This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Ellen
Elizabeth! Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and OLD NAVY stuff. This is a very cute blouse, and I totally LOVE the “No-Peek” concept (because of Frank, who ooogles me in the office), but why are these only available in plus sizes? Men do NOT distinguish between plus size women and petite women when it comes to ooogeling us, and the “no-peek” buttoning is something we all need more of to keep them from stareing at us. FOOEY!
Does OLD Navy have no-peek buttoning in smaller sizes? I am not that busty, tho it seems to suit to many men, whose eyes look there, and NOT me in the eye. DOUBEL FOOEY on those grungy loosers.
I have the day off, and will be doing my 10,000 steps by going to the High Line and Hudson Yards, which is where Dad now wants me to look for apartements. He told me this is an easy way for him to get to from LI, and I can take the 7 line over if I am to lazy to walk to work. He still insists on 10,000 steps a day, so I am not sure how I am goeing to get there if I take the subway. I am also heading home for the weekend. I am so tired of going to the Hamtons b/c I am almost getting black&blue with all of the guys who grab my tuchus when I go to the bars. Why do they have to squeeze all the time? Do they think we women like that? Well, we DONT! We want men to respect us, NOT squeeze us like oranges!
I wish the hive a great Labor Day weekend. Grandma Leyeh says she hopes by next year we will all be celabrating my marrage and pregnancy. I agree! YAY!!
Anon
I’m in a really crazy period at work right now and I’m having really physical reactions to stress (breaking out, canker sores, pulled muscles, super tight muscles). I usually manifest stress in other ways. Any tips on handling the more physical ones?
I’m usually pretty active but the combo of working crazy hours and the pulled muscles are making that a little tough
Ellen
Hugs. I know how tough it can get, and I handle it through mindfulness, which is what Dad described as mind over matter. Whenever I start getting stressed, I think to myself:
“What is the point of getting stressed? I know who I am and I know what I am and my value, and I will always do my best, and the best is all that I can do!”
If you think this, and repeat it to yourself 3-5 times with your eyes closed, you should be able to be like me, and have your mind overcome the stress (matter) that is in your head. Try it, and you will see for yourself! YAY!!!!!
Anonymous
For me, when stress gets to these levels it is a major signal that change is needed and has almost always resulted in me finding a new job, new role, insisting a new person be hired. To cope, my go tos are therapy and massage. For situations like you describe I up my therapy sessions from monthly or quarterly to weekly. Check if your work has free health coaching or wellness coaching programs. Similar, will help you reduce stress based on internal things. Plus I try to do a few massage therapy session.
OP
Yes! I’ve been working so much and I guess I got used to it (month #3 right now) that I no longer “felt”stressed, until I realized my body was rebelling
Law mama
Look for a massage place near office that does 30 minute massages – just wear comfortable pants and a tank and don’t even get undressed. You can dash, get massage, and be back in an hour. If you’re working till 2 in the morning anyway, the time spent on this once a week does not make a difference and can really help you feel better.
Anon
I’m saving up for a massage when this all ends and I can’t wait :)
Unfortunately even Groupon massages are out of my price range to be a regular thing!
Maudie Atkinson
In that case, I would recommend a foam roller and tennis or lacrosse balls, both of which can help you release some of that muscle tension yourself.
I keep a couple lacrosse balls in my office for this purpose, and I lay down on my back and slide the balls under my shoulders and around my cervical spine.
Anon
Gently, if you’re working crazy hours for a job that’s not compensating you appropriately, then maybe you really should consider looking for another job.
Anon
+1 I would seriously consider leaving a job that was causing me this much stress/eating into my free time and not paying me enough that I could afford regular massages.
Anon
Leave this job! They don’t pay you enough for you to be suffering like this.
Anon
Let’s say massages run ~$100-$150… I don’t think it’s terribly uncommon for regular massages to be out of someone’s budget!
Anonymous
Is there a massage school near you? You can get massages for super inexpensive
Anon
This. Is there a Chinatown near where you live? In NYC, I make sure to get a deep tissue Chinese massage once a week during crazy periods. They’re relatively affordable too.
If you can’t afford it, I find the closest equivalent to be a jacuzzi at the swimming pool or spa.
anon
Yoga. The time investment is so worth it. Do online videos if you can’t get to a class. Doesn’t even need to be a long time, but consistency will help.
OP
Thanks! The wake up call was when I went to yoga and was way too tight to even do yoga! I’m not a yogi by any means but I usually take a few classes a month and can hold my own
Anonymous
office yoga or 5 min meditations. Sleep and exercise as much as your schedule allows.
Maudie Atkinson
Seconding the recommendations for yoga and massage.
I’ve also found that in those stretches, staying hydrated is so helpful. I try to drink as much water as I possibly can, more than I think I need. It helps me with muscle tension, wards off headaches, seems to keep me more alert, and just makes me feel better overall.
Anonymous
A bath, often with a bottle of wine, really helps me to relax.
Anon
I prefer bathing with water myself. Wine can get sticky.
anon
I could have written this. Working from home whenever possible helps – transferring home in the evenings or total days from home whenever possible. I focus on eating bland/healthy food to help with the canker sores – think very simple salads, plain chicken, toast. Seems to help me feel more normal during crazy times.
Anonymous
Just spend whatever free time you do have taking care of yourself and making the best choices you can for the situation. Eat healthy – meal prep if you can or take-out salads, plenty of protein. Maximize sleep. 30 minutes of exercise most days. Even if that’s basically your only free time.
ElisaR
sounds minor, but I find drinking a lot of water helps with the physical ones….. (and wine too :)
Anonymous
You can search online for gentle stretching routines. Try a few and put together a custom set of those you find help most. Or if your back is ok, look for a Pilates mat routine.
Dwight Schrute
I’m in the same boat, so these are my practical suggestions:
– Epsom salt baths really help with overall pain and stress
– Magnesium supplements
– Drink a lot of water and cut out extra caffeine
– Listen to music that makes you happy and calm. You could even pick a few songs that you can put on during very stressful times at work
– Deep belly breathing. Just focus on your breath for a minute or 2 to try to refocus your body and mind
ToS
This was billed as medical leave of absence. In addition to the great practical tips here, if you are so stressed that taking more than a personal leave day or three might be in order, AND have an employer that is under FMLA, with about a year under your belt, look into an FMLA option. If you have a health condition that qualifies as a disability, you may want to look up potential accommodation options on the Job Accommodation Network website, or call them.
Promoted
My company has 2 sub-levels for each job title, which are not visible to clients etc.
I got promoted from senior consultant 1 to senior consultant 2, this means on my business card, it still shows as senior consultant.
Is there any way I can hint that I got promoted on my LinkedIn and CV? I am considering a job switch and want top show progress.
My next promotion to project manager should be in 6 months. Is it worth the trouble to signal the mid-promotion or should I just wait for the title change?
Annie
I wouldn’t. I think you can just mention it in a cover letter.
Anon
Nope, I think this is something that goes on a resume and would take up valuable real estate in a cover letter.
Anonymous
I’ve seen it listed like this on resumes: Senior Consultant 2, then out the date range for both roles combined. Then under that, the job description of what you do. The final bullet point is: promoted from Senior Consultant 1 as of _____ date.
Equestrian attorney
I would do this but list it as “Senior Consultant” or “Senior Consultant 1&2”
Anon
Are the job duties the same? If so, I wouldn’t list it and wouldn’t care if I was doing the hiring. If they are different, list it as two separate positions.
anon
I think this must be normal in some industries (marking a grade, that is) because job title may never change over a decade of promotions. But if you were asked about the change- does it reflect more than pay grade? is it a promotion that changes your work?
Anon
I’m the commenter from earlier in the week who was feeling weird about gardening with a new partner because of body insecurity. Thanks for all your advice. Took it to heart, and I ended up having a great time.
Ellen
I do not think I rember your comment, but am glad you have a better body image, and the fact that you are willing to share your body with a man and garden with him is all you need. Gardening is good for your mood (you see this for yourself), and trust me, the fact that you are providing your own body for him to “till the soil with” over Labor Day is what is paramount in his mind (and his weenie), which now has found a special new place to park. So go out there and enjoy, and by so doing, lower your stress level and blood pressure! YAY!!!!
Anon
Yay!
CountC
Love this!
Anon
This is a great update!
Never too many shoes...
Woo! Get it, girl.
Marie
That’s great!
Senior Attorney
Wonderful! Thanks for the update! :)
Coach Laura
Fantastic!
NOLA
Yay, you!
Anonymous
Does anyone have some good freezer meal resources? Websites they like? Books? I’m tired of eating out, ordering takeout. Would like to give some freezer cooking/dump dinners a try.
anonymous
I believe Mels Kitchen Cafe has a category for freezer meals and make ahead meals. I think I’ve also seen a post dedicated to that on Pinch of Yum.
Ms B
Ina Garten’s Make It Ahead. The pastitsio is delicious, among others.
Anon
What kind of takeout do you like? A lot of it is easily replicated at home!
Anonymous
We do a lot of Olive Garden. We also like Mexican
thehungryaccountant
Pinch of Yum has a great set of freezer meals that I prep for surgery, pregnancy, etc in my family. They’re decent “base” meals that I add fresh herbs and spices when I heat it back up.
Here’s the link: https://pinchofyum.com/12-healthy-freezer-meals
Anonymous
I agree with above. Meals that work for us are:
Lasagna
Meatballs
Marinara/meat sauce
Beef chili
Veg chili
Meatloaf
Soups
Shakshuka (cook eggs after thawing)
Sloppy Joe
Unfortunately, many of my freezer meals are very beef-heavy. I just find ground beef makes the best “freezer” meals. I hate ground turkey so I can’t speak to how that would work.
I also keep frozen pizzas, frozen vegetables and frozen fruit on hand
Flats Only
FWIW I have transitioned to subbing ground turkey (93/7%) for ground beef in a lot of recipes, and it does not affect the taste. So that’s an option if you don’t mind ground turkey. I don’t know that it’s actually much healthier.
Irish Midori
Ground turkey will never be the same as beef, not gonna lie, but it does help kick up the “meatiness” of the flavor if you throw in a teaspoon per pound of nutmeg. It’s weird, but it works. Also, if you’re using the frozen ground beef that comes in tubes, don’t. It has to be the fresh stuff.
Anon
I think “freezer meal” means something different to different people. For me, it means something that is fully prepared and ready to eat after thawing/rewarming. I haven’t loved any resources I’ve found for freezer meals, because many seem to have a different idea. That said, here are my winners:
Homemade burritos (no tomato or lettuce)
Pulled pork
Cooked lasagna (cut into single serve portions)
Cooked ribs (in single serve portions)
Frozen soups of most varieties
Homemade roast beef
Meatloaf
All accompanied by whatever veggies makes sense for the season. And I have frozen veggies on hand if my refrigerator is empty.
Anonymous
Basically any kind of casserole or soup freezes adequately well for me. I use SkinnyTaste recipes a lot – favorites include Stuffed Cabbage Casserole, Baked Potato Soup, and Mini Turkey Meatball Vegetable Soup. Her enchiladas are also good.
Anonymous
Curious about the cabbage or potato texture after thawing. Any issues?
Anonymous
I cook them before I freeze them and don’t have any issues, although I’m probably not very picky. The potato is pureed.
Anonymous
I started doing premade meals that are delivered 2x a week and if that’s an option where you are and price wise, it has been really helpful.
Miss
So the biggest aha moment I’ve had with premade meals is that there isn’t anything special about freezer dinners. Literally anything you can buy as a freezer meal in the store, you can make at home and freeze yourself. So take a stroll through the freezer aisle (lots of options from a variety of cuisines) and see what looks like something you can replicate. Lasagna, baked ziti, enchiladas, etc., are all really easy to make and freeze.
One thing that isn’t often frozen in stores, but is fantastic and easy is a soup or stew. It’s no more difficult to make double or even triple the recipe and freeze a quart or so. I use mason jars and reheat (without the lid of course) in the microwave.
anonandon
What is your favorite perk your company provides? I may be in a position soon to suggest some things to my bosses, so I’d love to crowdsource ideas. I’m more looking for things that work in standard offices than start up type things (we aren’t getting a foosball table) but feel free to share anything! Might be fun for a Friday.
Anonymous
Breakfast in main conference room on Christmas eve morning (pastries/muffins/coffee etc), usually we can leave at lunchtime (if nothing urgent) without having to take PTO.
Anonymous
I’ll see your pastries and raise it to close the office on Xmas Eve.
Early dismissal on Fridays before holiday weekends (Labor Day, Memorial Day, wed before thanksgiving)
anon
This. Maybe even a random day off too. Our CEO unexpectedly gave us the Friday after July 4 off and it was awesome.
Anonymous
I worked in an office previously where we shut down at noon the day before any holiday, and if a holiday was on a Thursday we got the next day off (so we always got Black Friday off). It had been a policy for a long time before I got there and when I asked the CEO about it, she said that in her view, since our clients were never around the day before or after a holiday wanting services, there was no reason to keep people in the office.
At that place we also had a policy that if the schools closed due to weather, the office closed too. It was great as I never had to scramble for childcare or take vacation if the schools closed.
Bean74
What about giving employees their birthdays as PTO? Follow federal holiday closing policies for birthdays that fall on holidays (so they can take the day before or after as appropriate) and weekends.
Abby
There was a great thread about this a few weeks ago, but flex time! Coming in late and leaving early to make appointments, run an errand, with the understanding that it’s not abused and all of the work still gets done. My old job had amazing flex time/WFH and it’s the thing I miss the most.
Anonymous
This! At my company, salaries are low for market. Our building is crummy. But they make up for it in flex time. I basically work when I need to and can leave when I need to. Company still gets the better end of the bargain. I did a time study, I’m at a management mid level position and work 50 hrs per week. But I can take the kids to doctors appts and even did intensive physical therapy for myself at one point, got full flexibility to do so.
Anonymous
I used to work somewhere with free soda. As a non-coffee drinker, I really appreciated that.
#alldrinks
Anonymous
This seems like an awful idea with the current obesity epidemic.
Sarabeth
I would really appreciate seltzer though. A Sodastream could work, for reduced environmental imapact.
Anonymous
Sodastream machine is a great idea. I vastly prefer water with bubbles and those inclined to soda could bring their own flavors.
Ms B
We have a Lavit machine that makes flavored and unflavored seltzers (5 calories each) and flavored still and sparking teas (10 calories each). It’s a big hit!
Anonymous
I would LOVE free seltzer
Anonymous
First thing I did when I came over to my current job (which has approximately 3534665 kinds of soda in the fridge*) was ask what the process was to get seltzer water in the fridge. Apparently since our vendor also sold lacroix, the process was to just ask. Now we have lemon, lime and grapefruit lacroix as options.
Anonymous
Um, I only drink diet or seltzer b/c #Vain but thanks. I think the places with free coffee and tea ALSO give you sugar / yellow packets / pink packets and fake cream, so why the soda hate?
#CarbonatedPeopleMatterToo
Um...
Because you can’t take out sugar from regular soda, whereas you can have coffee/tea sans sugar.
Anonymous
A can of soda has like 7-9tsp of sugar. Not many people are dumping that much sugar into their cup of office coffee. Starbucks ‘coffee’ drinks are basically soda obv.
Anon
No one asked you.
Anonymous
It’s an internet discussion board. Sorry not sorry that you want to pretend like soda instead of water isn’t a part of the obesity epidemic.
Flats Only
Ha! I am in charge of the soda fridge for my small office, and I have trouble believing the amount of soda these people drink. None of them are particularly overweight, but am sure at least one guy (they’re all men) is going to get a kidney stone from the 6 -8 diet cokes or iced teas he has every day.
Ellen
OP, I think this can be a fine idea, as long as there are BOTH healthy and no-cal choices. The OP is entitled to like what she likes, without others judging her for liking it. I think having carbonated no-cal seltzer is a great way to get the fizzies without the calories, if someone is sensitive to calories. Also, did you know that regular juice, tho healthy, has alot of calories, and Dad does not want me drinking OJ b/c of my tuchus!?! Personally, I do not drink sugary soda b/c of my tuchus, but others who have flatter tuchuses are certainly welcome to have regular sugary sodas. In the old days, I was able to have all of the 7 Up and Dr. Brown sodas I wanted @ the deli; now, I must restrict myself to Dr. Brown’s DIET Creme Soda b/c of the calories. Also, having Canada Dry or Schwepps Seltzer water is a good no-cal alternative that I subsribe to. So it should be live and let live, for everyone, without judgment. Can we just do this? I hope so. YAY!!!
Gail the Goldfish
Yep, the free Diet Dr. Pepper is very important to my life.
Also, I no longer have it, but my old firm’s health plan gave a reimbursement for a gym membership if you went X # of times in 6 months (I think it was 50?). It wouldn’t cover the whole gym membership, but I appreciated it.
Anon
We have 25 cent sodas. It’s pretty nice. It’s basically the Costco price when you break it down by can, but I appreciate that someone put in the effort. I like La Croix most days, but those full sugar coca colas are just the thing when I feel a headache coming on.
Anon
Our office recently switched from free soda to free seltzer, unsweetened ice tea, etc.
Anon
More PTO. Separate vacation/sick/bereavement/parental/personal leave buckets if you don’t already have them. If you’re slammed and can’t give people more time off, then being more generous about WFH and cash bonuses.
Anonome
My company subsidizes healthy foods in the cafeteria. You pay full price for pizza or fried stuff, but the healthy choices (salad bar, lean meats, steamed veg, and so on) are all incredibly cheap. I can get a large salad of fresh greens and veggies topped with broiled salmon for less than five bucks.
I love it because the unit prices are so competitive that I can eat a large variety of things without wasting grocery store produce at home (i.e., no more having to buy an entire bag of spinach and eat it non-stop all week, to make sure I use it up).
Anon
This perk sounds amazing!
Anonymous
+1
Lana Del Raygun
This seems weird and paternalistic to me.
Anon
Yeah, it’s totally insulting. I’m a healthy weight, I’m active, I eat a balanced diet, just let me eat whatever I’m in the mood for that day!
Anon
My company does this too. You can eat whatever you want. You just have to pay for it. The healthy food is free. I don’t see the issue.
Anon
Because it’s weird for my employer to be making judgments about what I eat and it represents an overly simplistic and un-scientific view of nutrition. With the exception of desserts like cake and cookies, very few foods have no nutritional value. Not everyone is overweight, and for someone who is underweight or someone who’s at a healthy weight but doesn’t get enough calcium in their diet, a slice of cheese pizza may actually be a “healthier” choice than a veggie salad because it’s better meeting a nutritional deficiency in their diet. I don’t object to a company taxing smokers because that’s something that’s pretty bright line: smoking is bad for you, not smoking is a healthier choice in every situation. But food choices are a lot more nuanced.
Lana Del Raygun
The issue is that the company is using financial incentives to steer you towards “good” foods and away from “bad” foods. That’s a harmful way think about food in the first place, and judgments about health are outside the bounds of what employers should be concerning them with. It creates a weird punishment-for-pizza vibe you wouldn’t get even if they just only stocked the “healthy” foods.
Anon
Anon at 11:09, pizza may be a healthier choice for someone who is fat too. Let’s not suggest that fat people “should” eat salads for health while thin people can eat pizza judgment-free. It’s stigmatizing and wrong.
Anon
Meh I don’t know how it’s any more insulting than gym stipends
Anon
Well you can eat whatever you want. The company pays for part or all (in my case) of the healthy food. Sorry, no complaints about part of my meal being free. I don’t see it as a judgment, but rather, I’m getting something free that I would otherwise have to pay for. Crazy that people would want to take away a perk because it might be insulting to someone who eats pizza or fried chicken. I eat those things too- some days I pay for lunch and some days I don’t. We also have an on site gym that many don’t use, but I do. Should we close the gym because it might be insulting to those that don’t use it?
Anonymous
Cheese pizza is the healthier choice for literally no one. Eat a probiotic yoghurt with your veggie salad if you need calcium.
rosie
I’d be happy about this, FWIW. I mean, I have no subsidized lunch option, but it’s cheaper for me to go out and get a slice of pizza than to get sweetgreen (and it’s not realistic for me to have all the salad fixings at home each week — I wouldn’t get the variety and would probably end up wasting a lot). Having a reasonably priced salad option would be great.
Vicky Austin
My company was recently considering a cafeteria software that allows you to set up a “wellness rewards program,” where if you buy ten food items deemed Healthy Choices you’ve earned some rewards points to cash in for a free coffee or whatever. Setting aside the utter tangle that accounting for that would be, that sounded like a hard nope. Stop spying on my food choices and deciding if they are acceptable to you.
rosie
I see a big difference between this kind of tracking/rewards points vs a simple subsidy. This sounds creepy.
Anon
Companies often set up things like this for health insurance discounts. I don’t think it’s a bad idea. It’s certainly not harming anyone.
Anon
Yeah I don’t understand the pushback on this. They aren’t changing people extra for unhealthy food, just offering a discount on certain food that happens to be healthy.
GCG
Honestly it is probably driven in part by health insurance costs. They probably either get a discount for offering subsidized healthy food or there was some sort of penalty for also subsidizing fried and junk foods.
Myrna M
“Weird and paternalistic”, for making healthy food cheaper? Like – why are you saying this? Why do you have to crap on what is almost just an empirically nice thing?
BabyAssociate
What a great idea!
Blueberries
This sounds awesome! Typically, I’ve seen healthier options cost a lot more than less healthy options at market rates—bringing them on par or making healthy options cheaper doesn’t harm the burger eaters, but makes it easier to choose the veggies and salmon. Frankly, there’s no obligation to run a corporate cafeteria in the US and the company could just choose to provide food that is healthier for most people, just as some choose to only provide only food that is less healthy for most people.
I’m not a fan of corporate wellness programs because they tend to be invasive and not effective, but I love this. I really don’t get the naysayers—no one is monitoring your choices and you’re no worse off than you would be under market conditions. Frankly, market is currently distorted due to government subsidies for things like corn and soybeans that make meat and junk food unnaturally cheap—the employer is helping to correct the distortions.
This kind of cafeteria doesn’t work for everyone, but no program will work for everyone—in a large population, there will always be people with unique needs, allergies/intolerances, and religious or ethical restrictions. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it to help people facing the more common problem of not eating enough veggies and eating too many calorie dense foods.
anonymous
Being able to easily work from home. Unlimited time off.
Anon
Voice of dissent. Unlimited time off is actually terrible. Your company doesn’t have to pay you for unpaid time when you leave. There’s no guidance on how much time off is acceptable so people tend to self regulate and take less (I’ve worked at places with unlimited time and set time, people take off way less time when there’s unlimited). I also find that when it’s unlimited it becomes intangible and people don’t view it as part of your comp package so are less likely to respect vacations.
Anon
Yeah, unlimited time off is standard in tech. Most of my friends have it and hate it. One friend works for a company where they have “unlimited” time off and she told me that the company HR released some stat (I think possibly accidentally?) that said the average employee used only 3.5 DAYS of PTO in the previous year. I will gladly take my govt job with 3 weeks of vacation I can actually use.
Anon
+1
January
My SO’s company switched to unlimited time off in the past year and all of these things are true.
Anon
Totally agree. People tend to use less time when they don’t have a “right” to use the vacation time. Also, many people have to still get approval for it. If your boss never lets you take vacation, or only lets you take very little of it, then you have no time off. It’s BS. Time off should not be random and discretionary at your boss’s determination.
The reason so many businesses have embraced “unlimited time off” is because it benefits the business, NOT the workers.
Anonymous
Right. As I understand it, the whole thing started because in California in particular, companies have to show employees’ accrued unused vacation time as a liability on company balance sheets. California law mandates that the company pay out accrued vacation when an employee separates and I guess theoretically the company could have to pay it all out at once if there was a mass layoff? If a company offers “unlimited” vacation time, there is no accrual, and so there’s no liability to show. So the balance sheet looks better. It’s 100% for the benefit of the company, not for the employees.
Estate Sales
Totally agree. I moved a year ago from a company with unlimited time off (where I got the side eye for taking much beyond one 1-week vacation a year even though I was one of the most prolific billers) to one with a generous but limited vacation policy. I MUCH prefer the new system.
As for perks– my favorite one is the generous vacation/holiday leave at my company. All the sodas/candy/dry cleaning/etc. aren’t going to raise my happiness if I’m subject to unreasonable expectations and no real time off.
Is it Friday yet?
Yes – my current (in-house) job just switched us from 20 vacation, 2 personal, 12 sick and 10 official holidays to “unlimited honors system” and we all freaking hate it. It’s totally so they don’t have to pay out when people leave, and you are 100% right in that it results in most people taking LESS. I am trying hard to use approx. 20 days a year, because that was what was promised when I was hired. My prior (toxic law firm) job was also “unlimited” but they’d give you a world of sh*t for actually taking much – like, they denied someone a raise and bonus because she took a 12 day trip (that they gave her permission to take), even though she was way over for her billables for the year. Not a fan.
GCG
Yes, this. Its one of those things that sounds great in theory but in practice is not as big of a benefit as it sounds.
Anon
What you want is very generous time off, but defined – like six weeks or more. Then you have plenty of vacation but you will get paid out at the end if you leave.
anonymous
*shrug* Unlimited time off works fine for me. I can take a couple of hours off a day for an appointment without having to keep track of my time. Not everyone works in a toxic environment. People at my work actually take vacations and don’t work while they are on vacation.
Anon
A lot of people can leave for a couple hours for an appointment without using PTO, that’s not rare or a function of an unlimited vacation policy. It’s great if unlimited vacation works for you, but the reason companies do it is to avoid paying out accrued vacation to departing employees, and it’s well-documented that workers take fewer days off after the implementation of unlimited vacation policies.
Anon
Being able to take off a few hours without using PTO is pretty common at places without an unlimited vacation policy.
You can blame it on toxic work environments but there have been a ton of studies that unlimited policies result in people taking less time off.
K120
Flex time and compressed work weeks. I have both in my current job and it would take a lot for me to leave for a company without them.
We also have a health clinic on site which I realize is most feasible for large companies. It’s great for minor issues and regular check ups. Saves a lot of time for doctor’s appointments and the rates are cheaper as well.
CountC
In addition to the ones already mentioned, I really love having a fitness center with free personal training at work. We also have a program where you can join any number of local gyms for $29/mo.
January
YES, my old job had an in-office gym and I loved it. Even if its purpose was to keep us at the office longer.
Anon
Flex time and WFH with strong IT support. I don’t want anything else. Pastries are nice but in no way important perks.
Law mama
YES to IT support!!
Anonymous
Free. Tampons.
Anon
Meh, that sounds like a performative perk more than anything.
Anonymous
I work for a stuffy suburban old boys school law firm. They aren’t performative about free tampons! I doubt the male partners even know. But all of us women love it. Huge cost savings and so convenient.
Sarabeth
I think it’s great! I’m super irregular, so I am always surprised when my period shows up. Obviously I keep supplies in my desk, but knowing there’s always a backup at work is also awesome.
Anon
I guess that’s a good point – most women I know, including me, are using DivaCups so tampons haven’t been on my radar for a long time now. Glad your office provides this nice perk!
anon
Wow, I hardly know anyone who uses a cup these days. Interesting. They were really popular when I was in law school about 10 years ago, but that seems to have largely gone away, at least in my social circle (I no longer use one personally).
Anonymous
Anon at 10:58, may I ask why you no longer use one? I’ve been considering switching over to a cup so I’m curious about why somebody would switch in the other direction.
anon
I found that I could always feel the cup, no matter where I placed it or how good the seal was. I also ended up with frequent UTIs while using it, probably due to the fact that I was having to mess with it and remove/reinsert it a bunch due to issue #1 (I was very careful about washing my hands and sanitizing the cup, but if you’re messing with it as much as I had to, it’s hard to ensure 100% sterility). Ultimately it was just never fully comfortable for me. I have a very light flow, so I’ve never had to use a ton of tampons in any case.
I tried disposable cups as well and had a similar issue. I thought about trying another brand of cup, but they’re fairly expensive purchases if it doesn’t work out.
rosie
Agree. I use a cup, but it’s really nice to have a tampon readily available in the event of surprises, which often happen at the worst times (like running to bathroom before a meeting so will be late if I have to go back to my desk to get something to use, and turns out period is early).
Myrna M
You sound delightful.
Anon
I long for the day when having free tampons in the bathroom is as standard as free toilet paper.
anon
Amen.
Anon
I’m sure someone else will say this but: the best perks are good leave policies, work expectations, and insurance coverage.
That being said: soda and juice and sparkling water, a wellness room for pumping or even just taking a breather, and early Friday quitting times a few times a summer.
Anon
Unlimited free sodas. Also, 3-4 times a year when the weather is unseasonably nice, we will close the office early on a Friday.
thehungryaccountant
-Variety of student loan repayment options, a prior employer “matched” up to 5% of 401K plan for people paying off loans and unable to contribute to the company run 401K.
-Wellness room, in our case just an extra office with a comfy chair
-Access to building gym (or discounted classes)
-Early dismissal on Fridays (if work is completed)
-High 401k matching or automatic percentage contribution
-Large refrigerators and regular work kitchen cleaning
thehungryaccountant
Oh and more casual dress code for the summer.
Anon
Office closure between Christmas and New Year’s with no need to take PTO.
Anonymous
+1
Never too many shoes...
We also have this and it is awesome. Totally resolved the tension between the people with kids (always want the time) and the people without kids (who do not want to work all the holidays).
Anonymous
This week plus Black Friday, if the 4th of July is on a Tuesday or Thursday, give the Monday or Friday off, and early dismissal before Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day. I just feel like very little to nothing gets done during these times, it should create so much goodwill with employees…
all about eevee
We have this and it is my favorite.
Equestrian attorney
– Maternity/parental leave
– 401k matching
– Good PTO
– Flex time
– Summer fridays
– WFH
Smaller stuff: Subsidized gym membership, snack room, flu shot clinic, food and/or taxis if staying past 9m.
Anon
I work in higher ed. We have really low salaries but good perks. My favorite ones are 4 weeks of vacation time (separate from generous sick leave), a holiday closure between Christmas and New Years and an automatic 10% in your 401(k) regardless of how much you contribute.
NOLA
Yeah, we also have liberal leave days and times when any non-essential personnel are allowed to be off without vacation. We don’t have counted sick leave, but as others have mentioned, it actually makes you less likely to take it. Oh, and the university gym is free for faculty and staff.
Anon
I wish we had that! Our campus gym is $60/month for faculty and staff, so fairly affordable but very far from free.
BabyAssociate
Things we have that I like:
– separate sick and vacation time buckets
– early dismissal the day before a holiday
– closure the Friday after Thanksgiving
– great 401k match
– flu shots (this is small, but makes it so easy!)
Things I wish we had:
– more casual dress code (even the occasional casual Friday would be great)
– Christmas Eve/NYE as a holiday
– fitness credit
In-House in Houston
We have 3 great perks that I’ll mention here (but many others): fitness reimbursement up to $500 a year, so you can use it for yoga classes, fees for running a marathon, anything physical, I’ve even heard some people use it to pay for little league for their child – we have this even though we have a on-site gym at our HQ). We also have 2 days off a year paid to volunteer for any charitable organization or non-profit – I know employees who have used this day to chaperone their child’s school field trip (for a public school). We also have a match up to $15,000 for charitable donations, and if you volunteer 20 hours for a charity, the company will give that charity $500. It’s pretty neat! Granted I work for a Fortune 30 company, so we have the resources to do this.
CountC
We also have similar perks around volunteering and charitable donations. It’s pretty cool.
Lana Del Raygun
We get dismissed 59 minutes early before holiday weekends, which is as much as management up to our center director is allowed to approve (my supervisor often gives us 59 minutes after we wrap up a project). Once we got it just because the weather was nice! And the agency head gave us 4 hours before the 4th of July.
Anonymous
8% 401k match.
Sarabeth
I had a job that paid for lunch once/week if you ate with coworkers. The limit was relatively low ($10/person, although this was almost a decade ago), but it was enough to encourage us to eat together. Otherwise, we all worked very independently, so this was an effective and fun way to encourage us to get to know each other and share knowledge. It probably wouldn’t be as appreciated in an office where you are already in meetings with your coworkers all the time, but in that environment, it worked really well.
Anon
I love that idea.
Anon
This is an awesome idea
Anon
I don’t get this perk, but I’d love fitness reimbursement or a subsidized membership to the gym in my work building.
I don’t think this is a thing in the states, but I love love love that my extended health care covers massage and PT and all sorts of other “nice to have” stuff without any sort of prescription up to a certain amount each year. That’s pretty standard for professional jobs in Canada, but could be a good perk in the States.
anon
$25,000 of coverage for IVF in our health plan.
rosie
This is a HUGE benefit to those who need to use it, and I don’t know if it’s really on employers’ radar that often. I think people don’t realize how much fertility treatments cost unless they’ve been through it.
Anon
Paid time off for volunteering, separate from other paid time off.
Parfait
This! My company just started this up and it’s wonderful. 8 hours per quarter of paid volunteer time, in full- or half-day increments. Sure I could have taken a PTO day to go help out at my favorite org, but I never have. But I sure will now.
We also have 6 weeks of PTO (at 10+ years, which is me, yay) and 10 paid holidays, which means I get a full 2 months off.
anon
They reimburse you $55 a month for your gym membership if you go at least 6 times per month. A single membership at our local Y is $55 a month, so if you go to the Y six times, your membership is free. Or you can go somewhere fancier and more expensive for a discounted rate. It’s really nice.
Anon
Back up childcare! Two of my workplaces in DC have had this perk. In one place, it was heavily subsidized (maybe $25 for full-day for infants through middle school in a clean, fantastic facility right next to the office, and you could book it as late as the night before); my current workplace has it free. We get 15 days per child per year. It is BRILLIANT and has saved my family several times.
anon a mouse
Yes, I’ve had this perk at 2 jobs now and it is so awesome.
Also, a generous 401k match (8%) and generous tuition reimbursement for anything, not just degree-seeking.
JS
Catered lunches daily
Unlimited sick time
Free workout classes during the work day (that you’re encouraged to attend)
Anon
I don’t have children (yet anyway), but think it’s great that some companies offer on site daycare.
Blueberries
Shore up the fundamentals if needed before going flashy (health coverage, time away from work for vacation, sick, and parental leaves, hopefully decent working hours, retirement plan with some matching).
Cheap perks: I’d love seltzer, loved the firm that provided a variety of fresh dairy and nut milks for coffee/tea, catering dinner during crunch periods if necessary, healthy snacks, flexibility for working remotely as the work allows, amazing dental benefits, dependent care FSAs, corporate discounts for things people actually use.
Expensive perks: very generous vacation and other time away from work, large retirement matching, amazing health benefits (IVF, a large company donation to hospital sometimes get small perks for employees), subsidized healthy food for lunch, backup child care through a top local agency, food delivery subsidy for new parents/people on medical leave, subsidy for regular child care for lower wage workers to help the workers and so that the company doesn’t have to cut off contributions for everyone mid year in order to avoid flunking discrimination testing, good onsite gym.
Not worth it: concierge service for employees (the one I used basically just Googled for you), backup care through Bright Horizons—they’ve wasted a ton of time and never come through on a sick day for my family, modest corporate discounts for random brands—it takes forever to wade through the offers and they’re rarely that good
Anonymous
– Subsidized gym membership at a high end gym attached to our building – makes the membership $92/month (it’s usually $160 for a single)
– Financial counselors
– Employee stock purchase program with a 15% discount
– lots of affinity groups for employees
– mental wellness programs/resources
– prescription plan that makes most medicine $0 or very low copay
wellness perks
Caveat: my org has it easier than some I guess, because we actually have a mandate to serve the population with one lifestyle disease, and within one cultural group, so that simplifies the need to provide an option acceptable to everyone. But, even so, I think they do some things well.
The building is much too small to have a caf, but we do have a full size kitchen. Once a week a few volunteers (still on paid time) prep healthy snacks in individual portions and sell them cheap. Veggies, obviously, and hard boiled eggs, and slices of summer sausage (high protein). I think it’s great that its mid-week, right around the time weekend mealprep runs out, a lot of my coworkers stock their mini-fridge for several days.
Summer (may-oct?) a farmstand sets up in the lobby a few hours every week in the summer. Admittedly, this is a distraction from work, the day I ended up with (super-sweet) VIP behind me in the long line saying, “don’t you people have jobs to do?” was slightly awkward. But for people who are in more of a hurry, or might not make it down till later, she also brings CSA type boxes. I usually just stop by for greens or whatever’s on my list, because I meal-plan. The first year (we have very low turnover) there would be a lunchtime cooking class for the best seasonal produce the next day.
anon
an ergonomic specialist that came and fitted your workstation to you, ordered whatever tools needed ( foot stool, headset, different chair)
-subsidized popcorn machine, ($.50) the popcorn salt is addictive if you choose to add it, and no one ever makes/burns microwave popcorn.
-the company is a big donor to the local zoo and covers the first $50 of a membership every year.
Small Firm IP Litigator
-truly unlimited vacation time (I am the voice of dissent that likes this because it actually works at our firm)
-WFH when you need to/ability to leave for mid-day appointments freely
-paying entire medical, dental, and vision insurance premiums
-no billable hours requirement due to nature of work (contingency)
Paging Online Mental Wellness
Saw the request for online resources on mental wellness late in the day yesterday but wanted to recommend The Science of Well-being on Coursera. There’s a free online version of one of Yale’s most popular class on the science of happiness. Very interesting information but also a lot of practical tips to increase happiness.
Heels
I’m looking for realistic “world as it is” rather than “world as it should be” responses. Do you think a jury expects/prefers a female litigator to wear heels? I’m doing my first trial alone so feel a bit more pressure to sell myself to the jury.
Suburban
My gut tells me that this depends on the location/make up of your jury.
Maudie Atkinson
Probably heavily dependent on geographic region. Where are you?
In the SEUS, I would say, “yes,” but reasonable minds could differ.
Heels
I’m from a large Canadian city but the trial is in a smaller town. To avoid looking like a “big city lawyer” I wouldn’t be wearing 4″ stillettos, likely a kitten heel or max 3″ heel. Litigators wear gowns in my jurisdiction so the only variable is black skirt vs. black pants and black flats vs. black heels. I’ll be wearing pants for practicality and personal comfort, and I think pants plus flats may be pushing me a bit too far from the image of a female litigator jurors will be expecting.
Anonymous
Canadian from a smaller city. I would just do pants and flats if that’s what you prefer. The skirt vs. pants thing isn’t such a thing in Canada IMHO.
Anon
If Toronto, flats are definitely fine. But I find most Canadian cities outside of the major cities to be oddly backwards in mentality (think Alabama). So I would go with heels.
Alabaman
Wow.
Anonymous
This is not true at all. Easily half the female litigators at my firm regularly wear black pants and flats with their court clothes.
Never too many shoes...
As a gown wearer, I would probably still wear heels, if only to balance out the gown bulk a bit. I feel like when I wear my gown with flats I do not carry myself with the same confidence.
trefoil
Criminal lawyer in the Prairies, all of the jury trials I have run were in rural centres: no one cares, so wear what makes you comfortable, as long as it doesn’t impede your ability to do your job (present exhibits, run AV equipment, etc). I wear skirts with my robes, and have worn flats and heels without comment. I usually wear a low-heeled oxford and black tights, because it means I can haul my trial boxes into the courthouse or run after absconding witnesses without embarrassing myself.
anon
I agree but do not believe the heels need to be crazy. 65mm block heels will do the job. (2.5 inches)
Housecounsel
Yes. When I was trying cases. I wore pantyhose (eeek) and reasonable heels. I didn’t want anything about my appearance to distract, and I think it is typical and expected that a skirt suit goes with heels.
Housecounsel
Good point from Maudie. I was in Chicago.
Anon
Not a lawyer. The last jury I was on, both prosecutor and defense attorney were women. The defense attorney looked generally put together – think Casual Corner separates. Her clothes and shoes were unremarkable. Shoes were flats. My main memory of her was of her trying to do the best she could with an unsympathetic defendant.
The prosecutor wore an ill-fitting skirt suit that may have been expensive but looked awful – think job interview suit 15 pounds ago. She wore heels. She also did a horrible job prosecuting the case, relying on what she presumed to be the jury’s deeply ingrained racial biases instead of actual facts/evidence. Basically, her clothes, while awful, was the least worst thing about what/how she presented.
Heels
Yes, I am also putting a lot of effort into preparing for the substantive aspects of the trial as well. I just don’t want to lose any (even subconscious) points from the jury because of my clothes if I can avoid it.
Busybee
What do you mean by she relied on assumed prejudices rather than evidence? Can you give an example?
Anon
Sure. Here are a couple:
She described the fact that the defendant wore a do-rag when first encountered by the local PD as evidence that he was evasive (?). I still don’t know what she was getting at with that. It was irrelevant to the case as the security footage showed a person wearing a hat.
She cited him referencing a longtime friend as a cousin(“I was with my cousin.”) when asked where he was at the time of the crime as evidence of lying. The close friend/cousin thing is so beyond common in black communities here you’d have to be willfully ignorant to see evasiveness, malice or a lie in that.
This was in southern Alabama, where you’re all but guaranteed a predominantly white jury pool.
Irish Midori
YIKES! What century are we in again? That’s awful. I know racism is a thing, but I’ve usually seen everyone at least try to clean it up for the professions. I think you could legit complain to the bar for comments like these in my state. Not that anything would be done about it, but maybe it would buy a little Above the Law shaming, for whatever that’s worth.
Anon
I was completely shocked when we began deliberations and a majority wanted to convict. Her and the police’s entire case was, “Here’s a black guy with a record so of course he’s guilty”. Maybe he did do it, but none of the evidence presented demonstrated that. I realize that actual law enforcement/trials aren’t like Law & Order, but there was nothing, and frankly, they didn’t put that much effort into what they did have. I was actually surprised they had enough probable cause to even make the arrest. They retried the case a couple of months later (I and another person on the jury… the two folks who weren’t originally from there refused to convict) with a more seasoned prosecutor and he was then convicted. The guy’s now serving life in prison for robbery because of AL’s habitual offender law. He had prior burglary convictions.
From doing a bit of research after the trial, my gut feeling is that his brother committed the crime, since he used to work at the place where the robbery occurred, and frankly, the guy on trial just wasn’t bright enough to put together a robbery. He was a petty burglar and not even much good at that. The brother knew where the safe was, when they closed, who was working that night, etc. The brother was also in college and had more to lose if he got caught, so my gut feeling is that this guy took the fall. I could be wrong, and that didn’t play into the original messed-up-ness of the original trial, it’s just that much sadder if I’m right.
The Good Wife
Yes
Anonymous
I don’t actually think they care as long as you are not distracting.
Anon
No. I’m in Mass and the only attorneys I see wearing traditional high heels are very young attorneys. If you aren’t comfortable going full on flat, I’d recommend a low block heel from a comfort line since you will be on your feet so much.
Anon
Yes I also associate very high heels with being young and inexperienced. If you want to seem like a confident veteran of the process, I’d go with medium heels at the highest.
The impression I would really try to avoid is city slicker lawyer in a small town.
Anon
I think it depends on where you are and what level of court
I’ve been on two juries in DC courts. One of the public defenders was a female. She worn a mix of suits and nice dresses with non-matching jackets, but I have no idea what shoes she wore.
Irish Midori
Depends on the region for sure. You are much better off in flats than in heels that are awkward to walk or uncomfortable to stand in, because the jury MIGHT notice your shoes but WILL notice you feeling awkward. If you are better in flats, pair with a pantsuit so the shoe is not so visible. My stance is always better and more confidant in flats and pants, so I go with that.
Anon
This is a great point. Some jury members may care about your shoes but all of them will pick up if you’re uncomfortable/feeling awkward
Anon
In Ontario, I think you are pretty safe wearing whatever you prefer for shoes. (I’m also from Ontario, albeit not an on the ground litigator.) The way you wear your hair and do your makeup (or not) is going to be much more visible to the jury. Honestly, I’d keep appearance things low key. Small town Ontario is not a showy bunch. And neither is big town Ontario, for that matter.
Never too many shoes...
This is one of the things where I feel the gowns are a great equalizer. Your bottoms are the only thing over which you have real control.
Miss
I think jury trials are a place to be conservative because you want them to have a good impression of you but not necessarily remember your clothes. I’d do a low heel or a block heel if you can wear it comfortably. I also think juries prefer skirt suits, so that’s what I tend to wear on the first day or so. I personally prefer pant suits so I mix those in for a longer trial.
ElisaR
not a lawyer – but in finance. A woman I knew interviewed for a big job at our company and one of them afterward said to me “um, why was she wearing those commuting shoes?” They weren’t commuting shoes. They were dressy flats. I think not everyone has this perception, but I would say sensible heels over flats due to this interpretation.
anon
In SoCal, former prosecutor with 10+ jury trials. Wore heels for some but not for others – I can honestly say I don’t think the jury cared. Never wore pantyhose (nonexistent here).
House Decor
I need to replace some ceiling fans (w/ and w/out lights) and light fixtures (foyer, dining room, eat-in kitchen). The options online are a bit overwhelming – any recommendations? The house is a mix of traditional and modern. Looking for brushed nickel finishes for the light fixtures; the three locations currently have smallish chandeliers.
CHL
WE have Modern Fan Co Torsion from Build.com, and Westinghouse Comet 52 inch recommended by the Wirecutter.
Anon
We’ve had this for five years in the master bedroom in silver. It’s super low profile and doesn’t make any noise after all this time. 3 speeds + reverse.
Anon
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CLDE0KU/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Irish Midori
Related to the freezer meal question, has anyone come across a good weekly meal planner that is good about overlapping ingredients? I was using the Real Simple one, and liked it (particularly the grocery list it came with!), but it sometimes got a little exotic for my taste and regional shopping options, and I still would wind up with a whole load of ginger root to get the one tablespoon called for on Tuesday. I’d love to find something that has you buy a whole bag of spinach or green onions and then use them over a few meals.
thehungryaccountant
I’ve heard recs for the cookbook “Cook Once Eat All Week”, but haven’t used it personally. Might be a good place to start.
Coach Laura
Hopefully, it’s not too late and you’re checking back for more suggestions… If you sign up on the Cook Once website fed + fit she’ll send you a 5-day meal plan. I’ve ordered her book from the library to see if I want to invest in it.
CHS
CookSmarts is awesome for this. You buy exactly what you need for the week, and often use it over 2-3 meals.
Em
+1 I used CookSmarts for awhile and really enjoyed it, particularly for this reason.
Vicky Austin
Psst…you can keep your ginger root in the freezer. :)
Irish Midori
Ooh, really? That is excellent to know! I love fresh ginger and hate to throw it out.
Parfait
Yup, you can grate it while it’s still frozen too.
Anon
I buy ginger and ginger/garlic paste at my local Indian market. It saves me the trouble of peeling/chopping and has a long shelf life in the fridge. Sometimes I use fresh, but I like to have this shortcut available.
Anonymous
Ginger – I gave up and just bought tubes of ginger paste…
Gail the Goldfish
trader joe’s sells frozen cubes of minced garlic and minced ginger that I use.
Anonymous
I’m the OP with the freezer meal question and lurking on this post. The issue you raised has been my primary frustration with meal planning sites. I tried eMeals for example and there was just too much variation.
anon
Skinnytaste is decent for this. I get frustrated wasting the ginger and green onions, but she’s pretty giid about using up the rest of the spinach and the other half of the bell pepper. And my fridge diesnt have too many random condiments- only a handful
HM
Yes! The Fresh 20 does a great job with this. Healthy and affordable.
Anon
A bit late but +1 – this is what I use, for the exact reasons the OP describes. Paying for 1 year access allows you to download 3 years of archives… I am basically set with close to a thousand weekly meal plans sorted by season using efficiently a limited set of ingredients each.
Anon
You can probably freeze a lot more “specialty” items than you think – budgetbytes (add com) is a good resource on how to stretch or substitute expensive ingredients. Some things changes texture, but is still nice to eat, e.g. Stilltasty (add com) is great for checking how long ingredients last, or whether they can be frozen.
As for actual menus that use things up, you probably have more luck if you look at budget conscious menus and articles.
One resource that I’ve seen is the meal plans at tastesbetterfromscratch (add com), which has printable shopping lists where you can see at once whether you have the staples, spices or “other” stuff in the menu. It’s also easy to just decide to use one kind of rice (the one you already have), one kind of cheese for all the recipes, etc.
Miss
Not so much formal meal planning, but the book Everlasting Meal is all about using what you have on hand. She gives examples of meals to make throughout the week but does not rely on detailed recipes. It’s an excellent book and once you know about it, you’ll be shocked how many well-known chefs bring it up.
Anonymous
I’m looking for a new lip product and would love some recommendations. In the past I’ve either worn nothing at all (just clear chapstick) or the Clinique almost lipstick in black honey. I’ve gotten older and started wearing glasses and I just feel like I need a little more brightness on my face and I’d like to try some lip color. I’m not interested in any of those long-lasting super matte products because I hate the way they feel and seem to wear pretty unevenly. I like the black honey because it fades away so gradually/naturally that it isn’t a big deal if I’m not able to reapply right away, but I’d like to try something with a bit more oomph. Any ideas?
Anon
Laura mercier makes a sheer lipstick and something called a stick gloss. The stick gloss looks like a lipstick but delivers a fairly sheer color, moisturizing but definitely with more oomph than the black honey. I like the Laura mercier plum shade.
Katie
You may like a lip stain! I wear it with chapstick over it and the color lasts all day. It brings brightness to my face without looking too unnatural.I use the Peripera ColorFit Lip Tint Water Gel in Beet and apply it subtley,
Anonymous
I’m fond of the Burt’s Bees Red Dahlia tinted balm as a dupe for Black Honey, so I’d try one of their more pigmented lip shimmers or lipsticks, again with a bit more oomph. Inexpensive and readily available at the drugstore.
Anon
Are you looking for a sheer gloss type thing or do you want shade recommendations of moisturizing traditional lipsticks?
Anonymous
Hmm, I’m not really sure what I’m looking for. I suppose I’d like shade recommendations of moisturizing lipsticks – something not super bright or bold, but a step up from the black honey I’ve been using, and something that will fade really well/evenly if I’m not able to reapply. Does that make sense? I’m new to lip products so I may not be describing it very well.
Anon
I love the Sephora brand lip stains.
SFAttorney
Fresh Sugar tinted lip treatment in various tints add some color but are pretty sheer. And they have SPF.
Miss
This is what I recommend. Fresh has a variety of tints so you can choose how much color you want. Great texture, moisture, color, and sun protection.
RR
I think you’d like the Glossier sheer matte lipsticks. They are buildable and fade in a nice gradual way. I layer on a little balm, and I’m amazed at how long it lasts. You can get a little more drama by building or adding colored gloss on top.
Ariadne
I’ve been reading past mattress threads here to gather all the great info from the community and I’m wondering how people have liked the Caspar— thinking of purchasing one today or tomorrow. More specifically, as a busty woman who wears a sleep bra, would the foam be more comfy than a spring? I currently have a spring, but before that I slept on foam and futons during university. Current mattress is on its last legs and I wake up with a smooshed feeling chest despite artful and strategic pillow arrangements! I can try and buy other brands too— husband likes the Caspar but is willing to try out various in store options this weekend. Tia!
Bean74
We’ve had a Caspar for almost three years. I think it’s okay but my husband loves it. It’s not supportive enough for me. It also depends on the set-up of your current bed. You won’t need a box spring with it but you’ll need some sort of support, ideally a platform-style bed. We rigged a regular bed with extra slats to make it more supportive.
Ariadne
Thank you! We currently have extra slats for our current mattress as we have never really liked box springs. Good to know that it’s soft— luckily there is a b and m Casper store to try near me.
Beans
Mean girls at work dilemma. I’m an in-house lawyer who has been with my company for less than a year. Today, I heard from my admin that a woman that I do not work with believes I am “snobby” and has been telling other employees at my company that I am a snob. I’m shocked that I am dealing with this at this point in my career. Do I approach this woman directly? Do I let it go? Apparently, she is a huge gossip but I don’t want her affecting my reputation and career path. I come from a law firm background, so I am not sure how to handle.
Anon
Ask her to lunch
Pink
If she’s already known around the office as a huge gossip, I’d straight up ignore it. IME engaging with this type of person in any capacity other than coolly professional will only drag you down.
Anon
Bring in enough doughnuts for every person to have 1.5. Sell it like you wanted everyone to celebrate something (Labor day, whatever).
In-House in Houston
Don’t confront her; it’ll just make it worse. Just be nice/pleasant to everyone, like I’m sure you already do. If she is saying this to other people, your actions will contradict that and they’ll know it’s just her. I judge character on my own, so if someone tells me something I might listen but in the end I’ll make the determination. Try not to let it stress you out.
Suburban
This kind of person is as dangerous as grease on the floor. Do not engage. Be professionally friendly but keep it moving. The donut idea will work like a charm on everyone else.
Anonymous Poser
Unless I am missing something, it appears from a quick site search that Old Navy seems to think that the “no gap” modification is useful only for plus-sized clothing. That’s a great start, and I would love for it to make its way into the rest of their clothing line, as well.
Anon
What is that?
Ms B
On the casual end of things, Duluth does this on some of their button ups and it is a big selling point for me. The shirts are good for farmer’s marketing, gardening, hiking, etc.
Honestly, I would like this to be a feature on all button ups.
TLR
Yes!!!
Morning Routines
I’m trying to shorten my “get ready” time in the mornings to be able to maximize getting to work early and sleep. What are your morning routines and what are must-dos and easy-to-skip parts?
How long does it take you overall?
Anonymous
40 min out the door. Shower and dress 20 min, 5 min makeup and hair, 10 min deal with family stuff, 5 min to grab a breakfast burrito from the freezer and make coffee.
Pink
Honestly, my toddler is the limiting factor on how long it takes me to get ready.
Some tips that might be helpful to you:
I shower at night and wash my hair every 2-3 days.
I let my hair air dry overnight.
I choose my outfit the night before. I don’t lay it out or anything; I just decide on it.
I rarely eat breakfast (not saying this is what you should do, but it does save time).
It takes me about 40 minutes from getting up to getting out the door, with about 15 minutes of that being something toddler needs me to help/do.
Anonymous
It takes me 45 minutes to get ready. I shower, get dressed, dry my hair, put on moisturizer/sunscreen, a little bit of make-up, then pour coffee in my travel mug, grab my lunch out of the fridge, kiss kids and husband goodbye and run out the door. I set up coffee and lunches (for me and the kids) at night, set out kids clothes at night, and our nanny comes in the morning to get them up and ready. If I am really running late, I can throw my hair in a bun and just put on moisturizer, mascara, and some lip gloss. For me, making sure things are ready to go the night before helps a lot.
Biggest Balls in the Room
Honestly, my biggest time saver is having my outfits planned for the week ahead of time. I also make sure anything I need in my daily bag is already in place so that I can get up, hop in the shower, get dressed and ready and go. My makeup is minimal and I can apply in less than 5 minutes. I usually give myself a blowout at the beginning of the week that will keep my fair in fairly decent shape for the first few days.
Anon
Takes me 20-30 minutes to get out the door.
— Shower — I only wash my hair every 3-4 days, so most days is just a quick 5 minute rinse, maybe quickly shaving my legs and/or armpits. Takes 5 minutes if not washing my hair, 10 minutes if washing my hair.
— When I get out of the shower, I spray on some aerosol deodorant and put vitamin C serum on my face.
— If I’ve washed my hair, then next step is blow-drying (I have short, fine hair and this takes 5 minutes).
— My make-up routine (in order of application): Dr. Jart moisturizer, curl eyelashes, Glossier mascara, Elta MD sunscreen, take a break to let sunscreen dry and grab workout clothes (tops, leggings, sports bra, socks, sneakers) and stuff them in my gym bag along with lunch (either frozen or something I packed the night before), finish make-up with Nars concealer around eyes, pat on some Pat McGrath foundation with my fingers, add some Milk makeup blush stick, set with Nars transparent finishing powder. I set skincare/makeup out in order that I apply it, and I put it each thing back in my makeup bag as soon as I’ve applied it. I work quickly and it takes 5 minutes tops with a couple extra minutes for packing my gym clothes and lunch while letting my sunscreen dry. I then stick my makeup bag in my gym bag in case I need to reapply anything after the gym later (like if I am going out to dinner).
— Put on clothes — no need to pick them out since I wear a similar outfit most days (dark dress and black low wedges) so it’s just a matter of what’s clean.
— Add earrings and necklace. I only have a couple options so it’s easy.
— If today is a hair-washing day, I’ll run some pomade through my hair before leaving.
Anon
Forgot to mention, I drink coffee at work and don’t eat breakfast. So that shortens some time as well.
anon
I’m about 40-45 min to get out the door. This is what I do:
-Shower the night before – super impressed by those who can get out the door in 45 minutes with a shower
-pick out clothing the night before. Ideally, I’d pick and prepare everything for the week on a Sunday but that doesn’t always happen
-Makeup takes about 12 minutes, but I don’t take time to style my hair.
-pack lunch and breakfast the night before
-I do make one cup of pour over coffee to take with me.
My husband and 4 year old are still asleep when I leave. If the child wakes up, I get delayed.
Anonymous
The easiest to skip part for me was full makeup and hair. I skimmed my makeup routine down to a CC cream, basic eyes, blush, lipstick. Hair is a mix of mousse and some oil for the ends and a quick blow dry.
NOLA
I take longer than I should, but can get out the door fairly quickly, if need be.
-fairly simple makeup routine that I do the same (pretty much) every day
-if I need to shave, I do it when I shower in the evening (after the gym)
-have everything laid out on the counter in the kitchen for the morning (coffee stuff, cat bowl and her food and spoon, my cereal bowl and spoon), refill kettle, put it on the front burner so it just has to be turned on
-have everything to pack my gym bag at hand to go in. I don’t pack it in advance because some things (like shoes) need to dry out overnight. But I have everything in the bag that I can in advance or on the rack next to my gym bag
-if I don’t have my outfit planned, either have an idea of what I want to wear (skirt/dress or jeans) and a sense of what my day is like (meetings, classes, etc) so I know if it matters how I dress
Anonnona
15-20 minutes.
I shower the night before, only wash hair 1-2 times per week.
1. Wake up, use restroom, brush teeth, deodorant and moisturizer. (5 mins)
2. Start coffee (2 minutes max)
3. Get dressed (2-3 minutes)
4. Makeup (foundation, concealer, bronzer, blush, eye liner, mascara), and run straightener through hair or put hair up. (5-10 minutes)
5. Pour coffee into travel mug, grab bag(s) (already packed the night before), grab food out of fridge, head out the door. (2 mins)
If I have to pack my bags, another 5-10 minutes depending on what I can’t find that morning. I don’t have kids or pets. I don’t usually eat breakfast.
Small Firm IP Litigator
I take 45 minutes with a morning shower, 30 minutes without.
Time savers are packing my breakfast/lunch the night before and having an espresso machine in my office. I also cut off all my hair a few years back and have a very short pixie. I also have no kids or pets.
I could save more time, but I love makeup and do a full face every day, which takes about 20 min the way I do it.
Parfait
Am I the only one who needs at least 20 minutes of staring at my socks before I can even start?
Irish Midori
lol! No. I need a sec to pet the cat and adjust to the idea of being awake.
Anon
Reporting back on the Poppy Barley The Backpack (will link below):
I’m a small person looking for a laptop backpack / crossbody. I’m 5’2″ and 115 lbs which limits my choices significantly.
While I will be returning it, I think many of you will actually really love this backpack / crossbody / briefcase. The quality seems very good, the hardware is really nice and easy to use. For example the clasps that connect the backpack straps have a thumb hold, like a jewelry clasp (but obviously much larger) and are just so ergonomic and smooth. The top of the straps attach about an inch below the top of the backpack which lets shorter people wear it comfortably. Also, the straps shorten enough for me! The min is about 16-17″ and I comfortably had it at 19″. The ergonomics of the backpack straps are extremely good. Comfortable, very well padded, mesh on the inside, leather on the outside. The lining doesn’t show in the pocket they hide away into (an annoyance I had with another bag I was trying) so it’s uniform and sleek. My heavy 13″ dell fits with lots of room and doesn’t feel like much extra on your back. It opens wide enough to get things in and out comfortably and has two convenient outside pockets. The inside zippered pocket is too deep for my taste. I would prefer it was shallower so I could put easy-access-but-don’t-want-on-the-outside things like wallet in there. They really did think of everything though: this has a crossbody strap, top handles, and a luggage sleeve. That is just amazing. On my back, the back was very slim and only a little big crosswise and heightwise. Because of the strap position, it hits at a comfortable spot on my back. It didn’t look like it was eating me.
Now for the cons. I was told by customer service that the bag only weighs 2 lbs. That is definitely not true. Completely empty the bag weighs in at 3 lbs. With the cross strap (which is super heavy duty, padded, looks amazing) inside, it weighs just under 3.5. While not the heaviest, it’s just too much for me. The bag is also very structured. I’m sure the leather would soften over time but I wanted a hint of slouchiness. Additionally, I chose the nubuck pocket and it really attracts lint. I would recommend smooth leather unless you’re living a lint free life somehow. As a crossbody, this backpack is way too big for me even with the strap all the way tightened. I hangs right around my knee, which is just not comfortable.
If they made this bag with all the same quality and bells and whistles in a slightly smaller size (like 10 by 14 instead of 12 by 17) and maybe with some nylon inserts for weight control, I’d buy it immediately and pay more.
Anon
https://shop.poppybarley.com/collections/the-backpack
Irish Midori
Nah, don’t engage. That just feeds drama. Respond to admin “Wow, that’s odd she would think that since i don’t think we’ve interacted much. I think she’s a lovely person and hope she changes her mind.” It’ll get back to her.
Anonymous
I’ve done this type of thing before with good results. “Oh, I’m sad to hear that – I think she’s amazing! She’s so (pick one: smart, dedicated, knowledgeable, professional, etc.).” And leave it at that. People who talk negatively about their coworkers get known for doing it and that tends to follow them, long-term.
Anonymous
Has anyone relocated to NOVA/DC area to work from home? I may be accepting a position soon that is remote yet prefers easy access to DC. In the past, I worked from home for 3 years and want to make sure I’m in a place with easy access to cafes, libraries, maybe a coworking space so I can get out of the house to work somewhere else at least a few days a week to maintain sanity. Currently in the Boston area. Mid 30s, single, have a dog. Any recommendations for cities to look up online? I’m a bit overwhelmed at Craigslist housing options. DC/NOVA generally seems cheaper than Boston.
Anonymous
I live in Boston and lived in DC for a while. I’d suggest just take the job, then travel in a bunch for a couple months and get a sense for what you want and get ideas from coworkers. The Boston/DC shuttle is really easy; you could commute down and back same day for a while if you wanted.
rosie
Is where you live now not an option? I haven’t lived in Boston in years, but have been in DC about a decade and it’s fairly expensive. It’s great for work from home — coworking spaces (would your employer pay?), coffee shops, etc. You might consider looking at Philadelphia or Baltimore — both are easy access to DC (some people even commute from Baltimore, you can take commuter train rather than Amtrak). The people I know in those cities seem to enjoy it, and it just seems like your money will go so much further there.
DCR
Do you want to live in the DC area? I don’t know Boston prices, but decent places in DC/NOVA that are close to the metro are not cheap. Unless you actually need to be in the office often, I wouldn’t recommend this area if you can work anywhere. There are a lot of cities on the east coast where you could do an easy day trip to DC, but which have a lot lower costs on living.
If you really want to be in the DC area, what is your price range and other requirements? Arlington might be a good option for you, but then you are looking at spending over $2k for a one-bedroom for something close to the metro.
Boosting Iron?
I just had some lab work done and learned that my iron is super low. I’ll work with my physician to get my numbers up, but I was curious if anyone here has dealt with this and has any tips for swift and successful iron boosting? tia!
Housecounsel
I take prenatal vitamins although I haven’t been pregnant in 10 years. It’s the only way I have found to take iron that doesn’t upset my stomach. If I stop, I get anemic again.
Anonymous
WebMD has lists of vegetarian and non-vegetarian iron rich foods.
Anon
Beetroot juice is good for iron. It’s not a universally pleasing taste, but might be worth checking out. Beets themselves as well, of course.
Personally I crave black pudding, kale, spinach and broccoli when my iron is low.
Oh, and remember you need vitamin C with your iron rich meals for your body to actually absorb it! Oranges, lemons, kiwis etc are excellent for C.
Irish Midori
Yeah, I had dangerously low iron after my first kid was born. Steak florentine and black beans were on the menu pretty frequently. I had an amazing slow cooker flat iron roll up recipe something like this: https://www.keyingredient.com/recipes/1334030/flank-steak-roll-up-crock-pot/
The doc also said get plenty of sleep, which was hilarious, because at that moment they were handing me my newborn to take home… but it was probably a good thought.
T
Yep, I take a slow-release iron supplement with a sip of orange juice as soon as I wake up every day, and don’t eat/drink anything but water until 30 minutes later. It changed my energy levels within days of starting, I’m now within normal range per recent bloodwork.
TLR
Re the “no-peek” top in the post, anyone know some good options for busty women in standard sizes? Old Navy only seems to offer the hidden extra button feature in plus sizes. I know, find a good tailor!