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I've suddenly been craving a great trench coat for fall, and this one from Bernardo looks great. I like the toffee brown color, as well as the fact that it's single breasted.
I also like the price — trench coats are a classic, of course, so you're justified in spending more if you really like them… but if you're hunting for a more affordable option, this one is only $160.
Some other options include this beige one from Sezanne ($360) and the classic from Burberry. If you want something even more affordable, this Amazon coat from seller Makkrom is the #1 best seller for women's trench coats, and is under $75.
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
In-House in Houston
London question: I’m traveling from London to Liverpool on a Sunday in October. Should I buy train tickets now or is this something I can get same day? Thanks in advance!!
Anonymous
Buy them now
Anonymous
Get them now!
You’ll get a much better price in advance.
Nationalrail dot co dot uk for searching.
Ses
Use Trainline or the railway’s app to buy it now. Tickets are usually available but much more expensive day-of
Teapot
Definitely get them now. Buying on the day will be bonkers expensive compared to buying in advance.
JHC
Anyone have a Rothy’s code, by chance? Thanks!
anon a mouse
Enjoy! https://share.rothys.com/x/0EZBoc
JHC
thank you!!!
Anonymous
Are you involved with alumni groups you’re eligible for? How do you decide which ones are worth your time? I do a networking one from my undergrad because it was invitatation-only, but I don’t do anything for my law school.
Anon
I am a relentless joiner and am in everything. I was more active pre-kids but my heart is in all of these. Bowling Alone hit hard — I feel that we are becoming much less connected and I feel like I really need to show up or no one else will.
Anon
I’m not. I’m an alum of both my university and my sorority but at the end of the day all they want is money. I paid student loans for the first 15 years of my working career. I’ve given enough. And I have higher priorities for my charitable giving.
I did briefly do some mentoring at my university for my profession. I am actively involved in volunteering for that.
Twoesday
I’m still involved with my sorority as an alumna and find the local stuff is more low-key and less about donating money and paying dues. I guess that varies from group to group and maybe also the location.
I’m also a joiner, and as a single person, I’m more intentional to find groups that are worthwhile and active so I can have social and networking outlets.
Anon
I’ve gone to a number of alumni events, and I haven’t found my people there. I’m in my 30s, and the events seem to attract retirees or very young recent grads.
Anon
Paging Seventh Sister:
I am a Wellesley alumna, and I am very active in Wellesley Circles. I think Circles is also a thing at HBS and Stanford.
Anonymous
I occasionally go to the local area events for alumni from my undergrad if it’s an event that interests me, but I don’t do it for networking purposes. I don’t do anything related to my law school, but this is mainly because there aren’t a lot of alums from my law school where I live.
Colette
I’m involved in some Wharton MBA groups, but that’s more of a networking thing than what I think of as alumni groups?
It’s more biz dev than boosterism.
Anonymous
No freaking way. I have no desire to donate to either of the money-grubbing public universities I attended or to relive my college or law/grad school days. If I’d gone to Wellesley like the poster below I would be involved because there seems to be a networking benefit.
Seventh Sister
The networking aspect is really industry-specific and regional. If you are in finance or consulting and live on the East Coast, I think my college is pretty great for networking purposes. But there are people who work for government agencies in the Midwest and teach in the Intermountain West and run art galleries in Florida, and it’s probably less useful for them. My career is a popular one for alums of my school (law), but legal hiring is WAY more dependent on your law school and your grades than where you went to undergrad.
anon
I decide what to do based on what sounds appealing to me and works for my schedule. It ends up being a fair amount for my undergrad school, which is close to me and a good cultural fit and very little for my law school, which is far and not as great a cultural fit.
New Here
I was president of my university alumni association for a long time. I planned a few casual networking events/happy hours, but most of our events centered around football watch parties. I enjoyed those, but I got tired of feeling like I had to attend every single one and stepped down when I was pregnant. I’d like to attend more, but it doesn’t seem like the new guys are planning many. I found there were always people asking to have parties, but very few volunteering to help coordinate.
I also served as an advisor for my sorority for many years, and participated in the alumni meetings. Most to the alumni meetings were social outings – happy hours, brunch, etc. I stepped back from involvement when I was pregnant and am just now getting involved again.
Seventh Sister
As an alum I’ve worked as a giving/development volunteer in advance of our reunions, but I recently stepped back because I’d done it for a long time and someone else was interested in doing it. When I was fresh out of college, I did a lot for my local college club, but it was so thankless and the person in charge was such a nightmare that I bowed out around my fifth reunion. Then kids intervened, then COVID, and I just don’t have the time or interest right now. (I *do* constantly chat/text with my college friends, but that’s more of a personal thing greatly facilitated by the rise of WhatsApp/social media.)
To be honest, I don’t really get involved with the more network-y groups for my women’s college though they look very slick and polished in all the emails. For a women’s college, we have a pretty darn great alum network, but it’s still small compared to a lot of other colleges and universities.
For my undergrad, it’s always been more personal than professional, and right now, I feel like my kids’ schools need my volunteer time and attention more than my college needs those things.
As for my law school, I periodically attend things and it’s all pretty networking-focused, but my field is WAY outside the usual alum paths so it’s pretty sporadic. I *do* pester my friends from law school to go to the reunions, but mostly because I want to hang out with them, not for networking purposes.
Anon
i volunteer to mentor with my law school and it’s been 50/50 – one mentee was a delight, and the other hasn’t managed to actually pick a time to call, despite being matched in May.
Anon
I’m TTC and confused about parental leave policies. I have unlimited PTO at work, and our employee handbook says we get 12 weeks unpaid per FMLA. The unlimited PTO policy says its for vacation, short term personal or family illness, and medical appointments. Is parental leave short term? I wouldn’t think so. No one has gone on leave during my time here, so I can’t ask around. Would you read this to mean the only leave is the unpaid 12 weeks? Oh dear…
Cat
what is your short term disability policy? FMLA protects your position, not your paycheck during the leave.
Anon
There’s isn’t one…yes, I know FMLA is unpaid.
I’m also seeing that during FMLA leave, I would be responsible for paying my health insurance premiums…OMG.
Can I purchase Aflak or the like independently? It’s not offered through my work.
“insurance benefits will continue to be in force during this leave period, but the employee will pay all
premiums and expenses for benefits.”
Sybil
That is utter garbage. I’d talk to HR about implementing some type of formal parental leave if this hasn’t come up before. How long have you been there/can you find out if anyone has had a baby while there before?
Anon
I’ve been here only about a year. It’s a small company of about 15 people. I will try to see if anyone has taken a leave, but I’m so new I worry about rocking the boat. I agree it’s garbage. I’m reading this and can’t believe it!
Anon
I highly doubt your company’s insurer would let you drop your health insurance and re-up it when you return. That’s not how health insurance works.
Anon
I took it as meaning I have to pay 100% of premiums to continue coverage while on leave. Right now, the company pays 80% of my premium.
Anon
But if you don’t pay the premiums, the insurer would drop you, no?
Anonymous
I hate to add to the bad news, but as you budget for this blessed event, keep in mind your premium will also increase when you add a child if you plan on using your insurance for the baby. My former employer also wouldn’t pay toward my insurance during my unpaid leave as they claimed they couldn’t be assured people would return from leave. Or some such BS.
13 states have some mandatory paid family leave provisions, so look into that if you haven’t already.
Anon
Does FMLA cover 15 person firms now? I thought it had to be 50.
Anonymous
If your handbook says 12 weeks unpaid then it sounds like it is unpaid. Maybe you can push for a change given your unlimited PTO policy.
Anonymous
probably yes. my firm is like this and mat leave is unpaid with just FMLA.
Anon
Does anyone buy Aflack type products to provide income during mat leave?
Anon
I sincerely doubt a pregnancy would be covered but you can certainly check the wording.
Anon
I think pregnancy actually is covered, but I don’t know the rules on coverage. I think the disability insurers cover it and then use it to say things like 65% of Americans or something like that will have a “qualifying event.”
Anonymous
You’re incorrect. Some STD policies cover the 6-8 weeks immediately post partum, but you need to have been enrolled in the insurance for a period of time before the birth (like more than 9 months). It’s worth exploring.
Anonymous
My work offered a short-term disability policy that I used while on leave to cover like 8 weeks at some percentage of my salary. I used saved up sick and vacation leave so that the full 12 weeks was paid which also kept me eligible for health insurance. We now just offer 12 weeks of paid parental leave and don’t require people to bank their leave, etc. So much better.
anon
At my old job, some women did purchase Aflac as add’l coverage during maternity leave, to supplement STD. The consensus was that Aflac put so many restrictions and limitations on it that it wasn’t worth paying the extra money. But it’s possible that may have changed over time.
Anonymous
Nope. You don’t get paid leave. Unless your state offers some pay
Anon
This is important. Short term disability insurance kicks in in many cases, for up to 4 weeks before birth if disabled by a doctor, and up to 6 weeks after birth for a v birth, 8 weeks for a c birth. If conservatives have managed to do away with this I wouldn’t be surprised but it’s still a thing in my blue state.
I only had short term disability for my pregnancies back in the dark ages even in my blue state. I had a pto bank so I could save up some days for maternity leave after the short term disability was up, but it wasn’t much. My longest leave was 10 weeks and even then, I was working a bit from home, unofficially, toward the end.
Anon
I’m in MA, which has paid family and medical leave. That is next on my list to research. I’m hopeful this will provide some income.
Anon88
Perhaps this is petty but I would go to HR or your boss and play dumb. “Since we have unlimited PTO that covers medical needs, that means I can take 12 paid weeks off for maternity leave, right?” This is exactly why “unlimited” PTO grinds my gears. Functionally it feels like the employees have to guess how many days of PTO they have, rather than truly unlimited.
Anon
Ohhh I love this!
Anon
This would make you look really dumb since that’s not what the policy says.
Anon
I would modify the idea and asked or 6 weeks (v-birth) or 8 weeks (C-section) paid leave, since the policy states for “short term illness.”
Anon
+1
Anon
OP here – thanks! I like that!
Anon
I agree with this. Taking 6 of the weeks paid (8 if you have a c-section) is sick leave, not parental leave, and should be covered. Beyond that, it’s less clear.
New Here
My last employer had unlimited PTO, but for maternity leave, we could only use 2 weeks of PTO time. We did get up to 8 weeks of true mat leave though.
After I left, they changed their policy to give 16 weeks of mat leave.
Anonymous
“unlimited” PTO has never covered parental leave at any of the tech companies I’ve worked for. Paying your full insurance premium can also be standard. I only took 6 weeks off in a similar situation and my first paycheck went to paying back my insurance premiums that the company covered on my behalf.
Anon
I’m sorry. So you paid for 1.5 months (probably 2 months) of premiums on your own?
My premium will go up a lot if I add the baby to my plan. The company doesn’t contribute anything to a spouse or family being added.
Anon
The usual way this works is that when you give birth, it is a medical event. You are considered to be on medical disability for 6 (v) or 8 (c) weeks. Most employers have short term disability policies that cover this and this short term disability is sometimes paid per company policy. Then, per FMLA (although it doesn’t sound like your company meets FMLA requirements), you are eligible for baby bonding time. This is the remainder of that 12 week period. Some employers have parental leave that can kick in once short term disability leave is up. Some employers allow you to take additional time off unpaid. Insurances like Afflack usually require that you have them for at least a year before baby, so it’s probably too late for you to purchase.
If I were you, I’d decide how many weeks you want to take and discuss it with your employer. Absolutely play dumb that you think that short term illness = short term disability.
Anon
Thanks for this info. I searched the (very short, 13 page) employee handbook for “disability”. There’s nothing about any short or long term diability policy unfortunately.
Anon
It’s usually an employee benefit, like health and life insurance, though some employers pay the whole premium (mine have usually paid for short term and I pay for long term). Do you have something that describes your benefits?
Anon
The employee benefits page says we get long term disability insurance through Guardian, with the company paying 100% of the premium after a waiting period. Nothing short term.
Anon
Places with unlimited PTO may give you paid time off when you have a baby. It depends on the company but I have friends with unlimited PTO who took 6-12 weeks paid. You have to ask your company, not us. I would think you’d get at least 6 weeks which is what STD insurance covers for an uncomplicated birth.
Anon
This same set up came out when I was reviewing the benefits after receiving a job offer I was planning to take and I walked away because of it since I knew I was within 2 years of trying to have a child. I told them explicitly as feedback that I was looking for a place where I could have lasting impact and build a long term career and their benefits would not make that possible. They confirmed that I was not misunderstanding the situation.
Tactically, OP – in your shoes I’d be job searching now. And make sure you read the benefit docs thoroughly or do your research via Glassdoor in advance. If you decide to stay and are partnered, the birth of a child is a qualifying event, so you and baby both could join a spouse’s plan, though guessing that may not be a relevant option given that you didn’t mention it.
anon
Where are you?
As of when I last checked for California (and I think it’s gotten more generous since I last checked), a pregnant person who has everything go a smoothly as possible can get partially paid and job-protected disability leave starting at 36 weeks of pregnancy and then continuing through 6 weeks after the birth and then another 6 weeks of partially paid and job-protected bonding leave that is available to all new parents and then 6 weeks of unpaid leave. Total of 16 weeks partially paid, and 6 weeks unpaid. More partially paid and job-protected time if there is greater disability need. This is all through payroll tax-funded programs and statute.
Anon
Unfortunately, for a company of that size, this checks out. Second the recommendation to see if you have any additional coverage from your state policy, if you live in a blue state.
ToS
This – with 15 employees, it’s tough. Some smaller private employers used to band together to negotiate for better coverage – but that was pre-Affordable Care Act. I was the first pregnancy my firm ever had as a newly-minted paralegal, and it was a lot of belt tightening in the 90’s. We made it through, and it’s a bit better now, but still Not Great. Now we look at benefits as a couple before making any decisions.
Anonymous
When you’re planning a vacation, are there smarter ways to figure out whether the weather will be a good bet then? This always trips me up…
anon
For that specific week, no. But for the general month I always just Google “Manuel Antonio Costa Rica February weather” for example and see what a place does historically in your travel month. There are rain season, dry season, hurricane season for example that you can generally avoid or target. But there’s never any guarantee for a specific date range.
Anonymous
I google best time to visit x and usually find articles talking about weather in different seasons. You can also look up ave temps and rainfall.
Anon
Yeah, just google it. I always google “Location weather month.” Obviously you can’t predict weather exactly and climate change is making it even harder to do so.
Anon
When things are very stressful, how would you recommend treating yourself without spending money? I’m dealing with a whole host of stressors right now – my own medical issues (hopefully minor, but I’m currently on a never ending merry go round of trying to get a diagnosis), a close relative’s very serious medical issues, some other family stuff, work stress, a job search, and graduate school (just one class at a time, but still takes a fair amount of time). As a result, I have very, very little free time or money.
I got some not terrible but not good news today. I just want to pick up fancy take out on my way home and enjoy it with a glass of wine for an hour before I have to dive back into being a productive adult who deals with these sorts of things, but I cannot justify the cost of takeout. I also have (online) class for my grad class tonight, so cannot just take the night off.
Most of my typical stress releases cost money. I enjoy things like grabbing a drink with a friend, getting a pedicure or a massage, therapy, or going for a hike but I’ve really cut out most expenses, so I’ve dropped my Hand and Stone membership, I do my nails at home (not the same!), I have friends over for potlucks instead of going out, I’ve dropped therapy to once every 6-8 weeks instead of 2x a month, and I’m limiting driving to hiking spots due to the cost of gas. I do try to run or lift a few days a week, because I know it’s really important for my mental health. I put off working out for the past few weeks because I was busy, but I realized it was very bad for me. I’m trying my best to still eat decently and get enough sleep as well, for similar reasons. Unfortunately my insomnia has been kicking in lately so I’m also just exhausted.
I found out today that I”m going to need more medical testing that will put me in the red for this month. My margins are very thin ($800/month after fixed costs; this has to cover groceries, toiletries / household needs, transportation, and anything I do for fun), so it doesn’t take much to put me in the red. I’ve managed to avoid debt thus far, but I don’t think I can sustain that much longer.
I am definitely taking as much off of my plate as I can (my apartment is a mess, I am pausing the job search (I’m in the interview process for two jobs, I’m keeping those but am taking a break from applying to additional jobs), and redrawing boundaries about how much I can “show up” for other friends right now – which I hate to do, but I do have to put on my oxygen mask first.
Aside from taking a walk, watching something I enjoy on TV (TV is broken, cannot replace it), or reading a good book (too much reading for school, I don’t really enjoy pleasure reading right now), any cheap or free ideas on how to relax or treat myself?
Colorado
Check your local Buy Nothing group on Facebook (or even Facebook Marketplace) for a free TV and then sign up for free trial runs at Netflix, Hulu, etc. Does your town do free art walks once a month or something similar? Starbucks is doing fall drinks BOGO on Thursdays; make plans with a friend for Thursday so you have something to look forward to?
Anon
I like to bake or cook. Kneading bread is always therapeutic and homemade bread is cheaper and better than store bought. Muffins or quick bread, pizza, or a fruit crisp are faster, though, and can still be reasonably healthy.
anon
Sounds like you’re in a very stressful stage of life. Are you the poster who is trying to get through grad school without taking out loans? That may be something to reconsider, though I realize it’s not an immediate fix.
A few thoughts on free things:
– Take a long, hot shower before bed.
– Don’t read anything challenging, but YA or even a favorite book from when you were a kid might scratch that itch for escapism.
– iPhone photography. Walk through your neighborhood and really pay attention to your surroundings. Take pictures of interesting things, whether it’s an absurd sign on a door, a cloud, a tree, whatever. Something about taking photos makes me see things I might otherwise ignore and gets me outside my head.
– Long walks.
– Call your friends or loved ones. Hearing their voices might do you a world of good, and it’s better than constant texting and messaging.
Anonymous
Hot bath with fancy (or not so $$) bath bomb while listening to an audio book. I also enjoy listening/watching/reading things that transport me to another time/place – think Downtown Abbey or Jane Austen or travel writers/shows.
Anon
Does your area have any fun, free activities? Movie night on the lawn, parades, hikes?
Anon
Yeah I could probably find something this weekend (my first weekend in a few weeks where I haven’t had family care obligations!), but hoping to find something I can do at home tonight too.
Anonymous
Time to download a free meditation app? J
No Face
Major institutions often have free times available for local residents – think Museums and Botanical Gardens.
Listening to music or an audiobook while taking a long bath can be nice.
Anon
I love baths but unfortunately no bathtub in my apartment.
I’ll look into free activities this weekend
Anonymous
If you have a large enough shower stall you can get an inflatable bathtub.
ToS
My new wish for you is to have one of these show up on the Buy Nothing site…
CreditRisk
I got something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Cusprtm-Installation-free-Collapsible-High-density-Insulation/dp/B0BZ92B287/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=folding+bathtub&qid=1694609347&sr=8-5
I used it for my children after my daughter got stuck in the kiddie tub. Frustratingly, bath tubs are not a thing in Denmark and my children love a soak. I use epsom salts as cheap.
Anonymous
Honestly, I just like to take a long walk while listening to a crime podcast. Free, healthy, and helps me escape, but I sleep better because I walked.
Anon
Youtube yoga, guided meditation (I LOVE Tara Brach on spotify), dance party at home. Taking a long walk and thinking about the things I am grateful for is also helpful in moments like these
Anon
I’m in a similar boat minus the health testing. Free audio books from your library. I use the Libby app. Podcasts. Sit under a blanket with a nice cup of tea. Chill out with animal videos on TikTok. Face mask or a little extra skin care. Just some thoughts.
Anon
I love sitting in front of the fan or AC with a face mask. I buy them from Marshall’s, usually 4 or 5 for $3 bucks.
Anonymous
Self-gardening could help with relaxation. Dancing to some silly music, even just listening to a couple of songs each day.
I really like youtube channels like Nami’s life. She’s a Japanese woman who makes slow-TV style videos about simple food and household tasks made meditatively and calmly. I don’t want to be that mindful myself, but I find the videos relaxing.
Do you like animals? Any petting friendly shelters near you where they want petting volunteers?
Any beauty schools near you? You might get a discount if you’re patient and accept student quality as a model.
anon
Self-gardening could help with relaxation. Dancing to some silly music, even just listening to a couple of songs each day.
I really like youtube channels like Nami’s life. She’s a Japanese woman who makes slow-TV style videos about simple food and household tasks made meditatively and calmly. I don’t want to be that mindful myself, but I find the videos relaxing.
Do you like animals? Any petting friendly shelters near you where they want petting volunteers?
Any beauty schools near you? You might get a discount if you’re patient and accept student quality as a model.
Anon
Get on a dating app and let someone take you out for drinks or dinner. You might just change your life in the process too.
Anecdata
a small thing, but getting home and making a “fancy” water (like pour into an actual glass, with actual ice cubes and a slice of lemon or a mint leaf if I have one – and then sit on the porch and drink it slowly, instead of just chugging at the sink – always feels luxurious to me
Cc
I have a smallish team – 15 people. And we sit in office space that’s long, with one entry point. I always walk down and say hello to people when I arrive but some days due to meetings etc I don’t know who is in and who is remote. I’d like a board at the front desk with everyone’s name and a toggle that you can flip to “in” when you come in, otherwise it would say “remote”. Does this exist? In a way that looks somewhat professional ?
Anon
I had an employer that did this with a magnetic wipe off board. Our names were magnets, and we moved a little magnet to the in or out column. I didn’t love it. I didn’t think it looked that professional.
anon
I once worked in an office with this. It definitely felt like a weirdly controlling check in/check out thing, like we were in elementary school or something.
Anonymous
I’ve seen this done, but mainly at industrial sites where you legitimately need to know where people are for safety reasons, like in case something caught on fire or exploded and you needed to account for people. I would be slightly annoyed if I had to do this at my white collar office.
Anon
In every office I’ve worked in, people would use this for maybe the first week and then never update it again.
Anonymous
We have a shared Outlook calendar with status/location (WFH, in office, travel).
Anon
google calendar also has this feature! Work location.
ToS
Nthing this – it can live quietly elsewhere, and that way when people work routinely X day, it doesn’t take much to set up.
Anon
Can you have people set their status on Teams / Slack with where they’re working
What’s your office’s wfh policy? Admittedly this is unfamiliar to me (we are 4 days a week in office and you have to tell your supervisor which day you’re WFH), but could there be a more formal process of informing your team where you’ll be working?
Anon
Why??
Vicky Austin
Teams and Outlook have “working elsewhere” functions, I believe.
Anon
Slack lets you set a location too
Anonymous
Why doesn’t your office make people share their wfh / in person plans with a supervisor?
Anon
+1 Sounds like you’re the supervisor here OP, shouldn’t you know this already?
Anon
Because that’s micromanaging and annoying. Just walk around.
Anon
Uh, it’s not micromanaging for your supervisor to know your WFH schedule.
Anonymous
Just walk down the hallway and look.
Anon
My office has a white board like this from back in the days before we had voicemail or email (government, we go to court a lot). People used to call the front desk looking for someone and the receptionist would tell them what the board said. People sign out when they leave to go to court, or note when they are WFH or out and who is covering for them. No one signs out for lunch, or when they are coming in early or late unless it’s by a lot. We keep it professional, but I’m told that in decades past there were lots of codes and inside jokes on the board. It’s a big part of the culture here, but if it hadn’t been done for decades, I cannot imagine getting people to adapt it. I have no issue with our system but I find your proposal to be kind of intrusive.
Anonymous
That feels weird and invasive
Anon
It really isn’t.
Runcible Spoon
Yes, it is, if someone comments that it feels weird and invasive. YOU may not agree, but that doesn’t make your view rule.
Anon
Only 15 people with one entry point? Just walk through the office and look. I’d be annoyed that we have a Kindergarten attendance system for a tiny group.
Anon
My office uses slack for this. One team has a channel where the department checks in for the day. Everyone just posts “here” or “remote” and someone posts that Betty is on PTO, etc. My team uses the status icons – the house is for remote but working, the palm tree is for vacation, the message bubble is for a DND message. We have others, but those are the big ones.
Anonymous
Two food questions as we are traveling by the end of this week.
Would you eat yogurt past its expiration date? It’s one of those bigger boxes of plain yogurt, opened probably 5 or so days ago. It expires today. Normally I wouldn’t have a problem just getting another one, except DH and I are rushing around as we leave for a trip at the end of this week and would rather not have to run to the store if we can eat this for say an extra one or two days. It’s our normal breakfast. With milk I’m usually not skittish because you can tell when milk is bad. Yogurt IDK.
Second question – can you store potatoes in the fridge or should we toss those? We shopped last week, thought we’d cook more, we didn’t and now of course traveling means they won’t get used. We’re trying not to come back to a nasty rotted potato mess. Any way to save those or should we toss them before we go? FWIW there is no cool dark place in an apartment where they’ll keep for a week. I mean dark sure, but it’ll only be so cool when we turn up the AC as we leave.
Anon
Potatoes can keep for months in ideal circumstances – they’ll be fine for a week while you’re gone. Don’t put them in the fridge. https://www.marthastewart.com/8344215/how-to-store-potatoes-avoid-sprouting
Anon
So no cooler than 42 but no warmer than 55? Sure, Martha. Sure.
Anonymous
maybe I’m gross but we eat things long, long past the expiration date.
yogurts past the expiration date i won’t give to kids, but my husband will eat for 2 or 3 months past. potatoes… when they’re growing a stem is when we usually toss them, but my husband recently cut off the eyes and then cut them up for roasted potatoes and honestly they tasted fine.
Anon
I cut off the eyes all the time. You can buy potatoes that don’t sprout but they’re treated with something. I’d rather buy the organic potatoes that sprout and just deal with it.
Anon
I don’t think it’s gross. Expiration dates often have more to do with quality than safety. Throwing out everything on its expiration date leads to a lot of food waste.
Anon
Yes, you can eat yogurt for way past it’s best by date. Why would you store potatoes in the fridge? They last forever.
Anon
Potatoes really don’t unless they’re conditioned for storage, which the ones you’re getting now aren’t. We’re at the end of fresh crop. Fridge is best.
Source,
used to work in salty snack manufacturing
Anon
Yes to both
anon
Yogurt is made with bacteria and was invented to keep milk good for longer, so I view the date as a suggestion. It wouldn’t occur to me to hesitate to eat yogurt that looked and smelled fine and was kept in the fridge for a few extra days.
Anon
this – you trust yourself to identify bad milk – the same works for yoghurt. Smell, look, taste. Trust your senses. You can do it!
Anonymous
You can freeze mashed potato, if you’re up for doing some cooking before you leave and have freezer space.
I have eaten expired yogurt, as long as it has been kept cool and cold in the fridge – room temperature is where yogurt spoils quickly. I usually check the stilltasty for foods I’m uncertain about, but I’m not in the US, so the bacteria to be concerned about might be different? I like to put portion sizes of yogurt in air tight tupperware.
When plain yogurt truly goes bad while in the fridge, it will mold. In my experience low fat yogurt will mold a lot quicker than full fat yogurt.
Anon
I eat yogurt for months past the best by date all the time. Only once in my 40+ years has it actually gone bad enough to throw out (visibly moldy).
I usually don’t cook with potatoes for a couple weeks after buying them and they’re always fine, so probably okay there too, though I do keep them in the dark.
Anon
I eat mildly expired yogurt. The probiotics help it last longer. I have a friend from an Eastern European old Soviet country and she swears yogurt doesn’t have an expiration date!
Two days or so past expiration should be absolutely fine.
Anon
Yogurt is more of a “best by” product than a “don’t eat after” product in my book. As long as it’s not visibly fussy and doesn’t taste off, we eat it in our house.
I have always stored potatoes in the fridge. Old house with critters, so keeping them out of the fridge would be asking for trouble. Fridge potatoes last months and months.
Runcible Spoon
You may eat yogurt one or two days beyond the “best by” date. You may store the potatoes in the vegetable bin in the fridge for a week. Have a good trip!
Anon
I want to go back to Paris. I haven’t been since before the pandemic. Pre-pandemic I went in May a couple of times. Has anyone been in mid January? I’m looking at my calendar and that may end up being the most reasonable time to go work-wise.
I’d rather have cold than hot. One of my May trips was too chilly for the only coat I brought, an unlined raincoat, but I survived. At least in January I know it will be cold? Maybe?
Anon
Do it! The one and only time I went was February and it was great.
Anon
Yes! Me! We went in January 2020 (as we were packing up for the airport to fly home, we had on CNN and the chyron story was “FAA reviewing all arriving passengers from Wuhan at LAX, NYC and airports”).
It was fabulous. No crowds. No lines. Yes, we wore parkas, but I’d much rather that than stifling heat and crowds.
Anon
* at LAX, JFK and [one other airport, maybe SFO]*
Anon
There have been a lot of questions on friendships lately. That plus things going on in my personal life have me wondering — how do you keep people from only coming to you when they need something?
I expect that in my professional life, but I find that more and more in my personal life.
Anon
That’s tough. You can ask “I don’t know” when they ask you something. If it’s a favor, you can say no.
I don’t play games with “I’m always the one inviting” for strictly social stuff. Some people are better at that than others. So as long as it was someone I was seeing socially on a somewhat regular basis, whether I invited or they did, I’d be fine with helping out.
Exception is when it reaches into an area that is my business. Im a consultant. So if one of my friends is volunteering with a tiny non profit and wants to make sure their insurance policy looks like it has the right coverage, I’m more than happy to take a look. If they worked for the same non profit and that organization wanted me to review their financials and sign off on them or give an opinion, that’s an engagement for which I need to be paid. And I charge a lot!
Favors that are not professional in nature I happily do unless it has been a continuous one-way street, and if so, no is a complete answer. “Sorry, I can’t! Good luck.” is my usual reply in that case. DO NOT give reasons. That just opens the door for them to come up with work arounds. Just like cross examination in court. Don’t open any doors. Just say no.
anon
You can’t, but you can say no to people who only reach out to you when they need something. And then try to find friends who will also be there for you. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Anonymous
I have relatives like this. Only hear from the, when a gift is involved. It really hurt my feelings.
Anonymous
You start saying no to them. In my experience these people do it because they know the answer will be yes, and when that changes they tend to fade away quickly.