What’s the Best Life Advice You’ve Ever Read?
What's the best advice you've ever received? I recently came across a note I'd made a few years ago, from an Esquire article on marriage — the advice being that it just takes 90 seconds, three times a day, to have a good marriage. I found it and said to myself, “man, that was really good advice.” I'm not always the best at doing it (and actually, until I looked it up I thought it was 30 seconds, three times a day), but I always appreciate it when I do it. (Another good piece of advice someone gave me years ago that I'm not always the best at: everyone has to share ONE good thing that happened to them that day over dinner.)
We're inundated with Pinterest quotes and articles offering advice on everything under the sun — so I thought it might be fun to talk about the advice that's stayed with you. It could be career advice, life advice, fashion advice — anything that's changed your life for the better, that changed the way you try to live your life. (Hopefully it's something better than “Life is like a box of chocolates…” — but I'll admit that there's truth in that, also.)
(Pictured: chocolate box, originally uploaded to Flickr by richardoyork.)
On work:
“Never turn down a job you haven’t been offered yet.” From my dad. In other words, don’t talk yourself out of applying for something just because you aren’t sure you want it. Go for it, and if they make you an offer, THEN you can decide whether to turn it down.
On nipping a bad situation in the bud:
“Kill it before it eats New York.” – my therapist
On dating:
The Maya Angelou quotation about believing someone the first time they show you who they are. Also, in a similar vein to the Dave Barry line about how someone who is nice to you but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person, “Pay attention to how your date treats the waitstaff, because that is how he will treat you after he no longer feels he needs to impress you.” It really, really matters how someone treats the people they don’t “have” to be nice to.
misquoting, I’m sure but, “Whenever you find youself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” Mark Twain
One from my husband, but I use sparingly, “If you don’t want people to know you said it, don’t say it.” (or do it), which often conflicts with the one my life reflects most: If you don’t use your rights, you may lose them.
OP here that posted on earlier thread about drunk people taking care of baby:
I appreciate all the comments – even the harsh comments. I’ve got to get over this whole baby thing. It’s hard when it’s a couple me and my husband have spent a great deal of time with over the last 5 years. My husband went to college with the baby’s father. I consider them to be very good friends. I guess what it comes down to is their “being a parent” actions don’t fit my expectation of the kind of parents I truly thought they would be. I thought they’d be the people that grew up and didn’t get wasted since they have a baby to care for, but they’re not. Now I’ll just have to decide which events I attend or don’t attend and if I do attend how to not care so much about this little baby. The baby rants are over folks.
I should add:
I also thought that they’d be the people that would read up on baby care and make sure their baby is as safe as possible, etc. Hopefully nothing truly regretful happens to the little guy.
Coming late to the conversation, but are you sure you can’t gently express your concerns to them?
(I say “gently” not to soft-pedal your concerns but because they’ll probably be more receptive to a gentle discussion rather than a full-on blast.) Maybe it’s possible to reason with them until they realize that they have to change. (Re how babies change your life: yes, it’s huge, but you still have to cope or learn how and when to ask for help or a break from baby-caring. That’s time measured in hours, not weeks.)
It just occurred to me to wonder whether they _drove_ the baby home with themselves in a significantly-less-than-sober condition? Yikes. That might be another reason to query them. (Emphasize your concern for everyone’s safety, not your horror at their behavior.) Okay, now I’ve gotten myself all agitated about a situation over which I have absolutely no control. And possibly you, too. And right before bed time. Argh.
And one I told my young daughter when she started first grade this year, which totally seemed to resonate with her: Some of your strongest memories in your whole life are formed in elementary school, and you never know how your words or actions may influence someone else. A small act of kindness can change another person’s life – or an unkind word can be remembered as very cruel. So try to look for opportunities to be someone’s good memory.
This is a beautiful idea! I hope it goes viral and ends up helping uncounted numbers of young children.
“Your dreams should be so big that only you can imagine accomplishing them.” My husband told this to me back when we were “only” best friends and hadn’t started dating yet. I’ve always held onto those words as an encouragement to continue dreaming, even when everyone says it’s impossible.
“Do you want to be somebody, or do something?” – I think it’s originally John Boyd, but I’m not sure. It’s be the quote driving me for the past few years
Re marriage: “Try to outdo each other with kindness.” I had this in mind when I wiped the snow and ice off my husband’s car this morning, even though I wasn’t really feeling it, to be honest. Got a very grateful and affectionate note from him afterward.
From my mom, “She who gossips to you will gossip of you.”
When I was a new associate at a big firm (lateral from a government agency), one of the partners told me, “Always remember…you are your own law firm.” I understood his advice to mean I should develop a niche practice, cultivate and acquire my own clients, and always be ready to leave the firm and take my clients with me. This advice really served me well.
One of my female professors in grad school (one of the few in our department with young kids) was often approached by the female grad students asking when would be the best time to have kids from a career perspective. Her advice was that there was never an ideal time, career-wise, to have kids, so you just needed to determine what time was right from the perspective of you and your family.
I have a couple:
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” – Dr. Seuss
“This too shall pass.”
These two are what I live by.
In college I was suffering from severe panic attacks and anxiety, being a type A perfectionist about grades and life choices. My therapist told me “Heather, you can either freak out and panic, and it will get done, or you can be calm about it, and it will get done. Either way, it’s going to get done.” I still think about that almost 15 years later.
Whatever you are, be the best at it. – My dad (:
“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” – Elizabeth Taylor
The second has gotten me through two and a half years of law school thus far.
The best advice I ever got was written by a friend in my high school yearbook – “Follow the hope in your heart, not the fear in your mind”. For some reason it just resonates with me :)