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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Bow-Neck Knitted Sweater

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A woman wearing a red bow-neck sweater and dark blue jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This sweater might be a little too twee for some folks, but I’m really loving the built-in bow and gorgeous red color. Actually, let me correct myself. It’s from Boden, so it’s a “jumper.” I would keep this in my closet to lift my mood on a day when I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

The red color would look lovely with camel, navy, or just about any neutral, but I have a pair of light pink pants that are waiting patiently for this to show up at my door. 

The sweater is $140 at Boden and comes in sizes XS-XL. It also comes in camel, ivory, and black. 

Sales of note for 9/11:

253 Comments

  1. Anyone regret donating/throwing clothes that you habd outgrown (body or style)? I have some mini and bodycon dresses that I just don’t expect to wear ever again. I have young nieces, no kids, debating whether to save a couple totes in case they want to explore them. Worth keeping, or donate?

    1. Generally, no. Stuff I wasn’t wearing b/c it wasn’t my size, I don’t miss (and I’ve never retained any former smaller size). If it’s party pieces not worn due to lifestyle, I miss the party and could always find a new outfit. Not enough parties in 2026.

      My nieces have never wanted anything I’ve had (silk DVF wrap dresses, etc.). One daughter borrows things from time to time.

    2. Unless they’re iconic brands from the era a la Herve Leger Bandage Dress… let them go. My only regrets have been from not doing this sooner and allowing the stuff to clutter up my life, having learned the hard way that no, just because I lost or gained that 15 pounds does not mean I want to wear the clothes from that size that I had in 2016.

    3. Personally, I’d donate. Reasons:
      • I don’t want to store stuff for years in the hope that somebody, someday might be the exact right size/height at the exact right life stage and turn out to want it and value it the way I did.
      • I’ve decided that on the off-chance I do regret something, it’s not the end of the world. Regret can be just a passing emotion; the threat of possibly feeling it doesn’t need to govern my decisions. Besides, it’s just regret over clothing. Pieces of cloth.

      1. +1, also, I’d rather regret donating than have all the boxes of stuff stored indefinitely. I don’t have the space for that.

    4. Yes – few but yes
      – red suede skirt from Kenneth Cole, 2002
      – button-up shirt with red and brown stripes, also 2002
      – off-white leather peplum top, Theory, 2006?
      – formal BCBG dress that I wore to my brother’s wedding, 2010
      – a few more formal dresses
      The stuff that I miss is high quality. I keep a lot of formal wear and costume-y pieces (including old dance costumes!) and those get rotation on Halloween, and my kids have used old minidresses (including some of my mom’s from the 70s!) for decade days at school, etc.

      2. Agree. I miss things I bought at Loehmann’s for ridiculous prices that are just not made anymore. A pair of wool flannel silk lined trousers comes to mind…. But generally other than that 1 pair of pants, no regrets. I do save the banana republic dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner in hopes one day I’m a size 6 again!

    5. My stepmother has given me some stuff from her fab-u-lous life in the 90s as a banker in London, and unfortunately, as much joy as it brings me to see it in my closet, I have never worn it because the cut and style are outdated. I don’t know which way this cuts – maybe keep it if it’s very expensive, but if it’s just run of the mill, definitely toss.

      1. Fabulous earlier London like Patsy from AbFab? Or too try-hard like Eddy Monsoon? I’d take either though.

      2. and if the items have synthetic (especially elastic) materials, they can break down and be unwearable even if the style works.

        1. Yes, I have personally experienced this for some favorites that have aged-in-place in the back of my closet. (Sigh)

    6. Eh, your nieces are going to have their own tastes and style. And there’s no guarantee that your stuff would fit them, even if they like it. Just donate it and move on.

      1. Based on my daughter’s experience: If you try to give your nieces your old clothes, they will accept some items and express gratitude out of a sense of obligation, then feel guilt that they don’t actually want the things you were so kind to save for them, and annoyance that the things are taking up space in their closet but they can’t get rid of them because they were a gift from you.

        Please do not put them in this position.

        1. Is dress up closet the way to go? I have all my nieces for a full weekend every 6-8 weeks. I take them to soccer/softball/music lessons. They regularly comment on my wardrobe because their own parents generally rock very athleisure attire. My goal is NOT to cause them any guilt. I have some pieces from my own biological and non-biological aunties (some I wear, some I just think are fun) and I am grateful I have those. Item examples: Lacoste tennis dress, vintage (grandma)’s chevron maxi skirt, sparkly mini dresses, concert Ts. Not jeans. My own waistline has grown and I’m OK with that, not trying to force them into anything!! I think they might have fun wearing them and don’t mind keeping the items if there’s a chance they want to explore them, but absolutely don’t want them to feel pressured.

          1. A dress-up closet at your house where they can choose pieces and ask for them on their own initiative is much lower pressure than “let’s sit down and go through my old clothes and you can pick what you want.”

          2. A dress up box that the kids in question actually get access to regularly is the only reason I would save this type of clothing.

            My grandma had an old trunk with random outfits like this. My cousins and I spent hours playing with them, lots of good memories. They were real clothes my aunts and uncles had left behind as they grew up and moved out, but none of it was going to be of interest (or in style) by the time the cousin cohort was the right size to wear them for real.

          3. The guilt concern is overblown, you can tell your nieces they’re free to donate or sell anything and they don’t need to feel guilty about that. I’d rather have the option than have someone think they were “burdening” me. A lot of agita can be solved through communication.

          4. Dress up closet is the way to go if you have the space! My mom and I both saved some clothes in my old bedroom closet, and my daughter, who is quite the tomboy style-wise, LOVES trying on our old clothes as she has grown into them and then playing in them, or just trying them on for a “photoshoot” and some giggles with us. She did end up taking two dresses home when she was in 4th grade because she ended up actually liking them and asking if she could wear them–she got another few church/school event wears in!
            We do not pressure her to take or try anything, we usually all three set aside some time to dig through the boxes every few visits, and once she has outgrown something we saved, we get rid of it. But we have made new fun memories with this dress-up closet, and those small joys have been worth the storage space over time.

    7. Things I save have sentimental value to me or were just so cool, I can’t bear to give it away (examples, my wedding dress and rehearsal outfits and shoes, a fur coat from my grandmother, a fabulous leather jacket). This gets no more than 1/20th of my closet space and I love having it. These items also sometimes come out to play (besides my wedding dress) so they’re still technically in use, even if infrequent. Everything else I donate without hesitation. I did regret giving away vintage Prada heels, but found a better pair on eBay when I was having a moment of real sadness over that.

    8. No, because I weigh a lot less than when I was younger so I wouldn’t be able to wear them. Maybe some shoes.

      I do have some of my grandmother’s things that I wear that are vintage. Really only outerwear though.

  2. Amazon just updated its terms of service to include binding arbitration of “ ANY DISPUTE OR CLAIM RELATING IN ANY WAY TO YOUR USE OF ANY AMAZON SERVICE, OR TO ANY PRODUCTS OR SERVICES SOLD OR DISTRIBUTED BY AMAZON OR THROUGH AMAZON.COM.” Amazon is about to begin drone delivery in our neighborhood. Is it really possible that this broad language means that if a drone drops someone else’s package on my house or my dog or my kid and I happen to have an Amazon account, I will lose my right to sue? Or will courts interpret this language only to apply to tr—-actions where I am a party?

    1. Is Amazon even going to be the owner of the drones? Or once it is tested, all drones are leased out to third party delivery LLCs who have their own drivers and everyone is underinsured, so if you do sue and win, you win an LLC with a lot of judgments against it and a bunch of leased drones to pay for? Because that’s how delivery on land seems to work. Look at the placards on the back of the delivery vehicles.

        1. You’re right; that was an unfairly cynical comment.

          But my real answer is, I don’t think it’s a “briefcase full of cash” situation; but I don’t think it’s blind justice either – I do think there’s a lot of the elite doing subtle favors for each other, I think the appointment of federal judges is one of those favors, and I think large companies know & focus on getting their case in a district with an amenable judge (see: Purdue Pharma bankruptcy); to an extent that I have little confidence in the judicial system’s ability to actually deliver justice (where large corporations are concerned). My thinking has changed a lot on this over the last ten years.

          1. Some book recently argued for bringing back chancery courts more broadly (on general equal =/= equitable reasoning if I understood without having read the book).

      2. You would be surprised, there are as many anti-Amazon/big corporation judges out there that act unfairly the other way. Judges are human and many (most?) come with their own pre-conceptions and some (all?) cannot always get out of their own way.

    3. This reminds me of the recent case where Disney tried to impose arbitration on man who brought a wrongful death suit against a restaurant. The arbitration clause was in a Disney+ subscription and a theme park ticket, but the restaurant was outside the park. Disney dropped it eventually because of the outrage. I thought they had lost in court, but Google tells me they just dropped it. So, ya’ know, your concern is not out of the realm of possibility.

    4. My last purchase was in November of 2025. I have since signed out on all my devices, deleted the app, and somehow manage to remain a functioning member of society. It’s quite lovely.

      1. But in OP’s scenario, she’s not Amazon’s customer, just their hurt neighbor.

        1. She is Amazon’s customer in unrelated transactions, or at least has an Amazon account.

      2. Signing out of your devices and deleting the app does nothing to delete your data from their systems or terminate your contractual relationship with them, btw. But there are steps you can take to do both if you want to.

        1. The fact that it is possible to live life without using Amazon was the point. This was not a claim or pretense that TOC don’t apply because I ignore the company.

          4. GAH!! Autocorrect ironically stepped in. This should have been:

            12:15, I agree. 12:50 – you might want to get that stick up your butt looked at.

          5. I’m the person you’re replying to, and my, what a silly cat fight happened below my comment! I was just letting you know you could take additional steps if you wanted to, not prosecuting you for failing to effectively terminate a relationship with a company or however you took it.

    5. We have had successful claims when their drivers back over our landscaping. I would do the same for drones or robots.

  3. Has anyone gone down the road of “is it mild cognitive impairment or early dementia” with a loved one before? And does it matter which it is? Speaking as a history major, with no medical training, it seems that for many places and situations (assisted living facilities, dealing with powers of attorney, etc.), having a diagnosis of dementia closes some doors but just “mild cognitive impairment” is just treated as part of aging (so Uncle Gregor, who used to fly jets, has a hard time in the airport if Cousin Lise isn’t there with him, but can do all ADLs on his own, but his bills are all on auto-pay and who knows how he’d be without that (true for any of us though now that no one writes checks)). But I don’t know what I don’t know (and I also don’t know how to get a real sense of what is going on here). Where do I start and what sort of doctor would really know?

    1. I went down this road with myself in my thirties, and it was a treatable condition. I wonder if I’d have ever been diagnosed if I’d been older, or if it would have been treated as part of aging! It also took a lot of advocacy with the healthcare system to get anywhere, some of which I really needed loved ones to do for me because of my symptoms at the time. So cognitive impairment is sometimes treatable.

      If it is really aging or dementia, geriatrician is the medical specialty for aging. There are also social workers that specialize in geriatrics. When I searched to find a link for you the first result was AARP, which is not a bad place to start.

      1. My symptoms were things like not being able to follow the steps to make coffee successfully, getting lost driving and getting confused just trying to operate the car, trouble reading difficult materials or in second languages, trouble finding words, not remembering things that had happened recently, and getting disoriented or lost easily.

    2. My mom’s dementia was diagnosed and is now monitored by a neurologist, so I would start there. They will be able to determine whether testing is warranted and how to determine whether it’s vascular dementia, Alzheimers, etc.

    3. My dad has self-referred to neurology because he feels like he’s getting forgetful. I think it’s too much time on his ipad and maybe a hearing issue? But I’m not a useful kind of doctor. They are doing some baseline tests but think he’s probably fine.

      1. My father is further down that road. If you can, convince your father to get a hearing test and then actually wear a hearing aid (if indicated). I’m confident that the cognitive impairment we’ve seen in my father is partly the result of social isolation resulting from hearing loss

    4. Get all your legal documents including wills and trusts done before any diagnosis. I’m not sure what benefit it serves, frankly. The real question is what care do they need and how to fund it.

      1. YES to this. Once he has a diagnosis, your (and his) options are limited because he is considered incompetent to contract.

        1. But having a dementia diagnosis isn’t a conclusive verdict on competence, is it? This is where I wish that law and medicine talked to each other more (for this age/stage of life and also for adults with developmental disabilities, some of whom are not severely impaired and may be working adults with funds that they need to administer vs a different population where another adult needs to manage benefits and aid programs and handle medical care). If there is a good article or book on this I’d love to have it.

          2. And theoretically, competence is not just a single binary variable. You can be competent to make certain decisions while being incompetent to handle other matters.

    5. Start with the PCP for a quick dementia test. (A worksheet.)

      Re: living facilities, what you want to find is a facility that offers “step up” care. That means the person starts in the regular assisted living wing when they still have that level of awareness, but that when dementia advances and more care is needed, it’s just a quick apartment change to a different wing with more advanced caregivers, different activities, and different security protocols to keep patients from wandering off.

      1. This is a very rosy view, the apartment changes can be a big hassle and the increases in care are an absolute fortune at a decent facility. The primary question is figuring out how to pay for this and when to go. There’s a lot of fear about not having a spot these places push, but people die daily and there’s always room.

        1. It’s not a rosy view, it’s a simplified answer for the purposes of a public message board. Yes, I know there’s a lot involved in changing apartments – I’ve been there, done that, got the merit badge, three dang times. But changing apartments is a helluva lot easier than changing facilities, which was the crux of my post by telling OP to look for facilities that include step-up care.

          OP didn’t ask about money, and of course money is a huge concern, but that wasn’t the point of this post.

          Not every comment has to address every contingency! It’s a message board!

    6. Having worked with the elderly for several years, I would start with their PCP to rule out a urinary tract infection. Untreated UTIs can cause some wild symptoms.

    7. Also make sure it’s not hearing. My dad was very convinced that his Parkinson’s was getting worse and he was cognitively declining and it turns out that when he got hearing aids and actually wore them, he wasn’t. There are well documented correlations between hearing loss and cognitive decline.

    8. If you’re thinking about life insurance/retirement care/getting POA & lawyer stuff done, get that done first. A diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment makes the first 2 basically impossible, and the latter a bit harder.

      Then and only then, ask to go to talk to their primary care doctor with them. You may need a referral to neurology to rule out temporary things that could be treated.

      Dementias tend to be progressive in a jagged sort of way- overall a slow decline, but with good days and bad days, which makes it hard to know if there’s a new deficit or if its just a bad day. My mother developed dementia very young and started wandering before we realized what was going on. I wish we’d gotten a GPS watch on her earlier. Getting help online sooner rather than later is something I wish I’d done earlier.

    9. At a very basic level you can give them a quick mini mental exam. Pass with flying colors? Continue your investigation. Get points off? You know you have a problem.

      Also, what is the purpose of knowing? FWIW my FIL was clearly on a decline for some time. I pushed hard for a formal dx only so we could take his keys. beyond that, nothing much changed until he went off a cognitive cliff.

    10. i was posting a few months ago about my 76yo mom and sudden personality changes. we wound up having to force her into the hospital because she woudln’t get tested, and they couldn’t find anything obvious like a UTI. but we changed a lot of her meds (dosages/switching to things that could avoid interactions — watch out for glaucoma drops because people always forget about those!) and started her on zoloft and she’s so, so, so much better. she’s still not 100% “back” but maybe 85%? i’m so grateful for this extra time i get with her.

      (one thing that no one took seriously at the time because of her age, but – it could have been long covid. that’s still around and she had just had her first case of it a few months prior.)

  4. It was fun to see myself quoted in Kat’s post about business development! This is a good conversation for us to have over and over again. I mentor attorneys in this area in real life too. I am surprised there isn’t more engagement in the comments but go take a read if you’re working on this in your career.

    1. Because those are old, recycled posts often just taking one comment o ones that into and trying to make fetch happen.

      3. Those recycled posts are so weird. Like, does Kat not realize how off putting they are? It seems worse than not posting at all to “update” an ancient post with comments from 12 years ago still attached.

        1. I’m assuming they are SEO fodder somehow and will sometimes open the comments just to see what we were talking about 15 years ago… but otherwise ignore them.

  5. Does speech to text just not work or not work for some people? Someone who regularly texts me has (I think) started using it and it is like getting messages from a hallucinating drunk person. How would you say something like “did you proofread this or are you hitting the sauce early?”

    1. In one case in my friend group this was literally carbon monoxide poisoning, so just throwing that out there.

      In another case they were having vision issues and weren’t proofreading successfully.

    2. I think it sometimes doesn’t like my accent. Our smart device only understands my husband. Someone was giving me a lift once, and I was the only one who the GPS would understand (all very strong Scottish, versus my Californian).

      2. Yes- my husband has an accent and speech to text is baffled by him. Speech to text also struggles with my higher register, soft voice.

      3. Like those TV skits, with the two Scotsmen stuck in an elevator because it doesn’t understand their accents. One even tries to use an American accent…

    3. I have a family member like this. I can usually figure it out, but if not I just write back and respond to what I can and say I didn’t understand the part about the pizza at the airport, or whatever nonsense came through. For my family member, it’s because of arthritis and because she loves to talk and has no incentive to be brief when dictating, hahaha

      1. This. Also no, they probably aren’t checking, I text a lot from the car this way and I’m not proofing things. It’s efficient and everyone knows it’s going to have errors, my friends aren’t my English teachers.

        1. I feel like I get a LOT of stuff like this and it’s so garbled that I am not going to make an effort when I get out of a meeting to 10+ garbled texts. Speech to text is the 2026 nuisance reforwarded e-mail.

        2. I’m used to getting voice texts when friends are driving.

          But DH texts a lot from the car for work, and the car reads it back to him, so he still has a chance to correct it if it at least sounds wrong (I realize there are soundsalike errors but those are usually obvious).

          1. That’s a setting, I found it too annoying and turned it off. People are used to a weird text and again, it’s just efficient.

          2. Or some people are annoyed by your texts, but you prioritize your not being annoyed over theirs?

          3. Yeah, I do prioritize myself here. Sorry, we probably aren’t friends because none of mine are bugged by this.

          4. I’m not annoyed by this from friends, but I think it would stand out in a bad way at work.

        3. Some people’s speech to text is so confusing you have no idea what they’re even trying to say. Sometimes I think their mic is too sensitive and it’s also picking up words from a conversation their kids are having in the back seat.

        4. at this point, doesn’t it make more sense to just send a voice message instead of transcribing it?

          1. nooooo that is the equivalent of leaving a voicemail. Just stop trying to text when you don’t have the time to read it before you send it.

          2. the part that I find annoying about getting a voicemail is not the audio format but the manner of retrieval. But most messaging apps now just give you the voice message straight.

    5. My voice to text in Carplay is atrocious. I have tried to retrain it multiple times, enunciate clearly, have it repeat back to me, and still send nonsense messages. I don’t use it for work anymore, but I do text close friends. They know I am driving. Lol.

    6. Even my typed text gets auto “corrected” to random stuff much of the time. I do proofread, confirm I typed what I meant to type, then when I hit send I can see it change to something completely unrelated, and often something that is offensive, worrisome, or otherwise bizarre.

      1. For good friends, I leave my texts as mad libs for them to solve with autocorrect fails. On talk to text, it works best when I treat it the same as if I was dictating a memo from my secretary – slow, deliberate pauses at the end of sentences, thinking before I speak.

        1. I don’t use talk to text, just typing. It’s really frustrating when it decides to change what I drafted to something else the instant I send. It was stable, I paused to read it, but something about hitting send makes it go haywire.

      2. I disabled autocorrect for this reason. And now people get texts with typos, a thing I much prefer to my words being changed.

    7. I expect close friends to read through typos. If you read “what time should we meet for lnch” and then ask me “huh?”, I’m gonna be annoyed.

    8. No one proofreads their speech to text. People generally use it while driving, so the whole point is they’re not looking at their phone.

    9. Read Invisible Women— speech to text was made for a man’s voice so doesn’t work as well for women. Stats are even worse for VR

  6. Reposting from a weekend thread:
    -I have a 2010 Toyota RAV4 and two soon to be teenage drivers. I have a highway commute.
    -Would you: get a 2026 RAV4 or Corolla Cross? Take the newer car on highway and have teenagers use 2010 RAV4 and have a backup camera installed? Or have them solely use the newer car?
    -Related, what car do you have and are you happy with it/what’s your dream car? I’d drive a Lexus if I had the $$ but otherwise a Toyota is fine (love seeing the Fiat Pandas on trips to Italy-fun cars.)

    1. I feel like when we shopped (got a CRV hybrid AWD, would consider RAV4 now also), the Cross had bad reviews and a not-great backseat for adult-sized teens. RAV4 would be more flexible.

      I have an Odyssey and teens learned on the smaller CRV, which I love to drive and which we use as newest family car for college visits (generally one adult and 1/2 kids) but use the van for family hauls when we also have dog with us. I still drive the van and prefer urban parking with the CRV.

      With $ not an option, for city driving (short trips, nothing over 40 mph): ideally older air-cooled manual 911 from the late 80s/early 90s. Would not take on highways. Or a VW Thing (convertible, manual). I love cars like that. Today, everything looks like a RAV, so hard to get excited about Lexus RAV or Cadillac RAV or whatever. Make cars stunning again.

      1. Yes, what is with so many cars looking exactly the same?! I’d love to get rid of my minivan, and yet nothing out there really excites me (beyond not being a minivan).

    3. Teens get the old car. Parents get the new car, preferably something fun. My vote is always a mini cooper.

      1. I gave my teens the newer car, largely because it didn’t have 15YO safety features and was substantially smaller than my car. They learned to drive on it and switching them to a larger car just because it’s paid off would serve no one. I’m an adult and can get a fancy car if I want to (but also want to not spend money I don’t need to with college costs looming). I will inherit “their” car once they are in college.

        1. This is where I land.

          I would also check insurance costs. I am willing to bet it would be cheaper, possibly a whole lot cheaper, to insure the teens as primary drivers on a car with modern safety features.

          1. Exactly the opposite in my experience. Our teen driver was only affordable to insure when we associated them with our oldest car. Presumably the insurance company knows it would cost them more to repair or replace a newer vehicle than an old clunker.

    4. Is there a third car in the mix? Assuming two parents, a 2010 RAV4, a newer car with backup camera and blind spot warnings and pedestrian detection, and a brand-new car, I would have the teens drive the newer car, give the old RAV4 to the parent with the shorter and less dangerous commute, and use the new car for the parent with the longer commute and as the main car when traveling as a family.

      When my teen was learning to drive, our older car was a 2012 with no backup camera that was prone to mechanical issues. She was only allowed to drive the newer car because it had a backup camera and was not likely to break down on the side of the road. Even though Toyotas are incredibly reliable, at some point after 100K miles and many years on the road there will be issues from wear and tear. Somewhere around 150K the water pump and then the alternator on my beloved 2007 RAV4 died. (We fixed both issues and kept the car until 250K miles.) I would not have wanted a new driver to experience either of those events.

      I would add a backup camera to the old RAV4 immediately no matter who is going to drive it.

    5. I posted this on the last thread, but I have a Corolla Cross and would not buy another one at current prices. I actually like the Corolla Cross because it handles like a smaller car, but the hybrid AWD version is now the same price as a hybrid AWD RAV4 and is much less powerful and a bit cramped inside. Our college kid is taking the Cross and the replacement parental car will be a RAV4.

    6. have times changed this much in 25 years? it was unheard of when I was a kid that the teens would get the new car as opposed to getting their parent’s ~10 yo hand-me-down to drive. Only the super wealthy families bought their 16yos their own brand new car!

      1. Yeah, this blows my mind. At least in my community in the Midwest, kids still get the older cars. Including mine. Even a 10- to 15-year-old car has safety features at this point.

        1. If my kid were driving in the midwest like her cousins, she’d be on a basic grid built after the arrival of cars. We live in an older actual city where people are insane, no one is paying attention, and there are too many wonky intersections (at our big exit off of our loop ring around the city center, you have to make a left-lane U-turn to continue on your way, which is insane, and do that while fighting merging traffic). No thank you. The safest car goes to the person most in need of safety. I can handle the 2011 minivan just fine for now. If it doesn’t bother me, IDK why it should bother you.

        2. Also in the Midwest, and agree. The new drivers get the old cars. Even a 15 year old car has things like air bags, anti-lock brakes, and backup lights, not to mention seat belts, safety glass, and defrost.

          I’m curious whether the divide comes down to how many miles of driving people with the opposing views do. I can see that someone like me, who puts 20,000 miles on a car in a year and whose teenage driver gets similar, would be more comfortable with fewer safety features because I have more driving experience than someone who clocks fewer miles.

      2. Around here (MCOL SEUS) the teens mostly seem to get the 6-year-old car their parents or grandparents would otherwise have traded in for a new one, or a slightly used or new small Corolla or Civic. Some do get a brand-new Jeep or Tesla or pickup truck. A very few get the ancient family minivan.

      3. 1000%

        Growing up at a very wealthy private school (class of 2011) and even there no one got the new car while the parents drove the old one!

      4. It’s the safety features that continue to evolve. The best safety features are a huge plus for inexperienced drivers.

        1. This doesn’t ring true to me. Backup cameras sure, but those have been around a long time. Otherwise I can’t think of one that makes a material difference.

        2. Maybe? But if the driver never learns to actually check their blind spot, they can lead to an overdependence on the car telling them it’s safe to change lanes when in reality, the sensors can’t always catch what eyes would see.

          1. I drove a ‘01 Camry until earlier this year. I got a 2026 with almost all the safety features as my replacement.

            I was traveling for work last week and had a rental car that didn’t have all of these features and realized I became way too reliant on them.

            I’m debating turning them off so I don’t get too reliant.

      5. yeah I feel very “kids these days” reading stuff like this, but I also assume its a class thing, because my parents didn’t even have new cars themselves when I was teenager, much less me.

        2. Yeah I”m super against this. I’m glad that the world is nicer to kids now, but this is way too far IMO

      6. Yeah, this blows my mind, too. I guess I get the desire for more and more modern safety features, but a 15 year old car is still going to have so many more features than anything I was driving when I was young (or, well, ever -my current car is 10 years old and pretty basic).

        To be fair, very few people at my high school had parents as well-off as many on this board, though.

    8. We gave the old cars to the kids (well maintained, we weren’t particularly worried about breakdowns) and kept the new cars for us. For the one car that was old enough that it didn’t have a backup camera, we did add one. We did it ourselves and it was fairly easy, but I’m sure you can have it done someplace if you’re not up for that.
      I understand that concern about the kids’ cars having the best available safety features. However, I want them to learn to pay attention and aside from the backup camera, we weren’t concerned about them not having things like parking sensors, etc. And more importantly, I’m not willing to drive the old car 20 miles each way to work every day while they drive a new car 2 miles to school!

      1. It’s funny, but my work commute is shorter than my kids’ commute. Urban living means that kids commute out now to giant high schools because there aren’t enough kids living close-in to warrant schools now.

    9. The backup camera is the most important safety feature that the 2010 doesn’t have, so I’d install one and give that to the teen.
      Between the 2, the RAV4 is awesome. It is much nicer than the older versions. I drove a rental AWD RAV4 on snow and ice going up a ski mountain and watched the 4WD trucks all around me slip and slide while the RAV4 handled it like a champ. It never lost traction, and we were all going the same speed.

      1. Replying to my own comment, a wise parent about 10 years ahead of me once advised that you should assume a new driver in our area (metro ATL) will total a car in his first year of driving. None of my kids actually did, but many of my friends’ kids did. Let him total the 16 yo car.

        1. You’d be surprised what totals a car, too. I was in an accident my second year driving that was by no means “bad” (no injuries to anyone) and despite the car having visible damage to just the front corner, it was declared totaled.

        2. To Metro ATL: give me your best advice for teaching teens to drive in an urban environment pls. The small grid part of our city isn’t insane, but everything outside of it seems to be filled with people trying to qualify for NASCAR races. No one is paying attention and the street design is crazy. I’m glad that I didn’t learn to drive here and it’s unpleasant / scary seeing it all from the front passenger seat with a new driver. The city buses do not really fit into their lanes and phone poles are too close to the road. And yet: this is on the streets from the route from home to school / church / job / activities. I never let them turn left without a turn lane and light and can now route myself anywhere making mostly right turns and with as few lane changes as possible.

          1. Our teenager recently learned to drive in LA. LA traffic is pretty crazy and there are lots of intersections and street-driving situations that are super weird or counterintuitive. Our surface streets are MUCH slower (generally speaking) than freeways so we spent most of our time at first on local roads. That helped, some, as did stressing that every other car or truck may be doing something bizarre at any minute.

        4. This is true based on my experience with my own new driver. And while I didn’t total a car as a new driver, three of my youngers siblings did, too.

    10. Just a heads-up that a 2026 RAV4 has a several month wait right now. I just bought one last week and we were “lucky” that the dealer just found out they were getting 3 at the end of October. Other dealers were saying it would likely be a 3-5 month wait. This also meant that we had no bargaining power given they are in such high demand. I have a 2014 RAV4 (which I love and it’s not the car I’m replacing) and the 2026 feels like a very big upgrade.

    11. I bought a low mileage certified pre-owned Lexus and saved a significant amount of $$$$. It was slightly more than a new RAV4, which is what I had originally wanted. 6 year warranty and when the car needs to be serviced, they pick it up from my house!

  7. I posted once before about dealing with a coworker who outsources every thought to Claude. Now it’s progressed to him pushing back (raised voices, tension) whenever he’s asked to do anything manually because he thinks it’s “not worth his time.” He literally yelled at our company president (and later apologized) when she said she did not want to use his Claude output and that he needed to do it himself. I’m torn between wanting to grab my popcorn and wanting him to quit and go work at some AI startup if he loves it so much.

    1. Ugh, he sounds insufferable.

      My latest cross to bear is that my leadership saw a message that went out from another higher-up and is just in love with how it read. Friends, I am a writer. It is at least 50% AI generated. This is what my job is becoming: interpreting what they love so much about what they read, when I can clearly tell it is slop.

        1. People with TikTok attention spans also like how dumbed down AI slop is. You can’t miss the main point when it’s bolded and set off with an em dash and a “Bottom line.”

        2. I suppose. My leader has so many thoughts running through her head at all times, and it shows up in how she writes. Then I’m trying to interpret what the heck she means so I can rewrite it clearly and concisely. I suppose AI cuts out the middle man (me). I can’t say that I love the end product, though. It’s creepily perfect, like the writer’s version of someone who has used too many injectables in their face.

        3. AI writing isn’t known for being clear. It’s usually too verbose, and it struggles with coherence (this is more apparent if you read every word and don’t just skim it; a lot of the statements are vague filler).

          AI writing is known for being sycophantic and emotionally manipulative. Some people respond really well to that!

          1. The filler language drives me insane, but my boss seems to like that. I’ve been trained to cut out filler from my writing and have been doing so for two decades at this point, so it’s been a real struggle to get our styles to mesh.

          2. I just don’t understand why all of you don’t seem to understand that AI is a sub for a first draft not a final product. You’re supposed to edit and fact check. But it helps you do things faster because you aren’t starting from scratch.

          3. OP here and the problem is that my Claude-dependent coworker now refuses to spend time manually checking things because he thinks it’s not worth his time and that we should just trust Claude.

          4. The problem, 11:53, is that we do understand this. The people who have outsourced their cognitive function to AI, however, either truly don’t understand or simply don’t care, leaving us to wade through the slop.

            And then their AI tools take all that slop as thought it was good output and uses it as a valid source to generate even sloppier results going forward.

        4. I do not find AI writing to be clear, and the fact-checking required of the reader is a huge waste of time.

    2. My boss has started setting impossible deadlines and telling me to just use AI to meet them. I’m job searching.

    3. A higher up at my company who loves Claude had it generate a proposal that was so bad that we ended up not applying for the grant at all. So it’s popcorn time here. By the time anyone else saw it it was too late to re-do what the higher up had supposedly been working on for weeks.

      1. We were subbing to a company that had that happen and they screwed us over since we couldn’t find a fresh partnership hours before the deadline. Wonder if it was yours :)

    4. There was a great article in the Economist that analyzed AI writing. The article compared pieces from the Economist with other news and fiction vs. major LLMs. They noted key differences in vocab types, rhetorical devices, and style. There are a few AI “tells” but a lot of what it produces is bland, pretentious, and overly long.

      Here’s a gift link: https://www.economist.com/culture/2026/07/30/how-to-spot-ai-writing?giftId=NjMzNzZhOGUtNTljMC00ZjM2LWFkOGYtZTM4OTljNDI1ZWZl&utm_campaign=gifted_article

  8. Low stakes questions for the day. What is your absolute favorite:
    1.) Beauty product
    2.) Make-up product
    3.) Haircare product
    4.) Lipstick

    1. Beauty product – Vitamin C, I use poems from the lab (I consider this tied with good sunblock in terms of efficacy)
      Makeup – Blush. I am not a loyalist to any particular brand though as I age I prefer cream blush set with powder blush for more staying power
      Haircare – Olaplex 4&5 and then 6&7 for styling. Sadly the new mist stinks, save your $$
      Lipstick – I prefer liptints, the Kbeauty ones are amazing – this list is spot on: https://www.allure.com/story/best-korean-lip-tints

    2. 1) Glycolic acid from the Ordinary for armpits
      2) Saie underye concealer
      3) Oribe shampoo and conditioner and styling cream
      4) Wonderskin lip tint + Hince lip gloss

      1. +1 to the Ordinary Glycolic acid, that stuff is a miracle worker. I dab it on zits with a q-tip, use it on my heels before lotion, use it on armpits and on chest/back for body acne in the summer.

    3. 1) I have used the same Clinique face wash for literally decades at this point. It’s my nighttime wash.
      2) I enjoy eyeshadow. Applying it is fun, a little like painting in a good way.
      3) The Tigi Small Talk thickening cream is the GOAT for my fine-textured short hair.
      4) Loreal Infallible lip gloss in Sangria. Have used it for yearssss at this point.

    5. 1- the entire May Lindstrom line. I cannot pick one but if it was pick one or death, I’d pick the Honey Mud.
      2-Juice Beauty’s Illuminating Primer. I don’t wear foundation any more and this gives me a little bit of evening out without being discernible.
      3- John Masters shampoo and conditioner. Alas, the brand is dead but I have a very large back stock.
      4-Sisley Paris Phyto Rouge Shine #12 Sheer Cocoa. It’s a very natural but polished look for me. I am a faintly olive toned Casper the Ghost Caucasian but I suspect this lip product of being universally flattering for anyone looking for a very natural looking but slightly there lip.

    6. Lip product- Nivea tinted lip balm in ruby tinted and burgundy tinted. Or Maybelline Baby Lips in Cherry Me. I’ve tried more expensive lip products (Clinique Almost Lilstick, for example) and have found them to either be too drying/don’t like the smell/etc.

    7. 1. Nail polish, preferably a deep, saturated cool raspberry color
      2. n/a
      3. Hibar volumizing shampoo
      4. Ethique lip stain

    8. 1.) Beauty: My CryoGlow led light mask – it’s improved the clarity of my complexion a lot and made my other beauty products more effective
      2.) Make-up: my stylist dyes my brows; if not, Anastasia tinted brow gel
      3.) Haircare: Davines This Is A Curl Building Serum
      4.) Lipstick: Charlotte Tillbury 90s Pink; Gloss: Jones Road lip recharge glossy treatment balm Pink Lilac

  9. I am so surprised that kids are so casually allowed to choose instruments in middle school. Like the life of a band parent and the life of an orchestra parent are so, so different. The life of a band instrument player (marching band, concert band, pit bands for plays) is so different than a string/orchestra instrument player. IMO band should be a sport and the parents should get letters, too. It is a family endeavor.

    1. At my HS, the string students were required to be in marching band also – they had to either learn a marching band instrument or be a flag / baton person!

        1. Where I grew up we (band kids, but the ones who were serious about music) were forced to be in marching band if we wanted to be in the other stuff we actually wanted to do (various honors bands, orchestras, festivals, etc). It sucked. If I want to play my horn, I want to play. If I want to work out, I will work out. Running around with my instrument is just doing both badly. There are people and marching bands who do both well. More power to them. It’s not my thing.

          1. My high school was like this, as were most others in my state at the time. A few extremely competitive kids just quit school music and accepted that they wouldn’t be eligible for honor groups. I don’t think those kids thought much of all-state anyway.

      2. How did they manage to practice all that? I was in high school band, but during marching band season, I was 100% flag line. Then back to my instrument once marching season was over.

        1. Both band and orchestra took up a class period each day (they alternated days) so you would be playing your ‘normal’ instrument during the school day. Most string players chose to be in the flag line vs. learning a second instrument, and practice for marching band & flags was after school.

      3. How does that work for the quarterback that also plays the violin? Or the soccer goalie who plays bass?

        2. In my experience, you can only do one of marching band, dance, cheer and football, because marching band, dance and cheer perform at all the home football games. You just have to choose one. There are football players and cheerleaders who play musical instruments, but they’re not in the marching band.

    2. Totally. I have one violin player and one saxophone player. Band is on another level of commitment for the family. I also find the strings parents to be insufferable and stuck up in the three times a year I see them, so give me the marching band families any day! String instruments are largely a solo endeavor with private lessons, even if the student plays in the school orchestra. Band is so much more communal, IMHO.

      1. If you play in chamber music or in a quartet, for example, it’s not a solo endeavor. I’m sure band is different in many ways. But this kind of parental self-imposed “competition” is obnoxious. Stop.

      2. It’s easier for something to be communal if it’s easier to learn and if the standards for what’s good enough are lower. I say this as someone who was in band.

        1. I don’t disagree with you! Like I said, I have one kid in each ensemble. There are definite differences. I don’t know what’s wrong about pointing it out.

          1. I feel like the sacrifice and effort of the strings players are prosocial in a different way! And the musicians have earned a different status at least compared to anyone I ever achieved in band. I’m sorry the parents are stuck up though.

      3. As a former orchestra kid with a band kid sibling, I totally agree that band is a lot more communal/social, and there are more stuck up parents in orchestra circles. But in my part of the world, there are plenty of strings kids that are also into folk/country music and the culture is much less stuck up, so I think regional differences can be quite large.

    3. Um, what? Parents don’t get letters for things their kids do, even when they work hard to enable their kids to do it. Many things are family endeavors, and if the point of this weird post is to argue that band takes more work/family scheduling than orchestra, then you are not only wildly misinformed but are creating a problem where there is none. Kids who do orchestra at high levels, like those who do band at high levels, have lots on their plate. There are plenty of kids who play trombone in the middle school band and it’s not a huge deal, and there are others who do more. Same with orchestra.

      Get over yourself.

      1. Oh, she means varsity letters? I thought she meant that parents of all sixth-graders choosing between the violin and the trumpet should get warning letters about the time commitment each instrument required in high school!

      2. Spoken like not a band parent. It’s one of those things (maybe like speech / debate) where your kid is not allowed to participate unless you also participate.

        If you want to see dedication, look at all of those band parents toting wagons as their kids do Mardi Gras parade after Mardi Gras parade and then summer band camp and then football season and then competitions and then it is epiphany again.

        For my orchestra kid, it’s all air conditioning and sitting in chairs and I see the other parents just when there are concerts (also sitting, also climate-controlled).

        1. Cool! Sounds like you win the parenting effort Olympics! Enjoy your varsity letter and trophy.

          2. This whole thread is miserable — the war over who is busier and who works harder is ugly and dumb.

    4. In our high school orchestra feeds the pit for plays, band feeds the marching band – though of course I’m sure either would take someone from the opposite if they had the appropriate skills. Both are optional extracurriculars for band or orchestra (which are for-credit courses, marching band and pit orchestra are not). Our middle school only has band and doesn’t introduce string instruments – those tend to be kids who started independently much younger.

    5. As a newly minted band parent (kiddo doing color guard) I totally agree that it’s a sport! She loves it and the community is wonderful but between rehearsal, football games, competitions, and special events it’s so busy!

      1. I genuinely miss doing color guard. So many good memories! I wish adult color guard could be a thing.

        1. I would love to do color guard now. It looks like so much fun. I actually think there may be community marching bands!

        1. Even when I was in high school 30 years ago, there were letters for non-athletic endeavors. Speech/debate, theater, and music, at least. Same holds true for my kids’ H.S.

    6. At my high school, band kids can “letter” in band because of all the marching. We did competitions and took it really seriously.

    7. Wait, I played clarinet in the concert band, and it seemed pretty much the same as orchestra? Both were two-days-per-week classes with a few concerts per year. Both strings and wind/brass instruments could play in the pit for plays at my school. Marching band was a whole other thing, of course, but I wasn’t interested in doing that (and they did get varsity letters, which I think they deserved).

    8. Orchestra can get intense as well. String players have more opportunities than wind players to be chosen for selective ensembles such as pit orchestra (at my high school, 2/30 violins v. 1/82 flutes) and youth orchestras (again, many fewer string players competing for many more spots).

      My high school won the state marching band championship every year. We had a few top wind players who were allowed to skip marching band. Double reed players were also allowed to skip marching band, but could play a different instrument or do color guard if they wanted to march. I don’t know whether the average wind student would have been allowed to skip marching band, but I don’t think anyone ever tried it.

      1. I think this must vary a ton by school, because I’m the clarinet player above and my experience was totally different. At my school, concert band was a class (with some out-of-class requirements, like concerts), while marching band was an extracurricular activity. There were actually a number of kids who weren’t in the concert band who did marching band. Personally, I loved playing my woodwind instrument in a regional symphony orchestra and in a jazz ensemble, but absolutely didn’t want to do marching band and would have quit the school concert band and just done it outside of school if that had been required.

        1. It absolutely varies by school. My high school required all wind and percussion players to take a concert band class all year, plus marching PE during the fall semester. The marching band rehearsed during that PE class plus one afternoon and one evening a week. During marching season the lower concert band ensembles worked only on marching band music. The top wind ensemble moved on to concert repertoire after the first few weeks. During the spring semester, all concert bands worked on concert repertoire.

          Orchestra was just one class for string players only. The winds and percussion were pulled from our other classes to rehearse with the strings during orchestra class the last couple of days before a concert or festival. This system worked because the orchestra winds and percussion were the top players in the entire school and could have sight-read the orchestra repertoire cold.

      1. So did I, but I would have died before putting it on a jacket! Iirc I also got a letter in orchestra and academics, our letter system had nothing to do with physical exertion. Nerd credentials achieved.

        I played a woodwind instrument in band and a string instrument in orchestra. They were each one class period during the school day (deconflicted). Marching band had summer and obviously football season commitments, plus band shows, and was the center of gravity my high school experience revolved around. Orchestra did maybe one or two competitions or exhibitions per year and didn’t have the same camaraderie at all, but I had a couple great friends there. Our marching band was so big that it stratified into 3 concert bands, which also did one or two competitions per year and a trip to Disney World every 4 years. Wind and percussion players could join orchestra, but the orchestra director was not well-liked and the program wasn’t great, so the orchestra never had more than one or two non-string players. Pit orchestra for theater productions obviously attracted students from the band and orchestra programs, but was a totally separate optional sign-up for each production.

        There’s wonderful solo repertoire for every instrument, but other than piano, organ, and harp, I think most instruments are really best in ensembles… the difference between band life and orchestra life in any given school comes down more to the directors and the program they’ve built.

    10. I would say that in general band is more time-consuming for the average high school kid who only spends time on school-affiliated music and doesn’t practice much, but if your child is a serious musician there is a whole other world of solo competitions and youth orchestras and summer programs to consume your time and money no matter the instrument.

      Also, a nit-picky vocabulary PSA: practice happens alone in the practice room. An ensemble rehearses. There is no such thing as “band practice” or “choir practice.”

      1. Your last paragraph made me laugh- as a children’s theatre professional, I always found it endearing when the new kids and parents called it “play practice”.
        And now that I have a theatre kid myself (who grew up coming to work with me and is so proud of herself for knowing the lingo), sometimes I also call it play practice to make her twitch.

    11. If you don’t want to join the band boosters or pick your kid up from competitions at 3:00 a.m. you do have the option to say no. Easier said than done, but it is a choice available to you.

    12. My parents opted out of all that madness and signed us each up for private music lessons. I suspect it was cheaper overall.

      1. I highly doubt it was cheaper. We pay $250 per month for private piano lessons in a very LCOL area. School band and orchestra are essentially free through middle school, you have to buy a ~$20 performance shirt but that’s it. There are some field trip costs as you get into high school, particularly for marching band, but I highly doubt most public schools are asking parents to pay $3k/year/kid. The expenses are largely funded by the school and the parents just pay a small portion.

    13. Our school starts orchestra first, which I like because a lot of kids pick up an instrument there and then are too busy for band. It will ultimately be up to my kid and she may change her mind down the road, but so far she’s happy with school orchestra and private piano lessons. She’s very committed to piano, but I think there’s value in doing some music with school, since private lessons are not a social thing. I’m not sad about her opting out of band though, and 3 instruments would be too much.

      1. I am in favor of piano lessons for all kids + either an orchestra/band instrument or choir. Learning to be part of an ensemble is so important that in college, even piano majors are typically required to take a large ensemble, either choir or orchestra/band on a second instrument. And piano skills are very helpful for all musicians. My parents didn’t let me have piano lessons and my college piano proficiency requirement was a joke, and my lack of piano skills are a real hindrance in daily life now.

    14. I played wind instruments, so I was in band AND orchestra. We also got PE credit for Marching Band. I went to a small school, so everyone in the music program played at least three instruments (one usually being the piano, which I was practically the only one who did NOT). My parents had nothing to do with our music lives beyond providing the money for instruments, which was just right for me.

  10. I purchased a quiet keyboard (the logitech k780) and it is much, much flatter than my prior keyboard. I would like to either purchase a thin riser for it or purchase a thinner, flatter wrist rest. Any suggestions, or favorites?

    1. Did you check for the little extendable feet under the keyboard? on the “numbers” side. Without them those Logi keyboards are super flat.

  11. What do you all think about pinstripes? I saw a pair of pinstripe pants at Ann Taylor and I liked them (and once they have a 50% sale, they would not be a huge investment). I used to think pinstripes were pretty classic. But the pants also remind me of an identical pair I had in the 2000s, so I wonder if pinstripes are dated now. Perhaps I just need to get used to being old enough to see fashion cycle around a couple of times.

    1. Pinstripes ARE classic. Just because you had a similar pair of pants in the 2000s doesn’t mean pinstripes are now forever dated and off limits for you! We tend to like what we like, so if you are a pinstripes person, you’ll probably happily wear them whenever they’re available. Whether that particular pair of pants feels current depends a lot on the cut, and on what kind of outfit you use them in.

    2. I like the idea of pinstripes but I am very picky about the execution (i.e., there must be pattern matching, symmetric placement, and perfectly on-grain details). Mall brands rarely pay attention at that level.

      1. I love pinstripes, particularly on charcoal grey. Have you seen any brands that manage to do it well?

        1. No brands to suggest, unfortunately. I sew, so I make my own. It is extra work to do all of that pattern matching, but they fit me perfectly and I can get just the right fabric rather than settling for whatever retailers are selling.

  12. How do you get rental car deals these days? We’re vacationing in a resort area next year (at an off time) and the rates are totally wild. Is there some kind of rewards or points program I should be looking at? It’s a small airport with the main company available being Enterprise. We do need the convenience of an airport rental.

    2. I expect to pay $100/day for a rental car. If it’s more than that then I would look at a couple different s i t e s; try booking direct vs through Expedia, for example. But it might just be super expensive.

    3. Check your Costco benefits if you’re a member.

      My issue is what happens next if the reservation doesn’t pan out and there is no car. Apparently nothing has changed since the Seinfeld skit.

        1. I’ve also been shocked at how expensive costco/enterprise is.

          which is why I’m an Avis-Budget girl, and book direct so I never get Travelocitied or Expediaed

        2. I mean, have you done any work to look elsewhere? If the prices are high elsewhere, then that’s what the price is. There isn’t a secret, hidden car rental site that you don’t know about.

    4. we often find the rates for booking super-far-out are really high. If we’re worried the cars will sell out (ex, we always want a medium size SUV for ski trips), we reserve a no-prepay, full cancel vehicle at the high rate just in case, and then check back later and cancel when a good deal pops up.

      1. Thanks, that’s a good idea. We do want to avoid selling out but I’ll keep checking back. I’ve checked back twice since we booked and the price is still exactly the same, but if it’s a bad snow year (we’re skiing), I could see it moving.

        1. FWIW, we usually end up doing the rebooking like, the week before the trip, but we usually fly into Denver or SLC for ski trips as opposed to say, Vail, so it’s better competition.

        2. If you’re going to a ski town to ski you aren’t travelling on an off time.

    6. It’s unfortunately just going to be exorbitant, especially in a vacation area with limited competition.
      Corporate codes are the only thing I’ve found that work well to bring the price down but they’re being rolled back. My employer just announced employees can no longer use the code for leisure travel. We’re probably driving from the Midwest to northern New England next summer because we’re planning to spend 2 weeks there and a rental car for that long will be around $1,500 without the corporate code. So between that and fights we’re looking at a minimum $3k savings for driving ourselves out there, and it’s worth the 20 hour drive.

    7. Specific for each area, but worth googling alternative (off airport) car rental companies. I go to Alaska every year, and car rental prices from Anchorage airport are exorbitant. But there’s a great local company one mile from the airport that is usually half the price. The cars have been equivalent to a rental fleet. And they give you a ride back to the airport when you drop off, and they give you loaner bear spray. (The company is Midnight Sun in case anyone is going to Alaska and need a rental car.) I would definitely check reviews if you’re going this route.
      I also know some people like Turo but I didn’t want to deal with that.

      2. yes in general non-airport locations have better rates, so if you’re renting for a week or more it’s probably worth a $20 uber to the non-airport location.

  13. I’ve been reading Corporette since almost the beginning. With some exceptions, it was generally a kind, helpful, thoughtful, fun place. What is going on with all the mean comments and aggressive arguments lately? I seriously don’t understand people who get off on being hateful here.

    2. I’ve seen some posts where commenters truly, fully cyb3rbullied someone posting something vulnerable and it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Not only were there plenty of women writing cruel comments, the comments were allowed to stay up. They’re still there for the post I have in mind.

      1. It’s unfortunate that sometimes this is what other people are really thinking, but part of me would rather know.

        1. I wouldn’t. I really don’t want to know if some keyboard warrior thinks I’m a narcissistic B for expressing a normal human need or opinion – she can keep that to herself.

          1. There are a thousand online spaces that have policies that you would prefer, then. I am with the other person. I like that people are honest here, because my experience is that women sugarcoat things if you ask your actual friends.

          2. That’s the thing, though – it doesn’t feel honest. It feels like someone who is a bit unhinged (think your drunk uncle or some rando with road rage) is on the loose with no consequences. I’m not referring to posts that say things like “hey, hate to break it to you but it sounds like you’re in the wrong here.” I’m talking about “OMG what’s wrong with you, you cannot possibly be this idiotic” on a thread where someone admits to struggling with a relationship issue or with depression.

          3. Yeah, I’m saying I don’t mind those comments. I just kinda go “wow, someone’s having a bad day,” and move on. Like, that person lost their cool, embarrassing for them, I’m not going to water that plant by giving them attention, because that’s how you get them to do it again. You just read it, think “well, thank god I’m not in that mood,” and go from there.

            I’m so curious which thread you’re thinking of, though.

          4. It was the one where a bunch of people (or maybe just one person under multiple accounts?) absolutely reamed out a new mom who expressed sadness that her local family wasn’t interested in visiting.

          5. Ah, family drama definitely seems to bring out the worst in a couple people here. Overall, I do stand by my take, but I’ve been on the bottom of a pile on and it sucks! I just think overall, I’d rather have a place that is relatively unmoderated and blunt, because most spaces for women veer so hard in the other direction.

        2. I work for the most unhinged woman and I basically take the mean comments as what she hides at work. It’s illuminating.

    3. I’ve been here since 2014, and people here have been complaining about each other’s tone since at least 2015. It’s just part of the internet. I actually think people were meaner here 2020-2022.

      2. yes I’ve been here since 2010ish and there have been conversations about tone ever since the beginning. I agree the pandemic peak was about the worst of it. Both extremes of the debate around pandemic precautions absolutely went off the deep end, with some people saying if you ever wanted to leave your house you had blood on your hands and others making fun of people for having extreme anxiety for taking sensible precautions. I had to take breaks from reading here because it devolved into fighting and name calling pretty much every day.

        1. Yes, and because everyone was on edge, even the relationship and friendship advice was really toxic then! And don’t get me started on all of the threads about remote learning, masking at schools, vaccine requirements, etc. Political threads get hot pretty often (I don’t think there was a single reasonable I/P thread!), but covid issues permeated into so many aspects of life and so many threads.

    4. I think it must have bled in from similar changes that have happened since then more broadly (like how it’s acceptable for people who hold public office to speak now apparently, or tech CEOs). Mean and aggressive is apparently in.

      1. Yeah, this trend seems to reflect IRL interactions. People are pushed to the edge, meanness is normalized, and empathy is rare.

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