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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I like the preppy look to this wool blazer (with just a hint of stretch!) and stripey tie ribbon details — it looks like a fun take on the classic. It's $298, and available in sizes 00-16, at Brooks Brothers. Brooks Brothers Two-Button Blazer with BB#1 Tie-Stripe Ribbon Trim Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]. (L-2)Sales of note for 9.10.24
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Veronica Mars
This blazer is so cute, but it’s a little too twee for my taste. And that’s saying a lot (I love all things preppy). I also wonder if the model’s hair was placed to cover a second breast pocket. If so, shame on BB.
Diana Barry
Ditto, it doesn’t even say on the description!!!
I do like the blazer but the hat on the model makes me think you could grunge it up with a black bodysuit, floral babydoll dress, flannel around the waist, and Docs. I miss grunge sometimes!
Oregon Radio
The youngs in NYC are really bringing this look back. I do double-takes on the street sometimes.
TCFKAG
I have to admit, I feel like this will be really hot with the most fashion forward elves in the North Pole this season.
Red Beagle
(Snicker) I was thinking fruit flavored candy cane too…
Ideas?
Cute blazer!
My family is coming over for dinner at my house tomorrow and I am not sure what to make for them. I’ll be working all day so ideally I’d want something I can make tonight to serve tomorrow or make ahead as much as possible so I just pop it in the over tomorrow.
Unfortunately, my family is not big on any kind of baked pasta so things like lasagna or baked penne are out; they also won’t eat heavy things like meatloaf and aren’t too big on seafood so that is also a factor. I’m thinking some kind of cherry tomato tart and maybe a rice pilaf side but I need a main. I also childishly want this to be something really delicious so they are like, “wow, you’re an awesome cook!” Any tested recipes or other ideas welcome. TIA!!!
Anon
The New York Times sheet pan chicken dinner is delicious, fast and easy.
Lyssa
I’ve served this Martha Stewart braised pork shoulder recipe a few times to crowds, and it’s a big hit (and easy to put together to boot). You could cook it tonight at then just reheat it in the braise tomorrow easily enough. Yum!
Anonymous
Roast chicken or pork tenderloin.
Medic Maggie
Do you have a crockpot? If so, you can do any number of delicious chicken or pork things that would go well with rice–kind of as an Asian-inspired thing. With either meat, I will throw in chunked pineapple, brown sugar, dried ginger, sometimes some apricot or peach preserves, soy or teriyaki sauce, some chipotle chili powder, and some rice vinegar. Conversely, these things all make a great marinade for the grill, too. You can toss in some sweet peppers and onions. You can also use this marinade for beef chunks for kebabs.
If it’s yucky hot and humid where you are, sometimes a cold quinoa salad is nice. Quinoa, cukes, feta cheese, sliced olives & tomatoes, fresh parsley, squeeze of lemon juice & balsamic vinegar. Approved by my 6-year-old, too.
Pick up a rotisserie chicken & use it for tacos, enchiladas, wrap them up in puff pastry w goat cheese & herbs for a delicious empanada (a la Dave Lieberman from Food Network).
Get some fresh/frozen/refrigerated pizza dough (in a ball in a bag) & make fresh pizzas. We just use dough, ricotta, mozzarella & Italian seasoning. Sometimes we will add cooked breakfast sausage, caramelized onions & mushrooms.
D@mn Delicious has a pesto pasta w sundried tomatoes & asparagus. Haven’t tried it, but it looks delicious.
That’s about all I can think of this early…
TCFKAG
One – I would get all the fixings for a fancy salad. Somehow, having a fancy salad always makes my “special” dinners complete.
And do you have a grill? This time of year, I think the best “quick” meals are nice, marinated kebobs for the grill (you could do swordfish ones, beef, chicken, or all veggie) and they are SUPER easy, SUPER fast but still people think “oooh, this is fancy.” Paired with the rice pilaf you mentioned and the salad – maybe with a greek yogurt dipping sauce – and you’ve got a nice summer-time meal – not too heavy but still fun. Find a good marinade recipe, make it the night before, and put the kebobs in it either the night before or the morning of…I think different proteins need to be marinated different amounts. Really nice thick, warm pita bread would also be a nice addition.
Meg Murry
For a marinated kebob – we made this recipe this weekend and its delicious and easy – only takes 8 minutes in the oven, and the dipping sauce is really good – although if you want it to be extra fast I suggest whipping up some extra marinade and concentrating it into the dipping sauce the night before. I forgot the bay leaves and it was still fine. Also, because I’m cheap and had it on hand, I used dried rosemary instead of fresh, garlic powder in place of fresh garlic and lemon juice from a bottle – but I’m sure it would be even better using fresh ingredients. We also played around with both cubes and strips of chicken, and while the strips look a little “fancier”, the cubes looked just fine once cooked and were a lot easier to eat.
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Lemon-Rosemary-Chicken-Skewers-104459
re
Philly people – conshohoken vs. doylestown or other suggestions for first time, no kids house buying.
Thanks!
Moon Moon
Odd timing, because I am actually listing my Philly condo today if you are interested in looking in the city. I love the place, but got my dream job many hours from Philly and don’t want to be a long distance landlord. Let me know if you have any interest — my realtor has agreed to do the entire deal for 2% if a bring a buyer before listing (because he’s not out the costs) so I could give a $15K discount.
Anon
I personally think Doylestown is inconveniently located, but that’s because I never get up that way – maybe it’s more convenient for you. You may also want to check out things that are more along the main line – Ardmore, Wynnewood, Merion Station, Bala Cynwyd, etc, or maybe Havertown. Media is also cute, but it seems like you want to be further north.
Scully
Where are you working? Traffic on the Schuylkill can be brutal. D-town is way out there, plus you have 202 and Blue Route traffic backup.
Anonymous
+1. Direction/mode of your commute is key.
Anon
I love D-town, but it’s not close to anything. If you’re interest in Bucks and are a commuter, Yardley or Newtown may be better choices as far as convenient locations and access to major highways and public transportation, although probably more $$ in both home price and taxes.
Ellen
I love this Blazer’s look, Kat! And I totaly LOVE Brook’s Brother’s! Very nice for you to point this out this selection for us! Mabye Rosa would also like it! I will send her the link. Ed will sureley buy it for her.
Myrna is not feeling to well today. She say’s she swallowed some water when swimming in the river yesterday. FOOEY b/c the manageing partner said there is alot of sewage in the water every time it rain’s and it was raining over the weekend, so she probably swallowed poopie also. DOUBEL FOOEY!
The manageing partner’s brother SHOCKED me yesterday by telleing me that he would consider MARRYING me! I did NOT expect that! He is not even divorced yet from his wife, and that would Make Harold my Stepson? OMG! No guy has ever wanted to MARRY me so quickley, and I have NOT even had sex with him. What is that all about? Kat, I am VERY confused and do not know what to do. I do NOT think of him as a husband, more like an Uncle. What would the HIVE do? I did NOT even brooch anything related to children b/c I was speecheless! OMG!
Myrna said she called this one week’s ago, even before he tried to put his hands’ where they did NOT belong (near my tuchus and boobies) when I was needing more sun lotion. OMG, I need to talk to Rosa, b/c she is MARRIED already and know’s how to deal with a man 24/7 who is MARRIED to her. Dad will be furious b/c he want’s a guy like ED for me. Mom will not be thrilled, tho she want’s me married as do my grandma’s.
hunting hunters
Hello Hive;
in 4 weeks, I will celebrate 5 years at my current employer.
The company is being restructured for the past 2 years. Things have been awful for the past 15 months, I was slowly stripped down of responsibility, budgets and no longer invited to meetings. I do not have a desk and feel like I am invisible. I stayed because the salary is good, but my self-esteem took a hit. I can spend 7 hours at my desk and receive 3 emails. The rest of the time, I am just waiting for time to pass. I even wish I could be in a meeting to make the day go faster.
I cannot go to competitors, and the handful of multinationals I know in my country are saturated with ex-colleagues (as I said, there is a restructuring so many friends were laid off).
It is time for me to move on and reach out to head hunters (I am not US-based).
Any tips on how to approach some? I do not necessarily expect to find decent head hunters in my country so I will be looking abroad. I have a couple names who had contacted me last year and I would like to reach out again.
This is very intimidating as I moved from my internship to a job with the same company. I have changed assignments and fought my way to my current position but I still am intimidated by quitting my first “grown up” job.
Help
Anon
Hello! I think you may be a long-time poster, and I’m happy to see you posting again (although I wish your circumstances were better).
First – take a deep breath. Your position has deteriorated from what it was when you were originally offered the job, but you still have valuable skills and experience. Remind yourself of that – daily – to keep up positive energy while you look for a new position.
Second – make lists. Lots of lists. List of all the former colleagues that you want to contact to inquire about opportunities. Lists of your marketable skills (multi-lingual for a start!, and all of the responsibilities you’ve enjoyed over the years). Lists of what you liked about your previous positions, and what you didn’t. A list of things you’d find at your perfect job, just to give you ideas of what you’re looking for (not that you’ll find 100% of them, but it helps to highlight what is important to you).
Finally – take an action every day. Look at postings, email a former colleague, revise your resume, or just make a list. It doesn’t have to be big, but it has to be something. Doing something every day to improve your situation/find a new position will put you in control of the situation.
You can do this!
hunting hunters
thanks anon, I really appreciate your response. you know I love lists.
You are right, I have no doubt the hive recognized me, that is why I gave those details because then the advice is more personal since this amazing community knows my background and my ups and downs.
I took off my handle since it sometimes links to my website and my unique name is easily searchable.
I did invest 7 hours writing a resume from scratch (figured tabula rasa is the way to go).
I will get started on those lists. I want to be ready within 4 weeks.
Hollis
If you are looking for headhunter recos, I think we need just a tad bit more information from you on which industry and where you are looking to go (in terms of geographic location). You’d best go with a head hunter who is recommended by others and there are people on this board who know good ones, but have no idea how to narrow your scope.
For when you need a kid gift . . . .
TJ: Since the “what do I buy for a X year old kid” topic comes up here frequently, I thought I’d share this excellent guide to kids’ books: http://www.dinneralovestory.com/121-books/
Red Beagle
The jacket is okay. I think I might have preferred a solid piping or trim to the stripes on the trim.
Speaking of Brooks Brothers – I’m wearing my lone pair of grey BB dress pants today that I got 4 years ago and now finally fit into again after losing some weight. The pants fit slim, and usually I will wear shorter-length stretchy top out but today I really want to tuck in my silk top. But silk top = cami and the cami really wants to roll up under the pants, creating the cami version of a VPL (VCL?). Any fixes out there? I guess I could go back to my undie drawer and find a longer cami or just wear a top that doesn’t need one, but now that I’m dressed…
AIMS
Tuck your cami into your undies.
Red Beagle
Hmm – thanks! I’ll try that!
Moving on Up?
Any of you more senior readers made a successful transition from life-long suburban house living to the high rise lifestyle? We’re struggling with the pro/cons and without friends with experiences, would love your input. Sure, being able to travel and not worry about upkeep and security is a plus. What about folks who like to “putter around” their home and have little projects to do? What about sound proofing in a high rise? What about storage space? Does the shopping/grocery situation have to become more “European” with daily small bits? Computer and internet security? Do you need a separate security system as one would have in a home on a residential lot? Parking and security through parking lots?
We just don’t know what to ask.
Have thought about having a realtor come over and give us a quote on selling our house and then showing us comparable values/prices in high rises…would that be appropriate or would a realtor not be inclined to put forward their time on that? Thinking if we “saw” some it might help us.
Finally, we’ve been assigned on projects around the world and lived in apartments for years at a time. Found it boring. So is it the same with this scenario? At least we are in a city we’ve known for a long time. We tend to be homebodies though…
Thanks so much!
Anonymous
My parents did this and have been very happy. I don’t think you need any special security of any sort, but you should consider whether you want a doorman or not. Storage units are available in some buildings and soundproofing you really need to go see. Typically people move to city high rises in part to escape car culture, so yes, you’re likely to do more frequent shopping trips.
If you think that apartment life sounds boring and your main incentive is not having to take care of maintenance when you travel, what about a townhouse development? The big pluses to city living are ease of public transport, walking, access to culture and a more cosmopolitan lifestyle. If you like puttering around a house and garden and having lots of storage, it might not be for you.
AIMS
I haven’t myself done this but a few of my friends’ parents have and loved the result (my mom, on the other hand, did the opposite – as soon as I was done with school, she moved to the ‘burbs).
Anyway as a committed city dweller, I thought I’d post a few thoughts:
1. Sound proofing: depends on the high rise. You can usually get insulated windows put in to keep out street noise (not always though), and you can soundproof individual rooms. Older pre-war buildings will have thicker walls and so will be much quitter, but at least in NYC that usually comes at a premium.
2. Storage: some buildings come with storage space in the basement. In my building it’s $50/mo., but well worth it in my opinion.
3. Grocery shopping: I suppose my default is more “European” but I think that’s preference based – the things I like to eat need to be bought fresh mostly and I am also not a planner ahead. Certainly, it will be difficult to have two fridges like some do in the suburbs. But in many cities there are also supermarket delivery services like Fresh Direct so you can order all your groceries online and they will deliver. So if you’re worried about carrying large amounts of groceries, that doesn’t need to be a problem. Most supermarkets in NY also deliver.
4. Security is usually taken care of by the building but obviously if you have some priceless Monet hanging in your living room, you should invest in your own.
5. You should definitely get a quote and look around for what you would trade for, but I am not sure one realtor would be able to help with both. In my experience good realtors specialize in neighborhoods, and it’s unlikely yours would be familiar with both your neighborhood and a nearby city neighborhood (unless your high rise is in your same area?) He or she may be able to recommend someone though – so do ask for a referral.
Oregon Radio
I live in a full-service doorman building which I love. They will take care of most minor home repairs and the bellmen often help me carry packages.
The building feels very secure to me, to the point that when I stay in rural/suburban houses I feel unsafe because there aren’t enough people around! We have never had a problem with computer/internet either, just put a strong-ish password on your wifi network. In a nice building you don’t have to worry that your neighbors will be trying to steal your internet since they can afford their own (this goes for most things).
We have a storage unit, but we can also store suitcases and bikes in the basement and the porters take them out by request.
Re: Groceries: You can have FreshDirect delivered (or your local equivalent), but I do end up making a lot of small runs to the farmer’s market, cheese store, bodega, etc.
Things to ask: quiet hours, pets, gym/roof access, everything else is variable whether you’re renting or selling. I rent and always ask about utilities, maintenance, etc. This is going to be extremely different in a city where there are lots of residential buildings vs. a city where living in a house is the norm. There are things I miss about house living, namely the space, but I also adore living in the hustle and bustle of everything.
Wildkitten
One thing to keep in mind is the maintenance fees – if you straight out own your house and straight out buy your condo you still have to pay for maintenance every month for the rest of your life. You’ll probably want to get rid of most of your “stuff” and will not be stockpiling Costco frozen items in the garage chest freezer, but you can still go shopping weekly or bi-weekly if you don’t want to go more frequently. Can you find a place to volunteer that will let you putter around with repairs, like mentoring kids on woodworking or such?
ITDS
If you are looking at new buildings, beware of glass exterior/floor to ceiling windows – sound carries down the glass from other floors.
If you’re really unsure about apartment living, could you try renting a place similar to what you would want to buy for a year? That way you could see if the lifestyle suits you without being stuck selling if yo hate it.
Diana Barry
Ditto. If you have found it boring in the past, I would try renting before buying.
Also, depending on your location, the same realtor wouldn’t work for suburb vs city. I might get a market eval for your place first, then get a city realtor to show you around some city apts to get a feel for them. I also would try to spend less on the new place, given the building/maintenance fees.
Senior Attorney
I couldn’t agree with this more. I left my husband and our house last year and moved into a Fasionable Downtown Apartment. I figured if I liked it I would buy a condo in the same neighborhood. Turns out that although I love being in walking distance of everything, I HATE condo/apartment living. In particular, having visitors is a giant hassle. It’s hard for them to find the place, it’s hard for them to find a place to park, it’s a hassle to get into the security building, and all in all it’s just unwelcoming for my friends. I closed escrow on a little house in my old neighborhood a couple of weeks ago and am so happy to be back in a house!
So yes! By all means try it out before you commit!
Middle Coast
Sort of in the same boat, toying with the idea of retiring…
I am leaning towards staying in my house in the burbs. I spent decades getting it just right and now want to just stay home and enjoy it. I have gone to open houses and looked at models in new buildings and have been awed (there are lots of new buildings going up on the Lakefront) but when I get home and putter about, I think I’d be happier where I am. Maybe I’ll change my mind as I age.
However, I do plan on traveling and renting apartments for a month at a time in other cities to explore and enjoy urban life. And the Carribbean in the winter to enjoy no snow.
Moving on Up?
OP here.
Thanks for all the ideas. Had no idea about maintenance fees. Will have to put that into the calculator.
We are used to limited pantry in our current house, there’s simply no storage in our house. There are only 2 closets for example. It’s been a real adjustment. Our off site storage unit works well for big, bulky, or seasonal things. So we manage that just fine.
We aren’t much of night life folks, so being around that isn’t a draw. It’s the lack of maintenance on an ageing home, more security esp. if we are travelling for work or fun, and so forth. Don’t plan on retiring for at least 10 years … but this is a huge decision anyway.
Anyone have any ideas on the resale of such high rise “homes” ???
cbackson
Bear in mind that, depending on the building, maintenance fees may cover some of your utilities (I only pay electric and cable/internet; some buildings in my city also cover cable/internet in the maintenance as well).
anon
Be careful – a lot of highrises are new construction & get mired in defect litigation (if not when you buy, usually within the first 4-10 years after people move in) and that can seriously impact resale, not to mention result in assessments. I can totally see the appeal of not dealing with single family home issues (I moved from a highrise to a single family) but for me, the headaches associated with a HOA and defect litigation far outweighed the single family home issues.
EK
I think this also very much depends on the City. A high rise in Downtown Denver will be different than living in Manhattan.
layovers
What is the minimum time for a layover you would be comfortable with in either Heathrow or Frankfort ? Anyone been through these airports before?
Anon
I like 2 hours for international travel (I’m assuming you’ll be flying internationally). I’ve flown through both – both are massive – buy all the chocolates in Germany :)
Anonymous
Same airline, 1.5 hours. Different airline, 2.5.
TCFKAG
Both of those airports, but ESPECIALLY Frankfurt are absolutely huge. In college, I flew threw Frankfurt on my way home from study-abroad in Italy (so of course I was weighed down by tons of bags, packages, whatevers) and I had to walk the full length of the airport – which I found out was like over a mile long and go through a second security checkpoint to get into the out-of-Europe flight area. The travel agent who booked my tickets had left me like 40 minutes and I almost missed my flight (like I was the last one on the plane.) I would want at *least* double that at FF.
Heathrow, if I remember correctly, is one of those airports where you have to take a tram between terminals AND has a lot of walking. So yeah, basically I’d give myself as much time as I could stomach. You can always read a book or get some non-plane food.
AIMS
I’ve done Heathrow with an hour and made it, but it was a tight squeeze. Same airline, btw, doesn’t mean actually same airline these days. For instance, you could have a BA flight with a Heathrow connection but it will actually be operated by AA to London and then BA from London. Read that fine print.
Fwiw, Heathrow is a fun airport to have a longer layover in.
Cb
Might not be relevant but when you’re flying from the US to London and then onto another UK flight, you’ll need to go through border checks there.
Pink NYC
On the way back to the US via Heathrow, you’ll need extra time OR alert whoever you can that you are in a rush situation. We had a good 90-120 minutes and barely made it to our gate in the middle of boarding, and that was only because I kept talking to the security folks about needing to make my connection. We had to pass through 2 extra levels of security within Heathrow to exit Europe.
layovers
All very helpful! The flights through Heathrow are officially off my list now. Not worth saving the $ from the sound of it. Thanks!
Pink NYC
Don’t get me wrong–I had no problem missing my flight (friend in London, love duty free shopping, not ready to go back after vacay) but my travel companion was all “we must make this” and is a neurotic flyer (must be first to board, etc) whereas I’ve always waited till the end to board, etc.
Woods-comma-Elle
Heathrow – depends if you need to change terminals. The terminals are not all very close together (terminal 4 is well away from the others, 1,2 and 3 are close and 5 is a bit further off) and you have to walk miles and get a bus and then probably walk some more. My parents have done 1.5 hours from terminal 3 to 5 and it was pushing it, so if you are changing terminals, I would allow at least two hours.
Also, if your second flight is from terminal 5, it’s new and swanky and fun to wander around, so having a bit of extra time shouldn’t be a problem :)
LawyrChk
Not sure about Frankfurt, but with Heathrow I’d suggest 3 hours. You run the risk of having to transfer terminals, and that will burn 30+ minutes. Maybe add another hour if you have to go through immigration there before continuing on.
Anon
I have flown both via Heathrow and Frankfurt. I suggest having at least 2 hours between the flights. First of all, both are quite big and you may have to take train to change terminals and/or walk quite a bit. You need some time to freshen up . Both are very busy airports and in both airports, I have been in situation where I have stood like an hour in the security lines (you have to go through security checkpoint for international transfers). In both the airports, I have been in situation where escalators leading to the security check area were stopped to slow down people getting there and form the lines on and well beyond escalators. When this happened in Frankfurt, most of the flights were delayed to wait for the people stuck in security checks. So having some time will take the pressure off and will be less stressful if you get into these situations.
January
I tried to do a 90 minute layover in Heathrow once and did not make my flight because my flight was significantly delayed leaving the U.S. and we did not get a tailwind on the flight to Europe. Leave at least two hours and expect the unexpected.
Lyra Silvertongue
Same airline=3 hours, different airline=4. Same 2 time frames for without border patrol vs with border patrol, assuming you are traveling on an American passport. Admittedly, I am cautious when it comes to schedules, but this should give you a cushion for minor delays of first flights, having to go from one end of the airport to the other, security/immigration checks, and (if lucky) a bit of exploration and shopping.
Lily student
Heathrow is good for shopping so I would always allow the extra time! I agree with Woods comma Elle who mentioned the terminal switching thing.
social anxiety
I have a harder time striking up conversations with people than I should, and in my head, I’m socially awkward. I’m really good with interacting with/handling people except in a small talk kind of chit chatting way, so I don’t totally lack social skills. I’m extremely introverted, which does not help. I’m starting an internship soon that I really want to turn into a full time offer, and there are a bunch of activities in the first few days that require a lot of small talk. Any thoughts on how to approach people/open a conversation and general tips for keeping a conversation going or things to ask?
Red Beagle
I would rather sit in the dentist chair than make small talk myself, so I hear you!
Cliched though it is, the weather is always a good starting topic. Just don’t broaden it into climate change or other big topics… keep it light.
LilyB
I actually have to disagree- I find the weather to be an extremely poor topic for small talk. I only talk about the weather when I have absolutely nothing else to talk about, and it often sounds forced. Ask people what they’ve been doing over the summer- people love talking about vacations they’ve taken- where they’re from, how long they’ve been with the company (or, if they’re fellow interns, where they go/went to school, etc). Once you get them talking, you can usually find a segue into another good topic for small talk- a favorite sports team, a movie they saw recently, something in the news (but stay away from politics).
Mpls
See – at least around here, the weather is a way to broach into other topics.
“So, have you been enjoying the weather?”
“Yup – went and did XYZ this weekend. (Went to the cabin, escaped the heat to a movie, read at the beach)”
“Oh, what did you think of the movie/I’ve always wanted to visit [cabin] area – what’s fun to do up there/etc.”
For the people that moved to town just this summer, you get to tell them horror stories about last winter. Maybe it depends on where you live, and whether the weather actually changes enough to have something to talk about.
Medic Maggie
Asking people about their hobbies/kids tends to get them to talk so that you can listen more…I wish I had more advice, but I’m pretty outgoing, though I don’t like social situations where I am the only person I know…Conferences & the like are very lonely for me, despite being with hundreds of other folks.
Lady Tetra
Some good advice I got was to ask people about themselves. Ask about what they do, how they like where they live, their vacations, etc. People generally like to talk about themselves, and they might mention something that you have in common that you can then talk about together.
Clementine
People love to talk about themselves. My personal strategy (that seems to work well) is to ask the other person, ‘So, what do you do when you’re not being dragged to networking events/ hosting fabulous dinner parties/ being a proud spouse?’ People will surprise you with what they say. I just go with it. I’ve actually made some great professional connections over surprising shared interests- who would have known that Mr. X is passionate about distance running or Dr. Z writes a travel food blog?
Option 2 is just to compliment arbitrary things. ‘Wow, these plants out here are incredible./ This architecture is incredible- they don’t make buildings like this any more’.
Disclaimer: Some people just suck to talk to and you stand there awkwardly… and that’s why so many social events have alcohol.
Spirograph
If you live in a major metropolitan area, traffic is also a safe chit-chat topic. Traffic/Metro/Commute are small talk staples in DC… which gives people a chance to mention where they live, which opens up discussion of that area and its attractions/restaurants if you’re familiar with the area. If you’re not familiar, it’s just as effective to say so and ask how they like it. You can also always ask how the weekend was, how the summer’s been, and what plans are for upcoming weekend. Have answers to these questions ready, too, because they will probably be reciprocated.
As long as you are sincere and you don’t overuse this to the point that people notice it’s your “tactic,” complimenting someone on an item of clothing/accessory and following up with question about where they got it usually works well. (Assuming these are Americans… in some cultures, the recipient of the compliment feels obligated to gift you the thing you admired, which is super awkward.)
nutella
Along these lines, I know in some countries (i.e. England) asking someone “what they do for a living” is very rude. Even in the US, where I sometimes find myself in situations with very rich non-working types, my go-to question (if I can’t think of anything else to talk about) is “what keeps you busy these days?”
social anxiety
Thanks all. What about approaching people- just waltz up to someone, say hello and introduce myself? or are there more elegant ways of doing this?
Gdzila
Here are step-by-step instructions:
1. Find someone who is not involved in a conversation with someone else.
2. Sit/stand next to them.
3. Say hello.
4. Say “So, what do you think of this event?” (if you like, you can offer a “I’ve never been to something like this” or “These are so awkward” or “I’m having fun” etc)
5. Now you’ve made conversation.
Alternatively, I’ll turn to someone and say, “Did he/she really just say that?” and draw them into an inside joke. We become best friends and the event becomes a win for me. But this may not be the best tactic for an intern.
Also, if there’s food, you can easily strike up a conversation about that “wow, the tuna sandwiches look really popular”, followed by general chitchat about food and then “by the way, I’m social anxiety, I’m an intern.” They will introduce themselves.
social anxiety
If you can’t find anyone who’s not involved in a conversation, what do you do then? This seems to happen a lot to me. What’s a polite way of joining?
Gdzila
Now, this may terrify you but I’ve had younguns come up to me at networking events when I’m talking to a colleague and just say “Hi, I’m an intern at thisplace, how are you?” when we pause to take a sip of our drinks. Find a woman or a young person or someone who smiles a lot and say hello. Also, your hello begins with a smile before you even open your mouth to say anything. People tend to mimic behaviors so if you smile, the other person will smile, too, making the situation more comfortable for you.
Since it seems like you haven’t started working yet, you might be stressing yourself out a bit thinking about this. Whoever you’re working for should introduce you to some people. You can ask them to introduce you to more people. Especially at a company setting, you should start saying, “Hi, I’m the intern”. And it’s okay to tell people that you’re nervous. We know interns are nervous. You were hired because they think you’re awesome.
Wildkitten
“Hi! I’m Wildkitten!” is my go-to.
MNF
Look for groups of three people! Usually two are talking and one is standing listening – sidle up to that extra person. As far as starting the conversation – stick out your hand and say (audibly!) “Hi, Social Anxiety.”
Medic Maggie
Find somewhere near a sitting place, or a table, or something–you can sidle up to the area, and say, “Is anyone sitting here/Mind if I put my purse/drink/bag/jacket down here for a minute? Hi, I’m Social Anxiety.”
That way you’ve kind of used the table/chair as a way to get yourself into the conversation.
SW
If no one is alone, I usually approach groups of 3 or 5, rather than 2 or 4, because I find that it is easier to join a conversation where people aren’t paired up.
Anastasia
I am also a total introvert, and initiating contact is always a problem for me. I noticed that extroverts just walk up and start conversations, though, so I started forcing myself to do it. You can either introduce yourself first, or you can start with, “wow, this is some [event], huh?” and wait for an exchange or two before saying “I’m Introvert, by the way.” Both feel totally unnatural to me, but it works. Fake it til you make it.
A scented Kindle
I realized in late school/ early college that small talk was not a forte of mine. So I made it a goal to practice. I’d use any little opportunity to practice my small talk skills in environments where I knew our interaction would be naturally limited- store check outs, waiting for the bus, baristas, sales people in clothing stores. It’s been really helpful. And if you say something awkward or someone’s not into you, well, you’re out of there in a few minutes anyways.
I also try to remember that 95% of people find networking events/ forced social gatherings awkward and a little nerve-wracking. Everyone will appreciate your effort to say hi and shoulder the burden of initiating small talk so they don’t have to.
Oregon Radio
My opener is “how was your day?” It works in all situations and with all types of people, from the clerk at CVS to the grungy artist to the high-level exec.
Wildkitten
I ask CVS-type-people when their shift ends or when their weekend is, since their schedules are different than mine and they are always counting down the hours!
Louisville slugger
Sometimes you’re a Louisville slugger, sometimes you’re the ball. I’m feeling like the slugger today! First, I totally nailed my outfit. Gray just-above-knee chino skirt, soft gray antique-floral print silk tank w/ ribbon trim at neck; gray ruffle-front open elbow-sleeve cardi. SHAZAAM. What else can I conquer?
Brit
Amen – felt the same way this morning (snow leopard cardigan, Irish green ankle pants AND I actually styled my hair). Plus, finished a major work project already this morning and have a second date tonight. I am ready to grand slam the rest of this day!
Red Beagle
Go sluggers! I’m feeling like I’m not the ball today too – grey Brooks Bros pants, pale pink silk sleeveless button down, grey-toned snakeskin heels, and my favorite deep navy CK jacket! Big meeting this AM.
Cb
Excellent- I’m wearing this gorgeous wine coloured blouse with a grey pencil skirt and love wearing actual colour (I’m in a navy and grey rut).
Felt slightly less shazaam when I showed up to a meeting a day early…but oh well.
MNF
Hey Cb – how was the cake from Friday?
Senior Attorney
Better a day early than a day late, that’s for sure!
slugger
I was thinking the same thing!
Woods-comma-Elle
I want this outfit!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul
Get it girl!
Lily student
I felt good today too. Purple dress from Hobbs that fits me so well and makes my waist look tiny but without being too good-looking, black tux jacket from BR and tights, and my favourite brogues.
Dulcinea
Shopping help…I am going to an outdoor wedding on saturday and I need some kind of wedges to go with a lemon-yellow dress. The dress is literally the color of a fresh lemon skin.
Anyway I looked over everything at Z a p p o s and didn’t find anything I loved. I wear size 6.5, would prefer something that does not have cork or “twine” (can’t remember what that stuff is called). I want it to look dressy and elegant and not too chunky. Budget is under $100, preferably.
Last time I wore this dress I wore black and white striped grossgrain pumps, and another time I wore bright magenta stilettos … So I like the idea of a shoe with color or pattern. If I do get a solid black shoe, I will also need suggestions for some kind of black accessory to wear on top – I am a firm believer in “bookending” esp with such a high contrast color combo as black and yellow.
Would really appreciate any suggestions! Thanks everyone!
Diana Barry
Nine West has several wedges with wood heel (so not espadrille-like) that are nice and colorful:
http://www.ninewest.com/Floyd-Ankle-Strap-Wedge-Sandals/14029063,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJNA6A4_1&cgid=5241469&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=ninewest-catalog
Medic Maggie
6pm D O T com/nine-west-reelymind-yellow-leather
6pm D O T com/bc-footwear-prepare-for-landing-yellow-suede
6pm D O T com/nine-west-floyd-yellow-nubuck
LawyrChk
I’d probably do a nude patent shoe and then play up the jewelry, but what about navy satin?
I tend to not do black and yellow together (reminds me too much of a bumble bee).
Medic Maggie
oh NAVY! Navy patent would be pretty too. I was also looking at nude wedges. Yellow/navy–so classic and pretty.
Red Beagle
How about these? http://www.ninewest.com/Ispy-Wedge-Heels/15088261,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJDC7A0_1&cgid=2989858&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=ninewest-catalog
Navy blue suede shoes…
anon
What about metallic?
https://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/shoes/Lillian/PRD~19237/19237.jsp?N=17+21+10047&Nbrd=J&Nloc=en_US&Nrpp=48&Npge=3&Nsrt=3&isSaleItem=true&color_name=METALLIC+GOLD&isFromSale=true&isNewSearch=true&srcCode=AFFI00001&siteId=J84DHJLQkR4-g%2FnqyI6yJmBqUsQblYHiGg
AIMS
I like the idea of navy, too. But also what about bright magenta? Might be too much for some, but I like the idea. If you do navy, these are cute: http://www.6pm.com/nine-west-relaxinn-blue-synthetic
AIMS
They also come in bright pink and red on the nine west site (as well as a less interesting to me “nude”). http://www.ninewest.com/Relaxxin-Peep-Toe-Wedges/12829800,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJIC2O0_1&cgid=2989858&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=ninewest-catalog
Red could be very cute too.
Medic Maggie
or COBALT!
6pm D O T com/nine-west-mymoon-navy-leather
They say this one is “navy” but it looks cobalt to me. Beware, though, I have found that 6pm picture coloring can be deceiving. I bought a pair of flats that appeared to be camel/tobacco/luggage tan and they were much dingier-looking in person.
6pm D O T com/fitzwell-lanette-blue-patent
6pm D O T com/fitzwell-lasca-blue-patent
6pm D O T com/rsvp-mylan-blue
6pm D O T com/miz-mooz-seeley-jean (not a wedge, but totally walkable-looking heel)
Dulcinea
Thanks everyone!! I really like the nine west ones, didn’t think to check if they came in more colors on that website than on z a p p o s.
Navy was definitely a consideration but since I think I might go with coral jewelry I might go with magenta shoes?? we will see. I’m stopping by D s w tonight as well.
Really appreciate everyone taking the time to weigh in!
slugger
I’d say if you are doing coral jewelry, you don’t want magenta to compete–it would either have to match perfectly, or it looks like you tried and didn’t quite get it. If I were you, pairing lemon yellow w/ coral, I’d do navy or cobalt blue shoes, or nude shoes.
Styling help?
Thinking of pulling the trigger on this dress. Would this be appropriate for a wedding (northern California coast)? Styling help?
Styling help?
http://www.stylebop.com/product_details.php?id=475855
Cb
That is gorgeous! I think it’d be really versatile for the wedding and beyond.
Diana Barry
It is totally NMS and seems more appropriate to a work dinner than a wedding. I guess if you dressed it up with a big bib necklace and fancy shoes, maybe??
MNF
Love this dress! I’d go nude for me heels and gold jewelry.
Bonnie
Love this dress! I’d go nude for me heels and gold jewelry.
Orangerie
I like it, but not for a wedding (live in N. CA and have never seen a dress like this at a wedding). To me this is more of a business casual work item or perhaps a dinner dress.
As far as styling goes, I like how it’s shown on the model. Some snakeskin pumps in a neutral tone would also look nice.
Senior Attorney
I would totally wear that to a wedding.
But I am old, so YMMV.
Styling help?
Thanks for the replies. I think I’m going to get it, try it on, see how it goes, and if I love it maybe keep it even if it doesn’t work for a wedding.
This has me interested, though–what makes a dress more “wedding” vs. “work”? I’m from Northern California, but have spent most of my working years thus far in DC/London. I probably won’t wear this to work because the fabric seems like it would be a little to thin, a little too clingy. But weddings are sometimes tough to try to walk the line between not being to work-y or brunch-y (in a dress it would seem weird to dance in, in the evening) and one that is short, low-cut, glittery, or seems more appropriate for going out for drinks than sitting outside watching people get married. I am in my twenties, FWIW.
I often wear sleeveless dresses to weddings but since part of this one will be outside in the late afternoon/evening and may be foggy, I thought sleeves would be nice instead of my usual wrap. But I agree, it’s a bit covered up…
Anonymous
Browse Nordstrom online under the “guest of the wedding” section to get ideas.
AIMS
I disagree with the majority. This is a lovely dress for a wedding assuming it is not a black tie wedding.
It’s definitely more on the European wedding dress side, but no reason you can’t be continental in California. Order it and see how it looks on. This color would look awful on me, but I can see it being stunning on the right person. I would wear it with definite evening shoes, along these lines and nice jewelry (maybe a long gold necklace?)
http://www.zappos.com/stuart-weitzman-bridal-evening-collection-sinful-pale-gold-specchio
Understated can be hot. Certainly no less appropriate than showing up in a blingy strapless dress for a church ceremony. Do it.
anon
Same here. I’m also in northern California & this would be perfect for a city wedding here. I’d just dress it up with jewelry and high heels.
nutella
I agree- it’s silk after all! Norcal can be quite chilly anyway! I could also see someone wearing this to work, but like many things it depends on the accessories. To be honest, I find most of the ‘guest of the wedding’ dresses on Nordstrom to be shockingly casual or inappropriately short for most weddings. I would agree, though, that this strikes me as more European. If everyone else will be in black tie, you may want something dressier. If, however, it is a daytime/afternoon wedding or outdoors, this would be great. I envision sleek old hollywood curls, beautfiul shoes, clutch, and blingy gold bracelets.
Styling help?
Thanks all. And I agree with some of the “guest of wedding” dresses on the Nordstrom s i t e (and other s i t e s) often seem too casual or short or lacking fabric (then again, apparently I am the type of person to consider long sleeved, high necked dresses for weddings!).
hoola hoopa
+1 This dress would look great on me and is right up my alley. I’d pair with nude heels and gold or pearl jewelry and be comfortable at a non-summer Northern Cal wedding (I’m a wimp in heat). If you feel beautiful, then it’s the right dress.
Anonymous
If you just left the convent sure! This is a completely boring work dress that just looks way too sad for a wedding.
Hollis
But tell us how you *really* feel…
Sacha
You are so so wrong.
January
For all the ELLEN fans out there, I just got a promotional e-mail from “Managing Partner,” and my first thought was that the poor guy couldn’t even remember how to spell his own name.
Muppet
Hahaha, love it!
anon
I have an international flight out of Dulles. Will be flying in and meeting a friend at Dulles to embark on our vacation together. My flight to Dulles and my international flight were booked separately but are (by coincidence) the same airline. Do you think it would be worth calling the airline to see if I could check my luggage straight through rather than needing to get it and check back in and go through security? Would this work? I can’t do it coming home because I’m staying overnight with my friend and flying home from National on a different airline.
Wildkitten
You might as well call – it’ll probably depend on the TSA rules and your original airport but I don’t see how it would hurt to ask.
Anonymous
Nah. Calling will take 45 mins of your time and won’t help you if you turn up and they say no. Just ask when you’re checking the bag if they can do it.
Bonnie
I don’t think calling the airline will help but you should be able to make that request at the airport.
anon
Ah, ok. I know that when you book them together, they allow you to check straight through and they treat all of your flights as part of your international check-in. Also trying to avoid paying bag fees twice.
Wildkitten
Everyone else is right. The gate agent is usually more helpful than the phone agent.
Anonymous
Just give yourself plenty of time to do it at your first leg–any time I’ve needed the check-in agent (different than gate agent) to make a change in the system, it requires him or her to go through about 500 screens and can take anywhere from one minute to an hour.
Personally, seems easier to me to call Reservations and get the PNRs combined prior to showing up, but my experience is with AA and they are good about doing that. YMMV with another airline.
Oh and you get a free bag on international flights so you shouldn’t have to worry about paying the bag fee on the second leg out even if you aren’t able to check it through. If you’re over that allowance and talking about an additional bag, I think you’ve got very little chance of avoiding the double fee even if they are able to check it through, because it’s two separate PNRs.
anon
Ok, that’s good to know. It’s United so I’ll see. I will only have one checked bag, so not a problem.
Returning to Shopbop
Has anybody had trouble returnign an item to Shopbop when you ship it on day 27 or 28 and it would arrive when it arrives?
Hollis
No experience with Shopbop, but I know from experience that even if stuff is returned a short time after the window for returns, within reason they will credit it back to you. I think an OffSaks person told me on the phone once that they have a 15 day “grace period” after the 30 day return period.
Bethany
1. My sister is having a baby, and I am trying to have a blanket made. Trying to figure out dimensions and batting material, and when I search online, I get all sorts of different recommendations. I was hoping some of the quilters / sewers from this s1te might be able to advice.
2. Related to the above, she has been trying to find a good pediatrician in lower Manhattan without much luck. It seems like the main place that is recommended by all her friends (Tribeca Peds) has very mixed reviews online. I figured I would see whether any of the wise women on this s1te might have any alternative ideas.
Thanks in advance!
Seattle Freeze
I think 36″ x 54″ is pretty standard for a crib quilt, and I like a nice lightweight cotton batting – gives a great crinkly old-fashioned texture when quilted & washed, and not as fluffy & lofty as a polyester batting.
hoola hoopa
Agreed. Thinner batting is best for baby blankets, although it sounds counter-intuitive. Our most used and kids favorites both use essentially thick flannel as batting instead of even traditional thin quilt batting. One is crib quit size (great through toddler years on bed and beyond on lap) and the other is truly a baby blanket and about half the size of a crib quilt (perfect for wrapping around swaddled newborns or snuggling babies and toddlers in the stroller).
She should definitely go with her friend’s recommendations and ignore online reviews. One possible exception is if the online reviews focus around a specific issue that will be important to her but not important to her friends (ie, difficulty of evening appointments for working parents, but her friends are all stay at home). But either way, she’s not making a lifetime commitment. Best to start where she has personal recommendations and switch later if need be.
Philanthropy Girl
Yup – 36×54 is standard crib quilt size. I’ve also made nice square ones for tummy time that moms seem to really enjoy (say in the 48″ square range). I try to avoid polyester batting – I’m using Warm & Natural (about 87% cotton) for my nephew’s baby quilt and it’s really nice – warm but not too much loft to it.
Are you going for heirloom style blanket, or something snuggly and everyday-user-friendly? A friend just sent us one of those popular minky blankets with a crocheted edge that is really delightful. Minky is very, very soft, comes in tons of colors, and doesn’t require quilting or batting. For a more casual, use it every day blanket, it’s really nice.
We just found our ped (baby in 4 weeks!). It was a challenge. I couldn’t get good recommendations either online or from my friends. Many of our local friends just go to a family doctor, but I really wanted a ped specialist. Has she interviewed docs? That settled a lot of my fears of not finding great reviews. My experience was that online reviewers of doctors seem to be the people who had horrible experiences – people with normal experiences don’t seem to take the time (at least in my neck of the woods). My sister found that just because a doc is highly recommended doesn’t mean they will be the right doc for your kids – she hated the doc who was highly recommended in her area. So – have her make a short list, get a few consults, and then go with whoever she feels she can talk to most easily. And like Hoola Hoopa said, this isn’t a lifetime commitment. If she’s two or three months in and the doc isn’t working out, look for someone new.
Mpls
What is the purpose of the blanket – fit the crib, lay on the floor to play on, smaller snuggly blanket, cover the carseat, or something for the kid to have as she grows up?
The thicker the batting, the bulkier the blanket will be. If you don’t need it for the warmth, do a really thin cotton batting, but only if there is quilting that you want to highlight. And the more quilting you have the stiffer (if that makes sense) the blanket will be. Minimal quilting (or tying, depending on the technique) will make the blanket/quilt easier to fold.
Also – be sure the fabric are also prewashed/preshrunk, because you KNOW that thing is going to have to get washed as some point.
Anonymous
She should go with the one recommended by all her friends and ignore the online reviews!!
M
Can’t help you on the first, but I’ve always heard great things about Tribeca Pediatrics and know some friends that have had great experiences. I’ll be starting with them soon too.
I’ve found that it’s hard to find pediatrians with good results on sites like Yelp but personal referrals or local parent sites/list serves are far more reliable
Bonnie
PSA: great sale on work dresses at JNY today. If you sign up for their free rewards program, the dresses will be around $45 with free shipping and free returns.
Anon
What’s their quality? Not super familiar with the brand – know the name, of course. In my head I’ve likened it to The Limited.
Anon
Oh – and how do they size?? Apparently I’m off on the Limited comparison, as I’m doing some googling…
Anon
It’s sized kind of like Talbot’s, or at least it used to be. If you’re on the fence, size down.
LH
JNY is not like The Limited at all. JNY runs big and can sometimes be a bit matronly. I have a lot of dresses I like from there, but I’ve had to return some things that were boxy and/or frumpy. The Limited tends to run a little small & my problem there has been dresses that are too short or too $exy for work. The price point is similar, but that’s about it. I’ve been impressed with the quality of both, especially for the price.
Wanderlust
Thanks for the heads up! I just impulsively ordered 4 dresses.
Bonnie
I was pleasantly surprised by their quality and many of the dresses are machine washable. They’re not as oversized as they used to be but size down if you’re in-between sizes.
Gdzila
Y’all know how much I appreciate clothing that emulates my aesthetic but this is one unfortunate dress http://www.jny.com/Sleeveless-Snake-Print-Shift-Dress/28192339,default,pd.html?omn=cross-sell&omnsource=28192447
slugger
I think the biggest problem with that dress is the appearance of a gaping hole between the model’s thighs. Looks like a crazy kaleidoscope or something. You’re right, though, that dress is not for the sluggers out there.
Bonnie
That is unfortunate placement.
Lily-Student
I don’t think I’m seeing what y’all are seeing.
Someone in my office was wearing a snakeskin print dress and snakeskin shoes the other week. It would have been too much print for me but I admired her attention to detail!
LK Bennett dresses
Are LK Bennett dresses true-to-size? How do they compare to J.Crew dresses, size-wise?
C
Check their measurements on the sizing chart. I’m normally a 2 but went to a 4 when I ordered based on measurements and I was glad I did.
Warning: I had a terrible time returning the dress I ordered. Lovely tailoring but weird fabric. They give you a 14 day window to return sale/clearance items and it has to arrive at their warehouse during that time frame. My return was delivered (thank goodness for tracking) but it was never received. It took quite a bit of time getting my money refunded. Just be aware if you are returning a sale item. I don’t think I would order from them again.
LK Bennett dresses
Thanks for the warning! Fortunately, my city has a brick & mortar shop, so I’ll return there (if necessary).