Coffee Break: Andiamo Large Tote

137 Comments

1. Do you feel like you settled in your relationship? People say “everyone settles for something” – what did you settle for?

   1. Nope, didn’t settle.

      To me, there is a big difference between falling in love with someone who might not have every quality you originally thought you wanted, and “settling” which implies that you know this person is not really the ideal match for you, but you’re staying with them anyway, e.g., for financial reasons or because you want kids and the clock is ticking or because you think you’re not desirable enough to get someone better, or whatever other reason. I arguably did the former (DH has virtually all of my “on paper” qualities, but isn’t much of a reader, which would have been on my list if I’d written one out). But I definitely don’t think I settled, because I was 1000% sure he was the right guy for me and I was never going to find anyone I was more compatible with. Nearly 20 years later, no regrets, and although I know plenty of nice, cute guys I get along with well, I’ve never met anyone who would be as good a partner for me as my husband is.

      1. I feel similarly. But in my case, he doesn’t check any of the boxes I thought I wanted to check (or think others expect me to check) but instead brings a whole lot of other things that I’ve come to realize are more important in a romantic partner.

         1. This is interesting, can you elaborate? I think I may be in the same boat.

            My partner is not a reader and does not have a high flying career but provides for me emotionally in a way I thought I’d never have.

            How did you make that decision?

            1. Similar situation. He’s not an intellectual or politically-minded. He’s got a job, not a career. But he is supportive of me, my interests, and my career. He talks to me about his and tries to include me in them. He is not threatened by or competitive with my intellect or my career, which other men were. He is caring and loyal and committed. He is fully accepting of my physical appearance and never makes me feel self-conscious or threatened by other women. He is not lazy in any part of his or our life. And he tries to make my life better rather than simply looking to me to make his better, which I read as feminism in practice. Yet he also has the manners of a Southern gentleman, which I certainly don’t expect or demand, but makes me feel cared for.

            2. Not the poster above but you could not have paid me to be with someone who has a ‘high flying career’. I would never date a surgeon, Big Law lawyer or any other dude who might think that my career comes second. I specifically wanted someone who would be an involved dad who respected my career. Someone who is gainfully employed in some type of career but hard no on the ‘high flyers’.

            3. Yeah, I’m also hard no on the high flyers! One of the things that DH & I struggled the most with in early marriage is that he’s much more passionate about and dedicated to his career than I am, and I often felt like I came second to his career. And his career is nowhere near the intensity of Big Law or I-Banking. No way I would want to be with one of those guys, even with the big money.

            4. Anon at 3:42 PM – I have all of this, we seem to have similar partners and situations.

               But as a career woman I am having trouble reconciling what I thought I wanted with what I actually have, which are the things that seem to be more important in a relationship, as you describe.

            5. Settling:
               The way I look at it, I can much more easily fill in the gaps of, say, intellectual conversation and advice on how to succeed in my career with friends, family, and colleagues, even strangers. I can join a book club or one of those clubs where people talk about ‘big issues’ if I really feel like I need that. I am surrounded with intellectuals and brain stimulation at work. My mother and my friends and folks at a bar will talk politics anytime. (None of this is something my partner won’t engage in, he’s just not inclined to seek it out but does ask questions and then have a thoughtful discourse.) The security of my emotional relationship with my partner, satisfying physical relations, and a peaceful home life with someone who is fun and supportive and generous of spirit and time are much harder to replace and I didn’t find it in the tech SVPs, Big Law lawyers, politicians, underemployed geniuses, and semi-famous artists/musicians I have dated. I am not saying that doesn’t exist. I almost certainly passed over a few good catches in early days when I wasn’t thinking long-term and they were fishing for wives so they could check that box and focus on their careers. I don’t want to risk what I find to be a nurturing relationship in search of someone whose resume my mother might better like to brag about.

         2. Love that.

      2. +1, and I didn’t settle either.

         Does my husband occasionally annoy me with an immaterial irritating habit I wish he didn’t have? Yes, but I’m sure I do the same thing to him, and it’s an easier marriage to ignore and forgive that stuff both ways!

   2. I don’t think I “settled,” but my DH is not point for point who I “thought” I would have ended up with. That said, it turns out he’s my perfect match.

      1. Same here. I was previously married to someone who I was much more compatible with on paper: similar interests, background, hobbies, curly hair and green eyes. Unfortunately he was also a class A jerk and a liar. So when I started dating again after my divorce, I decided to focus on the basics – kind, hardworking, honest, similar core values, wants a family and isn’t afraid of commitment. Which is how I ended up with a man who is all of those things. We have very little in common on paper, extremely different interests and backgrounds, but despite the occasional bump on the road he is fundamentally a good guy and and good husband and father, and I thank my lucky starts every day that my path ended up meeting his.

         1. This is lovely. How do you reconcile your different backgrounds and interests? Has that ever led to conflict? Do you ever feel like you are smarter or more accomplished or look down on him in any way?

            1. What about your response would make you think that guy #2 isn’t smarter or more accomplished than her? Why would she look down on someone who is hardworking with similar values?

            2. Here’s my two cents – if you think you’re settling, you are. You shouldn’t marry someone you look down on or see as lesser than you, even subconsciously.

            3. I definitely don’t think I’m smarter or more accomplished. He is more into science and rock’n’roll, I’m more into literature and classical music. I’m from a wealthier background, sometimes I need to remember to check my privilege on little stuff: I know how to order fancy wine and which fork to use in a nice restaurant, I’m more well-traveled, I can name operas, that sort of thing really isn’t his vibe. He is curious and enthusiastic about the world and has gotten to where he is through pure grit and hard work, and I can only respect that because I had a much, much easier starting point. I have learned a ton from him, and he actually makes more money than I do now (not that’s a measure of worth or anything, but it’s not like I’m supporting him in any way, we are both highly educated with well-paying jobs, just in different fields). I have never looked down on him. We have the same conflicts that any intercultural and interfaith couple has: sometimes our default expectations of what’s “normal” are just radically different, and we both have to take a step back and adjust.

            4. It sure seems like we’re rehashing the “Help, my boyfriend is stupider than I am” post from earlier in the week.

   3. No, I don’t. I feel fortunate that I found a true partner in life.

   4. Yup. I never ever thought I’d date a younger guy. But he’s my absolute favorite person in the world so I’ll have to forgive him for being born a year after me.

      1. Ha, same, husband is 8 months younger than me. We were in the same year in college, so it’s not even an actual life stage difference, I just thought the guy was supposed to be older. But he’s also my favorite, so after nearly 20 years together, I’ve mostly let it go that he’s a few months younger!

   5. I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I’m married to a Trump supporter. We don’t see eye-to-eye on politics generally (and Trump specifically), but I’m not as hard left as the majority of this board. But other than agreeing to disagree on politics, we share similar values. He’s also hardworking, patient, a great communicator, loving husband and father, and a pillar in our community.

      1. My husband isn’t a Trump supporter but he’s a libertarian, and I’m definitely a centrist. We disagree wildly on a lot of things but I feel like I’m smarter for having had those disagreements.

      2. the disconnect is so great, I just think you’re kidding yourself. Hope you don’t have daughters.

         1. Yeah, you’re definitely settling. To put it mildly. Or, if you actually do share values with this guy, then… ugh.

      3. Anonymous, you have flamed yourself.

   6. Settled the first time. He was wonderful and loving and kind, but I wasn’t physically attracted to him. We eventually got a divorce and remain good friends. Told myself I wasn’t settling the second time and I absolutely did not. I’m crazy about my husband, even if he drives me nuts some times ;)

      1. +1 this was my college BF. We didn’t get married but I stayed with him way too long because it was a very nice guy and I didn’t want to hurt him. I wasn’t physically attracted to him, and knew we weren’t compatible for the long term for a variety of reasons both big and small. Finally broke up with him and six months later I was engaged to someone who is a WAY better fit for me.

   7. Yeah, no. Like others he didn’t check all of the boxes I thought I wanted at the time and instead it ended up that he checked all of the boxes I truly needed.

      1. How did you reconcile these boxes in your head? Did you have a lot of thinking to do or were you just pleasantly surprised?

         1. No, it really wasn’t that deep, lol. My list just kind of faded out and I went on with my life.

         2. If he’s the right guy for you, you won’t have to reconcile anything. You’ll just want to be with him. You don’t and that’s the issue.

            1. Yes, this exactly.

   8. My DH is amazing and we’re both convinced the other married up.

      But I did compromise on some things I swore I wouldn’t when we initially got together. He’s younger. He was from a more well-off family and wasn’t the scrappy, gritty type I normally dated. Not a big traveler. Basically, wasn’t the worldly, starving-artist/bad boy type I tended to go for historically.

      But he’s a great dad – not a quality i was necessarily looking for but it sure is an asset now that we have kids. Super supportive of my career. He brings stability for me that I didn’t grow up with and didn’t realize how much I would appreciate as an adult. Turns out stability is sexy – who knew?

   9. This feels like a variation on the post earlier this week or late last week about if our partner is smarter or less smart than us.

      DH has a Phd and is trilingual and immigrated here so I could live near by family. He’s also the stereotypical ‘absent minded professor’ so I settled in that I do a lot of managing life stuff. I settled also in that he doesn’t like to travel. I love to travel. There is always a compromise about something.

      The deeper issue is that you seem to view differenced as ‘settling’ vs compromise or realizing that no one is ‘perfect’ because we’re all human. How boring to be married to a version of one’s self. I never skied before I met DH and now skiing is one of my favorite activities. He ‘hated’ dogs and now trail runs with our Labrador daily. Be open to your right person not being who you thought they should be. I thought I only dated guys over 6’2″ with dark hair and clean shaven who own dogs. I might have dated them but it turns out I marry dog haters just under 6′ with blonde hair and a beard.

      1. Oh hi – also married to a brilliant but absent-minded professor who doesn’t enjoy travel, which I love.

      2. So then how do you tell the difference between settling and compromise?

         For example, my partner is a non reader and that feels like a compromise. But he sometimes isn’t that smart or can’t engage in higher-level conversation and that feels like settling.

         1. You sound like you don’t respect him, and that is a bigger problem.

            1. +1 to Josie and also I said this above, but if you think you’re settling, you are. It won’t matter if someone doesn’t check the “right” boxes if you love them and respect them and feel like they’re a catch. The fact that you clearly think you’re marrying down means you’re settling, and you shouldn’t do it.

         2. How would your partner not being a reader be a comprimise? I’m genuinely curious about that because mine is also pretty much a non-reader and it’s never crossed my mind to even give it a second thought…

            1. Same. My spouse was a non-reader until the past year. I am a voracious reader and it literally never occurred to me that he needed to be as much of a reader as I am.

            2. I commented above but my husband not being a reader was one of the few boxes of mine he didn’t check. I come from a family where education and books are huge and was raised with the belief that people who don’t read are unintelligent, or worse, uninterested in the world around them. And I read a ton myself and would love being able to share that with a partner, like any hobby. So yeah I always expected I’d marry someone who reads. But once I met my H it was not something I cared about at all or saw as “compromise” or “settling” and the fact that OP does is telling.

            3. 5:00pm, reading was a box not ticked for me as well. I didn’t even care once I started dating him. His passion is building and fixing things, something I am hopeless at. He is also a great father and partner, things that are so much more important than reading.

            4. My question too. I get it if it’s like he burned all your books because he hates you reading or something. I don’t if he just doesn’t share your hobby because people should have different interests of their own. I can’t imagine wanting to spend my life with someone I never wanted to talk about anything with, but it doesn’t have to be books. And I am also an avid reader.

         3. You look down on him, and that’s the definition of settling.

         4. I think it depends on whether you see it as a deficiency vs. a difference.

            1. Well said.

         5. You need to let him go because you are very fixated on reading as a kind of intelligence that is somehow extremely valuable. I was and am a voracious reader. But I am useless on anything science related. It’s plenty easy to get higher level esoteric conversations outside a romantic relationship. What’s less easy is finding a partner with the same life goals who tolerates your foibles.

            Is DH a national award winner in STEM? Here and in his home country? Yes.
            Is it way more important to me that he can patiently listen to our 12 year old explain why Taylor Swift is great or our 6 year old about why spiders are cool for the millionth time while cooking dinner because I’m late getting home again? Also, yes.

            Life is not a book club. Pick someone you want for the whole of your life for all of your life. Someone who will pick you up when you are down and cheer you on when you are soaring. Books are easy. Life is hard.

         6. If you feel like you’re settling, you are. In this case you seem to have contempt for your partner and that’s a sign it’s a mismatch.

         7. If you don’t respect him, it sounds like he’s the one that settled.

         8. For me it’s about what I actually want and what is more of just an insecurity of mine. So if we grew up in a family that placed a really high value on reading, then we may be more self conscious if our partner clearly hasn’t read something — but if it’s mainly because of how it might look to other people, we can just let go of that internalized expectation if we want. I don’t think that’s settling; I think often people are attracted to partners who don’t share their own anxieties.

            My partner can’t always pass as middle class and that can make me anxious in social situations because class background was kind of fraught in my family (i.e., my middle class parent kind of lorded it over my working class parent). It doesn’t really take a psychotherapist to imagine why I might both feel more comfortable around a working class partner than a middle class partner but also why I might feel nervous about not passing. So one of the things that makes my partner right for me also brings out an insecurity of mine, and that’s something for me to manage.

            1. I should clarify that I don’t mean I’m insecure like “maybe I don’t read enough.” It’s more that our partners can “out” the fact that we don’t invest in a particular system of values as much as some people around us do.

            2. Wow, this is incredibly insightful and very true to me. Thank you.

         9. It sounds to me like your partner is the one who settled, not you. I could never be with someone who thought about me the way you do about your partner.
            Please let this person go so they can find someone who is a better fit for them.

         10. This really doesn’t sound like the guy for you.

   10. Also voting “no” I did not settle. There are things about my husband that are, to quote Senior Attorney, “the price of admission”, but I don’t feel like I settled. These proceed admission things are – for non-critical events, my husband will often show up late, whereas I am from the “if you’re not at least five minutes early, you already late” school of thought, he doesn’t really like to travel, and he’s Jewish, whereas I am Christian.

       I read somewhere, maybe it was here, that in a healthy relationship, shared values are more important than shared interests.

   11. My husband had ninety thousand projects at any given time. I knew that when we got married.

       He has some kinky sex habits I did not fully know about (and tbh I’m not sure he did either) but we have been married a long time and sort of grew up together so we’re making it work. I think.

   12. Mine isn’t as tall as I thought. I’m a tall woman and NYE ntirw family is tall; I assumed I’d marry someone my brother or dad’s height. DH is one inch taller than me (medium tall for a guy!).

       1. I’m 5’11” and I’ve always dated guys around my height or a smidge shorter. I’m not attracted to really short guys, but if they’re like 5’8″+ it’s fine. My husband is 5’9″. When I was dating, I found tall guys were often obnoxious and I was rarely attracted to their personalities. Super tall guys also tend to like short women, in my experience (but many guys who are around 5’8 to 6′ LOVE tall women).

   13. Well i think you can settle for not having all your boxes checked in your relationship or you can settle for being single. Everything has trade offs.
       But actually feeling like you are , “settling” is probably a very personal thing.

   14. Settled in my former marriage. Honestly I wasn’t attracted to him on a physical level but thought there were other good qualities and shared values that would be more enduring. I was wrong. You need the magic to get through the rough times.

   15. My husband is every cliched country song along the lines of “And I thought I loved you then.” He gives the dad from Bluey a run for his money and absolutely killed it during my cancer journey. I can’t say I had “Handles human poop well” on any of my pre-marriage checklists, but there’s absolutely no one else I’d rather have been on that literal sh!t show of a journey with.

       1. My husband is also the human embodiment of Bandit.

   16. No, I got incredibly lucky. He’s younger than me, a wonderful husband, independently wealthy and generous with his money (!!!!) and has ZERO major issues in personality or behavior. I also find him handsome and I’m attracted to him. Other people may be able to point to objective areas that they personally would find deal breakers (he doesn’t work, he’s bald, he didn’t have a college education when I met him) but to me those were are minor. I call him my Precious Jewel.
       The compromise if you could call it that was more on that I had to wait until I was 38 to meet him and we got married when I was 42, pretty late in life compared to many others my age. I was in “dating jail” for so long before that and cried so many tears and went through so much hell.

2. That is all

   1. Wow I may have shrieked when I saw the price.

   2. Wow I may have shrieked when I saw the price.

      1. *snort*

      2. I don’t think it has the sturdy structure to easily slide across the floor during a bank job, unfortunately.

   3. I would only pay that kind of money for leather if it was still walking around and grazing…

      1. Ha!

      2. The calf would be cheaper, actually.

      3. You could buy two whole calves for that price

   4. Would only buy this if i were an intern circa 2009.

      1. HA

      2. *applause*

   5. Ka-Ching, amirite?

3. does anyone have any great shrimp recipes that are not spicy or tomato-y and not too hard?

   also what is your favorite white fish, like the kind served in a restaurant or fried fish? i dislike cod and tilapia and can never remember what other good fish are.

   1. Halibut

      1. +1 Halibut is my favorite fish.

         1. Mine too, easily, but only if not overcooked.

            I like salmon still slightly dark pink inside.

            And I love ahi that’s only seared on the surfaces.

            My favorite sushi fish is hamachi but I never see yellowtail really offered as an entree. If I did, I would absoltely order it.

   2. This used to be one of my go-to easy weeknight dinners https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/peppery_garlic_prawns/
      I don’t know the last time I made it….I’ll be putting it back in rotation!

   3. Grouper, snapper.

   4. Grouper or wild caught red snapper, with nothing but a little olive oil, salt and pepper, with a lemon wedge on the side.

   5. Halibut and sea bass, but don’t fry sea bass

   6. I do shrimp sauteed in butter and garlic, a splash of white wine, and a bit of parsley (ideally fresh). For fish, in addition to the suggestions above, I like swordfish and mahi-mahi (but I’ve never tried to make fried fish at home). Also, salmon, trout and arctic char are all very easy.

   7. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020828-lemony-shrimp-and-bean-stew?ds_c=71700000052595478&site=google&network=g&campaign_id=1400169272&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADwd30jWkx9sUYfPneCEN_Dxosx1b&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpbHz3ZTWgwMVqhKtBh3hlwFFEAAYASAAEgLjWvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

      I also sometimes substitute a can of pumpkin purée instead of diced tomatoes in shrimp stew type recipes. Or soft roasted butternut squash.

   8. Shrimp scampi is so easy! Cook shrimp in butter and oil and add some garlic/white wine/red pepper flakes as desired. Serve with crusty french bread or on top of pasta.

      1. Scampi cooked over low heat with lots of oil and garlic turns out wonderful. It takes longer, but the shrimp stays tender and the remaining garlicky, shrimpy oil is the most delicious thing to dip bread into. Low heat is the secret! I think it’s an america’s test kitchen idea.

   9. Fried how? Fish and chips? Cod is my favourite and Halibut is a close second.

   10. Halibit and flounder are both good white fish.

   11. Mahi mahi

       1. Yes to mahi mahi.

   12. NYTimes roasted shrimp and broccoli. Easy sheet pan dinner.

   13. Ina Garten’s baked shrimp recipe is delicious and simple. I use a little less butter and a regular onion in place of shallots.
       https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/baked-shrimp-scampi-recipe-1944624

4. Ugh I just found out my partner was digitally stalking me so I had to delete a few accounts (I was not doing anything inappropriate, just comments like ‘omg I totally relate’ in the twox subreddit). I feel so defeated and isolated, why don’t I get a support network? Now that I know what he was doing I also realize some of the unexplained moodswings were him reading feminist/equal labour comments and being offended.

   1. So . . . When are you leaving him?

      1. I hope you left him in the time it took for your comment to post, OP! I’m not being flip – I’m 100% serious.

      2. +1 get out now

      3. If we were on redd1t, this response would be a string of red flag emojis.

         Girl, you know this isn’t ok. Get out now.

   2. What did I just read? Whatever is happening in your relationship, this stranger thinks you deserve much better.

   3. What?! This is emotional abuse. Get out!

   4. Stalking as in creating a secret account to anonymously troll your r3ddit account ?

   5. Please consider leaving. This type of activity is not the foundation of a good relationship, and you deserve a great support network.

   6. OMG – get out now. This is not okay.

      1. +1

   7. If this is a current partner, he needs to be a former partner. Stalking you, punishing you for expressing opinions he disagrees with, etc is all far outside the bounds of a healthy relationship.

      No judgment. I’ve been there. Glad to not be there anymore.

      1. While rationally I *know* I need to leave, realistically I don’t think I can. I’m the only one paying the mortgage (not for lack of income, he simply doesn’t contribute) so I have minimal savings, and he is a high ranking public official so he could use his power to kick me out of the house and have our pets killed at the shelter.

         1. girl, what?
            stop paying the full mortgage
            connect or reconnect with family or friends who will support you
            make the plan to leave
            what country are you in? Does not sound like the US?

            and sorry but your life is more important than pets. i said what i said. that part will get sorted.

            1. Completely agree with all of this, also contact whatever DV support institutions there are where you live.

         2. ?? This is wild. All of the above (his refusal to contribute to the mortgage, his willingness to kill your pets) are just as strong, if not stronger, reasons to leave than your original comment about the cyber stalking.

         3. Please, I am begging you, call a local DV hotline. They can guide you through how to extricate yourself safely. Until then – make sure your birth control is infallable (IUD would be my pick), let your family or a trusted friend know what is going on so they can help you, and start saving as much as you can – even small amounts. If you think he’s a narcissist read up on the ‘grey rock’ technique – make yourself uninteresting to him and it’s possible he’ll chose to leave on his own.

            1. I have been grey rocking! Its a really odd experience, I am no longer getting the love bomb/abuse cycle but now he withholds affection since yelling won’t work. I have an icy roommate.

         4. If the mortgage is in your name can’t you have him removed from the home? Change the locks, get copies of the legal documents in case he tries to claim it’s his home, and put all of his things in a storage facility so he can’t claim you have his property.

            1. The mortgage is in both of our names, I am the only one that pays it. I could not have him removed from the home, he has too many connections.

            2. Ownership of house is who’s on the title and how, not who is on or pays for the mortgage.

               This internet stranger thinks your safety is paramount. This sounds terrifying, no judgement. Good luck.

         5. The fact that you thought to worry about if he will hurt the pets means you need to get out.

            Do not risk your life for your pets.

            Can you go visit anyone further away and take pets with you? Like a parent or friend? Then meet with a lawyer in person at that location or reach to domestic violence helplines

         6. Can you skip or only pay part of a payment to store up some cash?

         7. This sounds horrible. My only advice is “lawyer up, buttercup”. Limited funds be damned. Open a credit card and get representation and advice. Name and Shame can work wonders these days. He has connections, sure, but in his position he also has enemies and people who would LOVE to see him go down.

5. This is the kind of ludicrously capacious bag I can get behind (though I did notice that the bag in Succession is up for auction). Or just a BV crossbody.

6. has anyone tried to get an expedited passport recently? trying to renew my kids… did it take longer than the estimated time on the passport website? thx

   1. My friend just did it for her kid in December and got it in 3 weeks, and that was with the holidays in between, so pretty speedy.

   2. Not for kids (is that more involved if they’re under 16?) but I just renewed my own non-expedited and it took less than 2 months. My husband expedited and it was around a month. Based on hearsay, the processing time seems to have significantly sped up recently

      1. The paperwork is more complicated for kids (it’s technically a “new passport” even if they had one before, not a renewal), but I don’t think the processing times are any longer. At least, I submitted mine and my kid’s at the same time and we got them within a couple days of each other. I think hers actually came first.

   3. Mine came back in two weeks! It was super fast.

   4. Now is a good time. I got mine back in less time than the web site indicated.

   5. They have caught up – it’s super fast right now

7. Does anyone have good go-to meal plans for busy periods? I usually love to meal plan & cook for my family of 3 but I’m drowning at work and just … am not feeling it. Trying to figure out a week’s worth of dinners that are healthy, not insanely expensive/time consuming to make, and not pasta for the 8th day running is the straw that is breaking my back.

   1. Ask chatgpt!

   2. Lower your meal standards for the week? Soup from a can and grilled cheese sandwiches, pancakes with scrambled eggs & steamed veggies, loaded baked potatoes, etc.

   3. When I’m in a busy period, I usually start with salad, but once it’s gone, I don’t make a special trip out for more greens. These meals use stuff I almost always have on hand and a lot of pantry staples. Reducing trips to the store really helps me with the “too busy to deal with it” urge.
      scrambled eggs and salad
      pizza (Serious Eats’ recipe makes 3 doughballs worth and it keeps in the fridge or freezer well). Make dough, use one ball the next day, freeze the other two.
      chili made with Simply Organic vegetarian chili mix (can be made entirely with pantry ingredients and is shockingly good). This is the only vegetarian chili I’ve had/made that gets the texture right. I serve over rice, usually.
      Costa Rican gallo pinto, again with scrambled eggs, if you want extra protein, add fruit on the side if you like. Canned pineapple is good when things are hectic.
      Marcella Hazan’s tomato sauce is my quick pasta recipe, and again, it’s all long-lasting ingredients – can of tomatoes, half a stick of butter, an onion, pasta, parmesan
      Alternative pasta recipe (sorry) but good for cleaning out the fridge is sheet pan assorted veggies, roast to your liking, then add to a saucepan with Newman’s Own Alfredo and your pasta. Newman’s Own Alfredo is magic for leftover vegetables.
      Sheet pan of frozen okra sprinkled with oil and garam masala or curry powder. Cook at 400 till done to your liking. Serve over rice, or do another sheet pan of sliced potatoes, also sprinkled with oil and curry powder or garam masala.
      Pancakes are a great dinner, IMO. Add fruit if you like.
      These aren’t going to win your any fancy-dinner awards, but when life is busy and money’s tight, this is what I always end up coming back to.

   4. The thing we’re doing recently that works is one “Mexican” meat (spicy beef, crockpot salsa chicken, etc) that we can then turn into burritos, tacos, quesadillas, nachos, bowls, etc. it’s working great, at least until we get sick of it. I use high fiber wraps for mine, you can add beans or more veg too.

   5. Buy a roast chicken (or two) and some steamed veggies in a bag or bagged salad and microwave rice or quinoa or something that’s a starch and call it a day. Even better, see if your grocery store has premade meals for the oven. At this time of year, you can also just grab some of the box soups to have with a sandwich. Who doesn’t love tomato soup and grilled cheese or potato or anything else.

      If you’re stressed, don’t add meal planning. Just buy shortcuts that take minimal time.

   6. 1 air fryer veggie, 1 grain (pasta, rice, etc), 1 meat roasted in the oven or sautéed on stove. Buy a few different spice mixes for the meat or different pre-made salad dressings and make “bowls”. Example: brown ground beef with a soy-based dressing (or throw in soy sauce, garlic/ginger powder, maybe rice vinegar), make a pot of rice, and throw green beans or broccoli in the air fryer. Or chicken thighs in the oven with some Italian seasoning, orzo, and Brussels sprouts in the air fryer – mix in an Italian or lemon-based dressing if you want more flavor.

   7. OP here – these are all genius. Thank you! Just placed a grocery order leaning into these ideas & feeling better already.

   8. Charcuterie: throw crackers, cheese, fruit, sliced veggies & hummus on the table and let everyone have at it.
      Deli roasted chicken & roast some veggies; add rice if you want
      Breakfast for dinner; frittata and salad works too
      Soup & sandwiches
      Roast brats & veggies on a sheet pan; cook up some frozen pierogis, serve with mustard.

      Looking forward to other responses for my own ideas!

   9. 5 Dinners 1 Hour. You can do a sample menu for $1 or $2, and they also offer PDF versions of their plan that’s not a subscription. The whole idea is that you pick 5 dinners from their website (and they have keto, Mediterranean, low carb options) and then it generates recipes and a grocery list. You then get all your groceries and prep everything in 1 hr (but there’s no cooking ahead. Like, you marinade the chicken and cut the veggies, etc.). So each night you pull out the pre-prepped meal and make it. It’s definitely aimed for the midwest soccer mom of 5 who’s on a budget, so I often make substitutions or don’t pick certain recipes (like for my beef stew, I use chuck instead of stew meat; use fresh veg instead of frozen as listed). But it’s a huge game changer for me. And I’ll normally pick more crockpot or sheet pan dinners for busier weeks. Steak bites is one of my favorites, it’s so much easier to marinade and throw under the broiler than babysit a steak to medium rare.

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