Coffee Break: Aubrey Pumps

30 Comments

1. Do any of you cycle/road bike? I’m thinking about getting into it, I have a few friends that do it. Do you like it? Why?

   1. Respectfully, you are overthinking this. You don’t need to think about getting into it – just borrow or rent a bike a few times, go for a few rides, and see if you are enjoying yourself. If yes, then you can buy a bike and go for more regular rides. Hate it? Nothing lost!

   2. I do, and I am training for a long ride. I like seeing parts of my city on bike. It’s great exercise, and it’s all fitness level. I am not too fast or too slow. It’s challenging and can be more or less depending on how fit I am. The only downside is that I never have enough time to bike (unless I am training with long rides planned with a big group– because it’s also kinda dangerous by yourself).

   3. I love biking! I had tried it before when I lived in a place with more traffic. Now I have access to bike trails without cars and that is much more fun for me because I am not scared. A lot of ex-runners end up biking because it’s less bad on your knees. I love going for a ride with a friend or two, we talk most of the way, get a great workout in. Plus I do metric centuries (60 mile rides) which are also fun activities. Once my kids leave the house I might move up to real centuries (100 mile rides), but they require more training than I can put in right now.

      I would try to ride with bike shorts (don’t wear underwear) and try to get a bike that mostly fits you, to make you more comfortable. Also you can go much faster with clip in shoes but the first couple times expect to fall over when you can’t get your foot out.

   4. I am much older than you and a newbie at riding a bicycle that doesn’t have a baby seat on it. I got a road bike and “clipless” pedals (i.e., what I am on a campaign to call clips, because your special bicycle shoes actually clip to the pedals). Yes, I fell, slowly, a couple of times while clipping in – you can avoid it if you clip in your dominant foot at the bottom, then backpedal to the top so that you can get some momentum when you start, and don’t try to clip in and turn at the same time – but when you are clipped in and on a good bicycle it’s like flying. Getting a lightweight bicycle that fits makes a huge difference. If you think you might like it, I predict that you’ll love it.

   5. I bought a road bike last year. I love my bikie! (yes, I am a dork). I haven’t been riding much this year because I am BUSY and I am back on a harder running schedule which has taken priority.

      It is really freeing to get on your bike and go, go, go. I would makes sure you have access to safe, quiet roads or trails (I don’t like city biking), and make sure you have the time. 60 minute run is way more work than a 60 minute bike ride. I regularly went out for 2 hours and that’s not a long ride by biking standards. Also, if you get a flat, it sucks. Finding buddies is helpful.

      Now I want to go hop on my bike…!

2. I recently started getting Law Crossing job alert emails to my work email even though I never signed up for them. I had been getting emails from their parent company too, unsolicited and unsubscribed. I got a Law Crossing one today though that actually made me really curious. It’s a job description I’m qualified for and may actually be interested in applying. (Firm to in-house). The job description is a bit vague though and I can’t tell if they are hiring for an insurance company or a hospital. There aren’t very many in-house insurance jobs in my city so I’m a bit skeptical this potential job exists. Is there anyway to actually find out the company before applying? I know I can contact them but I’m getting a bit of a scammy vibe so I wanted to check in here first. Are they known for posting fake ads just to get your info? Clearly they spam email addresses so . . . .

   1. A lot of those postings are not real jobs and you will get a response of oh, well that one got filled but let me get all your information in case something else comes up. It’s unlikely any recruiter will tell you the name of the company right before you sign an agreement not to circumvent them by applying on your own.

   2. Can you cross reference with postings on Amer. Health Lawyers, Assoc. of Corporate Counsel, etc? I’ve never had much luck with lawcrossing or bcgsearch aside from some self-important sounding emails from their founder.

   3. The best way to find out if an ad is legit is to copy a very-specific part of it and paste it back into a search engine. 9/10 times, the HH don’t change the job description and you can find it elsewhere. Seriously. It’s so easy. Try this.

      1. Thanks. I had tried that but I guess I didn’t pick the right sentence. I just tried it again and found the position on the actual company’s website.

3. So I need some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months and everything is going amazing. Except for one thing – he seems to have an insecurity about me going out to events where there will be drinking. It’s not entirely unfounded – my friends are pretty crazy and sometimes things get wild but I’ve definitely toned down my behavior and my drinking. This has unfortunately spread to work events – there are occasionally industry events or drink nights I have to go to which involve more than a couple drinks and I can tell it bothers him. I’m just really not sure what to do. I can stop going but it’s going to impact my job at some point.

   Any advice?

   TIA!

   1. Tell him to stop being a controlling jerk and get over himself? Deal with the fact that you have a drinking problem? Ignore him if he’s just mildly irritated

      Idk but no part of the solution involves not going to events any more.

      1. +100

         The solution (potentially; assuming it’s the quantity and/or frequency of drinking that’s the issue) involves you drinking less. Hard lesson learned myself in my mid 20s. Open bars are work events =/= open bars in college/at weddings/etc.

   2. Hug’s but I agree with the first OP. You do seem to have a record of being wild and your boyfreind does NOT like it when you are with freind’s that get drunk. What did you do when you “get wild”? If your boyfreind care’s about you, he does not want to come get you off the floor weareing your panties like a party hat on your head, or worse yet, pregnant from one of your freind’s who drank to much. I think you first have to connvince your boyfreind that you have reformed (if true) and that you will limit your ALCHOHOL intake, and NOT get wild with your freinds. If you are serius with your boyfreind, you should NOT be drinkeing to excess with other guy’s who will want you to have sex with them. That is why your boyfreind is being controling. I tried this with Sheketovits–I did NOT like him getting drunk in public, tho I am pretty sure NO woman would pull their panties down for him, even if he was sober — other then me, who was stupid. So I would take the high road and moderate your behaviour, and tell your boyfreind that if he does NOT trust you he can come along to watch over you to see that you have reformed. Then, make sure to stay sober and to keep your panties where they belong. On your tuchus, not your head. YAY!!!!

   3. This needs to stay his problem.

      [Assuming that nothing untoward is happening: no downing bottles of gin, public vomiting, nekkid selfies, having friends call him to pick you up (unless this is par for the course). If you are doing you, I think the most he gets is “I am concerned about when you do X b/c . . .” ( and the blank is the most important thing), but this is your call.]

   4. Can you tell what bothers him?
      * The way you might act at the event
      * You coming home drunk
      * How you’ll get home
      * That you’ll get caught up in something that other people are doing
      * That you’re different when you’ve been drinking

      If you can find out what the problem is you might be able to mitigate it.

      Do you know if there’s something in his history that makes him more prone to be upset about this?

      1. The one thing I took to heart when my ex from last year and I broke up was the things he said about my drinking. Real talk: we were both drinking too much and I am a terrible drunk. He had to take care of me more than once, which is not acceptable as a 34 year old. I also got aggressive when I was drunk. Also not acceptable. I used to be a pretty heavy drinker. More than one glass a day and always at events/HHs/any day ending in Y. I had a drinking problem.

         After we broke up, he sent me two letters, one was a re-write of history, but it contained the information about the drinking incidents. I took it to heart and pretty much stopped drinking, but for a drink maybe once a week. It took my friends a minute to get used to it and it took me a bit to get used to being at events without drinking, but in the end it turned out to be NBD. I am still fun, I can still HAVE fun, and no one cares at work events if you have a club soda and not a vodka and soda.

         The point of this lengthy response it two fold: (1) talk to him and get to the bottom of what his concern is; and (2) examine your drinking habits to see if they are healthy and if they are really working for you.

         1. +1

   5. Can you ask him? Something like ‘I may be wrong here, but I feel like you’re concerned about me going to parties where there will be drinking. I understand that I’m around some heavy drinkers there, but I feel like I’m able to indulge in a controlled way.’ Listen thoughtfully to his perspective.

      My husband doesn’t drink anymore and his drinking experiences were binges in college. When we met he really wasn’t used to the idea that someone would have one or two drinks and then stop. I barely drank in college but, when I met my husband, was having a glass of wine almost every day. I think what helped was that I stopped drinking for a few weeks because of medication. It showed him that 1) nothing was really different when I had a drink or didn’t and 2) I wasn’t compelled to drink (wine was a treat, not an addiction).

   6. What’s your industry? You say that work events involve “more than a couple” of drinks. I realize that it can be weird not to drink at all at some events (although aruguably it shouldn’t be) but most industries frown on more than 2-ish drinks at a time. Sure we’ve all gone on and had another round or two at the hotel bar at a conference when we’re all on travel and staying at the hotel (and therefore not driving home), but unless you’re in maybe entertainment or some other unusual industry, it seems surprising that drinking 3+ drinks in a night is expected.

   7. Any chance its not the drinking but rather just the late nights out? I get grumpy at my husband when he goes out drinking with his friends and colleagues multiple times in a week, but its more about the “you are constantly going out without me and leaving me home alone” and the fact that when he overdoes it when he comes home he smells really strongly of bar and booze, wakes me up with his fumbling and crashing around, he snores (doesn’t do that sober) and is either extremely difficult to wake in the morning, extremely grumpy, or straight up won’t get up and we blow the next weekend morning too. Basically, we both get crap sleep and we’re both grumpy the next day, and while I’m understanding of it from time to time on big occasions (bachelor’s parties, big birthdays, etc) I get annoyed when it’s multiple times a week and not for special occasions and I feel like I am lower priority than the friends and booze – because he is a grown up who is capable of having just 1-2 drinks and then coming home at a reasonable hour. Most of the time we are ok, but every so often I have to point out to him just how often he is going out and staying out late, and then he gets it and dials it back and things are much more balanced.

      Even if you feel these work events are necessary, are they really necessary for you to stay late and drink a lot? Or would you get 90% of the effect by popping in for an hour or two, having one drink and then coming home? I get that social events can be important for work, but saying “sorry sweetie, I have to go spend multiple nights a week out late at the bar for work” just wouldn’t work for me.

   8. I’m not really sure about the facts here so I generally agree with this being overly controlling… except for your comment about industry events that “involve more than a couple of drinks”. In my experience, industry/work events NEVER involve “more than a couple” of drinks. I’m with InfoGeek that clarity about what bothers him is the key, and with the first Anonymous that the solution could involve drinking less. On a practical level, I find glasses of club soda with lemon or lime or ginger ale or even coke is completely acceptable at events and can be alternated with alcohol in whatever ratio is necessary to stay appropriate.

4. Has anyone tried designing their own shoes at Shoes Of Prey? As a woman with relatively large feet (size 11 US) who loves shoes, particularly brightly colored kitten heels (Butter types, which they apparently have in all sorts of materials and colors), it sounds pretty appealing to me. That said, I’m reluctant to drop $200 (and wait five weeks for them to be made) without doing substantial due diligence as to customer service, durability, comfort, etc. Any thoughts?

   1. I’ve thought about it. They have design studios at some Nordstroms stores so I may check that out.

   2. OMG I want to try!

5. There’s a really interesting article about women saying “sorry” too much in today’s NYT. I’ll post the link, but it’s something I notice in myself and I’ve been trying to stop.

   1. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/23/opinion/when-an-apology-is-anything-but.html?_r=0

   2. Has anyone seen the Amy Shumer “I’m sorry” skit? Its brillant

      1. The skit was amazing and – sadly – totally true to life for me sometimes.

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