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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I’m so excited about this sheath dress from Brooks Brothers. I always prefer short-sleeved dresses to sleeveless, because I hate feeling like I can’t take off my jacket or sweater in a warm meeting room. This dress has a really timeless-looking fit, but somehow the boucle fabric looks fresh and fun. I would wear this with a white blazer this spring and summer.
The dress is $428 and available in sizes 0–16. Checked Boucle Sheath Dress
Brooks Brothers' Red Fleece line has a more affordable checked boucle dress for $158 (although its henley-style neckline might be a love-it-or-hate-it kind of thing). This other checked boucle dress of theirs is tweed and is on sale for $249 from $498. For plus sizes, this short-sleeved plaid dress from Leota is a nice alternative for $188.
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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Check in! How are you doing?
You are beautiful and your work is valuable.
Panda Bear
Nice way to start a Monday on the internet :)
Doing OK. Personally still recovering from what I think was just a garden variety cold; symptoms have leveled off to a mild cough. But because I had that cold all last week and my office is asking us to all WFH, l’m starting to get a little cabin fever. Thankfully the sun is shining so I plan to go for a long walk later.
I have no little kiddos to manage, entertain and reassure while trying to work and have so much sympathy for those who do! I wish I could offer to help some of my neighbors who I know might need a hand with bored kids, but again, I don’t want to spread germs. Ugh.
Cb
Schools and nurseries are still open in Scotland, we are on WFH recommended but my office is empty, so I’m working from the office as I didn’t get the notice until I was in.
A million thanks to everyone who gave me a sanity check on Friday re my SIL funeral. We decided to cancel which was the hard thing, but the right thing, which feels like the theme of this crisis. We couldn’t risk my exposure, exposing others, and the possibility of getting stuck away from our son.
Trying to support local businesses as much as possible. Spent the weekend stocking up on fancy tea at the local tea shop, hitting up the Chinese supermarket, and the French bakery. Going to go wild at the brand new independent bookshop if things are still open tomorrow, and am buying a block of yoga classes for later in the year, as I know they’ll see a big hit in their income.
anon
Oh, dude. I mean this gently and with love – I’ve semi-lurked on this site a long time and I think you’re a really nice person and your love story is really sweet – but your husband skipped his sister’s funeral because you were concerned about exposure and you’re still heading out to the shops?
Anon
That’s uncalled for. As you surely know, there’s a big difference between popping into a small shop/buying needed groceries and traveling six hours on public transit for an event attended by many people from all over.
Anon
+1 she won’t be locked down while at the local bakery, physically unable to get to her kid for an unknown amount of time.
joan wilder
Anon at 12:12–good job for managing to post the meanest comment I’ve seen yet on this site. Notwithstanding the huge difference in exposure that attending the funeral would have been (if you had read her comment the other day), nitpicking someone who is grieving is the lowest of the low.
Anon
Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of mean sh*t here, but that was pretty bad.
Anon
To the extent that it should be removed and this poster banned. This is abhorrent. You should be ashamed of yourself. How dare you say something like that to a grieving family member? Do you not think this is terrible enough already without your horrible, horrible comment?
Cb
Gosh, wow! It was an incredibly difficult decision, and one we didn’t take lightly. It was a combination of risk of exposure and being stuck away from our child, with my mom unable to return to her home. The government just announced travel restrictions so it looks like it was the right call.
AFT
Managing… Had trouble getting out of bed this morning as it was all pretty overwhelming. My kids are currently home from elementary school for 3 weeks (2 + spring break), and husband and I are WFH. Both of have jobs that truly do not require we be anywhere in particular, but have been very disappointed how our companies have failed to encourage people to WFH and help to curb spread. In IL, restaurants/bars will close for dine-in after tonight, many gyms and non-essential government and private offices have closed or moved to remote, and …. crickets from others.
LaurenB
Also in IL. All the companies I know of where employees can WFH are allowing them to do so, but sorry to hear that others aren’t. My public library closed (darn it, I didn’t get there in time!), the two major universities are closing (NU extending spring break and going online for 3 weeks then making a determination, U of Chicago going online). All the gyms / workout places I go (barre, yoga, pilates, spin, etc.) are all closed. Pritzker made the right call on restaurants closing. Our local hospital has medical tents set up to handle projected overflow, and my spouse (physician) had to wear a hazmat suit for the first time in his medical career to examine a patient suspected of having COVID-19.
LawDawg
If you have a library card, download your library’s preferred app and start using it. It’s a luxury to have all of those books available without leaving the house.
anonymous
Yes, I’ve been using Overdrive and Libby for e-books.
Doodles
Ohio is doing the same thing. Our restaurants and bars closed except for dine in. And the governor is talking about keeping schools closed until the end of the year. My daycare is closed for 3 weeks. People are encouraged to work from home but, so far, neither my law office nor my husband’s have closed (he’s in an administrative role in the state’s largest health system).
anonymous
I’m in Ohio as well. I think it was a good move to close bars and restaurants for dine-in. With St. Patrick’s day tomorrow, I’m sure people would be crowding the bars for their green beer. I picked up carry out from a Mexican restaurant on Friday during happy hour and it was completely packed.
I’m still trying to process this new normal and I feel horrible for how this is going to impact the livelihood of so many people.
Carrots
I live alone (and am the only one of my close friends who does), so after rounding out supplies over the weekend, have already been feeling a little bit of the social isolation. In the DMV and my office FINALLY gave in and allowed us to WFH (hasn’t had a remote work policy ever, so this is huge for them…), so exploring that curve today.
Stay well everyone!
Anon in Boston
Overwhelmed. Things actively swirling in my head:
1) Sister is a nurse in a downtown hospital with a 4-month-old and 3 year old. Infant had a nasty RSV battle he’s still recovering from. How can I help them and still keep my family safe.
2) My 22 month old is still going to daycare. Am I being selfish? Why didn’t they close? They’re a national chain; I should trust them.. right? No. Maybe?
3) We’re in the midst of fertility treatments, actively taking medication for an upcoming IUI. I have to go into MGH in Boston for my appointments 2-4x/ week for the next week. This has been a BATTLE getting this far. I’m negotiating with myself at all times if this is the dumbest thing or not. Dr is going forward with all actively cycling cases but cancelling planned cycling to free up supplies and infrastructure. I can trust they’d cancel if we really needed to? Again, am I being selfish?
4) The stock market crashing means I’m probably not going to make any money until September at best as I’m 100% commission based.
5) I’m grateful I have the resources I do, the space in my home that I have, that I know we will all survive. I keep reminding myself that people have it so way worse off than me….. which sometimes helps my spiraling, and sometimes does not.
And, FWIW, no anxiety or anything else in my past. This is just a LOT, and feels like a new normal so I better just adjust.
Anonymous
I’m debating the same on #2. Are you at bright horizons?
Anon in Boston
KinderCare. She’s there today but we are rethinking tomorrow/rest of week. Honestly, I’m hoping they make the decision for us; one less things.
Piper Dreamer
I am keeping my kiddo home from daycare even though it is technically still open. I don’t trust toddlers to enforce social distancing and the fact that young kids can be without symptoms but somehow still carry the virus scares me. That being said, I am having our backup nanny come 5 hours a day until nap time. That gets me and my husband a solid 7 hour work time each day.
Anonymous
I’m in MA and all he drs appts we had scheduled for the next 3 weeks have cancelled. My daughter has GI issues and even her f/up was bumped. Maybe IVF is different bc of the sensitivity of timing. Fingers crossed for you.
I wouldn’t send the kids to daycare. They should be closing but aren’t because they want to be a safety net. My older 2 are already home so we kept my daycare age kid home too. I spoke with the director and they are hoping most people elect to stay home so they can watch the kids of those that literally have no other option- we have several families in ours with a nurse or doctor parent.
Boston Legal Eagle
“I spoke with the director and they are hoping most people elect to stay home so they can watch the kids of those that literally have no other option- we have several families in ours with a nurse or doctor parent.” This was our reasoning – I definitely understand daycares’ reasoning of staying open so those essential workers can get to work, but my husband and I don’t need to at the moment so chose to keep the kids home.
CHS
Agreed – I know this is the case with Bright Horizons in our area. They are the #1 care provider for our local healthcare workforce, and play a vital role in allowing those people to go to work. I wouldn’t take their being open as a sign that everyone should send their kids there (but understand the conflicting feelings of whether to do so or not).
Anonymous
I’m 6 months pregnant and will be super interested to see what MGH does about routine OB appointments. So far I haven’t heard anything about delaying visits.
Anon
My routine visits have continued (I’m 17 weeks), but not sure in coming weeks whether they will be delayed…
Anon
I would trust that your doctor would cancel your active cycle if they felt they should. I don’t think you are being selfish – good luck to you!
Anonymous
Thank you for the smile first thing in the morning.
Working from home with both kids at home – trying to figure out how to combine the 1st and 4th grade math assignments so that I can get an uninterrupted 15 minute block. Not going so well! We just moved in December, so we still haven’t found some non-essential stuff like graph paper. Maybe this will go better in a few weeks? Or will I just have given up and put them in front of a screen?
Anonymous
I completely capitulated to the screen time but I’m a horribly lazy parent and person. I have my 4 year old grandson and my 11 year old son. We’re going to take walks 1x per day but I need to work and I don’t have time to be creative with activities.
Anonymous
We are having a teacher workday so that they can craft 2 weeks of homework (although one was supposed to be our spring break). Which could be fine, but I have 2 kids and one home computer. And I can WFH, but not if I am also homeschooling on the fly. My kids will read on their own and I feel like in a crisis, that should be adequate. I’ve also had them write one letter to distant grandparents / relatives each day just b/c I think we won’t be visiting them over break or for a while.
Not that Anne, the other Anne
Thanks for putting up a check-in post! Half the office is WFH, but I volunteered not to be because my spouse is essential personnel at their job and we commute together. I was supposed to be leaving on a business trip in about three hours, but my destination cancelled all meetings and gatherings, so instead I’m here. Yesterday’s church service was virtual, so that was interesting.
Since I’m a scientist, I’ve been doing a lot of talking to people who do not have a science background about this. At every conversation I point out I’m not an epidemiologist or microbiologist, but in their defense (and my own) I also have more of an understanding of microbiology and population ecology than someone without a science background. And what I’ve been telling people is this: Don’t panic. Stay home. Wash your hands.
anon
Very stressed. My husband is a doctor in the ICU and has multiple COVID patients. He’s being very careful and luckily his hospital hasn’t run out of protective equipment like many places have, but I’m still worried about potential exposure. Based off what he’s seeing it is a lot worse today than the media suggests and is going to get a lot worse than most people realize. It’s making me so angry to see people in lines at bars, out at restaurants, friends posting on social media out living their lives. Thank you to all the readers here who are taking it seriously.
Anonymous
I tried to point out on my local internet page that this disease is hitting young people as well (in my immediate area all cases are in subjects < 50.) NOBODY wants to hear it, lots of snarky comments about "Boomer remover" and that only elderly people die. I'm not personally invested in being right but it's interesting to see the ridicule and pushback on this. People really think they are just going to inherit their parents' house and that's going to be the only effect on their lives. I'm just trying to get people not to make dangerous assumptions and I feel like Cassandra right now.
Anon
Are you going to continue to stay connected to people who are as cruel and heartless as to say “boomer remover?” I can’t imagine wanting someone like that in my life or on my news feed. I’m glad I made it this far through the crisis without seeing that phrase until just now.
Anonymous
I do sort of an unofficial news roundup so that’s how I’m even involved. It’s a disgusting phrase but not everyone that posts there is like that, I think? I don’t know, should I try to keep informing people of local goings on or just leave them to their ignorance?
Anon
It sounds like you are a helpful poster so maybe you can help them see the light, but man, how depressing and cruel.
Anonymous
It is depressing. and I don’t feel like arguing with them so I’m just going to leave them to it. They are thinking only younger people with pre-existing conditions are at risk, and that’s not what I’ve been reading but I’m too demoralized to try to argue with them. I don’t feel like googling it just to have the warnings fall on deaf ears. I am seeing people dying from pneumonia that had no risk factors, dying from heart failure, and there’s that one Chinese study that is seeing fertility problems in recovered patients. I don’t want to fear monger and I’m not these people’s mom… It’s just frustrating to see people NOT CARE.
whew thanks for letting me vent, I am not doing anything compared to everyone on the front line but i sympathize with people who are frustrated that their warnings are not heeded.
Anonymous
I honestly think all the doctors need to start talking about how bad it is on their social media so people get the picture (obviously without patients details/other hipaa issues, just we have X patients, we are running out of protective equipment in Y days). I have a bunch of doctor friends I’ve been in a giant text conversation with about how bad it is (one is at a large specialty hospital in a major city that is predicting they will be out of protective equipment by next week; because they are specialty, they don’t usually keep as much on hand as general hospitals), but no one saying a word on facebook. I get the sense no one wants their hospital to look unprepared/overwhelmed but maybe it would make people start taking this seriously.
Anonymous
I work with the travel and tourism industry. I worked all weekend on COVID matters and am trying not to burn out, because this is a marathon and not a sprint. Just hopeful the travel industry will remains when the dust settles.
Anonymous
Day 1 of both husband and I working from home. We disagree on whether the overhead light in the shared office will be off or on during the day. Have a feeling it’s going to be a long few months, though at least we are lucky enough to have jobs we can do remotely.
Ellen
That is the negative for having your DH or Boyfreind around 24/7. When I was dating, I thought it was a luxury to get away from him for 8 hours / day when I went to work and he continued to layaround my apartement all day, other then going out for a walk, or to get something to eat or drink. When i did get home I had to deal with his needyness and had to baby him as if he could not do anything w/o me, even tho he knew how to. So when I did get rid of him, I had some peace and quiet at home (other then the noise coming from the manageing partner’s brother’s apartement next door). I really don’t miss any of that. What I do miss is my ability to go out and get stuff to eat or shop. Dad says I must stay in until the manageing partner says i can travel home to LI with him, and Dad will come get me. I do NOT think that will be fun either, with so many people there. I worry about Grandma Leyeh and Trudy, as they are both well over 80 years old and I would cry if I found out that I came home with the virus and they got it from me. Fortunately, I have not had any man intimateley in my life for months and I don’t miss any of that, including any exchange of bodily fluids that could give rise to the Corona Virus. Until this week, lots of young people went out to the bars, and exchanged bodily fluids, so who knows what’s going to happen in the next month or so. So I just wish everyone well and I will check in regularly now that I am all hold up in my apartement. Dad says I should use the treadmill for 1 hour a day, which i did, but that is BORING, even with the TV. FOOEY on that!
Anon
My boss is still resistant to closing the office because she is a work from home hater, but at least she has allowed it for some of us (with strings). I had to cancel a vacation due to all the ski resorts closing but I’m glad that the step was taken for the benefit of public health. I also think that we’ve had a turning point where “young and healthy” people are starting to pay attention. That feels nice because I have felt invisible as an immunocompromised person – and I’m still better off than many.
Vicky Austin
My state called school closure last night. My hometown school district, where my mom works, is closed today, open again tomorrow, and then closed indefinitely. (Not sure what the point of Tuesday is, but that district has never been logical.) My grandmother just celebrated her 92nd birthday and I’m hoping to hell that my 60+ aunt, who lives with my grandmother and sometimes takes care of her own preschool-age grandkids, is being as careful as she should be. No one should make it to 92 only to die of stupidity.
I’m at work today and hanging in there. My husband is all but on the front lines, most of the people around me are overwhelmed, and I’m just sitting here like “welp, guess those audit entries can wait.” Trying to help where I can. I don’t foresee being asked to work from home yet.
Anon
Thank you for asking. Very stressed-not sure how to care for a two-year old who is very set on routine but who will now be out of daycare for at least two weeks, while my husband and I work from home. Also angry at my single coworkers who have not checked in, asked if they can help, if I’m okay, etc., and instead are complaining about how they ate all the food snacks. I get that they are having their own struggles and are lonely but it’s not cool.
Anonymous
Assume good intentions re co-workers. They may have their own crosses to bear.
Anon
+1. I get the frustration, I really do, but I’ve had to remind myself that others are going through their own issues that I’m not privy to.
Anonymous
No stop. What are your single coworkers supposed to do to help you? This is hard for all of us, don’t blame them for living their lives too.
Anonymous
I have two kids and I am probably pretty skilled at sudden shut-in-ness and having to WFH for extended periods in subpar conditions due to kids suddenly getting sick and feverish and vomiting, etc. If anything, I’d be worried about the single and childless coworkers who don’t have workarounds for their workarounds (like I have an inverter in my car b/c if we are stuck at home with sick kids, the power will also go out).
Anon
I think anyone who is taking the social distancing advice seriously (which should be everyone!) wouldn’t volunteer to help watch your 2 year old. I don’t understand being angry about single people about this.
pink
+1
Literally don’t understand this comment about single coworkers…. :/
Anonymous
Sorry, but your single coworkers might have elderly family members, etc. to take care of, in addition to taking care of themselves without any help. (I.e. there’s only one person to get groceries, go to the store, walk the dog, cook the food, etc.) They don’t owe you their time, nor is their time less important than yours.
Anonymous
And the flip of this is that it doesn’t seem like you have extended them the same grace. This is hard for a lot of people right now and, as many others before me have pointed out, you don’t know what they have going on behind the scenes. Perhaps posting about snack food is their way of coping with this and remember, they are not posting AT you. Everyone deals with stress and “dark days” in different ways. The best way for all of us to act is with kindness, to EVERYONE.
Nudibranch
The day my partnered w/children co-workers check in on me is the day I’d assume they’d want me checking on them. Seriously? Why would you expect them to?
Anonymous
MA. Everything closed. Bars/restaurants are takeout only. No gatherings of more than 25 people.
State closure of schools until at least 3/7. Boston is closed through 4/27 and we have spring break 4/20-4/27 so something tells me we will stay closed through 4/27.
I have a kindergartener and two younger ones. I told my daughter this is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime thing and encouraged her to start a journal. It feels apocalyptic around here. Everything we normally do: dance class, tennis lessons, soccer, gymnastics, swim at our pool, go to the library of museum- it’s all closed.
We’ve played a lot outside, which is nice.
CountC
I am doing completely fine, so am trying to be the best community member I can for others who are not. I am single, able to easily wfh, and generally my life has not been affected. I am staying home, and am doing things for the community that I hope will be helpful while not physically exposing anyone to my potential germs.
Is it Friday yet?
My climbing gym and the ski resort where I have a season pass both closed on Saturday, so that was a dark day for me.
All the bars and clubs are closed, restaurants are take out only, schools are closed, there are confirmed cases in my immediate area, and yet I am still not allowed to work from home. I work for a major health system (and could easily do my entire job at home), we have confirmed cases at our hospitals, and yet everyone is expected to show up at corporate. :(
Also, my 72 year old dad is in Iceland right now (in a remote area, where he’s presumably safer), but he’s supposed to fly home this week and I’m really concerned about him being exposed in the airport (did everyone see that INSANE picture from O’Hare), assuming he can actually get a flight.
After a rough couple of years, I’ve finally been feeling better mentally recently – and suddenly as of last week the constant state of anxiety and dread has returned. Uuuuggghhhh.
Anon
Can he just stay there? Is he skiing? I had to cancel my ski trip here but I do feel like skiing in a remote area is probably one of the less risky things you can do. He is probably better off there for a few more weeks.
Alanna of Trebond
He should fly back through Ottawa. They have customs screening there and then he can take a domestic flight back to the US.
A
I think flights from outside Canada and US are being rerouted to Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver and Calgary according to our PM Justin Trudeau to screen passengers for illness
Anon
Agree, he might be better staying in Iceland which has a much smaller population and is doing a lot better about reigning in this thing. He should be able to stay there for up to three months without additional visa, but another three or four weeks should be enough for the airports to catch up on the spacing issues and for air traffic to be commensurately lighter.
Is it Friday yet?
I have suggested this, he hasn’t texted me back (he’s probably skiing right now). I know his original flight home has been cancelled, but he could fly via JFK I guess (but I assume JFK is a giant disease vector at this point). On Friday he texted to tell me how great the skiing was and said if the coronavirus gets him, “at least he went out in style”. Like, that’s the opposite of comforting, but thanks.
Anon
Ha, silver lining? I’d definitely avoid traveling right now and if he HAS to for some other reason, he shouldn’t go without a well-fitting N95 mask or two. Those O’Hare pictures were terrifying.
pink
on the plus side, if he has the funds and the flexibility, iceland is an awesome place to be stranded! (one of my favorite places!)
anon
I feel more anxious than I expected, even though I’m not in a high-risk group. I’m not worried about getting sick; I am worried about the overall impact on the community. I’m working from home with my school-age kiddo this week. Younger kid is at daycare. I don’t know if that’s the right call but there is no way I’d get anything done with her around, so that’s what I’m doing for now. :(
Housecounsel
We are awaiting test results for my daughter. We scrambled to get her out of Spain last Thursday. FYI she breezed through customs – no questions, no screening, no instructions. Saturday, we got word that one of her Spain professors had corona and then yesterday, confirmation that two of her classmates do. We called my PCP, and then the state department of public health. We were instructed to get her tested although she had cold symptoms only and no fever. At the ER, they wouldn’t let me in with her and in fact made me leave the hospital. We were shocked that she had a 100.5 fever in the ER. They took the swab and we are awaiting a call. We are all staying in, of course. She is young and strong and I know she (and the rest of us) will be ok even if the test is positive, but I am just so angry at all the people not taking this seriously. It is real.
Anon
Wow, I was thinking about your daughter after seeing the news about Spain going into lockdown. Sounds like you’re doing everything you can and please keep us posted. Best of luck to you <3
Anonymous
Ugh, thinking of you guys.
anony
I appreciate this nice post.
I’m stressed…. mostly because of the panic buying which is now making it impossible to get routine medical/cleaning supplies for my elderly and immunocompromised parent who needs them today for survival. When I went to Costco last week many things that I restock for him every month were gone. He has very complicated medical equipment/needs and it is essential for him to have gloves/antibacterial swabs/alcohol swabs/clorox wipes etc… and all of these things were gone. I couldn’t even buy any distilled water that he needs in his medical equipment because people were buying it for ????drinking????
There are people who are ill and sick now who need these things now to prevent a serious bacterial infection today and to live. Please please people…. if you know of elderly/sick/disabled people in your family or neighborhood, please save the critical supplies for the people who need it. These are traditionally not covered by insurance, we have to buy out of pocket, and all of my traditional online suppliers are also out of stock.
I have enough for a couple weeks, but will run out of Clorox wipes this week. I haven’t told my parent yet.
Anon
Are you the one who has a father doing infusions? I do them too and I get medical supplies directly from the pharmacy included in my infusion shipments – is that not an option for him? Sorry you’re going through this.
Panda Bear
+1 The selfishness of hoarding these supplies if you don’t have an acute need for them is infuriating!
Anon
I wonder if you could put out a call on social media/nextdoor/etc for supplies. People who bought a case of Clorox wipes may be ashamed and so willing to give you half the case if you explain that you HAVE to have them, life or death. Still terrible, and you should not have to beg for supplies but right now I’m not sure what else you could do.
Anon
If there’s any SmartWater available, it’s distilled and can be used.
Another caregiver of fragile parents
Clorox wipes are a convenience product. Bleach is still available pretty widely and I live in Seattle, aka COVID central. Maybe look elsewhere from the big box stores that cater to people with hoarder tendencies. Buy bleach, dilute as necessary and make your own disinfecting wipes. I know it is not perfect but better prepare to improvise as I do not foresee wipes being made available again before April.
Anon
I am in the Bay Area. We didn’t stock buy extra wipes but just have them from our regular home supply. I can give a couple of containers if needed. Sadly, I also have some masks left over from fire season. I can provide those as well if needed.
Anon
I can also send a bottle of Clorox wipes, I had extra before this started and my aunt gave me more she had (I’m high risk). Lmk an email address and I’ll reach out.
Anony
Thanks so much for your kind responses and for letting me vent. Our local hardware store is actually going to help me this week, and will call me when they get their order in. There is something great about being loyal to your local family owned hardware store rather than going to Home Depot! I have lots of bleach and use this whenever I can.
If only there was an easy way to be alerted when stuff comes back in stock online for the various medical supplies.
Housecounsel
I must mention one tiny silver lining. How happy are the nation’s pets right now? I almost always work from home but my cats are loving having the kids around 24/7.
anonnn
yep. my dogs are loving this. and I’m grateful to have them too.
Anonymous
My dog is HATING this and just wants to sleep in peace.
Anonymous
My dog is like “What is wrong with you, humans? You are not supposed to be here in the middle of the day with those evil things you call laptops and cell phones. I will hide in the other room until it is time for you to be home and you put those awful devices away.”
puppylover
I discovered my dog spends the morning looking through a front window monitoring drop-off at the elementary school across the street.
Ellen
As long as he does not drop anything on the carpet you should be fine. My dad got very mad when Rosa left her dog at his home and made a huge mess on his white rug, then tracked it everywhere around the house. FOOEY!
Anon
Anxious. I’m in Seattle, and it all feels like too much. I’m high-risk, and I’ve been WFH since the 4th. I’m still going out to walk the dog around the block a few times a day and have been getting a latte at the coffee shop a half-block away because I want them to stay open, but that’s about it. I’m worried about getting sick myself, even with social distancing, I’m worried about how long this is going to last, and I usually reassure myself by looking at data, of which not enough exists here and what does is stressful AF.
Also, my dog is not great company who doesn’t appreciate the “work” part of WFH.
My organization is allowing, but not requiring or even strongly encouraging, people to WFH and they can’t get it together to make it work. They keep repeating that we aren’t set up to work virtually and it’s so hard and that’s not our normal set up. Yes, I’m aware we aren’t a virtual law firm, but we also don’t usually have a pandemic outside our doors…We’ve been having weekly Skype meetings about it and the person leading the meetings somehow creates more stress and panic than reassurance. “Of course, it would be our last resort to let someone go if they don’t have any sick time….” WHY SAY THAT.
I’m terrified that my family, who lives in an area of the state that isn’t as strongly hit…yet….is going to get it. My dad is high-risk but won’t put himself into that category because he’s stubborn and refuses to acknowledge that he’s a 45 year smoker with early COPD, and both my grandparents (especially my grandma) are high-risk. So I’m just generally super stressed.
As a side note, Kat, can my email please be added so that it doesn’t go to mod every time?
Anon
Is anyone else having trouble with their remote meeting software? We’ve had outages with our regional conference call line, WebEx, and GoToMeeting. I’m guessing there’s some overload.
Anon
GoToMeeting was almost non-functional on Friday for me.
Anonymous
Teams seems to be out globally.
Anon100
Spent 15 minutes trying to call in/get audio for a WebEx meeting that only lasted 20 minutes…
Anonymous
I’m currently working on postponing my wedding that was set for the end of April. I know it’s the right thing to do, and I would never want to be responsible for for exposing anyone to the virus. I’m still really disappointed after all the work, money and planning that has gone into this :(
Senior Attorney
Oh, big virtual hugs to you! What a crushing disappointment!!
Anon
you have every right to be disappointed. i would be devastated as well. if there is a way to still get married legally you could consider doing that for the time being, or just waiting. i am so so sorry for you and your fiance and all the others in the same boat
Horse Crazy
My BFF just postponed her early May wedding until next August…so sad! Sending hugs.
Senior Attorney
My government office is still open although we sent all the clients home and will continue to do so until we close, which seems inevitable (my guess is by Wednesday). I am beyond disappointed with our management by not getting out ahead of this and I am rattling as many cages as I can to get them to see the light and shut down.
Other than that we had a fun productive weekend of baking bread and cleaning out the garage — my car is in there for the first time since I moved in when we got married three and a half years ago! Yay!! Bad news is all gyms have been shut down so we are taking long walks and I’m trying to find Richard Simmons videos from back in the day on YouTube.
DCR
I know this is such a little thing and I don’t feel like I can vent about it in real life, so I’m going to do it here. I’m in one of the high risk categories and live alone, so I’m self isolating with the exception of a few friends who live together and are also basically self isolating. I’m an extrovert, so it’s really hard on that front. But in addition, I just started dating a guy I’m really interested in and really like and feel like may be the one. But now I don’t know when we’re gonna be able to see each other again and that’s really hard for me right now.
Senior Attorney
Oh, man, that’s not a little thing at all! That’s a big thing!!
Maybe the two of you can have a virtual date? Drink wine and watch a movie on your respective TVs or something?
Anonymous
Good idea! I used to work for the state department and lots of separated couples did this!
LaurenB
Pretty dress, btw. Here’s the thing … am not a big online shopper in general, typically only for things I can’t physically buy in a store. But is it being part of the problem to order from Amazon, etc at this time? I can’t help but feel that yeah, ok, I get to stay home where it’s safe, but the poor folks in the warehouses, drivers, etc. are being exposed. OTOH, that’s their livelihood. Thoughts on online shopping at this time (for other than necessities that one is unable to obtain in person)?
Mel
Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems like a delivery driver is much less at risk than a cashier at a physical store who has to personally interact within 6 feet of strangers. Delivery drivers pull up to my house, drop off the package and leave. I never have hand to hand contact unless I happen to be outside when they come—and I think they’re in a better position to politely decline contact than a cashier.
On the other hand, I’m taking a hard look whether companies offer paid sick leave (thank you Costco) and given their history, I highly doubt Amazon actually gives this benefit to most “employees” (especially since they evade responsibility by using so many contractors). For that and other reasons, I try to keep my Amazon purchases to a minimum.
Panda Bear
I’ve been asking myself the same question. Not sure what is the right thing to do. I agree that for folks with jobs that don’t allow them to work from home like delivery staff, I don’t want to contribute to their lack of job security by not patronizing their services… but I also worry that they will be overwhelmed and overworked since so many of us can’t/sensibly don’t want to go out in person. Ugh.
no
I’ve been wondering the same about take-out and food delivery. Do we order to give them job security (and huge tips) or not order to reduce need and hope they get to stay home and safe?
Anon
They desperately need the money. The businesses to stay in business (I don’t mean closing just for this – I mean businesses going out of business) and the workers to keep a roof over the head and the lights on.
Anon
You can also remotely buy gift cards so they have the cash now but use them later.
Anon
I’m honestly kind of worried about doing this (gift cards) in the case that the restaurant DOES go out of business. I want to help, but also don’t have money to throw away. :(
Anon
Gift cards don’t actually help; the restaurant cannot book the revenue until the gift card is spent. It does help them to know that they have revenue coming in the door, but they cannot book it.
(Accountants, please ensure that this is correct.)
NY CPA
While they can’t book the revenue until you use the card, buying a GC increases the cash flow, which is the issue for most of these small businesses right now. Can’t send cash out (i.e. payroll) if you dont have cash in (through sales of goods/services or gift cards).
Coach Laura
Not an expert accountant but I thought that the GC does get credited to sales but then on the Balance Sheet an identical liability is posted. So it would help with sales while only having a small liability effect. But would like CPA Lady or someone to chime in.
Vicky Austin
I’m also wondering about this. I think I’d rather live with the fact that we’re all going to struggle financially for a few weeks here, than the guilt of possibly exposing people by adding to demand. But it’s a really tough call.
cbackson
I think that at this point continuing to put cash into the economy through purchasing is critical and if online shopping and delivery services are the way to do it, we should. Without at all minimizing the health impacts of COVID-19 (my 74-year-old parents have been exposed and are in self-quarantine and a former co-worker died of COVID-19 last week), for many Americans the economic impact may be worse. Since right now, those people don’t have any assurance that they’ll be paid if not working, I think we have to try to give them at least the ability to choose to keep earning right now.
A driver's wife
Thank you for thinking of those in the package delivery industries. My husband is a driver for one of the big companies that everyone knows, and there has been zero communication from the powers that be related to Covid-19. To be fair, he doesn’t work on Mondays so maybe something was communicated this morning, but as of now it is definitely business as usual, and he expects to be in hell for the next few months because of the increased orders. A lot of deliveries are essential, of course, like daily medicine, but a lot of them aren’t, and a lot of things weigh a great deal as well, so the job is very physically demanding. You need to deliver every last thing on your truck before you can go home — there’s no real “quitting time” or “it can wait until tomorrow.” And yet, if you don’t deliver everything within a certain timeframe likely established by some algorithm, you get flak from your supervisor, who gets flak from their supervisor, etc., for not meeting goal numbers.
Drivers don’t always have access to restrooms to wash hands frequently, and pretty soon he is going to run out of the wipes and sanitizer he currently has, with no way to replenish because it’s all sold out. Wearing gloves is possible but he is still breathing in all the germs when he’s in the back of the truck getting boxes.
A driver's wife
Sorry for the duplicate comment below, everyone…
Anonymous
I am thinking this too – do I order several bags of pet food from Chewy? Or just go to a PetSmart before they close altogether? Either way someone is having to work.
Wendy
Not to be That Person and feel free to completely ignore me, but if there is any small business that sells pet food, you might consider supporting them rather than the national chains at this time even if their product is more expensive. Big chains are better able to absorb the risks of downturns like this while local retailers are going to be struggling mightily.
Anonymous
Good idea! -OP
Anon
Very reasonably stated, Wendy.
Anon
I want to put cash into the economy, but not in Amazon’s coffers. The problem is I’ve been too nervous to go out to eat at local businesses/get coffee/etc. because of the lack of sick time most hourly workers are dealing with. I’m in a high-risk category and it feels like an unnecessary risk. If I had any services (like scheduled haircuts or a house cleaner), I’d cancel but pay anyway.
Anon
Some restaurants (Noodles & Company comes to mind) have implemented paid sick leave for their employees. IMHO, a good way to thank them for doing so is to order from their businesses.
anon
Donate to your local food bank.
Wendy
+100.
Work from home attirr
This is a frivolous question but why not — does anyone have suggestions for work from home clothes, particularly pants? Obviously it doesn’t really matter what I wear but I’m looking for something comfy that feels a little bit more put together than sweatpants/leggings.
Anon
We’re supposed to wear pants?
Anon
Ha ha.
Junior Associate
Betabrand Dress Pant Yoga Pants? Bit pricy so I reserve them for the office, but comfy and put together at the same time if you want it.
Anon
Poshmark! Got a pair in my size for $30 last week.
2nd to Betabrand.
anonymous
I find ponte knit pants are pretty comfy.
Katie
Athleta has some options that I like for the inbetween mode. Not quite athleisure but put together casual.
AnonATL
I wfh full-time even before all this happened. I definitely wear a lot of ponte pants and other structured activewear pants with stretchier waistbands (think the Athleta Skyline style pant). Non-skinny jeans are also very comfy in my opinion. Anything with a real waistband makes me feel like a proper adult.
Anon
I learned about these bad boys through this site. I can’t remember if it was an official Kat post or a comment. They are life-changing.
https://www.amazon.com/Signature-Levi-Strauss-Totally-Shaping/dp/B01H3EEMJK/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1QFS69TTVHLJF&dchild=1&keywords=levis+signature+pull+on+skinny+jeans+women&qid=1584374959&sprefix=levis+si%2Caps%2C166&sr=8-4
Wendy
I’m wearing jeans. I got up and showered before starting my work day at my usual time of 8 a.m. Only difference from my office look is no makeup/high ponytail + smart casual tank top instead of a shirt with sleeves.
kk
I’ve been wearing that giant freepeople sweater that Abra posted about all winter with leggings and ugg boots.
Fluffy Q -- paint brands
We are doing a lot of painting. Painter likes SW paint and gets a huge discount there. We like BM paint colors (and from before in a different house: paint types). I know that paint companies say they can match other companies’ colors. But for repainting, doing a SW version of BM, might something be a bit different with the formulation (if not exact color), such that a true match is not really going to happen? I am thinking of just paying extra for BM just so we can go into any BM store and ask for the BM color / paint type and know it will match.
Hype? Marketing? I feel a bit caught in the crossfire and conservative enough to believe that it costs less and is less frustrating to pay more up front and then you don’t waste time/labor/materials over the life of the time you are in your house.
The original Scarlett
I don’t think the matching works, I think you can get close (I’ve found allllmmmmooosssttt dupes for Farrow and Ball at BM, but the depth just isn’t there in the same way). I’d insist on your preferred brand. FWIW, the only pushback I get from my painters is it costs more because they don’t get their discount.
Veronica Mars
I’d stick to your guns and do BM. We worked out a deal with the painters (who preferred SW) where we only paid them for labor and we went to BM and bought the paint ourselves (our local store is very nice and they give us the full contractor discount even though we’re just regular people). It also gave us peace of mind that we got exactly the formula of paint we wanted, no cutting corners on a less expensive version, etc.
Anon
Are you trying to match, say, one wall that painted in years-old BM paint and paint a different wall new SW paint? That wouldn’t work even with BM to BM because paint ages. But if you’re just trying to repaint a whole room with the same color for a refresh, yes, colormatching works. We mere mortals can’t tell. I’ve painted a million rooms (I really like Home Depot’s Behr Premium Plus Ultra when I’m doing the painting) and have paint matched BM, SW, F&B, Lowe’s, you name it, and they all come out great.
(Re: PP and F&B: F&B is a different animal because it’s $100/gal British paint. I have no doubt their base paint is made of unicorn tears. But for us normal people, any of the nice paints from the major brands will work.)
anon
Honestly, I think the BM paint is mostly hype when compared to SW or Home Depot’s or Lowe’s premium brands. I’ve used both BM and SW, and with good painters, I couldn’t tell the difference in the finished product.
Anon
The matches are pretty good, tbh. I have BM, F&B, and SW matches and I’ve switched over to SW. You’re not going to notice. BM paint is kind of terrible. People rave about F&B and insist “it changes color in the light” and all that, but so does all other paint. The SW matches I have look just as nice as the $$$ F&B I have. I think the only advantage to F&B is that they have flatter sheens, which can matter if you have an old house with uneven walls and woodwork.
Mpls
Slightly off-topic, but personally – I always thought the flat paint for uneven walls advice was dumb. That’s mostly because I hate the way flat paint feels to the touch (shudder), but it’s also just not cleanable. You have to paint to cover scuffs.
But also – you aren’t fooling anyone with the flat paint – you can still tell if there are issues with the wall. The sheen from a satin paint is not going to unduly highlight those unsurprising flaws (it’s an old house – you’re embracing the uniqueness, right?). And the benefits of cleaning outweigh the horror of a not-perfectly flat wall.
Anonymous
How is your workplace dealing with exposed employees who are required to come to work? Since there are no health workers or first responders in my office, we do not receive protective gear and there is no sanitation being done. Exposed workers are not being given sick time. Sick time is given only to those who test positive.
I can’t be the only one having to endure such a situation.
What??
Are you talking about known exposure to someone with confirmed to have the virus? If so, that is absolutely NOT normal for them to come to work.
Anonymous
That is exactly what I am talking about. No it’s not normal. It’s horrifying. Worst thing is that I am one of a few in my workplace that are concerned about this.
anon
That’s horrifying. We changed our sick policy to clarify that quarantine counts for sick leave (because who would have thought to include it before) and added enough sick days to ride out a quarantine and a long illness at full pay if the employee is also making use of state disability insurance.
We’re a small nonprofit and this could be painful financially, but it’s the right thing to do.
Does your state have mandatory paid sick leave and has your state issued guidance on this?
Anonymous
Honestly, do you really have direct knowledge that people have been exposed? Vs someone was in an airport or building where someone may have been sick and gone through? Hipaa still exists.
Anon
I think honestly you should notify a governing body or person about this situation. It is that big of a deal. Hopefully anonymously.
Anondc
Agreed. Or at the very least call your local news station anonymously and call them out if you can. People are so heartless.
Anon
I would report to the media, governing bodies, and if nothing changes, quit. This is insane.
Anon
+1. Tip-off to the local media would be my first move. Naming and shaming on social media would be my second.
Anon
Call your local Board of Health. Immediately.
Anonymous
My biglaw firm’s most recent COVID-19 policy, as of last night is: “casual Friday attire until further notice!”. We have offices in NYC, Seattle, San Fran, Chicago, among about 40 other places. No WFH. No office closures. I am so livid right now.
Anonymous
My law firm has no WFH, no relaxed dress code. No exceptions.
anonymous
Does casual Friday attire mean wearing a biohazard suit?
Anon
As a possible client, I want to know who these firms are because that is so gross to put society at risk like that and I don’t want to use them. I think it’s time for some public shaming of these employers.
Anonymous
You are totally right. My office expects us to conduct business as usual with closed courts and no one outside of the office willing to come here for meetings, depositions, etc.
Anon
+1. Would a blog like Above the Law publish that? Is it even still around anymore?
Anonymous
I would not be surprised. It’s egregious.
Anon
It is still around and based on recent posts, they would publish it.
Quail
Above the law has a chart listing each firm’s responses. I went there to find the link, and saw this…so, maybe OP should leave this printed on someone’s chair?
https://abovethelaw.com/2020/03/biglaw-firm-closes-offices-after-employee-dies-enacts-work-from-home-policy/
Anonymous
We have definitely had clients ask about our capability to work remotely and contingency plans, which I assume is also a subtle way to ask “wtf are you doing about this?” For what it’s worth, my large (but not biglaw as we’re regional) firm told everyone who can to work remotely (which is pretty much everyone, including our assistants) to do so for the foreseeable future and to come get whatever office supplies from the office that you need to do that. We’re staffing offices with a skeleton crew, and our state courts are mostly shut down or telephonic for anything that can be delayed, so I can’t anticipate a whole lot happening in person.
back to biglaw
above the law has a handy tracker for big law (not posting link to avoid mod, but go to above the law and it’s prominently featured)
Anonymous
If you have Ma offices it should be closed. Unless it’s <25 people it’s in violation of the new rule.
Or so say DH and my companies, which both closed offices officially last night. All WFH except if someone has to be physically in the office to do something like reset a server. But otherwise it’s closed.
BB
As someone who never worked in law, this is amazing to me. Law always seemed like one of those jobs that could easily transfer to WFH. Sure, like a lot of white collar jobs, the in-person interaction is useful, but temporary WFH seems like it should be easy? Guessing it’s a semi-toxic culture thing?
OP
Yup. We are 100% set up to WFH. It’s because leadership tend to be old white men who are resistant to WFH, reliant on their secretaries and paper, watch Fox News and think this is “just the flu” etc. I’m stereotyping but this is specifically true of the leadership at my firm, for sure.
Anon
They don’t want to go home because their kids are out of school.
anon
Ding ding ding!
Anon
I used to work as a paralegal at a medium-sized firm and they expected me to come in to the office while the city of Boston was on lockdown several days after the Boston marathon bombing. We could have 100% done our work from home. Yes, it’s often pretty toxic.
Anonymous
Same. Biglaw in Toronto. My office hasn’t said anyone can WFH yet (and in fact an IT email went out saying that our remote access systems can’t handle everyone WFH and won’t be able to until the end of the week). Despite our courts also being closed, partners are still acting as if everything is urgent. Extremely frustrating as an associate trying to follow government directives but also instructions from partners when those instructions are in confluct.
Never too many shoes...
Sorry to hear that. I am so glad sometimes that I work In a smaller environment. We have a paperless office already and can generally work from home whenever we want anyway. As a litigator l guess closed courts is a chance to get
caught up on reports.
Alanna of Trebond
My BigLaw firm has moved to near-mandatory work from home, which makes me believe that all of the other top firms have implemented the same policy.
anon
Same. Top 3 firm and over the weekend it went from “you can WFH if you prefer” to “we encourage WFH” to, from my practice group leader, “do not come in under any but the most extraordinary circumstances.”
NYCer
+1. I can’t believe any firm hasn’t moved to this!
Ellen
How strange. My law firm is small, but to the extent possible, we all are WFH. The manageing partner says as long as we can WFH and BFH, we can do so. Even the judge has given all of us continuances on everything as he is over 70 and he told me it is not worth it getting the virus is worth it to handle WC cases. He says it would be different if he was still doing criminal cases, but even there, he says that they get three square meals a day and should not complain, as it is worse on the outside for them anyway.
Anonymous
This has got to be Lewis Brisbois! Apparently they also have told staff (whom do not have firm laptops and would have to use personal computers to WFH) that if they don’t have the ability to WFH and don’t feel comfortable coming in that it will be taken from their PTO. Hope they have 8+ weeks PTO because I think that is where this is headed.
Anon
Question for the lawyers here, will people be able to sue if their workplaces offer no accommodations during this crisis or no response at all? It seems to me that there should be enormous liability for doing nothing when there are state and national guidelines being published almost daily.
Anonymous
Sure, you can sue. The grievance industry exists for that. But I don’t think you’d win anything unless you are a healthcare worker not being given a mask or maybe a prison worker who gets sick and has a loss beyond “worry”.
Anon
What if you work in big law as described above and their only response is “casual Friday”, but then you get sick from a colleague or something?
Anonymous
Nope
Anonymous
I think you have a proof problem against your firm and also against your coworker.
Anonymous
You can always sue but they aren’t required to do much of anything. Remember, they could just lay off their work force and close.
Diana Barry
So I have a really first world issue – I need to refill my tretinoin prescription but it is “too old” for a refill without going in (which I am not doing!). Does curology do prescription strength? Alternately, are there telemedicine dermatologists in Massachusetts?
Anon
Curology literally is a prescription. That’s the best way to go. All evaluation is online via pictures and emailing the RN via the Curology portal.
CostAccountant
Yes,Curology is prescription & if memory serves less expensive or at least reasonably priced.
Anonymous
Call your regular dermatologist and ask.
Anonymous
Did you call your doc? They might be willing to call in an extra few months for you. Or do a remote visit.
Anonymous
I’d call the doctor’s office from the original prescription & just ask them if they’ll submit a refill or do telemedicine for your appointment because you’re practicing social distancing.
givemyregards
In certain states if you’re under state of emergency, a pharmacist can refill most prescriptions – might still hold off on this one, though, since they’re pretty swamped.
THANK YOU
Thanks to the commenters who seriously discussed coronavirus preparations back in January / February. I bought my non-perishable food and supplies back then based on your advice, and I am so grateful for you now that so many shelves in my area are empty. I have gained so much knowledge from this site and the moms version of the years while lurking, and I really appreciate the people who actively participate in spite of negative comments.
Anon
Same. I think I posted the equivalent of “calm down” to one poster who discussed early preparations and I feel bad about it now. I see now that it wasn’t “panic,” but measured foresight.
Anon
Agreed! I’ve been buying an extra box of pasta, beans, and canned veggies here and there over the past month, which made this week’s run on pantry items way less stressful. I also had purchased a huge pack of costco TP and Clorox wipes weeks ago just in case (the TP was a happy coincidence that we needed some). I still went out to get a few produce items, but I could mosey right through the pasta and bean aisle instead of panicking.
Anonymous
i feel this way too! we bought dried goods and canned basics in Jan/Feb. I ventured to the store right at opening today to get some fresh vegetables and fruit and it was already a madhouse – i got what we needed and left. We hope to not have to go shopping again for 2-3 weeks. Thanks to everyone here.
Anon
I did prep shopping not in anticipation of panic runs on the stores, but rather anticipating supply chain disruptions.
I think I posted about it here –
I bought lots of non perishables like pasta, canned tuna, canned soup, tomato sauce, etc. plus items like laundry detergent and dishwasher tablets.
I’m also glad to have thought of TP and paper towels, though I just bought one big pack of each, not two years worth.
We’ll see if it’s enough but I’m very glad not to have any need to go to a grocery store right now.
Walnut
I acted like my husband was crazy when he was concerned early on, but am now grateful for his early preparations. I don’t think I was very sympathetic to my husbands emotional reactions early on and he’s been very sympathetic to mine, being as I’m 10 days behind him in processing my reactions.
It’s definitely an opportunity for me to reflect on how I reacted to opinions that were different than my own and remind myself to be inclusive of more feedback streams in the future.
Mineallmine
Thats a nice reflection during a tough situation. Hugs to you and your sympathetic hubby both.
Anon
Thank you. Being a rational but warning voice was super draining (here and IRL), and I have now been mentally experiencing the pandemic for >two months, all while trying not to induce panic. It was also hard to do it while questioning if I really *was* being too anxious. I hope it really did help someone’s life somewhere.
Parental Leave
HR at my firm approached me to provide my feedback and recommendations on the parental leave for my firm. I had my first child in August and took a 10-week FMLA leave. I was the first associate attorney to take leave in almost a decade. (Many of the attorneys had kids pre-firm or were already shareholders before kids.)
Currently, my firm has no paid leave for anyone. My firm is covered by FMLA, so it is doing only the minimum required under law by allowing people to use vacation/sick time concurrently with FMLA or use unpaid FMLA time. My firm has 30 attorneys in three offices: 2 in MCOL cities and 1 in a LCOL rural area. Although small by law firm standards, we are one of the largest firms in my area of the state. Interestingly, one of the things my firm is known for is ranking in the top 10 of my state for percentage of women attorneys. Right now, the managing shareholder is my mentor shareholder, and he is very family friendly with four young kids of his own. The new HR person has a similar mindset. My firm is very flexible when it comes to taking time out of the office for childcare and events for children. Our parental leave “policy” is just plain sad.
I plan to write a short fact-supported memo to HR on my recommendation, knowing that it could be distributed to the shareholders. I’m thinking of asking for 6 weeks paid for all employees (includes associate attorneys and all other full-time staff, basically anyone who is not a shareholder). I will probably hold off actually sending the memo until I see how the COVID-19 affect my firm’s income. Now is just a slower time, when I can actually dedicate some time to this project.
What would be your ask, and what would you include?
Anonymous
12 weeks paid leave and include information about competitors.
Anon
I’d ask for 16 weeks for all employees (including men, including support staff, everyone). I’d also include ramp-up benefits for the transition back, and maybe even throw in a 6 month Snoo rental (corporations are starting to do this and I’m obsessed – clearly if your baby sleeps you’re a better employee!) and the Milk Stork Program.
Don’t negotiate against yourself.
Never too many shoes...
17 weeks pay to 75%.
Anon
I’m in a LCOL city, and the benefits discussed above seem much more in line with BigLaw than local law firms.
12 weeks paid leave at 60% of salary. Option to use intermittent FMLA and a policy on how to do so (I would love to do, say, 9 weeks completely off then 6 weeks part-time). Look at what competitors offer.
anon
16 weeks parental leave, includes fathers, includes parents who adopt, an extra 6 weeks for twins, to be taken flexibly within the year of birth of placement. And yes, absolutely include information on competitors. The flexibility you enjoy now should be part of the policy as much as possible.
Anonymous
12 weeks parental leave for all new parents, an additional 6-12 weeks for all birth mothers. No difference for twins.
Sutemi
When men take paternity leave, women on maternity leave tend to face less stigma. In addition to the other asks I would suggest some paid leave for non-birthing parents.
Anonymous
How is everyone handling increased demands on everything right now? I will have my kids starting on Wednesday, where I’ll have to get them set up with online classes and oversee other activities throughout the day, while working from home – my boss expects us to be as responsive or even more responsive and to work longer hours – hey, we can be on earlier and stay on later since we don’t have to commute! Plus, his kids are grown and out of the house and he’s a workaholic anyways, so he sent like 50 e-mails this weekend…
On top of this, I normally outsource a lot of stuff around the house (laundry, cleaning, etc), which I’m still paying for but not having them come to my house and do the work. How do I keep my house clean, while now being a homeschool teacher, while having to continue to work the same 60+ hour weeks?!?!?! While trying to have daily facetime chats with my parents, since they’re older and my dad is in the very high risk category if he catches the virus…
I work in the finance industry, and I am fully expecting my company to do layoffs if the downward trend continues. Given my reduced capacity at work, whereas most of my male colleagues have stay at home wives handling all of this, I fully expect to be on the chopping block…
Anon
Why do you have to be a homeschool teacher? I would just wing it with any enrichment type activities that school provides for kids. If they do it great, if not they can do some chores. See which one they prefer.
Anonymous
hahaha nope not the OP but our school is assigning work on the computer
Anonymous
Yes, exactly this, plus one of my kids is struggling a bit in his honors courses and I really don’t want him to get behind.
Anon
Our distracts said they were assigning it but they all backed down because it’s totally unrealistic. There might be schoolwork that they recommend should be done but is there really a penalty if it’s not?
2 Cents
My DH is a Hs teacher. He’d rather not assign things, but is facing pressure from the school board to “prove” he’s doing something. He said there are really no penalties if his kids don’t turn in anything.
Anon
I wouldn’t cancel the laundry helper. There is just no way we can literally do it all, so minimize risk while staying sane. I would probably ask the laundry helper to take on some child supervision responsibilities (i.e. morning breakfast while you work, supervise some morning outside time). Yes, the men with SAHW are going to shine through this and we’re going to knock social development back 50 years during this pandemic. But realistically the only way to get through is hire your own help for those critical jobs.
Anon
You should find a local homeschool group and ask the moms. Trust me…I’m a homeschool grad and this was my mom’s life for years. Home care (no help), homeschooling (no help + a child on the spectrum), elderly care, and working. She raised a bunch of highly successful daughters who are out there kicking a$$ (and then also me womp womp haha). And this isn’t just her – it’s a lot of moms out there! I LOVED being homeschooled and honestly, every single employer has noted that my writing, research, and communication skills are well beyond my years. My sisters and our other homeschooled friends have received similar feedback. I should also mention that English is my mother’s second language, so many of you are better positioned to teach than you think! We as a society place a lot of emphasis on expertise/teaching methods/verified structures, which are important, but there’s something special about the nuance and intuition that parents can provide.
Maybe this will convince people that homeschooling is a fantastic option to consider for education!
Mpls
Have the kids help with the laundry and the cleaning, since they’ll also be home and should be learning those life skills anyway.
And let some of it slide.
Anon
Hi, I feel like I’m in the same boat. Hugs.
Social Distancing Qs
We use a dog walker and cleaning person (both individuals, not from big companies). Although we’re working from home and can easily get the dog walked, I hate to cancel our walker because we love her and don’t want to harm her business. Thoughts on this? Same question with our cleaning person. I’ve asked each about her preference and each wants to continue to work (not surprisingly).
no
I’m telling my cleaning person not to come but still paying her.
Anonymous
Same.
Anon
Same +1.
Cb
I think the dog walker sounds fine. Maybe just arrange for her to bring her own leash? Similarly conflicted about the cleaner, she wants to come. We’d go for a walk to get out of her way anyways.
Anon
Keep paying them but don’t have them come.
AnonInfinity
I would cancel the service but continue to pay them, personally.
Anon
We’re still using our dog walker. We’re canceling cleaner but will still pay.
Never too many shoes...
I cancelled my cleaning lady for this two-week session.
Anonymous
What about your nanny (my life situation isn’t a nanny for childcare, but something akin to it). Would you keep paying and not having them come if it’s a daily situation and could last for weeks or even months on end? I’m struggling with this, and my loved one is at very high risk of complications.
Anonymous
I would keep paying, assuming you are not dealing with loss of income or some other reason you can no longer afford it given the circumstances.
Dog won't walk
I have a dog walker, but my dog refuses to walk when her people are at home. So I’ve asked her not to come but will continue to pay her.
anon
I feel more anxious than I expected, even though I’m not in a high-risk group. I’m not worried about getting sick; I am worried about the overall impact on the community. I’m working from home with my school-age kiddo this week. Younger kid is at daycare. I don’t know if that’s the right call but there is no way I’d get anything done with her around, so that’s what I’m doing for now. :(
anonymous
I too am worried about the community impacts. My state has closed all bars and restaurants for dine-in customers. I have no idea how this is going to impact those people. It’s hard to focus/think about normal things right now and I’m definitely not being very productive at work. There is so much that has changed in such a short period of time. I’m giving myself a couple of days to process this new normal. I’m doing what I can with WFH, but it just seems like a drop in the ocean.
Anon
Grief. I have been experiencing this, and I’ve realized it’s grief for the world the way it was before COVID.
Veronica Mars
Has anyone had experience putting up pre-pasted wallpaper? Is it a nightmare? I’m considering adding some pre-pasted bead board wallpaper in my office, but can’t decide if it would be a great time suck during an otherwise anxiety-ridded time, or if it would drive me batty. I also have an existing chair rail, so I’d do it below the moulding (and I know traditionally, you’d do the beadboard and add the moulding on top, so that may be a problem as well.
Anon
So, it’s easier in that it’s less messy, but it is the same level of picky-picky-picky that all wallpaper is. We did TempPaper in our 1/2 bath, and I just have to remind myself not to look for the (subtle) mis-matches.
Anon
the university for which i work which is located in one of the 4 largest cities in the U.S. is giving students until March 25th to move out! in addition, students who’ve already left are allowed to fly back to pack up their stuff. i realize it is a hot mess at other universities where students away on spring break are not being allowed back on campus to get their stuff, but this makes zero sense from a public health perspective. oh, and they forgot to send an email to staff notifying us that they were canceling classes, but expecting our offices to remain open, until after they notified students….
Anonymous
Let’s just hope they empty out the refrigerators.
A driver's wife
Thank you for thinking of those in the package delivery industries. My husband is a driver for one of the big companies that everyone knows, and there has been zero communication from the powers that be related to Covid-19. To be fair, he doesn’t work on Mondays so maybe something was communicated this morning, but as of now it is definitely business as usual, and he expects to be in hell for the next few months because of the increased orders. A lot of deliveries are essential, of course, like daily medicine, but a lot of them aren’t, and a lot of things weigh a great deal as well, so the job is very physically demanding. You need to deliver every last thing on your truck before you can go home — there’s no real “quitting time” or “it can wait until tomorrow.” And yet, if you don’t deliver everything within a certain timeframe likely established by some algorithm, you get flak from your supervisor, who gets flak from their supervisor, etc., for not meeting goal numbers.
Drivers don’t always have access to restrooms to wash hands frequently, and pretty soon he is going to run out of the wipes and sanitizer he currently has, with no way to replenish if it’s all sold out. Wearing gloves is possible but he is still breathing in all the germs when he’s in the back of the truck getting boxes.
anon
That’s a good point. Not that many people buy their groceries online on a regular basis, that is now changing, so that segment is going to keep a lot of delivery drivers busy.
Anon
I am ready to 100% support the businesses that implement protections for their delivery people. All deserve PPE, ability to safely eat, go to the bathroom, and wash hands. It’s pretty clear that delivery people are critical to surviving COVID; they deserve front-line protection and compensation.
anon
How is everyone planning to make the best of this coronavirus lockdown? I’m trying to find the silver lining and not go insane over however long this lasts, so looking for ideas. For example, I travel all the time for work, so I’ve decided to foster a dog which I otherwise wouldn’t be able to do. Any other ideas?
Anon
I am using skillshare to learn watercoloring. I have been wanting to learn how to watercolor and got a bunch of supplies for Christmas, but in the whirlwind of the new year and starting a new job, hadn’t had the chance yet to practice. Now I should have plenty of time.
Also, my husband and I are board gamers, so this is a great time to have that hobby! I recommend Pandemic if anyone is looking to pick up a board game. ;)
anon
I just recommend the base game, not the legacy version. Too depressing!
pink
I’m doing my taxes, mending my work clothes and doing all the things i haven’t had a chance to do while traveling between home and my work location (6month temp situation) and working through my UFOs in my knitting bag… cooking allll the things.
yesterday i vacuumed and mopped and dusted the entire place…
today i may clean out the fridge and meal plan :)
Anon
if i didn’t have two toddlers i have sooo many things i would get done around the apartment. photo albums, switching out winter clothes, cleaning, digital organizing, taxes. i would also play board games and read and watch movies. instead, our two bedroom apartment will likely end up MUCH messier
Vicky Austin
Reading EVERYTHING. Maybe writing a bit for the first time in a long time.
Is it Friday yet?
I learned to knit last fall, and since then have bought sort of a ridiculous amount of yarn for multiple projects that I’ve been too busy to actually start. Soooo, that. Also my huge backlog of books. And my apartment may actually be clean instead of just livable for once.
Mpls
+1 – I cleaned this weekend since I knew it would drive me nuts to have to stare at the mess I usually get to ignore when I go to work. I’ve got plenty of sewing and needlework projects to keep me busy, and a nice area to go for a walk (weather is getting warmed, despite the sprinkling of snow today).
Belle Boyd
If we go on lockdown, I bought all my cleaning supplies to do my spring cleaning. I’d also like to go through my mom’s and gramma’s recipes and put together a cookbook for my sister for her birthday or Christmas. If I get all that done, there’s always the photo album and scrapbook I’ve been putting off.
I can find a lot to do!
Anon
Reading. A lot. I read when I’m anxious or stressed. As a result, I’ve read 7 books so far in March. Working on catching up on my Book of the Month backlog!
Taking a bath the second I’m done with work every night. Like, literally in the bath at 5:10 pm.
Sleeping in. I’ve been getting up 60-90 min later than usual and starting work on time.
Watching a LOT of Netflix. West Wing is nice- Bartlet is the type of leader we need right now. His “the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight” speech made me bawl a few days ago.
Keeping my apartment clean.
Snuggling with the dog. A lot.
Anon
I am going to use it to brainstorm my true impact at work, and also work on my garden. I WISH I could work on our house, but access to renovation supplies is too hard. We should have bought that trim and those cabinets, and that door last year after all. My wife is never going to push back on my home renovation “pre-buying” again!
Anon
I can already see that school closures are disproportionately affecting women, even in my 100% remote and professional (not hourly) environment. I guess with two parents working from home the assumption is still that the woman must figure out what to do with children. I had female staff starting ridiculously early today, clocking out mid-morning to start again later. No changes to male staff’s schedules so far. Almost everyone has school-aged kids. What’s happening at your workplace?
Cb
I notice this with school closures and sick days more generally and it frustrates me. My husband does 80% of sick days as his work is partially handled while he’s out, mine just waits until my return. However, in this case, my husband appears to be classed as essential, at least until his branch of government shuts down completely. I’m a precarious academic and can’t afford to lose weeks (months?) worth of working time.
Anon
Starting early, clocking out mid-morning and then checking back in later sounds like they are trading childcare shifts with a partner? I have a partner and am doing no more than 50% of the childcare, but there’s still no way I can work anything resembling a normal 9-5 schedule with my child at home. My kid is only two though, and requires a lot more hands-on attention than a school-age child.
Anonymous
My husband cannot work from home and works for a federal agency that I really doubt will shut down. I am a lawyer who can work from home, so I am home with my school-age children (ages 9 and 11). I have made a schedule for them to include some school work, outside time, creative time, reading time, chore time, and honestly a chunk of TV/electronic time. I am expecting them to follow this pretty much on their own. Day one is going smoothly, but I don’t know if that will continue haha. Our schools are closed for three weeks and I had already planned on taking one week off for Spring Break, so we’ll see how we do these next two weeks. The courthouses have slowed down, so my own work is slow as well.
Anon
I have struggled in the past, but my husband is way stepping up. He’s in it 50/50 with me all the way.
Anon
i’m asking for a friend – but is there any point to job searching right now? i am assuming there is going to be a hiring freeze just about everywhere?
Anon
Even if there’s not a hiring freeze, is anyone reading applications? I imagine HRs everywhere are slammed with the virus. I’d tell your friend it can’t hurt to apply – her app can sit in their inbox – but I wouldn’t expect to hear anything for weeks.
Walnut
It depends on your industry. I’m in a compliance function and nothing is slowing down for us. We’re trying to do the same amount of work, but with fewer resources, so we’re actively recruiting and filling our open positions.
anon
i’ve pretty much suspended my job search for now. No point (lawyer).
Anonymous
We were incredibly understaffed before the pandemic hit and have not slowed down our plans to hire, at least not yet. We just scheduled video interviews for several candidates.
Anon
Maybe? It depends. I have a new employee starting soon, and I was just informed that 50% of their job function is now banned due to site access. So…I guess we’ll have them work more on the other 50%?
Anon
Now that I am working from home, I have a new boss. He’s 10 years old and of the feline variety. Aside from his demands to go in and out every 10 minutes or so, he also thinks the speaker phone is speaking to him, and answers, loudly, all the time. I’m not fast enough on the mute button.
How are your roommates, human or other, adapting to you working from home?
Anonymous
I work from home normally and last week when my cat was talking to the speakerphone he had a very nice update from the person on the other end who’s cat was sitting on his keyboard!
Mineallmine
My pupper is doing a great job of alleviating anxiety and forcing me to go outside during rare breaks in the rain. It’s hard to be too stressed when you have a large dog snoring away next to your desk or making you laugh because he loves his ball so very much :)
Anon
He’s going back and forth between “I cannot believe that you are HOME and IGNORING ME, how dare you” to “OMG OMG OMG OMG you’re here! Still! Let me just come say hi! Love you! This is the BEST!” He’s also very much enjoying that he has free reign of the house- the upstairs is usually shut off to him because he can’t be trusted with all the fun things upstairs when I’m not home, like my CPAP machine. But when I’m home he just goes and lays in the dead center of the bed, happily.
He isn’t too impressed by our short walks but I’ve tried to make up for it with lots of fetch time.
Also, he gets very sulk-y when I confiscate his squeaky toys during client calls.
Anon
My dog is doing all of this AND also now watching at a window for all passing people/dogs – my team doesn’t appreciate his monitoring updates (aka wild barking) as much as he expects.
Anon
so even companies that claim everyone is working from home, do not have everyone working from home. a friend was supposed to start working for a large company whose name starts with a G and ends with an E in NYC today. she has been at her parents’ house in the burbs with her sister who just arrived back from Paris on Friday and is supposed to self quarantine. she went to the G office today to get her badge, etc. and then they sent her home. this makes absolutely no sense and defeats the self quarantining!