems to imply Trump knew what was going on. The fact that this isn’t going to even affect his approval rating a smidge makes me so mad.

    1. Don’t get ahead of yourself, a lot of MAHA moms are not going to stand for this.

    2. Just to clarify – it was a couple emails released by House Oversight Committee Democrats. The files themselves have not been released.

      I guess I’m foolishly surprised that there’s a smoking gun. I really do wonder about all those PizzaGate nuts and other QAnon types who were soooo worried “about the children.” Where are they now?

        1. The 20,000+ document was released by House Republicans today AFTER Democrats released a few emails referencing Trump. It was two different groups of documents (one fairly small and targeted and a second with a lot more documents that people are still combing through for relevance).

          1. They have already been scoured by over 100 FBI agents searching for references to Trump. Remember that time early in the year? If you think that these Trump references are now highlighted for our enjoyment, think again. Of course they will all be redacted.

    3. Is it terrible that I don’t think it’s going to make a bit of difference whatsoever?

      1. No – it is a reasonable response to the last 10 years of American politics. He really could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and it would not change his support.

      2. Not terrible at all for you to think that, just reflects that we live in terrible times because that is very likely how it will play out based on recent precedent.

    4. These were not “the Epstein files” which are investigatory files with the Justice Department. These were estate-related documents that other branches of government had access to. When people say, “Release the Files!” this was not the body of documents they were referring to.

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