Weekend Open Thread

130 Comments

1. Anyone have recs for transportation from the airport in Rome? Taxi? Uber?

   1. We took the Leonardo express train, easy.

   2. Train. It wouldn’t have even occurred to me to do something else.

   3. We took the train too. But I’ve also used taxis a bunch in Italy and had no issues.

   4. Train!

   5. It depends on the time of day, how much luggage you have, how tired you think you will be and how you balance money and comfort. Travelling with younger kid and/or older parents, I arranged a car service (Stefano’s). The one time I tried to take a taxi (we had been delayed, had been travelling for 20 and my 75+ year old parents were completely exhausted), it was a disaster and I ended up summoning an Uber because the taxi “line” was a free for all of pushing and shoving.

      The train is a good option if you are up to it after a long travel day but think about how you are getting from Termini to your hotel, especially if your flight is arriving late at night. And be aware of the rules about children’s fares if that applies to you. Honestly I dislike the local trains in Italy but I am past the point of roughing it! (The high speed is amazing though!)

      1. Comment checks out, San Diego is one of the most car centric places I’ve ever been.

         1. Eh I lived in NYC for a decade and have visited Europe a whole bunch and I think this is valid when traveling with little kids or elderly parents. Not every person is able to take a train easily. It wasn’t Rome, but we booked a car service from the airport to our hotel in Paris when we took our 1 year old there. We could easily afford it and coming off a red flight with a baby who had not slept a wink, we have no regrets. It was a lot easier and less stressful than navigating public tr-nsit, even for people who are reasonably adept at it.

         2. I happily ride the metro in many cities all over the world (including San Diego; the trolley saves me during baseball season). I would absolutely for example recommend it in Paris,. But also that the experience of public transit is really different when you are 25 and travelling with a backpack vs. 40 and travelling with a child (with all the extra luggage that entails) vs. 55 and travelling with a 75-year-old who has been awake for 20 hours. Arriving at Termini station at noon after a flight from NYC is different than arriving at midnight. Options are good.

            And honestly after riding the local trains in Naples last year I may never ride the local trains in Italy again!

         3. Well I’m not from there and I loathe traveling with luggage on a train. Car service for the win every time. No need to make life hard for yourself.

      2. I agree with this take. I’m always exhausted after international travel and prefer to have either a taxi or a car service lined up and then do public transportation for the rest of my trip.

         1. Everyone has different needs. For me and my kid who gets carsick, getting in the back of a taxi after international travel would be much worse than taking a train.

            1. Taxis are awful, but a good car service with a nice car and professional driver is divine.

   6. Just back from Rome, Uber works from the airport, or just go to the rank and the fixed fare is around €55, so if more than one of you it may make financial sense.

2. I just went back to a thread from last month to look something up and noticed that comments were closed. Has this always been a thing?

   1. We used to keep them open for 2 years, then we were getting a ton of spam on the older posts and not many real comments so that was shortened, first to one year, then to six months, and now 2 weeks. If I republish the post (change the date) then the comments are open again.

3. Low stakes question – I have never attended a wedding at a resort and will be going to one for the first time. The wedding is at a Hyatt Resort but my preferred chain is Marriott. The Marriot resort is about 0.5 miles from the Hyatt. I am okay staying at the Hyatt if it will be too weird or annoying to attend the wedding events if not staying at the location. Any thoughts? Thanks

   1. Don’t be silly. Of course stay where the wedding is. Otherwise, everyone will know that you are not because you are hoarding Marriott points. What do you think people will say if they see you driving in and back all day? That you’re commuting from home? Get with the program and be there for the bride!

      1. This is a wild comment. If you’re not IN the wedding party, I don’t see why it matters where you stay.

      2. Agree this is insane. Nobody is going to be tracking OP that closely.

      3. Here she is again! You must be such a great person.

      4. I think this is satire guys.

         1. Yea this sounds like a joke.

   2. Is it an all inclusive? TBH I’d absolutely side eye someone not staying at the actual resort unless there was a real reason not to (like a lack of accessible rooms).

      1. Really? Why? In a place with multiple hotels and resorts I don’t see an issue with someone choosing their preferred place to stay.

         1. I think it’s one thing if you choose a more affordable option, no judgment there. But if you are choosing something comparable for no reason other than “preference,” there is a something slightly odd about it. It’s almost like you’re saying, “oh this is really not for me, I think the Marriott is better,” or maybe just “I am so wedded to my points I could not possibly see why it would be nice to stay with everyone in one place so we can have more time to interact”

            1. Literally nobody is going to be putting that much thought into another guest’s choice of accommodations.

   3. For me this would come down to two things. First, are you making a longer break out of it or are you going in, wedding, leaving without much time to do much else. Second, is this likely to be a late night and/or a tipsy one (or drunk, I’m not judging) or are you secretly hoping to slip out early and be in bed by 10? If it’s the former option on either or both questions I would stay at the wedding hotel.

   4. Unless it’s an all-inclusive resort, I think it’s fine to stay where you want as long as you know tr-nsportation to and from the venue is on you. If it’s all-inclusive it would be a lot more complicated though, I think.

   5. Most resorts don’t just let guests hang out even if with friends, so casual pool downtime with other guests may be awkward.

   6. It depends. Are any wedding events restricted to resort guests, or will you have to pay for a day pass to attend? Is it an area where you can safely walk between the hotels? I don’t think it’s weird to stay a hotel that’s more affordable or desirable for whatever reason. The couple can’t require you to stay at a specific hotel unless they’re footing the bill

   7. It probably wouldn’t be worth the inconvenience to me to stay at a different resort down the road, but I’m not a big hotel points person.

   8. If it’s a destination wedding, a lot of the experience is hanging out poolside with the other guests. I would not plan on having that option if you’re staying at a different resort. half a mile may not include gated security and getting around the resort, so transportation to/from could also be really annoying (assuming they’d let you on-site despite not being a guest.)
      Just go with the flow and go with the resort the couple picked.

   9. I would stay at the wedding resort just because I’m lazy and like things to be easy, but I’m surprised at all the “side eye” comments. I think staying at a nearby preferred chain is fine. Good grief, it’s your money and your choice.

   10. It depends whether you want to socialize with the other wedding guests and bride and groom. If it’s your niece or something then yes stay at the Mariott so you have some time to yourself, but if it’s a friend from school and all your friends from school will be there then stay at the wedding resort because there will be unscheduled, impromptu afterparties.

       1. +1

   11. I think it depends on what events you are invited to/ expected to be at, how many people you know and where they will be staying, and how easy and safe it is to travel between the two resorts. If you’re just a guest (not in the wedding) and you’re only invited to the ceremony and reception, and this isn’t a situation where your whole friend group or extended family will be at the Hyatt, chances are nobody will even notice where you’re staying. But if you’re involved in lots of wedding activities, or you’ll be hanging out with friends or family who are at the Hyatt, it will be annoying to be staying at a different hotel.

       Also, points aren’t worth that much money. A couple of nights’ worth of points aren’t going to save you money if you have to pay for Ubers or a day pass.

       1. +1

   12. Assuming that wedding events you want to attend outside of the wedding itself will not be occurring at the resort, I’d stay where you prefer to stay, the Marriot. If you plan to spend a weekend lounging at the resort pool or using the resort’s beach access, then I’d stay at the resort itself. If all you’re doing is attending the wedding and you have a safe way to get home afterward, stay at the Marriott and get your points!**

       **DH travels a lot and is serious about staying at Hilton hotels. The points add up and matter. They’re how we usually go on vacations without paying for hotels.

   13. OP Here – Thanks everyone. I am not part of wedding party and will only know the bride/groom and one other couple. We plan to make a vacation out of this Maui Wedding and wanted to avoid moving resorts between the wedding and non-wedding days. I think the wedding resort is all inclusive.

       I travel for work and usually stay at Marriott Residence Inns. Getting the points for whatever money I spend at the Marriott matter because I get things like free late checkout and other minor benefits that really improve my work travel experience since my company isn’t going to pay for fancy places.

       I haven’t gotten a full invite yet, just save the date with location information. I don’t know if there will be planned events for those who aren’t family or close friends (this is the category I fall in).

       1. In your situation, I would definitely stay at the Marriott, if that would be your preferred for your vacation+wedding. There is no benefit to staying at the wedding hotel.

       2. Marriott, absolutely.

       3. If you’re not staying at the resort, please do let the wedding party know though. You don’t want them counting you in any count necessary to get a room block difference or wondering if you are indeed going to show (sorry, conference planner in me).

          1. Really? Why would you have to tell her and make a big deal out of it? Is there an RSVP requiring you to tell the bride where you are staying? I’m sure the hotel will tell her how many reservations are made. What would be the purpose of telling the bride? So she has time to guilt you into staying at the resort instead, when you are already spending $$$$ to fly to Hawaii for her wedding?

             Do what works for you OP.

             1. If you RSVP yes to a destination wedding, there’s an assumption you’ll be staying onsite. If you are not staying there, at best, they won’t see your reservation and will need to chase you down to ensure you are indeed still coming or they assume you aren’t there and may alter dinner counts, etc. At worst, you might be overcounted and then near the time of booking result in them losing the block discount, which will affect everyone else in the wedding that is staying there. That prospect is way, way more embarrassing than not just doing a simple courtesy of telling them. It’s not a matter of guilting you into joining–it’s literally not f-ing up the planning.

                That logic is as stupid as saying “I’m not going to RSVP no to an event because I’m worried they’ll talk me into going.”

       4. FWIW, I’ve always preferred staying at the wedding location when it’s an option. It’s nice to be able to go to your room to change into more comfortable shoes, not stress about getting home at the end of the night etc. Also, I travel a ton for work and have accounts with every hotel chain, it opens up a lot more possibilities.

       5. Maui (and Hawaii in general) doesn’t have true all-inclusive resorts like in Mexico/Caribbean, so I really doubt the wedding resort is all-inclusive in the standard sense, i.e., all food and drink included for every guest.

4. Has anyone found online resources they like for simplifying their life as a professional? I’m utterly drowning in personal and work emails, texts, Teams chats, FB msgs, etc. Bills are frequently overdue and stacked in a corner. Dishes pile up. Clothes pile up. Work is a mess right now given the markets, I’m already depressed and anxious from a sick spouse. I’m doing all the things I can – therapy, Rx meds, trying to sleep enough, trying to eat enough, WFH and sit on my porch to do work, get to our vacation house when I can, cutting myself slack, going for walks. I feel like I have a decent handle on the things I CHOOSE to have in my life, but the things people thrust on me – the unwanted emails, bills, “just checking in” messages, text msgs all the time – just drown me. I can’t run off and raise chickens, as much as I want to. Any ideas for online resources, tools, mindset shifting, etc.?

   1. Well first of all, set aside some time to go online and put all your bills on autopay.

      1. My in laws refuse to do auto pay (they’re scared of getting their identity stolen?) but also complain about paying bills. It’s completely maddening

      2. +1 Autopay is such a time saver. I have my utilities set to pay up to a certain amount, but if the bill is over I’ll get a notification to pay the extra. Everything that is always the same, I fully automate.

         Batch process your comms as much as possible. Don’t look at email, chat and texts as they come in, just set aside 30 min and clear them all out at once. Tell people you’re doing this and that they should call you if something is urgent.

         On the home front, you need routines. FLY lady is old and campy, but her approach is solid… a load a day keeps the laundry chaos away, Thursday we do bills and rx, Friday we do errands, close the kitchen each night, then take 10 min to clear a clutter “hot spot,” etc. You can’t fix it all at once, but if you start small habits that get you on the right track, you’ll get there!

   2. Hey first of all hugs.

      I really like this woman Kendra adochi “the lazy genius” because she has advice on how to make problems smaller and focus on what matters but also how to acknowledge that you’re in a season where things are chaotic. Your home might not be as clean as you’d like right now but you can decide that it matters that your clothes are, for example, are in the hamper but not on the floor,ect. It helps me in the “everything is a mess” moments to prioritize what matters. For me, if the main living areas are tidy it’s fine if my closet isn’t. You may decide if the bills are paid the emails can pile up, for example. You also remind yourself that this particular season of life is hard and maybe caring for yourself and a sick spouse matters more than texts that are thrust upon you. High achieving people have trouble dropping balls and I think it helps to decide affirmatively what matters now.

      1. Replying to myself to add that nothing has helped me keep a tidy home like setting aside ten minutes every morning to put things away in my kitchen. It’s a weird thing but somehow it makes all the difference.

         1. I do the same thing, only at night. I “close the kitchen” immediately after dinner
            and it’s so nice to wake up to a clean kitchen every morning.

   3. I turn my notifications off. The constant notifications from emails, texts, Team chats, etc. just drive me crazy and make me feel like I can’t accomplish anything. I check them frequently throughout the day, but only when I’m already taking a break or distracted. I don’t let them interrupt my flow.

      Also, I wait to respond on a lot of group emails for an hour or two, and a lot of times, the rest of the group resolves the issue without me stepping in. Obviously, I’ll weigh in if I feel like I need to, or if a question is directed to me, but I am cc’ed on so many emails. (I’m in house counsel, and this morning I was cc’ed on an email about a low battery in our office alarm system. Operations will figure this out.)

      Put as many bills as you can on autopay so the lights stay on. If the overdue bills are invoices for services, I honestly let them stack up for a while and pay everything in the stack at once every couple of months.

      Use paper plates (recycled paper), and put your silverware and pots and pans in the dishwasher. Just for a while.

      I don’t know how to make the laundry go away. I did start doing laundry on Thursdays and folding it on Fridays, so it’s done for the weekend. I can’t do that every week (it’s not done now), but it’s glorious when I do.

      1. +1 to all that

         Also on personal email, I aggressively unsubscribe to everything that comes on a mailing list. If you can’t unsubscribe, at least generously use email filters to move the low priority stuff to a folder other than your inbox. .

   4. Pick a day for bills. I like the 1st of the month. I have a folder of bookmarks with all of the bills I need to pay on the 1st of the month, and I open up all of the bookmarks at once and go through them one by one. You can do autopay for the easy ones where you know you’ll have the money and don’t need to pay attention to how much the bill is.

      I’m a horrible correspondent and don’t like emails. I’ll text with friends back and forth but never feel the need to respond asap.

      If you’re really overwhelmed by dishes buy a stack of paper plates so you don’t have to do dishes. I know some moms of small kids who’ve done this and it makes it easier.

      1. Unsubscribe is a fools errand. Get Gmail and use the folder sorting feature. Then just check your main folder.

   5. Can you set aside a time block every day to deal with the annoying communications and life admin stuff? That way you don’t feel like you have to respond in the moment, which I agree is a huge distraction.

      Lots of commiseration. I don’t even have as much going on as you do, and I struggle to keep up with the various things that come my way!

   6. I don’t remember where I read this, so I’m sorry I can’t credit their idea, I think it might have been How to keep house while drowning (which I highly recommend for your situation), but I’m not sure:

      When you have a lot of things to juggle, everything can seem important and you don’t want to drop anything. But some of your juggling balls are made from glass, and some are made of plastic. The glass ones may shatter if you drop them, but the plastic ones will be fine! You can pick them up later. Identifying which of your balls are made from glass can help you focus on those and drop the rest.

   7. Email: use sorting features like focus for outlook and google tabs.
      Texts: do them once a day in the evening unless urgent and use mark as unread to not forget to respond.
      Work chatter: play by ear, keep an eye out for high priority people and respond accordingly, let others go
      Clothes: pick a capsule to wear for the week and limit your options. Have a couple of go-to outfits to limit decision fatigue.
      Bills: autopay and annually pay when you can to reduce monthly bills. Use one credit card.

   8. This sounds INCREDIBLY counterintuitive when we are busy and overwhelmed. I try to set a timer for 7 minutes alone – if I have to, I get in my car in my PJs and drive down the block- and sit in the quiet. Not looking at my phone, not talking, kids are not invited to sit with me (though they can do it on their own!), I try to pull my attention from stress to peace. I was very bad at it for 2 weeks and slowly got better.

      Then, I pare down to absolute necessities. Delete or aggressively folder or delay anything that does not REQUIRE me to take an action. Punt every not actually required or due item at work for 2-6 months. Do zero extra things at home, PTA, etc for a month until my home is more in order. (Do the first 3 steps in a slob comes clean.)

      I give myself some grace but 10-20 minutes per day can go a LONG way when you are paring down to absolute necessary life tasks. We must have clean underwear. We can re wear jeans.

      If you and DH can stomach the training, Kids can learn how to do laundry and dishes by around age 6. (No, not how to wash crystal or a crockpot, thorough hand -washing / putting their own in dishwasher.)

      You will get through this.

   9. The only method that has worked 100% is to hire help.

      You can make small changes like autopay bills (I use my credit card for this) but my home is a mess if I don’t have help. Housekeeper for the homes and an assistant for the correspondence. Yes it costs money but that’s also why it works.

   10. Get check for ADHD if you have challenges with executive functioning. Its not that hard for most people.

5. Last week you were super helpful on my backyard question. Can you indulge me in another? There is a landing area on the top of my stairway the size of a small bedroom with a double window on one wall. The kids, bedrooms, bath and playroom are up here, aside from my office the entire floor is for the kids. What should I do with this space?it’s become a bit of a dumping ground because I never had a plan for it. I’m thinking bookshelves and a cozy chair or two? I could do a window seat bookshelves thing but it would be super pricey and probably not for our scandi minimalist vibe. The kids are 9 and 4 and do homework downstairs and keep their toys in the playroom. Help?

   1. We had something similar – I called it a “fat hallway” when we moved in, which was just off the stairs and adjacent to the hallway to upstairs bedroom & single bathroom. When we had it, we put a seat and bookshelves; prior owners had a computer desk (but who actually uses computer desks any more?) – it always felt like a weird undefined space. When we did some home remodeling, we dormered out the roof to turn that space into an additional bathroom, and truly do not miss the weird extra space. FYI in case something like that may work for your long term plans.

      1. Thanks. I think we might have similar layouts. This house must sound huge and I swear it’s not. Now my wheels are turning that it should maybe be another bedroom and bath.

   2. I’d make it a workout space!

      1. Add some plants and mats/bolsters and make it a yoga/meditation space. Maybe with a folding screen if it needs to be separated from the stairs.

   3. If you have any bulky things like a foosball table, that might be the spot for it. Or perhaps a video game setup for when they’re into that.

   4. as a plant person I’d love that double window if it gets good light!

      love the bookshelves and cozy chair, or the yoga mat idea.

      1. Thanks! I’m willing to get a plant or two. Im not a yoga person and my husband keeps his yoga stuff in the room off our bedroom (sigh..another design project question for another Friday afternoon.) thanks to everyone!

   5. Ideas: reading nook, desk area for a pretty office space, think fun desk and pretty chair where you can journal; lean into the kids area and make a crafting space

6. In light of current circumstances, I am considering purchasing a new fridge. I have never bought one myself. Nothing fancy, but are there features I should be very concerned about and willing to pay for? What do you like or hate in a fridge? Is there a brand everyone swears by (in the normal price range).

   1. Our fairly young fridge died last year (due to a power surge while we were out of town, I don’t think it was a manufacturing defect) but the fridge repair guy told me to never buy a Samsung and says he has more calls about Samsung than all the other brands combined.

   2. Freezer on the bottom is a must! I dislike ice makers built into the fridge as I am not an ice person, I know I am the exception on that.

      1. I think you are me. I absolutely would not buy a refrigerator with the water dispenser and ice maker on the front. An internal ice maker is fine even though I don’t use much ice, but I hate the ones on the outside.

      2. Ice makers and in door water dispensers are the most likely things to break, so it makes sense to avoid them. But I’m also not an ice person, so that’s easy for me to say.

         On the other hand, I hate hate hate freezer on the bottom, and can’t wait until the fridge that came with our house gets old enough to replace with a top freezer, though I know those are somewhat uncommon these days.

         1. Adding after reading the post below that maybe what I hate the most about our freezer on the bottom is that it’s drawers, not shelves and a door, which makes it impossible to ever find anything. But I think that’s most freezer on the bottom models? The produce bins in the fridge are also tiny, like half the size of the ones in most of my previous fridges, which is another constant annoyance.

            1. We had a fridge once with double doors, so fridge and freezer both got shelves. It was just as useless as the big drawers.

               We got a stand-alone freezer when we moved to the burbs and I love it. Bins and organizers are still essential but we can generally find stuff.

   3. My personal opinion on fridges
      1. water and ice makers are unsanitary, AVOID
      2. counter depth looks much nicer, no pudgy appliances.
      3. freezer drawers are easier than shelves.
      4. fridge on top freezer on bottom.

      1. I agree with all of these. I prefer French door fridges.

         Ice makers in the door are also terrible if you ever have kids visiting your house, because they will spill the water and not pick up ice cubes, and then you step in a cold puddle and have to change your socks. My mom’s is conveniently broken every time we stay with her.

         1. oh, and adding, ours is LG and has two features I really like: fully adjustable “spill safe” shelves, and a deli drawer on the bottom.

            We briefly shopped for a new fridge within the last year when we thought ours was on the fritz (a restart fixed it. everything is a computer now) and there are so many features that seem totally useless to me. I do not need a beverage center or a built-in water pitcher. I do not need a smart fridge. I do not need the door to turn transparent/show me a screen of what’s in the fridge without me opening it.

            1. wait, I lied, it’s Frigidaire. it’s 10 years old and still kicking.

   4. I really hate my Kitchen Aid brand, so not that. To be honest I’d probably buy a cute one like a GE Cafe.

      1. We have a love the Cafe line. It looks great and is well designed on the inside too.

   5. Generally people say to avoid Samsung. We almost ignored the advice and got one, because it seemed higher quality and a better layout than other options (less flimsy plastic feeling, better door handles, etc), but then I recalled my ILs have had ongoing issues with theirs.

      GE is generally solid, and probably where we’ll focus. Our current GE (came with the house) is 20 years old and still working!

      1. I’ve now had two GE Profile fridges due to a move. Both have lasted well, but I would get get them without the water/ice dispenser if I could. All of our service calls (probably 3 over 10 years) have been due to that stupid dispenser. I tolerate it for my husband’s sake.

      2. I’ve had a GE (icemaker in the freezer but no dispenser in the door) in my rental house for 10 years now with no problems at all.

   6. I despise SubZero. I mean, it looks great, but it doesn’t do a good job of keeping things cold. And it is by no means reasonable, but I post this partly because normal brands just gotta be better than this.

      1. I love sub zeros, I’m just too poor to have my own so I admire the one my parents and other rich family have

      2. My experience has been awesome. Stuff stays good longer in my sub zero fridge than my mom’s and I’m buying us the same stuff. Fwiw my cousin sells appliances and he echoes what the first poster said re: Samsung.

      3. There was a Subzero in the house when we purchased it and it was the only thing that fit in the space so we replaced it with a new Subzero. I despised both.

      4. I like my Subzero. It was purchased by a prior owner in 2005 and is still working well. It keeps everything cold so I wonder if there’s something wrong with the Subzero another poster complained about? But I would say this — one of Subzero’s selling points is that they are supposedly better at keeping things cold because they close much more tightly than others. That’s why they don’t do French doors (or so I’ve heard). But people are going to open a fridge multiple times a day so this selling point seems more hypothetical to me than real.

   7. I let DH pick out our basement fridge and it is awful because it has wire shelves. bottles and cans just fall over. you want a flat shelf. he also spent way too much somehow. should have waited for a scratch and dent model or going out of business sale.

      1. edit to add I read this as you getting a 2nd fridge to like stock up on food before prices hike. but re-reading I don’t think that’s what you meant lol…

         1. Ha. If I had room, I’d get a second fridge or a stand-alone freezer. I’m a big fan of buying in-season produce and freezing, or freezing extra herbs and such. I’m one person but keep a lot on hand. If there really is a crisis, I will be feeding my posse and the neighborhood or selling goods from the side door.

   8. I like our basic freezer-on-top Fridgidaire without an icemaker nor water in the door. It has glass shelves that are easy to clean, there is very little to break (because we never installed the icemaker), and it does its job well. We also had a very narrow space that it needed to fit and was one of the only options available, and 10 years later it’s not been fussy at all.

      I do prefer counter-depth fridges but am not a fan of the bottom freezer drawer style. I really don’t like the fact that drawers like that introduce an additional failure point, and don’t like digging through drawers for things on the bottom. However, we also have a separate upright deep freezer, so the fridge freezer is just bonus space in our kitchen.

   9. Make sure that it will fit your space, study the diagrams too see how much space you need to be able to open the doors fully, and open drawers and remove shelves fully to clean.

      I had to exclude a lot of options with curved doors.

      Don’t get something that connects to water, those will have obvious weaknesses.

7. We have what should feel like a large house but it just seems to have a lot of fat in the layout vs useable spaces. Like stairs are graceful and 4 feet wide. A hallway that is also “fat.” How wide does a hallway need to be? Maybe it needs a vignette or some decoration but I am stumped. It could be a 2000 sq foot house based on functional rooms but is more like 3000 sq foot of fat spaces. And because it was built before A/C, it has windows and doors everywhere, so wall space is precious at times and it feels oddly cluttered.

   1. I am in a 1960s house where everything feels tight! The bathroom doors are 24” (some guests have to turn sideways to get in), the bathrooms themselves are narrow, the upstairs hallway is like 1.5 people wide (I’d love to be able to put art on the walls but we’d just knock it off), etc. I would love everything to be a little fatter – there is something calming about having extra white space and not cramming every square foot with a room. I guess the grass is always greener!

   2. we have a house like this. I love the airiness without being open concept. I always want furniture that has drawers/storage. DH’s dresser is in the hall because the hall is so wide.

   3. I have a similar new build and I hate how much “wasted” space it feels like. Like of a total of 2000 sq feet, I feel about 800sq feet of my house is simply wasted in “alleys”. I routinely dream of breaking the walls but the layout is so shit that even that wouldnt make sense.

   4. Wide hallways and doorways are helpful for aging in place (assuming the rest of the home is suitable for that.) If I had a long hallway I’d opt for a series of pendant lights and an antique runner.

      1. Also if it’s your vibe, finish work, like paneling, is gorgeous in a hallway.

         1. I would ba careful about paneling unless you spend money on good stuff, I can spot the MDF a mile away and it’s not good.

            1. I agree. The proportions also need to be correct. But when done right it’s beautiful.

         2. My husband is handy and he put fancy baseboards and door moldings in our long hallway and it realy made a huge difference.

            1. Sounds beautiful!

      2. This! Have you ever had to walk using a walker? Or used a wheelchair? Planning to age in place is important.

   5. One of my friends has a house just like this – we live about a mile apart both in houses built in the 1930s, but her’s has all the spacious hallways, staircases etc and mine is the no-space-wasted designs of the 1930s. This is not a terribly useful suggestion, but if you don’t already – throw some parties! It might make you appreciate your house more ha. I am so jealous of how she can have clusters of people talking in the halls, all the little alleys, etc and it legit doubles the number of people she can comfortably host for a party vs. us.

   6. The absolute bare minimum width required by most residential building codes is 36 inches, but that’s TIGHT. Ideal is at least 48 inches.

      1. I’m 1960s narrow house above, and I just measured my upstairs hall at 33.5”. Good to know I’m not imagining how tight it feels!

   7. Look for the “not so big house” architecture books. A couple of decades old so the style is different but the principles still apply.

8. Hi ‘rettes,
   Long time reader (ca. 2011), third time poster.

   I’m in search of recs for a divorce attorney in the Chicago area. I’m still in the exploratory phase but I want to consult with an attorney and get my ducks in a row, just in case. Would be a divorce with children involved. Thanks y’all!

   1. No recs, but HI!! I am from that era too…was just graduating law school around then.

9. My neck always hurts when I do Pilates or ab floor work – I’ve tried relaxing and just looking at the ceiling but I still tweak my neck too often. Any tips? Thank u!

   1. You can put a small block under your head.

   2. Place your hands behind your head to provide light support

   3. Modify the exercises to keep your head flat on the floor. Correct form and targeting the right muscle groups is better than doing a more challenging posture with bad form.

   4. My neck used to get similarly strained. One thing I adjusted over time was not thinking of it as lifting my head off the floor, but engaging through my core to lift my shoulders. My head comes along for the ride, but I try not to think anything about it. The focus on lifting my upper shoulders really helps me engage my core to lift me up rather than just cranking my long neck up.

10. Why post about sales that ended two days ago?

    1. Why be bitchy over an obvious copy/paste fail on a Friday night?

       1. Too much wine there?

11. Referencing a thread from a few months ago about shows that stand the test of time, this is a sweet article about the actor in Psych and his use of Val Kilmer’s acting roles as his muse: https://www.vulture.com/article/psych-star-james-roday-rodriguez-val-kilmer-influence-interview.html?utm_source=nymag_app_article_share

    1. That’s lovely – thanks for posting this!

12. Does anyone have an inexpensive walking pad they would recommend? Due to some complex health issues I would like to try using one for a bit before committing to something pricier. It’s for slow walking only.

    1. This works for me. I bought a pad to go underneath.

       1. Oops, here’s the link: Yagud Under Desk Treadmill,… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C3QY37Y8?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

       2. Thank you!

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