Wednesday’s TPS Report: ‘Ghizor Weave’ Jacket

154 Comments

1. Well, I’m wearing a white sweater today, so I obviously don’t follow the Labor Day rule religiously. However, winter white, to me, is about texture and fabric weight in addition to color. So, no I wouldn’t wear a white jacquard blazer in January.

   1. +1. I don’t wear much white in Oct/Nov or March/April. But I definitely have separate sets of white for summer/early fall and for winter.

   2. I agree that it’s about the texture and weight of the fabric. I really like the look of winter white when done well, but I don’t own any because I’ve never found a piece in my price range that I love.

      For what it’s worth, I’ve never really thought that sweaters were subject to the “rule” and thought it applied to things like pants, skirts, jackets, and shoes. I have worn white sweaters year round although I don’t own one right now.

   3. +2. I decide what to wear based on the appropriateness of the fabric to the weather. For example, I have a pastel pink cashmere sweater (traditionally a spring color) that I can wear year round, if it gets cold enough in the summer. That reminds me of a recent article on Real Simple’s website that claims that pastels will be in this winter. Who knew?

      1. My favorite cashmere sweater is mint green. I usually wear it with kind of a blueberry color. It’s too warm to wear here other than in the coldest part of winter, but I don’t think it looks out of place.

         1. What color blue is “blueberry”?

            1. dark purple-y blue

   4. I’m not sure I’d wear it in the winter either (though perhaps styled with a heavier weight wool it might work) – but I really like that this cut for a white blazer – really limits the nurse or medical professional vibe that you can get with some of them.

   5. +3. I always thought the rule was actually about texture and fabric weight, i.e. whether the item is appropriate for the season.

      1. I’ve actually heard it explained as a difference between warm and cool tones, regardless of fabric weight or material. So I’ve always understood that winter white is supposed to have a warmer tone, while white-white has cool. But a quick Google has yielded a pile of contradictory results, so YMMV.

         For myself, I don’t really follow fashion “rules,” but something about white pants and shoes during the fall and winter doesn’t work for me. A white jacket or sweater would be completely fine in my book.

   6. “Winter white” is a color, not a use or texture. It’s like a light cream. So it’s not about wearing white in wintertime. It’s simply a different color, and it’s always been a thing as far as I know.

      1. Agreed. Just last night I pulled out my pair of Michael Kors ponte knit winter white pants. I only wear them Labor Day – Easter. My summer white pants are now stowed away until spring.

         1. Agree that this is a fabric/texture thing, not a color thing. I wear white year round but I wouldn’t wear white eyelet in the winter and I wouldn’t wear winter weight white wool in the summer. I am actually super excited for it to get colder because I got the most awesome white wool circle skirt (thick JCrew double serge wool weight) & I can’t wait to wear it.

            I do think some colors are just more fall/spring (burnt orange or peach, e.g.) and while they can be worn year round it takes a bit more effort to do so without looking a bit off.

            1. Try saying “winter weight winter white wool” 10 times fast.

               Sorry, I’m a dork and in a silly mood this morning. I’m clearly having too much fun. :-)

   7. I have a cream-colored light-weight corduroy blazer that is really flattering, but I never seem to wear it for just this concern over seasonality. Is it fall season only? Winter season only? Do I need to be careful about the colors I pair it with?

      1. This sounds like a great blazer. Corduroy is mostly a fall fabric, but I love fall fabrics, so I usually extend them really far into the winter. :)

         1. I’ve never heard that corduroy is a fall fabric (or that there were any other fall fabrics, as opposed to fall/winter fabrics). I’ve always considered it to be a cold weather fabric and wear it fall, winter and even into spring, since where I live snow in May is not unusual.

   8. I ordered and returned this jacket. The fit and quality were great but the color was more of a beige than white.

2. I can not wear white b/c of the subway, and peeople who are sloppy alway’s spilling soda and ice cream and they are NOT even suposed to be bringeing in food into the subway. If I ran the MTA, I would not stop and frisk for weapon’s but would stop the food b/c all of the rats are also eating in the subway what these peeople drop. FOOEY!

   Sam texted me alot when I was in the car with Roberta and I had 2 message’s on my phone when I got home. Evidently the manageing partner and him have some sort of arrangement and dad also wants me to date and marry Sam. What is goieng on? Do I not have a say in who I am to work with and marry? This is getting ridiculous! It is NOT like he is the ONLEY one that is interested in me. Just this weekend, Willem (an older man) seems to be interested in me also, and not just for my body. He asked alot of probeing question’s and said I was very intellegeint lawyer who he looked FORWARD to workeing with! YAY! Finaly a man who want’s me for my legal MIND! YAY!

   I have to run to court now and see if the Judge likes my red dress and new belt! YAY!

   1. That sounds like a good look for Staten Island Supreme, Ellen.

      No offense to Richmond County, but I’ve seen some creative courtroom attire there.

3. Anyone have a recommendation for a good therapist in NYC who deals with anxiety/working mother guilt issues?

   1. I used to see Dr. Ruth Livingston (9th Ave. and 38th?) when I worked in the city more frequently for anxiety issues. I really liked her. 917-929-4742. I also know people who’ve used the 5th Avenue Counseling Center (bet. 5th and 6th on 23rd Street). 212-989-2990.

   2. Dr Tanya Bannister at Cognitive therapy for women on Mercer St 2124734765 or bannister@ctwomen.org

4. I have a thick, nubby white cotton blazer that works for fall and even winter with the right pieces (dark blouse, wool skirt, tights, boots). I’m also on the lookout for a winter white pencil skirt, though I think it would need to be a decent weight wool to look right in winter.

   1. I have a pair of white jeans that I wear year-round, and tuck into boots (brown or black) during winter. They go with almost everything. I’ve also been seeing a lot of white watches lately and expect people to keep wearing those through different seasons.

5. I have been drowning in work lately and have admittedly not watched the news or even really read the news in a pretty long time. I’m trying to find a non-bias article that discusses the situation in Syria, the U.S. options, and the potential consequences of the different options (both politically, economically, and for human rights). I’m also interested in reading about how this political dilemma compares with Iraq. I have overheard sentiment among those who supported the war in Iraq adamantly against intervention in Syria and those who opposed Iraq, supporting intervention in Syria. I’m curious if this is because they (either position) have “learned the error of their ways” from Iraq, if they are opposing/supporting this because Obama supports it, or if there is something I’m missing when, on its face, both sound like alleged issues of weapons of mass destruction, oppression, lack of political freedom and human rights violations. I’m curious what is behind the different reactions.

   I know this isn’t the place for such a discussion so if anyone could point me to a reputable article that breaks down the issues I’d very much appreciate it. Thanks.

   1. I haven’t read this in any depth yet, but it might be helpful http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/09/your-labor-day-syria-reader-part-2-william-polk/279255/

   2. I like this recap, which someone posted here the other day : http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/08/29/9-questions-about-syria-you-were-too-embarrassed-to-ask/

      1. Yes I was going to post the WP article too. I’ve been actively following the Syrian news (for a myriad of reasons) and found this to be really helpful!

         1. +1

   3. In short – it’s a bad situation with no good options for solutions. The use of gas does constitute a violation of a longstanding norm of international law. The Washington Post article below is a straight forward and concise for those not familiar with the issues (covers that action unlikely via UN because Russia has a veto). As a Canadian, I’m a bit confused whythe debate in the USA seems to compare Syria to Iraq instead of Libya – as a limited Libya-type intervention is all that is on the table.

      http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/08/29/9-questions-about-syria-you-were-too-embarrassed-to-ask/?tid=pm_world_pop

      1. My understanding is that the “window” for a Libyan-type intervention has passed. There may have been a window a few months ago but the geo-political situation has changed and intervening to help the rebels may create an untenable situation going forward. (see Afghanistan after US intervention in the 80s/90s). This is over simplified of course

      2. I’d also just add that the use of chemical weapons isn’t just a violation of international norms, but also a violation of international law and the Geneva Conventions.

   4. I work in middle east politics. I can probably find an article later, but super quick, some of the differences between Iraq and Syria:

      -There’s already a civil war in Syria, there wasn’t in Iraq
      -The WMD’s in Iraq were alleged to be threat to American national security and have not been used, the WMD’s in Syria are a violation of international law and norms and have already been used.
      -Iraq involved American forces on the ground, Syria will not. it will be limited to just airstrikes
      -Iraq was open ended, Syria (according to bills put to Congress) would only last (I believe) 60 days, with a possible 30 day extension if Congress deems it necessary.
      -The end goal of Iraq was regime change, the end goal of Syria is to enforce the message that chemical weapons are not acceptable.

      So Iraq really isn’t an apt comparison for Syria. Rather, Libya is a much more accurate comparison. Except the Brits don’t want to join this time. Take from this what you will, but this is why many people’s opinions differ from their opinions from Iraq.

      1. Also, some (mostly on the right) think that the Syrian government got its chemical weapons, and maybe more, from Iraq.

   5. here is a piece about what Congress should ask, and what possible alternatives to military strikes would look like:
      http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/world-report/2013/09/03/10-syria-questions-for-john-kerry-and-chuck-hagel

      This is a really helpful summary of the current debate in the US and some of the different positions, but really condensed:
      http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/09/syria-debate-congress-guide

   6. Thank you all.

      1. well mine is in moderation bc i had two links,so here they are separately

         here is a piece about what Congress should ask, and what possible alternatives to military strikes would look like:
         http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/world-report/2013/09/03/10-syria-questions-for-john-kerry-and-chuck-hagel

      2. This is a really helpful summary of the current debate in the US and some of the different positions, but really condensed:
         http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/09/syria-debate-congress-guide

   7. Thank you for your question! I realized this morning that I needed to know more about it and am a bit embarassed that I haven’t been following the news as closely as I should.

   8. Yes! A former NYT reporter started a news blog, Kicker, with explainers for exactly this situation. Here’s the link to their Syria explainer: http://gokicker.com/2013/01/31/a-handy-playbook-on-the-conflict-in-syria/

6. What is one thing you see or wear or do that always makes you think yikes/frumpy?

   And the opposite- something that you always see/wear/do that always makes you think put-together/polished?

   1. Muffin top is the worst. I cringe every time I see a teenage (or worse, post-teenage) girl walking down the street with way-too-tight jeans and a shirt that just won’t stay put, revealing a horrible muffin top. I understand people are built differently but if your body is the type that’s sort of straight up-and-down and you suffer from muffin top, please get some medium or high-rise jeans!

      I generally think scarves make women look very put-together but I often feel self-conscious in them myself.

      1. +1 re muffin top. I mean, really, doesn’t anyone teach these girls how to dress? It doesn’t take that much common sense to realize that, hmmm, maybe I should get bigger jeans or a longer shirt, or both. Arghh.

         Leggings as pants, and yoga pants as streetwear, come a very, very close second for me.

         As for polished: I love seeing a woman who has simple clothes that fit her perfectly. That, to me, is the epitome of polished.

         1. Generally I agree that yoga pants aren’t to be worn as regular day-to-day clothing, but I go to the gym 3-4 times a week after work, and by the time I’m done with my workout, I can’t be bothered to change back into my work clothes for the commute home.

            *shrug* Honestly, I’ve seen much worse fashion faux pas on NYC public transit, so fashion rules be damned, I wear my workout pants home.

   2. From a woman who commutes in sandals or toms, women in business suits with sneakers. It just looks like a early 1990s movie to me, somehow…

      1. I actually love the hose-socks-sneakers look. It’s what all the professional women commuted in when I was growing up and would go into the city with my father, so for me it’s, oddly, an aspirational look. For commuting shoes I’d say Toms and Uggs. They aren’t cute, and they’re not comfortable or supportive, so you’re not getting that benefit either. I am clearly in a vanishingly small minority on this one!

         1. as someone who commutes almost exclusively in Toms and Uggs, you are incorrect on the comfort part. Toms and Uggs are two of the most comfortable shoes I own.

            1. I don’t commute in Toms, but I agree that they are the most comfortable pair of shoes I’ve ever owned. Second only to my Uggs, which got so dingy and gross from snow that I finally had to get rid of them. I didn’t replace them, but they are amazingly comfortable. Both of these shoes are far more comfortable than running shoes, which are great for running, but start to feel tight and binding after wearing them for too long.

   3. I think “yikes” and “frumpy” are completely different.

      For “yikes”, skirts that end up higher than mid-thigh when the wearer is seated, worn to the office. Not appropriate (but possibly okay when standing, which is where the “yikes” comes in – should have checked your outfit from all angles/positions before leaving the house).

      For “frumpy,” stockings/pantyhose/tights worn with peep toe shoes or sandals.

      I think a sleek bob always looks put together/polished. However, as I am blessed with an abundance of curls, the words “sleek” and “bob” will never be used to describe my hairstyle.

      1. I wear tights with peep toes all the time (in tight-wearing season). Its a super-modern look at not frumpy at all.

         1. It’s just my opinion – it isn’t a fact. I’m sure I wear things that you would find frumpy, too :)

            1. For what its worth, my hairstyle is a sleek bob, so hopefully when you see me walking around with my tights and peep toes, you will be mezmarized by my hair!

         2. Agreed that tights + peep toes is modern. Nylons and peep toes are NOT.

         3. Its super frumpy and odd looking…

            1. +1, no fashion mag can convince me tights and peep toes are anything but frumpy

            2. It’s all about how you wear it. If you’re doing it in a way that look clearly intentional with really fierce shoes and the rest of what you’re wearing coordinates accordingly, that can be cool.
               If you’re wearing it in a way that’s basically I am more comfortable in nylons and I hope no one really notices that my shoes are peep toes, that is not so cool.

            3. For me it depends on if there is a seam showing….

            4. I actually think its a pretty sleek look. I suppose if the rest of the outfit isnt good, then it wouldnt look too hot, but if youre pulled together, its totally appropriate and not frumpy at all.

            5. fashion magazines have convinced me it’s a cool look…on fashion models. in real life it’s almost always a little frumpy.

   4. Frumpy = skirts in the wrong length (eg long/midi leftovers from the 80s), black nylons with white sneakers, scrunchies, glasses from the 80s, perms likewise.

      Polished – don’t really know. When all of the outfit/accessories go together – eg no yoga pants with fancy bag, nothing jarring.

      1. Yikes to me is a visible panty line. Wearing a spanx or similar (possibly sizing up if one just needs the smooth look without the compression) is a great way to avoid the panty line.

         1. +1 there are few things more cringe-worthy than VPL

            1. I’ll take VPL over a bra that clearly doesn’t fit any day of the week.

            2. @AIMS – oof, yeah, poorly fitting bras are no good. In general I find that if your undergarments don’t work for your outfit, you’re screwed. Doesn’t matter how well you’re dressed; if your bra clearly doesn’t fit or you have extreme VPL it becomes a “yikes” situation in my opinion.

            3. Ugh. Both Spanx and thongs are awfully uncomfortable. I guess I will stick with frumpy and not-constantly-picking-at-my-undergarments, since I think the latter is considerably less polished/ladylike than VPL.

   5. Yikes for me is outfits where they haven’t looked at their outfit in the mirror from the back, so that underwear is showing (dark underwear through a light skirt), the skirt they are wearing is too small so that it’s 6″ higher in the back than the front or the vent in the back is so stretched it looks like an upside down V, and is probably way higher than the wearer expects. Always make me think ‘yikes!’

      Polished – When the fit of the clothes is just right then the person wearing them looks extra polished.

      1. I had a yikes like that yesterday. A girl I was walking behind was wearing a really cute blouse and conservative-length (maybe 2-3 inches above the knee) dark denim skirt–but the skirt had a back vent that went up so high I actually saw a flash of her underwear while she was walking. From the rest of her outfit (modest skirt length, crew-neck blouse with short sleeves), I did not get the impression she meant to be so revealing. So once again, proves the importance of checking outfits from all angles and views.

         As far as polished goes, classic clothes that fit well and reflect some sense of personal style.

         1. It’s funny how conservatism varies by person, region, etc. I wouldn’t call a skirt 2-3 inches above the knee modest or conservative. It’s not immodest, but I would consider a skirt 1 inch above the knee and lower to be modest. Of course, it also depends on the wearer’s height…

            1. I went to a Catholic school for most of my life, and our skirts were allowed to be two inches above the knee. If it’s conservative according to a bunch of nuns, it’s conservative enough for an office.

            2. To clarify, this was just a person on the street, not someone going to work in an office (or if she was going to an office, it would have been one with a very casual dress code, but I really have no idea). I wouldn’t consider 3 inches above the knee conservative for the office, but I think it’s conservative for non-office wear.

   6. Frumpy = sneakers that look like they belong in the gym with dresses and suits. I did this once, hoping I would feel ok about it since I was wearing khakis and a cardigan on a casual day, but I felt like a Frumpy McFrumpface. I am now setting about procuring a pair of supportive, low-profile black mary janes for commuting.

      Polished = perfectly manicured nails that compliment the outfit. Not necessarily a matching color, but something that doesn’t look out of place, either.

      1. I agree about manicured nails. I’ll add to that that I think super long nails are not a good look. I personally think that short, clean nails are the best way to go. Sometimes a pop of bright color looks great in the summer or springtime, but generally I think either sheer colors or just a top coat looks most polished.

      2. I did this while pregnant (at the very end). I knew how bad it looked and did it anyway. It was a dark couple of days, but my feet were just. so. sore. I switched into real shoes as soon as I got into the office, but still…*hangs head in shame*

   7. Yikes is the woman in my old office who wore evening clothes to work. Yes, they were suits, but they were made out of satin or taffeta and she wore them with sparkly evening jewelry, satin evening sandals, and a fancy, evening updo. She always looked like she was on her way to her son or daughter’s wedding, and not on her way to an office. Yikes!

      1. Yes to this! I work with a woman who clearly veered over to the dressy suit category when buying something from this decade, but who doesn’t realize her outfit looks like “mother of the bride” much more than “professional.”

         1. Oof, this sounds especially bad, given that so many of the “mother of the bride” looks I’ve seen in the bridal mags I’m looking through are soooooo bad.

      2. I almost love this. It’s so bad it’s awesome.

         1. Agreed. This lady sounds awesome.

   8. Neither frumpy nor yikes but bright colours + black jacket seem sad to me. Skip the brights if you don’t think your professional persona can handle it !

   9. For me personally, it’s all about the hair – I have curly hair and if I get the product/scrunching right, or straighten my hair, I feel polished. If I get the product and scrunching wrong, and end up with frizz, I feel frumptastic. I feel like I can pull off a much wider range of outfits if my hair looks good! Other than that, I am petite, so anything too long = frump for me.

   10. too-short pants is always frumpy to me. I guessed polished is the opposite – everything fits perfectly.

       1. YES! Men are so often guilty of this!

       2. For me it is when they’re too long and thus baggy in all the wrong places!

   11. Yikes to me is skirts that are way too short for work! I’ve seen so many women wearing skirts that are maybe appropriate without the slit, but the slit in the back makes them way too short. Like, b*tt cheek showing short. Always makes me cringe.

       Frumpy to me is shoulder pads (when they are obviously apparent), tights with sneakers commuting, and I’m also going to agree with the nylons/tights + sandals or peeptoes. I understand it is a modern trend, but I haven’t really seen it on a young person who might be able to pull it off. I’ve only seen it on people who don’t look like they know it’s a new trend.

   12. I only think yikes when something seems clearly unintentional. Most frequently its when the slit on the back of the skirt/dress is so high that it seems improbably someone is wearing it to work knowingly. I even have a joke with a friend of mine where we’ll be walking away after a work lunch or something and one of us will go, “slit ok?” Also high heels you can’t walk in. If you can’t walk properly in high shoes, don’t wear them. That should be a rule. 3 inch + heels are never mandatory.

       For frumpy there are too many things and they are all so context/person specific. Something that looks cool on a 23 year old riding the L train can look really frumpish on someone else who has just been wearing that for the last 33 years.

       I agree that there’s nothing like good fit and perfect tailoring for a really polished look.

       1. Cackling at the comment about the L train, because I know exactly what you mean. (Although recently, there have been a lot of things that make me cringe on the L train, no matter who’s wearing them. I will never be able to fully support totally sheer tops with the bra fully exposed.)

       2. If I can walk perfectly in my 4 or 5 inch heels (with or without tights), and the rest of my outfit is appropriate, I can wear them, right?

          1. heck yeah! I think if you can walk perfectly in any shoes, go for it, I won’t even notice if you are walking correctly. The only time I notice the height of someone’s shoes is when she is clearly incapable of walking.

             1. This. So much this. I have never noticed someone’s shoes other than to think “nice shoes!” when they are walking in them properly. My best friend wears the highest heels all the time but she looks so natural and at ease that the only thing you notice is that she looks great.

   13. I *hate* the leggings-as-pants look. Leggings are NOT a replacement for skinny jeans!

       In my upper-crust suburban town, I double-cringe when I see a teenager wearing a t-shirt and leggings AND HER MOTHER DOING THE SAME THING.

       1. Agree with the leggings.

          Last winter a middle aged pregnant woman was wearing what appeared to me to be black tights with a waist length wool coat. From behind, I thought she had accidentally hiked up her skirt into her coat and I rushed over to her to let her know. But when she turned you could suddenly see there was no skirt. Just tights… so thin you could see her underwear through with a big pregnant belly hiding only part of her crotch.

          I had started to speak before I realized, while she just looked at me irritated and walked away angrily….. I apologized and swore I wouldn’t try to be “helpful” again to a stranger!

       2. Wearing leggings and to-the-waist shirt as I type this. (Not at work, of course. Heh.)

          I do think most people agree with you. Me, though? I wear what I like (and don’t think twice about it unless I read something like this and that oft-cited “leggings are not pants” rule). So, just to say, peeps: there are those of us who will, age notwithstanding, forever enjoy leggings-it-up.

   14. I think this is actually in, but I hate bright colors under sheer tops. I saw a woman walking to work in a sheer cream-colored top with a fuchsia tank underneath. It looked kind of cute, but not appropriate for work. I think the only work-appropriate color under a sheer top is beige, or white maybe, especially if you have dark skin and “nude” isn’t nude-for-you.

       1. That contrasting tanks and sheer tops look unprofessional for work, since they draw attention to the top’s sheerness. However, the underclothes should either match the color of your skin or the sheer top. Under most colors, beige or white will contrast with darker skin tones just as much as dark brown would contrast with paler skin tones.

   15. I do a yikes when I see the people who have left the Xs on their skirt vents and the manufacturer label on coat sleeves. I’m impressed by people on the metro who are going to work without carrying a huge bag.

       1. this. that drives me crazy when people leave the labels on or the skirt/jacket vents stitched.

       2. In my wedding photos you can see the label on my dad’s jacket as he’s walking me down the aisle. He was so excited to get a new suit for the big day, unfortunately no one noticed in time.

   16. Too tight in the tush pants. I see a lot of people wearing pants that are almost splitting at their behind, but fit them in the waist. I assume that’s whey they didn’t size up. But it’s really not that hard or costly to get pants taken in at the waist. I don’t know why people don’t do it.

       Another thing that looks frumpy to me is too long pant lengths (pant hems dragging on the ground). I guess this follows the theme of people not getting clothes tailored.

       No matter the fabric, I always appreciate a well-fitting jacket/blazer. It just looks sleek to me.

       1. Or smile lines on pants/skirts from the front. Even celebs seem to have this problem (see Lisa Cuddy on House or Rachel on Suits), so I’m not sure if most offenders even realize that this is a sign of bad fit.

   17. I suspect this is going to get a mostly negative response, but I think cardigans are frumpy 70% of the time.

       1. I think it largely depends upon the office environment. I wore a blazer for the first month at my office, and I was largely out of place. While I still wear suits if I’m going to be at a closing, cardigans fit my casual office much more appropriately.

          That being said, as with most things, if a cardigan doesn’t fit properly it will look frumpy.

7. I work in government and we move offices within the county every so often. I am getting word today that I will be moving to an office where my best friend is currently placed. We are often described as “twins” because we are so similar in age, appearance, and we are great friends outside of work. Although she has a great work ethic, I am afraid I might be lumped together with her in office culture. I just want to be sure I maintain my own identity and make my own way there. Any tips for people who work with dear friends?

   1. When you first move, make a point of reaching out to new colleagues separately from her. Your inclination is likely going to be to spend working-social time (coffee breaks, lunch, etc.) with her – make sure you’re “hanging out” with other co-workers without her, at least occasionally and certainly in the beginning, so the other people in the office get to know you first as LegalMiss, instead of as “Janey’s friend, oh darn, what’s her name again?”

8. Hi all. Just wanted to thank everyone for the advice from a last week re: TTC. For those who asked – my charts have been really consistent, temping and OPKs have matched up, and (although obviously I’m not an expert, and could be missing something) it seems like we have tried every day throughout our window each month for at least six cycles. So I just wanted to ask if anyone had a rec for an RE in NYC. Thanks!

   1. Has your husband been checked for sperm count/levels?

      1. Semen analysis is part of the basic fertility work up that the RE would do, along with blood work for you and an HSG (do be sure to take the maximum dose of ibuprofen they allow you before the procedure — you’ll want it).

      2. Yes, he has – everything was fine. He did it through his urologist, as a result of a health issue he has (microlithiasis) that can sometimes affect fertility.

   2. I only had a consultation there, but I really liked Dr. Wang at Sher Fertility Institute. http://haveababy.com/.

      1. Thanks Batgirl!

9. Apropos of the frumpy question just above, do any of you ladies have recommendations for low profile, black, supportive, commuting Mary Janes? I have knee problems, and I am glumly admitting I should probably not wear ballet flats whenever I am not wearing heels.

   1. I’ve seen these a lot: http://www.zappos.com/skechers-bikers-step-up-black?zfcTest=fcl%3A0

   2. Not sure if they qualify as low profile, but I love the Clarks Un.cedar.

   3. Cole Haan makes the nike air sneaker mary janes that are great for commuting (sneaker bottoms on a work shoe).

   4. I’m in the PNW, so I’m a big believer in Danskos. Very supportive. Also good for rainy weather.

      But if you’re not used to wearing them, they will give you back pain the first week or so. Just wear them 2-3 times a week until your body gets used to them.

      http://www.zappos.com/dansko-maryjane-ebony-oiled-full-grain?zfcTest=fcl%3A0

   5. I love Danskos as well. I am wearing this shoe today and think I need it in other colors. Perhaps the most comfortable shoe I have ever worn.
      http://www.zappos.com/dansko-opal-black-nappa?zfcTest=fcl%3A0

   6. No offense, but most of the above do read as frumpy to me. How about something like this: http://www.6pm.com/naya-castalia-oxford-brown-leather-bordo-suede or http://www.6pm.com/sofft-valda-chianti-cow-patent?zlfid=192&ref=pd_sims_p_1 or http://www.6pm.com/frye-lois-mj-black-soft-vintage-leather?zlfid=192&ref=pd_sims_sdp_1

      1. Unfortunately, my knee injury means I’m specifically looking for flats. Fortunately, it’s not so bad I have to give up sleek heels altogether, just for the commute. The Sketchers are close to what I was thinking of, but I’m hoping someone else wears them and know if they actually have good arch support, or if they just look like they should. I currently wear Clarks Indigo Rosie ballet flats and Cole Haan Air Nike Tali wedges for my commute, and for anyone whose knees aren’t as bad as mine, I wholeheartedly recommend them.

         Thanks for the suggestions!

         1. My MIL wears those sketchers constantly. They are adorable on her. She has bad knees too. And even if they don’t have great support, you could put in an arch support insole.

            Or order from Zappos, where the return shipping is free if they don’t work.

      2. god forbid someone not be wearing HEELS for specifically commuting shoes.

10. Anyone have thoughts on Tempur-pedic mattresses? Are they really worth the price? Is the hype true?

    1. No personal experience, but someone I know has one and complains about them getting really hot at night because the foam just holds heat.

       1. Yes, this is a common complaint.

          Sleep number are supposed to have a variation that is cooler. Pricey.

       2. I was very skeptical, but my husband wanted to try one, so when we needed a new matteress last year, we went for it. We bought the icomfort — which i think is a competitors brand — becuase it is supposed to be cooler.

          I love it. We both sleep better (even when kids climb in the bed) and my aches and pains are almost gone. We bought at macy*s during a big sale last summer and saved a couple of grand, but we have a king bed, so it was still quite pricey. nevertheless, if you can afford it, i say it is worth it.

    2. My entire family has Tempurpedic mattresses, and we love them. We bought them all at once when my parents’ house burned down while I was in college, so insurance paid for them, but I definitely think they’re worth it. (Worth the price–not worth having the house burn down.)

       Some people do find that it takes them a while to adjust to the Tempurpedic–that was certainly true for my boyfriend when we combined households. Foam mattresses also tend to hold heat, so if you already find yourself feeling too warm at night, then any kind of foam mattress may not be for you. That said, I’m pretty sure that there are stay-cool mattress covers that can be used to combat this effect.

       I’m pretty sure other ladies here have raved about memory foam toppers (maybe even the ones from Costco?). If you’re unsure about taking the plunge for a full-on memory foam mattress, that might be a good intermediate step.

    3. I don’t know about worth the hype, but my husband has significant back problems and our mattress has helped him actually sleep. I do not find that ours retains the heat (we’ve had it for a couple years now). I think we both sleep deeper and it does make it easier on the other when one of us wakes early (for example, I leave for early flights often and my getting out of bed rarely wakes him). I think that we fall alseep sooner than on a spring mattress, but that may be in my head.

    4. Hate them. They make lady garden parties hot and difficult. No bounce.

    5. We bought one a couple years ago because my husband was searching for better sleep and thought it would help. I wasn’t convinced, but agreed. And now I love it! I sleep so well on it and miss it when I travel. While it is expensive, it does last longer than a traditional mattress. I tend to be cold while sleeping so I like that it retains heat. My husband just kicks off his covers if he becomes warm.

    6. I thought I wanted one, but found them to be too soft. Instead we ended up with a gel top (which I love so far).

11. Ladies, I need help. Perhaps I’m dumb but I can’t manage to make mint do what I want it to do. I’d like it to ‘forget’ my transactions before and let me start fresh. Any clue how to do that?

    1. No advice, but I totally thought you were talking about the plant until I reached the word “transactions” and now I really want a mint julep.

       1. Damn, now I want a mint julep!

          1. That would make this whole budgeting thing much more enjoyable

    2. I’m not sure you can do that. But you can start budgeting from this month forward. You also can’t adjust budgets from previous months, to like classify your expenses.

       And Mint’s customer service is pretty lacking. :(

    3. Delete and re-add the accounts you want to start fresh with. I found this out accidentally once when Sallie Mae wouldn’t refresh…lost all of my payment history for a few years. :/

12. My husband found this and suggested I pass it on to my friends on thissite: http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/tuesday-dar-31.jpg

    1. That is AMAZING! (And so, so creepy.)

    2. Ok, that’s damn funny.

    3. Ah I love this.

    4. Yay for a Chive reference!

       1. So I tolerate that my DH likes to waste time with Chive, but how do you get over all the scantily-clad women? I just feel bad for all those nice girls who are submitting really revealing pictures of themselves to the Internet for all the world to see.

          He showed me a picture on facebook of a gorgeous (and innocent!) teenage cousin of mine wearing a KCCO tshirt. I screamed into the computer, “NOooooooo!!!! You’d better not submit pictures of yourself!!!!!”

13. Apropos of the yikes/frumpy question, some advice please: I am generally a conservative dresser focused on comfort & looking professional and my wardrobe consists of work clothes (shirts, sweaters, pants, knee length skirts and dresses) and weekend clothes (skinny jeans, tees, a printed A line skirt or two).
    I realized I don’t have a single s*xy outfit for date night with husband. My sizing has stabilized post-baby, and I can’t remember the last time I wore something smoking hot. What are the kids wearing to go clubbing these days? What would you buy if you were me? (tiny A-cup post breastfeeding, so not much cleavage to show unfortunately, pear shaped).

    1. I’d look at a backless dress from Asos. They have tons of mid-range dresses that would work.

    2. What about a sequiny halter top to wear with nice jeans and heels? Or a figure-skimming low cut dress (the thing about being small up top is that you can wear a plunging neckline without it being obscene)? Also, I don’t know about your husband, but I’m always surprised by which of my clothes my husband finds the sexiest. If you want to be sexy for your husband, and not just feel sexy yourself (which is totally legit, but it sometimes is a different outfit), I’d ask him what clothes you have that are his favorite (or what clothes you’ve owned in the past — I guarantee he remembers a few that you wore out on dates before you were married that made him think “WOW!”) and then go find something similar.

14. any ladies tezch themselves perl? or python? what did you feel like you needed to know? my unix skillz are pretty rusty, should I brush up on that first? TIA!

    1. I’ve taught myself both, and I personally find python WAY more intuitive, but I guess it depends on your background. When teaching myself a new language what helps me most is a concrete problem I need to solve. Otherwise I can’t make myself do online tutorials or read a book or whatever (though I know that works for others). I don’t think unix skills really matter, except for downloading the installing the libraries- but you can easily get .dmgs (for mac) or .msi (for windows), which installs the libraries in the right place in /usr/bin.

       So if there’s any way you can incorporate, say, python into something you need to do at work, that’s probably the best way to learn. Python has great modules for plotting (pylab/matplotlib), accessing MySQL (MySQLdb) and math/matrix manipulation (scipy,numpy). If any of your work involves these tasks, I’d just switch from whatever you are currently using and try doing it in python. good luck :)

       1. thank you! that is awesomely helpful!

    2. Hey, another tech gal here, awesome.

       I use perl regularly for all nifty, quick scripting needs, it is quite a powertool once you get hang of it. Same as Annon above, I would highly recommend learning a new language using concrete problems, starting with fairly simply ones.
       For perl, I found the book “Learning Pearl” by Randall Schwartz very helpful. Also perl tutorials here http://perldoc.perl.org/index-tutorials.html are great, definitely review ones on data structures, regular expressions and references, gives a good understanding of perl language constructs. Happy Coding !

15. PSA: I’m currently reading the book, “Your Best Birth” by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. I’m finding it very interesting and helpful in formulating my thoughts with respect to my birth plan. It seems to be pretty balanced in presenting the available options and recognizing that depending on what is important to you, you might prefer hospital setting vs. something else. Highly recommended reading if you are wanting to do research.

16. One of my freshmen forgot to come to class this morning so his friend called him to remind him. He showed up in pajamas and a bunny hat (like this: http://www.amazon.com/Hat-imals-White-Bunny-Plush-Winter/dp/B004CT5PSC). Kids…

    1. Seriously?

       Also, not a hat I’d reach for in 90 degree weather.

       1. Yes, seriously.

    2. Those are huge in my area. The kids love ’em. They were a big hit at last year’s state fair, and they’ve been wearing them ever since.

    3. Confessions – I have a koala bear one and I bought my husband a penguin one.

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