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Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
I think these are beautiful and I am one of the lucky sizes, but I can’t buy presents for myself so close to Christmas.
Hmm, so would you ladies consider these office shoes or non-work shoes? I feel like the super high heel puts these in the non-work category.
Even though they’re high, I would be comfortable wearing them to work because of the thickness of the heel.
Lawyer in a business casual BigLaw office here and I’d say these are perfectly office appropriate. 3.5 inches is almost standard for the women in my office to wear (including the managing partner, who can rock some mean Louboutins) and because the heel is chunkier, it doesn’t give off a sexy, stiletto vibe. If I weren’t pregnant and tottering around in my more sedate heels (and worried about my feet growing…), I would seriously consider buying these.
I didn’t realize they were 3.5 inches (they look more like 4.5 in the photo – maybe it’s a photo of a size 5 shoe or something).
I would wear these to work and it’s funny how everything is relative, because I looked at the picture thinking they weren’t very high, but then my heels are generally sky-high because I’m short!
I love the color combo as well although I prefer higher, thinner heels.
Just a PSA, since people have been talking about Sorels so much lately. There’s a Sorel boutique on ruelala.com today (also, a Cole Haan boutique – in which the shoes I’m wearing today for the 3rd time are on sale for about 60% off).
Nice! I love my Sorels. They make winter so much more bearable. You can also snag them on J. Crew with one of their 20% off coupons from time to time.
The Sorel thread last week was a bad influence. I ordered a pair of Cate the Greats and received shipping confirmation this morning. I am so excited about them, I have to stop myself from tracking the package every hour.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
Just found out I have to go in for a biopsy on Thursday (same day as my first exam). I have multiple nodules (part cystic, part liquid) on my thyroid. Any advice.
I feel weird that I comment on so many medical posts – maybe it’s because I’m an old-timer (46) and have had all manner of ailments.
Anyway, I’ve had a needle biopsy of my thyroid. I had nodules that weren’t clearly all liquid on ultrasound, so they wanted to make sure. In biopsy they all turned out to be liquid, so I knew before I went home that everything was likely OK. The lab results showed that they were consistent with Hashimoto’s, the most common form of thyroid disease.
I have been hypothyroid since the age of 28.
A friend had an “unclear” needle biopsy and then had to have surgery to have part of her thyroid removed. It was also OK after all testing, though she now has a small scar on her neck.
The needle procedure itself was really weird but not excruciatingly painful. I think it’s better to just not think about it.
I walked home from the hospital afterwards – about 5 city blocks.
Ugh. So sorry you’re dealing with this. I had a thyroid biopsy several years ago and my secretary had one 2 weeks ago. It’s not pleasant but it’s usually over pretty quickly and you won’t have much lingering marks, discomfort, etc. I laughed that afterwards, I looked like I went on a date with a vampire. ;-) Pack a light scarf to wear for the rest of the day. The nasty part is that many docs will not use anesthesia. Mine did not. Again, it’s not awful but it’s something to be prepared for, and discuss if it will really bother you.
Do you have any thyroid problems, particularly hypothyroidism? I do, and I frequently get nodules. The ones which were biopsied were ones that stuck around for a while and grew, though they did eventually disappear.
If you have any questions or want to discuss more, feel free to email (firstname.lastname@example.org).
Not really advice. Just sending general good wishes your way.
I have been dealing with thyroid issues for a while now, so I know that they aren’t fun (currently monitoring the nodules on my thyroid that are still too small to biopsy and have been on thyroid meds for a couple of years now for hypothyroidism). I know that it can be scary, but everyone (from my endocrinologist to friends who have been there) says the same thing: most thyroid nodules are benign or can be treated very easily.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
Thanks for the advice. GovtMom, if my freaking out gets any worse, I may take you up on your contact offer. Thank you.
I had a thyroid cyst one time. It was about the size of a walnut on my throat. Yuck.
They did a biopsy and eventually drained it with a needle, using ultrasound for guidance.
It was inconvenient, but no problems afterward. Good luck! Biopsies are scary.
I have a thyroid nodule that has been stable for the last 18 years or so. My doctor checks it each visit, but says I don’t need to worry about it as long as it doesn’t grow or change. I have never been biopsied however. Hope things work out for you!
Lovely shoes. Thank goodness my feet are the size of small boats. I am still feeling guilty over my Cyber Monday gifts to myself. I am going to need to start leaving my credit card at home because I think that I may be addicted to sales. I guess that is better than booze, but lately there seems to be an amazing deal that I just can’t pass up every other day.
I am not at all tempted by full price items, but if there is a sale, lookout.
Welcome to the club. I am usually pretty frugal, but I am actually considering the ol’ “freeze your credit card” trick because I’ve been on about a two month sale bender.
I memorized my credit card number! AND the expiration date and little three-number code! I have no defenses against myself!
You could ask your credit card company to reissue your card with different numbers and close out the old card. Everything gets transferred over.
Alanna of Trebond
Haha, I did this recently, and unfortunately, half the numbers are the same…
I have the same problem. Maybe we need a Corporette “Step Away From the Bargain” support group.
I need to start reminding myself that it’s not really a ‘deal’ if I don’t need it in the first place!
This. Very hard to pass up some of these amazing deals lately. I think I may need to make a list of “needs” and force myself to stay on track.
I do this, and it helps. The thought process is about whether something is on the list (and if so, its rank of priority) rather than beginning when I see a particular item. Impulse buys have to be very, very inexpensive–otherwise, it’s pretty easy for me to just remind myself “but I don’t need a ______ right now” when tempted.
Also–and some may find this really weird–I sometimes make a list of things I DON’T need! I just go through, in my mind, all the things I own that are in great shape or of which I have plenty. It’s always much longer than the shopping list, of course, and it helps me remember what I have and how I’ve spent my money. It also, again, preempts my buying the random things that catch my eye but aren’t necessary. If something is on the un-shopping list, then I can’t even consider it.
I have the same issue. 50% off something I didn’t need is not really saving anything!
I am so glad that I am not alone. For once maybe having a brain like a sieve will be useful, no danger of memorizing a credit card number here!
I like the idea of making lists of “needs” and “don’t needs.” I could use it as an opportunity to clean out my closet. It is not big to begin with (1920s era house) and I have totally run out of room to the point that I think one more hanger might push things over the edge and either the closet or my husband will explode. Poor baby has been relegated to the clichéd 2 inches of closet space.
Happy to hear I am not the only one. I keep telling myself that someone has to stimulate the economy, but I’m ready for somebody else to take a turn.
Same. Unfortunately I have my credit card # memorized, so freezing it won’t help!
Does anyone have tips for how to spin a self-evaluation? My review is coming up soon and I will need to document my development during the year.
The main issue from last year: my work is not getting billed out, and my collections were low. They cut my salary (ouch) and asked me to work on it for this year. However, there is only so much I can do. I do bill out my own clients (not many!) promptly. But I work with a partner who only sends bills out every few months. For one of his more significant matters, there is over $1M (!!) in unbilled time. I have asked him multiple times about billing and whether I can help him, and also whether it is possible to send out bills so the clients pay before year-end. But as far as I can tell, he has not changed his billing practices over the year.
How would you suggest that I spin this to the powers that be? My hours are okay (not super great) but I am worried that they will once again bring up my low collections.
You mentioned this was a self-evaluation. For the “self” part, I would focus on tangible successes you have had, such as projects you have completed, skills you have acquired or demonstrated, client relationships you have developed. Basically, show them that you are a valuable asset and that you are developing professionally.
Assuming the low collection will come up, I would ask for help finding a solution. Perhaps the person evaluating you or another partner in the firm can brainstorm other partners to work with and/or ways to obtain more clients. There are things outside your control, but be proactive about asking for help in getting in a better position instead of agreeing to “work on it” this year.
agree with Anonymous. The partner’s lack of billing skills is not your problem. Do not let it get put on you. If it comes up, advise of all you have done to try to help resolve the issue but note that the bottom line is that he is the partner and you are the associate, and you cannot force him to send out bills. That should be the managing partner or committee’s responsibility.
It seems to me that you are being taken advantage of here-you are working but your work is not getting billed, resulting in a lower salary for you. Is it possible to ask to work for another partner, or ask that your salary be based on the hours you have worked, not what has been collected? Is it even possible to speak to the partner and openly tell him that not billing out your hours is affecting your salary and your position in the firm?
Good luck. I worked only a few years for a firm that did billable work (as opposed to contingency), but I know the whims of partners can be difficult.
why isn’t the firm’s billing committee all over this partner?
Because we’ve all been there:
animalstalkinginallcaps DOT tumblr DOT com/post/13509048764/i-bought-this-hydrating-b5-replenishing-gel-with
(this tumblr is getting me through this week)
Thank you for this. Thank you so much. That is all.
That lizard is adorable. I want to hug it.
OMG. Thank you. (But I want the last 20 minutes of my life back…)
Loud Chomping BF
Longtime lurker/intermittent poster.
This seems like a silly question but do you ladies have any advice on what to do with a BF who chews/eats/smacks very loudly? I’ve been dating said BF for only a few months (although we’ve known each other for several years and recently re-connected) and it’s starting to drive me insane. Other than this everything is great (he’s caring, sweet, funny, etc). Is this a small issue I should overlook? How can I (politely) address the issue?
My instinct would be to try and quash your distaste until such time when your relationship goes a bit longer and you feel more comfortable bringing it up. (My fiance says that I eat too loudly, and it’s both funny and well-taken. But it wouldn’t have been so funny in month #3.)
The other thing you could do, if you really feel the need to address it, is to wait until a third party does it in the presence of both of you, and then later comment to your BF on how it bothers you. And maybe he’ll get the hint.
I’m sure there are graceful ways to bring it up more directly but I’m not coming up with any. Maybe others will.
I don’t think that would work. People who do it don’t realize they do it, so they wouldn’t get the hint.
I’d tease him about it in a mostly-joking-but-kind-of-serious way. Like I’d do it right back at him one day while he was chewing or something. But I tend to have very back-and-forth, teasing type relationships with guys, and that might not work as well if that’s not your personality. I’d be very careful to know-when-to-stop, because there’s definitely a point where it just gets mean, even though you don’t intend it that way.
It’ll probably make him self conscious but (IMO) take some of the sting out of literally sitting him down and being like “So you smack your lips and it really bothers me.” Then he really will feel awkward and probably not know what to say. In a joking/teasing situation, he can laugh it off but he’ll probably be a little self conscious and aware of it from then on.
Does he have sinus or allergy issues? I know when I have a cold and can’t breathe through my nose, I can tend to snarf my food a bit. Maybe you can approach it from a health angle.
My husband sometimes chews with this mouth open, and (oh, I can barely even write it) also talks with his mouth full. I do not say something every time it happens, but when it’s really grating on my nerves I look at him lovingly and say something to the effect of, “Sweetheart, I love you so much, but you’re chewing with your mouth open right now and it’s starting to drive me to the looney bin. Can you try your best to chew with your mouth shut?”
This works pretty well at 6 years into the relationship. I think I would wait until you’ve developed a pretty good trusting relationship before saying anything. He probably has absolutely no idea that he’s even doing it.
Oh man, my husband does this too and it drives me up.the.wall. We’ve been married over 5 years and I’ve never said anything, but I almost feel like it’s getting worse. My reaction is usually to be extra-mannerly myself. Like if he asks me a question and my mouth is full, I chew slowly for awhile, and then said, “Oh, excuse me, my mouth was full.” This has not worked, obviously. I’d love to tell him but I feel like it will hurt his feelings…i know it would hurt mine if he told me the same. Maybe I should just bite the bullet.
You guys are so much nicer than I am. I hate the sound of really crunchy foods, and sometimes when my husband is loudly munching away on some chips beside me, I loudly exclaim, “OHMYGOD YOU HAVE TO STOP CRUNCHING NEXT TO ME OR I WILL FREAK OUT!”
You could do what I do when my 5 year old talks with his mouth full. I say to him, “Gee, I really can’t understand you when you talk with your mouth full. Why don’t you finish chewing and then say what you want to say?” If you never understand him when he talks with his mouth full, he might change his behavior. It’s probably a habit more than anything else.
Dump him. I had a boyfriend who could never use proper table manners. When I teased him about it, or tried to address it, he would smile and nod and use his manners for a few days.
He was passive aggressive. Not using proper table manners morphed into not picking up after himself, which morphed into not helping around the house, which morphed into not showering or shaving.
I realized he really didn’t respect me when he left his wet, dirty towel on my side of the bed right before bedtime.
Get away now. Any guy who doesn’t use his table manners around you does not respect you.
Of course, you might address this with him like the other poster recommended and he might change. If that’s the case, he’s a true keeper.
I mean, its up to you whether to dump him or not, but I think the sign of a successful relationship is not whether there are problems (every relationship has problems!) but how they are addressed/resolved. If you give him a chance to correct it, you’ll learn so much about him and about the relationship.
Then again, if it really makes you cringe every time he does it, maybe you should dump him. He doesn’t deserve that. Everyone has gross habits and is disgusted by certain other gross habits. Ideally in a relationship the gross habits of Partner 1 are not the same habits that disgust Partner 2, and vice versa.
That’s all well and good, and yet sometimes you just don’t know until years later what will gross you out.
My guy is a gem and we’ve been together for many years. But he didn’t have OLD MAN EAR HAIRS when we started.
My guy asked for an ear-hair trimmer for a gift. Put it in his stocking for Christmas (or as a hanukkah gift).
I think you might just have to try to get used to it. It seems like that’s something people get really sensitive about. Or, you can take a move from college-aged me and say something like “my mother would have freaked out if I did that at the table” then listen to a 15 minute speach about how table manners are how middle class people like me oppress working class people like him on the orders of our secret Upperclass Overlords. I wouldn’t recommend it, though, nor would I recommend dating that guy, actually.
<3 to Jas. I don't recommend dating that guy either. He and his Teva sandals can leave right now!
Is it a cultural thing? My husband is Asian and chews with his mouth open unless I remind him to SHUT IT and then suddenly I’m some sort of colonial oppressor or something because that’s not an Asian manner and who am I to impose my values on his culture blah blah blah. We seldom eat together anymore.
My boyfriend was Filipino. But I wouldn’t say it’s cultural because half his family and friends had perfect table manners. The other half…gross. My Filipino co-workers have lovely table manners too. Plus, I’ve dated white guys (haven’t dated a Black man yet) who also have absolutely horrible table manners. I had to teach one how to hold his fork.
I’ve noticed that it’s mostly guys who have a bad relationship with their mothers who have table manners issues.
Loud Chomping BF
OP here…thanks for the recommendations! Re: cultural/mommy issues – it seems a little extreme to dump him. FWIW he’s American, no “mommy issues,” very cleanly in every other way and has no sinus problems which would attribute to or cause the “chomping.” I think it’s just lack of awareness. Our relationship, while new, is getting pretty serious pretty fast so I think I might have to bite the bullet and just say something…
Say something. Just be prepared if he tells you about something you do that annoys him.
Yeah. I think some of these reactions are pretty extreme.
I’d say, “Hey, baby, could you chew with your mouth closed?”
I doubt he realizes he does it, or that it bothers anyone. I wouldn’t depend on him to take a hint like ML suggested.
I am so distressed that I can’t find this exact quote, because it’s one of my favorites. I think it’s Nora Ephron, and she basically says, “If you can make it through listening to him chew his breakfast on Sunday morning, you can make it through anything.”
Gawd. Change that quote to “If you can make it through listening to him chomp his gum EVERY SINGLE TIME you ride in the car together, you can make it through anything” and it describes my marriage perfectly.
I had no idea so many people had the same problem! I’ve been feeling like the world’s most horrible person for wanting my husband to change his table manners.
How about this quote from my mother, “I don’t care how much you love him, sometimes the way he eats his cereal will just piss you off”.
Lilly, that’s priceless!
Same here. I just mostly overlook this because otherwise, he’s the most wonderful, caring, polite human being. Plus it’s not *very* loud and he just doesn’t realize it (when he does, he tries to stop). I know I too have peculiarities he’s not fond of, so …
But when I’m tired or nervous, any noise will just drive me up the wall, so I put some quiet music in the background, it’s usually enough to make the noise less noticable. Or I just can’t help and stop eating to stare at him !
Co-workers that munch noisily in the office is a whole another story. I once worked with one who took an eternity to chew each mouthful and clucked his tongue the whole time. After 5 minutes, I was ready to throw him and his bagel through the windows.
Speaking as a man here, I notice that you want to “politely” address the issue. Just tell him he’s disgusting when he eats. That is how one man would tell another man he’s doing something disgusting. (I presume you’ve tried the polite route.)
I also cannot help but wonder if something deeper is going on here. Is he intentionally grossing you out or intentionally disrespecting you? Might be a symptom of something else that’s worrying you. For example, I dated–and ended up marrying–an otherwise seemingly delightful young lady who was afraid to touch meat or fish. What an odd quirk, I thought. Turned out she was anorexic, then bulimic…etc. etc…. Silly me.
OMG. I have a major pet peeve with people who chew with their mouths open, smack loudly, etc. Thought it was just me; am feeling more normal after reading this thread. ;-)
Honestly, I would say something to him and the sooner, the better. If it’s driving you insane now, waiting 6 months or a year will likely make you more crazy about it, and he will feel more blind-sided when you DO say something. Next meal he does it, just gently ask him to close his mouth when he chews. That should cut down the noise a lot.
As for whether to dump him on this … it does seem small, but these small things build up over time. IMO, the dumping decision should be based on his reaction. You say something once, see how he responds. If he’s amenable to changing his ways, you may need to remind him here and there. But if he reacts badly, then that’s something to think about.
BTW — I am teaching my kiddos to eat with their mouths closed. I swear, it’s a dying skill.
Anyone work in the Bronx, near the courthouses? Where do you live? What is the commute like?
I go up occasionally for the Supreme Court (I have no idea where other courthouses are, I assume they’re all in that same area by Yankee Stadium). I live in Long Island City, and if I’m coming from my apartment, it only takes like 30 minutes to get to Bronx Supreme, and then 45 to get from the courthouse to my office in the financial district. Basically, you want to live near the express train (I can’t remember if it’s the 4 or 5 or both, but whichever one it is) for an easier commute.
I work (and live) in the Bronx, but not near the Courthouses. I live in the Pelham Gardens area of the Northeast Bronx, and when I have to go to Bronx Supreme Court, it takes between 30-45 minutes on 2 buses, depending on traffic. It would be possible to cut that down if I took the B or D train down the Grand Concourse, instead of the bus, but I prefer the bus.
TAH – how do you like your neighborhood?
I like it, it’s very “neighborhoody” for lack of a better word. I’ve lived in various parts of the neighborhood since I was 13. It’s almost all multi-family houses, with single family homes as you get closer to Pelham Parkway (I walk past the famous Pelham Parkway Christmas house very morning.) I’m currently in an apartment in a multi-family home, with my very attentive landlord in the semi-attached house next door.
My only complaints would be the distance to the subway (you have to take a bus, or take a very long walk), and the lack of grocery shopping options for those without a car (like me.) The grocery shopping is getting better (an Aldi opens tomorrow) and there’s an express bus to Manhattan that runs down Eastchester Road if you want to avoid the subway. If you have a car, most people park on the street, and the Fairway in Pelham Manor is about 3 miles away.
The neighborhood was featured in the Living In column of the NY Times real estate section a few months ago. Here’s the link:
Thanks, I know exactly what you mean about “neighborhoodiness.” I live in a very similar place in another borough. Maybe we’ll end up neighbors!
Neither live nor work there, but from friends’ experiences can report that your commute from Manhattan will be fine if you can easily get to the 4/5 train.
The 5 train does not run anywhere near the Bronx courts, as it runs up the opposite side of the Bronx. You’d want to be near the 4 or the B/D.
Am I the only one who really doesn’t like purple? Doesn’t matter what the item is (including today’s shoes, yesterday’s purse, any piece of clothing, furniture, bath linen), I just don’t like purple. And the more muted/dark it gets, the more I dislike. Perhaps my dislike is due to my lifetime, undying loyalty to pink.
Purple rules. And purple reigns.
I am not a fan of pink at all. Purples, I love.
It’s okay, I like purple enough for both of us!
Me too! The other day my assistant saw me using a purple pen (I bought it so that I’d have something more “fun” to mark up documents that are just going to her) while wearing a purple tee shirt and purple patterned cardi, and commented that purple is my “signature color.” Now I’m a little self-conscious that I wear it too much! (Though she swore that she meant it as a compliment and that it looks nice on me.)
In college I worked in a science lab and we had one postdoc that I always had to fight for the purple test tube thingies (yea, there’s a technical name, I’ve forgotten). Everything she owned was purple, including her amethyst engagement ring (which was quite lovely, for those “can I have something other than a diamond” engagement ring threads).
I work with someone like that (a secretary whose entire cubicle looks like Purple just threw up on it) and it has turned me away a little from my formerly favorite color.
Oooo, amethyst engagement ring! Now I want to go back in time and convince myself 11 years ago to request one!
I wonder if I could ever manage an amethyst aniversary ring (those third rings that have little side jewels to go around your original diamond) with amethyst? Hmmmm.
Purple is my favorite color too and my birthstone and I have a three-stone right-hand ring with a large-ish amethyst and diamonds. As Hel-lo says, it goes with everything.
Well I don’t know about anyone else in the world, but I DO know that KAT loves purple. Hence its frequent appearance on this blog.
I also feel confident that you are not alone in not liking purple, as the more you read this blog, the more I learn that there are people for every taste in this world.
I like both purple and pink. So there’s that.
Kat loves purple because it goes with everything. I agree that it does. I’m wearing purple today.
Not using a purple pen, though. That’s a little extreme.
I am relieved that my purple aversion isn’t causing purple to feel discriminated against. As long as you guys stick with purple, maybe all pink clothing will go on mega sale due to lack of demand and I can cheaply look like a chic pink panther.
I hate purple as well.
I like purple, but I that way about orange.
Me too. Orange is an awful, evil color.
(Did I mention that I’m a redhead? There are at least a few shades of red and yellow I can work with, but orange is right out.)
I love orange on other people, but my cool toned skin just cannot take it. I don’t own a single orange piece of clothing. I’ve dabbled into the corals because that’s the closest my skin can take, but it’s still not my best.
Purple, on the other hand, is heavenly.
I don’t think there is any single color that I hate all the time, no matter who is wearing it.
I’m that way about red. It’s a good color for me, but I can’t stand wearing it even though I’m all about wearing bright colors.
I feel exactly like that about orange.
I really like a dose of purple here and there (eggplant blouse, plum shoe, etc), but those women who are all OMFG PURPLE ALL THE TIME NOW weird me out. Maybe it’s because my insane freshman year roommate had purple everything (sheets, towel, pillows, closet full of acrylic purple sweaters in all shades).
Is it too soon for a “holiday gift” threadjack?
Need ideas for holiday gifts for the following (I want to give each of these people something individually, as opposed to going in on a group gift):
– direct supervising attorney who has taught me more in 4 months than I’ve learned in my last 3 years of practice (male)
– old secretary (who kicks a$$ and still comes through when my new secretary is out of town/ unavailable/ etc – she’s prolly in her early 40s if that makes a gift giving difference – dunno if it does)
– new secretary (who also kicks a$$ and is super sweet – prolly in her mid to late 20s if that makes a gift giving difference – dunno if it does)
– kick a$$ paralegal I adore who tells me to e-mail her work directly as opposed to sending my requests to the general pool
One of the coasts, BigLaw. Thoughts? Thanks!
For each of the three subordinates, I’d say a gift card or cash.
For the supervising attorney, I’d think long and hard about whether a gift is appropriate (do others in your office do it?) I think I nice note might be better. But if you do a gift, I think a nice bottle of wine or scotch if he’s a drinker.
On the west coast, cash is king. Maybe $50 for each secretary and $100 for the paralegal.
For the supervising attorney, I would suggest a Christmas card. Maybe a $20 bottle of wine if you feel really strongly. As I get more senior, the more awkward I feel getting gifts from subordinates.
I think a nice thing to do is invite him out to lunch just to show that you appreciate the time he’s spent training you. As a mentor, I am always glad to be asked to lunch because I don’t want to be hated by my mentees. He’ll probably pay (or charge it to the firm) because it is expected that the more senior person pays.
Any suggestions on what to get older, male attorneys? These two are huge wine connoisseurs, so I wouldn’t want to get them wine, because it probably wouldn’t be up to their standards.
Also, what types of small tokens of appreciation do you get for business contacts?
Things they can bring home and share (cookies, candy, etc.)
Coffee (pound of coffee beans from somewhere nice).
I don’t have any suggestions, but is your firm hiring? Because you’re making it sound fantastic. :)
Thanks all. I was thinking along the lines of alcohol for the mentor (big wine drinker). The cash and gift card ideas are helpful as well. Thanks again!
Unrelated to these shoes…..I saw someone wearing those heels with the red soles. Hoo-hah. Sexy! Although that may have been the fish nets and mini skirt she was wearing…..
hello there sir.
A friend of mine painted her soles red with auto-paint. Ever since then I’ve been tempted to try it.
Can we also have a thread to bounce around gift ideas for husbands/SOs who always go and buy whatever they want? So far on my list is some new button downs from Brooks Brothers. Yeah. I know.
So what genius gifts are you all getting for the long-term special man in your life? Mine is an attorney. I need to borrow your inspiration.
I just bought my husband (who enjoys running) a Garmin GPS running watch – it can track mileage, etc. Last year I bought him a new digital camera with a waterproof case (we were going on a scuba trip and I knew he’d want to take underwater photos). This year we might keep it a little light, since we’re paying off debts and have a few financial goals we want to meet.
The worst gift I ever gave him (at least, in my opinion), was during my first semester 1L year when I had zero time to put any thought into it, and wound up buying him a book and a Sunbeam Hot Shot (a device that can boil water for a cup of tea in 1 minute). Although, he did love the book, and we still use the Hot Shot.
Oooh, this thread is totally working. I could get him a dive watch or an underwater camera. He’s a new scuba diver.
Canon has a lot of underwater cases that pair up with different models of their digital point-and-shoots. I’m not sure about other brands, but type in “canon digital camera underwater case” into Amazon, you’ll see a bunch!
I love my Hot Shot! You just reminded me that I need to get it out for quick oatmeal on cold winter mornings ;)
i have a hot shot that i inherited from my parents at some point – it’s at least 20 or 25 years old and i use it constantly. it survived an incident i clearly recall from sometime in the late 80’s when my little brother decided he’d like to see what warm root beer was like. i say that was a great gift.
Hats. People aren’t wearing enough of them. I’ve had great luck with Goorin Brothers.
This is why I was asking about Tilley hats yesterday. My boyfriend likes to golf, and we both hike, and all he has are these baseball caps that do no good whatsoever. So I am thinking about a Tilley hat and one of those tiny iPod Nanos that he can take to the gym.
FWIW, my friend and her husband both have Tilley hats, and love them.
I like a Panama for golfing. Or a snap-brim… I’m just not a fan of Tilley hats at all, but plenty of people aren’t fans of stingy-brimmed fedoras either, and those are my fave.
I’m getting my boyfriend the Kinect for his Xbox and a few games, as we like to play video games together and the physical aspect of it would probably be good for both of us.
I’m also framing his favorite photo of us in a nice frame for his home office and countering the cheese factor of the framed photo with some new lingerie.
Yeah, my husband and I are getting Xbox for ourself (and Kinect for the kids) this Christmas so we can play… SKYRIM!!
I may not be around much after the holidays : )
Awesome. I’m hooked on wii, but covet Kinect.
Some of my most successful gifts have been rather random – i.e., things the guy who always buys everything he needs/wants doesn’t even realize he needs/wants. My ex was the hardest to shop for and he LOVED a shower radio/cd player thingie that I got him (literally last minute b/c I was shopping on 12/24 and it was next to the cash register). Now that we are not together, I realize I even want one for my shower sometime.
My current SO was beyond thrilled with these madras lounge pants from Brooks Brothers last holiday. They have a similar pair on sale now w/matching robe. They’re a bit crazy looking but perfect for wearing indoors where no one will see you be such a random dandy. He wears his around the house almost constantly & says they make him feel like Holden Caulfield.
Sorry if the ideas are too specific to the men in my life. If you’re getting shirts, maybe add a fun pair of cufflinks? BB has nice ones, Tokens & Coins have some fun ones, too.
Gift idea: whiskey stones. You can get em on Etsy or at Uncommon Goods — great inexpensive gift or add on for any guy who’s a drinker.
My husband and I bought a splurge piece of furniture for the house last month and agreed to just do small “stocking stuffer” gifts this year. Anyone looking for something on the very low end of the price spectrum, read on…
I was totally stumped until last night I happened upon a guitar tshirt that you can play. For real. It has amazing reviews on Amazon and is seriously cheap (with a lot of them saying “best gift I ever got my boyfriend” or “make sure you buy this for every adult male in the household if you buy it for your kid because otherwise your kid will never get to play with it”). It’s made by ThinkGeek, and comes in both adult and children’s sizes.
that’s amazing. I’m seriously considering buying that for my husband.
thank you for providing me with my contribution to my family’s yankee swap this year.
Thank you. Just ordered this for my uncle. He’s impossible to shop for and complains about gifts (charming!), but he does play guitar.
UGG fleece lined driving mocs. Sounds awful, but they look like plain old nice leather driving mocs and then TADAHHH you are secretly wearing slippers. My BF lives in them from November to March.
Apropos of nothing, today in federal court (Chicago) I saw someone I vaguely know, a mid-level associate from a prestigious biglaw firm, and I could see an inch-plus of control top and the lining hanging out from what I can only assume was VERY short skirt, since I was too modest to look any higher up her leg. The rest of the outfit was super conservative— tweed jacket, high-neck top, pearls. But I couldn’t stop wondering why on earth she didn’t put her coat on her lap or at least try to pull the skirt down enough to cover her upper thighs. There are all kinds of arguments to make about what’s appropriate, but even though we might debate whether a skirt or pants is more formal, I hope that we all agree that at least one of the two should be worn at all times. And it doesn’t count as “skirt” if it doesn’t reach the bottom of the control top portion of the hose.
I hope it was just a aberration, but it was a bad one.
I saw the same thing one day as I was going up the elevator in my building! She was going to a big investment bank at the top of my building. I just felt really embarrassed for her, because surely (SURELY!) it was a mistake that morning.
Whoa. Wow. Just wow.
I’m hoping it was an aberration as well. Some Spanx-style tights have really long control top areas. I have a pair of Assets where the control top will stop a few inches above the knee if I don’t really work to pull it up, which can cause some unfortunate mishaps when I sit down. I’ve never had that issue with any other pair of control tops, so we can just *hope* this was the case and she was not wearing a micro mini to court!
My husband and I spoil each other for Christmas. I got him an IPhone 4S, a lightweight Patagonia jacket and a leather watch case. These are all things he really wanted and he is spending a comparable amount on me. He’s in his late twenties and works in finance.
This question reminded me of a commercial that has been on TV lately where a woman surprises her husband or boyfriend with a gift- a new Lexus. They are going down in an elevator and the Lexus theme music starts playing. Has anyone else seen that commercial and laughed at it?
This was in reply to meme.
We do the same. While I like to shop for clothes, we’re pretty frugal about spending on electronics and “toys” during the year. My husband is getting an iPad and I’ve hinted that I would like a nice camera. I understand the idea that it’s “our” money and it’s not as much a “gift” as an excuse to spend, but since we’re pretty good most of the year, it’s nice to have the excuse to get the fun stuff at the holidays. It also helps that my husband gets a pretty sizeable amount of his salary in his bonus, so we’re always pretty flush around this time.
I have seen that commercial … and I keep wondering if they re-use the same gigantic red bow every year. And share it with other car companies.
We’ve been making fun of those commercials. The other one we laugh at is where a lady gets a music box that starts playing that theme song. The more realistic reaction would be something along the lines of, “Oh, thanks for the nice music box. What is that bizarre song it plays?”
Those commercials get me every year. How much money do you have to have that you can buy a car without checking with your husband/wife first? Though my absolute favorites are the ones where they are really young or are buying the Lexus for their teenager. (That elevator one in particular, those people look about 24.)
The one the confuses the heck out of me is where the woman calls a cell phone, which has been boxed, then the guy opens the box, pulls out the cell phone, which has a picture of a car on it, and then they go down to the front door where the actual car is.
Has anyone seen that Audi commercial with the Vermeer paintings? And one couple doesn’t know who Vermeer is, and the other couple acts like a couple of snootie toots about it? Yeah, I hate that commercial. I would totally be friends with the first couple and would avoid the second couple like the plague.
Anyone else have that same feeling?
I haven’t seen that one, but I will join in your assessment because the second couple sounds obnoxious and because I trust your judgment on these matters, as I agree with your taste as showcased in the comments generally.
Not to be snarky but there not acting snootie they are shocked because they are so valuable.. that’s the point of the commercial…
Yeah, I’m with you…I thought the clueless couple was hilarious.
My thought was who sees Vermeers in a presumably not filthy rich friend’s house and doesn’t assume they’re replicas. Baffling.
Hi ‘Rettes! I BADLY need a few new jackets for work. A great saleswoman recently “diagnosed” my ideal jacket as short (hip length) with a nipped-in waist. Anyone have suggestions?
I just bought an Elie Tahari jacket that would fit that description. http://www.elietahari.com/womens-designer-clothing/womens-business-suits-and-jackets/anetta-jacket/E802U101,default,pd.html?dwvar_E802U101_color=GRJ&start=13&cgid=sale-women-jackets&PathToProduct=sale-women-jackets
Not exactly an every day jacket, though, because it’s pretty unique.
Assuming that you’re looking for something more traditional, what about the jcrew schoolboy blazers? or for suiting the jcrew Aubrey? No experience with these personally, but they seem to fit your description.
fly a way
There are a few shorter, but not cropped, jackets at Black/White. One was featured a short while back in the TPS. I got the grey flannel and a black poly, both with “mandarin” collars. Their white with black checks is nice, in a big windowpane sort of way. I also like the Kate jacket fit at Talbots, but I am a true hourglass (very).
This is probs way too late in the day for a thread jack, but I’m on the westcoast and at my wits end. I’m a junior associate at a big law firm and lately (the last couple months) it has been harder and harder for me to balance my work load. Specifically, how do you all handle it when someone comes to you with a project, and 10 minutes later some other big partner comes to you with a project, and you are already working on 5 other projects, etc.? I have tried saying, “well, I”m actually pretty slammed, I have this and this to do…and they usually say, “Gotcha. This shouldn’t take long. I just need you to research and write a brief on an opposition class certification”- or whatever. In the past 4 hours alone, I got handed at least 30 hours of work from three different people, all needs to get done in the next two days, and I’m already working on projects that will keep me fully occupied (12 hours a day) all week. I feel like my head is going to explode. I feel like since each project is “only” 6-7 hours, people think it’s no big deal to give me a short deadline, but when you’re juggling 11 of those simultaneously, your life becomes impossible. Advice?? TIA!
there right now.
First, I’d like to sympathize. 2nd year. I am in the exact same position right now. I have been “told” that it means that people like your work. A lot. So. Kudos to you. Problem of course is that you need to still do that level of work and that’s hard to do when you are about to collapse from exhaustion and need to put eye drops in your eyes every 5 min because you haven’t slept in four days. The best advice I have gotten? “Prioritize.” Not EVERYONE is going to get their stuff done right away. Prioritize. First, is there something that has a drop dead deadline? i.e. a filing deadline? That goes first. Next, there has to be a partner whose stuff is more important to get done. Either because it’s a direct supervising partner, or it’s someone you care about keeping in your camp. Do theirs next. Next, is there a project you think you can squeak out when you are semi-conscious? Fill that one into time where you are exhausted but can still crank out something. Then look at the rest of the pile. What’s left? Line ’em up and shoot ’em down. One by one. Keep the partners/associates apprised of your progress via email. Let them know when they can expect their work back. Keep the communication lines open (aka CYA) and keep the fingers typing.
You can do it.
While I don’t have much advice, I’m still at work on the East Coast because I have a million and one things due this week and still taking new clients/assignments as well as there is just no one else to help with the work right now. We are hiring though, so I see a light at the end of my tunnel. I view my work life as constant triage but this week all my cases seem to be level 1 trauma, top priority. They can’t all get my immediate attention! Good luck!
You have to say “I cannot meet that deadline because of the other deadlines I have to meet. Will [day that you can realistically get it done] at x o’clock work for you?” I know you’re hesitant to disappoint people, but you can’t be wishy washy and you have to clearly communicate your availability. Otherwise, they’ll be disappointed by missed deadlines and rushed/sloppy work.
I think meme’s approach is the best. Say something like “I have three other pressing deadlines at the moment, but I can get this project back to you in 72 hours.” If the person needs it much earlier, at least then s/he can look for someone else to do the work. I assume that in a biglaw firm there are plenty of other associates who may have time to do the project.
Hey, thanks all for your support and advice. I totally agree with the “prioritize” advice, and the communication. After reading these comments I responded to an email last night saying, “I’ll be able to start on this likely Thursday afternoon.” The person seemed okay with that, so it bought me some breathing room. I think part of the problem is that, despite the fact that we are a big law firm, in my practice area, we just don’t have enought juniors (conservative hiring), plus two juniors just quite within a week of each other…dumping their work on the rest of us. My biggest problem seems to be saying no to new work. I”ve made it a goal that I cannot take a new case or project until at least mid-January, and I’m going to stick to it. As Meme said, the last thing I want to do is turn in sloppy work or miss deadlines.
Thanks again. Sometimes all you really want is someone who knows what you’re going through. You guys are awesome. :)
One piece of advice I got as a junior associate many years ago: when multiple partners are demanding your time, make THEM hash out who’s going to get you. E.g., “I am now doing X project for Jane that will likely take Y hours. Bob, I can’t get to your Z project until tomorrow afternoon. If you need it sooner, could you please coordinate with Jane? I am happy to prioritize as you two see fit.”
Trying to take advantage of the last few hours of 50% at the loft and the darn website is down for maintenance. Blessing in disguise?
Anon Anon Anon
I just bought a new pair of purple pumps this week…..what do all of you