ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 297 Comments

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Carey Top

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Boden is always a great bet if you’re looking for a fun print. This cheery red-and-white floral print would look gorgeous with an otherwise drab gray suit. I’d also wear it tucked in with an A-line or midi skirt. It’s made of a viscose and silk blend, but it’s machine washable. Based on my experience with Boden tops, I’d lay it flat to dry.  This top is $85 and available in sizes 2–18. It also comes in vibrant plum, ivory, navy, and a saffron print. Carey Top Two plus-size tops in red-and-white prints are from Vince Camuto and Karen Kane. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. 

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

297 Comments

  1. I am not a lawyer and am trying to figure out what legal help I need to hire. The estate law firm who wrote my mother’s trust are unable to help, seem to be downsizing. Mom passed away. I am handling the estate. I am selling her house in another state, that is in the trust, so I guess a bank account and EIN number need to be created to be able to have a place to put money from the sale. There are also mineral rights to a different piece of land (not where the house is), and the deed is in the trust. The estate lawyer tells me she doesn’t understand the legal description of the land, so I need to have an oil and gas lawyer look at it. The land company leasing the land reviewed the trust and says that I need another deed written to transfer the mineral rights royalties from the trust to me.
    I am so confused and probably most of what I wrote doesn’t make sense to the lawyers in this group. What questions should I be asking? Who should I hire? Estate lawyer? And a CPA? Oil and gas lawyer? In Houston, TX so there should be plenty to choose from.

    1. I’m an oil and gas lawyer and I’d have literally NO idea how to deal with this (any others of us here?). I would think you’d need to go to a real estate and or estate lawyer. Can you ask around? When my mom was dealing with a difficult trust issue (with a special need trust folded into it) for my grandmother, that’s how she ended up finding a good lawyer.

    2. I would think a good estate lawyer would be who you should start with and she should be able to recommend an oil/gas lawyer if you need one and be your liaison for that other lawyer.

    3. Real estate lawyer should be able to help with transferring the one property to you. You can apply for an EIN number for the trust online on the IRS website, then take the EIN number, a copy of the trust, and your mother’s death certificate to a bank to open a bank account for the trust if there isn’t one already. Do that long before the scheduled closing date on the house

    4. Both of those are issues that a good estate attorney could manage. I would start by getting a new estate attorney doesn’t seem to be knowledgeable and isn’t being proactive.

    5. If the minerals are truly a mess, you may need a landman (vs. and oil & gas lawyer). But the real estate lawyer should be able to identify someone if that becomes necessary.

    6. i’m in Houston too and while i do not know the answer to any of your questions, we’ve used Weycer, Kaplan, Pulaski & Zuber, P.C. for our will and they have been good so far and came highly recommended

    7. Call Jennifer Elskes, who’s board-certified in estate planning. She’s at stephensonlaw.com. I know her well and she handled my estate plan.

    8. I’m an estate planning and probate attorney in Austin. All of what you wrote actually does make sense! Good job! You need a probate attorney. You *might* not need to “probate the will” but you do need to “administer the estate.” The later just means, essentially, sell and transfer the assets appropriately, and file whatever tax returns are required. Depending on one’s familiarity with estates and trusts, you might not strictly need an attorney, but one is certainly very helpufl. The former absolutely requires an attorney in Texas, but it is not a huge deal–just part of the process.

      Send me an email at emlyreynolds at g mail (not my real name, just a doppelganger email I use for random things) and I’d be happy to chat further and get you a recommendation or two.

      An easy recommendation, though, if the estate is at least $1m total, is Chasity Cooper at Crain Caton & James. If you are in Austin, I’d be happy to help and can handle tiny estates and very large ones (I’m on my own now but have worked at a variety of boutique, medium, and large firms).

    9. I feel like the person who can help the most is a CPA specializing in estates. We went through a lot of what you’re in the middle of and the CPA helped the most. I unfortunately found the attorney who had set up the trust absolutely useless when it came to actually using the trust for its intended purpose.

      1. You needed a different attorney. A good CPA is absolutely worth their weight in gold, but should not be giving legal advice (administration of trusts, probate issues, etc.).

    10. Oil and gas M&A non-lawyer. If the issue is with the description of the land, you will need to have a landman involved (they own the description of the property in my deals) but an oil and gas attorney should be able to involve a good one. Land descriptions for oil and gas can be unique as they often cover rural tracts (likely using parcel numbers / sections) and work in 3D space. Depending on where you are depths are sometimes not just a measurement but rather a description of an applicable formation and I’ve seen some really odd stuff in some older legacy agreements.

      Mineral rights must always be conveyed in addition to whatever purchase agreement is signed on the corporate side – I have no experience with personally owning smaller parcels of minerals but in addition to a PSA in oil and gas there is also a conveyance – you will likely need something similar which a lawyer familiar with oil and gas can draft for you.

      One more item – whoever the minerals are leased to likely has a royalty owners hotline / land dept that you can call (maybe you already have) they will be good stewards as long as you are a bit wary given their vested interest in maintaining leases at current terms.

    11. You’ve gotten some great recommendations, and I’m going to throw a third candidate into the ring: Roxanne Ghobrial is a Houston-based estate lawyer who I have used in the past. Her website pops up if you google her name and Houston lawyer. Good luck.

  2. Would love comments on this job offer! New position, established company. Generous relocation package. The salary & bonus structure is actually quite fair but the PTO allotment is weirdly stingy. I’ve already been told that is not negotiable as my boss (also new) tried to counter on that himself.

    Since it’s a substantial relo, part of what eased the sting was the idea that there would be ample chances to go home to visit. If that’s not the case due to lack of PTO, then I would like to add $5k to salary to allow for having people (my young adult kids) come visit me.

    Also if I give notice in order to meet their requested start date I will forfeit my first half of 2019 bonus from current employer and also 6 days of PTO I have already scheduled so I would like to ask for a signing bonus to compensate for that.

    Thoughts?

    1. I’m not hearing any reason to take the job in your post, why relocate for something that doesn’t match the QOL you have now? Sounds like you’re currently employed too, so I’d be pickier.

      1. +1, why are you looking for a new job? Do you want to move to the new city?
        If the positives of this job outweigh the negatives (honestly, stingy PTO would be a red flag for me, how will they act regarding working from home, ducking out for appointments, otherwise behaving like a normal human with reasonable personal needs)… I think what you are looking to negotiate is more than fair. I would also ask them to allow you to take your planned PTO (unpaid if you have to, I guess).

    2. The pros are it’s a substantial promotion (director level), interesting work and about a 30% salary increase even discounting any bonuses. Also given my industry it is an opportunity not likely to come around again.
      New city is meh, not terribly appealing but we can make a good life for ourselves. Just might have to dig a bit to find the interesting stuff, which I had to do where we live now.

    3. I’m guessing you know your reasons for taking this job. Is there an option to telecommute? My husband and I had stingy PTO packages our first few years, but what made it not a big deal was a generous attitude twds teleworking and the ability to get comp hours.
      5k to a company is likely nbd unless you area already at their max (which you’d have no way of knowing). I’d at least ask for that. As for the bonus, there’s no way they could be slightly more flexible in terms of your start date? They are asking you to move across the country. It would be reasonable in my experience to ask for an extra month to prepare.

    4. Assuming you are still at the salary negotiation stage, asking for $5k more seems reasonable. I would probably start by asking to delay the start date, because of your pre-planned vacation and bonus. If they won’t agree to that, then ask for the signing bonus to compensate for that.

    5. It’s totally normal to negotiate for a sign in bonus to replace left-behind earned but not paid out incentive pay. You don’t always get 100% of it. I would ask for that and the additional pay to make up for the PTO. It’s very hard to complain about PTO when you’re starting a new position because it’s all about not working when you’re trying to show how very much you want to work there. I’d just ask for the small difference in salary. But I’d really focus on the signing bonus.

    6. Even if you get the money I’dreally think about how much your kids can and will want to visit and whether you’ll be seeing them enough. My parents certainly visit me more than I visit them. Depending on your kids life stage and as they get older, it may be really hard to come for more than a long weekend or two a year.

      1. I think this is a really good point. What season of life are your kids in? College and unmarried? Young parents? DH and I are in our mid-30’s with one child. My parents recently retired and moved far away. I’m pretty resentful about it, TBH. I know others in my boat who feel the same way.

        1. In a similar position and similarly resentful. Last year my parents moved from 45 minutes away from us to 8 hours driving/1.5 hour plane ride away. It doesn’t seem like that big of a distance but we’ve seen them twice since they moved. They never come to our city and expect us to travel to them every time we have days off. But between work, social obligations and the fact that we don’t want to spend all our time off traveling to their (not very great) city – it doesn’t happen.

  3. Can anyone recommend a recruiter in Singapore/HK/South Korea region? Biglaw attorney looking to lateral to Biglaw or (preferably) in-house. If anyone has experience in these markets, any pointers on differences to keep in mind also appreciated! Thanks in advance!

    1. Andrew Ng of Parker and Lynch. He specializes in Asia legal markets. He was based in Beijing for a long time and very knowledgeable about the Asia market, especially HK. I’ve spoken with him about several overseas opportunities that are very interesting, though relocating is ultimately not in my plans.

  4. I always think Boden stuff is so cute and stylish and right up my alley, but it’s soooo expensive in Canadian dollars (like $70 for a basic t-shirt!) and shipping is $22. Ugh. Are there any pieces that you would say are 100% worth the price that you wear a lot?

    1. My closet is filled with Boden dresses for my business casual office. The styling, cuts and price point make it my go-to brand. BUT I always wait for a sale. I’m not sure I’d love it as much if I paid full price plus $22 for shipping.

    2. My Boden cashmere cropped cardigans. I have 6. IMO the quality is awesome and they’ve held up really well for what I paid– usually between $90-110 on sale. They’re basics and my office is kept at 47 degrees so I wear them all the time. And the cropped style means they actually fit my tiny torso and don’t look dowdy.

    3. The dresses are perfect for my business casual office. Excellent quality, styling is on point. I wait until they’re on sale.

    4. I dress preppier than most but Vineyard Vines is fast becoming my go-to casual clothes supplier, their clothes last me years. I steer clear of their wilder designs, but have gotten some pretty solid basics like shells, cotton popovers, sweaters.

      For work clothes, Brooks Brothers and J McLaughlin and Boston designer Sara Campbell, usually purchased on sale. Probably ~80% of my work outfits are dresses, and I prefer colored ones so those are my good choices. I will spend up to ~$200 on a work dress, I’m on a ~2 week rotation, and expect my dresses to last ~5 years and these companies have proven their worth over and over again (and I tend to get the most compliments on those dresses too).

    5. Do you have Nordstrom in Canada? They have started selling Boden here in the US and they might be better at least on the shipping element.

    6. I have several of this Carey top and the Ravello top that are my go-tos for work tops, so they’re worth it for me (I own like 5 of them). Their work-appropriate dresses just don’t fit me right, so I’ve given up on them (either the waist is too high or they don’t work in the skirt for my pear shape). I love their casual dresses, but they are expensive for a casual dress. Worth it to own one or two though.

      1. Also in Canada, so I bought a Ravello on Ebay to test the waters and ended up buying a few more new on a trip to the UK. They are great and I would buy more if I could (but also don’t want to pay that much for shipping + custom duties).

        1. Are you ordering off the Uk site? Every time I’ve ordered shipping is free if order is over 165 and no additional duties.

    7. When/how often does Boden typically have sales? I’ve got my eye on the Jessica ponte dress in green but would love to get it for less than full price.

      1. Get on their catalog list. They send those frequently and usually have a 10 or 15% off code with them.

    8. I literally have the Honor Dress in four colors; I’m obsessed with it. Also have the Elsa Ottoman Dress in several colors. They almost always have 20% of coupon codes, and free shipping over $49. I think the quality is great, they are all lined. (Even the exposed zipper has a lining behind it so the cold zipper doesn’t touch your skin.) And they’re machine washable. I’m steadily moving closer to my entire work wardrobe being made up solely of Boden’s dresses.

      1. Zulily currently has Boden at a major discount. I also get 20% off coupon codes pretty often. The dresses are workhorses for me.

    9. Try Poshmark for Boden purchases. You’d be surprised how much is out there at a substantial discount. The downside is that you can’t return it if doesn’t fit, so if you’re not sure go a little larger because you can tailor if it doesn’t fit. If you need a referral code to get you a $10 discount (if you’ve never used Poshmark), use mine (merrpg) full disclosure I’ll get $10 off too.

    10. Do you have Thread Up or Poshmark in Canada, I would try to get one second hand to see if you like the fit.

      I am 5’6 size 14 with a large bust and long torso and find I need a tall size

    11. I just ordered like $500 from them, with the knowledge that I’d return a bunch. I ended up keeping 3 pieces (two need tailoring, but i’m ok with that at this price point) and will order again….

    12. Also in Canada, I have managed to score some great deals on Boden from ebay. The Auriela dress is one of my absolute favourites. One of the benefits of Boden is that the dresses in ottoman fabric wear incredibly well, so I don’t mind buying them used.

  5. Anyone have suggestions on getting rid of used clothes in the least environmentally destructive way possible? I would love to donate it somewhere, but if it’s just going to be thrown out I wonder if it’s better to find a place that recycles fabric? Do consignment places like thredup actually sell what they receive? I don’t care about the $$, just would love to delay/ avoid the point at which they end up in the landfill. I realize the best solution is to buy and get rid of fewer things, which I’m working on as well. Thanks!

    1. I post my stuff on Facebook Free for my city, and give my old stuff to people who want it for themselves. I divide it into “lots” (ex., lot of 6 blazers from JCrew/ Banana, size M) and usually get instant takers. People text later that they like the stuff, I don’t have to go anywhere, and it’s not immediately going into landfill

    2. H and M takes clothes back, even not their own clothes. Not sure on their record though with how they process it.

      Dress for Success is a good bet for any career wear and a local women’s shelter for any items in good/excellent condition.

    3. You could check if there are any local churches that can use the fabric. Some churches use textiles to make quilts and blankets for those who need them. Admittedly, I think they’re mostly looking for old sheets and blankets, but it could be worth looking into.

    4. Are the items still in good or decent condition? If so and it’s just no longer my style or doesn’t fit, I donate them to a women’s shelter or something like Dress for Success.

      1. I give all my stuff to Goodwill, much of it barley used, and they always are happy to see me, b/c I think they keep and use what they want for themselves, and then sell the rest. Those people in the storefront do not make a lot of money, so it is gratifying to me and my Dad to know that my clothes get reused by them and others. That is what Dad calls paying it forward. Giving so that others can benefit. YAY!!!

      1. Same, my local Buy Nothing group has clothing all the time, and usually multiple folks are interested when I offer something.

    6. When I researched this last, I found out that Goodwill does recycle clothing that doesn’t meet their standards for sale.

    7. This topic comes up a lot here, so I want to post this link with some info about textile recycling. Only about 20 percent of what is donated to thrift stores gets sold in the store. Lots is shipped overseas as second-hand clothes (this has it’s good and bad results, I know) but another large amount gets recycled — not into other clothes but things like insulation, cleaning materials, etc. https://www.thebalancesmb.com/textile-recycling-facts-and-figures-2878122

      Fabric is one of the most recyclable/reusable materials in our lives. I know folks on this board want to be considerate but you are not insulting the people at Goodwill by donating an unfashionable skirt or even a stained sweatshirt. That sweatshirt gets sorted into the recycling pile and Goodwill gets money to finance its mission by selling the pile to textile recyclers. The only items of apparel I don’t donate are, like, a holey sock or a stretched out pair of underpants.

      I love the idea of cutting out the middle man and using Facebook Free or Freecycle, but that hasn’t worked so well for me. I just want to point out that putting clothes in the trash means it will definitely go to a landfill, but donating to a big place like Goodwill means it will be assessed for re-use and maybe diverted from a landfill.

      1. Thank you so much for providing this information. I didn’t know this, and it makes me feel good about my Goodwill donations (and likely to be more free with what I donate!)

      2. Check with your city “trash collector” on environmental department. San Francisco has curbside textile recycling — you just need to let Recology know you have a pick up. It is true that charities like Goodwill and Salvation Army get your unsaleable items to textile recyclers. It’s not completely true that fabric is one of the most recyclable and reusable items in the waste stream. Of course garments that someone still wants to wear are “reused.” But very little is used again for remaking garments and there’s only so much that’s needed or usable for insulation, stuffing, and similar uses. Textiles for garments are not currently designed for reuse.

    8. Get some friends and neighbours together, make some cocktails and have a swap!

    9. If you want to clean things and drop them off at a women’s shelter (ask first) they can tell you what they can take and who else might be interested.

      In the summer the downtown shelter close to where I work is always looking for mens t-shirts, womens shells, tanks and t-shirts and towels. That makes it easy for me to clear that kind of stuff out. They do a swap where a client gives them a dirty shirt and they give the client a clean one.

  6. What is your favorite Medium-ish skin color SPF sunscreen? I’ve tried the Australian Gold tinted but it’s still a touch light. Looking to combine as many skin products as I can!

    2. I can’t speak to the shade, but Dr Jart premium Bb cream is popular around here and I love mine. It combines skin care, coverage, and a really nice mineral sunscreen. You’d have to try it on to see if one of their shades works for you.

      1. I use this too based on this group’s recc… my skin is very meditarian and it works well, if a little on the light side.

    3. I use Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, which has SPF 20. The oil-free version gives a bit more coverage than the regular. The shades seem to work well for many WOC (including me).

  7. I’m crushing on utility jackets! Have they been in vogue for a while, or is it a new fad? They are suddenly catching my eye everywhere, and I want one as a layering alternative to my denim jacket. One problem I have when I become interested in a new style is that I realize I’ve failed to notice details. I saw a friend in a utility jacket that seemed perfect, but not cannot remember exactly what was so great about it. (She happens to be the one person I know who wears Gucci and the like in real life, so her particular jacket is almost certainly out of reach.)

    Can you help me by advising about utility jacket(s) you’ve bought and like/dislike? I can see that there’s a wide range. Some are move like shirts, so more like jackets. Some have sleeves that seem to be made to roll up, others not. Lots of patch pockets, not so many pockets. Some are more like a rain coat, others really are canvas. I definitely love the olive look (no camo for me!). Cinchable waist, distressing, lots of options! If you have tips, let me know.

    1. My J Crew downtown field jacket is one of my most-worn pieces of clothing. I have it in olive and it goes with everything.

    2. I have the olive-colored one from Old Navy. I wear it a ton. It has also held up really well. I’ve been considering another color for a while.

      1. I have an olive Old Navy one from ~2013 and it’s still in great shape.

        I bought a pink one from Gap earlier this summer, just to change things up, but it’s been too hot to wear it.

    3. I have an olive one from Loft and I love it. Very soft and perfect for cooler summer evenings or places with AC.

    4. I don’t currently own a utility jacket but I want one….badly. I just returned a round of boxy, flimsy fabric jackets from the gap and old navy.
      I personally do not want boxy or overly stiff fabric. Not too much military flare and no special decorations. No blazer lapel styling for the collar. I don’t know that I have a set number of pockets that’s ideal.
      The following jackets have caught my eye:
      Madewell field Jacket
      Land’s End Women’s Chino Herringbone Shirt Jacket
      J Crew downtown Field Jacket
      (I did not purchase this jacket, but it looks more structured than the tencel jacket I returned) Gap Garment-Dyed Utility Jacket
      Kohl’s Women’s SONOMA Goods for Life™ Utility Jacket

    7. I have one from Forever 21 that has a waist drawstring, olive, unlined, but looks like a jacket and not a shirt – I wear it almost always in the summer when I want an extra layer.

    8. I have the J Crew one and love it, but it’s a fall/winter jacket for me. I needed one for the summer because I’m always cold and I have an older olive cotton one from Old Navy and a new dark gray linen one from Old Navy this summer. I’m wearing the latter one more than I expected – it goes with everything and is not too heavy but keeps me from freezing. It’s got the drawstrings and pockets and I’m really glad I have it. Some reviews complain about the wrinkles, but I haven’t found it wrinkles very badly and/or they don’t show on the dark fabric. I’m sure it’s not as nice as some of the options listed, but it’s a great low-cost alternative for people who run cold…

    9. The madewell and caslon versions are nice, I hgave an ivory one from old navy in linen that is great. I also have a longer unlined one from forever 21 and its an mvp

  8. Yesterday I got a call from an alleged NYPD Precinct 13 detective about my SSN being stolen. I normally don’t even pick up these type of calls but only picked up this one because the calls kept coming from the same number consecutively and when I looked up the number, it was the same as the NYPD Precinct 13 number. Also, the caller appeared to know my first and last name, as well as my previous address, as well as all of the states that I had lived in, and all the banks that I have either debit or credit card accounts with. The caller then asked me if I lived in a particular address in Texas and if I did anything at all that might have led to my number being stolen. Long story short, once he started asking questions like my date of birth and etc, I hung up. I then called the NYPD, which confirmed that it was a fake call. However, now I am a little worried. How did they get all of my previous addresses and how do they know where I bank at? Furthermore, I let it slip by accident that I recently opened accounts at Ally and HSBC, so my SSN number could have been stolen in that process, and that I’m an attorney. Now I am worried that they will try to target me again having found out these new information about me. What can I do to protect myself?

      1. And then I would place an inbound call to the precinct office to see if this is even a thing.

    2. This happened to me a few months ago, but I figured out they were fake because they used my maiden name. I’m not sure what they’re looking for, but nothing happened to my credit or accounts. I’d keep a diligent eye on everything for a little bit, change your pw if you’re concerned but I think you’re okay. Per the advice of my police department, never answer any unknown phone calls – if it’s important they’ll leave a message and you can call them back. Also, if it’s a real call they’ll never ask you for information over the phone, only for you to come in. I was freaking out at the time, sorry this happened to you!

      1. Yeah, is anyone out there actually picking up calls from unknown numbers these days? I never do that.

        1. I used to, I was worried something happened to my husband. It’s freaky that the scammers can make it seem like they’re calling from the police department. I actually got a call from my “city police department” one day, realized they were full of it and told them they were fraud. Then the next day the “state department” called me and referenced my rude demeanor the day before which made my heart stop.

          1. Yeah, if you ask to call a police department or bank back, then they are generally trained to say, ‘Absolutely. I understand your concern. Call the main number and just ask to speak to Detective X in Department.’

            Also, as somebody who has worked in many roles where ‘speaking to angry people’ was part of my job (including lots of government jobs!), if I spent time calling people back about being rude, I would literally never do anything else.

        2. Those of us with unwell family members do. I get a call from a different number every time my dad falls in his care facility. They have a BYOD policy, so staff use their own cells.

      2. Love the advice to always go to the police station to speak in person. That 100% guarantees scam or no scam.

        1. …except that our local sheriff’s department will not interview witnesses at the station! They will, however, come to your home.

          1. Right – but the point is to see if it is a scammer or not. If it is a scammer, they will not usually be local, so if you offer to meet them at the police station or otherwise meet in person instead of talk on the phone, then they’ll probably end the call or engage in unreasonable pressure/insistency that info must be exchanged over the phone which is a huge red flag.

    3. Former address are super easy to find. Lots of online sites will yet you look that up for like $3 a person or $20/month unlimited. I have a policy that I never provide any information when I receive a call. I’ll take down the information if it seems legitimate, and then independently look up the phone number and call the company to verify.

      1. In the future: Never give your information out when your called. Take down their info to call back. Then independently search for the company phone number and call back to clarify. If concerns are real, then show up in person to provide info and fix problem.

        For now: change all passwords and pins, close all accounts or credit cards you don’t need, freeze everything else. Use cash. I would personally also disable all social media accounts.

    4. Man, I just had the most frustrating conversation with my bank yesterday. It’s a local credit union that holds my new car loan. They called me to verify a bunch of information. I thought it was a scam. The rep then tried to give me her personal line to call her back. I explained that I couldn’t just call the number she gave me to prove it wasn’t a scam. I asked her to tell me what kind of car I bought to verify that she was from the bank. She said she couldn’t until I verified who I was w/ DOB and address. I had to call the bank’s main line. Long story short, it wasn’t a scam. Banks should be discouraging people from giving out info to people to call not the other way around.

    5. So to clarify. The number where the call was coming from is actually the exact same one as the NYPD Precinct 13’s detective’s number. That’s what was so weird about this call. In fact, when I questioned their legitimacy, they directed me to Google NYPD Precinct 13’s number. And NYPD Precinct 13 only covers a select few neighborhoods in Manhattan, one of which I lived in until recently. It seemed that they were able to mask their real phone number with the NYPD’s number, on top of having all of my previous addresses.

      2. That’s not that uncommon. It’s pretty easy to spoof numbers these days. I actually had it happen to me (someone spoofed my number and was using it to spam call people, who were then calling “me” back, usually very angry and there’s no recourse but to change your number).

      5. Yes that is why people are telling you to read up on this- this is the number one most common scam. That’s why you don’t pick up. You independently call the main number

    6. You can sign up for free credit monitoring at creditkarma.com. A lot of that info is publicly available, and what they were asking you sounds like the questions various institutions use to verify identity for credit purposes (which of these streets did you not live on, etc).

  10. Here’s your second-debate white-men cheat sheet:
    * De Blasio is the one who looks like the mean ex-army sports coach from a teen movie who wants everyone in Congress to do pushups until we have healthcare
    * Inslee is the one who looks like Grandpa Clark Kent, but with a serial-killer smile
    * We know who Biden is but we’re all still surprised at how old he is, wow
    * Bennet is the one who looks like his face was shrunk to 70% of its proper size and then photoshopped back onto the front of his head

      1. It’s an entertaining way to distract us from the anxious question of how many more Democrats will want to use this chaos to run and when we finally can pick a candidate to get rally around.

        1. I think we “finally pick a candidate” in the primaries next year. Would you prefer a back-room deal in which you, a concerned voter, get no say?

          1. I understand the system, and it has it’s pros and cons, just like other countries’ do. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a general worry about the outcome and some comic relief is fine for me, maybe not for you.

          2. Honestly, yes. Because primaries are how we ended up with Donald Trump. If the Republican party had been picking a candidate, it would not have been him. Primaries tend to result in more extreme candidates. I would probably prefer back-room deals to pick candidates. Plus maybe then we’d end up with more than two viable parties (also not a huge fan of the two party system.)

          3. +1 to Anonymous at 12:33 PM. Primaries evolved because back-room dealing wasn’t working anymore. Primaries aren’t working anymore. Time for something new.

        2. It’s also a fun way to mock and demonize reasonably competent politicians because of their looks rather than their ideas so that the racist maniac in the White House looks okay by comparison.

          3. If you reject the notion that physical appearance can be used to stereotype people (looks like a serial killer, looks like a scientist, looks like a gay person), then it’s easier to see the humor in the remark.

          4. If you reject that notion the whole joke falls apart and she’s just associating the governor of Washington with a murderer for no reason at all.

            Making decent people out to be monsters without any evidence whatsoever in the hopes that it will turn people against them is what trump does. We can make jokes without demonizing decent people. The guy’s shtick is trying to reverse climate change. It’s worth talking about without pretending he’s a murderer.

      3. A couple people thought it was funny yesterday, and it seems basically harmless to me, since no one here is actually going to vote for a nominee based on whether they look goofy. As for why I didn’t include candidates of color … the whole point of the joke is that there are a lot of white men of roughly the same age running, and it is hard to keep them all straight. Saying “Yang is the Asian guy” isn’t funny.

        I’m happy to admit that this is a throw-away joke and certainly less funny the second night, since there are fewer dudes to keep straight (and more recognizable ones, I think) but I also have to say we’ve all given it more attention than it really deserves by now.

        1. This was taken far more seriously than the tongue in cheek commentary it was intended to be (which, as you pointed out, was apparently fine yesterday).

    2. Why not try this with the candidates of color and see how far you get. Making fun of whatever you consider the foibles of whiteness makes me wonder why I, a white person, can’t return the favor to other races. Let’s just stop this now.

      2. You should know better. The whole point of this is that even in the debate of the supposedly progressive party, the lineup is so un-diverse that you can easily recognize the female candidates and the candidates of color. The majority are white men, which represent the most powerful part of society. Making fun of the powerful doesn’t have an equally oppressing effect as making fun of the marginalized.

      3. You can’t “return the favor” to people of other faces because as a white person you are on top of the power hierarchy. And the white men in question in the OP are at the very tippy top of the power hierarchy. It’s okay to punch up but not okay to punch down.

        Seriously? Are we still having to explain this on a daily basis?

    3. I appreciate this (I believe you’re providing the gift of humor here)! I’ve not been able to watch more than 20 minutes of the debates as it causes anxiety. Perhaps that silly, but listening to people try to talk over the moderator, over each other, and finally beyond their allotted time is maddening. Also I don’t rightly know how we down select and get to a more manageable pool of candidates to choose a nominee from. I had hoped that some people drop out on their own accord by now. I guess it’s early in the process still and there’s time for all this to play out.

      1. I definitely hear you on the stress, although paradoxically I find it more maddening when the candidates get cut off than when they go over their time. A minute is not really long enough for substantive discussion. Also, insofar as primary debates are an audition for general debates, I do want to know who can hold their own in an interrupting match. But I come from an interrupting family so that doesn’t stress me out in itself.

        I suspect that if people don’t drop out before the third debate, the ones who don’t qualify will fade out and drop out not too long after.

    4. I think there’s a lot to critique the various candidates for but their physical appearance should not be part of that. It IS mean. Is there meaner stuff out there on the internet? Of course, but so what? We should be better than that.

    5. All of them besides Biden, Hickenloper, Delaney, Bullock, and Ryan are crazy. But I’m sure the nomination will go to one of the progressives who want open borders and giving everything to everyone for free by YES raising taxes on people making 200k (doesn’t matter if they say it’s only on millionaires now – the thresholds will get lower as they need to finance every college class for every kid in America including illegals). If a progressive gets nominated, get used to 4 more years – and lots more crying about cages and whatnot.

      1. I would be wiling to at least consider your point of view if you hadn’t revealed a 1000 times that you only care about yourself and are going to vote for Trump no matter what cause of the stock market. But since you are a republican, I don’t really care about your view on the democratic primary.

        1. Not a republican actually. Voted HRC last time and voted for Obama once. The progressives are what’s going to push me towards Trump. Sorry I’d like to not have to finance everyone else’s college, student loans, minimum universal income and whatever else is being promised.

          1. You’re delusional if you think that the simple fact that a “progressive” gets nominated means you’re gonna have to pay for everyone’ else’s college, student loans, minimum universal income and whatever else is being promised. Come on, we had Obama for 8 years and all we got was jacked up Romney Care. And yet some how you think a progressive is gonna what, magically be able to implement all of these incredibly controversial proposals? (The way you lay them out is a straw man, but I digress.) Care to share your reasoning with the class?

          2. …. if you don’t want to help finance college, healthcare, etc, then what DO you want? What is the point of your existence? Why are you so cheap? Why are you so selfish?

          3. KTA, I love you. Going to start walking around, asking everyone why they are so selfish.

        4. To be fair, I don’t think she’s the sole person out there (or even on this board) with that view.

      2. Honestly, you all in the US need to get over your fear of paying more taxes. The happiest countries in the world just so happen to be the ones that also pay the most in tax in the world. I live in Canada – we are not the happiest and not the highest taxed. But honestly, I am so happy to be taxed more highly here than you are in the States, because it DOES save me money and stress and aggravation in the long run. Not only do I have ZERO paperwork to fill out after I leave a hospital, I also don’t have to worry about getting/staying in a job for the health insurance, nor do I have to fear going bankrupt in the unfortunate event that I become gravely ill or need emergency care.

        1. I think the difficult pill to swallow- as a card holding liberal who makes a hhi of $300k in a hcola area- is that it seems like we keep getting squeezed, while the poor still gets screwed over, and the rich are rich enough to figure out how to get out of everything (like in many of Warren’s plans- esp her one for universal daycare). I am willing to pay lots of taxes, but would like good healthcare and reasonably priced education for all ages for it- It is demoralizing at times.

        2. I just do not understand why so many Americans (am one) are so willing to bend over and take it as long as it’s a corporation doing the reaming. All this fear mongering about the government “rationing care”? What do you think your insurance company is doing right now!? What do ya think utilization review is?! Your taxes will go up so high? How much are you paying right now for your insurance/health care!? I just found out I need a med that my insurance doesn’t cover and it’s several hundred dollars/month. Most people can’t afford that. Boom, there’s your care being “rationed.” The point is that you’re gonna pay either way. I’d rather have my taxes raised by X and not worry about amassing vast sums of money to pay for health care (now and when I’m old, and for my parents….) than pay X to some health insurance company and have that hanging over my head. Blah.

        3. Also Canadian. It’s actually a myth that the tax rates are so much lower in US compared to other western democracies with healthcare. US just spends a lot on military stuff and the tax rate for wealthy people is less.

      3. Real rich people can give money to help those who are less fortunate than them. :-)
        I am fine with my taxes being raised (and I am sure they will). I disagree with free college, because I think it will just incentivize higher tuition from colleges. We should get rid of non-profit status for colleges with endowments above a certain threshold, and we should require colleges to cosign student loans above a certain threshold. I also disagree with open borders and think it is a loser of an issue that Democrats should get away from.

        But I care about climate change and I care about healthcare. So it is a difficult decision.

    6. I enjoyed this yesterday and I am enjoying it today. Ignore the people who take everything way too seriously
      I really could not keep all the white men apart so this hilarious take on the diverse pool of white men is very helpful!

  11. Any advice/a script from the Hive on how to let a new guy down honestly but kindly? I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks and increasingly feel like our personalities are not a good match. Initially, I did like him in person and we have a seemingly endless list of interests in common. But over text, I find him to be too judgmental and self-centered to be what I’d need in a partner. I also need someone who is very verbally effusive and expressive (need words of affirmation), and he is not this way. I gave it another chance last night (because he did mention that he is a bad texter and I thought maybe there’s some truth to that) and during the date he interrupted me multiple times until I called him out for it, barely asked me any questions and overall made me feel afraid to open up and let him get to know me for fear of being judged. I also stopped feeling physically attracted to him. This apparently went completely unnoticed by him, as he texted me right after the date with an idea for the next date. I responded that I think he’s great and we have so many interests in common, but I don’t feel that our personalities are compatible. I had hoped that would be enough, be he responded asking me to explain a bit more why they are not a good fit. I am sure that he is a great guy, just not my guy. Any ideas on how I can explain in a way that he will get the picture without simply listing a list of attributes of his that I don’t like?

    1. I don’t think you owe him an explanation beyond the one you’ve given. Sounds like the dude is looking for an argument and thinks he can talk you into feeling differently, honestly.

      1. This. You’ve said what you needed to say and it’s perfectly okay to disengage now.

    2. A few weeks is not very long. I think you have already let him down honestly but kindly by telling him that your personalities aren’t compatible. I would not feel obligated to respond further. If he keeps pushing, I would block him.

    3. Girl, what? You don’t owe him an explanation or defense. Just tell him it’s not working and best of luck, the end, goodbye.

    4. Woof. You’ve done all you need to do. He’s being pushy and overbearing, which just demonstrates again why you’re not interested. He hasn’t made you feel comfortable speaking thus far, so why would you be comfortable detailing your reasons for breaking it off? (I am not actually sure he’s a great guy, by the way!) I would not say anything further and block his number.

    5. You don’t owe him anything more, just say you’re not interested in him and wish him the best. There’s nothing to gain from engaging further and you were just dating for a few weeks, so there’s nothing to unpack for him, just not a match.

    6. Oh my Lord. He is not entitled to an explanation from you. I am serious, the older I get the more enraging this stuff is. Having said all that, I’d probably just send him what you said “I’m sure you’re a great guy, you’re just not my guy.” If he pushes for more than that I’d block him immediately. Sounds to me like your assessment was correct. Shocking, I know (not).

      Hang in there.

    7. OMG the older I get the more this stuff enrages me. You do not owe him an explanation or indeed any further response. If you wanted to be nicer than I think he deserves I’d just send him what you said here “I’m sure you’re a great guy, you’re just not my guy.” If he pushes for more than that just block him immediately and do not respond.

      Seems your assessment was correct – shocking, I know (not!).

      Hang in there. Sorry you are dealing with this.

    9. He’s not a great guy. Great guys understand that no means no. This guy wants to argue with you about your no and try to badger you into making that no a yes. Your entire description makes my spidey senses tingle. This is not someone I would ever want to be alone with. Block, delete, move on with your life.

    10. You don’t have to, but I think it’s nice to do more than ghost someone (isn’t that how we’d want people to treat us?). I’d text him something like, “I’ve had a lot of fun with you the last few weeks, but I don’t see a long term future with you, so would like to stop seeing you now before we get more involved.” or alternatively “It’s been great hanging out with you, but I think it’s best if we see other people” or “It’s been great getting to know you, but I’m not interested in pursuing it further.” Then ignore any other texts or calls from him.

      1. Didn’t read your post all the way through- dur- I think you gave him enough info, just ignore.

    11. Just ignore it. He isn’t entitled to an reason and you have already given him one anyways.

      By the way, nothing about this guy makes him sound like a great guy! Having interest in common doesn’t make a guy good. He is judgmental and self-centered, interrupted you, didn’t really seem to be trying to get to know you, and is now ignoring your wishes and demanding your time. Why in the world do you think this is a good guy?

    12. I’d be tempted to text back something like “The fact that you feel entitled to an explanation, is the explanation.” But probably better to just stay silent.

    13. “Hard to say, but it was fun! Have a great life!!!” And then enjoy the rest of your day and meet new guys.

      How someone takes a breakup speaks volumes about their emotional maturity, so be glad you’re seeing this unpleasant side of him now rather than later.

    14. Don’t give him an explanation other than you’re not interested. Giving him more than that just gives him room to argue and he’s not entitled to it anyway.

  12. Does anyone have any recommendations for nonfiction books, podcasts, or articles about the psychology of how we assess risk? This is something I’ve been thinking about lately because my parents were super paranoid about some things that weren’t very risky (like letting me fly alone or cross a quiet street alone) and then super laissez-faire about activities that were legitimately dangerous (like skiing in avalanche country with no precautions – I cringe looking back at that now). I’ve also noticed that a lot of my acquaintances seem really anxious about things like child abduction, but are chill about driving their kids around in traffic all day. I find the way we inaccurately assess and respond to risk really interesting and was hoping someone could recommend some articles or something so I could dive into this a bit more. I’m also hoping to gain some practical tools so I can recognize my own cognitive distortions about risk and make better choices in my own life (since I can be prone to anxiety about certain things).

    Also, I really feel much more alive and engaged when I’ve participate in risky hobbies (with proper preparation and skill). There’s really something special going on in the brain when it comes to risk and I’m finding it increasingly fascinating. Any recs would be welcome!

    2. Did you see anything on the 2016 study about how we overestimate risks to children when we think their parents are doing something immoral? Basically people assess children in the same situation to be in more danger if their parents put them there for a bad reason (like meeting a lover) than if they put them there for a good reason (like going to work). https://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/08/22/490847797/why-do-we-judge-parents-for-putting-kids-at-perceived-but-unreal-risk

    3. I don’t know if you have kids or if this is the kind of thing you are looking for- but emily oster wrote 2 data based books about birthing & mothering that take on a lot of the things we have been told do regarding those topics and dives into the studies that back up those reccs– often coming to the conclusion that they are bunk, or not rigid enough to support the recc. She’s actually been on freakonimcs a few times and it was fascinating.

    4. Omg! I love this question. Irrational risk calculation was the topic of my undergrad thesis <3

      A good starting point into this topic (especially if you don't have an academic background in psych or econ) is through Dan Ariely. He is a well-known and respected behavioral economist- and was also my introduction to the issue of irrational decision making even with "perfect information". I'd recommend starting with his Ted Talk (I'll link below) and then move into the book titled Predictably Irrational.

      The second book for you would be Calculated Risks by Gerd Gigerenzer. This is much more statistical than Ariely- but handles with more specific examples you mentioned in your post.

      Start with these two and you'll have plenty of theories and background to move forward into game theory and interpretation of statistics.

      1. https://www.ted.com/speakers/dan_ariely

        https://www.amazon.com/Predictably-Irrational-Revised-Expanded-Decisions/dp/0061353248/ref=sr_1_2?crid=HWZA52U9KN6J&keywords=predictably+irrational&qid=1564666772&s=books&sprefix=predic%2Cstripbooks%2C116&sr=1-2

        https://www.amazon.com/Calculated-Risks-Know-Numbers-Deceive/dp/0743254236/ref=pd_sbs_14_1/142-7202024-2850863?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0743254236&pd_rd_r=4ee3edb1-80c1-49e8-a47a-61f37e3f2234&pd_rd_w=Napuh&pd_rd_wg=z8dIX&pf_rd_p=43281256-7633-49c8-b909-7ffd7d8cb21e&pf_rd_r=81E8J8TPH3WZNPVTF3P8&psc=1&refRID=81E8J8TPH3WZNPVTF3P8

    5. What about the Gift of Fear? Comes at it from another direction – to help you re-set your own gauge about it.

      1. Inexpensive quick read that I recommend to every lawyer I know as well as others. Gavin De Becker has protected presidents, advised domestic abuse shelters, protecting celebrities and politicians and every woman should read the chapter on domestic violence. He grew up in a violent home i.e. adults shooting other adults. Also wrote Protecting the Gift i.e. the children. Highly recommend. Workplace shooting information is especially timely for obvious reasons!

    6. Black Swan and Antifragile (same author, can’t remember, its been years since I read them) are great books about risk. But they dont talk about feelings and thrills (that I recall).

    7. Driving around entails some risk, but what is possible vs what is likely are two wildly different things. Like no accident is likely but a minor accident is survivable. A major accident may also likely be survivable

      Stranger abduction: always ends poorly unless your kid is Arya Stark.

      Worst still: known abusers we met into our kids lives and find out about after the damage has been done. And that damage has a long tail. I don’t worry about the strangers really _ they are rare. The known abusers: frighteningly common.

      1. Also, driving my kid around is unavoidable, so I do what I can and just hope I’m in the percentage that doesn’t get in a bad accident. Abduction is the result, not the action, so it’s not a direct comparison to driving, but OP if your friends are like, not letting their children out of their sight in crowded malls or some such, well, you don’t *have* to take that risk to get along in modern society, while it’s pretty darn hard to function without driving places (at least where I live and work).

        TL;DR if I was constantly worrying about driving my kid to school, I wouldn’t be very functional.

        1. Driving your kid around is avoidable to some extent, though. Most people do choose to drive, even for very short distances, and bike use or other alternative transportation use here is very low compared to other countries. Obviously this is a multifaceted problem requiring a lot of solutions (better bike lanes and so on), but there are also a lot of parents who choose to enroll their kid in activities requiring lots of driving or who choose to live in areas that are not convenient to the things they need to access daily. When I think of driving risk, I don’t aim to constantly worry about the driving I need to do, but I try to find ways to reduce driving completely and switch to biking/walking and public transit. It’s not only safer, but I also get more exercise, it’s more eco-friendly, it’s more enjoyable, and so on. Basically, no one wants to be an anxious wreck, but we can make lots of choices (big, like living in a town with public transit options and small, like biking the 2 miles to the store) that reduce our driving time.

          2. Because biking is a generally safe activity. Driving isn’t. From the top NYTimes result: “The most common cause of death in children under the age of 15 is unintentional injury, and the most common cause of unintentional injury is car accidents.” You can do a lot more research on this if you’re interested.

          3. OMG cycling in traffic is incredibly dangerous and with kids I’m sure even more so.

          4. Cycling in traffic can be dangerous because cars (and drivers) are dangerous. When cities build protected bike lanes and paths, people bike way more and fatalities (almost all of them caused by drivers) go way down. We have a paved, flat bike path in my town that is as safe as can be and it leads straight from the elementary and high school to the residential neighborhoods, but many parents insist on driving their kids .75 miles instead. That is not as safe as kids walking or biking home and it’s a lot worse for traffic, the environment, and cyclists.

          5. I think you’re preaching to the choir here… We (ok mostly my husband) walk and bike enough that we’re known in the ‘hood as “oh yeah your husband has that bike?!” … and thank goodness our city is continually making biking safer. We only have one car, in a place where every single other two-adult family I know has two cars, if not more. Instead of a second car, we bought a pricey cargo bike.

            But I’m pretty sure there is nowhere I could live that would be a reasonable walking or public transit distance from my job. I work in an industrial area; there just aren’t houses here. Well now that I think about it, I could move a bit closer to work, take a bus, then do a 20-ish minute walk along a sidewalk-less road where lots of semis drive… (but that would mean moving to a place where I definitely couldn’t walk to a grocery store/coffee shop/park/movie theater, unlike my current sitch).

            Anyway, until recently, Kiddo went to a daycare on site at my employer — for a great biker it would probably take 90 minutes each way (and that’s through heavy traffic about 1/2way) to get here from my house… doable I guess, but not something I’m going to do. Also I’m not a great biker.

            Now she’s at a preschool (expensive! not accessible to everyone!) that’s biking distance from our house, so my husband bikes her there (because he’s a SAHD — definitely not an accessible option for a lot of families!). It’s probably a health and safety wash (good for my husband to get that exercise, bad for them to breathe the exhaust, any accident will be at a lower speed, but they’re on a bike not in a car…) but it’s a choice that works for us. We often walk to visit friends/family who live close by. We walk to the park most weekends. We bike to local breweries. But to take her to the doctor, to go to a museum, to visit friends who aren’t very local, to run an errand when I’m the only parent around — there’s just no reasonable choice but to drive her.

            I would love for cities to be designed differently, for public transit to make sense, for my job and home and kid’s school to be downtown, to not have to pay for a car/insurance/gas, etc. But until that time comes, I just have to accept driving my kid as part of the cost of functioning here, and… to address the OP’s original question, regardless of how ‘safe’ it is or isn’t, I just can’t spare the emotional energy to worry about the risk of something that is, for practical purposes, unavoidable.

    8. Thinking Fast and Slow might have some of the brain science stuff you are looking for.

    9. Thanks for the awesome recs everyone!! The NPR article was fascinating and I’ve bookmarked everything else for later.

    10. Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear is about this topic exactly, and was written because the author was put through the legal wringer after leaving her kid in the car for a few minutes on a cool day. Such a great read; my favorite statistic is that a child would have to be left outside for 750,000 YEARS to be abducted by a stranger.

      Another book that’s ten years out of date (so the examples are for things like shark attacks, but the underlying reasons for fear are obviously still the same) is The Culture of Fear: Why Americans Are Afraid of the Wrong Things.

      I could talk for HOURS about this topic!

    11. Way late on this, but:

      The Science of Fear : Why we fear the things we shouldn’t by Daniel Gardner. It’s exactly what you’re looking for!

    1. I looked into refinancing but with closing costs and all it ended up that I would have to stay in my home for an additional 20 years to come out ahead moneywise. Not worth it!

    2. Nope. There’s a cost to refinancing I don’t think I’ll recoup from the change.

    3. I use a mortgage broker who is zero cost to refinance. Her commission offsets the closing costs. My interest rate may be higher as a result but that makes the comparison very straightforward. I am not refinancing this time because I have a very good rate from before interest rates increased, but I wanted to throw out the bit about the no cost refinancing.

      1. I did a no cost refinancing shortly after I purchased my house. But unless interest rates drop significantly more, it just doesn’t make sense. The same amount I would save with a lower interest rate would be eaten up by the fact that it would extend my loan another 8 years. (I know I could pay faster than the new 30 year payment plan, but, knowing myself, it isn’t likely to happen consistently.)

    4. I’m thinking about it. I have 22 years left on a 30 year mortgage and am thinking about refinancing to a 15 year mortgage. It appears that I could go from 4.375% to 3.5% and I can comfortably afford the increase to the monthly payment. My long term goal is to pay less in interest over the term of the loan. Any advice either way from the Hive would be welcome.

      1. We went to a 15 about 2 years ago now and I’m so happy we did. It’s so heartening to see actual meaningful progress on paying off your mortgage.

      2. Make sure to look at the amount of savings (if any) in interest/closing costs over the remaining period you plan to own the house, realistically — over the life of the loan isn’t really relevant if you’re going to sell within five years.

      3. Are you eligible for credit union membership? I went from a 30-year “big bank” loan to a 15-year credit union mortgage and my payment actually stayed the same due to a decrease in interest rate similar to what you described. My closing costs were a fixed $1000.

        1. You can also throw extra money in for principal each month and effectively shortening the loan without actually having to refinance.

      4. The Hubs and I did this a while back. We originally financed over 30 years and then just refied to lower rates in .5% to .75% increments a few times until we were able to do a 15 at more or less the same monthly payment as our original 30. No regrets and looking forward to paying off the mortgage a few years before The Kid starts college!

    5. The fed rate drop only impacts mortgage rates directly if you are floating your rate. Fixed, longer-term rates have been down for a while now after a precipitous drop in late spring/early summer. Long-term rates track with the US Treasury, and that’s a function of broader market pricing. Short and long term rates tend to move in tandem, but not proportionally or basis point for basis point.

      That all said, it’s a great time to refi if the math makes sense for your unique situation as long-term rates are about as low as they’ve been. Also, values are generally up in stronger markets so your fresh appraisal may indicate a lower LTV than you anticipated, thereby getting you even better pricing on your rate because the loan will be perceived as “less risky”. Find a good mortgage broker and see if you can get some information on both the sheer costs to refi (legal, recording, appraisal, etc.) and also just the math of a probable new rate and payment for you.

    6. OP here, we are paying PMI & I think that refinancing at what our house is worth now would get us out of it hopefully.

      1. Yes!! Refi for that reason alone, and that has nothing to do with an interest rate decrease… that’d just be an added perk!

      2. Definitely refi then; perhaps your LTV will even have adjusted enough to give you more of a break!

  14. Five years ago, I had laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis. Based on symptoms I’ve been having for the past six months or so, I am certain that I have more adhesions again. I want to pursue having another surgery — unfortunately, that’s not an uncommon scenario with endo. My beloved, excellent OB/GYN retired literally yesterday and I haven’t found a new doc yet. Here are my options:
    1) Stay at my current practice but switch to another doc. There is Doc A who I’d be OK with, and who from all accounts is an excellent surgeon, but I suspect she’s nearing retirement, too. I met two of the other docs during the course of my pregnancies and didn’t gel with them. There are a few newbie docs on staff that I’ve never met.
    2) Switch practices to see an OB/GYN that my sister and several friends rave about, assuming that he’s taking on new patients. He is experienced with the type of surgery I need to have. I didn’t exactly hit the genetic lottery on gynecological matters, so I have a THICK stack of records from multiple surgeries, births and miscarriages. So I’m somewhat nervous about switching practices — where do I even begin on explaining my medical history?!

    I’m currently sitting at my desk wishing I’d stayed home with a heating pad over my abdomen. First day of this cycle, and I am super miserable and in pain.

    1. Just switch. Have your old practice transfer your records. Doctors deal with this all the time, it will be fine, and you need the best care you can get! Hugs.

    2. i would either try to find something out about the newbie docs (are they new to the practice or to the profession?) probably switch, even though it is a pain in the neck bc it sounds like this might not be the last time you need their services and switching to another doc who is about to retire doesn’t necessarily make sense? my father who is a doctor always says the ideal doctor in many specialties is in their 40s – they are early enough in their career that they are still trying to keep up with new developments, stay current, etc. but not so green that they have no experience, and you will likely not have to worry about switching in the near term

    3. I’d just go to the new practice- I switched practices after a few miscarriages mid pregnancy…. it’s better to find a dr you trust and can be with long term.

      1. I would switch, but see if you can get a FEMALE obgyn to do the job. I always felt queezy when I used mom’s obgyn, although he had given birth to me, but I did not think he was up on the latest technology and I felt weird letting him examine me. So I found a nice woman obgyn, and have never had an issue.

      2. I’m going to add that I wasn’t able to easily transfer my records. I have a ton going on, and mostly, even though I’m sure they would prefer to have those xrays, notes, etc, it hasn’t been a big deal for them to check up on things and operate without them (I’ll usually tell them the things that went wrong previously so they can check up on stuff).

    4. I don’t see why it would take the practice longer to get up to speed then it would take a new doctor at the existing practice. Am I missing something?

    5. I’m a doctor. I would switch. Sounds like he specializes in what you need. Transferring medical records is routine.

    1. Honestly, I’d keep it- I live in ON stuff like this during the summer and it actually holds up surprisingly well & is super comfortable. Can you see if a lining can be sewn in?

    3. Why not just hang onto it until vacation, wear it to death while there, and see what happens after that?

    7. Some options!

      https://www.verishop.com/product/p1700574986275?/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=prospecting&gclid=CjwKCAjwm4rqBRBUEiwAwaWjjNMticKKTjvdEW_ESSgwGTXUfKgVrbrsi6GyBHpjxJBZ2rByqDCvlRoCZe8QAvD_BwE

      https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/2323923?cm_mmc=feeds-_-adlucent-_-google-_-pla&utm_source=adlucent&utm_medium=feeds&utm_content=google&utm_campaign=pla&utm_channel=shopping_acq_p&sid=545650&aid=%5BADL%5D%20%5BPLA%5D%20%5BShopping%5D%20-%20Categories%20-%20Non-Brand%5BDesktop%5D&gclid=CjwKCAjwm4rqBRBUEiwAwaWjjLolVaPi5d1Nhr50TQiuRsMm6B5ZJ5NBF8D4eJGRnpQlmuW_1KA-hBoCQtwQAvD_BwE&color=BLACK

      https://www.stories.com/en_usd/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/product.shoulder-tie-midi-slip-dress-black.0744528003.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwm4rqBRBUEiwAwaWjjD9p722H5rEARzIymzKN_iq8VbhTxPWBa5Bz5HYIF_WzWgMqxhy04hoCr0gQAvD_BwE

      https://www.zappos.com/p/bcbgeneration-button-front-slip-dress-ull6189954-black/product/9269491/color/3?utm_source=google&utm_medium=pla_g&utm_campaign=194006251&utm_term=pla-__iv_p_1_g_9670858531_c_47302818931_n_g_d_c_v__l__t__r_1o2_x_pla_y_15872_f_online_o_47403940_z_US_i_en_j_55823613280_s__e__h_9060373_ii__vi__&utm_content=47403940&zap_placement=1o2&_ivgu=d1f4a8ac-3b50-4b41-841e-5fa31e7ff892

      https://www.belk.com/p/eileen-fisher-sand-wash-tencel-cami-dress/0438628468788.html?cm_mmc=CSE-Shopzilla-Women%3EWomen%27s+Clothing%3EDresses%3EShirt+Dresses-0438628468788&CAWELAID=500001660018855312&szredirectid=15646859142451201416010090301008005

  16. Does anyone have family that is very rigid and judgmental? I love and am very close with my parents but they’ll both say stuff that needles in and gets to my core (ex- my mom will do a dramatic pause before telling me my dress for an event is nice, and I always feel like the pause is her judging why it would like better if I lost weight, the dress was different etc- just one example of many). Or like when I had my SECOND kid on day 2 my mom was like “you know it is good to hold your baby a lot” when I was taking a break to eat something. Whenever I call them on it, they deny it and say it is my issue because what they usually have said on it’s face is not offensive… but I feel like I KNOW what they mean behind it.
    I am also really tired- work and life are hard right now… am I being overly sensitive? We live across the country from them and would like to move closer, but every time this happens, I’m kinda grateful for the distance.
    Any constructive ways of dealing with this without icing them out?

    1. Passive agressive is the worst. My mom is like this. Through therapy I’ve realized it’s 100% a her issue. No matter what I do, something else would be criticized. It’s really about her own insecurities – she’s constantly looking for something to comment/criticize about other people so she feels better about herself. I’ve decided I’m not wasting time trying to change who she is. I just disengage. usually I do a pause and vague response like ‘okay…’ or ‘interesting…’ then change the subject. Refusing to engage doesn’t give them anything to push back on. Makes me sad that I can’t have a close relationship with her like my friends do with their moms, but that’s just how it is.

    2. My in laws are like this. Always making husband feel like he’s not enough. They do love him but it’s weirdly twisted. I have no advice for you except to not expect them to change.

    3. You’re not being too sensitive. My parents (especially Mom) can be like this and … it’s hard. My best advice is to have other people in your life who will build you up as a parent and as a person. As much as I wish I could discuss certain topics with my parents, it is not worth the aggravation or weird reaction I might get. I often feel like our relationship is “close” — as in we spend a decent amount of time together — but it doesn’t have much depth.

      Hugs to you! Recognize that this really isn’t about you at all; it says more about their insecurities and worldview than it does about your parenting or life skills.

    4. Honestly, therapy for you. Not because anything is “wrong” with you, but because a therapist will be very helpful in unpacking this from both sides: (i) why your parents are acting this way and (ii) why you react to it the way you do. In my case, those two together gave me permission to dismiss most of the obnoxiousness. If you don’t get there immediately (I don’t know, maybe because you just had a baby and are TIRED!), they can help you with strategies on that front as well.

      Figuring out how to tolerate (and understand, in some ways) my mom was hugely life-impacting for me. I’d encourage anyone with a difficult parent relationship to work on it–for their sake, not the parent’s.

    5. Hugs. Becoming a parent has made me think critically and honestly about my own parents. I’d reframe your thinking. Your parents are probably great parents in a million ways. But this critical judgment is a flaw that you don’t want to emulate. Hold on to that and imagine what you’d do differently if you were speaking to your own grown children. I’ve found this takes me out of the moment and helps ease the sting when my parents do and say hurtful things.

    6. I tend to respond as though I didn’t catch their subtext. I find it takes a lot of the fun out of it for the passive aggressor. and generally causes them either to cut way back on their nonsense or to escalate into something we can actually fight about. “Oh, thanks! I really like this dress too.” “And just love holding her!” And so on. I once had a minutes-long conversation with my mother-in-law in which she was hinting around I should change from my perfectly acceptable outfit into something more “modest” but wasn’t willing to actually say anything directly. It gets kinda fun after a while: “Bare shoulders are so much cooler on a hot day. Wouldn’t you agree, Harriet?”

      1. Or you can say, “what *exactly* do you mean by that?” If she says “nothing,” the correct response is a firm “Good. Keep it that way.”

    7. My mother also has a lot of opinions and has an ability to turn me into a sullen teenager every time she visits. I tend to deal with it by smiling and brightly saying, “Okay, thanks!” Or “I’ll think about it!” And then remembering that she loves me and just wants the best for me and our family. She isn’t trying to be critical; she is trying to be helpful. Sometimes, though, if she makes a suggestion that I find really beyond me, I will make a face or laugh out loud at it and she realizes that she’s crossed a line.

    9. “Whenever I call them on it, they deny it and say it is my issue because what they usually have said on it’s face is not offensive… but I feel like I KNOW what they mean behind it.”

      Did my mom adopt you? I totally get what you mean. My mom’s latest was saying “it would be less expensive if you bought non-custom window treatments and installed them yourself.”

      1. Lol, my parents had so many “helpful suggestions” when we bought our house- including, “you are paying way too much for this, our 4000 sqft house’s mortgage (that we bought in 1989) is only 3k a month, you are paying that for 1500 sqft!” and “just add a kitchen to your basement so that you can get a renter and make extra money!” or “it would only take 20 minutes to change out ALL of the electrical outlet covers (45 min later of my dad and I laying on the floor we did ONE (really old pita wiring))!”
        I also have professional cleaners come every other week (and always have them come the day my parents come) and my mom brings cleaning supplies when she visits me and she’ll be like “I didn’t know if you’d have any supplies to clean.” Like… what!?! Now I’m just laughing at how crazy they can be.

    10. Thanks guys, at least a feel a little less alone with this. What is it about parents making you feel like a kid again!?!

    11. You are not overly sensitive. I’m an only child with a very negative, critical family with a culture of invalidation, passive aggression and either pouting or throwing toddler tantrums when you call them on it or, if they think that can get away with it (i.e., when I was a child) berating me for standing up to them. I either feel like I’m losing my mind or like I wish I were dead when I’m around them and have absorbed an hour or two of oily and condescending comments from dad or mom’s self-centered and negative drama. Some people are just toxic, and they either don’t know or don’t care about changing. This is why the term “dysfunctional family” was invented, though mine are no better with people outside of the family.

      To be fair to my parents, their own parents were worse, so they probably think that their attitude towards the world is normal. They don’t seem to understand that they way they talk to everyone is why they have no friends and are constantly being pushed out of the social groups that they join and then attempt to take over + let everyone else know that they’re stupid and can’t do anything right.

      Keep distance and take good care of yourself. Whether you adopt the strategy of “I’ll consider that” or “I didn’t ask” (my strategy at this time, because I don’t care anymore) is up to you. Most of all, keep their voices out of your head. I needed some therapy to work on that, on separating further/individuating, and on boundary setting and protecting. It was immensely helpful to me.

  17. Has anyone tried the videos on Khan Academy for economics, finance, (post-AP Calculus) math or computer science? How did you find the quality of instruction? I’m trying to self-learn a few years out of college and am wondering whether they would be a good source, or if I should look elsewhere. Mostly out of intellectual curiosity but bonus points if I can educate myself a bit on the basics of the finance and coding industries (newbie lawyer).

    1. Khan Academy is a waste of time. I’ve tried out the kids’ math materials with my daughter. The videos are dry and don’t derive formulas, and the practice problems are too easy to be useful.

      For coding, try Coursera.

      1. That is the opposite of my experience. My daughter had crappy math teachers for her last two years of high school and Khan is basically the only way she passed.

        That said, I would not use it to learn something from scratch myself.

        1. +1 my son used Khan in high school….definitely helped him with math, SAT scores and he landed a scholdarship to college

      2. I found them indispensable for knocking the rust of my math skills after a 15 year hiatus. Back in school for a 2nd degree in Computer Science (1st was in an arts field) and I found KA to be my favorite online resource for filling gaps. I’m not sure how it would be for learning something completely new start to finish. If you prefer reading to videos, google “Paul’s Online Math Notes”. It’s a really good resource, too.

      3. Also the opposite of my experience with the kids’ videos. I found them extremely relevant and transferable to the skills learned in the classroom.

    3. Khan Academy really helped me fill in the blanks for finance and economics when I started my MBA program. I was a poli sci major so didn’t take Calculus or Econ beyond the 200 level, so I had a lot to learn around derivatives and some of the finance math.

    1. While not my style, I do think Elizabeth’s picks have been spot on. I love the fresh perspective.

    2. Wow, there is a LOT of fan-girling lately. I’m half-wondering if all of you are plants :)

      2. I mean, it’s a great top. It’s got enough detail to be interesting, it’s got sleeves (ish), the neck line is work appropriate, the print is cute, it would work with pants or a skirt. Boxes checked!

        1. This is it for me. Her picks check all the boxes vs. previous picks that might have a great cut but dated print or fresh print but dated cut etc.

          The picks are consistently professsional but fresh, interesting and wearable.

        1. A comment on a blog that is actually related to the subject of the blog post? A nice comment? You have a very low threshold for weird.

          1. LOL nice try, you know that the point of the comments section here is barely to talk about the post

          2. Are you kidding? I can’t tell. Where is the rule written where the official point of the comment section is “barely to talk about the post”? Yeah obviously everyone has seized upon the comment section as an opportunity shout into the void along with a bunch of other anonymous professional women–I’ve read here for a decade–but it’s still not weird to make a nice comment about the actual topic of the blog.

            I will say that this place has gotten worse since the infestation of people like you who seem to enjoy making snarky comments picking apart the most benign posts.

      4. It’s sad that complimenting a woman on a job well done is cause for suspicion (albeit joking) and perceived “weirdness.” Why shouldn’t people say nice things about Elizabeth’s picks? She’s a human being who I’m sure enjoys being told people appreciate her work, as all humans do.

  19. I need help from those of you who love the Revlon one-step dryer. I bought one and tried to use it for the first time this morning and I’m feeling underwhelmed. I’m not sure if it’s just my hair type or if it’s a technique thing. I watched a million tutorial videos and everyone uses it and then seems to be left with gorgeous, bouncy curls on their ends. My hair looks mostly straight, with the tiniest little, almost imperceptible, bend at the ends. Generally my hair is fine and very, very straight but I thought I was doing the technique right with twisting the dryer and holding it at the ends a bit longer. Help? Is it just my hair?

    1. Sorry to say it’s your hair. If you have curly or wavy hair the dryer is going to smooth that texture into a bouncy curl on the end, but if your hair is like yours, there’s no curl to work with. You need to use a large-barrel curling iron if you want that effect, since it’s hotter. OTOH, my hair is naturally curly, and I can get a blowout like you describe with bounce and a bend at the end of the hair, but back when stick straight no curl at all was in fashion there was no way I could achieve that look.

    2. If it helps, I like the dryer, but I can’t/don’t get curls with it. I get smooth hair that looks like a blowout, not curls.

      1. Same. I have fine, wavy hair and I love love love it, but I don’t get curls.

        Has anyone splurged on the $400 Dyson?

      1. Sigh … thanks everyone for the input. I didn’t expect to magically get curls, but I can usually get a bit of a curl using a blow dryer and round brush, so I though this would be similar but easier/better. But it’s actually more straight than when I use a round brush. Back to the drawing board.

    4. Not familiar with this product, but I need higher temp/longer times to curl my similar hair. I have a Babyliss miracurl that actually curls my hair, most other things do not work or take hours. If you try again, it also helps me to do it on freshly washed hair as oily hair is harder to curl.

    5. ive been meaning to post the same thing! i also got it and am underwhelmed with the results

  20. Does anyone have any good pics for glass shower doors that leave you less exposed? Sharing a bath with my SO and Both of us would prefer a torso cloak of invisibility (if not full body).

    1. Add film. Despite your immediate mental image, it does not end up looking cheap unless the install is bad.

      1. There’s also a frost spray you can use from Home Depot- I put it on a front door that was rather open and it worked great. Just practice a little beforehand to get an even swoop.

    3. Not meant to be snarky, but would you not just lock the door? Is the second person using the toilet while the first person showers? If so, are you intending that the showerer doesn’t see out also?

      1. My husband and I are often in the bathroom at the same time doing different things… but then again, we don’t care about seeing each other in any state of nudity.

  21. This top is super cute. I’m gravitating toward a pretty blouse + tailored pants aesthetic these days, so I might have to splurge on this.

  22. Long story about family dynamic and how to handle this situation. For context, I am young (30) and my husband passed away about a year ago. His sister currently lives with her husband and 3 kids about 5 hours away, and I am very close to her parents (we live in the same town and I see them nearly every day – I truly consider them a second set of my own parents). I also would consider my SIL to be my sister…we have the same type of relationship that I have with my own sibling. My SIL has struggles – she goes through intense periods of ups and downs, but sees a therapist weekly and is taking necessary steps to be in a good place. However, she often cuts her parents off from communication for days at a time, usually because her mom misses a phone call or forgets to respond to a phone call, because dad doesn’t call her to check in or talk, or because she decides she’s “done” with that relationship. It’s a constant “walking on egg shells” type of thing for them (and for me too…I don’t want to upset her so I always try to please her too). I see it as manipulation of her parents and their feelings/emotions/thoughts…I want to step in and have a conversation with her about this, but I don’t know how to approach it. Any thoughts or advice?

    1. Her brother died and she’s struggling with her mental health and it working with a therapist. There isn’t a benefit from you trying to speak with her about her behavior. I’d leave it alone and just continue being a great DIL to your parents-in-law.

      1. I’d do a bit more watch and wait. And, support the parents. If you think she is not taking all necessary steps to improve her mental health, that’s where I think you have a role. But, on the whole, she needs a professional.

    2. Don’t. This is not your business and you can’t solve it. My real sister has always been like this and the best thing is to ignore it. I also don’t let my parents whine about it to me. They raised her, they can talk to her about it if they want to. Nothing good will come of meddling here.

    3. I’m sorry for your loss and so glad to hear that you have a good relationship with your husband’s family. You’re a good in-law. That said, this is not something you need to worry about. Your SIL has her own relationship with her parents, separate from yours and probably with many more years of differing baggage. She’s obviously working on some things and will figure it out.

    4. Very sorry for your loss. You can for sure talk to SIL about your own relationship with her and/or any mental health struggles she’s having. I don’t think it’s your place to chastise her about her relationship with her parents. My opinion would be the same if she were your full sibling (absent extenuating circumstances, like you’re a parent figure to sibling, or parents are sick/elderly and unable to make their own decisions). It’s really hard to see people we love being treated poorly by other people we love. But it is not your battle to fight. I agree with your instinct to be supportive of the parents. Are they in therapy too?

      1. I mean with this particular dynamic. Obviously continue the great relationship you have with your in-laws and SIL.

    7. Wait, days at a time? Gently, that’s a very normal interval to go without talking to one’s parents. I can understand the need for space in her situation. When I’ve had a few bad depressive episodes in the past, talking to my (loving, concerned) mother often just felt like too much since I felt I had to manage her feelings about it and I got so many inquiries about how I was doing. There might also be some family dynamics in play that you can’t quite see because you didn’t grow up with them. And even if she were ignoring them much longer, it’s her relationship to navigate.

  23. If anyone is interested in a movie recommendation, I just saw The Farewell starring Awkwafina and am encouraging all my friends to go! It is mainly in Mandarin (with subtitles) but touched a lot on family & cultural differences. I loved it and gained a lot of respect for Awkwafina – she learned Chinese specifically for this film. Just wanted to share!

    1. Awkwafina does a lot of cool stuff. I’d never heard of her before Crazy Rich Asians, but I really like her. Thanks for the rec.

    2. Thanks for the rec. The trailer lowkey made me sad, I don’t like thinking about grandparents dying. Was it more sad or did it end up being uplifting?

      1. So I actually laughed quite a bit, but obviously the topic is really sad. I saw a lot of similarities to my family, which made me more emotional than I expected. I don’t want to spoil the movie, but I’d say more uplifting than you’d expect.

      1. Oh, and somewhat related, we saw a prescreening of Blinded by the Light a few weeks ago; I think it’s coming out soon, and I don’t know if it’s gonna be everywhere or just in niche, indie cinemas but if you can see if you really should!

  24. Has anyone switched their practice area (as a litigator) while pretty senior in their career? I moved to a new city about 7 months ago, and while my job is tolerable for now (good hours, nice people but disappointing pay/benefits), I’ve started to look for other opportunities in the area. The problem is that in my small city, the only areas of litigation are things I know nothing about (think very niche area of law, like water rights). However, I have a ton of practical trial/complex litigation experience, so I have one firm particularly interested in me (I am meeting with the senior partners next week). Any thoughts on how to “sell” myself at the lunch? I am not 100% confident that I will love this new area of law, but I know I am a quick learner, and I’ve surprised myself in the past as far as my legal interests run. And then relatedly, for anyone who has done this, did it work out well for you?

    1. Flip how you think about this. My niche firm acknowledges that it’ll never find litigators with niche experience, so it just looks for litigation talent. You can teach the subject, you can’t teach experience.

    2. Trial skills are trial skills. I’d say in my “humble’ opinion, but it would be fake-humble because I am an ex-litigator who now manages litigation and chooses the attorneys to whom to assign cases. If you have tried products cases, you have had to figure out the science behind the product, prep experts in specific topics, calculate damages, etc. I have no doubt you can do that in a case involving breach of a covenant not to compete or medical malpractice or breach of fidicuiary duty. A trial attorney has to become an expert in the specifics of whatever the case is about. That in itself is the skill.

    3. Yes a I did a dramatic switch and am really happy with it. I think if you’re a curious person you can learn to love something new but I’d try to explore as much as you can about the day-to-day experience of the job, because that matters a ton. For example, do cases regularly go to trial or settle? If settlement, is that typically before or after discovery (that will hugely impact your quality of life depending on how much you like or dislike discovery)? What are the clients like (individuals, governments, and public or private corps are all so different)? Are you switching from state to federal court or vice versa and what will the new court system feel like? If you like writing, is that valued and important part of the practice? How do you get cases – if plaintiff side, how much time will you be spending on investigations? Is the bar for this new practice area very male-dominated and do you care about that? That kind of stuff.

    4. Not the same, but I switched from a broader litigation practice to a more niche area (that I was partly practicing in before). I have had some growing pains adjusting to learning the niche area. However, they hired me because of my broader litigation experience and my ability to learn the niche area, and my broader litigation experience has been extremely helpful to them. For example, the attorneys that have only practiced in the niche area I am in now have no federal court experience and really don’t know about other areas of law whereas I did quite a bit of work in federal court and have dabbled in a lot of different types of litigation. I’m now the go-to person at the firm for any case that isn’t squarely in their niche area. I think you could fulfill a similar role at this new firm.

      1. very useful, thanks. I too have a lot of federal court experience, and this new area of law will primarily be state court. So hopefully I could be a similar resource at this firm.

    5. Yes. Going anon for this because it may out me, but I went from commercial litigation to pretty exclusively patent infringement litigation. It was a learning curve on the law and the different procedure, but generally all of my litigation skills were transferable. Learning on the job was fine as long as I was okay asking for and occasionally feeling stupid when I was used to feeling like I knew what I was doing. I ate a lot of time reading blogs and getting up to speed on the law, but generally it was a fairly easy transition.

    6. Yes! A couple of years ago, my firm asked to develop an expertise in general privacy law (general = not HIPAA, not financial)–data breach response, privacy compliance, etc. It was like drinking from a fire hose for a long time, because (a) it’s a big area of the law, and (b) I was keeping up a full-time litigation practice at the same time. But I am really, really happy I did it. It’s an area of law that I really love, and being in this niche has led to a noticeable increase in my originations. It’s never too late!

Comments are closed.