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Coffee Break: Ballet Loafers

If you're looking for casual-yet-polished flats, these ballet loafers from Tory Burch look great. I'm a fan of this caramel/tan color, but there are several other options (and they're all getting pretty good reviews!)

The shoes are $298-$328 at Nordstrom, Bloomingdale's, Zappos, Tory Burch, and other retailers.

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Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

141 Comments

  1. I think it’s the color and maybe the angle of the photos, but these shoes look like cosplay for a medieval peasant or something.

  2. Tell me about vacationing with other families or adult couples. Assume for the sake of the question that there are two or three families that travel together once a year and stay in a vacation house each time. The vacation houses have an “adult” bedroom for each couple, but assume that one room is clearly superior (nicer bathroom, larger, etc.) to the other one or two adult bedrooms.
    Two questions —

    1) How do you decide who gets what room in the house?

    2) If there is one person that typically does the planning each year (including reserving the house/collecting the funds from the other families), does that change the answer to #1?

    1. The planner gets the best room, everyone else gets to choose in the order they paid the planner.

      With a lopsided planning situation like you have, that can seem unfair to the other guests, but … it’s a way to thank the planner for doing the legwork, so you’d have to come up with a different way to do that.

      1. I think this is the best way to do it. Definitely the planner gets the best room. The other way is to draw lots, but to me that seems unfair to the planner because being the planner is a pretty big job.

      2. +1 my BFF is the planner so she gets the best room. She (and her DH I suppose) deserve to be compensated for that labour to organize it all.

      3. Urgh, yes, this is what I assumed, and honestly, is part of the reason I took on the effort to plan the last two years. We have the younger kids, so I spent a lot of time finding houses that would work for a big group of people (trying to keep my kids away from other sleeping adults or older kids).

        The first year, I thought there was weirdness when we got set up in the largest room, but shook it off, but this past year, the other couple was definitely awkward when I outlined why I picked the house I did based on the layout (keeping my young baby away from other adults) and made a few comments about how their room was “just okay.” Each room had a king bed, en suite bathroom, but the one we were in was definitely larger. No one shares a room with kids (except us b/c baby); the houses were specifically picked so that each adult gets their own room.

        Now, as the homes are opening for next year’s trip, I’m finding myself super resentful about planning. I can’t fathom going on a trip and assuming I would take the bigger room when someone else put in all the effort to find the house, pay the deposits, and just collected from me six months after it’s all done. These are also beach trips, where some thoughtfulness is needed to make sure we are balancing cost and effort to actually get on the water (we can’t afford beachfront, so we have to be creative). I’d just be happy that I got to go along. I’ve asked the other family if they’d like to take over planning for next year, but the responses have been “but you do such a good job.” My husband is suggesting that we book our preferred house, and send an email ahead of time that suggests what room each person takes, and if they want to address it head on, they will. Otherwise, not worry about it?

        1. Be straight forward and directly say ‘planning is a lot of effort, whoever plans gets the best room’. If they want the best room bad enough they will step up, if not they had their shot.

        2. Your options:
          1. Go on vacation without them. Resentment is not the kind of baggage you want to take on vacation.
          2. Be straight with them that planning takes a lot of time and you’re getting first dibs on bedrooms.
          3. Tell the couple that it’s their turn to plan.

    2. If it’s the same house and same couples, I’d just rotate so everyone gets a change to stay in the nicer bedroom. That would even work in different houses, if there’s always a nicer room.

      If costs aren’t getting split evenly between families (like if one has more kids), then you could also consider asking if someone wants to pay more for the nicer room, but I think this is a little awkward if you’re splitting evenly otherwise. I don’t think it matters who does the organizing, though hopefully everyone does some of the planning work so that it doesn’t always fall on one person.

    3. My SIL and her husband just couldn’t sleep in anything less than a king and settled into a 500 sq ft room once they arrived (despite knowing the BR situation when we agreed to rent the place) and I got to share a room with two full beds in it among me, DH, and two kids. [There were other adults in the group and other kids; all arriving at slightly different later times.] SIL’s kid slept in another room. We have started all renting condos that are definitely less fancy and a bit more expensive but 100% good at keeping the peace.

    4. I agree that the planner should get first dibs, unless there’s some practical reason to prioritize another need (say if the best room is on the main floor, and one of the other guests has mobility issues).

    5. I think you have to address it head-on. If the other couple is being passive aggressive about it, tell them ahead of time that you’re taking the big room and they can pick whichever other room they like. Don’t explain why you get the big room. Don’t apologize.

    6. I usually do the planning and we usually arrive first so we tend to pick in order of arrival, we don’t always take the biggest room and usually as people arrive I’ve commented ‘John and Jane had the smallest room last time so let’s leave them a good one but pick what you like!’. I’ve found some friends don’t care or some value bed size over bathroom access etc. regardless of who plans I like that we rotate each time but if someone has brought a kids or dogs (which varies if they do) then those things take picking precedence over who’s arranged it.

    7. Also, what do you do when some grownups want their own room and some are couples sharing a room. Per room vs per person or some sort of blended rate? My issues are with an in-laws’ beach trip where there is a failure to launch adult that I feel like we are subsidizing (who also gets her own room while I have to listen to in-room snoring). It died with the pandemic I thought but it is back for 2022.

      1. I’d let it go. I get that you want her to pay equal to what others are paying, but how, exactly, would you go about getting the family to change how payment is divvied up? In the “choose your battles” world, that doesn’t seem like a battle I’d choose.

      2. Maybe this is an unsympathetic take, but the “in-room snoring” is presumably your spouse, not a random stranger or an adult family member who isn’t your spouse. So that’s not something being inflicted on you because of your in-laws; that’s your spouse.

        As a relatively newly married person, I fully appreciate how much money we save on a regular basis by being married. So if we have to pay a bit of extra money every so often so a single person gets their own room and doesn’t have to share like they are 10 years old again, whatev.

      3. No, sorry. Your friend is paying single-people-tax ALL over the place. If you have to listen to snoring on holiday as well as home, that’s on you, not the single person. There are lots of other ways to divide cost, but for you to go grouchy because your bed partner snores? Just f off.

        1. What?

          The rent should be split by room, not by person. If you want to get technical, split common areas by # of people and bedrooms by occupancy.

    8. The planner definitely gets first dibs – I thought this was a universally accepted principle of traveling with other adults!

      That being said, in reading your follow up, it sounds like people haven’t been super happy with their rooms/lodging so I’d just ask more about what they are looking for in the house/room set up. I would ask who’s planning this year, note in that email that whoever plans gets the best room, and then if they want you to plan, I would follow up and ask “What are your top 2-3 priorities for the house? No promises, but I’ll see if I can find something that works.”

      1. This. If the rooms are materially different, either rotate when you return or find a house where no one has a crummy room while others are awesome. My room once was a sleeper sofa in the den that was listed as a bedroom but really wasn’t. Ugh.

    9. I think I’m just unfamiliar with the idea that one person does all of the work for a trip, especially year after year. Whoever I’ve done this, one person might book the house, another takes charge of meal planning and groceries, someone else scouts out activities, etc. Come up with a better division of labor you don’t feel like you’re doing all the work.

    11. 1) The planner who makes all the effort and spends all the hours and thinks about everybody else (1a)
      OR the person who pays all the deposits and puts everything on their card and then eventually has to ask for money (1b) … gets the best room.

      2) No. If person 1a) and person 1b) is the same person – there IS NO DOUBT. ALWAYS the best room.

  3. Travel question: Does anybody have any recommendations for restaurants, sights, or day trips in/around Amsterdam? We will be there in early June and I am looking for fun things to do after our barge trip ends and before our flight home. Already talking about the Van Gogh Museum and Anne Frank House.

    1. We were there in 2018 and enjoyed these restaurants:
      Cafe de Klepel (Jordaan)
      De Kas – a bit outside the city, but they have a beautiful farm and greenhouse and delicious food
      Pluk (Nine Streets) – good for casual breakfast/lunch
      Pancakes Amsterdam – tiny spot that is also in the Nine Streets, good for traditional Dutch pancakes

      Activities:
      Anne Frank house
      Rijksmuseum
      Van Gogh museum
      Walk ore bike ride in Vondelpark
      Canal boat ride – we used “Those Dam Boat Guys” when we were there in 2018, they are smaller boats, it was great

      We also did the Heineken experience tour, which was fun but fine to skip if you don’t have time.

      If you’re staying overnight, I highly recommend Hotel Pulitzer.

    2. My favorites were in order: Anne Frank tour, Rijksmusuem, bike tour, canal boat tour, Van Gogh Museum (frankly would have skipped if alone).

      Day trip on train to The Hague is easy and fun. There I loved the Mauritshuis and the Louwman car museum. Utrecht is further but absolutely gorgeous. Didn’t like Rotterdam (much more industrial, less of a tourist destination).

    3. In contrast, I really liked the Van Gogh museum! All the other recommendations above are great. For eating, get Indonesian food for sure (rijsstaffel if you’re hungry!). We liked Aneka Rasa, although fair warning it was in the middle of the Red Light district. I liked The Hague as a day trip – the Escher museum was fun. It was one of my favorite cities, enjoy!

    4. Rijksmuseum. Better than Van G, and next door. Van G will pop in at LACMA or Getty, but you’ll never see the Night Watch outside of Amsterdam.

      Amsterdam is weird. It’s circular, laid out as a bicycle tyre, and you’ll get disorientated. The hotels are cramped and damp, and the people are broad and unapologetic about being in your way. It’s very lovely and you’ll have a fantastic time, but don’t worry about doing things – get lost instead!

    5. I liked getting out of the center and taking the train a stop or two over to Muiderpoort (Mow-der-port). We went to the market there. If you can find a market, get a herring sandwich with fresh onions or fried fish. Or poffertjes (little pancakes made in a cast iron pan and topped with powdered sugar). Or both. The oranges are also normally very good, though perhaps that is Rotterdam-specific as it is a massive port. I loved the port tour we took in Rotterdam, by the way — it’s one of the largest in the world, and it’s fascinating. Rotterdam otherwise is rather industrial and not picturesque. If you want very picturesque, I might go to Delft. I found it more walkable than Den Haag/The Hague and quite pretty for simply walking around. It is also where a major artist (Vermeer?) grew up, so I believe there’s a good museum. It was more than a decade ago, so my memory isn’t perfect. Please also get a hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream somewhere (ahh, Dutch dairy!), try drop (Dutch licorice, not as sweet as in the US), and if you have a toaster, toast some bread and get chocolate sprinkles and butter to put on it! Stroopwaffels (syrup waffle cookies) are also much better in the Netherlands than what you can buy at Trader Joe’s.

  4. does the color or something on these shoes feel manly to anyone else or am I seeing something?

  5. I get really dizzy if I workout more than 3 hours after a meal. Last night I had to sit after just five minutes of warming up, because I felt like I was going to pass out. I’ve previously been told I have low blood pressure, so I avoid quick changes from prone to standing, but my trainer was super worried and suggested I call my primary. Anyone else experience this? Is it really worth calling my primary? (I’m healthy, early 30s typically considered underweight based on BMI alone but former gymnast so pretty muscled/feel great other than the occasional dizziness. Had my thyroid and blood sugar checked about ten years ago for similar symptoms and everything was fine. Breezed through my annual physical last fall.)

    1. This is me and every doctor has told me it’s normal since I’m a healthy small female with low blood pressure.

        1. Snacks! About an hour before the gym I’ll have a granola bar and a juice or something. Just a small snack.

    2. When I was younger and at a lower weight & muscled, I used to have this issue when the weather started warming up as spring gave way to summer. Drinking more water and upping my salt helped. I did have a full workup to rule out anything more sinister. Maintaining weight at the mid to upper of what’s considered the healthy BMI range for my height (imperfect guide that it is) except when I have a reason to drop has also helped.

    3. Long term low blood pressure is bad for the heart (having low blood pressure isn’t “healthy”), so it’s not a bad idea to get it checked out. Some people just don’t hold on to electrolytes well and need to think about how we hydrate (I have to supplement magnesium and be generous with salt). Some people have issues with blood vessel dilation and hypovolemia as well.

      Re. blood sugar, I was tested for insulin and glucose tolerance as well as blood glucose (some people get symptoms from falling blood glucose even if it’s not overtly low, so just taking blood sugar isn’t full testing; also ten years ago is ages for something like this).

      Whether any given primary care doctor has any background in types of orthostatic intolerance is extremely hit or miss in my experience.

      1. This, I went to see a doctor about my varicose veins (thanks pregnancy!) and he was the one who told me I likely had POTS after examining my blood flow via an ultrasound (which was pretty cool btw). Magnesium does help as does allll the salt (I’m not on salt pills yet but it’s close).

    4. I used to have this when I worked out in the morning. I generally have super low blood pressure. I discovered that if I drank a lot of water it fixed the problem. So if I’m going to a morning class, I try to drink a liter of water before I go and another pretty early in the class. Probably salt would make a difference too.

    5. Drink a gatorade/powerade/cure type beverage before class. It will balance your electrolytes.

    6. This is related to low blood pressure. Happened to me a lot in pregnancy when my blood pressure was extra low. I’m tall and healthy/overweight borderline by BMI so I don’t think it has anything to do with being “small.”

    7. Liquorice is known to elevate blood presssure, so there are lots of herbal tea options if you need a boost.

      Both BMI underweight (even though that might mean perfectly healthy!) and “checked ten years ago” are, if not red flags, at least orangey, though. Maybe do a less general physical?

      Oh, and of course – check your iron!

    8. Sounds like POTS to me. Until all the research about long covid hit I was unaware this is an actual ‘thing’ and I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. My doctor talking about doing the log role move to get out of bed and I was like, uh, yeah, been doing that since I was a teenager so I don’t faint after I get up. Apparently no, that’s not what everyone does. Sigh.
      My doctor suggested smaller meals with more protein, WAY more salt than you would normally eat, and using an electrolyte powder in my water when I’m working out. I wasn’t aware that drinking a ton of water without consuming a fair amount of salt can make the symptoms worse as you’re diluting the salt in your body – hence the suggestion to use electrolyte powders/gummies/etc.

    9. Petite person here with low BP too! Im echoing the advice in this thread – salt and electrolytes are your friend. When it’s hot or I have a big workout I do diluted Gatorade (I love red but it’s so sweet, so I do probably 1/5 Gatorade and 4/5 water), and I often grab a handful of shelled sunflower seeds if I feel lightheaded to get a quick salty protein boost.

  6. Random Q. If you are in an international BigLaw firm that is based in the US and is a predominantly US firm (so not Freshfields, etc.), do you have to use a day-month-year convention in client alerts for US clients on US law issues? Or the usual month-day-year convention?

  7. Sometimes when I’m half asleep, between 10p-1am, I crave sweets. Cookies, ice cream — anything sugary. I feel like I can’t sleep until I eat something sweet. My blood work is totally fine, I’m not diabetic. Willpower isn’t winning here. Anyone figure out how to kick the late night sleepy sweet tooth habit?

    4. Not something as serious as diabetes, but it still sounds like something could be missing from your diet – are these days when you’re not eating as much as usual or maybe fewer carbs than normal?
      The reason I ask was that when I had this as a kid it was a low-blood-sugar-at-night thing, but not at all diabetes.

      If you want to avoid it, sweet teas? Fruit?

    6. This may sound weird, but are you sure you haven’t conditioned yourself to crave sugar when you are tired? I say this because this is how I kicked (sort of) my sugar habit, when I realized that my afternoon and after dinner sweet tooth was my body telling me I was tired, and me responding with trying to give it more energy in the form of sugar. Naming my emotion -“I am tired”- really helped. In the evening, I then gave myself permission to relax instead of running around doing laundry or whatever other thing I felt like I had to do before the day was over.

  8. I have a small coat closet in my entryway/kitchen. It has turned into a jumble of clothes, and I’d rather use it as a pantry (since I don’t have a pantry). The closet goes back about 1.5 feet past the door opening, so it isn’t exactly ideal but I like the idea of organizing it and seeing dishes, pots, pans, and food. Any suggestions or don’t-dos? (I don’t have pinterest or isntagram or anything like that, I plan to try to search but thought I would start here!)

    1. Check out Elfa type systems, which allow you to adjust shelf height pretty easily. You might want the shelf style that has the wires closer together (I forget what that’s called) if you have small bottles or packages that might not always sit evenly on shelves with “regular” wire spacing.

    2. We did this to weirdly shaped coat closet and it has been wonderful and so much more useful. We put a mini fridge in the bottom (sounds like yours may not be deep enough), some Elfa drawers from container store and just plain white wooden shelves hung on a bracket system from Home Depot. I got some stepped racks for canned goods. We store almost all our food in it. It’s not overly fancy or anything, but a much better use of the space than a coat/junk closet.

      1. We did this as well with our coat closet. One thing that has helped a lot is a door-mounted wire set of shelves. It holds so much! Most of our canned goods are on it.

    3. I know this is late but I have a door mounted spice rack from the container store that I love. It’s probably 60″ long and hold oils/vinegars on the bottom and spices on the top racks

    4. Utilisz the door for anything that might go in a wire rack thingy and be useful to see right away.

      Unless you are talking about stockpots, instant pots or crockpots, don’t store regular pots and pans in your pantry.

      Know your organizing style. Do you like micro type categories, or is a bin with “baking” fine? Do you want to see everything, or are you comfortable with closed and opaque containers?

  9. I feel really sad today. My family finally makes enough money to afford to move into a house large enough for our needs in my LCOL/MCOL area and the rates have made such houses out of reach. We have good credit and we were quoted 5.7%. When I say large enough for our needs I don’t mean anything fancy. We live in a starter home with less than 1000 and 1 bathroom. We really would just like a second bathroom and a separate dining room.

    I know things could be worse and I should just be thankful that we have a home that we can afford but GAH! I actually cried about it today. I feel like i got SO close. :-(

    1. Sympathy. Trying to buy first home in an area that was never bad for housing until everyone from the cities fled here (plus the market in general!). Houses we could afford a year ago are now well out of reach. Your feelings are valid! It sucks out there right now.

    2. Your interest rate isn’t forever. If rates drop significantly you can refinance your loan at the lower rate. So buy the house if you can afford the monthly nut and then wait for opportunities to reduce your costs.

      1. +1, when we bought in the mid 00’s our interest rate was in the 5’s. We refinanced for just under 3.

        1. I bought my first place with an interest rate in the low 7s. Then refinanced with every significant drop.

          1. This. My first mortgage in 2004 was 7.25. I was ecstatic when I got to 5.375% on my second place via a refinance in 2008/9?

        2. Bought in 2007 originally. Interest rate of 6.25%, which was low-enough to brag about at that point.

      2. This is true, but I suspect they’ll be this high for at least 3 years or so, which are the most penny-pinching years in a house, in my experience.

  10. So, I have an important interview next week on Tuesday afternoon, for another role at my company (a promotion + move to a different department)! My manager is fully supportive and has given me the whole afternoon off, but this is the first job I’ve interviewed for internally (I’m young and have always been in the same department).

    Does anyone have advice for being interviewed by people you know/colleagues at the same company? I’m sort-of-friends with someone in that department (and I know that he’s involved in hiring), and I’ve been in a few meetings with the VP (although we’ve never spoken directly), but I don’t know anyone else currently working there. I don’t know who’s doing the interviews (3) – it could be anyone.

    Would my approach change depending on the person / how well I know them? And any advice??

    I don’t want to be too informal, but it would feel a bit weird to go full-interview mode when they were complaining about their hangover to me a few weeks ago! Do I just hope my sort-of-friend isn’t the one interviewing me? Help!

    1. Biggest thing is to not go in with the attitude that they know you. I’ve interviewed so many internal candidates who either did not bring their A game or assumed that I knew them, so they were not thorough in their answers. If you want the job, go in and act as prepared and polished as if you were an external candidate.

      1. This. I made a switch from one department to another (think teapot painting to teapot design) and even though I knew the entire team hiring me aside from their big boss I treated it as seriously as if I was an external candidate – suited up, asked them questions about their work style/what they wanted in a candidate, had lots of examples of how my work history would translate/etc. I was also super prompt with my thank you notes and got the job :)
        Good luck!!

      3. Not really short-waisted in my experience. I need their petite to fit my short waist hour-glass form (5f6)

        But I’d say that they are very well suited to somebody with a long torso who wants a shorter waist visually than their own, think Duchess Kate.

        In terms of width etc I’d say they are normal UK/Europe, so maybe slightly smaller than the equivalent US Gap/ON etc. I would say a Boden UK8 is a US 2 in Old Navy.

    3. Very true to size. I use the measurement chart on the site and a tape measure at home and it’s always spot on.

    4. I always like to note that Boden has actual garment measurements. So, measure a shirt or dress or pants that fit you, and compare those measurements to Boden’s size charts.

      They also have free shipping and free returns, so I order a couple of sizes if I’m unsure.

      1. Chiming in that Boden charged return shipping on some recent returns I made! The shipping to me was free, but their was a deduction for shipping on the return amount. I thought return shipping was free, so this was a surprise.

  12. Anyone want to help me plan two weeks in Australia with a 6 year old? We’ll be going in late May/June 2023, which I know isn’t ideal weather-wise but that’s when we can travel. I went to Australia as a kid and visited Sydney, Ayers Rock and Cairns. I’m assuming we’ll do at least a couple days in Sydney since that’s where the international flights land, but I’d prefer not to repeat the other two stops. I’m interested in Adelaide and Kangaroo Island, but beyond that I’m kind of at a loss as to where to go/what to do. My top priority is beautiful scenery and kiddo’s top priority is seeing animals, especially kangaroos and koalas.

    1. Fun! Just a heads up that you should use the indigenous name Uluru instead of Ayers Rock now.

        1. Why? Giving the correct name is helpful for planning. What would you say if someone asked for advice in going to Constantinople, Siam or Madras?

          1. These ancient city names are not good analogies. Uluru may be preferred for PC reasons, but both names are widely used and a Google search for Ayers Rock pulls up all the info you would need about it.

          2. I’d say “You’re terrible at coming up with relevant examples to make your point.”

          3. Not a “PC reason”, it’s an actual name change. Ayers Rock is no longer used, just like Madras or Siam so it’s an excellent analogy.

            Stop being so ignorant, it makes you sound racist as well.

      2. Yes, that’s right, it’s Uluru and you’ll do much much better with planning and searching using the proper name so don’t listen to the moaners.

        Land in Melbourne or Brisbane instead. Brisbane will be nice in late autumn and winter. The Gold Coast, hinterland and Australia Zoo are near Brisbane. Not far to drive to Noosa with beautiful beaches and a gorgeous National Park.

        Melbourne is very cool these days, great food scene (and of the Movida restaurants). There will also be lots of farm stays in Victoria which would be good as a 6 year old and get to see wildlife.

        Tasmania is also extremely beautiful and has wildlife not seen on the mainland like pademelons (squeee!), quolls, Tasmanian devils but is cold that time of year.Rental cars are also a problem there at the moment with Aussies all holidaying locally.

        I’m in Canberra, the capital, and it’s known as the Bush Capital and regularly see kangaroos around town. Again, cold here then but if you are interested in coming here let me know and I can suggest more things a six year old would love (Questacon, Tidbinbilla).

    2. I love Melbourne – it’s a great, livable city with wonderful food. Really good history museum. You could do a few days there and then drive out to the Warburton area for hiking/cycling, wineries, and beautiful scenery. There’s also a great zoo near Warburton that’s all native wildlife. From there, you could continue on to the Grampians, which is a beautiful mountainous area with indigenous rock art (and a great museum/cultural center run by the local indigenous community that contextualizes that art), fantastic hikes, and absolute gobs of wild kangaroos. The Halls Gap Lakeside holiday park has really fun and nice glamping facilities and is perfect for kangaroo watching.

    3. Go to Philip Island. 2.5 hours drive from Melbourne, great koala preserve, lots of wallabies, google penguin parade.

  13. Hi friends!

    I’m seriously considering buying a Vitamix, especially because right now the E310 is on sale everywhere. It’s now under $300. Is it worth it? Would love to hear your thoughts before I go for it!

    1. I say yes. I got one and I am VERY minimalist in my approach to kitchen appliances. If you have a plan for how you will use it, get it. They are great machines.

    2. I have a 10 yo Vitamix, similar to what you’re looking at and i love it. We use it for soups, smoothies, salsa, rough chopping, occasional coffee grinding, etc. If you use a blender (and possibly food processor) alot, then it might be worth it.

    3. Love mine! It was a covid purchase and I don’t regret it but I may have gotten a refurbished one, I don’t remember.

    4. If there was a fire and I could only save one thing from my kitchen, it would be a toss-up between the vitamix and my nespresso machine. I’ve had my vitamix for 10ish years–still going strong. I love it.

    5. I bought a refurbished vitamix 10 years ago in grad school when it was a BIG SPLURGE. It ties with Lasik for the best money I’ve ever spent. Other blenders are just disappointing.

  14. is anyine using poshmark or other sites to buy work clothes?

    some missok, ming wang and Brooks Bros plus talbots jackets and pants

  15. If you’re still covid cautious [in the DC area where rates are high and masking is kind of gone] would you go tour houses if you wanted to buy a house? IDK something about going into strangers’ homes seems risky even with a mask; sometimes in this area people move out before listing their homes but recently I have found that not to be true – probably because they are done with the pandemic so people walking thru is NBD to them. Like would you go to an open house? Only go if you could get a showing separate from the open house [though in this are it often happens that you show up and some other couple is there also on a private showing so you’re not guaranteed to be alone – you could potentially have you + your realtor + another couple/their realtor and these days people here aren’t going to mask.

    2. Yes. I’m more Covid cautious than most people I know and I go to the theater and on airplanes in a KN95 mask, which seems a lot riskier. I’d wear a mask in this situation – mainly because I don’t really see a downside to wearing a mask – but I really don’t think touring houses with one realtor (who might mask up if you ask?) is a high risk activity. Also haven’t you posted about this before?

    3. If you don’t want to buy a house sight unseen, you’ll need to mask up and go to a showing. You don’t have a lot of options here.

      1. Right? And definitely not in this market. If you try to go in later, house is already sold. If you try to go in earlier, solo, house is already sold. If you go in with the masses, just remember to write a good bid escalation clause to your offer, which you should have ready to go absent squatters in the basement (and IIRC, that house sold, too, in days).

  16. Panicking a bit here and looking for advice. My husband and I are starting to think about TTC, and we know that we will likely have some fertility issues. We decided to go in and do some initial testing – the fertility clinic recommended their basic screening (Vit D, HIV, Hep, and a few others), semen analysis, and carrier testing for both of us. My husband and I are on separate insurance, both Blue Cross Blue Shield, but I also have fertility insurance through work. We were highly encouraged for both of us to go through carrier testing since my husband was in the office anyway for the semen analysis, and were told that “BCBS typically has really good coverage.” Fast forward to today, and I received a bill for $1700 while my husband received two separate statements from BCBS – one for $1100 and one for more than $6000!!!! I am FREAKING out. We would not have done this if the cost had been properly communicated to us (especially since my carrier test was negative – my husbands results didn’t even matter!). Is there anything that we can do to fight this? My husband seems to think it’s fine and we can just push back, but I’m not sure it’ll be that simple…..any advice greatly appreciated. I just feel so stupid.

    1. Is this a bill pending insurance or a bill balance after insurance has paid its share and any writedowns have occured. CHECK YOUR EOB — what does it say?

      1. From what we can tell all amounts are after insurance has kicked in. It is just so impossible to believe that carrier testing is $10k (of which it seems my husband owes $7100) and they would not have walked us through the pricing. The clinic has required webinars about pricing for IVF and this is getting up to that level – and is at IVF level $$ when you combine across the two of us!

        1. What is your OOP max? I have a high deductible plan but I’m pretty sure my OOP max is less than $6k for in network.

          1. OOP max usually won’t apply to anything the insurance doesn’t cover. So if it doesn’t cover the the test, it doesn’t count toward OOP max and you owe the whole thing. If the $6000 is just deductible than copay, then you only owe OOP max, but I’m guessing that’s not what’s going on here.

      2. +1. I don’t have fertility coverage, do have BCBS, and I think I paid, like, $200 out of pocket for this testing?

    2. Read your EOB and see if it’s an actual bill. But I don’t think insurance will cover male carrier testing as a rule, so folks usually do it in order. In general, fertility, pregnancy and neonatal stuff is all wildly underinsured in my experience, so ask as many questions as you can and check your coverage for anything non-urgent up front with the company.

      1. I’ve heard this re male carrier testing too. It’s been years, but I did expanded carrier testing first and had a very small amount that I had to pay out of pocket. My husband didn’t do it because I am not a carrier for anything. OP- you might get stuck paying for your husband’s test. :-/

        1. Also, I would go back to the clinic and make sure they submitted it as being recommended by your doctor. That can sometimes make a difference in the insurance world.

    3. Sorry but I think you’re going to end up paying this. Insurance companies don’t care that someone told you coverage is “typically really good” and you relied on that. In the future find out from the office exactly how they will bill it – what CPT codes – and then call your insurer and ask for a breakdown of your coverage for those CPT codes – what will be the covered amount, coinsurance, deductible etc.

    4. I mean this kindly but this isn’t a big bill in the fertility/maternity world. IVF can cost $20k+. My uncomplicated vaginal delivery was $7,500 (my out of pocket max for the year). And I have “good” health insurance through my state government employer. This is just how it is for a lot of people in the US.

      1. Kindly I disagree, I would expect GIVING BIRTH to have a significantly higher bill than a routine blood draw. As it stands we are being billed essentially the same as your delivery.

        1. Well, my delivery would have been a lot more if not for the out of pocket limit. If you’re doing a lot of medical stuff (even stuff that seems routine like blood draws) and don’t have insurance that covers everything with a very low deductible, you can generally expect to hit your out of pocket limit that year. The idea that this can somehow be “challenged” because you didn’t expect a big bill is absurd.

    5. Ok, some thoughts here.

      First, most importantly, you should reach out to the carrier testing company itself. They typically offer a cash pay price for patients that is a fraction of what they bill to insurance. If it’s truly not covered, look into this option.

      Second, to make you feel somewhat better, carrier testing is going to be a pre-requisite for any form of fertility treatment (at least it is in my area). If that’s a path you are going to go down, you’re going to need it, so this was an inevitable problem.

      Third, insurance. For anything fertility related, you need to be doing one of two things. Option 1: get CPT codes from your doctor for anything that will be billed and ask your insurance how they cover it. Do this in advance. Get the name + agent ID# + your case reference number from the agent you talk to, and take copious notes about what they say they cover. You can also read the medical bulletins published by your insurance company to sort through some of the trickier issues. in advance of those calls. Option 2: your doctors office does this for you and pre-clears the costs of any testing, procedures, etc.

      Fertility coverage is incredibly challenging. I had excellent coverage, but there was still a lot that wasn’t covered – some things required me to have a specific diagnosis, or for me to be a specific age, or I was excluded from certain things based on my diagnosis.

      Fourth, I question your doctors practices here and I would second guess going back to them. The standard of care is that the primary patient (usually the woman planning to carry the child) gets tested first. If they come back negative, their partner does not need carrier screening. Testing you both at once is very unusual (and I’ve had carrier testing done 3 times, don’t ask).

      1. Agree on the carrier testing order of events. My doctor screened me first, and then only screened my husband for the one thing I was a silent carrier for (and he was not, so that was the end of that).

        Also agree on fertility covering being challenging. I got a $6,000 bill because my fertility clinic (of 4 years! we are currently starting the process towards IVF baby #2) submitted something as being treatment vs diagnostic, and I hadn’t gotten prior auth (because it was diagnostic so not needed). Took months to resolve and get corrected.

      2. Thank you for taking the time to share this, I really appreciate it. This is very helpful!

  17. This may be too general to ask – and IDK how late it’s going to post so I’ll repost tomorrow if it’s late – but networking question. Say there’s a company where you had been thinking of reaching out to a contact that you’ve met from a professional org. I’m a lawyer and this is a corporation where there’s a department working in my subject area but not the law part – say it’s a tax law wanting to move to a tax advisory business [not exactly it but close enough]; it’s a type of move that a rare type of lawyer makes to business so it isn’t unheard of but not common and IDK whether this company would consider it. The contact is actually the practice leader so I had wanted to reach out to learn more about what they do/how a person like me could fit either with that company or another. Now I find out that they are hiring, which to me confuses the issue. Now wouldn’t reaching out be more like seeking to apply rather than info gathering? Or would certain questions be considered dumb because – you’re applying here but you don’t know how our industry does x [even without an official application]?

    Feel like I waited too long to reach out though if I’m being honest it was a little bit about waiting out the covid surge, as I am local and this is a friendly person who would say let’s go get lunch and discuss and I knew if I said no I’d be burning a contact. How would you approach this if at all?

  18. I think people, in general, are generally pleased to be contacted by people especially if that person could be a solution to their problem (open position). Networking has been so weird the past couple years that I don’t think they would think anything of it (or if they did, that’s kind of jerky). I would probably reach out and say you enjoyed meeting them at XXX where you talked about YY. You saw that they’re looking for someone to do ZZZ and you’d love if they could spare 20 minutes for coffee to talk about their experience. Make it about them, not about you and act like it’s totally normal and it will be.

    1. +100.

      I love networking and I am very good at it (have only cold applied to one job since law school 14 years ago and I am on job 5). This is good advice. As long as you don’t make it a what are you going to do for me convo, people are almost always happy to answer genuine interest questions.

    2. This is almost exactly how I got my current job. I met a contact at my now company at a professional conference pre-pandemic, connected on LinkedIn and didn’t interact much for a bit. I reached out as I was about to start looking to ask to pick her brain about the company/her team. Turns out they were about to post a job that fit my experience perfectly and I now had an in (and she got a referral bonus and the company got a qualified candidate!). As long as you’re polite and don’t demand this person speak with you ASAP for hours on end you’re fine.

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