This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
The last time I made a purchase from The Container Store, I was poking around for something to get to free shipping, and came up with these drawer organizing trays. I'm really happy with them, though, and wish I'd gotten more!
There are a few different colors — I got teal, but there's also mint, blush, aqua, and white. They're lightweight, bright, and happy, and a definite upgrade from all the random tops of puzzle boxes and the like that I'm also using for drawer organizers. (Once my kids inevitably lose half the puzzle pieces, that seemed like a good way to “use” the boxes.)
The boxes are just plastic — no rubber anywhere — but the underside has very small plastic feet to elevate the box a bit, and the bottom of the box has a bit of a textured pattern (probably to keep things from sliding around too much as you open/close the drawer).
The boxes come in a number of different sizes and are $1.49–$3.99.
(While you're there, I also love these wall hooks for hanging necklaces — I have four of them on the wall behind my closet door!)
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
You guys, I guess I just need to vent/express myself. I’m reeling because I just found out my first cousin died. I found out on Facebook. I am pretty sure she died of COVID because she was on a ventilator at the end (one of her family posted a photo). Her immediate family didn’t tell anyone she was in the hospital or even sick, and now they are just talking about how she went to be with the lord.
I know it’s political for them as southern conservatives (very southern, very conservative so maybe that’s why they’re being so careful not to want to say how she died… but wouldn’t you want to know? If it were your cousin? I’m really just very upset about all of this.
Anon
I’m sorry for your loss. I would want to know and presumably the family will put the cause of death in the obituary.
I think we’re getting to the point in the U.S. where “one death is a tragedy. 200,000 is a statistic.” I’m so sad for all the families that have lost loved ones. I’m also sad that my great-aunt died at age 101 alone in a nursing home (not of COVID) because her family wasn’t allowed to come in and see her. We have prioritized all the wrong things and there is now so much real loss.
Anon
The obituary is out. They did not put the cause in it. I found out a week after she died because they posted the obit on FB.
I’m sorry about your great aunt.
Anon
Oh, I see. Is there anyone that you can call, maybe someone just outside of the immediate family? I’m so sorry that the circumstances are making this even harder – closure is important and it seems like it will be a challenge to get it. Best of luck. Thank you for the kind words too.
anon
There are many possibilities that would lead a family not to announce a cause of death. It could be Covid and political, but it could also be personal and stigmatized–things like suicide, drunk driving accident, drug overdose. OP, I understand wanting to know, but please don’t jump to conclusions, and be sensitive to the immediate family.
Anonymous
I’m not used to seeing causes unless the person died of X (and they want to request donations to an X-related charity) or they say “she valiantly fought X for years.” “Suddenly” = heart attack. I think in the early AIDS era people stopped saying what people died of b/c of stigma and then just stopped all together. Car accident? Suicide (I think those can be more tragic for the survivors, but can see why people omit that — so much drama it invites sometimes).
I think: if you were really close, you’d know. It’s confirmation that you aren’t (but not meant to be about you, so pls don’t take it personally). It’s not like announcements have ever said “died of something they likely caught in the hospital for something else,” but that kills an awful lot of people each year.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Ellen
This is true. When young people die suddenly, Dad says it is most likely b/c of some kind of drug overdose. When young women die after a long undisclose illness, this is a code term for breast, uterine or other types of cancers. When someone dies “suddenly”, this is code for a heart attack or stroke (if not a drug overdose). Finally, people over 70 can have any of the above, so often there is no direct clue, except if they say “no flowers” and donate to X charity. The Charity often is a signal of why the person died, unless it is something like the Fresh Air Fund.
I do sympathise with you and think you should tell your aunt and uncle that you would have liked to have known ahead of time so that you did not have to find out on Facebook. That is why we need to connect directly with our freinds and relatives, and not rely on Facebook or Instagram for news. FOOEY on that!
Anonymous
I’m sorry for your loss.
To answer your question: no. The loved one is gone, the cause of death wouldn’t matter to me, except for if/how the person suffered. For perspective, it sounds like you weren’t/ aren’t close with these people. I don’t think you have a right to know the cause of death. Especially since you seem really judgmental of these people. When my immediate family member died suddenly everyone who mattered got a phone call. Anyone who really mattered showed up at my house. I certainly didn’t announce my loved one’s cause of death on social media. There was no need to subject his memory to that kind of gossip and judgment at such a painful time. (It wasn’t covid).
Anon
This. Given your judgmental tone, you have no right to know. You don’t sound particularly close, and you’re speculating wildly, and to be frank, do not, absolutely do not, say that to her immediate family or ask questions. I can’t think of a time when a semi-close friend did post about the cause of death (other than to say, she lost her long battle with cancer or the like).
I would be absolutely horrified if I were an immediate family member of this person and you reached out to ask how she died – you’re not close.
Anon
“Absolutely horrified?” That’s bizarre to me that you would come down on a first-degree relative for seeking answers to a completely unexpected death. Yes, the immediate family can choose not to share it and OP should not bang down their door asking questions, but it’s 100% within the realm of normal family relationships to want the answer to this question.
Anon at 3:12
Yeah I don’t think she’s off. For context, in the immediate aftermath of my loved one’s death from alcoholism, my aunt was more visibly shaken about someone at her country club demanding to know why he died than about anything else we all dealt with that week. Again, for context, the things we were dealing with were both heartbreaking and gruesome.
I don’t think a social media level cousin is entitled to more answers than a real life friend.
Anon
I’m OP and I am not planning to ask anyone at all. I’m venting and I wish I had known she was sick. Our two families used to be very close so I basically grew up with her. I’m just sad and shocked.
Anon
Ignore the haters. You said you were venting and it’s completely understandable to be shocked, upset, and sad. I would be too.
anonshmanon
While I don’t think OP can expect anything from the immediate family/shouldn’t attempt to make them disclose anything, you don’t know how close OP was to her cousin. “Anyone who mattered got a phone call” really makes a lot of assumptions. If I had died as an adult living on my own, I don’t think my parents would have even known all of the people that would have cared to learn of my passing. My husband more likely would, but he might also be too distraught to reach everybody. Telling somebody they weren’t told because they don’t matter is harsh.
OP, your grief matters. But that doesn’t mean you get to tell the immediate relatives how to express and handle theirs.
Anonymous
Nope. We can and did decide as a family that distant cousins who only communicate through social media don’t count. Especially when they’re more interested in judgmentally speculating on cause of death than comforting the grieving. They got it exactly right here.
Anon
I am so sorry, this sucks. I think if you want to know what happened, just be sure to ask someone who is at least as far away from her in the circle of grief as you are (e.g. you can ask another cousin or aunt, but not one that was especially close to her).
Anon
Whether not not I “would[] want to know,” I would not pick a fight with her grieving parents about it, nor ever presume that knowing how she died would bring her back.
Find out from extended family how she died, if you must know. Send a lovely card with your condolences.
Anonymous
I’m so sorry for your loss and in no way are you entitled to know her cause of death please don’t ask anyone. If they want you to know they can tell you. We didn’t share my mother’s cause of death because we didn’t and don’t know what is was which is incredibly painful. You do not need or deserve this information.
Anon
If we’re jumping to baseless conclusions, there are other unexpected ways to die that can land you on a vent, but it could also be COVID.
I’m in the south and wonder about some deaths that aren’t being attributed to COVID because of a single negative COVID test weeks before a person’s utterly mysterious death of what sounds like COVID to me. So it could also be that no one knows.
Anonymous
I don’t think it would be wrong to ask a family member what happened. The obit is not published just to family members; it is presumably published to the general public. They might not want to/think they need to share details, for whatever reason, to the general public but that does not mean they would not tell you. You are jumping to a lot of conclusions, though, all of which could be accurate or not.
Anonymous
I would be fuming if I were you OP, I could see my in-laws/extended family doing this too. Being so committed to an ideology that they hide cause of death to maintain their belief system that literally killed a family member. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
You would be “fuming” because someone didn’t disclose cause of death in an obit? Lots of people don’t. And It’s no one’s business. My husband has severe Crohn’s. He hates telling people about it because they instantly think of his bathroom habits. You can bet if it takes him, that I’m not including it in the obit. And it disgusts me to think of it some day being a source of gossip.
What difference would it make if it were COVID, or a stroke or a suicide truly?
Anonymous
Because the OP seems to want to call them backwoods “covidiots” and otherwise mock their politics and religion while they’re grieving. That’s what her entire post is getting at.
LaurenB
Well, if indeed they are as she seems to hint (didn’t take precautions, considered COVID a hoax, didn’t wear masks, etc.) and their family member died from it, then “backwoods covidiots” would pretty much describe the situation. I mean, I know I’m sick and tired of seeing the so-called human interest stories of Joe Blow from Smallville who thought this was all a joke, went to a party and by golly, is now sick as a dog and wants to warn others that this was real. No one told you to be a moron, Joe Blow.
Salty Cinnamon
They are her family. She gets to identify them in her chosen manner.
ral
So sorry for your loss. It’s hard to find out unexpectedly too, esp when your two families used to be quite close. I see a lot of haters responding, and that saddens me. Likely, your relatives are not ready to share, whatever the reason may be. If there’s a way to find out discreetly, this could be a way for you to know, yet respect your relatives’ silence. There may come a time in the future when it’s easier to talk about everything going on – time does help. It’s quite divided right now, plus everyone grieves differently. Take care.
More elegant storage cubes
I have a new mudroom. It has places where you could put a storage cube, but the fabric ones I used to get when my kids were little look like cute things for toddlers. Is there a more adult (or less horrifying to tweens) version of a storage cube?
I’ve only been going to grocery stores, so whatever exists in actual stores is becoming a faded memory. Whatever it is, I will need 3 of them, so something you can get in identical multiples.
Vicky Austin
What about the same things in neutral colors? Bright red, yellow and green scream daycare cubby to me, but gray wouldn’t.
Panda Bear
I have good luck finding these at stores like Marshalls, Target and Home Goods. I bet the container store would have nice options as well.
anon
I have the poppin box seats from the container store. They look great and are comfortable to sit on because the lid is padded. They come in several colors and there is also a bench version. https://www.containerstore.com/s/slate-blue-poppin-box-seat/d?q=storage+seat&productId=11010808
Anon
Target has different kinds of plastic cube bins that are standard sizes. They come in clear/frosted, colored plastic, “woven” colored plastic, etc. Ikea also has a ton of options in different colors. If you don’t care about design aside from not being childish, Dollar Tree also has some collapsible fabric ones in boring colors like beige.
NY CPA
I have the Target Y-weave baskets in white and they look fine. Definitely no toddler vibes.
pugsnbourbon
Surprisingly, Ikea. The PUDDA ones are a heavy gray felt and look grown-up.
Anon
We have several basket cubes from the Container Store. Lots of good options there
SmallLawAtl
Pottery Barn has seagrass baskets in several different sizes. They are very adult. I actually have them in my (real, non-home) office. I bought some comparable (but cheaper) storage baskets from Wayfair but did not like them as much and used them in a closet where no one can see. Of course the were 1/3rd the price, but the PB seagrass looks 3 Xs better. They also have had them for years, so if you need to add one later, you can. Target has felt storage bins that look nice; I see them on social media from time to time but have not used them.
MKB
I have some copper wire ones from Wayfair that I use this way in my no-kids household.
Anonymous
One thing that the world seems to be saying right now is that a married woman who wants a career should be d*mn sure that she is married to a man who will actually do the day-to-day work of supporting that (vs posturing about valuing women). RBG and Amy Coney Barrett may be nothing alike (or very alike; I don’t know either), but it seems that the wouldn’t be where they are without having married the spouse that they did. I hope that this sinks in for my daughters — you might work hard in school and be good at your job, but your spouse may be the key determinant in your success or lack thereof, so choose carefully. [Most of my family didn’t go to college, and, honestly, I feel that the blue-collar men never fail to support their wives as hairdressers, nurses, teachers, government employees; it’s only the college-educated men who seem to not be able to hack it. My nurse cousin is married to a steelworker and they coordinated their shifts for decades when their kids were young. I think when you are closer to the bread lines than the winner’s circle, everyone has skin in the game and pitches in.]
Anon
I wonder if there’s some truth to what you’re saying. Not the college part – both of my husbands have been college-educated and wonderful teammates – but both came from less affluent backgrounds (parents were teacher + mailman; teacher + concrete worker). In those households, there had to be give and take to keep the wheels on because there’s no paid help and everyone’s tired.
Anon
+1
I think that’s why so many commenters chide posters for putting up with man baby BS. You will never ace your career if you have a grown child at home to take care of in addition to your actual children.
Be with a man who is absolutely psyched and bursting with pride for you when you kick ass and out-earn him.
Anon
And even if you aren’t ambitious about your career, why put up with a man baby?
Monday
Or don’t partner at all! Staying single has some clear benefits as well. Managing a full household with no help is a distant third option after these two.
Anonymous
I am sure that that is why 90% of the widows I know date but don’t remarry. And vice versa for men (remarried within a year).
Senior Attorney
Yes! Having a good partner is the best, but being alone is way better than having a bad partner!
Anonymous
I think in ACB’s case the bigger factor is the childcare situation. Her husband’s aunt has been their nanny for 16 years. That is a very uncommon level of stability in their childcare situation.
It’s easier for male partners to be supportive when the family strongly benefits financially from the woman working. It’s less straightforward when it’s not strictly financially necessary to work. I was express with DH from our 3rd or 4th date that I would never be a SAHM and that it was important that I had a partner who recognized that my career was equally important.
Anonymous
In my families, the grandmothers do a lot of the grandchildcare. I think that is pretty common if you are blue-collar / working poor. It helps if you have kids younger, so the grandmothers are younger, but my aunt took care of all 4 of her grandchildren and my other aunt took care of 3 of hers when my cousin got divorced and worked 12-hour shifts at a hospital. My mother is the only one who didn’t, but that is b/c my sister and I didn’t live close and she was thisclose to getting her teaching pension when we had kids (my aunts were from the generation where you got an associates degree and started being a bookkeeper and you were always blending work and home, in a way that BigLaw has yet to master, but small-town CPAs have worked out for decades).
Anonymous
The family as childcare really depends on living near family and having family young enough to provide care. That is increasing less common. We leave near family but siblings do not so no local aunts/uncles. My parents and parents of all my friends are too old to provide meaningful childcare for multiple kids beyond covering the occasional sick day.
I wonder if the aunt will move with them to Washington.
Anonymous
Michelle Obama’s mother moved with them to DC. I envy that my cousins had a similar setup — I loved my Nana and would have loved to have had more time with her when she was young and back in my snuggling years.
Anon
One downside of this weird progress zone we’re in is that guys are still getting all kinds of credit for doing anything historically considered women’s work while their wives are being told “you should have picked a more supportive and egalitarian husband” when it turns out that they need more than that.
Plus the guys who will take advantage of anything are taking advantage of this by talking a big game and acting like they’re contributing equally, then letting the less-visible stuff slide and riding on the fact that their partner trusts them and their friends think they’re a great husband.
We should 100% be teaching girls to find a partner who pulls their own weight, but we also shouldn’t be blaming women for partners who pull far less of the weight than they promised.
anon
+100 I have one of those husbands who I could see people writing these types of posts about. Yes he does the bulk of childcare and that allows me to work biglaw hours but I also manage almost all the emotional labor as well as running the household. I make enough we can outsource a lot but unless it’s a kid thing (I’ve been pretty successful on fully pushing that to him), I’m still the one planning, coordinating, communicating, etc. he’s a great partner but I’m sure if I were a man and he were a woman he’d be considered a lazy wife. And yes I was up front about expectations and was conscious in choosing a partner who made my life easier (and would have been content without one at all if I didn’t find one) but I don’t think it’s fair to put yet another thing on women. Lots of guys seem like they’ll be supportive partners or equal parents until they aren’t and there’s not much to be done other than divorce them.
Senior Attorney
This reminds me of something I heard years ago and have never forgotten: “Think of the best man you know. He’d only be a mediocre woman.”
Anon
Thank you for posting this. I made the same comment to my husband a day or two ago: Jesse Barrett and Marty Ginsburg are/were unusually supportive husbands.
“I think when you are closer to the bread lines than the winner’s circle, everyone has skin in the game and pitches in.”
Yep. This is true any time the woman’s salary is a game-changer for the household. Sometimes the “game changer” is the stability of her salary and her benefits, which allows him to take more risks; sometimes it’s just getting them from working class to middle class. Sometimes it’s ‘just’ taking them from, say, a HHI of $100k a year to $175k a year – which means maxing out retirement, a bigger house, nicer vacations, putting money in the kids’ 529s.
Anonymous
This. Two working class salaries create a middle class household. One working class salary makes a working class household. The lifestyle improvement makes it worthwhile for the men in those areas to lean in at home.
Cat
Interesting perspective. I can see it in myself a bit. Early-career I far outearned DH (Biglaw vs clerking and small firm life)… so when one of us needed to put work aside on the weekend to take care of Life Duties like grocery shopping, it was always him bc my job was obviously the priority for family finances. Over time and job changes it’s evened out – more like 55-45% split than 70-30% – and with that has come a more even divide of chores and errands too.
Anon for this
One big reason I like living in a HCOL area is that we need both incomes to comfortably live here (including saving for retirement, college, etc.), in a neighborhood I like with great schools. Sure, we could move to a cheaper area but I don’t like the idea that only one income is expected there, with all of the implications for moms. I guess that goes against the “be able to live on one income when you buy a house” idea but oh well.
anon
I have absolutely found this to be true. My friends are all white collar professionals who are married to white collar professionals, and their husbands do very little housework and childcare. They expect praise when they do even a little. My husband’s family is entirely police officers, firefighters, and electricians married to nurses, hairdressers, and teachers. Those couples all have an even split. It’s been interesting for me to observe that the men who are self-professed progressives and are the loudest about equal rights are the ones who still expect their wives to do the lion’s share of the home duties.
anon
This checks out – my mailman father helped out my teacher mother a lot.
NW Islander
All of the language around women “choosing” partners seems wacky to me. Men choose. If a man doesn’t choose you, you end up alone. “Doing life” alone is exhausting, even under the best circumstances.
The RGB movie brought me to tears because it drove home how disadvantaged I was relative to every woman who has someone else in her corner.
Signed,
40, single, and exhausted.
Anonymous
I hear you sister.
Anonymous
I just want to say that this rings really true for me. Men absolutely choose. Women who get “chosen” first have a leg up in everything. I can’t stand smug women who married young advocating for having children in law school.
anon
I know that there’s downsides to being in a relationship but I often feel sad/disadvantaged when I think of my financial state as compared with my friends who married in/around grad school. Dual incomes go along way when you’re trying to buy property in my city, especially in the face of student loans and an uncertain job market. I’m the last of my single friends and the only one who still rents. A second income and some emotional support would have also been helpful during some pretty tough periods of career instability.
Anon
Gently, if you’re single at this point, presumably there have been men you didn’t choose along the way.
Anonymous
Gently, go to h3ll. I’m not the OP but I feel similarly and I assure you I’m not declining proposals left right and center.
Anon
Sorry, but I agree with Anon at 4:21. The never-married women I know in their 40s are single because they either A., never met the right guy and didn’t want to settle for less (and good for them! Don’t settle! Marriage is work enough without being married to someone you are “meh” about) or because B., they had incredibly high standards no mortal male could ever possibly meet, unless we’re talking about Evan Antin, World’s Hottest Instagram Veterinarian. I reject this idea that women have no control over their destiny and are like preteens standing around the edges of the floor at a school dance, waiting for someone to pick them. I have heard a lot here, over the years, about how hard people try (or don’t try) to meet someone and make a relationship work. Not gently: being angry, hostile, judgmental, rigid, snobby, extremely picky, or having the attitude that it’s better to be single than cope with even the slightest flaw in a partner is a good way to end up permanently single. I acknowledge I got lucky when I found my spouse but finding a partner is not all down to luck. Effort put into connecting with another person, withholding judgement, and not immediately leaping to find any tiny little flaw in a person and disqualify them as a partner pays off for most women. Additionally: self-pity and bitterness are the world’s worst perfumes. And they can be smelled a mile away. Not just by men.
Kitten
Yea, I’m in my mid 30s and don’t have any problems getting dates but unfortunately my 20s and early 30s were consume by 3 long relationships that I eventually ended because the guy wouldn’t propose so here I am.
I can see a homeless guy on the street out my window right now who would marry me today so I suppose you are technically correct.
Anon
Same. This is really insulting and rude. I’m single because I am turning down proposals.
Ribena
I’m with you on that. I’d love to have a man in my corner.
Anonie
I’m so sorry. I am not single now but was for so many years. I still vividly remember the feelings you express in your comment. I hope things turn around for you soon! If it’s any hope, myself and several of my perpetually single friends have all fallen in love and gotten engaged in the past 2 years. You never know when it could happen, as cheesy as it sounds.
And yes, I know that some women LOVE being single. But when you long to be partnered up, it is definitely exhausting to wait, even when you have a large network of friends and family.
anon
In my 20s and single but have a very demanding job. I’d LOVE for someone else to take over some household management when I’m working 90 hour weeks on very stressful topics (I work in gov’t, so I’m not making enough to outsource too much)
Anonymous
Agreed! Also 42 and single. I make it work but man would it be nice to have some help.
anon
For every woman you see with “someone in her corner” there are probably 5 that you’re ahead of because their partners don’t actually lighten the load and actually contribute to it.
I also reject the idea that only men chose. You’ve never turned down a suitor? That’s choosing.
anon
You said this really well. My husband has been 100% supportive of my career and is an equal partner in our household. He is a white-collar professional, but I attribute this to two things: 1) My income makes a real difference to our household. He earns more, but things would be a heck of a lot less comfortable without my salary. 2) His parents ran a family business together. Everything was completely intertwined; it would not have worked if they hadn’t BOTH pulled their weight. I actually really appreciate that about my ILs, because I grew up in a very traditional household and have brought some of those patterns with me.
Anonymous
My experience with blue collar vs. white collar men is starkly different than yours. In my experience blue collar men love women with “pink” collar jobs (hair dresser, retail, teacher) because they need the income but still want their wife to do the lion’s share of housework and childcare. White collar men tend to understand why a women would want a career that doesn’t work around their husband’s schedule.
Also can we stop lauding the Barrett family? They seem to exist only to force other women to bear children against their will. I really don’t care if this dude changed a diaper once. He doesn’t think women are people.
Anon
My experience jives with your first paragraph and I whole-heartedly agree with your second paragraph.
Of Counsel
Me too! I was wondering who all these supportive blue collar men are. In my family, the men whose families NEED the wife’s income are 100% supportive of their wives’ jobs, as long as they make less than their husbands, do 90% of the housework and child care, and are appropriately deferential to the “head of the house” (aka the man).
And they are happy to “help” as long as that means yard work and taking their sons to sports practices and games (while Mom of course is the one who did all the work to get the kid signed up and has bought/baked the treats and made sure the bag is packed with everything kiddo needs). At least one of them is also happy to take his daughter- which I suppose is progress of a sort.
Anon
IME, it’s less working class versus middle class/college educated and more of the “did I have role models for working women in stable households growing up”. Women have worked out of the households for centuries, but it was largely in poor families where they had to work to eat. I know so many men that are great partners, and almost all of them had mothers that worked. They respect the work that their spouse does and are more equal partners accordingly if they respect their mothers (all this assuming husband is not a raging misogynist that expects all childcare, home care, and a paycheck from the wife). The one’s I’ve seen that have their cake and eat it too had mothers that did not work and also didn’t have them lift a finger around the house (they say chores are good for the spirit for a reason).
no longer in the South
My husband has finally noticed the subtle but insidious gender norms in our traditional Southern families. He’s always known about the obvious pushback, like when we moved to a new state for my job (complete with calls between my MIL and my mother speculating on whether we were getting a divorce), overly praising husband for any cooking (even though he cooks all the breakfasts and a decent amount of dinners), and assuming that I am the person to coordinate all family gatherings on behalf of our household (I haven’t quite been able to shake this one yet, but I’m still fighting the good fight about it a decade later!).
He said it’s less that his dad and brother do so little, and more that I do so much. His parents expect him to speak for us, and I jump in. Or he tells them something that they assume I don’t like, so they ask me about it, and then they’re just shocked when we’re on the same page. Or I just make decisions, make purchases, make plans, make dinner, I just get stuff done. There’s no consulting with husband when it’s unnecessary to do so, and visa versa, the expectation is that we’re both capable adults and we’ll do what needs doing when it needs to be done and that’s that. He did also notice the assumption that I was available for childcare for the kids if SIL and MIL were not available. Nope, I love the nephews, but if “the adults” are going somewhere without the kids, I’m going with them unless expressly asked to watch the nephews as a favor (SIL doesn’t do this to me, she gets it, but the assumption that if I’m in the room I must be the one in charge of the kids, in place of their own father, is ridiculous). It’s quite jarring when we go back for a visit because our life just does not operate with the underlying assumption that husband’s job, thoughts, needs, and decisions are more important than mine.
Anonymous
OP here. I am actually from the SEUS as are both sides of my family. Different families; different things. But I swear we are not unicorns.
LaurenB
I agree that both RBG and ACB did well in selecting men who were supportive of their careers, and as much as I do not care for ACB’s views, I dislike some criticism I’ve seen that “how can she raise 7 children and be a justice.” No one seemed to be concerned about Scalia’s 9 children.
Ellen
You can also be successful as a woman if you are not married as long as you do not have to raise a child. For me, that is why I have done all that I have to date, tho I would trade it all for a husband and children, like my sister Rosa did. Unlike me, Rosa was not academically inclined, so she focused on finding a spouse from day 1 at community college. She met Ed at a finance seminar where he came to speak with students about investments. He immediately spotted Rosa and they started dating that same week. They got married within 6 months, and 7 years, kids and a new home in Chapaqua, she has NOT looked back. All she needs to do is run the house for Ed, and she has full time live in help since the pandemic to teach her kids.
Alina
I’m going on a 3 week work trip in a few weeks, ahead of a big project release. I’ve traveled for work before, but only for 4-5 days at a time max, not like this. I’ll be staying in a house with colleagues, each in our own room. Food etc is provided, but its a bit remote, kind of like a field expedition, so it won’t be easy to just go pick up something if I need it. I know its a strange situation, even weirder with COVID, but that part of this has been sorted out. Has anyone done something like this before? What are some things I should pack or bring that were particularly helpful to you?
Ribena
Any luggage restrictions? Laundry facilities? Dress codes?
Absent that I would make sure to be the person to bring some extra ibuprofen, sanitary products, and so on. Someone will need them, inevitably.
Alina
No luggage restrictions, dress code is actually pretty casual (but I still want to be somewhat decently dressed since I’ll be around coworkers – like a hiking trip with the in laws). I actually don’t know about laundry facilities, I should check that!
I didn’t think about sanitary products, good call!
Anon
Are you sharing a bathroom? Sorry this sounds horrible.
For me, we rent houses on vacation. Packing for them was always different than packing for work travel. First and foremost you have to bring all your toiletries. I was fine relying on hotel soap and shampoo but you can’t count on a rental house having them. Find out if you need to bring your own toilet paper and paper towels as well. Bedding and towels, for that matter. In my experience they’re usually provided, but we did rent one house where they expressly said to bring your own.
Are you all planning to use the kitchen together? Presumably you’d want to eat most meals from restaurants (take-out hopefully) but for breakfast, I like to bring along food items to make mornings easier, like granola bars, tea bags, and my favorite sweetener for the tea. If I’m planning to cook, I also bring along my chef’s knife, apron, kosher salt, olive oil, and some spice packets from Penzeys. This is assuming you’ll be driving there, of course.
Bring along some kind of modest robe if you’re expected to shower in a shared bathroom. And modest loungewear/pajamas for time spent at home.
Vicky Austin
Might be weird, but every time I travel without a nail clipper I regret it.
Anon
Assuming a shared bathroom I’d want slippers or sandals I could wear to and from the bathroom and either a toiletry kit or some kind of caddy (like in college) to bring my supplies back and forth from the bathroom.
If you are flying, see if you can make a stop on the way to the house for supplies so you can just buy shampoo / conditioner there. If there are other women in your group, maybe you can agree on a brand and just buy one big bottle of each so you aren’t schlepping them back and forth from your bedroom.
Make sure you have some lounge attire and comfy bras like a Coobie for your downtime since you probably wont want to be around the group in your regular PJs.
Anonymous
Snacks! I hate being somewhere remote without a snack when I’m starving at an odd hour or didn’t live my meal.
anon
I don’t do much of it right now, but in an industry with a lot of field work (so odd accommodations, rural/remote locations, limited infrastructure,etc)
– Snacks! If the food is provided, you may not have many choices. Keep meal replacement bars on hand if it’s a meal you can’t stand. Keep other snacks on hand (both in the field and at the house) for snacks in between meals, since you may be eating at different meal times than you’re used to.
– Comfy yet presentable clothes for after the work day when you’re hanging out (as opposed to PJs)
– Are you going to have time to workout? Will you try to workout? If so, what will you need for that?
– Sleep aids – sometimes we have to share rooms so melatonin/eye mask/ear plugs/what noise app and headphones, whatever will make it easier for you to fall asleep.
– Lots of clothing, to be prepared for all weather. If you’re doing outdoor work bring lots of layers, bring waterproof clothing (I never go without my rain jacket AND my rain pants), extra boots, extra socks, etc.
– Entertainment – a book, a downloaded movies/tv shows on a tablet (if wifi will be spotty), some games downloaded on your phone. Mostly for when you want to get away from the group and do your own thing, but also games/movies are fun if you’re getting along and want something to do at night.
– That being said – find out what the infrastructure/ammenities are at your location (is there internet – is it wifi or dialup, is it high enough speed to stream videos? Is there cell service? What are roads like – if there’s a storm what’s the plan? If you’re in a remote enough area never assume you have reliable electricity/wifi. On weekends/nights can you go into town? If so, what does that town have?
I know that this sounds like a lot but I have colleagues who spent a month in a tent eating MREs when working somewhere very remote. If the area has any specific hazards (especially if you’re more isolated), sign up for the county’s emergency alert platform.
– A low set of expectations and LOTS of patience
anne-on
For ‘comfy yet presentable clothes’ I have the wide waistband HUE leggings and pair them with the Amazon Daily ritual t-shirt dresses for PJs as they can be an extra ‘real’ outfit in a pinch for travel days and roll up very thin/light. I’d throw a big scarf/shawl in too – also good to have extra (thin, easily packed) years.
For snacks I really like granola bars for an emergency breakfast and the sargento (or whatever brand) of salami/cheese/crackers – they’re thin (about the width of a notebook) and I can easily slide 2-3 of them in a bag, and enough protein/calories to sub in for lunch in a pinch.
Anonymous
Rent a car appropriate to the location so you don’t need to drive a subcompact in non-optimal conditions. Bring or ship an appropriate car emergency kit for the area. Bring your car and medical insurance cards. If close to a border, bring your passport and country entry documents and local currency (we were able to evacuate from a fire north through Canada). Bring cash in case local retailers have bad Internet connections. Buy a case of water and juice for the car. Bring emergency mini meals, I like just add water oatmeal, protein bars, just add water soups and noodles, and asceptic packed tofu and wasabi peas. Bring your favorite coffee, tea and herbal tea. Bring your personal cold fighting kit, I like Airborne, ginger tea and little honey travel packets. If you are in an area with Zika, Lyme disease, etc., pack appropriately. Bring multiple navigation systems, the car system may be running off an old DVD, your phone may lose Internet access, etc. Google maps may be out of date if their car has not driven the area recently, the City may have changed a street name, and Siri can’t handle one way streets or bridge outages. If you have the option also spring for OnStar or a similar satellite based guidance and emergency system. Sign up for local emergency alerts and check to see if you will be driving through areas where gunshots are common. You may be able to route more safely. Check the weather and air conditions in advance so you don’t get caught unawares in a tropical storm, the first big snow, smoke from fires. etc.
Anon
What’s your favorite sandwich? I need to up my lunch at home game. I’m one of the many people who have been making sourdough with my own quarantine starter, so I’m all set for bread. Just not what to put in or on it, I guess.
Abby
Bacon Guacamole grilled cheese. If you want to be super fancy, add some pesto.
Senior Attorney
Other great grilled cheese add-ins are harissa and fresh basil leaves (not necessarily at the same time). Also try adding jam to your grilled cheese. Sweet and savory deliciousness!
Anon
My mom used to sometimes make an oven roasted turkey breast, slice it, and layer that with lettuce, good tomato, red onion, I can’t remember the cheese but perhaps cheddar?, homemade ranch, and sourdough. Today I would probably add some slices of honeycrisp apple and maybe swap lettuce for arugula or microgreens for a more peppery bite.
Anon
Cheese, tomato, onion, sprouts, avocado, grainy mustard.
Serafina
A good soft cheese (Cowgirl Creamery Mt Tam is great if you are in the Bay Area), fig jam, prosciutto, and arugula/baby kale.
Burrata (or mozarella, but if you have good burrata it absolutely makes this sandwich), good tomato, basil or pesto. Prosciutto and/or arugula optional.
What can I say, I like fancy sandwiches.
Sloan Sabbith
Roasted chicken or turkey (I like the turkey/chicken that looks like it’s actually roadied, not deli turkey, but good deli meat works too), plain Greek yogurt mixed with sriracha or chipotle or sriracha Mayo, a good handful of baby spinach, sliced red onion, extra sharp cheddar, and apple sliced super super super thin. Sometimes a sliced tomato if it’s tomato season. You can also add bacon or avocado to this. I use ciabatta bread but I’ve also used sourdough.
emeralds
I’ve been rotating between: fried egg with cheese and smashed avocado; melted cheese with sliced tomato and smashed avocado; and tuna melts, with or without smashed avocado.
My common theme is “avocado makes everything taste better.” Even if my sandwich game is apparently a lot more basic than everyone else on this thread :)
Anon
Those of you who take melatonin for sleep issues, how did you figure out what dose would work best for you? I remember reading something on here a while back about how smaller doses can be more effective than larger ones. My main issue is falling asleep as opposed to staying asleep.
CountC
Buy a low dose tablet and start with one tablet. If it doesn’t work, try two and see how that goes. I use 3 mg, but I also supplement with other things.
Anon
I get weird dream if I take too much. 1/3 of the Costco pills works well for me.
Anonymous
i sometimes have the same issue (comes and goes for me depending on stress level). i have a bottle from costco and pils are 5 mg, i generally take half of one an hour or so before bed and then try to stay away from screens. i do think it helps a lot.
Anon
I see a neurologist for sleep and I believe the standard recommendation in that field is is 500 mcg, which is half an mg.
Anonymous
This – apparently with melatonin, while you can take a LOT without side effects, it’s most effective at low doses. I take 1mg.
Anon
This is pretty much what my sleep neurologist recommended (0.3-1mg).
CountC
Good to know!! I am going to cut mine in half and give that a try.
anon
Good to know!! I am going to cut mine in half and give that a try.
Tea/Coffee
I do just one of the kids gummies from Olly, which is like 1.5mcg. Works like a charm (i only do it 1-2x/week). the adult ones, even if i take 1/2 dose which is one gummy, give me weird vivid dreams and i am groggy in the AM
St. John skirt styling?
I found a used one for a bargain (solo, so no matching pieces). It is wonderful — soft, stretchy, not itchy at all, no wrinkles. But how do you style these? It comes below my knee. Waist is elasticized but elegantly hidden in a casing. I usually wear untucked shirts over stretchy waists, but that might look sloppy. Untucked sweater once the temps dip a bit more? Tucked in white blouse and open denim shirt over (or denim jacket)?
Cat
I’d try stuff on and play with proportions! Ideas- silk blouse tucked in for a Katharine Hepburn look; oversized turtleneck if you have the height and personal style to make it look intentional vs. frumpy; Tippi type sweater for playing it safe.
Having a denim shirt layered over another top is Peak 90s Mom Figure to me (like Chessie from the Parent Trap remake) so I’d give it a wide berth… but if you’re in your early 20’s maybe it’s cool again, ha!
Carrots
I have nothing to add to the styling question except to say that I love the Chessie reference :-)
Anonymous
I like them with leather jackets and boots, so they don’t read too fussy.
Anonymous
This morning’s thread about voting got me thinking. I have no idea what my voter registration signature looks like and my google skills are failing me. I’ve used several different signatures over the years. Is there a way to figure out what signature I used for my voter registration? Should I request to change it just to make sure it is consistent with what I’m using now?
Anon
Everywhere I’ve lived it’s taken from your driver’s license.
Anon
I would call your state’s elections office/department/etc and see what they use (DMV database, voter registration form, who knows). If it’s past your state’s voter registration deadline, I’m guessing there won’t be a way to change it.
Hobby Ideas
Do you have your voter registration card? It may have your signature printed on it.
anon
In my state when you go sign, you’re signing next to the scan of your signature. Just copy that when you go to vote!
CountC
I think the concern is for mail-in / absentee ballots. I admit to being ignorant to what these look like, as I have always voted in person. I presume that the mail-in ballots don’t have this, as that would increase the possiblity for fraud?
Anon
What are the best coffee/end table materials as far as durability and resisting scratches? I’m getting rid of my wood coffee and end tables in favor of something a bit nicer and more chic. I have two cats who did a number of accidental damage on the wooden surfaces – it wasn’t intentional scratching, but when sitting on the table/jumping off, etc. their nails dragged sometimes and created scratches. Ideas for next material? I may just do an ottoman instead of coffee table, but still need an end table.
Anon
Honestly, I’ve kind of given up on good furniture for this reason. I have one pretty nice end table with iron legs, but the cats have still done some damage to the edges of the wooden top. Like you say, they don’t deliberately scratch, they just accidently leave marks as they go up and down in a hurry. Oddly, I think my $5 Ikea Lack tables seem to have held up better than anything else- they seem weirdly impervious to cat claws despite the fact that one of my cats naps on them all the time. If anyone knows a real answer to this, I’d love to know too.
Anon
Nails can’t scratch glass, can they? I don’t have a cat so I have no idea. :)
BB
Yep. They can’t scratch glass unless your cat has some super hard nails. Get glass tables where the base is smaller than the top (so they have to jump straight onto the top and can’t use the base as a ladder). Also, try to keep their nails clipped to at least be dull and not pointy sharp.
SmallLawAtl
Iron and glass combo. There are tons of end tables with metal bases right now.
Anon
I get glass tops cut to fit my wooden tables.
Anon
If you have a cat that gets on furniture and you want nice furniture, get nail caps (if your cat will let you put them on). They are harmlessly glued on and fall after after a few weeks.
aBr
Large tabby cat owner here. We have a lot of hardwood reclaimed wood furniture that has held up well to our cat who is terrible about jumping on things. Our furniture that isn’t solid (e.g., plywood/mdf with a thin stip of nice wood on the outside) has scratched over the years, but the reclaimed wood is still holding strong.
anne-on
The RH “Martini” side tables – either square or round. We have the round ones in just about every size/room in our house. Not too big, and they can slide/nestle in under the side of a bed or couch. The small size is perfect for a book and a glass of water. They’re heavy enough not to tip easily and water wipes off without damage. We especially like them in bedrooms as we run humidifiers in winter and the cheapo wood tables I used at first warped badly.
Hobby Ideas
I missed the thread this morning, but something that helped me to come up with things to do during quarantine is to reminisce about what I enjoyed as a kid. Idk about all of you, but I had a ton of unstructured time as a kid and no way to get anywhere.
Some things I liked as a kid and their adult equivalents:
Dolls/polly pockets/pretend play = Animal Crossing/Sims type video games.
Drawing imaginary bedrooms and dream houses = messing around with online floor planning software
Cutting things out of catalogs = Pinterest
Joke books = comedy specials and meme group chats
Craft books = Pinterest crafts (however poorly executed)
Reading book series = adult fiction, re-read kid series, Netflix adaptations
Riding my bike = exploring the neighborhood on foot or bike
Making elaborate snacks = making elaborate snacks and drinks
Video games = new adaptations of those games
Redecorating my room = rearranging furniture, home improvement projects, organizing closets
Playgrounds = take a walk at a different local park each week
Writing letters = writing letters or emailing old friends and relatives
anon
Did we have the same childhood? I could’ve written all of this! Also was a kid who had no place to go. ;) I think it’s a great idea to reflect on what you enjoyed as a kid.
BB
Ooo! Are you old enough to have had the amazingly bad choking hazard tiny sized Polly Pockets? :) I LOVED those, and was kind of bummed to find out that they’re now totally different and the Pollys are much larger…although I kind of understand for safety reasons.
Marie
I had those. Those Pollys might have been small enough to choke on, but like a lego, if you stepped on one barefoot, they caused a world of pain!
Anon
Frivolous question. I took myself very seriously when I was younger and never experimented with fun hair, piercings or anything like that. Now I’m in my 30’s, a litigator, and have been jealous of pastel hair for years. Now that proceedings are 99% Zoom, would it be crazy to get some ombre pink hair color? I’m thinking I can tie it back in a low bun and it won’t be noticeable on Zoom. It just sounds fun to me.
Anonymous
No go for it
Diana Barry
100% go for it. You can’t tell. I have pink tips and I just pull it back. :)
anon
Do it!!! I’m getting another cartilage piercing this week for the same reason
CountC
I am in-house, so a little less conservative, but I am well on my way to having deep purple hair so I fully support this!!
No Face
We are the same person! I am thinking about getting an undercut for the reason.
Kitten
I support you 100%
Adjusting to rural living as a single
Hi ‘rettes. So in a fit of single lady confidence, I bought a home in June in a more rural area. I wanted space to lounge and garden. I was tired of waiting for a partner to have a space that felt like “home,” especially once COVID hit and my urban neighborhood became a ghost town.
It has been 3 months, and I have not gotten one single night of good sleep. The slightest noise – a small branch falling on the roof, the heater kicking on – makes my entire body seize up with anxiety and fear. Sometimes, I reflexively scream. I listen for the sounds of a home invasion. I plan my exit and wonder if I can run fast enough to make it to a neighbor’s house. I wonder how close I’d need to be before they could hear me shouting for help. Last night, it took me 5 hours to fall asleep.
I was born and raised in a major city. I have lived in major cities my entire life, mostly alone, without fear. I have tried noise machines, tea, massage, yoga, every kind of relaxation thing and it does not make a difference.
To be clear, I LOVE my new home when the sun comes up! I feel downright foolish for having this reaction in my new surroundings. But I still cannot sleep here.
Are there any ‘rettes who can give me advice on adjusting to a more rural environment. I do not think that selling and moving again is an option for at least a year.
anon
If you don’t have one already, install a security system for peace of mind. If you’re into dogs, I’d suggest getting one (both for the security feature, but I also love having another living creature to blame “things that go bump in the night” sounds on).
I always fall asleep with the TV on (or Netflix on my laptop), which helps cover up mystery sounds too
Cat
Security system for peace of mind is a great idea.
I’m like you. I have no issue sleeping through distant sirens, general traffic noise, and other city noises (someone’s driving down the street with music blaring, etc) but if I spend the night at my parents’ I hear every little thing from the heat, to creaks from the house settling, to the way the rain sounds different, to the clink of the toilet seat down the hall if someone else got up….
anon
+1 to the security system, and a dog.
Anon
+ whatever to the alarm system. I had it set up with a perimeter alarm so it will go off if any of the doors or ground floor windows are opened. If I hear a sound but the alarm isn’t going off, I feel safe.
I have had the same jumpiness as you since leaving my apartment for a single family home. The alarm is the only thing that has helped. I used to have dog, as someone suggested above. He barked at everything so he didn’t help, bless his idiotic little soul.
Anonymous
Definitely a dog if you like dogs. Great company. My grandmother who lived alone for many years used to leave the radio on all the time as well.
Anonymous
Install an alarm system. Even though the chances of someone breaking in are probably minuscule, it gives me comfort to know that no one is coming into the house without my hearing it. All of exterior doors and windows have chimes, so I’ll hear it if anything is opened. Then, when I hear something creak in the middle of the night, I know it’s just a creak and not the sound of an actual person in the house.
Diana Barry
You need louder white noise. It is anxiety-related, but the increased white noise should help. We have an old house and it makes random noises – I have a humidifier with a fan and have the fan run 24/7 so that is what I hear rather than the house creaking or a mouse in the attic, etc.
Anonymous
You need therapy stat. Or just an Rx for anxiety drugs.
SMC-San Diego
Get a big dog!
Kitten
Edibles knock me out regardless of environment.
Anonymous
To get more familar with rural noises, could you do some daytime “naps”? Put a sleep mask on and lie down and listen to your house and surroundings (sounds silly, I know) – a lot of your noises are there 24/7 and it might help to get rid of the night association.
As somebody who doesn’t do dogs – so I’m not advocating a pet – but since you mentioned always living in a city – remember that in the country a dog could be a working dog. You would need genuine work for it (guarding you, it sounds like), and you would need to give it a good environment, and be a very competent and dedicated owner, but it’s not odd to have outside dogs (or cats) in the country.
anon
Commiseration. I’m a single lady who bought a home, and I miss my top floor rental apartment sometimes. I have a big dog but he’s deaf and also kind of scared of the dark, so he’s no help. I really like to sleep with my bedroom windows open during the summer (I have no AC) – everyone does in my very safe small town, but I still wake up in a panic convinced I hear someone breaking in. My town is so safe that most people don’t even lock their doors, so I don’t know where this is coming from. Next house I buy is going to have a bedroom that is not on the first floor.
Anonymous
This sounds really hard. I echo the recommendation for a dog. I got my first dog 18 months ago. Never had one growing up. While the puppy days were no joke, he is amazing and one of my very best decisions. You could skip the puppy days and rescue an adult dog. He also gets me out for a walk 2x a day, which has been great for my mental health as I have a few hard things going on. I didn’t believe I could love him as much as I do.
Anonyz
Earplugs during sleep.
COVID data by location
Can someone help me figure out how to parse the infection data? So I live in Chicago and our positivity and death rates have been really low for a while now, which is great. But we’re surrounded by many counties (and states…looking at you WI) that are still hot spots. I assume residents of those hot spots come into Chicago on the weekends and do things like go to restaurants. But like, if they have COVID, their data gets tracked in their home county, right? What I’m getting at is that if I am thinking about eating out, is it a false sense of security for me to look at the Chicago stats? Because I could actually be interacting with a higher rate than what the data shows?
Anonymous
I think if you are anywhere in the Midwest, you need to just stay home. Yes, Chicago is an outlier and the numbers are low there, but if you look at the NYT graphs today, Midwest states cover the board for every set of bad stats and virtually every single state is on the board. You are exactly right — the selfish and ignorant people are likely crossing borders, coming into your sphere, and taking their stats back home.
anon
This week I’m WFH (only entire week I’ve been WFH during the pandemic) due to a training class I”m taking. Does anyone have recommendations for good WFH lunches? Caveat that my training class is 5 hrs long with a series of 15 min breaks, as opposed to a full lunch break
Anon
Leftovers from dinner the night before.
Anonymous
If you have a microwave, I might just get some Amy’s frozen meals, which I think are delicious and satisfying and varied enough that you could get five delicious ones that don’t feel repetitive. I also have been impressed with packaged Thai and Indian meals (both shelf-stable things like dal and frozen items like pad thai and chicken tikka masala). The shelf-stable ones, plus some frozen vegetables, can be prepared on the stovetop in a few minutes if you have no microwave. There is always soup, whether canned, store-made, or homemade. A packaged salad plus protein (deli meat, sliced grilled chicken or steak, shredded rotisserie chicken) is also a great, easy option and there are many varieties these days.
anne-on
I find a heavy lunch just knocks me out in the afternoon. I’m doing a lot of ‘platters’ or ‘snack lunch’ as I call it in my head. Fruit (apple usually, berries if I have them), sliced veggies, cheese (or meat, or bean salad if I have some) crackers or bread on the side.
Marie
Make a large pot of soup or chili, which will give you lunch for the rest of the week. This is a favorite soup of mine, which is quick and easy to make: https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/creamy-chicken-marsala-soup/print/
Screen time during COVID
It’s a bit late in the day but for those of you with elementary aged kids who are distance learning at home while you work from home, what do they do in the (seemingly endless) hours between the end of school and the end/evening pause of your work day?
My daughter only wants to play video games or watch tv. 2pm (when her school ends) to 5 pm (when my work day pauses to do dinner, etc) and then she wants more time after dinner. She’s 9-years old and reasonably independent but I don’t know what to suggest/require that she do to occupy herself for the 3-post school hours. She doesn’t have homework or need extra academic help. She has music lessons and language lessons on-line once a week but this doesn’t occupy much time.
What is a reasonable schedule at this age?
Anonymous
I’m impressed that your daughter is occupied until 2. My 8 year old son’s remote schooling seems to take him about 30 minutes. (I’m exaggerating, but barely – we’re in NYC and still just getting started too). We’re sliding into more and more screen time as he has really lost interest in everything else. I would say yes to screen time before dinner and then maybe you can do something else after dinner? Or at least watch TV together as a family, which I think is a whole different thing? My son is definitely getting more than 3 hours of screen time. It is just all we can manage right now.
Anonymous
We are no tv or screens for my 3rd grader during the week. Once we let her have some screen time M-Th, she whines for more and more and more and is unbearable, so we went with the extreme option. She finishes school around 3 She can have a snack, play with her little sister, read, draw, etc. She tends toward pretend play with her sister, reads, some activity book action, create something out of amazon boxes (intricate cutting and coloring for that), and heads outside around 5 to play with the neighbors (when a grown up is around—lots of small kids).
If she could take a little screen time and not whine for more, I’d think up to 60 minutes tops per day of additional screens, but for now that isn’t happening.
Anonymous
This. If we let our daughter have any screen time at all, she turns into a whiny couch potato monster. On days when she doesn’t get started with screen time, she draws, knits, bakes, and engages in other creative activities. The one thing we cannot ever get her to do is read.
Anon
Send her outside. Do you have a yard or a nearby park?
Anon
I was raised on TV and ended up a lawyer so if you have to give her screen time for all her awake hours during a pandemic, it does not make you the worlds worst parent.
rilawyer
+1
Screen time during COVID
Thanks for the replies – I was stuck in mod so I stopped checking for a bit.
Yes, if she watches any TV/does video games it’s all she wants to do, which is a big problem. She’ll rush through any school work she has and complain about practicing her instrument or anything else.
Her distance learning starts at 8 am and goes until to 2 pm four days a week, with several breaks throughout that period of varying durations. We already had the “no electronics during breaks” battle. I think the answer is no electronics at all until after dinner.
She doesn’t have anyone to play with. We’re in soCal so it’s hot, the air quality is currently bad due to wildfires and everyone in my neighborhood is ultra cautious about COVID.
I know that more screen time doesn’t make me (or anyone) a bad parent. But as other responders have said, it makes her grumpy and unruly and angry about anything that isn’t the screen, which is my concern.
Thanks again for the responses to my late post :)
Sloan Sabbith
Books. Even if they’re the babysitters club/saddle club/sweet valley high books of today, reading is reading. Or audiobooks and a puzzle or craft at the same time. That’s what I do to fill time as an adult!
Minnie Beebe
My 9.5 yo is in school until 3 (2:30 on Wednesday) — we have a rule that there’s only screen time between 4-5. He needs to find something else to do outside of that time. He doesn’t really have homework, but he will read, play with legos, stare at the ceiling, hang out in the yard… I don’t really care what he does, only that he’s not starting at a screen!
Normally we are on team no-tv-during-the-schoolweek, but we are doing what we need to do to get through this.
Minnie Beebe
I didn’t specify, but he’s doing e-learning, from home. Which means he’s on his school iPad ALL day.