Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Clove Pleated Chiffon Midi Skirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
If you had told me a few years ago that you had an office-appropriate, pleated midi skirt, I would have been skeptical. In the last few months, though, I’ve seen several women in a wide range of ages pull it off in a way that looks super chic and not too casual. I think the trick is to keep it super structured on top (think of your most classic-looking blazer) and wear a very polished-looking shoe (not the time for a rounded-toe ballet flat).
This skirt is $110 and available in UK sizes 4–14. It also comes in turquoise. Clove Pleated Chiffon Midi Skirt
Nordstrom's Halogen line has a pleated midi skirt that's on sale for $59.25 and comes in many colors and prints; Universal Standard offers one at Nordstrom that's available in sizes 14W/16W to 30W/32W and is $150.
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Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
Good morning! If you’re reading this you are breathing and have electricity. From here just take it one step at a time. You’ve got this!
Thank you for this!
Thanks, but I’m not ok. I know that 99% of people have it worse than me but I’m having really, really dark thoughts. I’m really not sure I’m going to be able to do this for the long haul. I’m not sure I want to.
I’m sending you big hugs, Anonymous at 9:14 am. This sucks a lot, and will take a while, but like everything else is temporary. Eventually we will be through this. I hope you feel better.
Crisis Text Line is the free, 24/7, confidential text message service for people in crisis. Text HOME to 741741 in the United States.
It’s okay to not be okay, if that makes sense: there is no part of this situation that is actually okay. If you are concerned about the place your thoughts are taking you and if you’re feeling like you aren’t sure about wanting to go forward, remember that you can always talk to someone at 1-800-273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
Have you thought about planning regular skype dates/dinners with people you love? Scheduling social time, even when you can’t be in the same room, will do wonders. I do this with my best friends regularly. We calendar a night where we make dinner and grab a glass of wine and eat and chat in a three way dinner date at least once a month – and now more frequently as we are stuck at home.
I’m so, so sorry. Is there anyone you can reach out to? Or a helpline?
We’re all here for you! If you need to talk, let me know!
If I thought phone calls and texts and the internet were a sufficient substitute for the type of human interaction that I’m desperately needing, things wouldn’t seem so dark. But they aren’t. And everyone pretending that they are is so deeply painful that I can’t stop sobbing. But thanks.
Then you need to go to someone’s house and be with someone. Social distancing is absolutely necessary right now, but for you it is absolutely necessary that you go sit with someone. Wash your hands, don’t cough on anyone, but if you are in this dark of a place, it is worth the trade off of going to see a friend for an hour.
Do you have a therapist? I’m worried about you- this seems like it’s beyond the loneliness and fear that so many of us are feeling right now. If you don’t have a therapist, please consider reaching out to a crisis line or even your PCP. They’re busy, but I think you need additional support.
I’m having a day like that too. Can’t stop thinking about everything we’ve lost in just a week and how it’s just going to get worse for so long. Telephone and a Skype aren’t a substitute, Youtube work out videos aren’t a substitute, solo walks in deserted woods aren’t a substitute. I miss so many things and so many people already and it’s been barely a week. And I seem to be surrounded by people who delight in talking about worst case scenarios no matter how much I ask them not to, and people who make it seem like a crime if I want to go to the grocery store.
So sorry you feel this way. Can you take a walk with a friend … ensuring that you stay apart from one another? I am doing this with a friend and it is critical for mental health. And I’m an introvert who could easily go without talking to anybody. Can you Skype/FaceTime loved ones?
This is not an acceptable way of life for me. And I keep reading that it gets worse.
Dear Anonymous, I suspect you are the same person who is popping up here every morning to spread positivity. I appreciate you! You are making my days better.
+1!
Same here. Thank you!
Opened Corporette hoping I’d see the lovely morning message. Thank you!
I’m trying to appreciate the message, but honestly it can be a little jarring to have that in your face positivity as the first post each day. I know that’s on me and I’m really glad it’s helpful for others, but it’s a tough situation right now and sometimes it helps me to just acknowledge that and not put a veneer on it. I hope that I feel better and can appreciate it in a few days. Wanted to put that out there in case anyone else is having a hard time being positive too.
I hear you, and it’s kind of cheesy, and I have thought maybe it’s over the top. But, I am kind of talking to myself here if that makes any sense? I’m afraid too.
We’re all in this together. I’m gonna keep posting as long as I can. And you don’t have to feel any kind of way about it, your feelings are valid.
I appreciate you more than you know.
Thanks for being cool about it. Keep posting and I’ll get to a place where I can appreciate it.
I look forward to it.
Thanks for this (and thanks for the positive people too). I wouldn’t say I am overly negative, but it is hard for me to think positive things. Having video chats with friends and family isn’t going to change the fact that people are sick and a small fraction are dying, and we are likely to be in social isolation/business closed for at least a month if not longer. This is also going to have unimaginable effects on the economy overall and small businesses in particular. People are going to lose their jobs/not get paid and struggle to make ends meet in the very near future. And for the more fortunate, like most of the people who post here, people’s retirement plans and college savings plans will be changed. I am also disappointed in the behavior I have seen from those around me like hoarding and frantic buying of things, but as I have gotten older my faith humanity has been on a steady decline anyways.
My glimmer of hope is my husband and the wonderful attorneys and staff at my law firm – I miss them a lot because they are great people, but we are moving our cases forward from our homes. We’re still doing filings.
We’re still doing trial prep for when we resume normality. And I am particularly happy we’ve been able to actually get a couple depositions scheduled remotely (i.e., the witness and attorneys all joining via video from our homes). There is a lot white collar professionals can do remotely, and I am glad I work with people who want to push forward too. It is good for our business and our sanity.
It would be hard to overstate just how important this site is to me right now. I’m home all alone, and have been for days. I do call family and friends, but this site is a huge part of my social interaction at the moment. It’s making me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you to everyone and let’s all be nice to each other. You are all OFFICIALLY my FRIENDS until further notice hah!
I’m here for that! *friendly elbow bump*
+1!
Same here! I have really looked forward to checking the site every morning to see how everyone is doing.
I totally understand! This is a bright spot in my day, when the rest of my life is in upheaval. (My partner got laid off and we are now living together and I’m now the sole provider for us both. He loved his job, so this isn’t a good thing. Plus I have to work so I can’t entertain him all day. I’m stressing about everything but am trying to be positive for him. I just keep reminding myself we are healthy and safe and together and that’s what matters. So I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories and reminding me that I’m not the only one feeling stressed and overwhelmed and scared. I appreciate all of you more than you know!)
Socially distanced hugs!
Hooray for the Imaginary Internet Friends!!
Sending big imaginary internet hugs to all of you!
yes, and it’s like my routine when I’m stressed at work or slow at work or whatnot, so i’m very thankful for the community here.
hugs!
Yes, we still do have a lot to be thankful for, even in these stressful times in NYC. I wonder why DiBlazzio wants to Quarantine us when Coumo doesn’t. I need to get my 10,000 steps OUTSIDE, and even if I don’t go walking with anyone, I should still be abel to walk along the river if no one bothers me down there. Dad wants me to come home to LI and I am considering it if they make me stay alone in my apartement. FOOEY on that!
Thank you for the reminder!
Like many others, I feel like I am trying to keep a veneer of sanity for everyone else’s sake but inside I’m melting in horror. But – but – I’ve started making post-it note pictures on our windows every morning to make the neighbors smile, and as stupid as it sounds, it sure makes a difference. The kids next door get a giggle out of it, it occupies all of us for a few minutes, and it makes us all smile.
I love this idea!
So thoughtful. Our neighborhood is hanging art in windows so kids can have something to look for on their walks and it helps. Other people are putting Christmas lights back up.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, we just had a 5.7 earthquake this morning (Salt Lake). I am beyond freaked out right now. But I am breathing. And we do have electricity (for now).
I just saw that in the news. What terrible timing; I hope you are all okay!
Finally my years as a hermit are paying off? I don’t like crowds, always keep way too much food in the house (leftover from my upbringing where you had to hoard when things were available because everything would disappear regularly), and have been working from home for years except client meetings every few months. I have exactly one friend I meet in person with semi-regularly which we will keep doing. Reading your guys’ thoughts on suddenly living my life is making me finally have some understanding of what I’ve been missing out on. I’m honestly surprised how social you all are and thought that life was mostly on TV.
How is everyone feeling about ordering non-essential things online right now?
I would really like a monitor to add to my laptop to make my work from home easier but I feel terrible that someone is going to have to go to work and risk getting sick to get it to me. My other option is going to the staples store that is walking distance from my house.
It’s totally non-essential. I’m not going to stores or ordering online for any other non-essentials. What should I do??
Honey I blew up Nordstrom Rack this morning. I need something to look forward to. I am hoping the warehouse people are not in as much danger as retail. Amazon is doing a big hire of warehousers. I didn’t order rush shipping.
Amazon workers just sounded the alarm about no preventative measures at their workplace.
This is what I’m concerned about. I don’t shop on Amazon and am not about to start, but I’m not sure that staples or whatever is much better.
I think online is better than in person if you’re worried about protecting people. And it’s highly unlikely anyone is going in to work just because you ordered a monitor, they’re either there or they aren’t.
I also think it’s probably good for the economy if people don’t just stop shopping (at the risk of sounding like W). I do wonder about the wisdom of shopping a lot given the economic uncertainty. There’s some great deals out there and I kind of want take advantage but I also wonder if I should be more frugal because no one knows how this will all go.
”And it’s highly unlikely anyone is going in to work just because you ordered a monitor, they’re either there or they aren’t.“
This isn’t true. They have staff there to meet demand, if you are causing demand, you’re creating the need for them to be there. And yeah, one person buying one monitor isn’t that much, but it adds up.
Not that I think online ordering is a bad thing, I just want to point out that your economics is wrong.
Gee, thanks for pointing that out Captain Obvious
personally I would order it online. Requires the fewest in-person interactions — by you, or by workers. You can even have the delivery person just leave it at your door without opening it to accept. While not “essential” in that you don’t need it to live, having a monitor (and real keyboard and mouse!) will help prevent headaches, eye strain, and backaches from hunching over a laptop for 4+ weeks…
FWIW, Amazon is hiring 100,000 new employees to deal with the influx of online orders (especially for household goods), and is specifically targeting hourly workers who are temporarily furloughed from their jobs.
Wow, that’s great. Go Amazon (for once).
I can’t help but think that they are treating their workers as disposable, and doing nothing to preserve their health, so now they feel it’s a good business decision to stock up on workers, because they anticipate loosing a lot.
Oh, good point. Damn. I was so ready to cheer for them doing the right thing for once.
sorry to get you down! There are things to be hopeful about! In the bay area, university campuses and biotech firms are collaborating with clinical labs to round up more sequencing equipment and skilled people, hopefully allowing the testing capabilities to ramp up significantly. Hospitals are sharing video tutorials on youtube on how to hook up several patients to one ventilator (if they are all confirmed infections, of course), multiplying the capacity. Community networks are matching people, especially older people that need to self-isolate, with volunteers to assist them. A lot of people want to do the right thing!
I see both sides. Amazon might be giving jobs to people who have lost them due to restaurants closing, etc. If Amazon can get them through until things return to some semblance of normal, I appreciate it.
I’m ordering online but am limiting my Amazon purchases because I don’t think they treat their employees well (and even if I choose no rush shipping, it’s still 2-3 days between the warehouse and my house, it’s just longer from order date to delivery date, so I don’t think it helps the employees at all). The warehouse and delivery drivers are contractors and the news reports I’ve read are that they work under extreme stress without real breaks and safety precautions.
I know I’m a Costco evangelist, but they have good quality products and they treat their employees well with benefits and sick leave. I’m definitely paying attention to things like that since I have the privilege to choose who to buy from.
Nordstrom has 25% off almost everything on their site right now. And I am thankful that they proactively closed all stores for in-person shopping, even though it is not required yet
I am blowing up Nordstrom.com right now when I should be working. My favorite frivolous indulgence is Diptyque and I seriously don’t think I have ever seen it on sale before now. I have also ordered cat food from Amazon. I have mixed feelings.
I am really wondering about this too. My kids need new clothes for the warmer weather, but it’s not urgent. Is it okay to place an order on Carters or Gap or wherever? I won’t if I think I’m gumming up the works or placing people at increased risk by placing non-essential orders, but I can’t tell. I also don’t want to contribute to folks being laid off… Ugh no good answers.
I got a monitor and keyboard from Best Buy yesterday – I preordered so it was a quick pickup with minimal interaction. There was a huge line outside the store, though – they were only letting people in a few at a time. I’d see if Staples will put it together for you so you can just grab and go.
I’ve also been ordering things from Amazon, etc. right now – leaving something on my doorstep requires no personal interaction.
My thought is that online ordering is fine for things that will substantially improve your quality of life while at home, whether that’s a monitor or a chef’s knife or a yoga mat. Same for things you’d buy anyways, like summer clothes for your kids.
Personally, I’m trying to avoid online shopping because it becomes a bad habit for me. I could see myself stress-spiraling like when I was studying for the bar and spent a couple thousand dollars on stuff I didn’t need, much of which I never wore. That type of shopping is bad for the planet, bad for my budget, doesn’t actually improve my mental health, and, specifically at this point, could contribute to the spread of the virus. (But the first three reasons are enough.)
I totally understand the urge to shop for non-essentials and frankly it’s crossed my mind too, as I work from home this week and see all those enticing retail emails…but I am married to a UPS driver and they are positively SLAMMED right now with no sign of letting up. (He delivered 160 rolls of toilet paper to someone yesterday, LOL.) I’m 100% not saying “don’t order anything” and I am grateful for his job security, but this will be a very stressful time for him and his colleagues. It’s a tough job.
+1 My Mom’s a mail carrier, and I know that she was relieved to finally be past the holiday online ordering crunch. I’m sure she’s going to be delivering packages like it’s mid-December for a while now…
I hope that whoever he was delivering 160 rolls of toilet paper to was a healthcare center or nursing home, not an individual person.
You’d think…but nope! A household.
Idk I ordered a computer from Dell. I need it for my next phase of work because unfortunately my job is ending soon. I need to be able to do contract work to support my family.
I know the economy needs us to keep spending, and many workers are paid hourly so they need it too, but if their working conditions don’t protect them from covid…. it’s a tough situation and I’m not sure what the answer is.
I just don’t have the appetite for it. I can’t get excited about new clothes or makeup or shoes when I can’t see the need for them in the near future. Hopefully my PMS is just making this worse and I’ll be more inspired in a week, I should be taking advantage of deals, is there anything amazing ( plz no $150 blankets…) . I heard a piece on NPR last week that in Wuhan at week 3 people got used to it and it didn’t feel so bad, they figured out how to make this situation enjoyable. So I keep telling everyone that we just have to get to week 3….
Speaking as someone who used to work in a distribution center, the people filling your order are largely hourly employees who get laid off without pay (and sometimes without benefits) if orders stop coming in. There is also a whole supply chain ecosystem of people whose jobs depend on e-commerce. So I’ll be continuing to shop online.
Has anyone on here flown domestically in the past 2 weeks or so when things started getting crazy? We got some bad news about someone very close to my husband yesterday and he is considering flying for a visit. They live a very long 2 day drive from us so driving is possible, but not ideal.
He’s young, healthy, and would of course take as many precautions as possible. if planes and airports have been super empty, there’s probably less risk than a couple weeks ago when it was silently spreading. The problem is I’m pregnant (so I’m not going), and the people he would be visiting are in the higher risk population. It is important for him to go, but I’m thinking if he is super careful in the airport, and then changes and showers as soon as he arrives there and home he could minimize the risk. WWYD? We have some time to let virus developments play out, but not more than a month.
My OB has advised that neither I nor my partner should fly right now, FWIW. I’m 25w6d.
I flew for the last time about 10 days ago, which was back when things were still operating normally. The airports were busy (not abnormally so) and the planes were full or nearly full. If I were your husband, I would drive. I think things will be worse a month from now.
If he decides to go, on return he should self isolate from you for the 14 days.
I’m guessing a parent is terminal, in which case I’d go and isolate post-return. But I would go if it is a “going to say goodbye” and possibly plan to drive back (although I bet that the germ load from a long trip = germ load from plane, so perhaps no need but flights might get cancelled).
I would do neither. I’m Chicago area and Midway is operating less because 3 air traffic control we’re positive. And I wouldn’t want to stay at a hotel and use a bunch of public bathrooms on the way. Given patterns of closing restaurants and sheltering I’m place, I’d be nervous about getting stuck somewhere along the way without resources. And I wouldn’t want to be sick (as a lot of us are likely to be at some point in the next few months) among vulnerable populations if I could help it. If it were life and death I guess I’d take the chance of flying. But I’d really, really do neither.
As an anecdote, a relative flew yesterday and had a completely full flight. The airline had canceled a couple flights and consolidated.
Don’t go. WTF. Stay home. It’s a clear guideline. He can’t pop over for a visit. Yes it is extremely sad. But that’s where we are.
+1 perhaps because I’m sheltering in place, this sounds absolutely insane
Sadly I agree with this. I’m almost certainly closer to the parent’s age than yours, and I will tell you if you were my kids I would tell you not to come under these circumstances. Stay home and take care of yourselves and your coming baby.
Do you mean that it’s a long drive that takes two days, or that it would take two long days? (For example, most people would drive 900 miles in two days, but that’s not the same as a 1,600 mile trip that would be two long days on the road.) If it’s the former, drive. Pack the car with food, water, wipes, etc.
My mom flew this past weekend. I think it was the wrong decision for her (given that she’s over 60) but she said the actual flights were fine, in fact, it was really smooth with so few people.
Missing the point. It’s the wrong decision because she could be spreading it to others. Selfish.
Everybody on the plane with her also made a voluntary choice to get on a plane, and her reasons were much more valid than wanting to go on vacation, so you can f&ck right off.
I’m with you on this.
Girl you need to calm right down, it’s morning and we don’t know you, stop to stuff so personally. But they are right, virtually no reason, save you are a doctor or epidemiologist going to save the world, is a valid reason to travel. Go outside, geez.
Sorry I don’t take kindly to people calling my mom “selfish as f*ck.” You seem lovely.
It’s not about having valid reasons or not. The ONLY way we can get this under control is if EVERYONE takes the risk seriously and modifies behavior. Have you seen what’s happening in Italy? Or Iran? There are so many deaths, so quickly, and for the sake of keeping the risks down people can’t even have funerals.
“Everybody on the plane with her also made a voluntary choice to get on a plane”
But the people they’ll later interact with didn’t, and the people your mom will later interact with didn’t. The person who is turned away from an ICU bed because someone infected by the people on that plane got there first didn’t. It’s not about any given individual’s risk tolerance.
+1.
Exactly, selfish AF right now. Stay home.
It was selfish AF for my mom to fly to see her dying sister? You’re all terrible people. Have some compassion for people who are in this awful situation.
Actually yes, yes it was. Is it sad? Very. Should she have gone? No. Lots of people have sad situations that they are dealing with. I’m sorry but your Mom and her sister are special only to them and you and no one else. Your dying aunt is no more sad than any other person who may die thanks to your Mom’s travels.
My mom is self-quarantining for 14 days now that she’s home. No one is going to die as a result of her travels. If you’ve never been in this situation, you can’t judge my mom or OP. Take a seat.
Anon at 10:29 – you have no idea if anyone will die as a result of her travels. None. It was selfish. Sad, as others have said, absolutely. But sorry, it was selfish.
Actually, Anon @ 10:29, you’re missing the point. The incubation period + lack of testing is such that your mom could be infected and not showing symptoms at the time of travel, thereby spreading it to dozens of others by flying. So her self-quarantining is good, we should ALL be doing that regardless (and for longer than 14 days) but doesn’t mitigate the damage she’s potentially caused by flying. You sound uninformed.
Completely disagree. Seeing a dying loved one is essential. It’s not like a wedding or even a funeral that can be postponed. There are only so many tomorrows. I would go.
If the loved one is dying in a hospital or nursing home, would a visitor even be allowed in?? All the nursing homes and hospitals here have said absolutely no visitors. Only two exceptions: Parent of a minor child in the hospital, or ONE support person for a laboring mother.
You know what’s also deadly and carried by people who don’t know they have it? AIDS. A million Americans have the disease. But I don’t see any shaming of people who engage in unprotected s-x (which is far less essential to live than seeing a dying relative).
Get over yourselves.
So a little extra perspective on the person close to him.. It’s his dad and a bad health diagnosis where time could be short. We are risking things getting worse with the coronavirus and baby arrival if we wait too long.
Drive-wise, it’s about 1,100 miles or 17 hours not including stops. He has done it before, but there’s all the exposure from gas pumps, staying 1 night in a hotel, etc. He can certainly bring snacks, water, and sleep in his car overnight if it’s really risky out. There’s no avoiding the gas pump though!
I understand wanting to see your very ill dad. However, will they even allow visitors? A lot of medical facilities are really on lockdown right now.
This is a very good point.
OP, I am so sorry for you and your husband. My dad was dying in hospital during SARS (which was a serious crisis in Toronto) and it made an already horrible situation so much worse.
I’m so sorry; condolences to you and your husband. On the travel, I totally understand why he wants to go. There isn’t a risk-free way to do it, so it’s just a matter of which one you both feel most comfortable with. I agree with one of the previous posters, though – when he returns, he should isolate himself from you for 14 days. Seriously, no contact.
Honestly I’d fly. He’s regret it forever if his dad died and he didn’t see him.
+1.
+2
I would too. This is essential travel to me.
I would drive.
+1
same. i’d fly. i flew 10 days ago as well, from one region that had no confirmed cases to another (though now we’re all finding out that was because nobody was being tested :/…) and given your facts (assuming husband isn’t part of an at-risk group), I’d go.
Glove or cloth between hand and gas pump? That’s what I did yesterday.
Physician spouse says: Wear disposable gloves to pump gas and then throw the gloves away.
I would fly there ASAP and drive back (rental car; wear gloves at the pump – that’s what I’ve been doing). I flew about 2 weeks ago to Chicago and airports/planes were full. I barely saw anyone in masks. But then this all seemed to have exploded recently. I would likely isolate from you for the 2 weeks after or see if he could get tested upon his return. My city is doing drive-thru testing with a doctor’s order. I’m also pregnant but my husband and I only stopped going to work 2 days ago. We take precautions but it’s impossible to avoid all contact. I’ve got 12 weeks to go.
When are you due? The main concerns for you, according to my OB and some information they’ve shared with me are (i) pregnant women have, for most of their pregnancies, depressed immune function and in particular are more susceptible to respiratory illness; (ii) pregnant women are less-able to self-isolate because, among other things, you have mandatory prenatal care appointments; and (iii) if you are positive when you deliver the current best practice is mandatory c-section + isolation from your new baby for two weeks. Therefore, you’re more likely to get severely ill and if you are ill when you deliver, it’s not good.
You’re looking at a scenario where your husband would fly and then, if his dad is terminal, I assume have to visit a healthcare facility which means higher risk of exposing himself as well as higher risk related to bringing in germs to which he’s been exposed in travel. That said, the emotional/mental health impact of not seeing his father before his passing would also be terrible, so I understand why he wants to go.
Candidly, even if he drives, I would likely suggest he isolate from you when he returns, because he’s likely visiting a hospital. If he flies, I think he definitely should. Washing his hands and clothes before he comes back into the house doesn’t really do anything. Handwashing is to reduce his own risk of infection – the danger to you is that he’s already an asymptomatic carrier when he returns, not that there are germs on his hands or clothes.
I thought that the guidelines on mandatory c-section and isolation had already changed. Where are you seeing that that’s still the standard?
That’s what my OB told me as of last Friday. It feels like the world is changing hourly right now…
So that’s another wrinkle is he’s not in a locked down hospice type care yet and currently could have visitors. Waiting a month… who knows.
And please everyone be nice. I’m not happy to be pregnant with a dying father in law across the country and having to weigh the risks and benefits to everyone involved. We are all being forced to make extremely difficult decisions right now.. It’s easy to judge people for visiting dying family and friends when the biggest impact to your life might be not visiting your favorite gym/restaurant.
It’s really not a matter of IF he is going at this point. It’s a matter of when and how that reduce risk to those involved. Neither location is in a current hotspot and we aren’t under a shelter in place order. Go now and see him under current known conditions or wait it out for when things for his dad and the virus might be even worse. It’s an impossible call to make and there is risk no matter what.
He should go now. There is so much uncertainty for everyone, but especially for your family right now.
Sending you some giant hugs. This has been a hard year for just about everyone, it seems. I’ve found a lot of comfort in my family, and I hope your husband will, too.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I may be the voice of dissent here, but if I were him I would absolutely go, and I’d drive unless there was a really compelling reason not to. Basically, he should do everything he can to reduce risk and take all the precautions. For whatever it’s worth, I don’t think it’s an impossible call to make. I would 100% go and there is literally nothing that would get in my way. You can do that and still be thoughtful about the current situation and reducing the risk he poses to others.
I’m so sorry you’re in this difficult situation.
If possible, in addition to all the usual hand-washing and not-touching-face recommendations, your husband should try to procure and wear masks (even if he can’t get his hands on a N95) during his trip for the full duration of his trip AT ALL TIMES except when he is entirely by himself — in the airport, plane, hospital, restrooms, all public places — to minimize his risk of getting infected. Certain countries in Asia are recommending or mandating people to wear masks whenever in public (and many have successfully curtailed the spread through such measures, among others), and at home if a member of the household is infected. As someone else posted, masks actually do work even when worn by the public — why else would CDC recommend them for healthcare professionals? They don’t magically lose their protective properties because a non-professional is wearing them. You can learn to wear them properly — not touching the outside of the mask (which is contaminated) and instead removing it by the strings, making sure the mask fits around your chin and nose with as little of a gap as possible, etc.
On the timing, we all hope for a quick resolution, but as someone living in Korea I think the situation in the US will get much much worse before it gets better (unless the US changes approach very quickly). In Korea the entire country has been recommended to socially distance since the end of January (but no lockdown or panic-buying, other than school closures and shortage of now-government-rationed masks), and has been aggressively tracking, isolating, and testing every case who is so much as suspected of coming into contact with a confirmed case for just as long. New cases have sharply dropped, but the situation still isn’t fully controlled at 8 weeks later.
If he’s going to go, I’d drive. I think they might ground planes shortly, or severely limit routes, or institute domestic quarantines for those who do fly. I heard a public health expert on NPR saying driving is the way to go right now. Load up with stuff to make the driving as comfortable as possible, bring single-use latex gloves for getting gas/using restrooms/any interactions at all, and self-quarantine for 14 days when he returns home. Sorry you have to deal with this on top of an already incredibly stressful situation.
This sounds super super hard. Wishing the best to all of you.
Go and go now. You stay home. You’re making the best decisions you can for you, your family and your baby. FIL passed away when I was 37 weeks pregnant. It was sudden, he was a flight away. It was impossible, and those were under ‘normal’ circumstances. You have all of my sympathy. Happier times are ahead. Make the decision you need to and shut out everyone else right now. This is not a time to seek out permission to do what needs to be done.
Adding another voice to the this is ok, as someone that got back a bit ago from seeing their grandma who is not in good health. If I was him, I would leave at 4am and drive straight through. It’s a brutal drive on your own but probably the safest way to do it.
Domestic Flying: When my father was in a hospital for the last time a few years ago, with the heart condition that took his life three weeks later, one of my techy youger cousins came by to see him while my husband and I were there. She said that her grandmother, my father’s sister, wanted to talk to him. That sister lives in Europe, and my father was dying in the U.S. The cousin borrowed my iPad, got her grandmother on Facetime, and my aunt was able to talk to her brother one last time. Aside from the fact that it was heart-breaking, the Facetime call worked really well. My aunt was at her husband’s computer while my cousin held the iPad for my father. Could you husband have a long video visit with his dad? Facetime isn’t the only possibility.
As someone whose parents came home from a vacation early a week and a half ago so that my Dad could be with his Dad in his final days, I think he needs to go. My Dad would never have gotten over missing those last few days. This would have absolutely broken my heart. Granted, the situation was different (Dad lives in the same town as Grandpa and was returning from a vacation in a then-unaffected country that he left on before the virus started spreading beyond the west coast, far from us, and things started shutting down.)
I’d suggest he drive. Pack hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes for stops at the gas station. Sleep in the car if possible. Or bring a tent and sleeping bag if not. I’d avoid hotels, for sure.
He should drive, not fly, and bring snacks from home to minimize gas station stops.
I would drive there. I am also pregnant and if I knew someone I wanted to say goodbye to, I would go visit them.
I flew cross country last week for business. Before the haters start up, it was a meeting about protecting the American public during a crisis, and the government wanted it to happen.
My experience was that the airports, and airplanes, were not crowded. Both flights had about 50 empty seats, although obviously that may change. The airports were clean, a bit quiet and calm. I did wipe down my entire seat, tray table, etc. On the flight home, Delta actually handled each passenger a wipe. Both American and Delta have information on their sites about how air filtration during flights keeps the air safe. I’m not an expert in that area but it seems reasonable.
If it was me, I would go. I’d practice all the CDC recommendations, and I’d have a plan B and C in case I had problems on the way home.
I flew on Monday, to get home from school (which was supposed to start spring break this week; I got the email that we’ll be online for the rest of the semester while I was in the air). It’s very quiet. My flight was half-empty. The TSA agents were noticeably on edge. The lines to get through security and check bags were non-existent, and the airports at both sides were deserted. The flight attendants were wearing gloves most of the time, and everything that passengers touched near the boarding gate was being sanitized.
It’s not the optimal thing to do, but sometimes we can’t do the optimal thing.
I have a diagnostic mammogram scheduled this Friday, for what most likely is a benign condition (according to my ObGyn, and a radiologist friend).
Would you go? My friend said I can go now or in 3 months, depending on the situation. I can cancel until the day before.
I’m in the Midwest with no confirmed cases in my county (I know this doesn’t mean anything due to lack of testing).
If I go, how should I protect myself? Wear a mask? Decontaminate myself before getting in my car? Shower with Lysol after???
I am most worried about waiting times, and close interaction with the medical personel (the person who’s going to squash my upper half between the plates of the machine can’t stay 6 ft away, obviously).
I postponed my routine mammo scheduled for this week until July, but I’m in the Boston area where things are a little hotter, and I’m not anxious to get a diagnosis like you might (understandably) be. Have you called your doctor/the hospital where it will take place? They might have advice for you. Take care :)
Go now. It is only going to be worse in 3 months. Get preventive care now while there is still preventive care to be had.
I would go now. If it turns out you need treatment, the longer you wait the more difficult and risky it will get.
Yes, I would go unless you’re in a high-risk category for coronavirus.
Go now. Wash your hands frequently. Don’t touch your face. Clean your hands once you are back in your car, and if you feel the need to, throw your clothes in the laundry the moment you get home.
Do not wait. I am concerned that people are unnecessarily delaying medical care (our hospitals are still in great shape), which will create a massive backlog and therefore, massive delays come the summer. The most logical thing to do is frontload all of this testing, before hospitals and medical personnel are overwhelmed, and before the virus is prevalent (in the sense of, at this point, about 20 in 1 million Americans have it, which is not the same as, say, 5,000 in a million).
Go now. Things will absolutely be worse 3 months from now.
I just want to say, I don’t think this is true. China’s already reopened and it only took a couple of months to slow down the spread. There’s encouraging news about effective treatments out of India and elsewhere. This situation is hard enough without focusing on the absolute worst-case scenario. I know it’s easy to go there when anxiety is running so high.
I hope you’re right, sincerely. But China took drastic measures that the US will not.
This.
Only if you assume China is telling the truth.
Yes, this, and we are now hearing from sources that China is not telling the truth.
I would go. If you have breast cancer 3 months can make a big difference. I am a breast cancer survivor and glad I did not postpone mine when I was initially diagnosed.
Me again. I’ve been going into MGH every 2-4 days for fertility treatments for the last three weeks. It’s remarkable how hospital procedures have evolved over these three weeks. No question they’re getting a lot stricter and it’s getting worse. Go now before it gets scary bad… three months from now things are going to look very different, and you might not even be allowed in at that point for the scan. The hospital has tons of sanitizer. I wore rubber gloves in this morning for the elevator buttons and doors to get in/out that weren’t automatic. I washed my hands hard as soon as I got home and changed my clothes. I’ve been impressed with how staff and other patients are keeping a smart distance.
I just want to add that no confirmed cases in your county is 100% irrelevant due to the testing situation. There ARE cases in your county.
Exactly this is why I am scared as hell. I am 38, but have allergic asthma, so that’s an underlying condition.
I called my ObGyn and their office is postponing all appointments for benign conditions to May. Waiting for imaging center technical supervisor to call me back with more info about the procedures and measures.
Given that my radiologist friend also thinks it’s most likely very benign, I am tending to postpone.
(I was the poster a few weeks ago asking about hormonal/cyclical lumps that are only palpable around my period.)
Gooood Wednesday morning. Behold this beautiful, perfect tweet from our Toddler in Chief at 7:45 this morning.
“I always treated the Chinese Virus very seriously, and have done a very good job from the beginning, including my very early decision to close the ‘borders’ from China – against the wishes of almost all. Many lives were saved. The Fake News new narrative is disgraceful & false!”
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1240243188708839424
Give it a rest.
Huh? Commiseration with the OP.
This is a perfectly valid thing to discuss.
No, she absolutely does not have to “give it a rest.” This situation has been abysmally handled by the “president” and if it wasn’t for leadership from mayors and governors trying to stop the spread of the virus we would still be hearing from the White House that it’s all a liberal hoax. We need to keep talking about the “president’s” ridiculous incompetence until the election (and beyond) so people understand that this is absolutely not the person we need in charge during the next national crisis.
Yes! I’m in Ohio and I’m thankful for the measures the governor has taken so far to flatten the curve.
+1 this is what the trump voters wanted.
He did NOT say that it was a hoax. Listen to the entire, unedited video.
You swallow what people tell you to swallow, then accuse the rest of us of being horrible, dumb people. You obviously don’t understand the system of government and how powers are shared between the states and federal government. You don’t understand that Trump has done a lot to slow the spread of the disease, such as shutting down travel from China when the rest of the world attacked him for it. You are stupid. You are ignorant.
Trump is our President. Not “Toddler in Chief,” not “president,” the actual President. Show the respect to him that we managed to show to the completely incompetent joke of a man who preceded him.
The Two Minutes Hate should absolutely be given a rest.
I’m sorry. I don’t remember being locked in my home and contemplating the slow painful lonely deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans and a complete global colapse while the last guy was President.
You absolutely voted for this.
The world has now literally stopped because you want to believe a racist game show host could handle anything that any black man could. You were wrong. It will kill people. People we love and won’t be permitted to comfort, grieve or mourn. Our lives will never be ok again. Good luck.
hahaha NO. You are in the wrong place honey, Infowars is thataway —->
You are a horrible, dumb person, in general, and you definitely are if you think Obama was incompetent. I don’t know what else to say to you other than I hope you don’t lose anyone to Coronavirus – but if you do, I hope you figure out who to blame for it. You can’t blame Obama; he didn’t fire the White House pandemic team. BOOM.
Nah. He’s a worthless liar and his lies need to be called out. Actually, he’s worse than worthless, he’s actively destructive on almost every level. What he is saying is utterly disgraceful.
And he didn’t even get coronavirus himself (that we know of). It’s a shame. Perhaps it would have taught him some compassion and common sense, although I’m not holding my breath.
I had a dream he was hospitalized for it last night. Am very disappointed this was a dream.
You are both awful, evil people. That Trump has enemies like you speaks well of him.
“Mean people hate Trump, therefore Trump is good” is not logically coherent. Try again.
How gross to call it the “Chinese Virus.” Ugh. I’m a not a registered Democrat and live in a state where it does make the slightest difference, but I am so blue no matter who this year.
*does not make
I can’t believe even he is still doing this, and more surprised that no one on his staff is stopping him.
Why is it gross to call it the Chinese Virus? Isn’t that what it is? It is from China and it has spread all over the world because of the Chinese? It doesn’t mean we should treat Chinese people in other countries worse (or any of the other things that are happening), but I don’t understand this point.
It’s a racist dog whistle. And it has a name : Coronavirus or COVID-19. There’s no reason to call it anything else.
+1. Modern guidelines for naming novel diseases discourage naming them after geographic locations, for exactly these reasons.
Zika and Ebola are named after places. Last I checked, no one says that it’s a “racist dog whistle” when people here ask about travel recs in light of Zika.
Anon @ 3:10pm – don’t be obtuse. You’re not fooling anyone.
Anon @3:10 – please note that I said modern. Zika was isolated and named in 1947. Ebola was identified and named in 1976.
It’s cruel to call it this when the Chinese have suffered so greatly. I’m personally happy to place blame on any wealthy oligarchs who supply the market for exotic animal body parts (I already blame them for putting endangered species at risk), but they don’t represent the people of China. It’s also clear that this language encourages both hostility towards individuals and nationalistic finger pointing.
Spread all over the world because of the Chinese? Are they SOLELY responsible for globalization and global travel?! You are also gross.
God, seriously. Alanna, this phrasing is so gross. No, not “because of the Chinese.” Because people traveled in our globalized world before anyone could have reasonably realized what was going on. That’s what viruses do. They spread. It’s a feature, not a bug. It happened to originate in China, but calling it “the Chinese virus” or saying that it spread “because of the Chinese” implies that the fact that it originated in China is some how the fault of people living there. It is not.
You are truly ignorant if you can’t see why calling it a Chinese virus is racist and harmful. Sit down and think.
Gross. “Chinese Virus”…can you be more xenophobic. Viruses know no borders (which is increasingly, and painfully, evident). I’m a Dem and very glad my Republican governor has stepped up to shut down our schools, restaurants, bars, etc when our President has failed.
China has been refusing to ship masks to US due to the trade war, and this idiot managed to impose extra import taxes on medical masks from China, which were only lifted two weeks ago!
Testing, testing, why am I in mod?
Ok never mind now it works!
A friend’s lab passed away and I’ve been asked to write something–a eulogy more than an obit. Any suggestions where/how to begin? They found the dog as a young adult, hit by a car and left, on the side of a road and it was with them for over ten years. Really lovely, golden retriever.
What an honor! Well, words of admiration and praise for the dog and for them, funny stories about the dog, and at the end, big picture comments about unconditional love, dogs as role models for that, etc.
I always send Eugene O’Neill’s Last Will and Testament of Silverdene Emblem O’Neill to everyone who has lost a dog. You could incorporate a little into your eulogy, but I’d also just send the whole thing to your friend, as well.
https://nilesanimalhospital.com/files/2012/07/The-Last-Will-and-Testament.pdf
This is beautiful. And now I’m looking at my 11.5 year old greyhound girl and sobbing.
I’m bawling. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for posting this. We said our final goodnight to our 15 yr old girl last month and I’d like to think that these were her sentiments as well.
You’re welcome, I hope it brings you some comfort (as it has brought me in the past). I’m so sorry for your loss, I know how tough it is.
This is lovely and inspirational. Thank you all.
“If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.” – James Herriot
That is so sweet of you. I would be so touched and honored for someone to do what you are doing on behalf of my beloved dog (who I pretend is immortal because I don’t want to face the thought of her loss!)
They are having a funeral for a dog? With a euology? Or is this more of a “sending out beautiful words in an email to loved ones” sort of thing?
And if they are, what’s it to you? Maybe it’s just with their family and one or two friends, so very little infection risk.
I read this this morning and it looks really good now that actual scientists have looked at one of the cruise ships (to me: floating petri dishes on a good day).
https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.03.05.20031773v2.full.pdf
I honestly think that there is an iceberg out there of non-awful cases out there in the world and that the #s are driven from a sample of the most sick. My heart is breaking for people who are sick and people who care for them and people who are worried about having the $ to feed their children (assuming they can find anything in stores) or may be losing their businesses or houses.
I mean, that is 100% what is happening, no question about it. It’s absolutely terrible.
This isn’t news. It’s known that a massive majority of cases are not serious and also are not currently diagnosed in countries that aren’t testing widely. Only a small percentage of cases are dangerous. But a small percentage of a massive number is enough to overwhelm inadequate healthcare systems, which is what’s happened in Italy.
I think the news it its relative non-spread, especially among older groups in a non-clean non-distancing captive environment.
Where I live, people act like the sky is falling. Like we will need to shelter in place. I think if you look at the cruise ship and how South Korea has been doing it, that is fantastic. What I’d be interested in reading is something about why Italy and South Korea are so different. Where did Italy go wrong and South Korea get it right? Is it that there are a much higher % of older Italians in contact with more people there (vs other places — in the US our elderly are often isolated and aren’t visited daily by family that goes out and about in a germy world)?
I would suggest googling this. There are plenty of articles.
My understanding is that South Korea practiced containment thanks to massive amounts of testing from early on. They also used cell phone location data history to check where people who tested positive had been, and they alerted and tested people that were in close contact with them. They also had much, much more personal protective equipment stockpiled, so doctors and nurses didn’t become vectors or succumb to viral load. Basically they were much better prepared than Italy, acted sooner, and took things much more seriously.
Is there anyone else here living in IL-03? I am so happy with the election results in our district and wanted to share the joy. This race got national attention as the incumbent is a dem who voted against ACA, didn’t endorse Obama, and opposed gay marriage. Our new rep (to be confirmed in November) is a progressive woman (and friend).
That’s fantastic news! Thanks to everyone who voted yesterday. :)
IDK what that district is but I am shocked that Kim Foxx didn’t get voted out.
ME TOO
OMG . I know! I just can’t believe it. (I’m in the burbs so not my election.) The only thing I can think of is that a lot of votes so far down the ballet are made by people who really aren’t familiar with the candidates. She was in the news so much that maybe folks recognized the name but not what it is aligned with? Just crazy to me.
I am guessing you are not from Cook County, because if you had seen the competition, you would know why Foxx won the nomination. If there were a reasonable other candidate in the Democratic field I would have considered voting for that person, but since I think the Smollett issue was wildly overblown as was used as a scapegoat for other progressive positions Foxx has taken, I wasn’t chomping at the bit to vote her out.
Seriously. I voted for Conway just to get her out, but doesn’t seem like all his spending had an impact.
The SA office is a total cesspool and embarrassment to the city. First it was Anita Alvarez suppressing a video of cops shooting an unarmed kid, then Kim Foxx goes wildly in the other direction in its discretion to not prosecute a lot of cases. Agreed Jesse Smollett was overblown, but she’s been a train wreck before and since.
I am! I voted for her, and specifically went out to vote for her and Biden. If I get coronavirus from my polling place I will be pissed, though.
Live downtown, not your district, but have been watching and rooting for her! Woo hoo, you are lucky to count her as a friend!
I’m in IL-04 but have been following this primary closely. Elated Newman prevailed!
I’m so happy for you! IL-6 but my MIL lives in IL-3 and I’ve supported Marie for 2+ years. Congratulations!
High five to you from IL 09 !
High-five to you from IL-06! (Sean Casten)
So biggest takeaway for me so far during this Coronavirus crisis: I had always thought the ultimate dream would be to work from home 100% and being able to do that would be awesome. We are into Day 2 of full-time WFH for my office and it is decidedly not awesome. I miss going to work. I never, ever thought I would say that in a million years. I am much more distracted working at home, even though I sequestered myself in our home office away from my husband and kid.
How are other folks feeling? Are you thumbs-up or thumbs-down on full-time WFH, if this is new for you?
i do not think this is a regular WFH situation. in normal times, DH could go to work, kid could go to school, you could go work in a coffee shop or take a break somewhere else or go to the gym to get some human interaction. this is the total opposite of that
+1.
This. Also, normally when I work from home, I am not worried about my family in various parts of the world and an inevitable illness hanging over our heads.
This. I’ve WFH full time before and it’s fine, not being able to love normally is the factor making this tough. I think it’s great that companies are figuring out that a lot can be done remotely, and I hope video con culture spreads more rapidly because that will provide a lot more opportunity to a lot of people.
It’s new for me. I’m feeling–medium. It’s definitely the right choice, but I know that I’m someone who is more productive with the like–standardized ritualistic parameters of going to the office and being around like-minded people who are engaged in the same type of work, if that makes sense.
I’ve always had the ability to WFH as needed or full time if I wanted because all of my team is remote anyway. However, I still have a cubicle in the office and usually only WFH one day a week on my volunteer day, because it’s easier to drive there from home than work.
I am an introvert but I cannot be at home full time. It really exacerbates my depression. I like having the separation of work and home. When I get home from being in the office all day, it’s easier for me to disconnect from the work day.
I like getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup in the morning. It feels pointless doing those things if I’m just sitting at home with my cats.
One thing I’m hoping to do is get into a regular exercise routine with online workout videos.
fwiw after my 2 initial days of working in workout gear, I now get showered and dressed in normal clothes and even put on a little make up. (Jeans, not work clothes, but still clothes). I know this isn’t needed for everyone but I know me and know that makes a world of difference in how I feel. Just to throw that out there that if you miss doing those things it isn’t necessarily pointless, it can help your mental health.
I’m going to try that and get in a workout before starting the day. I’m hoping that will set a good precedent for the rest of the day. Thanks for the encouragement!
I think I would like it more if I was set up the same as at work – two monitors, big desk, etc.
also if I wasn’t distracted by my kids and all the news.
I have always hated WFH, and this confirms it. The only thing I like about it is that I don’t have to waste two hours a day commuting.
+1 although I previously WFH on occasion and this situation has made WFH worse than normal so if you (the generic you) NEVER did WFH before this I wouldn’t use this as the sole input before deciding you hate it completely
Hate it, to be honest. My house isn’t set up for it with a good desk and dedicated room, but even if it were, I do not want to WFH full time. I’m mildly introverted, but love the ability to chat briefly with colleagues during the day. I realize now just how much we accomplished with drive-by conversations that others might join, add information or ideas to, then move to execute. (Seriously 5-min convos in the cube farm, as it turns out, are very productive for my team.) I also note I would come out of my office to answer questions or address an issue now and then, which I think is more productive than constant email – saves time on follow-up questions AND produces some human contact.
I really miss the work-is-at-work and home-at-home separation. Sure, I had my work email on my work phone and needed to check briefly and sometimes respond briefly after hours, but not full-on “work.” What I loved most about graduation and getting a real job: no more homework!
I’ve lost the ability to disengage mentally from work stresses while being home. Also, I’m going to have a hard time ignoring my full fridge and pantry; it was easier to limit snacking when I only had what I brought in that day!
OP here – this is what I’m feeling, all of it. (And also ditto to the person that said they are an introvert but still need human interaction – that’s me also, and not getting much interaction is definitely making me feel depressed). It’s not the anxiety and isolation of the situation we’re in that’s causing me to say “I’m not having fun working from home,” I am realizing that despite feeling previously like my coworkers drove me crazy all the time, I miss them. I miss hearing about people’s lives and the face-to-face interaction when someone pops in with a question and the conversation turns into favorite TV shows, or something. I miss spontaneously going to lunch with people. I am also realizing that I would much rather talk to someone for 5 minutes than engage in a lengthy chat or email exchange. I am also working longer hours as it seems like my teammates are working from 6:30a to 6:30p now (maybe just to keep themselves distracted). Previously we all had good boundaries about work time.
I like working from home and I hope to do so more in the future. However, I do not like being stuck inside my house and being anxious about my family and friends. Those are two separate issues.
Same here. I love not going into the office but hate that I literally can’t go anywhere else, am worried about friends/family, and have no vacation plans or weekend trips to look forward to.
I love working from home and am getting so much more done. I hope I never have to go back to the office. But I don’t like being quarantined away from people I care about.
I’m enjoying it except I seriously miss my big monitor, proper desk, mouse and keyboard. If I WFH’d regularly, I’d have all that set up. As it is, I think I’ve left a print of my behind in our sofa…and it’s only Day 3 ;)
I love that if I have a slow period in the middle of the day, I can just stream a workout on my phone and then hop in the shower. Love that I can do laundry or have a pot of soup going on the stove.
I was REALLY surprised by how excited I was that I didn’t have to be “on” this week. I’m super social in social environments, but being “on” around my insanely smart coworkers is always so draining – making sure I’m on top of everything they could possibly drop by to chat about, etc. We’ll see how I feel after a week of being “off.”
I’m not a fan of working from home, and while I appreciate the flexibility to do so when needed, it’s been a long time since I’d elected to do it once a week for no reason. I’d much rather go into the office. But I am glad my company was proactive in letting people work from home when they didn’t feel comfortable going in, and that they made the decision to go fully remote for the month. It’s not a fun situation for a lot of us, but it’s for the best.
I hate working from home and I like going places. Even on a normal weekend I don’t spend much time lounging around at home – I like to be out and about. I like flexibility etc but also like the office environment, and like another poster said, the ability to come home and change and then be out of work mode (even if yes emails etc still come up). I was considering some remote jobs but this confirms that I would not be okay with it. It also really exacerbates my depression – I’ve cried the last 2 nights.
I like working from home, but LOVE going places. A lot of my job involves meetings with people all over the place, and I’m really missing that. This is WFH overload, and all of my husband’s work has been canceled, so he’s chilling out watching tv and drinking beers, while I’m trying to stay motivated for tax busy season… Sigh!
Yesterday was my first WFH day and I thought it was the worst work day ever. I guess I’ll get used to it, since I will be here for awhile. But I really miss the office.
I’m two weeks in as of today. High-risk, in Seattle.
I’m doing alright. I live alone. I’m running out of work. There’s not work coming in. So this is going to be tricky going forward. Bur for now, I’m just doing what I can each day and recognizing that it isn’t a perfect situation.
I thought I would love it and I hate it.
Ugh. I miss my colleagues, I miss my nice computer and monitor, I miss wearing cute outfits, I miss all of it. Ugh.
I don’t think this is a good assessment of work from home since it’s not normal times where you can, you know, go places. Having said that, I recently read a bunch of studies on remote work for unrelated reasons and one study found the ideal amount of time to work from home is no more than 3 days a week, which does seem ideal to balance the costs vs benefits to me.
Having WFH for years, this is COMPLETELY different from a typical WFH situation. In a typical WFH situation, you don’t have the underlying fear and anxiety we all have about COVID19. You can get up and take a walk or go get a Starbucks or whatever if you need a break. You’re not necessarily worried about your cousin who is an ICU nurse, your neighbor whose small business is about to go under, your elderly relative who might die before you are able to see them. A typical WFH situation is driven by a desire for more productivity / fewer interruptions / ability to focus, not fear of encountering other people.
TBH, the feeling in the air right now reminds me of post-9/11. Just very somber. I want to laugh but I don’t feel right doing so.
The cat shelter where I volunteer is shut down. I knew it would happen, but it still makes me sad. I bought supplies last week that I’m planning on dropping off tomorrow and for now I’m working my normal evening shift. I don’t know if any of the high school kids that volunteer will be showing up so I expect the place to be short handed. The cats need to be cared for and some need special food and medication. We already wear smocks and gloves when cleaning and there is a lot of bleach used even in normal circumstances. How are other volunteers out there handling things?
Both of the organizations I volunteer with have canceled operations for the time being. My Saturdays are wide open …. to do chores, I guess.
Hi, I’m on the board of my local animal shelter. Our staff have seen a huge influx in volunteers with the schools being closed, so they have started a strict schedule. It would be a great problem to have literally any other time, and I hope that people keep coming when things settle down. Otherwise, we are strongly encouraging people to foster while they are home from work/school. Thanks for worrying about those kitties. <3
That’s good to know about the extra volunteers! It would be great if people could foster, especially with kitten season coming up. I have five cats and one of my boys is prone to urine making and the last time I took in a stray to foster, there was a bit of a “pee arms race” between him and the new guy even though they were separated and I did slow introductions. For now, I volunteer and donate at the shelter. There’s a feral cat coming around that I need to get trapped and neutered, which might be easier now that I’m at home.
I’m a volunteer cat socializer in San Francisco and all volunteer shifts were cancelled as soon as the “shelter in place” order came on Monday afternoon. They are attempting to find temporary fosters for all of the dogs and cats. I have heard the same for other shelters and cat cafes in this area. Meanwhile the staff is doing the feeding and socializing, as I understand it, so the animals will definitely be cared for. I’m worried that they may have to stop bringing in at-risk animals from other shelters in the state, which they normally do routinely, and that the euthanasia rates will go up at those shelters. I haven’t heard that intake has stopped but it seems probable that it has.
Ugh can I quit my job and become a “volunteer cat socializer” full-time…
I wish! I volunteer two hours a week, when my day job permits.
I also volunteer with a cat rescue. All volunteer shifts are cancelled. All our adoption events are cancelled. Our main fundraiser for the year is cancelled. All our adoptable kitties are fostered out to the homes of volunteers. Staff is going in just to take care of the ferals.
Day 1 WFH: Rough.
Night 1: Ok, tomorrow I’m going to stand up every 20 minutes, and I’ll get outside at least twice, and I’ll take a Real Lunch, and I’ll spend at least 2 hours of my waking time with no screen time. 6-7 a.m. and 8-9 p.m. sounds good.
Day 2 WFH: Spent 12 hours on my couch, getting up only to pace on calls advising clients regarding workforce issues, ate something at 2:30 p.m., spent 20 minutes outside at 7 p.m. while emailing.
Night 2 WFH: ….so much for goals
Day 3 WFH: I’m in PJs. Sitting at a desk.
Haha, I can so relate! I changed out of my PJs into real clothes today. Tomorrow’s goal is to get in a workout before I open my laptop and get sucked into work. Baby steps.
Three months ago I looked at my closet and said “Self, you have too many leggings. Stop buying them.”
I have never been so thankful to have so many.
Day 11 of work from home: it’s 9:10 am. I’m in bed.
My anxiety is through the roof. I’m in NYC, wasn’t able to work from home until recently, and I live alone with no one to take care of me. Every time I take my temperature and it’s like 98.8 I get anxious. I’m stressed that I’ll run out of batteries in my thermometer and won’t be able to replace it (no thermometers to be had). I probably have undiagnosed health anxiety problems to begin with but now…it’s out of control.
Any tips on managing this?
Wishing everyone peace and good health.
Stop taking your temperature right now. 98.8 is not a fever. If you have a fever you will know.
This. I know if I have a fever. And I swear I can tell by how my kids look if they are going to have fevers, before even touching them. I feel like I only use a thermometer for separating the mere fevers from the very-high-throw-them-in-a-cold-bath-and-call-the-doctor-for-urgent-attention fevers (only once, for a kid who was really, really sick).
Do you have a replacement battery? I got one yesterday for my neighbor. Thermometers are out, but those little batteries are still available. Order one for peace of mind.
Make a plan. Do you have supplies you would want when you get a cold? Look up your health care provider, mine set up a hotline and separate intake locations for people with cold symptoms. Read up on what symptoms to look for.
How long have you been taking your temperature? If it has been stable, with no other cold symptoms, consider the possibility that you might have a higher baseline temp, a lot of women do.
Thanks. I can’t tell what battery, do you know what model etc? I would like to order one.
My temp fluctuates between like 97.8 and 98.8…I usually run cold but am trying not to freak out about the highs. I don’t have other symptoms thankfully other than an occasional cough or throat clearing that I think are probably allergies.
Ideally, the package should come with one of those fine-print instruction manuals, that would tell you the battery type. There are many different ones out there, so you want to make sure you buy the right size. If you don’t have the package anymore, there should be some info on the thermometer. Like a brand name and model number. Can you see any writing on you thermometer?
Also agree with the other poster, don’t measure your temp more than twice a day. Get a piece of paper and write down each measurement, so you can later check back when you are wondering: was it lower yesterday? FYI, Morning temp is often higher than evening temp, that’s normal.
I found this helpful. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/mar/16/coronavirus-health-anxiety
Also institute some rules. Don’t check your temperature more than twice a day (aim for once and then none; you’ll know if you have a fever and need to). Don’t check news more than 20 min. Find some distractions. I started a new fantasy series (Discovery of Witches) and when my brain gets too preoccupied with panic I do puzzles to distract myself (crosswords, jumbles, etc.)
This is also helpful- https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/coping-with-coronavirus-anxiety-2020031219183
Kat, Maybe you could do a post on managing anxiety right now? There’s a lot of great resources online and it’d be nice to have it all corralled in one place.
thank you, that was a pretty helpful article!
Hang in there, and keep breathing to stay calm. My anxiety is through the roof as well. I’m a teacher and my spring break just began and while I’m not working, I’m going from super high anxiety— cannot eat much, to calm and back up again, I keep breathing and stretching to help, but it’s hard. I downloaded some fun novels to read, and when I read, I forget for a while, and it calms me down. I’m not sure how possible it is if you work from home to read a chapter or so, but it helps if it’s absorbing, but not too taxing. It helps to call family and talk even if it’s a short call several times a day if you can….it helps to stay connected.
Other times I’m very scared. I will go for groceries tomorrow early in the morning, and help my mom, who has food and supplies but needs some of her medication and a few items. My goal for today is to figure out how long an online grocery delivery would take. I’ve heard that orders may not be delivered for a few days or weeks, so I want to get this set up. I live in the city, so husband and I usually pick up bits here and there in the evenings, but we figure now that we may help buy things for my mom and his mom, we will take the vehicle, and go to one of the local medium sized grocery stores. Our city has 100 cases, and I’m worried about going in store, so I may order online, but the stores were not too busy early morning, and had most items, though not all.
I cycle back and forth too. I go from “I’m doing great!” to “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH”. .. and back again. It depends on how much sleep/food/shower I’ve had tbh
I do the same. One thing my boyfriend and I say to each other every night before we fall asleep is “we didn’t get it today”. It makes us both grateful and giggle too. We know tomorrow might be different but for today, we are okay.
Hugs from another New Yorker. (from a 6 foot distance). I am trying to focus on just getting through the day. I can handle today. Tomorrow I will deal with then. Make a plan, then execute it. If today is too much, focus on the next hour.
Also, make a plan for each worst case scenario you are imagining. Then write them down and when you start worrying, remind yourself you have a good plan in place and don’t need to spend energy on this.
I found this article hit on a lot of the concerns I’ve had about the mask situation here: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/17/opinion/coronavirus-face-masks.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage
Of course I want health care workers to be protected and I’m not personally stockpiling masks, but the messaging hasn’t made much sense or encouraged trust. I’m not sure what the answer is other than having much bigger emergency stockpiles available and limits on what individual consumers can buy.
I think it’s interesting that masks sold out so quickly. I would have thought that hospitals order from medical supply companies or different stores than the average person on the street would be shopping at. Like yeah, maybe the masks at CVS are sold out, but wouldn’t a company selling in bulk prioritize the giant hospital orders?
This. I’m genuinely also ignorant of how the supply chain works for medical supplies, and why CVS going OOS would impact the hospitals. Anyone knows?
There are effectively 2 or 3 manufacturers for each type of PPE. For example: If CVS has a run on masks and places a big order to 3M, they have a contract that puts them at the front of the line for fulfillment. Not making the contractual obligations would be extremely costly.
3M is the largest manufacturer & supplier of PPE in the US and one of the largest in the world. They are trying to produce as much as they can as quickly as they can, but they are operating under the same restrictions as the rest of us.
Also, some hospital supply chain contracts have exclusivity provisions, so that might prevent going to other suppliers (i.e. if its drafted in a way that doesn’t include exceptions for emergencies/supply shortages).
I was just reading about why personal protective equipment (PPE) in healthcare facilities has gotten to be in short supply. Because there wasn’t a testing protocol available early on, every patient with symptoms had to be treated as potentially infectious. That led to significant issues with stocks of PPE.
All of the manufacturers are trying to catch up, but it will take time.
China produces 50% of the masks but has refused to ship to the US because of its own needs, trade war with the US, and this president apparently imposed extra import taxes on medical masks from China until two weeks ago. Meanwhile, his going around making idiot comments about China is certainly not going to help.
To those of you in DC looking to get a little exercise now that gyms are closed (and also support a local small business), the pilates studio I go to, Fuse Pilates, is going to be live streaming some classes! I can’t recommend them enough.
OH awesome, I love Fuse Pilates! Really good to know. Thank you for sharing.
We put an offer in on a house just before things took a dive here. We are renting at the moment and have a substantial down payment to use. We need to put the whole down payment sum down in order to avoid a jumbo loan and keep the monthly payments in a range where we are comfortable. After that, we would have roughly 4-5 months of living expenses left for emergencies. I am feeling a little spooked…we are a one-income household, my job is still fairly new, and it’s nice to have the security of that nest egg right now. Would you continue with the deal, or back out?
Oh gosh. In a one-income family and in a new role, I’d be very hesitant to do such a big purchase. If the economy does go really south, it might take a long while to get on your feet. Does your spouse have a career that they could easily get back into? (Accounting? Teaching?)
I’d back out (but I know that can cost you – if it’s more than a couple months’ rent I’d think about it a little harder, but my gut reaction is back out). This is coming from a lifelong renter, though, who still has some student loans. On the other hand, all my friends are refinancing, so maybe this is a good time. I would only feel comfortable if I had a substantial savings account (6 months living expenses including mortgage payments), decent job or freelance prospects, and was willing to take the risk.
I would back out if you can, if only because house prices are going to drop precipitously pretty quickly and you can probably get a better deal on a better house in a month or two.
It would also make me pretty nervous to only have 4-5 months of emergency fund in the bank right now…I don’t know anyone who isn’t worried about keeping their job. I think the economic fallout from this whole thing is going to be worse than anything the virus doles out, personally.
+1
This is a bit callous but if this epidemic hits us like we think it will, real estate is going to take a beating. The house you’re looking at now will be cheaper in a year, possibly. My advice (and I’m not in real estate just a busybody) would be to hold off on this purchase. Or scale back your purchase so you don’t need a jumbo loan.
Continue. You have the money now, you want to move, insurance rates are great, and this will not last forever.
I have to ask – what do insurance rates have to do with it? (I mean, if that’s true yes, the cheaper the insurance the better but the scale of that relative to the other factors in a home purchase makes it basically irrelevant). Do you mean interest rates?
I meant mortgage rates yes!!
I think it depends on how secure your job is. Does your industry depend on consumer spending or is it likely to be significantly affected by a consumer spending freeze? I wouldn’t go forward. If it’s something more stable like a government job, I probably would.
I would say this is contingent upon job security. DH and I just bought a house but we are both basically unfireable, so there is no risk.
We just bought a house in November and with the way the economy is looking, I would be less anxious if we were still renting right now.
I have been doing really well so far trying to freak out but I woke up today in a rage and I just need a place to vent this. I opened a restaurant last year with family. It has been an incredibly stressful last year, I have put so much money and time into this, while still working full time (as I support a restaurant now). On Monday all restaurants were closed by the state, and we are trying not to fully panic about how we will survive this. My business is closed, I had to lay off all my employees who have become like family because a not even one year old restaurant doesn’t have cash reserves yet. We were dragging ourselves through this last few months of slow season as it was, with Memorial day as our bright beacon of light that if we could get to that we would survive. I fully understand and support the decision, while also being super panicked about this and have a pit in my stomach.
The rage is at every business who is still bringing non essential workers into their office and sending them out into the world. You are not special, and you are prolonging this, and causing direct physical harm to people. I am tracking names of companies and will remember. I have shifted from anxiety to pure fury today.
I don’t have much to offer besides sympathy. I come from a family of entrepreneurs and all of my best friends own small businesses/are self-employed. One of my friends is having to shutter her business temporarily and send her workers home with no pay because she just does not have the capital to keep paying people if there’s no income. (Which I would say is true of 99.8% of small businesses.) She had greater cash reserves last year at this time and was feeling great, but then had a series of major repairs that drained the reserves and now she can’t keep people on if there’s no business. I say this so you know you’re not alone.
The first year of any restaurant operation is really, really tough and you did a great job making it this far. If you have to close, it is due to these extraordinary circumstances and not from a lack of trying/lack of expertise, etc. The thing I am saddest about, that I am trying not to think about too much, is all the small businesses that will not be able to weather this storm and will have to close, and all the workers who will then have to find new jobs. I hope the federal government gets off its butt and offers some financial relief to people who just want to keep their doors open and keep paying people. You may check with your local SBA to see if your state is offering any kind of relief or support; some states have already moved to offer interest-free loans or other supports to help small businesses stay open.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Big hugs.
Just chiming in to say the Senate’s about to pass the first of what’s expected to be at least three, maybe four, stimulus bills this afternoon. This one is paid leave for workers, expanded food stamps, $1B for unemployment benefits and more.
OP, my heart absolutely goes out to you. I’m trying to patronize all the small businesses I can this weekend when I get out of my house.
Yea, my family owns a restaurant and voluntarily closed last night. It was cheaper and honestly, the tipped employees would have more money on unemployment then they were making from the paltry business still coming in the door (state is not on mandatory closures for restaurants). It just sucks all around.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope we are able to get out of it quickly and that you see success. You are going through the normal grieving process. SEnding you love and light.
I am so sorry for you! I feel so bad for small business owners and employees who will be affected by this! It really, really stinks.
I am sorry.
Your landlord surely can’t evict you and your creditors don’t want to repossess your equipment. I think that this is where the lawyers of the world might help all parties work through forbearance agreements, etc. so that restaurants and other businesses that are tenants or borrowers can kick the can down the road and make a go of it still. It’s not like you can re-tenant a restaurant now or sell off their equipment so this seems like something to try.
And, honestly, the people you are mad at are the only people left who can save something for you from the rubble, if anything can be saved.
OP to this: Not that your LL couldn’t evict you, but there are costs and no gain to it in the short run. My $ is on local bar associations trying to mediate and work out things because there are no likely gains in the sort run to exercising rights and remedies right now.
Lawyers: be helpers! The local business community actually needs us (as do big businesses, who may be creditors but inclined to be good guys and have good headlines instead of bad ones, at least in the short run).
I’m so sorry this is happening, to you and so many other restaurant owners who put their heart and soul into their business. I partially blame the hoards of people who packed bars and restaurants over the weekend, insisting on their God-given “right to party,” and all the restaurant owners that could’ve operated at reduced capacity and didn’t. It kinda feels like they ruined it for everyone.
How awful. So sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I’m late to this but if you have bank loans, call the bank. Many banks (including mine) are giving loan payment waivers to small business borrowers who are current with their payments. There is SBA disaster relief. I’ll post the links in a new message.
https://www.seattletimes.com/business/local-business/small-businesses-and-nonprofits-in-state-hurt-by-coronavirus-can-tap-up-to-2-million-in-federal-loans/?utm_medium=notification&utm_source=pushly&utm_campaign=495759
The link is here: https://www.sba.gov/funding-programs/disaster-assistance
Can you offer take out or sign up to a delivery service? The demand for both has gone up.
FYI- Peloton is offering a 90 day free trial of the app. It has great Yoga and meditation classes, in addition to cycle,tread.
Thank you for posting this. The Peloton app has been on my To Do list.
For those who try it, check out Robin Arzon! I absolutely love her positivity and laughter — something we can all use more of in these times.
Love Peloton. Love Robin. I’m relatively new, found her right away, and won’t branch out to other instructors, lol.
How long before our kitchens get to be like an episode of Chopped where I task my husband with making an entree or desert out of:
off-brand Mac & Cheese
jar of bar snacks
old potatoes at the back of the fridge
Rice Chex
An IPA
Don’t discount the glory of beer-braised potatoes!
http://thebeeroness.com/2012/07/18/beer-braised-potatoes-with-rosemary-beer-gravy/
Honestly, I’d watch that. We should start an ig account for this.
If anyone could find a way to make 5 salty starches into a meal, it would be my husband.
LOL. (Don’t store your potatoes in the fridge!)
OP: I am trying to break him of the habit. For a decade. He comes from a family that stores bread in the fridge. Shudder. I get it if you have vermin (they don’t; we don’t). Not otherwise. Bad for starches.
. . . I store bread in the fridge too. We just don’t eat it fast enough to finish it before it gets stale or moldy.
I think it messes up the bread if you chill it (like bread is a wettish starch vs crackers and cold make it clumpy — there some food science there that I have forgotten; plus you need to toast it to take off the chill and hide the quality decline). It’s a quality thing. I buy the smaller pepperidge farm loaves or just better bread in smaller sizes to have us eat it before it goes bad.
The freezer is better.
Ha! I feel like i’m getting there already. I asked my husband for some help with long term meal planning and his answer was to buy a bunch of ground beef. That’s it. No further thought on what to with said beef. I don’t really enjoy cooking to begin with and usually only meal plan for 4-5 dinners a week. I’m having trouble trying to come up with meals for a couple of weeks at a time. I realize I buy fresh produce and ingredients as needed instead of relying on pantry staples.
I go to the store at least 4x/week if not daily to get fresh items for meals. Oh well. Time to eat that Chex Mix!
I went through and made a list of everything in my pantry, fridge and freezer and then a list of meals I usually make. Figured out what I needed to make pantry items into meals and put it all on a big grocery list that I got all at once. I came up with three full weeks of meals that way- including breakfast.
I’m going to end this thing with an empty freezer for the first time in many years.
Also, I f-ing hate cooking and I am horrible at it. I try. And then I fail. I’m good at ground beef tacos, chili mac, Dutch pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, pasta, tortellini salad, and pizza on frozen dough. I know. I’m not actually college student…
We had a St. Patrick’s Day miracle last night and actually had all the ingredients on hand to make Shepherd’s Pie! (I was going through the freezer to see what we had, and hello, pound of ground lamb!)
Also made the best bread ever last night with just flour, water, salt, and yeast. Amazing. (Although I’m getting nervous as my flour supply dwindles…)
SA, that’s the kind of bread we make for Greek Orthodox funerals. It is actually really good and makes excellent toast!
We had corned beef, potatoes and cabbage! My husband went out to grocery stores to find meat and fresh veg this weekend. (We are in the Bay Area. It was nuts.) All the chicken and turkey and most of the beef was sold out, but there were gorgeous house-cured corned beef rounds in the case and he bought one. The bagged lettuce was gone but plenty of cabbages left, and we already had potatoes. It really felt like the luck of the Irish!
PS I would totally be into people starting a daily thread about interesting pantry meals.
So, what does a weekend look like when you are stuck at home? In normal times, I leave my place around 8:15, go to work, go to the gym or do errands or see friends, and am not home until about 7:30-8pm. So by Friday, I’m so excited to be in my apartment with nowhere to go.
But now – I am home all week, basically 24/7, in stretchy pants or pajamas. How do I make the weekend different from the weekdays?
My weekends are ordinarily jam-packed full of errands, cleaning, meal prep, and kid taxi duty, and I never get everything done that needs doing. I am looking forward to being able to finish cleaning on Saturday mornings and then either relax or tackle big projects such as cleaning out the garage, edging the mulch beds, and making new curtains.
I plan on going on a monster hike somewhere a little bit of a drive away. Staying 6 feet away from anyone else with the same idea. I feel like that will give me *some* sense of normalcy as I would normally love to do that anyway.
I’m chained to my laptop, so I’m planning on getting outdoors – a park, a bike ride – maybe run to a nursery and pick up some plants and work in the yard. And putting on “real clothes” – aka, jeans and a sweatshirt ;)
The weather is supposed to be sh!tty on Saturday, so I plan on cleaning out my closet (again), de-stashing craft supplies, and baking bread. If I’d had some foresight I would have bought supplies and painted our living room, but alas.
Sunday the weather will be better so I’m getting a jump on yard cleanup.
I would find activities that I can’t dedicate a lot of time to during the week because I’m working 9-5 during the day. I might find a TV show to binge, or movies to marathon, board games to play with my boyfriend, books I’ve been meaning to read, all-day recipes that require a lot of prep time before they go in the oven or slow cooker, decluttering projects, and for me, video games I’ve been meaning to play! My guy got me Fallout 4 for Christmas back in 2018 and it was just sitting there since then, it was becoming a source of guilt for sure, but I finally installed it over the weekend and started playing. My FPS skills are super rusty though, I was a pro at Bioshock back in the day but I hadn’t played in so long. I might get that Spyro reboot that came out last year, too.
I’m planning to spend the weekend outside with my family. We may go on a hike and take a picnic. We may get Kiddo on a bike. We may go over to my in-laws’ to swim (FIL is already part of our circle, and his wife has moved to her daughter’s house to help with her new baby). We’ll probably spend some time working in the yard, and we may grill or smoke something.
Do you have a bunch of digital pictures you’ve taken over the years sitting on a harddrive somewhere? Now would be an excellent time to organize them into albums to print. I’m also planning to spend a lot of time on yard work and spring planting. My garden is going to look so awesome come June.
Good Morning….is anyone that does a lot of business travel thinking that this shift to less travel and more wfh a good thing? I traveled alot – maybe 75% of the time in peak months. This is an opportunity to spend more time with my husband, take care of my health, spend more time in outdoor activities like running, cycling, gardening.
I am worried that my employer will start pushing people to travel again way too soon and I will have to quit, so instead of a nice reprieve this just feels like waiting for the axe to fall.
Same
Management consultant here who travels 4 days a week every week. I am love love LOVING WFH life. Spending every night next to my husband? Seeing him more than 3 days a week? I don’t know how I’ll ever go back, despite the status and miles that pay for our vacation flights.
I wonder what the airlines are going to do about status. I have been a heavy traveler and a United 1K. I will be surprised if I end up flying a total of 25k miles this year, which is fine and a relief, as you say, but I do eventually hope to be able to use all my miles, and it’s much easier to book mileage traveler as a 1K than as a nothingK.
Any suggestions for celebrating a birthday in quarantine? No kids, and we’re in a city condo so have limited space/no yard. We aren’t normally huge birthday people, but I thought that celebrating might be a nice break from the monotony of quarantine. Right now we’re planning to try a new recipe that’s more complicated than we usually do for the activity, but I feel like there are other good ideas out there! I drink but don’t really appreciate alcohol (so a nice bottle of champagne/wine would be lost on me). TIA!
Recreate a fancy dinner out- Dress up, use all the fancy supplies, light candles. make a cool playlist. Do you have outdoor space and good weather? Make it al fresco.
My birthday is this weekend too and I live alone. I am thinking of doing a “virtual party”. I don’t drink either so I’m not sure how to make this a “special” day for myself.
If your quarantine doesn’t preclude touching, you might want to add slow dancing for after dinner. Find a romantic, slow dance playlist and dance around whatever room in your home is most spacious. Since no one is watching, you can still be clumsy. My SO and I have done this a few times in the dead of winter and it’s such corny good romantic fun.
I did a virtual happy hour with friends yesterday! We all had our drink of choice, and just chatted for an hour from our respective homes. It was really nice to see everyone and feel more connected. You could do the same with more of a birthday theme, and order yourself / bake some cupcakes.
My husband’s birthday is in early April. My plan is to make a fancy cake and whatever he wants for dinner….maybe some “gardening” if we can still stand to be in the same room together by then (LOL). Other than that I’m coming up empty.
I know this is a site dedicated to business attire, but I’d love to see some recommendations for work from home clothes (and hacks!) now that so many of us are doing that. I’m having a hard time making the transition and the pretty clothes I can’t justify buying right now (because who know when I’ll need them) are making me sad!
You don’t need hacks. Just wear something comfortable that you already own.
That worked for two days but I only really only workout clothes and business attire at this point. I just think suggestions would be nice! Particularly of something that helps me feel more put together than sweatpants but more comfortable than jeans.
Then wear leggings and a sweater. Don’t overthink it! The important thing is to feel comfortable enough to be productive. I find that it doesn’t matter what I wear as long as my grooming continues – I start each day with face washed, teeth brushed, fresh clothes (from what I slept in) and then the exact outfit doesn’t matter for my productivity and well-being.
you need jeggings or treggings, which look like jeans but are way more comfortable. An elastic waist is key. I have four pairs from Am*zon Basics that I wear constantly (I was WFH before all this); h&m has plenty as well. or something like the Marine Layer Allison pant. Joggers are another option, or boyfriend jeans (more comfortable to sit in). to mix it up, an a-line or flared skirt, or a midi skirt (all still easy to sit in). ponte jackets and sweaters feel more “together” than a sweatshirt or workout warm-up top.
Apparently I do need hacks, since I managed to wear something to which I couldn’t helpfully clip my headset mic this morning.
There have been a couple of posts recently on Cap Hill Style:
https://caphillstyle.com/capitol/2020/03/17/four-ways-styling-ideas-for-leggings.html
https://caphillstyle.com/capitol/2020/03/13/five-mistakes-i-made-when-i-started-working-from-home.html
Capitol Hill Style has been posting that, including a nice post this morning about outfits to wear with leggings.
Betabrand and a crew neck sweater have been my go-to. With allbirds.
I don’t understand the need to dress down completely. I work from home full time under regular circumstances and I always wear jeans. They’re not the skinny squeeze-you-in kind but they are presentable dark wash bootcuts or straight cuts. My tops are long sleeve cotton sweaters (mostly from Liz Claiborne, but also some Gap) and I wear them over ribbed tanks over a soft but structured bra. I feel presentable under most circumstances, including those times I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Instead of makeup I have glasses that cover up my dark circles and my lack of eyebrows. If my hair didn’t dry well, I’ll put on a baseball cap to walk the dog. My shoes are slip-on suede pointed toe Skechers in a ton of fun colors (I waterproof the suede regularly).
Two of my favorite jeans that feel and look better than sweatpants:
https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3000711/womens-levis-classic-boocut-jeans.jsp?skuid=53275806&ci_mcc=ci&utm_campaign=MISSES%20LEVI&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=53275806&CID=shopping15&utm_campaignid=6678859573&pid=googleadwords_int&af_channel=CSE&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIt6nFwrmk6AIVB6rsCh2YdQBREAQYAyABEgIFavD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/ariat-womens-real-mid-rise-icon-stackable-straight-leg-jean-1377913?cm_mmc=feed-_-GoogleShopping-_-Product-_-1377913&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgOWp4Lmk6AIVD8ZkCh2ilw1rEAQYAyABEgLr9PD_BwE
What’s your body type like? I like the look of those Ariats, but I have a really hard time finding jeans. I’m a size 12 pear with big calves and waist gaping/strangled calves are constant problems.
I’m getting anxious about my job.
I work in internal talent acquisition, and we’ve paused hiring until the summer. We’re rescinding offers. We might have layoffs in a few weeks. We’re a historically successful, well funded tech company but the industry we serve is being hit hard by social distancing and we need to control cash flow. This especially sucks for me because I was laid off last fall and I’ve only been here for a couple months, another layoff, more unemployment, etc. would feel rough. I’m sure there are some industries in my area that are still growing though, and there’s talk of there being economic aid to people being impacted . . . I guess it’ll all be okay eventually, but I’m still anxious.
On the other hand, I’m so glad I live with my boyfriend, I couldn’t have picked a better person to be stuck inside with.
You are not alone. I am anxious about an offer I took last month falling through somehow. We will get through this somehow! Right now, it’s a shitty feeling, but it won’t always feel this way.
People were wondering whether media-shaming of employers would work if they were using terrible Covid response plans (like not letting people WFH or not providing any paid leave for sick people). FYI, in the local paper of my small city, a columnist did excerpt memos to employees from certain named employers and call them out for harmful policies.
So, it can be done.
Also, where all my health care workers at??? It’s jarring to see so many comments about WFH. I guess the grass is greener, but I really wish I could be feeling stir-crazy at home right now. Hang in there, friends.
If you’re leaking internal memos that’s grounds for being fired, isn’t it? Also did anything positive actually come out of that? It still seems like a bad idea.
I assume these sources were trusting that they could remain anonymous. So hopefully they do.
I don’t know whether anything positive will come out of it. I do think we’ve seen that public pressure gets results at times.
This is slightly different, but the Instagram accound @esteelaundry calls out various practices from the beauty industry. Including internal company documents anonymously provided by employees.
Hi! Stuck in my healthcare desk job because no confirmed cases in our county and the logistics of shutting down only parts of the hospital is a bit too complicated to worry about right now, I guess? I’m bored out of my skull – there’s nothing for me to do and everyone around me is busy freaking out.
What about the businesses that just *can’t* pay people with no income coming in? Sure, it’s fine to say give everyone paid leave – but, see the post above – some small businesses, or non-profit businesses just don’t have the cash reserves to do this if they have to close.
I am on the executive board of a non-profit that is medical-adjacent (think therapy services), so most of our organization’s operations budget is self-generated from the clients & their insurance plans. Telemedicine isn’t approved for these services. We can cover the next pay period, but none after that if we are closed/patients aren’t being seen, because no income is coming in. It just isn’t possible, but we are doing the best we can.
Big employers, sure, they should be ashamed and should do the right thing. But I think shaming in some of these cases can do a lot more harm than good.
The 2 employers being shamed were a law firm that made staff continue coming in, but let attorneys work from home; and one of the largest employers in our state, which is owned by an even larger company. I agree that for smaller businesses and NPOs this is a true dilemma, but I don’t think that applies in either of these cases.
My employer right now is similar to the org you’re on the board for. Almost all insurers are currently making exceptions to cover telehealth services, and some authorities are even waiving typical HIPAA requirements to allow for telehealth appointments on general-use platforms. Income from patient services is still feasible. If anything, I bet standards will become even more permissive the longer this goes on.
Agreed, if we are mandating paid sick leave it needs to be government paid. And levy a higher tax on large employers to pay for it.
I tried to out my large law firm and their absolutely horrid response to Above The Law but they did not take the bait. Today is the first day they have allowed a WFH option, but they expect us all to return to work in under 2 weeks.
Question for in-house counsel: how would you feel about knowing your outside counsel’s WFH policy was to use your own personal computer? We use Citrix, but from our personal laptops. I’m thinking this would be problematic to our clients? (We are a large firm)
As in-house counsel, this is something I can’t bring the energy to care about other than wondering if they are efficient on our matters using old desktops because I can’t fathom how else a firm provides desk tops instead of lap tops to attorneys other than them being old and outdated.
My firm always uses Citrix from our personal computers. I though the whole point of Citrix to create a separate virtual desktop that can be accessed remotely, but doesn’t communicate with the local desktop (so documents cannot be transferred to the personal latop from the Citrix server)?
+1 – I thought this was the point of Citrix? To create a remote desktop that would be secure?
+2 I’m confused by this, this is the purpose of Citrix.
I don’t think there are issues with Citrix itself, more the idea of using a personal laptop for law practice. Citrix requires an internet connection and as a litigator I often find myself in situations where I don’t have internet and thus have to work outside of Citrix (depositions, travel, working between CMC’s at the main courthouse I go to). I’m not a cyber security guru but to me Citrix + personal laptop seems inappropriate for law.
I am a lawyer as well, and to me, the issue is working outside of Citrix that is the problem, not who the laptop belongs to. I mean, if you have a firm-issued laptop, and work on it outside of Citrix, that is presumably no more secured than a personal laptop working outside of Citrix – either laptop could be stolen (or hacked into on an unsecured network, I guess, but how without internet, I’m not sure). Citrix should be creating that two-step sign-in security that prevents these issues. I think who the laptop belongs to is irrelevant.
True, I guess I imagine firm-issued laptops would be more secure but I’ve never had one so who knows!
I have had them and they’re the same as a normal one. A login when you turn it on and that’s it. Anything on the desktop/hard drive of that computer would be fair game once you take the laptop and crack the first login. Having the virtual desktop is where the security protection comes in. Of course, make sure your personal laptop DOES have a login (or even a two step login, or locked folders or something) if you are working from your hard drive.
I would be shocked, and we’d probably bring it up with our relationship partner and I’d quit using that firm for future matters, if I had another choice. We’re always talking about auditing the cyber-security practices of our vendors, but haven’t started yet, that I know of. We had to bring some of our outside counsel into our offices to help us on a project this year and I was astonished at the outdated OS they had on their laptops. So, maybe I shouldn’t be so shocked. I’m in-house at a very large multi-national.
I’m confused why you would care? Maybe I don’t understand Citrix. We use VPN and remote desktop on our personal devices so that after entering two passwords, we are on our work desktops. The personal laptop is just the means to get there. Nothing is saved on the laptop at all.
+1 – It sounds to me like you understand Citrix fine. My firm has a two-step VPN login for laptops, one login which requires authentication from a second device like a phone or tablet, and then once you’ve logged into that, you can login to your virtual desktop. Nothing is actually on the laptop device itself other than like an internet browser.
I think most of my shock is the optics of it? It seems stingy, and if they’re skimping on basic work equipment, are they also skimping on cyber security measures? But maybe using your own laptop is just an option? My company will give you a phone, if you want to carry 2, or you can use your own, with their control/management, we can also remote desktop from our personal computers.
I’d wonder why you are stirring up drama raising this now.
How is she stirring up drama? She’s just asking what clients think
I’m not the person you’re responding to, but presumably, because if she cared what clients think, she would have raised the issue of using personal laptops before there was a global pandemic? I doubt they’ve all had firm laptops for ages, and now confiscated them all and are like, “Ok, use your personal laptop.” Lawyers work evenings/weekends a lot, so I doubt this is the first time this has come up.
OP here, nope not trying to stir up drama, would never raise any issue to clients. I’m just a junior associate, that is way above my pay grade. I was just curious because I was under the impression this was not the norm. But based on these responses, it sounds like it is a lot more prevalent and widely accepted!
OP here, not trying to stir up drama! I am a Jr associate and would never raise anything like that to clients, ever. I was just curious what people thought and it seems to be a lot more prevalent/ widely accepted than I thought (this may be double posted I’m not sure if my previous comment was submitted)
Citrix is considered fairly secure. You should be storing files to the company drives instead of your personal laptop, but working on them live is not that much of a risk if done over any sort of secure VPN.
We use Citrix with our own employees who have to WFH and don’t have company laptops, so we wouldn’t care (very large US financial institution). And even if we didn’t like it, dealing with it wouldn’t be a priority right now.,
Why can’t you use your work laptop? And what about people who don’t have a personal computer?
Lol thanks for assuming we all have work laptops.
Well I am surprised that a lawyer at a law firm does not have a work laptop. Or perhaps you aren’t a lawyer. I don’t know.
But anyways I see no issue with working over Citrix. We had our staff who do not have laptops take home their desktops with them. But that was driven more by the fact we don’t have anything like Citrix.
I am more bothered by the assumption that people have a home computer they can use.
Last week, we bought a house. We moved over the weekend. This was to allow us not to have to drive three hours a day for work. Now, my husband and I are both working from home full-time. Part of me feels guilty about all of this. The anxiety has been spiking like crazy when I think about what the world is gonna look like when this is over.
I live not to far from where the Spanish Influenza epidemic started a century ago. In college history classes, we learned why Fort Riley was the center of the pandemic. I can see many of the same factors in how transmission is happening today.
Social distancing is hard work. It goes against all of our instincts as social creatures. Thank you for being here as a social lifeline and sounding board.
Congrats on buying the house, though! That’s still an achievement, especially in such a trying time.
Do the recent findings that the COVID-19 can survives for days on certain surfaces, and hours in the air, factor into how you go about your day? Including how frequently you shop online, or handle the packagings?
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/14/811609026/the-new-coronavirus-can-live-on-surfaces-for-2-3-days-heres-how-to-clean-them
https://www.axios.com/coronavirus-study-air-surfaces-cb5029b8-6ba8-42da-8d07-c96178403ef7.html
I was wondering the same with respect to having my cleaner come, and was just about to post this. I know many people here have talked about having their cleaner cancelled (but still paying them) and I would be fine with that. She usually comes on Thursdays. But, both my husband and I are still having to go into the office – I know that’s a whole other issue. But, would you still have the housekeeper come if you’re not going to be home? (FWIW we are both young-ish but my husband does have asthma.)
I’m still having my cleaner come unless ahe is unwell, but I visit my youngish parents on the weekends so I’m not back in the house until 24 to 48 hours after she leaves.
I still have to go into the office. I use hand sanitizer after touching elevator buttons, and don’t use my phone until I get the hand sanitizer. My firm is keeping the front door propped open. I am avoiding the community kitchen–bringing my own coffee in the morning, going home for lunch, and avoiding the community snacks and anything people might bring in. I use a paper towel to reenter I wash my hands as soon as I walk in the door at home. Twice a day (lunch and on my way out), I spray Lysol on my doorknob and let it air dry. Once a day, I spray my keyboard, phone, and stapler.
I haven’t done anything different with my mailbox, mail or packages. I’m trying not to shop online just out of habit, boredom, or stress (I’m the same anon who posted above), but I haven’t sprayed items as they enter my house.
These findings aren’t recent and no, I’m isolating as much as necessary and sanitizing Washing hands.
I want the top! I try to avoid pleated skirts because of the cost (dry cleaners charge extra), and the maintenance if not dry-clean.
I’m curious what those of you with regularly scheduled cleaners are doing. We have a service every two weeks and I don’t want to deprive the person who comes of income. But is it irresponsible to have them come?
I’m pregnant and told her that, while we’re fine….we’re stopping cleaning service for now. Because my husband and I have jobs that we can do from home, we do not anticipate losing any income from this – so we’re going to continue paying her as normal. Which, while a morale killer for me…..I love having a clean house that I didn’t have to clean myself…..strikes me as the right thing to do.
this is our approach as well for our every other week cleaner.
Same here.
We are going to have our service clean the downstairs while we go upstairs. They said they want to keep working and so many others are canceling that I want to support them.
We canceled and are not paying them – not that we don’t want to, but our household income has effectively halved. Public health and budgetary benefits
We are keeping our cleaning service as usual. I think it would be the least likely place to get infected from. They already wear gloves and everything they touch is to clean it. They already switched to disinfectant where they were using something mild before. We don’t have them clean the office where we work.
Ours are coming tomorrow, but we have no confirmed cases of community spread within 200 miles, and I have contacts inside both local hospitals who are telling me they have been testing people. Our cleaners use our vacuum and supplies, they don’t bring much in. We’ll also be leaving them a huge tip because I’m guessing they won’t be on the list to get the Yang checks that the Senate is working on. I’m nervous about it, but also my house is a mess, and I know our service needs the business right now. We’ll re-assess in 2 weeks when they’re due to come again.
I’m still having mine come for now, but I’m going to ask her for some way to pay her if she can’t come — right now I leave her a check but I don’t know her mailing address. I’m actively worried about her losing work, since she’s a single parent. I have to go into work every week or two (essential function that can’t be done remotely) so I’m going to aim to have her come on those days so we minimize interaction.
My cleaner is stopping her rotations for 2 weeks, starting on Monday. We’ll get one last (scheduled) clean in, and then she made the decision to temporarily close. She said she has lots of clients with newborns and she doesn’t want to spread it. I respect her decision and as a household of 2 healthy adults, we’ll have her whenever she wants to work.
I just called her and told her to come by and pick up her money. I might pay her for the next visit two weeks from now. I’m not sure there any more I can do.
PSA for people WFH who use 2 monitors at work: Buy Duet! Ten bucks for an app to turn an iPad into a fully functional second monitor. You can click and use touch. Works for both windows and Mac.
I swear this is not a promo post- I’m a regular reader (fleece tights!). I just know people on here like their dual monitors, and I didn’t realize HOW great 2 monitors was until I didn’t have them.
I have an older MacBook Pro and a newer iPad, so Sidecar isn’t supported on my computer (but would be for others who have newer Macs and pencil-compatible iPads!)
When trying to decide if I should buy a super cheap second monitor, or borrow mine from work, I found Duet. It connects via USB. I played around with it for a bit last night and think it will be helpful, if only to hold open OneNote and Skype rather than having to swipe between desktops on the Mac.
I assume there are security issues with this particular app. I don’t know what they would be and, honestly, I do not care, but maybe something to look into for others who work on more privileged or confidential matters.
Any apps or tools that have been helpful for you, outside the normal web meeting-type apps?
Thanks for this tip! I just passed it on to my boss (who is having us explore ways to get monitors, either by running out to the store or buying them online on the company’s dime).
love how ‘fleece tights!’ is the code word for our secret society now!
cool! Does your iPad still go to sleep or does it stay awake? Because if it doesn’t auto-lock that’s worth the $10 right there
It’s stayed awake the entire time I’ve been using it this morning (about 2 hours). I haven’t walked away for very long, but I also haven’t been on that screen the whole time and it’s still awake.
But if you go to Settings, Display and Brightness, Auto-Lock, you can turn it to “Never”!
For people discussing how to work out while at home – Orangetheory is posting half hour workouts on their Youtube page! You don’t have to be a member to access it. They are using household items as weights (house plants and tomato soup cans), so you don’t even have to own weights. I would 100% be using it if I wasn’t still in a cast from my foot surgery. I miss OTF!
Any chance you have a direct link? I looked at their youtube page and couldn’t find ’em.
If you download the app, they’re available there too.