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I've been on the hunt for a new scarf for a while now, ever since I lost my favorite DVF scarf (it was royal blue with hot pink accents! sob!!!). My requirements: something thin but warm and durable. Something that won't attract fuzz or create static cling. Something that has flattering colors close to my face – gray completely washes me out, for example, and while I still wear a ton of black, I'm aware it isn't the most flattering color on me these days. I prefer a print over a solid color.
I've gotten a number of these Nordstrom scarves over the years, and must say that they meet all of my requirements, although it's easier to find a solid color (and last year I didn't like any of the colors and prints they had out). The cashmere/silk blend is the perfect weight to be warm but not bulky.
This season's scarves are starting to come out, and so far this is the top contender — I love the fun mix of colors that might take a lot of forethought to wear otherwise, and I like that the darker colors make it more subdued than a BRIGHT RED SCARF might be.
The scarf is $99 at Nordstrom; you can also find it in a bunch of solid colors. If you want something even more durable and warm, the wool/cashmere wrap is also great – they have it in a ton of solid colors, as well as this teal/peach floral. (Peach is a no for me, but if it isn't for you the colors are really lovely.)
Psst: this “climate change” scarf from Chloé is something else. I don't think it's warm enough for my purposes (plus, $590) but it feels like frameable art.
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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Jo April
omg, I spent weeks jumping through paperwork hoops with my insurance to get them to cover my preferred bc formulation, and it is going to cost me almost $500 for a three-month supply. I am having some serious sticker shock and a LOT of regrets.
Anon
That is ridiculous! Does the manufacturer offer a rebate program?
Anon
Is it compounded? Why so pricey?
I agree to look on GoodRx or on the manufacturer’s site for a rebate if name brand.
(FYI I work on reimbursement data, and compounding pharmacies can be really sketchy – make sure it’s reputable and not just a rip-off scheme)
Anon 2.0
Also check the Mark Cuban owned Cost Plus online pharmacy
Anonymous
What kind of crazy formulation do you want?
Anonymous
At least it’s still cheaper than a baby? ;)
An.On.
In addition to the other suggestions, let your doctor know about the cost and see if they have suggestions – my birth control was $170/month, but apparently my doctor had some coupon code or promotional thing that took it down to $25/month.
Anon Aussie
I am so shocked by that! Just bought mine, $12.50 and they pharmacy dropped it off to my house. I don’t have health insurance but I do live in Australia.
Not just the money though, it seems like so much stressful paperwork and hassle in the US.
kids
I’ve sadly learned that most of my medicines are actually cheaper if I don’t use my insurance and I instead go through GoodRx / local pharmacies and pay cash. It is awful, and another way insurance is screwing us so we pay more out of pocket and they pay less. If I pay for my medicine in cash, then it isn’t applied towards my out of pocket max for the year.
That’s my Obamacare plan for you.
Anon
And ask your doctor if they have samples. When I was uninsured for a few years, I was able to manage on samples of BC and Zoloft the whole time.
Anon.
As GoodRX, Marc Cuban etc were mentioned above, can anyone familiar with the insurance business speak to whether you can get submit the receipts for medications bought on such sites to insurance and get reimbursed for it, or the costs applied to the deductible?
I was shocked recently to learn that there is a service called Ulta Labtests where you can order lab tests for a much discounted price, out of pocket. I usually get my annual blood work done through insurance without cost, but paid $250 for vitamine D levels since apparently this is not reimbursed any more. On Ulta Labs it was $25.
(Side note: Coverage for Vit D testing was removed during Covid since a link between low Vit D and worse outcomes was publicized early during the pandemic, which seemingly prompted tons of people to get this lab test, and promptly many plans removed coverage. WTH.)
Anon
Are scarves back in?? Are scarves back in??!! Inquiring minds and my closet need to know!
Anon
I don’t think so. I was surprised to see a scarf like this featured!
Anonymous
I thought blanket scarves and infinity scarves were out, so maybe these are in?
No Face
I thought blanket scarves and infinity scarves were out, so maybe these are in?
Liza
Blanket scarves look like the epitome of fall to me — soooo cozy and cute. I am one of those people who gets way too hot/itchy to pull one off, so I would have complimented you too!
Senior Attorney
I’ve been wearing small square silk scarves from time to time. And the internet seems to think larger silk scarves like the Chloe featured above (which OMG I die!) or a classic Hermes are also having a moment. I feel like the featured one isn’t very current, though.
Anon
I think basic scarves are timeless but gimmicky scarves like infinity scarves were a trend that ran its course. I’d still buy a beauty scarf that speaks to you, and I like oblongs better than squares.
Nina
This sounds right. At some point its cold and I need a scarf, and this is a very typical way to wear one. But thats different from a more fashion-y or trendy scarf
Vicky Austin
I love them. I used to read the Vivienne Files and imagine being so devoted to a color palette that I would buy a scarf in it and build all my outfits around it. Sadly, I am a magpie for color. Maybe one day!
Anon
I love the Vivienne Files!
Anon
I do too. You made me go down memory lane, through the archives. She was very helpful when I finally decided black wasn’t my best color.
Anonymous
It’s all about the colour palette and shape. Something like this? Yes. Buffalo check infinity scarf. Shudder. No.
NYNY
I’m reading this post as a scarf for outerwear, not an all-day accessory. If you live in a cold place, scarves are always in.
Vicky Austin
I thought scarves were for fashion until I moved to North Dakota, and after that I never underestimated the humble scarf!
Anonymous
Yes!! Growing up in the pnw I never ever had scarves – my French host family in high school was horrified I might catch a chill! Then college in New England and I realized what they are for :)
Anon
I have gorgeous silk scarves that I remember my mother wearing when I was a kid. They are so far out that I treat them as classics, remembering my mother with each wear. I choose to think of the scarves as personal style, rather than fashion.
Anon Aussie
Love this!
Anon
To me, this is like saying “Are shoes back in?”
Scarves are a basic. Certain styles trend, just like certain styles of shoes, but we’re not all going barefoot because shoes are “out.”
Scarves will always be around in one form or another.
Anonymous
+1 especially for outerwear. Although maybe Dr. Birx singlehandedly brought them back, who knows.
Anonymous
Shoe and scarf styles change, though. The eyelash trim and the bright red pattern look very outdated to me.
Anon
I mean, that’s what I said.
Duckles
I saw this and was HORRIFIED so I hope not.
To be fair I still love infinity scarves bc they’re so warm and practical and don’t think I’ll ever go back to non-infinity scarves, trendy or not. But both this print and the eyelash trim is 🤮🤮🤮
Anon Aussie
The eyelash trim can feel like spiders tickling me so I hate it. Maybe I just love where there’s too many hairy spiders!
Anon
I wonder with the Kanye West backlash, how much of his acts are his personal feelings and how much is rampant untreated mental illness? I had a relative who suddenly became unhinged and unfiltered in a very hateful way. Now, I don’t know Kanye at all, but it does seem that he is mentally ill (and, who knows, perhaps a closet antisemite previously). For my relative, it was a new med that made him psychotic. I get that some people you need to walk away from because they are vile and hateful people who are lucid and rational. With Kanye, IDK how we deal with the mentally ill (but it is clear, no, from his running for President and maybe also having his own church, that something is going on there that is at some clinically relevant level at times, and yet not at other times). I feel bad for his kids, having this sort of track record as a parent that is so public and I guess the private side of things is probably not very camera-ready, either.
Anon
Why does it matter if it’s from mental health issue or actual anti-semitism? He should get the help he needs and quietly live the rest of his life under a rock. I’m Jewish so this is personal and unforgivable regardless of the reason. Same thing with someone like Mel Gibson. Does it matter if you’re drunk or sober and say anti-Semitic things? I don’t think so.
Anon
I’m totally with you. The casual antisemitism that I see of the non-mentally-ill these days, in very liberal circles, is really disheartening. And these people consider themselves 1000% employable, at least in the circles they run in. While I get that there are some legitimate issues that people can have with Zionism and the history of the middle east after WWI, there is a dark side that I see a lot in the BDS movement and it is really scary to me how OK people are with it.
Anonymous
This. BDS movement may have started with good intentions but it has taken a turn.
ANON
He will never go under a rock because people talk about him ALL THE TIME. My brother is mentally ill and has said racist things that scare me sometimes. AND YET, he never makes the news.
anon a mouse
Mental illness is not an excuse for ugly, racist feelings. There are plenty of people who have mental illness and manage it without being terrible people who spread hate. Please do not conflate the two things.
Anon
+1
Anon
This +100000
Anon
Wondering b/c I have never experienced this, but my sense is that what you say when you are, say, drunk, is what you feel when you are sober. He is just saying now what he thinks, 100%, yes?
Anonymous
That’s what I was wondering. Lowered inhibitions and impulse control around the truth or is it something more like an actual symptom—hypersexualixation, grandiosity around religion, etc. are linked to dementia, for example.
Cat
“in vino veritas” goes back 2000 years for a reason
Anon
It can be a lowered inhibition thing, but having spent some time around people with serious mental illness, I think there’s actually something that’s quite different about things they go on about. It’s much more delusional and paranoid and, unfortunately, many common anti-Semitic tropes fit very well into exactly the types of things that people with serious mental illness are already inclined to believe- there are powerful people out there watching you and controlling everything. I don’t want to excuse Kanye’s behavior, but I think it is a little more complicated than just saying that this is that he really thinks. The reality is that it’s very easy for people with this kind of condition to think that “people” (Black, Jewish, lizard people, you name it) are trying to trying to manipulate them, which means it’s all the more important for mentally healthy people to not support this stuff and allow it to influence the easily manipulated.
Anon
+1
Anon
I’d add “libs” to the people out to get you, at least for a certain deplorable segment.
anonshmanon
you also forgot the CIA.
Anon
I was just thinking of this when picking out Halloween movies. I won’t watch anything where the villain is a small child. I get that kids can be unnerving and make for scary movies, but I just worry too much that it could put ideas in the wrong person’s head.
I’ve witnessed paranoia as a symptom of mental illness, as a side effect of medication, and as an early symptom of dementia. To me it looks more like people latch onto surrounding ideas or revive old memories than that they come up with sincerely felt ideas of their own.
AIMS
I think there is a lot of overlap between conspiracy theories and anti-semitism and most conspiracy theories ultimately always lead back to anti-semistism. There’s probably some distinction between people who come to anti-semitism from the conspiracy theory angle vs. regular old prejudice and hatred angle and while it’s dangerous and bigoted either way, it’s probably relevant to thinking about how we address this issue going forward because understanding how these things spread helps. The Atlantic had a good discussion of this recently:
https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2022/10/why-conspiracy-theorists-always-land-on-the-jews/671730/
But I do get how for a lot of people the “how” of it is irrelevant because the result is just so abhorrent and I can sympathize with that too.
ANON
I don’t think you know what “excuse”means. Mental illness is absolutely an explanation for all kinds of deviant thoughts and actions. That doesn’t mean all mentally ill people are racist or that all racists are mentally ill.
Anonymous
“Closet”?! What closet.
Monday
Adults are accountable for their impact on other people, period. I don’t think I believe that anyone’s hate speech (or violence, or whatever) can be attributed to mental illness or substance use. But even if it is somehow related, then that just means the adult is accountable for staying in a state of mind in which they won’t harm other people–i.e. in treatment, taking meds, sober from substances, or whatever is necessary. They can even set up a mental health advance directive if they know they are susceptible to losing their judgment.
anon
NO.
We do not stigmatize those with bipolar disorder or other mental health issues by lumping them in with bigotry. We do not further the bigots by letting them claim a mental health disorder as their excuse to not be held accountable for their actions. The two are not mutually exclusive -Ye in point- but there is absolutely no room for putting these together or furthering the narrative that we can blame it on Blackness or other marginalized communities. Hold this dude accountable. Stop harming other groups by attaching it to things it’s not.
Anon
Amen sister.
Anonymous
The best description I saw from a bipolar person is that bipolar disorder doesn’t change your fundamental values. We just got a glimpse of his.
Anon
I have a sibling with bipolar. Family always dismissed Sibling’s atrocious behaviour as a result of bipolar. Eventually, I figured out that the “uncontrolled” violent bipolar outbursts were eerily well timed for not being caught in the act, and that whatever bipolar was doing, it was not the cause of the violence. So yeah, this.
Anon
Do we have to go through this again? It’s been discussed ad nauseum. No, being mentally ill doesn’t make you an asshole or a bigot. Kanye West is an asshole who also is mentally ill.
brokentoe
Please share your best pound cake recipe – I cannot find mine!
JTM
I’ve made this one from Joy The Baker several times and always get compliments – https://joythebaker.com/2020/12/the-every-pan-cake-batter/
Digby
The Cook’s Illustrated pound cake –
https://www.food.com/recipe/the-best-pound-cake-cooks-illustrated-318595
Ribena
Not a standard pound cake but the smitten kitchen cannoli cake – link to follow
Ribena
https://smittenkitchen.com/2015/10/cannoli-pound-cake/
Vicky Austin
Oh, I love this one and you’ve just reminded me I have most of a tub of ricotta to use…
Anon
My close friend has a boyfriend who adores her and does way more for her than she does for him. His birthday present to her was the most thoughtful thing I’d ever seen; I imagine she will get him something very small for his b-day (she is not a big gift-giver due to hyper-frugality). He is always getting her flowers; I have never seen her get him anything special just because. He tends to pay for more dates even though she makes 4x what he does.
And yet. She is constantly complaining to me about him over insignificant things she doesn’t have a right to be angry about. Examples: they were supposed to go on a weekend trip but she cancelled due to a UTI. He went on a weekend trip with his mom instead. She was livid and had to talk to him about it. If he doesn’t text her early enough to confirm plans, she’ll sulk al throughout said plans.
The issue here is that she always wants to talk to me about these things when she gets really upset about them. She is someone who needs her feelings validated, and will get upset if you push back or offer insight. I don’t want to be complicit in this, since I feel like it is anxiety and control issues that affect her life otherwise as well (including her relationship with me – I am on edge about her erratic, random bouts of moodiness and disappointment in me).
I’m tired of it. I tried to push back last time and say “Is it possible you could let some of this go?” Her response is that she “needs to teach him how to meet her needs” and that he “prioritizes his own comfort/convenience and doesn’t think about other people.” Meanwhile, he does so much more in the relationship than her.
I don’t want to change her mind or fix her, but just get out of having to be a sounding board without having her mad at me. What do I say? How do I make it clear that I don’t agree with her take without making her angry and labeling me a bad friend? Also – is this a common thing? Women focusing so much on their own needs in relationships and not at all on meeting the other person’s needs, and needing to exert constant control over the other person’s behavior? It’s like anything he does that deviates from perfect needs to be monitored, addressed and corrected, and ensured that it never happens again. It’s exhausting.
Anonymous
Girl enough of this nonsense. She’s a bad person and she’s not nice to you. When she starts in on this “wow Katie that’s mean I’m gonna go now” and then hang up, ignore her drama, and stop being her friend.
Senior Attorney
Yikes. Based on what you’ve said, you can’t disagree with her without making her angry. Me personally, I would have distanced myself from this toxic person a long time ago.
Vicky Austin
I had a friend exactly like this in college, and I stopped being her friend because she was nasty to me and to her perfectly lovely boyfriend in very similar ways to your friend (like nasty Facebook posts about how he was “fired” for bringing back the wrong perfume from the store). No matter who wronged her, it was always because they had no respect and no consideration and she had done everything right and been a stellar communicator. (Spoiler: no.)
I never found a solution other than just not being her friend anymore. Seven years later that was the right decision, and they are divorced.
Vicky Austin
In fact, based on some of the things you said, I’m not sure you’re not describing my college friend!
Anonymous
Why on earth are you friends with this person?
Anonymous
Why are you still friends with her? She sounds exhausting.
Anon
I was with you until you generalized this into an all women thing.
I personally know way, way, way more men who are thoughtless about their female partners, and these men are almost always paired with a woman who is selfless to a fault (because who else could deal with their selfishness?). Couples like this attract each other. It’s not a woman thing.
OP
OP here – totally agree and thank you for noting this! I guess I just haven’t had male friends who police their girlfriend’s behavior like this in hetero relationships, though I definitely know a way larger percentage of men who are thoughtless about their partners’ needs than woman. But this felt more unique to being careless about his needs, but more specifically, policing his behavior even when he’s giving more.
Anon
Again, it’s not an “all women” thing. It’s a your sh1tty friend thing.
Anonymous
+1 I was also with OP until she started spewing the s*xism.
Anonymouse
DTMF because she sounds incredibly toxic. I hope her bf leaves as well and finds someone who appreciates him.
You’ve said all this stuff about how poorly she treats her boyfriend, and I’m curious if you’re overlooking how poorly she might treat you? Or are you the one she bestows favors on and is nice to because you don’t challenge her?
Dr. The Original ...
He sounds lovely and she sounds like a nightmare. Please slip him my contact info and encourage her to seek a therapist for her unrealistic demands on others in a variety of her personal relationships. Also, please consider why you keep someone so Britney-level t0xic in your life. You deserve a better friend and he deserves a better partner.
Anonymous
She’s not nice to you or him. Why are you friends with her?
Anonymous
“Also – is this a common thing? Women focusing so much on their own needs in relationships and not at all on meeting the other person’s needs, and needing to exert constant control over the other person’s behavior?”
Are you for real? This is absolutely not a thing. Why are you generalizing from your one mean friend to all women?
Anonymous
Yup. This. Just because you’ve decided to stay friends with a bad person doesn’t mean you get to pretend it’s a whole big thing.
Anon
I’m not sure you can do anything about her or fix her – she has to want to fix herself. If you feel like eating something, ask her whether she would like a man to treat her the same way she treats her boyfriend. If not, that’s a wake up call.
I tend to be sympathetic to people in relationships who say that it is not all wonderful and joy – relationships can look very different from the outside than the inside. (Ask me how I know.) But what you are describing is not healthy or mutual. Consider how much contact you want to have with her.
Anon
PS – that whole thing about her making 4x what he does? I’m guessing that’s her issue.
No Face
She just sounds like a narcissist. Man or woman, they are all the same. Everyone is punished when they don’t fall in line. Doesn’t sound like a good romantic partner or friend.
I hope her boyfriend eventually leaves. There a couple people in my life who married their narcissists, let the narcissists rule their lives for 15-20 years, only to be cheated and dumped. So hard to watch. One is a man who was married to a woman, and the other was a woman married to a man.
NaoNao
Ooh, I dunno. I can see a couple things here from a different perspective.
I once had a man buy me a hard to find vintage puzzle after I’d mentioned it was one of the few things I’d regretted leaving behind in an overseas move. That man was also an abusive alcoholic…who bought me flowers and gave me gifts.
Things aren’t always what they seem. To me, gifts, flowers, and dates are superficial and while not meaningless, they aren’t everything.
If I had to miss a weekend trip due to one of Nature’s most annoying torments, I’d be a little peeved and hurt that my BF frolicked off on a weekend trip without me. Not that he…*has* to stay home, but a little solidarity and “hey, do you want me to reschedule and hang with you and take care of you” would be much more welcome than bouquets and elaborate dates.
But that aside, I’ve had friends like this that appeared to pick, pick, pick over every little thing and no man on earth could have made them happy. But are YOU a woman? Do YOU treat men like this? If not, it’s not a “woman thing” as I’m pretty sure you very well know!
Anonymous
Quick lawyer question. What does it mean for a case to be “in the administrative phase”?
I’ve been retained as an expert witness in a case. We’ve had a few meeting, the first of which was summer 2021. I know things can drag in but they seem in no hurry for my opinion and have given no sense of timeline for when it might be needed. It pertains to something that happened almost a decade ago at this point.
Senior Attorney
I’m not familiar with that term, but it’s not unusual for litigation to drag on and on. It wouldn’t hurt to touch base from time to time. Also when things heat up they are likely to want your opinion in a hurry so be prepared for that.
Anon
Haha I’m an expert witness. I was engaged by one client at the beginning of 2021. I haven’t even given a deposition yet. I’m basically acting as a consultant at this point, which is fine. I’m getting paid!
Discovery takes a long time, setting strategy takes a long time, and now we’re in the attempts at summary judgment and all the other court filings. It will go to mandatory settlement conference before any court stuff. This takes forever. Be patient.
Anonymous
OP here. I haven’t done *anything.* I did request some documents that would be required for me to form an opinion (think: medical records for a malpractice suit or something) and did eventually get those.
I’m not in a hurry, I just feel like I should be doing something? Idk. Guess not!
Senior Attorney
Nope. Just stand by.
Liza
If you haven’t already, ask the client if there’s some deliverable they need from you or some preparation you should be doing. But if they say no, then it’s no! You don’t have to be a mind reader. :)
No Face
Agree with everyone else on timing. I’m literally writing a brief about something that happened a decade ago!
For some types of matters, there must be some work before an agency before someone has the right to sue in court. (Federal discrimination claim goes before the EEOC before the employee sues in court). That could be the “administrative phase.”
Lauren
I was reading through the sun lamp comments from this morning and thinking of getting one. I don’t feel like I have SAD but it does take me 30 mins – 1 hr to wake up each morning, regardless of how much sleep I get the night before. Like last night I went to sleep at 10:30pm, alarm went off at 7am, I didn’t get out of bed until 8am. I was WFH so that was fine, just inconvenient. I just need some time before I’m ready to get up. Maybe waking up with a sunlight lamp would help speed that up.
Vicky Austin
When I was WFH, I also needed that time, and I found that spending that first bit of time on my phone made everything worse. Some Instagram hustle influencer posted something to the same effect – don’t make your first dopamine hit of the day phone-based. That advice has also served me well, despite its obnoxious source. I switched to reading a paper book instead and found it so much better. Sunlamp reading time sounds lovely if that’s your jam.
Anon
I wonder the same thing. I get up and get breakfast in my pajamas, but after breakfast when I go back upstairs to get dressed for the day, I really have to fight my urge, not always successfully, to sit on my bed for an hour or so and scroll my phone. What’s up with that?
Anon
I have breakfast and read the paper. You never know these days what has happened in the world, so I feel like its investing vs wasting time.
Anon
Don’t keep your phone in your bedroom so you’re not grabbing it first thing. Get a sunlight alarm clock. If you have the ability, set your heat to come on a little before you want to wake up so you’re not faced with the impossible task of getting out of your warm, cozy bed into a freezing room. Accept that this is the way it is in the darker, colder months.
Anon
Fav app for regular life stuff? Example drinking water with reminder sounds and tracking, reminders to eat (even if it doesn’t track what you eat, just that you did), showering, stretching, etc. I can handle complicated professional things but am struggling to remember basic life skills, especially on days I am not on camera or seeing anyone.
anonshmanon
I use loop for habit training, although I turn off all reminders. You can track yes/no like did I take my daily supplements, and you can track numbers like how many glasses of water did I drink?
Anon
This is for the poster who was looking for non woolen sweaters on the merino wool post yesterday
Amazon Essentials Women’s Long-Sleeve Lightweight Crewneck Sweater https://a.co/d/bn03DQp
I have these in three colors, with a double in my favorite navy. They’re washable. They’re a good basic layer. I love wool but I also had a closet moth problem last year and I just wanted some basic, basic cool weather layers that I didn’t have to worry about. They’re perfect for that.
pugsnbourbon
I’ve gotten a couple 100% cotton sweaters from Am@zon brands and been happy with them.
Anonymous
Can you share links? I’m giving up on wool due to moths and would love some cotton ones.
Anon
Not pugs, but I had an amazon basics top I liked last year that I liked and it went completely out of stock before I could by another color. They tend to rotate through styles, so it could be that pugs’s sweater is no longer offered.
pugsnbourbon
Sure!
I just ordered this cardigan and it’s nice and thick. Word to the wise – the sleeves have a LOT of volume which you may not be looking for: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B089LRSHMX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1
Had this turtleneck for three years and it’s held up very nicely (not 100% cotton, but no wool: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07QHG867S/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I thought I got another one but it’s not coming up in my orders. I’ll check again.
anon
How do you deal with friends who have gotten sucked into a weight-loss MLM? (To be clear, they aren’t recruiting me, so maybe I should just mind my own business.) Two of my friends have gotten into a certain diet program that starts with an O, and one of those friends has become a “coach.” Both have lost 50+ pounds in a pretty short time period, but from everything I’ve read about this program, it is a dangerously low-cal diet. When other people fawn over their weight loss, I have remained mostly silent because, in my mind, this is adjacent to an eating disorder and very messed up. No, I’m not going to say, “You look amazing!” when you actually are starting to look ill. Both friends started the program with a not-great body image to start with, and it just worries me that this is going to backfire in the long run. I don’t see any way to voice my concerns without being labeled an unsupportive person who just wants them to fail. (Another common phrase among people who do this program.) I know I’m probably being a judgy B but I’m so sick of hearing about fuelings and substitutions and blah blah blah. I find it pretty triggering, and I don’t even have a history of eating disorders.
Anon
Hm, if they’re not trying to recruit you and you don’t feel like fawning, just stay mum. If it really bothers you, avoid them. But I assume you’re asking here because you want to “fix” them, and there’s no way to do that. Do not tell them they had a bad body image and all of this is going to backfire. Do not express your concerns. There is no way that goes well. Just back off.
anon
I think it’s reasonable to tell them that you don’t want to be around discussions of dieting/weight loss.
For a close friend, I might ask what their doctor thinks of the plan/weight loss speed.
Senior Attorney
All of the above, plus please be kind when they gain the weight back.
Anon
Has anyone ever tried a handheld back/neck massager for use at home? Like the kind you can get at, say, Bed Bath & Beyond? Do they help loosen knotted muscles, or are they basically just giant vibrators?
Anon
I have one and I love it, though I mostly use it on my calves and feet to recover from running. I don’t know how nice it would feel on my neck. I use a tennis ball to massage my back instead.
kids
Yes, I’ve tried one, but found it uncomfortable and painful. But I am not a massage person who like the deep tissue stuff. Have you found that massage helps your back/neck issue? If so, I wouldn’t bother with a massager. I would just get a tennis ball, lay down on your back on the floor with the tennis ball on the sore/tight area, and push/roll/knead it in.
The stuff that has helped me is a good mattress and pillow, good ergonomics with computer/work-station and trying not to be on my phone too much.
Of course, the best are the key exercises – core. Planks. Good posture. Chin up. Roll your shoulders backwards into your back pockets. This pushes your chest out, butt out. Good posture
pugsnbourbon
A racquetball is a little smaller and harder, which can be good for pinpointing those knots.
Anon
Lacrosse balls are where it’s at for this application!
Anon
+1 my PT had me get a lacrosse ball for home and one for work
Anonymous
Like a Therag*n? We have one of those and it’s actually great. I use it on my legs – particularly my glutes – after intense workouts.
Anonymous
I have one and it is meh. They best things for tight muscles that I have found are the TENS units you can get on Amazon. They are like 20-30 bucks and work miracles.
Anonymous
No, but for my back, a foam roller does wonders.
Anonymous
Paging this morning’s Handel’s Messiah contralto person – look up Carolyn Watkinson.
Handel OP
Thank you!